Show, Dont Tell

Intern/Resident: Callie Catchpole

Subject: ELA

Time Estimate: 45 Minutes

Mentor: 1st/Mrs. Watson

Date: 3/2/15

Instructional Objective: The learner will (TLW) revise narrative drafts by enhancing or adding figurative
language and effective details. TLW understand the difference between a tell sentence and a show sentence
and be able to incorporate show sentences in their own writing.
Teks: (5.15A) The students are expected to revise drafts to clarify meaning and enhance style.
(5.16Bii) The students are expected to write stories using figurative language.
Materials:
Smart Board/Overhead
Large Pieces of Paper for Show, Dont Tell Chart and Said is Dead
Students narrative drafts
Post it notes
Opening/Hook: I will read aloud a brief piece of writing displayed on the whiteboard.
She needed a job. She was hungry. She was poor. She went to a candy store to get a job.
After reading the passage, I will ask what they think, who is she? We will discuss the fact that readers often ask
questions as they read and writers should anticipate and answer the questions. The writer of this sentence failed
to anticipate our questions.
Input/Information Giving/Modeling: I will display the following passage while I read it aloud:
Emily Watson peered in through the shop window. The afternoon sun made a mirror of the glass, forcing
her to shade her eyes to see inside. A long counter ran along one wall. On the top were glass cases holding
trays of candies-mounds of chocolate balls, butterscotch pennies, peppermint lozenges. Emilys mouth watered.
Halfway along the counter stood a cash register, its gold paint glinting in the sunlight. The lady behind it was
plump and motherly. And she was alone. Emily glanced again at the small sign in the window: Help Wanted.
She tugged down her too-short jacket and smoothed her skirt. Then, taking a deep breath, she pushed
open the door. The jingle of the bell startled her.
I will ask the students what they notice about this writing. We will refer back to our original piece of writing
and write Telling above it. We will look at each telling sentence and find where the writer shows us in the
second passage. I will highlight each sentence in the second passage that shows us something the first writing
told us.

We will discuss the sensory detail in the passage that helps the reader visualize the experience and why this is
more powerful than simply saying, she needed a job, or she was hungry.
Check for Understanding/Guided Practice: I will read the sentence The boy went up the stairs. and ask the
students why the boy is going up the stairs? The writer of this sentence failed to anticipate our questions.
Student will move closer to the whiteboard to help complete a Show, Dont Tell Chart. At the top of the chart
will be a simple sentence broken into three parts, dependent clause, verb choice and adjective/description. As a
group, we will rewrite the simple sentence several times, changing the mood of the subject each time. The
completed chart will look as follows:

Show, Dont Tell

The boy

went up

the stairs.

Mood

Dependent Clause

verb choice

adjective/description

excited

With a gleam in his eye, the

boy

raced up

to the top of the staircase.

reluctant/sad

Head bowed, the boy

sighed and

dragged himself up

the long staircase.

scared/sneaky

With a nervous glance, the

timid boy

crept up

the dark and shadowed

staircase.

happy/confident

While humming a tune, the

boy

bounced up

the stairs.

angry

With a scowl on his face,

the boy

stomped up

each step of the staircase.

Independent Practice: Writers Workshop - students will apply show, dont tell to their own personal
narrative drafts. They will find a passage where they can show more detail or imagery rather than simply tell.
Closure: I will stop students a few minutes before class ends and briefly recap what have been talking about,
using show sentences instead of tell sentences to help add detail to a writing piece. I will talk about the use of
the word said. How there are so many descriptive words an author could use to help show the reader how
someone is saying something (screamed, muttered, etc.). As an exit ticket, I will have students write any word
that could be substituted for said on a post-it note. Students will stick their word on a large piece of paper with
the title Said is Dead.
Evaluation: As students are revising their narrative drafts I will look at students revisions to see who is
successfully turning tell sentences into show sentences using figurative language and more detail.