Louie

"Boston New comedian Award"

BY
Moses Ssebandeke

m.ssebandeke@googlemail.com

EXT NEW STREETS LATE AFTERNOON

we open this episode with a midshot of Louies face as he
brings his hands towards his mouth so he can blow on it
He brings it back down to his side and reconnects it with
his tow daughters
He is holding hands with his daughters. LILLY (13 years old)
who is on the right and JANE (9 years old) who is on the
left
Jane stops suddenly which makes both Louie and Lilly stop
and turn around to face her.
She looks around her surroundings. and does a full 360 once.
LOUIE
What are you doing Jane?
He gestures for her to come closer to him
LOUIE
Daddy is tired and wants to go
home
JANE
no you are not!
LOUIE
What?
Jane points to a fire hydrant across the road
JANE
I recognize that fire Hydrant.
LOUIE
You cant recognize a fire hydrant
baby its not a person now come heJANE
I MEAN! that we have walked past it
already!
LILLY
Jane is right Daddy this is the 3rd
time weve walked around this
block. I recognize the smell of
that Hobo
Lilly points to a home less man who is sleeping in a pathway
that is next to them.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

2.

LILLY
Why are we walking around in
circles daddy?
Louie doesnt say anything and is trying to avoid the
question
JANE
Daddy want to bump into the lady
with the Shiatsu!
LOUIE
JANE!
JANE
Daddy has a crush on Shiatsu lady!
Jane starts chanting Shiatsu but she cant really pronounce
it so it comes across sounding like "Shits shoe"
People walk past and start scolding Louie for having a
daughter with such a potty mouth!
LOUIE
Jane be quiet!!
LILLY
is it true Dad?? you want to bump
in her again?
Louie tries to avoid contact of his dauters hoping that they
will change the subject but they keep eye contact.
He looks to his shoe and simply nods.
they both start laughing
LILLY
I thought you liked her since this
is the 5th time weve seen her and
weve basically changed our
hometime route.
JANE
isnt this stalking?
LOUIE
(stutters)
N-nn-no its no way like that!
LILLY
You know when she walks her dog...
why dont you just ask her out
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

3.

Louie hesitates to answer them

LOUIE
look sometimes distance is
the best thing...No offense to
your mum but I feel like that...
that our... the time we.. I mean...
the times we barely knew each was
our best times. I think the worst
thing you can do to someone is get
to know them...
There is a bit of an awakened silence shared between the
girls and Louie this silence is brought to a stop.
When a little shiatsu takes a shit

on Louies shoes.

He notices and swears to himself

LADY WITH THE DOG
Omg Im so so sorry.
Louies anger turns into nervousness when he notices that
its the woman he was hoping to run into.
LOUIE
(silence)
There is smiles exchanged by the girls and the woman. bt
LOuie still stands there speechless.
LADY WITH THE DOG
Um well I guess Ill see you
around. (to the dog) Come on boy!
Louie just stands there as she walk past him. He waits a
moment then turns to his children slowly in embarrassment.
And he just shrugs it off.
His daughters shake their heads and walk past him
LILLY
After seeing that daddy Im
surprised me and Jade exist
Lilly laughs and walks off around the corner. Louie hurrys
to catch up behind him
VOICE
(offscreen)
Real smooth Casanova.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

4.

Louie turns around frantically to see that comment came from

the bum who is on the ground and watched the whole thing.
He thinks of a comeback.but he know he deserved the comment
and just continues with his day.
CUT TO:
TITLE SONG PLAYS
CUT TO:
INT.THE COMEDY CELLER NIGHT
Louie is on stage performing his stand up.
the crowd is especially receptive tonight.
LOUIE
For me I feel the sayings we have
that really gets under my skin is
(Puts on his famous wimpy voice)
Ohh you wasted my time! or my time
is running out! ahh Im never
getting those hours back! (back to
normal voice) No you little shit
time doesnt belong to you in the
first place! Do you know how time
doesnt belong to you, because it
one of the only things no matter
how much we try no matter how much
of a stealing arsehole we all are
there is no way you can get it back
once you give it way! like you can
take back those "friends" dvd you
gave away. but time isnt a shitty
dvd.
At the other side of the bar we see a short chubby man (60
years old) sitting on a stool nursing a shot of whisky
laughing
LOUIE
Thats all for tonight! thank you
for watching
The crowd Louie as he makes his way off the stage
We see him at the asking the bartender for a drink
The short man makes his way over to Louie and tells the
Bartender that he will be paying for that drink
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

5.
TRAVIS
That was a great show up there you
really killed it tonight!

Louie who is not in the mood for talking doesnt even look
at the man.
LOUIE
Thank you Im glad you enjoyed it.
TRAVIS
youve come a long way from jokes
about jerking off.
Louie is taken aback by this comment and turns around to
give this man his full attention.
LOUIE
Travis!
TRAVIS
Come here you fat cunt!
They embrace each other like old friends should
LOUIE
Wow it must be umm er
TRAVIS
17 years or I think 18 years since
we last saw each other. I remember
because it was around the time
Clinton got his pee pee sucked and
everybody and their grandma was
doing jokes about it.
LOUIE
(laughs)
I remember those were good
times...Are you still performing?
TRAVIS
Not so much now Im just doing the
odd spot here and there but Im all
about the promoting game now you
know there is a little more money
in that.
LOUIE
I remember Boston being a tough
scene coming up. Everyone talks
about New york but I always say
once you lived through boston-

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

6.

TRAVIS
then you are ready for
anything...Look Boston misses you
Louie looks at Travis with a sense of mistrust.
TRAVIS
(clears throat)
Umm this is why Im here. I looked
at the listings but I also wanted
to ask you a favour.
LOUIE
Im divorced Travis looking after 2
daughters so I cant lend you
money.
TRAVIS
is that what you think of me you
piece of shit!
LOUIE
well yeah! When ever you finally
paid back the money you owed me you
would ask to borrow it all over
again!
TRAVIS
Well Ive changed!
the drinks arrive and the bartender wait for a payment from
Travis.
Travis pats himself down looking for is wallet. He can not
find and gives Louie the puppy dog eyes
Louie sighs a sense of being annoyed and gets his wallet out
to pay for the drinks.
TRAVIS
Louie... I didnt come here to beg
for money. There is the final of
the Boston New comedian of the year
award...and we need a judge for
this weekend.
LOUIE
(To the point)
Nope!
TRAVIS
Louie come on!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

7.

LOUIE
I promised myself that Ill never
go back to that city.
TRAVIS
I know but the guy we had fell
through his penis explodedLOUIE
His what?
He was
bed...
need a
scene.
out of

TRAVIS
into using fireworks in
but that doesnt matter. We
real hero of the Boston
You know someone who made it
that shithole.

LOUIE
Why dont you ask Ketih.
TRAVIS
You cant still be angrey about
that?
LOUIE
I have every right to be traTRAVIS
Okay okay I understand... Anyway he
cant do it becuase he has his son
in the final. you know a reall
conflict of intrest kind of thing.
Louie takes time to think and looks at his Drink. A shot
Glass full of live damaging whisky
Travis tries to break the awakard silence
TRAVIS
Look you come just for the weekend.
We set you up in a nice 3 star
hotel.
Louie laughs to himself
TRAVIS
What?
LOUIE
You and me know that a 3 star in
boston means 2 stars everywhere
else!
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

8.

They both laugh with eachover

Louie stops takes a think and takes a gulp of his shot of
whisky.
LOUIE
Ill do it.
TRAVIS
Really!?
LOUIE
Yes!
TRAVIS
Great Louie! I really appreciate
it! Ill send over the details to
your email tonight!
Louie gives a half smile. As Travis pats him on the back
and makes his way for the door.
We slowly see that smile disapear as we slowly track into
him.
CUT TO:
EXT NEW YORK HIGHWAY ON THE WAY TO THE JFK
MONTAGE: A WIDE SHOT OF A YELOOW TAXI DRIVING ON THE ROAD
LOUIE IS IN THE BACK SEAT LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW
WE SEE WHAT HE IS LOOKING FROM HIS POV. IT IS A GIANT
BILLBOARD OF A TALK HOST WITH A CHESSY SMILE STANDING ON A
TABLE. THE TITLE READS "THE KEITH SUMMER SHOW. BACK ON NBC
SUNDAY THE 5TH OF FEBRUARY...HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL YOU
FAT JERK"