2.12.

2016 ENG 107 Class notes:

Comments 1
To answer this question, I have found a personal story named How I
survived nearly 2 years of unemployment according to this story
because this unemployment have a wealth life before, so its not
hard as other poor unemployment, but its still not easy to keep
their life habits same as before. The unemployment have never
imagine he gonna lose his job before, and he thinks his job is totally
safe, but when it happened, at the beginning of his unemployment
life he and his family just reduced cable package and sell one of his
car, but with time goes by, they have to change their lifestyle, their
food just similar spaghetti. Luckily, there are not always
disadvantages for unemployment, "You learn that it could all
disappear tomorrow, we've made a lot of changes. That's the best
thing to come out of this; we know we can't be spending money we
don't have, like we have been in the past." So from this
unemployment, they have learn a new thing that they have to save
things they already have and treasure todays life.
Comment:In my opinion, i think your source is a just a story from a
person, it is not reliable. Also this person's story may not be a
common situation in American. Thus i think you should change to
another source.
Task: Add some sentences that will generalize this personal story.
You need to decide where you will add these sentences and what
you can say. If you were going to split the revised paragraph into
two paragraphs, where would you separate them? What additional
information would you add about this source?
Comment 2
Corruption among doctors has been discovered to be associated with medical
care issues. Doctors prefer treating patients from the upper class, mainly
because they have better insurance and they are able to pay more out of their
pocket. However, this is not only happening in the United States of America
but also happening in other parts of the world such as in my home country
Zimbabwe. l vividly remember gossip going viral about people not getting
proper medical care. To worsen the situation, newspapers reported that
doctors at Parirenyatwa hospital in my hometown, have been found refusing
to give medical care to people from poor backgrounds unless if they provide
money. Moreover,reports from The National Bureau of Economic Research, a
world known website that publish reports based on studies done by several
universities, have also found out that, richer, better-educated people live
longer than poorer, less-educated people. ( Dalton, 2003). Thus therefore
proving that accessibility of medical care is based upon the social or
economic status which is not supposed to be the case.
Comment
Somewhat this research holds value and makes someone think about it however, it's not

100% true only richer people live longer. I mean you should not assert based on only their
research.People not only die of diseases but also from other things like accidents, poisoning
regardless of whether they are rich or poor. This research does not give us enough info why
rich people live longer. I suggest clarifying your inference.

Task: This commenter has asked a great why question. Why do

rich, well-educated people live longer than poorer, less-educated
people? Is it because of differences in access to medical care or is it
because of other factors? You need to create an answer to this
question and then insert your answer into this paragraph.
Comment 3
Paragraph: As we know, the number of requirement is based on how many people need it
which is could called supply and demand. That could be understand by how much it
worth and how many people need therefore, companies would produce about same
amount items to satisfy people. In my personal perspective, that the reason people would
lose their job and become unemployed. Because, if economy of a country is unstable than
the market of this country would run off their customer. People who work in the market
lose their income and have to reduce outcome the normal situation becomes company fire
their workers and sell their product by lower price which caused a negative adjustment to
this market circulation. Those are ways to a keep balance between Supply and Demand.
In the same time, these are also relating to unemployment.

Comment: I am finding it a little confusing when you use this word. The question will be,

requirements of what? I would suggest changing this word or add more words around it to
help readers understand what you're trying to say.

Task: It is your job to rewrite some of these sentences to make it

really clear how supply and demand is related to unemployment.
You need to provide definitions for any words or ideas that you think
are confusing. You need to add a concrete example that will clearly
demonstrate how supply and demand is related to unemployment.
Comment 4
"So what the separatists really is. That is a big question and the situation is complex.
I think every country in the world also has some people they are separatists and they
from different country has different opinion because of different reason. In China,
about this Kunming Railway Station terrorist attack, they are Uighurs separatists who
want to split Xinjiang of China. Xinjiang is the largest of China's administrative
regions and borders eight countries. Its population was mostly Uighur, and Most
Uighurs are Muslim. So Islam is a very important part for their life. And they think
their culture is more close to Central Asian nations. They also think Chinese
government to control the development of Islam. So some of Uighurs was fueled
resentment to Chinese government. I find a report in BBC news the title is Why is
there tension between China and the Uighurs? said that the ethnic tensions also
caused by economic. Because Chinese government was vigorously developing the
economy in Xinjiang. Lots of Han Chinese from eastern provinces went to Xinjiang to
find a job. This also makes the Uighurs dissatisfied. About the religious issues I do
not really understand what they really care about, because I am not religious beliefs.

But I also cannot understand about the economy issues them angry about. I think the
economy has developing in Xinjiang, this is great. So in my opinion, this is because
they are selfish. And they not only killed Han Chinese, they also killed more Uighurs.
Until now, there are about a dozen times different degrees of terrorist attacks
happened in Xinjiang and nearly a thousand people deaths, the most of them are
Uighurs. So I do not think they have any reasons let others sympathetic. These
things happened in Xinjiang is that most people do not know because the Chinese
government control the news media. Many people feel dissatisfied about this, but I
think this is a kind of way that the government protect us. Because it does not caused
peoples panic. So what the Chinese government also did about the anti-terror."

comments:
1."What are the differences between these two groups?" (Han and Uighur)
2."I would like to know more about a reasons that made them to do all of these stuffs.
I think you need to be more specific in the opinion that you are writing."

Task: Answer the question in the first comment. Insert your answer into the current
paragraph.
Then reorganize the paragraph and then split it into two or more smaller paragraphs
so that it becomes clear what the various motivations are for the Uighur separatists.

Comment 5
All one impacts others in their relationship, homeless people doing so. When
homeless people taking drugs and alcohol, the others will effective too, how
does those things impact their life? To find the answer for this question from
the homelessness living in the shelter is much easier than people living on the
street, due to homelessness in the shelter are living as groups. What people
are believing that the shelter is much comfortable and less drugs and alcohol,
whereas, it definitely a wrong idea. According to the research source from NY
Times, Drug Addicts Among the Homeless: Case Studies of Some Lost
Dreams, the author Gina Kolata said that Mr. Parmenter said the shelter
where he lived was infested with rodents and pests and there were drugs all
over the place. Mr. Parmenters personal experiences told us the shelter
does not change the rate of drugs abuse of homelessness. Why are there
drugs all over the place? It is sort of chain reaction among homelessness,
they are actually influencing others as well as themselves. Mr. Parmenter also
recalled, I saw one man stabbed to death and another man beaten to death.
Eighty percent of the shelter population and 50 percent of the staff were doing
drugs.
COMMENT FOR: "Why are there drugs all over the place?

Good question! But I can't see any logic answer to that. "Why are there drugs all over the
place?" You should research more to find an answer to that question.

Task: You need to use your imagination and logic to make a few
guesses to the answer to this question. You might also be able to
guess an answer by looking at the second quote. Then I want you to
insert your answers into an appropriate place into this paragraph.
Finally, I want you to reorganize this paragraph and split it into two
smaller paragraphs, one with the They Say (what most people
think about homeless shelters) and an I Say paragraph (what is
actually true about the shelters).
Comment 1 revised:

To answer this question, I have found a personal story in (name of

newspaper/magazine) titled How I survived nearly 2 years of unemployment.
according to this story because this (name of interviewee) have a wealth life
before, so its not hard as other poor unemployment, but its still not easy to keep
their life habits same as before. (name) have never imagine he gonna lose his job
before, and he thinks his job is totally safe, but when it happened, at the
beginning of his unemployment life he and his family just reduced cable package
and sell one of his car, but with time goes by, they have to change their lifestyle,
their food just similar spaghetti. (Name)s experience may be similar to the
experience of other wealthy people when they lose their jobs: unemployment may
require them to change their lifestyle and live a little more simply. However, for
average people, unemployment might cause even more dramatic changes to their
lives. For example, they might have to borrow money from friends, family, or the
bank. They might have to liquidate their savings or their retirement account.
They might have to take a second mortgage on their house or even sell it. In the
worst-case scenario, they might have to declare bankruptcy.
Luckily, there are not always disadvantages for unemployment, According
to (name), "You learn that it could all disappear tomorrow, we've made a lot of
changes. That's the best thing to come out of this; we know we can't be spending
money we don't have, like we have been in the past." So from this unemployment,
they have learn a new thing that they have to save things they already have and
treasure todays life.
This is a lesson that could be learned by anyone
experiencing unemployment. However, for people who dont start with much
savings or wealth to begin with, the learning of the lesson may involve much more
hardship.

Comment:In my opinion, i think your source is a just a

story from a person, it is not reliable. Also this person's
story may not be a common situation in American. Thus i
think you should change to another source.
Task:
Add some sentences that will generalize this
personal story. You need to decide where you will add
these sentences and what you can say. If you were going
to split the revised paragraph into two paragraphs, where
would you separate them? What additional information
would you add about this source?