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<title>Not Kelsey</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com</link>
<description>Lick my legs</description>
<pubDate>Mon, 26 Apr 2010 05:39:30 +0000</pubDate>
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<wp:category><wp:category_nicename>art</wp:category_nicename><wp:categor
y_parent></wp:category_parent><wp:cat_name><![CDATA[Art]]></wp:cat_name></wp:cat
egory>
<wp:category><wp:category_nicename>college</wp:category_nicename><wp:cat
egory_parent></wp:category_parent><wp:cat_name><![CDATA[College]]></wp:cat_name>
</wp:category>
<wp:category><wp:category_nicename>music</wp:category_nicename><wp:categ
ory_parent></wp:category_parent><wp:cat_name><![CDATA[Music]]></wp:cat_name></wp
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<wp:category><wp:category_nicename>musings</wp:category_nicename><wp:cat
egory_parent></wp:category_parent><wp:cat_name><![CDATA[Musings]]></wp:cat_name>
</wp:category>
<wp:category><wp:category_nicename>photography</wp:category_nicename><wp
:category_parent></wp:category_parent><wp:cat_name><![CDATA[Photography]]></wp:c
at_name></wp:category>
<wp:category><wp:category_nicename>show-tell</wp:category_nicename><wp:c
ategory_parent></wp:category_parent><wp:cat_name><![CDATA[Show & Tell]]></wp
:cat_name></wp:category>
<wp:category><wp:category_nicename>tv-movies</wp:category_nicename><wp:c
ategory_parent></wp:category_parent><wp:cat_name><![CDATA[TV & Movies]]></wp
:cat_name></wp:category>
<wp:category><wp:category_nicename>uncategorized</wp:category_nicename><
wp:category_parent></wp:category_parent><wp:cat_name><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></
wp:cat_name></wp:category>
<wp:category><wp:category_nicename>web</wp:category_nicename><wp:categor
y_parent></wp:category_parent><wp:cat_name><![CDATA[Web]]></wp:cat_name></wp:cat
egory>
<wp:category><wp:category_nicename>writing</wp:category_nicename><wp:cat
egory_parent></wp:category_parent><wp:cat_name><![CDATA[Writing]]></wp:cat_name>
</wp:category>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>d</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[:D]]></wp:tag_
name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>adventure-time</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[A
dventure Time]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>advice</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[advice]]>
</wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>animated-gifs</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[an
imated gifs]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>animation</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[animat
ion]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>birthday</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[birthda
y]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>bjork</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[Björk]]></
wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>classes</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[classes]
]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>collage</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[collage]
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>creepy</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[creepy]]>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>cute</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[cute]]></wp
:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>david-lynch</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[Davi
d Lynch]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>digital</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[digital]
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>doodles</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[doodles]
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>dreams</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[dreams]]>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>ee-cummings</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[ee c
ummings]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>facebook</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[Faceboo
k]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>feminism</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[feminis
m]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>flowers</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[flowers]
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>font</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[font]]></wp
:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>gender-binaries</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[
gender binaries]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>german</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[German]]>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>grammar-nazism</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[g
rammar Nazism]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>haikus</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[haikus]]>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>halloween</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[Hallow
een]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>holga-k200n</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[Holg
a K200N]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>i-fucking-love-pitt-pens</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name>
<![CDATA[I fucking love pitt pens]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>igby</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[Igby]]></wp
:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>insomnia</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[insomni
a]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>introduction</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[int
roduction]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>itunes</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[iTunes]]>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>lists</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[lists]]></
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>lol</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[lol]]></wp:t
ag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>mac</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[Mac]]></wp:t
ag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>new-years</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[new ye
ars]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>nostalgia</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[nostal
gia]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>not-kelsey</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[Not K
elsey]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>omg-life</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[omg lif
e]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>pedagogy-or-some-shit</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![
CDATA[pedagogy or some shit]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>playlists</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[playli
sts]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>poetry</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[poetry]]>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>porter-apartment</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA
[Porter apartment]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>rage</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[rage]]></wp
:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>satire</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[satire]]>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>scraps</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[scraps]]>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>screen-caps</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[scre
en caps]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>sinus-infection</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[
sinus infection]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>sketchbook</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[sketc
hbook]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>steven-j-bernstein</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDA
TA[Steven J. Bernstein]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>summer-movies</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[su
mmer movies]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>team-bacon</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[Team
Bacon]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>toy-cameras</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[toy
cameras]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>ucsc-arboretum</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[U
CSC arboretum]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>up</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[Up]]></wp:tag
_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>wamu</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[WaMu]]></wp
:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>webcam-stop-motion-thing</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name>
<![CDATA[Webcam-stop-motion-thing]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>why-am-i-posting-this-crap</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_nam
e><![CDATA[why am I posting this crap?]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>wordpress</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[Wordpr
ess]]></wp:tag_name></wp:tag>
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>words</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[words]]></
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>xiu-xiu</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[Xiu Xiu]
<wp:tag><wp:tag_slug>youtube</wp:tag_slug><wp:tag_name><![CDATA[YouTube]
<item>
<title>Hello world!</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2008/02/16/hello-world/</link>
<pubDate>Sat, 16 Feb 2008 20:16:26 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator><![CDATA[Kelsey]]></dc:creator>
<category><![CDATA[Web]]></category>
<category domain="category" nicename="web"><![CDATA[Web]]></cate
gory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[introduction]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="introduction"><![CDATA[introduc
tion]]></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.notkelsey.com/blog/?p=1</guid>
<description></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Well this is exciting! In the past, I maintained a blo
g on my domain but I made the mistake of treating it like mylivejournal. If you
'd like to read some sappy entries about my ~*~feelings~*~, be sure to friend me
on there. With Wordpress (the content management system powering these very wor
ds), however, I hope to set up a chronologicalaccount of any creative projects
I'm working on, rants I care to share with the world, and photographs I've taken
. You know, the type of stuff people <span style="font-style: italic">really </s
pan>care about. Hopefully this will give me the motivation to continue with my a
rtisticendeavors and maybe entertain a few of you.]]></content:encoded>
<excerpt:encoded><![CDATA[]]></excerpt:encoded>
<wp:post_id>1</wp:post_id>
<wp:post_date>2008-02-16 12:16:26</wp:post_date>
<wp:post_date_gmt>2008-02-16 20:16:26</wp:post_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_status>open</wp:comment_status>
<wp:ping_status>open</wp:ping_status>
<wp:post_name>hello-world</wp:post_name>
<wp:status>publish</wp:status>
<wp:post_parent>0</wp:post_parent>
<wp:menu_order>0</wp:menu_order>
<wp:post_type>post</wp:post_type>
<wp:post_password></wp:post_password>
<wp:is_sticky>0</wp:is_sticky>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_key>_edit_lock</wp:meta_key>
<wp:meta_value>1250466192</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_key>Music</wp:meta_key>
<wp:meta_value>Soundgarden</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_key>_edit_last</wp:meta_key>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_id>3</wp:comment_id>
<wp:comment_author><![CDATA[tessie]]></wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>burn.this.down@gmail.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://tessie.notkelsey.com</wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_author_IP>71.105.73.246</wp:comment_author_IP>
<wp:comment_date>2008-02-16 21:38:04</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2008-02-17 05:38:04</wp:comment_date_gmt>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[omg. this layout is adorable! i love the colors, th
ey look amazing. great job on it! it makes me happy :D haha]]></wp:comment_conte
nt>
<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
<wp:comment_type></wp:comment_type>
<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_author><![CDATA[Pdurph]]></wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>pdurph@gmail.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://jnovak.net</wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Tessie is right!
P.S. I got my toes done up with my fingernails matchin'.]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_author><![CDATA[Chroy]]></wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>chroyyy@gmail.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Yay for chronological accounts!
In the last line you might want to substitute impetuous with impetuousness, or i
mpetuosity.]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_author><![CDATA[Kelsey]]></wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>notkelsey@gmail.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Impetuousness?! That's retarded. I'm going with mot
ivation.]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Oh but I like impetuosity!]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>The Male Privilege Checklist</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/the-male-privilege-checklist/</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 03 Mar 2008 23:15:36 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
<category domain="category" nicename="uncategorized"><![CDATA[Un
categorized]]></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.notkelsey.com/blog/the-male-privilege-check
list/</guid>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -
10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidd
en;">1. My odds of being hired for a job, when competing against female applican
ts, are probably skewed in my favor. The more prestigious the job, the larger th
e odds are skewed.</div>
<div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width:
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">2. I can be confident
that my co-workers won't think I got my job because of my sex - even though tha
t might be true.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">3. If I am never prom
oted, it's not because of my sex.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">4. If I fail in my jo
b or career, I can feel sure this won't be seen as a black mark against my entir
e sex's capabilities.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">5. I am far less like
ly to face sexual harassment at work than my female co-workers are.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">6. If I do the same t
ask as a woman, and if the measurement is at all subjective, chances are people
will think I did a better job.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">7. If I'm a teen or a
dult, and if I can stay out of prison, my odds of being raped are relatively low
.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">8. On average, I am t
aught to fear walking alone after dark in average public spaces much less than m
y female counterparts are.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">9. If I choose not to
have children, my masculinity will not be called into question.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">10. If I have childre
n but do not provide primary care for them, my masculinity will not be called in
to question.</div>
n and provide primary care for them, I'll be praised for extraordinary parenting
if I'm even marginally competent.</div>
n and a career, no one will think I'm selfish for not staying at home.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">13. If I seek politic
al office, my relationship with my children, or who I hire to take care of them,
will probably not be scrutinized by the press.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">14. My elected repres
entatives are mostly people of my own sex. The more prestigious and powerful the
elected position, the more this is true.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">15. When I ask to see
â€œthe person in charge,â€ odds are I will face a person of my own sex. The high
er-up in the organization the person is, the surer I can be.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">16. As a child, chanc
es are I was encouraged to be more active and outgoing than my sisters.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">17. As a child, I cou
ld choose from an almost infinite variety of children's media featuring positive
, active, non-stereotyped heroes of my own sex. I never had to look for it; male
protagonists were (and are) the default.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">18. As a child, chanc
es are I got more teacher attention than girls who raised their hands just as of
ten.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">19. If my day, week o
r year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whet
her or not it has sexist overtones.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">20. I can turn on the
television or glance at the front page of the newspaper and see people of my ow
n sex widely represented, every day, without exception.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">21. If I'm careless w
ith my financial affairs it won't be attributed to my sex.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">22. If I'm careless w
ith my driving it won't be attributed to my sex.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">23. I can speak in pu
blic to a large group without putting my sex on trial.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">24. Even if I sleep w
ith a lot of women, there is no chance that I will be seriously labeled a â€œslu
t,â€ nor is there any male counterpart to â€œslut-bashing.â€ </div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">25. I do not have to
worry about the message my wardrobe sends about my sexual availability or my gen
der conformity.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">26. My clothing is ty
pically less expensive and better-constructed than women's clothing for the same
social status. While I have fewer options, my clothes will probably fit better
than a woman's without tailoring.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">27. The grooming regi
men expected of me is relatively cheap and consumes little time.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">28. If I buy a new ca
r, chances are I'll be offered a better price than a woman buying the same car.<
/div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">29. If I'm not conven
tionally attractive, the disadvantages are relatively small and easy to ignore.<
/div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">30. I can be loud wit
h no fear of being called a shrew. I can be aggressive with no fear of being cal
led a bitch.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">31. I can ask for leg
al protection from violence that happens mostly to men without being seen as a s
elfish special interest, since that kind of violence is called â€œcrimeâ€ and is
a general social concern. (Violence that happens mostly to women is usually call
ed â€œdomestic violenceâ€ or â€œacquaintance rape,â€ and is seen as a special inte
rest issue.)</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">32. I can be confiden
t that the ordinary language of day-to-day existence will always include my sex.
â€œAll men are created equal,â€ mailman, chairman, freshman, he.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">33. My ability to mak
e important decisions and my capability in general will never be questioned depe
nding on what time of the month it is.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">34. I will never be e
xpected to change my name upon marriage or questioned if I don't change my name.
</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">35. The decision to h
ire me will never be based on assumptions about whether or not I might choose to
have a family sometime soon.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">36. Every major relig
ion in the world is led primarily by people of my own sex. Even God, in most maj
or religions, is pictured as male.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">37. Most major religi
ons argue that I should be the head of my household, while my wife and children
should be subservient to me.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">38. If I have a wife
or live-in girlfriend, chances are we'll divide up household chores so that she
does most of the labor, and in particular the most repetitive and unrewarding ta
sks.</div>
n with a wife or girlfriend, chances are she'll do most of the childrearing, and
in particular the most dirty, repetitive and unrewarding parts of childrearing.
</div>
n with a wife or girlfriend, and it turns out that one of us needs to make caree
r sacrifices to raise the kids, chances are we'll both assume the career sacrifi
ced should be hers.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">41. Magazines, billbo
ards, television, movies, pornography, and virtually all of media is filled with
images of scantily-clad women intended to appeal to me sexually. Such images of
men exist, but are rarer.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">42. In general, I am
under much less pressure to be thin than my female counterparts are. If I am fat
, I probably suffer fewer social and economic consequences for being fat than fa
t women do.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">43. If I am heterosex
ual, it's incredibly unlikely that I'll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover.<
/div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">44. Complete stranger
s generally do not walk up to me on the street and tell me to â€œsmile.â€ </div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">45. On average, I am
not interrupted by women as often as women are interrupted by men.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">46. I have the privil
ege of being unaware of my male privilege.</div>
1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;">source</div>
1. My odds of being hired for a job, when competing against female applicants, a
re probably skewed in my favor. The more prestigious the job, the larger the odd
s are skewed.
2. I can be confident that my co-workers won't think I got my job because of my
sex - even though that might be true.
3. If I am never promoted, it's not because of my sex.
4. If I fail in my job or career, I can feel sure this won't be seen as a black
mark against my entire sex's capabilities.
5. I am far less likely to face sexual harassment at work than my female co-work
ers are.
6. If I do the same task as a woman, and if the measurement is at all subjective
, chances are people will think I did a better job.
7. If I'm a teen or adult, and if I can stay out of prison, my odds of being rap
ed are relatively low.
8. On average, I am taught to fear walking alone after dark in average public sp
aces much less than my female counterparts are.
9. If I choose not to have children, my masculinity will not be called into ques
tion.
10. If I have children but do not provide primary care for them, my masculinity
will not be called into question.
11. If I have children and provide primary care for them, I'll be praised for ex
traordinary parenting if I'm even marginally competent.
12. If I have children and a career, no one will think I'm selfish for not stayi
ng at home.
13. If I seek political office, my relationship with my children, or who I hire
to take care of them, will probably not be scrutinized by the press.
14. My elected representatives are mostly people of my own sex. The more prestig
ious and powerful the elected position, the more this is true.
15. When I ask to see â€œthe person in charge,â€ odds are I will face a person of
my own sex. The higher-up in the organization the person is, the surer I can be
.
16. As a child, chances are I was encouraged to be more active and outgoing than
my sisters.
17. As a child, I could choose from an almost infinite variety of children's med
ia featuring positive, active, non-stereotyped heroes of my own sex. I never had
to look for it; male protagonists were (and are) the default.
18. As a child, chances are I got more teacher attention than girls who raised t
heir hands just as often.
19. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative epis
ode or situation whether or not it has sexist overtones.
20. I can turn on the television or glance at the front page of the newspaper an
d see people of my own sex widely represented, every day, without exception.
21. If I'm careless with my financial affairs it won't be attributed to my sex.
22. If I'm careless with my driving it won't be attributed to my sex.
23. I can speak in public to a large group without putting my sex on trial.
24. Even if I sleep with a lot of women, there is no chance that I will be serio
usly labeled a slut, nor is there any male counterpart to slut-bashing.
25. I do not have to worry about the message my wardrobe sends about my sexual a
vailability or my gender conformity.
26. My clothing is typically less expensive and better-constructed than women's
clothing for the same social status. While I have fewer options, my clothes will
probably fit better than a woman's without tailoring.
27. The grooming regimen expected of me is relatively cheap and consumes little
time.
28. If I buy a new car, chances are I'll be offered a better price than a woman
buying the same car.
29. If I'm not conventionally attractive, the disadvantages are relatively small
and easy to ignore.
30. I can be loud with no fear of being called a shrew. I can be aggressive with
no fear of being called a bitch.
31. I can ask for legal protection from violence that happens mostly to men with
out being seen as a selfish special interest, since that kind of violence is cal
led crime and is a general social concern. (Violence that happens mostly to wome
n is usually called domestic violence or acquaintance rape, and is seen as a sp
ecial interest issue.)
32. I can be confident that the ordinary language of day-to-day existence will a
lways include my sex. All men are created equal, mailman, chairman, freshman, he
.
33. My ability to make important decisions and my capability in general will nev
er be questioned depending on what time of the month it is.
34. I will never be expected to change my name upon marriage or questioned if I
don't change my name.
35. The decision to hire me will never be based on assumptions about whether or
not I might choose to have a family sometime soon.
36. Every major religion in the world is led primarily by people of my own sex.
Even God, in most major religions, is pictured as male.
37. Most major religions argue that I should be the head of my household, while
my wife and children should be subservient to me.
38. If I have a wife or live-in girlfriend, chances are we'll divide up househol
d chores so that she does most of the labor, and in particular the most repetiti
ve and unrewarding tasks.
39. If I have children with a wife or girlfriend, chances are she'll do most of
the childrearing, and in particular the most dirty, repetitive and unrewarding p
arts of childrearing.
40. If I have children with a wife or girlfriend, and it turns out that one of u
s needs to make career sacrifices to raise the kids, chances are we'll both assu
me the career sacrificed should be hers.
41. Magazines, billboards, television, movies, pornography, and virtually all of
media is filled with images of scantily-clad women intended to appeal to me sex
ually. Such images of men exist, but are rarer.
42. In general, I am under much less pressure to be thin than my female counterp
arts are. If I am fat, I probably suffer fewer social and economic consequences
for being fat than fat women do.
43. If I am heterosexual, it's incredibly unlikely that I'll ever be beaten up b
y a spouse or lover.
44. Complete strangers generally do not walk up to me on the street and tell me
to smile.
45. On average, I am not interrupted by women as often as women are interrupted
by men.
46. I have the privilege of being unaware of my male privilege.
<a href="http://www.amptoons.com/blog/the-male-privilege-checklist/">source</a>]
]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>the-male-privilege-checklist</wp:post_name>
<wp:post_type>page</wp:post_type>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_key>_wp_page_template</wp:meta_key>
<wp:meta_value>default</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>The Trend Away From Feminism</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2008/03/03/the-trend-away-from-feminism/</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 04 Mar 2008 05:02:22 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Writing]]></category>
<category domain="category" nicename="writing"><![CDATA[Writing]
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[feminism]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="feminism"><![CDATA[feminism]]><
/category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.notkelsey.com/blog/2008/03/03/the-trend-awa
y-from-feminism/</guid>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I am an advocate of women's rights on the grounds of p
olitical, social, and economic equality to men. By definition, I am a feminist.
For many, the word <em>feminist</em> conjures up images of bra-burning ceremonie
s, shaved heads, and militant lesbians. Man-haters. "Femi-nazis."
It is of little wonder that women are deterred fromlabelingthemselves as femin
ists. After all, why would any heterosexual want to repel her potential dates? B
usting out the <a href="http://www.notkelsey.com/the-male-privilege-checklist/">
male privilege checklist</a> certainly isn't very attractive. Neither is being s
traightforward, independent, or mildly intelligent: qualities clearly seen in ou
r male counterparts. It's just so... <em>unladylike</em>. Nevertheless, even in
a society where sexualized images of women are often used to sell products, the
concept of treating us like human beings is surprisingly one many people think w
e have covered and should stop complaining about.
But I'm not going to list all of the injustices committed against women today. W
hat I'm really getting at is the absurdity of the commonly held belief that we d
on't need feminism anymore. Apparently, it's been driven to obsoletism through t
he passing of the 19th Amendment and the availability of contraception. This is
why, anti-feminists argue, not every woman is voting for Hillary Clinton. (Never
mind that those women may just <em>disagree</em> with her position on certain is
sues.)
Creating this extremist, heathenish picture of what a feminist is masks the real
fear people have of women making their own decisions. For example, McCain said
he believes doctors who performed abortions should be prosecuted. "But I would n
ot prosecute a woman" who obtained an abortion... because, you know, she was bein
g <em>victimized</em> instead of consciously making the choice to terminate her
pregnancy.
There will always be misandry out there poorly disguised as feminism, but to cal
l all feminists "man-haters" is surely a product of a frightened patriarchal soc
iety.]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>the-trend-away-from-feminism</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>Bjork</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_author><![CDATA[Siobhan]]></wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>siobhanconnors@gmail.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Of course, I completely agree with you. And I pull
out that McCain example ALL the time. ;)]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://</wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I quoted McCain again today in a conversation I was
having with my friend and her jaw dropped.]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>Death's brother, Sleep</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2008/03/11/15/</link>
<category><![CDATA[Musings]]></category>
<category domain="category" nicename="musings"><![CDATA[Musings]
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[dreams]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="dreams"><![CDATA[dreams]]></cat
egory>
<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.notkelsey.com/blog/2008/03/11/15/</guid>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I like to write down my dreams in my personal journal
so I can remember them more clearly and (sometimes) understand how I must have f
elt the night before. It's a habit I've been trying to keep up since around July
2007 thanks to the graphic design class I took at Art Center's <a href="http://
www.artcenter.edu/sat/">Saturday High</a> program for high school students. In o
ur zine project, we were required to include a page recounting a dream we've had
. Richard Linklater's <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0243017/">Waking Life
</a> and Michel Gondry's <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0354899/">The Science
of Sleep</a> are also responsible for my interest in my mind's lunar adventures.
When I was younger, I believed that dreams could be a predictor of things to co
me, but I soon realized that the majority of mine meant hardly anything at all.
Although I can't recall a single recurring dream I've had, many of them share th
e same obstacles. For one, light is always an aspect I'm unable to control. I'm
not exactly a proficient <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucid_dream">luci
d dreamer</a>; however, the few times I've reached a conscious state whilst slee
ping, turning the lights on or off is something I just can't do. Running is also
an activity I have trouble with; I normally find myself swinging my arms forwar
d to get anywhere. But when it comes to walking, I can easily glide or float ove
r the ground. Surprisingly, my flying dreams are <em>utterly boring</em>. They u
sually involve wafting over neighborhoods and cities with no specific goal.Neve
rtheless, I enjoy most of my dreams unless they're the scary kind that cause me
to wake up drenched in sweat :(
"They say that dreams are only real as long as they last. Couldn't you say the s
ame thing about life?"
<strong>Related links</strong>: <a href="http://www.uncommon-knowledge.co.uk/why
_do_we_dream.html">Why do we dream? by Uncommon Knowledge</a>, <a href="http://w
ww.dreams.ca/recall.htm">Dream Recall Techniques</a>, <a href="http://thinkexist
.com/quotations/dreams/">Dreams Quotes</a>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>15</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>Four Tet</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[That quote was the perfect ending ^-^]]></wp:commen
t_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Thank you, good sir!]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>The webcam-stop-motion-thing</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2008/08/06/the-webcam-stop-motion-thing/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 06 Aug 2008 13:30:19 +0000</pubDate>
gory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[animated gifs]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="animated-gifs"><![CDATA[animate
d gifs]]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[Webcam-stop-motion-thing]]></cat
egory>
<category domain="tag" nicename="webcam-stop-motion-thing"><![CD
ATA[Webcam-stop-motion-thing]]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<a href="http://www.piterwilson-toys.com/wcsmt/index.p
hp">This masterpiece</a> has enabled me to waste a lot of time that should be sp
ent working on Not Kelsey. But how could a videocapturingdevice be anything <e
m>but</em> fun?!
Back in the good old days, when I wanted to make animated gifs of my face (obvio
usly a very important task), I would record a Quicktime video in iMovie with my
iSight and import the frames in Adobe Photoshop. From there, I would have to rem
ove every other frame to make sure that the file size wasn't too large to upload
to the internet. However, those days are gone with the introduction of Peter Wi
lson's*<strong>WEBCAM-STOP-MOTION-THING</strong>! Now you don't need any fancy
video software or image editing program to make a hilarious 10-frame animation o
f yourself, just a webcam and some imagination... and a free hand (perhaps a fri
end's?) to press the spacebar.
If this still sounds too complicated, you can lurk<a href="http://www.piterwils
on-toys.com/wcsmt/index.php?recent">recent animations</a> that others have made.
I suggest contributing to the hilarity though ;)
<a title="Webcam Stop Motion Thing by not_kelsey, on Flickr" href="http://www.fl
ickr.com/photos/kelsums/2729007995/"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/31
00/2729007995_f535aa32e2_o.gif" alt="Webcam Stop Motion Thing" width="160" heigh
t="120" /></a> <a title="Webcam Stop Motion Things by not_kelsey, on Flickr" hre
f="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kelsums/2729813136/"><img src="http://farm4.stat
ic.flickr.com/3288/2729813136_44a1981867_o.gif" alt="Webcam Stop Motion Things"
width="160" height="120" /></a>
*The creator appears to use apseudonym,http://www.piterwilson.com/ reveals tha
t his <em>real</em> name is Juan Carlos Ospina Gonzalez.]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>the-webcam-stop-motion-thing</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Haha, thank you :D]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_author><![CDATA[Holly]]></wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>nerdgerl@gmail.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://ianua.us</wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[The cell phone one is genius!]]></wp:comment_conten
t>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Oh my lord, brilliance doth shine before me and wha
tnot.
Amazing, creepy, and hilarious! It's A Scanner Darkly meets Japanese horror meet
s Kelsey, the indefatigable humor of Kelsey.
I sound like a movie critique...
I can't stop watching!
...Seriously I can't stop!]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>Amazon</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2008/08/08/big-brother-is-watching/notkelsey/</li
nk>
<pubDate>Fri, 08 Aug 2008 16:05:45 +0000</pubDate>
<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.notkelsey.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/
08/notkelsey.png</guid>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>notkelsey</wp:post_name>
<wp:status>inherit</wp:status>
<wp:post_type>attachment</wp:post_type>
<wp:attachment_url>http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/08
/notkelsey.png</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_key>_wp_attached_file</wp:meta_key>
<wp:meta_value>/home/.klute/kelsums/notkelsey.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/0
8/notkelsey.png</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_key>_wp_attachment_metadata</wp:meta_key>
<wp:meta_value>a:6:{s:5:"width";i:420;s:6:"height";i:103;s:14:"hwstring_small";s
:23:"height='31' width='128'";s:4:"file";s:80:"/home/.klute/kelsums/notkelsey.co
m/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/notkelsey.png";s:5:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail
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:5:"title";s:0:"";}}</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Wamu</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2008/08/08/big-brother-is-watching/picture-1/</li
nk>
08/picture-1.png</guid>
<wp:post_name>picture-1</wp:post_name>
/picture-1.png</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
8/picture-1.png</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>a:6:{s:5:"width";i:317;s:6:"height";i:98;s:14:"hwstring_small";s:
23:"height='39' width='128'";s:4:"file";s:80:"/home/.klute/kelsums/notkelsey.com
/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/picture-1.png";s:5:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail"
;a:3:{s:4:"file";s:20:"picture-1-150x98.png";s:5:"width";i:150;s:6:"height";i:98
;}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:20:"picture-1-300x92.png";s:5:"width";i:300;s:6
:"height";i:92;}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";i:0;s:6:"credit";s:0:"";
s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";i:0;s:9:"copyr
ight";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length";i:0;s:3:"iso";i:0;s:13:"shutter_speed";i:0;s:5:
"title";s:0:"";}}</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Big brother is watching</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2008/08/08/big-brother-is-watching/</link>
gory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[WaMu]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="wamu"><![CDATA[WaMu]]></categor
y>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I always have to laugh when Washington Mutual or Amazo
n refers to my website. Wamu, however, appears to have an identity crisis wherea
s Amazon simply wants to know more.
<a href="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/picture-1
.png"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-44" title="Wamu" src="http://ww
w.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/picture-1.png" alt="" width
="317" height="98" /></a>
<a href="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/notkelsey
.png"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-43" title="Amazon" src="http://
www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/notkelsey.png" alt="" wid
th="420" height="103" /></a>
Happy 8/08/2008 :)]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>big-brother-is-watching</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://ianua.us</wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Hahaha! Big brother is a tad confused.]]></wp:comme
nt_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>Binary Land</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2008/08/25/binary-land/</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 25 Aug 2008 09:46:48 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
/category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[gender binaries]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="gender-binaries"><![CDATA[gende
r binaries]]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I have a lot of problems imagining myself as a mother
when I'm an adult. While I was certainly a little girl who played with Barbies a
nd enjoyed the color pink, I would probably try exceedingly hard to save my chil
dren from societal gender binaries.
The fact that it's acceptable to publish an <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEA
LTH/family/08/20/parenting.gender/index.html">article</a> about child developmen
t without stating specific studies or which "psychologists at the University of
Cambridge in England" believe that boys like to watch mechanical motion demonstr
ates that a gross majority of people assume that socialized gender roles should
be biological... including a female obsession with fashion and shoes. I will adm
it that of course there are differences between males and females (besides the o
bvious plumbing) that can be observed from birth, but this frightens me.
Is it really possible to raise a child without gendering it? Can you inculcate y
our child with the belief that his or her abilities are not limited to those dee
med appropriate for their sex? The biggest question is: would society allow it?
<strong>Related links</strong>: <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/family/0
8/20/parenting.gender/index.html">The incriminating CNN article</a>, <a href="ht
tp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Binary_Land">Binary Land (NES game referenced)</a>, <
a href="http://www.feministing.com/archives/010578.html">Feministing</a>]]></con
tent:encoded>
<wp:post_name>binary-land</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>Wu-Tang Clan</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Hide genre column in iTunes 8 browser</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2008/09/11/hide-genre-column-in-itunes-8-browser/
</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 11 Sep 2008 19:03:58 +0000</pubDate>
gory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[iTunes]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="itunes"><![CDATA[iTunes]]></cat
egory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[Mac]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="mac"><![CDATA[Mac]]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I was so excited to download the newest update of iTun
es because of the Genius playlist. However, I was angry to discover that they re
moved the option to hide the genre column in the browser! How annoying! I mean,
who in their right mind browses by genre?! Who even tags their albums with a gen
re?
Anyway, I found a solution (Mac only):
1. Open terminal
2. Enter the following command and hit enter:
defaults write com.apple.itunes show-genre-when-browsing -bool FALSE
3. Close and reopen iTunes
To reverse changes, enter this command:
defaults write com.apple.itunes show-genre-when-browsing -bool TRUE
<a href="http://www.tech-recipes.com/rx/3029/itunes_8_how_to_remove_genre_browse
r_view_os_x">Source</a>
Other observations:
<ul>
<li>Apple can't seem to make up their mind about whether bands starting
with numbers or symbols should appear first or last in the alphabetical artist's
list.</li>
<li>I haven't met a single person with more than 10GB of music who brows
es their library by album artwork.</li>
<li>The Genius playlist looks awesome (I haven't tried it out yet), but
a sidebar? Really? As if the left sidebar doesn't take up enough room as it is..
.</li>
</ul>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>hide-genre-column-in-itunes-8-browser</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Oh man thank you! That was bothering me.]]></wp:com
ment_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>Font</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/02/04/yourfontscom/font/</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 05 Feb 2009 06:28:15 +0000</pubDate>
02/font.gif</guid>
<wp:post_name>font</wp:post_name>
/font.gif</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
2/font.gif</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>a:6:{s:5:"width";i:264;s:6:"height";i:106;s:14:"hwstring_small";s
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m/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/font.gif";s:5:"sizes";a:1:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3
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</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Yourfonts.com</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/02/04/yourfontscom/</link>
gory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[font]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="font"><![CDATA[font]]></categor
y>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I've always wanted to make my own font but didn't want
to deal with complicated (and often expensive) programs. Which is why I LOVE <a
href="http://www.yourfonts.com/">THIS WEBSITE</a>. After I scanned in a templat
e, it created my own personalized font based on my handwriting. Nifty!
<img src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/font.gif
" alt="" title="Font" width="264" height="106" class="aligncenter size-medium wp
-image-103" />
]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>yourfontscom</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Playlist Cover</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/04/13/c-c-c-c-c-cocaine/playlistcover-1/</li
nk>
<pubDate>Tue, 14 Apr 2009 07:16:16 +0000</pubDate>
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<wp:post_name>playlistcover-1</wp:post_name>
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g";s:5:"sizes";a:1:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:27:"playlistcover-1-150x15
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<wp:postmeta>
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</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>C-c-c-c-c-cocaine</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/04/13/c-c-c-c-c-cocaine/</link>
<category><![CDATA[Music]]></category>
<category domain="category" nicename="music"><![CDATA[Music]]></
category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[playlists]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="playlists"><![CDATA[playlists]]
></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I spend an unhealthy amount of time making playlists.
I won't even burn them onto CDs or listen to them in theirentiretyafter I've
finished them, but my playlists are <em>serious business.</em> Perhaps I just ge
t a kick out of absurd themes.
For the last few months, I've been compiling tracks for my "songs that make me f
eel like a recovering drug addict" playlist. Unfortunately, iTunes' Genius featu
re does not exactly aid me in this endeavor, so I tend to add to the list once I
come across music that would work during casual listening. It got a little comp
licated when I made the decision to include songs that have lyrics that <em>do n
ot </em>necessarily refer to addiction or drugs.
<img src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/playlist
cover-1.png" alt="Playlist Cover" title="Playlist Cover" width="300" height="300
" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-165" />
Anyway, here's what I have so far:

"Whom Did You Expect" - Alice in Wonderland OST
"Feel Good Hit Of The Summer" - Queens of the Stone Age
"Bring Me Back A Dog" - IAMX
"Your Sweet Love (Featuring Alison Shaw)" - Trash Palace
"Haemoglobin" - Placebo
"Eye" - Smashing Pumpkins
"6 Underground" - Sneaker Pimps
"Lunch Hour Pops" - Broadcast
"Black Yogurt (With Mike Watt)" - Black Moth Super Rainbow
"Nylon Smile" - Portishead
"Naked But Safe" - IAMX
"Reach For Your Lives" - Bogdan Raczynski
"What Have My Chickens Done Now?" - The Residents
"Spiracle" - Black Moth Super Rainbow
"Mutilated Lips" - Ween
"Drink You Pretty" - Placebo
"Helsabot" - Ten In The Swear Jar
"Parade" - Paprika OST
"Requiem For A Jerk (Requiem Pour Un Con)" - Faultline, Brian Molko & Franço
ise Hardy
"The Happy Sea" - Colleen
"High Speed Zombie Chase" - Rotator
"Ominous Cloud" - Broadcast
"Rain" - Tones on Tail
"Coattails of a Dead Man" - Tom Waits & Primus
"America's Boy" - Broadcast
"Neon Rocks" - Calvin Harris
"Push Th' Little Daisies" - Ween
It'll be interesting to see how many songs I hate after I'm satisfied with editi
ng it ;)]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>c-c-c-c-c-cocaine</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>Placebo</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>About</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/about/</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 25 Jun 2009 21:03:00 +0000</pubDate>
<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.notkelsey.com/?page_id=183</guid>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<a href="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content
/uploads/2010/02/zombie.gif"><img class="size-full wp-image-645" title="zombie"
src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/zombie.gif" a
lt="" width="155" height="123" /></a>
Hello! My name is Kelsey and I am <del>the sum total of all of my life's experie
nces</del>. <del>an enigma</del>. a 20-year-old from Los Angeles, California. My
interests include reading, writing, film, photography, graphic design, web desi
gn, and general creativity (although I regret skipping the angsty poetry-writing
phase that comes with being 13 years old). I love teh internets.
<h2>Favorite Movies</h2>
<em>12 Monkeys, Amelie, American History X, Battle Royale, Blue Velvet, Boondock
Saints, Brazil, Breathless, Citizen Kane, Contempt, Dark City, Dead Ringers, E
astern Promises, The Elephant Man, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, eXiste
nZ, The Fifth Element, Fight Club, The Fly, Full Metal Jacket, Hook, Inglourious
Basterds, Inland Empire, Kill Bill, Lost Highway, Love and Death, My Neighbor T
otoro, Man Bites Dog, Mulholland Dr., Nightmare Before Christmas, Oldboy, Pi, Pi
errot Le Fou, Princess Monoke, Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, The Royal Tenenbaum
s, Rushmore, The Science of Sleep, Se7en, Singin' in the Rain, Slacker, Sleeper,
Star Wars (but only IV, V, and VI), The Sword in the Stone, Sympathy for Lady V
engeance, Take the Money and Run, The Thief and the Cobbler, Three...Extremes, W
aking Life,</em> etc.
<strong> Favorite directors</strong>: Wes Anderson, David Cronenberg, Stanley Do
nen, Jean-Luc Godard, Michel Gondry, Stanley Kubrick, Richard Linklater, David L
ynch, Hayao Miyazaki, Quentin Tarantino, etc.
<h2>Favorite Books</h2>
<em>A Clockwork Orange</em> by Anthony Burgess,<em> Less Than Zero / American Ps
ycho</em> by Brett Easton Ellis, <em>Siddhartha</em> by Hermann Hesse, <em>1984<
/em> by George Orwell, <em>A Wild Sheep Chase</em> by Haruki Murakami, <em>Lulla
by</em> by Chuck Palahniuk, <em>Anthem</em> by Ayn Rand, <em>Frankenstein</em> b
y Mary Shelley, etc.
<h2>Favorite TV Shows</h2>
30 Rock, Arrested Development, Futurama, Invader Zim, The Mighty Boosh, The Offi
ce (US), Rocko's Modern Life, Samurai Jack, True Blood, Twin Peaks, Unwrapped, W
eeds, and most everything on The Food Network.]]></content:encoded>
<wp:comment_status>closed</wp:comment_status>
<wp:post_name>about</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>email</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/about/email/</link>
<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.notkelsey.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/em
ail.png</guid>
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<wp:postmeta>
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mall";s:23:"height='17' width='128'";s:4:"file";s:17:"2009/06/email.png";s:5:"si
zes";a:1:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:16:"email-150x21.png";s:5:"width";s:
3:"150";s:6:"height";s:2:"21";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s
:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timest
amp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0
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</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/not-kelsey/</link>
<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.notkelsey.com/?page_id=192</guid>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<em>Not Kelsey</em> was registered on February 24, 200
7 at Yahoo! Domains but has since been moved to Dreamhost. It's called <em>Not K
elsey</em> simply because it is not me, it is a website. You're not missing out
on any profound subtext. I merely wanted a domain name that would always be rele
vant to my interests :D
I use Taco HTML Edit for all my coding needs, Adobe Photoshop for layout graphic
s, and Cyberduck for my FTP client. If you would like to take a gander at what <
em>Not Kelsey</em> used to look like, click <a href="http://www.notkelsey.com/ol
d">here</a>.]]></content:encoded>
<wp:comment_status>closed</wp:comment_status>
<wp:post_name>not-kelsey</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Only death will kill me</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/08/16/only-death-will-kill-me/</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 17 Aug 2009 02:24:02 +0000</pubDate>
gory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[Not Kelsey]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="not-kelsey"><![CDATA[Not Kelsey
]]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[Wordpress]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="wordpress"><![CDATA[Wordpress]]
></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.notkelsey.com/?p=272</guid>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Although it may not look like it, I gave <em>Not Kelse
y</em> a <strong>complete overhaul</strong>. I learned how to convert my layout
into a Wordpress template rather than begrudgingly "integrate" the bloated blog
software with my design and cleared out old entries that didn't seem to contribu
te... well, much of anything :D <del>It only took me a few nights and a few too
many headaches to figure it all out.</del>
In the meantime, keep me in your bookmarks! I'm excited to work on my website ag
ain, especially since adding content to it should be <em>considerably</em> less
difficult now.]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>only-death-will-kill-me</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Dark, air conditioned rooms</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/08/17/dark-air-conditioned-rooms/</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 18 Aug 2009 06:38:32 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[TV & Movies]]></category>
<category domain="category" nicename="tv-movies"><![CDATA[TV &am
p; Movies]]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[summer movies]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="summer-movies"><![CDATA[summer
movies]]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[Up]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="up"><![CDATA[Up]]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I've been pleasantly surprised by the movies I've seen
this summer. Normally, this season marks the annual release of a slew of teen s
lasher flicks, comedies starring random actors from "The Office", and others tha
t just don't stand the test of time, but at the moment I can't say I've regrette
d seeing any of the following in theaters.
<h3>Up</h3>
(<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1049413/">IMDB profile</a>)
Alright, so this one is old news, but I didn't have the pleasure of seeing it un
til mid-June. Pixar movies such as <em>Toy Story</em>, <em>A Bug's Life</em>, an
d <em>Wall-E</em> are chock-full of cute characters and happy, fuzzy story lines
. <em>Up</em>, on the other hand, not only stars an old man, but deals with incr
edibly adult themes. Within the first 15 minutes it had me crying, and I'm willi
ng to say that it is an excellent movie based solely on the fact that it's prove
d to be a powerful tearjerker. While I agree that its conclusion is hopeful, I c
an't help dwelling on the poor man's misfortune in the beginning of the story! W
ell done, <em>Pixar</em>, well done. Don't let those Disney bastards take all th
e credit.
<h3>(500) Days of Summer</h3>
Knowing that Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel star in this film should a
lready cue you in on its obvious indie appeal. That, and its killer soundtrack.
I'll admit that the tagline "This is not a love story" is a bit cheesy and clic
he, as is the protagonist's unfulfilled dream of being an architect, but I can't
help *squeeing* at how ridiculously adorable the movie portrays offbeat romance
. In addition, it certainly paints a lovely picture of Los Angeles through uncon
ventional shots of the city that reveal an ignored urban beauty. It's fairly obv
ious that Marc Webb's directing experience lies in music videos, but in this cas
e, the foregrounded soundtrack aids <em>(500)</em>'s equally charming shots.
<h3>Ponyo</h3>
<em>Gake no ue no Ponyo</em> or just <em>Ponyo</em> is the latest feature direct
ed by Japanese animator Hayao Miyazaki. <em>My Neighbor Totoro</em> and <em>Prin
cess Monoke</em> have always been favorite movies of mine, so it's clear that I
was excited to see this on the day of its release. I thought the premise was ado
rable and I especially enjoyed the underwater scenes and ancient fish, however i
t struck me as somewhat sloppy by Miyazaki standards. It was stylized much diffe
rently than his other movies in that its backgrounds were very pronounced, grain
y colored pencil illustrations. Unfortunately, I do not think that graininess lo
oks good on the big screen. Moreover, the English dubbing was pretty atrocious,
but I tried to suspend my judgment best I could seeing as that's not Miyazaki's
fault. Nevertheless, I enjoyed watching <em>Ponyo</em> and let its fanciful (alb
eit simple) storyline entertain the kid in me.
<h3>District 9</h3>
<em>District 9</em> was the inspiration for this post because I believe that it
demonstrated how cinéma-vérité <em>should</em> be executed. The shaky camera was
hardly vomit-inducing and much easier to see it handled by someone who wasn't a
n obnoxious teenager (I'm looking at you, <em>Cloverfield</em>...) I thought Sha
rlto Copley's character was extremely convincing and multi-dimensional unlike ty
pical heros/villains. (It was an impressive performance for his first acting gig
!) The movie runs for almost two hours, but the plot progresses rather quickly a
nd I feel that most of the action sequences had a precise purpose. My father com
mented that it had very obvious parallels to the conflicts of South Africa, but
I'm choosing to ignore them for the sake of the movie's ability to stand on its
own. I feel that <em>District 9</em> lived up to its sensational viral marketing
and I'm glad I had the chance to see it as a screening!
I hope that these past few months are an indicator of what's due for the rest of
2009 in the entertainment world because "sunk cost" is surely a concept nobody
wants to be familiar with in this economy.]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>dark-air-conditioned-rooms</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<em>District 9</em> has a lot of plot holes if you
over analyze it, but you can't expect a movie about <em>aliens</em> to be 100% l
ogical. <em>The Perfect Getaway</em> doesn't seem like a movie I'd enjoy seeing,
but thank you for the suggestion! I always thought the <em>Final Destination</e
m> movies were pretty hilarious :P]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_author><![CDATA[jetice]]></wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>jeticeboi@gmail.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://jetice.ipeedalittle.com/</wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Up was hilarious... thats the only movie out of you
r line up that I have seen. I do however want to see that District 9 movie.. but
i am getting mixed reviews. I recommend seeing The Perfect Getaway... it was an
awesome movie! Also look forward to The Final Destination.]]></wp:comment_conte
nt>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_author><![CDATA[Patty]]></wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>twinklexme71@gmail.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://myspace.com/thegirlnamedpatty</wp:comment_author_u
rl>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[agree, up was an amazing movie. i've yet to see 500
days of summer, but it's on my list. ponyo didn't really catch my attention and
district 9 didn't either, but everyone but 1 said it was good so i gave it a sh
ot and couldn't stand it. i only watched the first 30 minutes. however i did wat
ch the perfect getaway and thought it was kinda lame (unexpected though) so you'
re not missing out on anything. nothing good is opening up this weekend except f
or inglourious basterds. ehhh?? should be good :D]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I actually saw <em>Inglourious Basterds</em> last n
ight! It was awesome and hilarious and gory, basically everything you would expe
ct from a Tarantino film. However, it was l-o-n-g! I went to a 10:10pm showing a
nd got out of the theater at 1am :O]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_author><![CDATA[Troy]]></wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Why must they make movies so long? Oh, but I can't
wait to see Inglorious Bastards.]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[You spelled that incorrectly ;)]]></wp:comment_cont
ent>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
rl>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[i just watched it. the gore was pretty good, but it
's basically foreign-language film which i thought sucked.]]></wp:comment_conten
t>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[What do you think sucked about it?]]></wp:comment_c
ontent>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>monsterbug</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/?attachment_id=319</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 27 Aug 2009 22:55:25 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
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<title>sketches</title>
]></category>
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<item>
<title>girlzombie</title>
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</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Artwork</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/08/27/artwork/</link>
<category><![CDATA[Art]]></category>
<category domain="category" nicename="art"><![CDATA[Art]]></cate
gory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[sketchbook]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="sketchbook"><![CDATA[sketchbook
]]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: left;">I promised myself that I'
d post my artwork, so here are some randoms from my squared Moleskine notebook.
Click for full-size.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-co
ntent/uploads/2009/08/girlzombie.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-ima
ge-321" src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/girlz
ombie-300x238.jpg" alt="girlzombie" width="300" height="238" /></a>Faber-Castell
pitt artist pens, watercolor pencils</p>
ntent/uploads/2009/08/monsterbug.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-ima
ge-319" src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/monst
erbug-300x240.jpg" alt="monsterbug" width="300" height="240" /></a> Faber-Castel
l pitt artist pens, colored pencils</p>
ntent/uploads/2009/08/sketches.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image
-320" src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/sketche
s-300x238.jpg" alt="sketches" width="300" height="238" /></a> Inspired by Joseph
Clement Coll illustrations, fountain pen
(I <em>hate</em> the one on the bottom right, so please pretend it's not there.)
</p><p style="text-align: left;">It's fairly obvious that I'm still learning, bu
t any comments are appreciated! :)</p>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>artwork</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_author><![CDATA[tessie]]></wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>burn.this.down@gmail.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[i miss watching you draw during class :(]]></wp:com
ment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_author><![CDATA[Margot]]></wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>mgandy@ucsc.edu</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[You have a great style that's very distinct to your
rather unique personality. :D I really love the third drawings in particular th
ough! Each face has his or her own story to tell, it's quite riveting actually.
You need to give yourself more credit. It's obvious the talent is there. Keep up
the awesome work!]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Aw thank you, Margot!]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_author><![CDATA[jetice]]></wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>jeticeboi@gmail.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://jetice.ipeedalittle.com/</wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Those are really nice :) I like the first one the m
ost.. she looks creepy.. yet innocent to life :) Keep up the good work its very
interesting and creative! I wish I could draw... ugh ... i lost that talent long
ago :(]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Thanks! I'm sure you didn't lose any talent, you ju
st have to get back into the swing of things :)]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Aw haha <3]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>cinnamoroll</title>
<pubDate>Tue, 08 Sep 2009 01:19:15 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
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<wp:post_name>cinnamoroll</wp:post_name>
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<item>
<title>cole haan</title>
]></category>
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<wp:post_name>cole-haan</wp:post_name>
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</wp:postmeta>
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<wp:meta_value>2009/09/cole-haan.jpg</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>bcbg</title>
]></category>
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<wp:post_name>bcbg</wp:post_name>
/bcbg.jpg</wp:attachment_url>
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</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2009/09/bcbg.jpg</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>converse</title>
]></category>
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<wp:post_name>converse</wp:post_name>
/converse.jpg</wp:attachment_url>
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</wp:postmeta>
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</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>steve madden</title>
]></category>
2009/09/steve-madden.jpg</guid>
<wp:post_name>steve-madden</wp:post_name>
/steve-madden.jpg</wp:attachment_url>
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</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>K200N_yellow2</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/09/16/toy-cameras/k200n_yellow2/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 16 Sep 2009 22:21:53 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
2009/09/K200N_yellow2.jpg</guid>
<wp:post_name>k200n_yellow2</wp:post_name>
/K200N_yellow2.jpg</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2009/09/K200N_yellow2.jpg</wp:meta_value>
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</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Toy Cameras</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/09/16/toy-cameras/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 16 Sep 2009 22:30:32 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Photography]]></category>
<category domain="category" nicename="photography"><![CDATA[Phot
ography]]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[Holga K200N]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="holga-k200n"><![CDATA[Holga K20
0N]]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[toy cameras]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="toy-cameras"><![CDATA[toy camer
as]]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[My sister graciously picked up this Holga K200N camera
(with fisheye lens and flash filters!) for me at Urban Outfitters because it wa
s on sale for $20.
<a href="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/K200N_yel
low2.jpg"><img src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/0
9/K200N_yellow2-300x225.jpg" alt="K200N_yellow2" title="K200N_yellow2" width="30
0" height="225" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-352" /></a>
I'm somewhat familiar with <a href="http://lomography.com/">Lomography</a> camer
as, as I also own the Holga 135BC (BC stands for "black corners"). However, the
only roll of film I've ever shot on that camera came out blank when I got it dev
eloped at Long's drugs :( This time, I was a bit luckier with the K200N and succ
essfully ended up with a few interesting photographs.
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kelsums/3927071368/" title="Untitled by ke
lsums, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2600/3927071368_f5748
138c8.jpg" width="500" height="332" alt="" class="aligncenter" /></a>
lsums, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2584/3927070688_bf2b1
74fac.jpg" width="500" height="332" alt="" class="aligncenter" /></a>
lsums, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2545/3927069312_94f82
0f33d.jpg" width="500" height="332" alt="" class="aligncenter" /></a>
lsums, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2610/3926285329_b7f2f
b11e6.jpg" width="500" height="332" alt="" class="aligncenter" /></a>
lsums, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2662/3927066386_36d26
b54da.jpg" width="500" height="332" alt="" class="aligncenter" /></a>
It's a fixed focus lens, so quite a few of them came out blurry, but I'm overall
satisfied with my first go. Toy cameras are fun; nevertheless, I do not underst
and why people will drop more than $20 on them. That plus the cost of film and p
rocessing certainly adds up! I mean, if you're going to spend that much, at leas
t get a camera that has a <em>real viewfinder</em>...]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>toy-cameras</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
rl>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[ps - nice shots. i like the first and the third. bt
w, why'd you delete your flickr?]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
rl>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[20 bucks?!? holy shit... i gotta go to urban outfit
ters!]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Thank you! But I didn't delete my Flickr :O Here's
the URL: http://www.flickr.com/photos/kelsums/]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>My apartment! </title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/09/22/my-apartment/</link>
<category><![CDATA[College]]></category>
<category domain="category" nicename="college"><![CDATA[College]
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[Porter apartment]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="porter-apartment"><![CDATA[Port
er apartment]]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I moved back to university on the 19th and settled int
o my new on-campus apartment and could not be happier with my room's set up. Tha
nkfully, my roommates are all people I was already friends with, so we haven't h
ad any bitchfits yet.
I don't own a lot of posters so everything hanging on my wall is stuff I had fro
m last year. I didn't want to wait to get more decorations before taking picture
s of the place and it also gave me a chance to try out the camera flash Troy (my
boyfriend) let me borrow. It's a Sunpak Autozoom 333, so do not be fooled by th
ese pictures' "natural lighting"; my room isn't actually that bright!
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kelsums/3942416163/" title="View from the
door by kelsums, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2566/394241
6163_5658e532a4.jpg" width="500" height="333" alt="View from the door" class="al
igncenter" /></a>

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kelsums/3942416043/" title="Dresser / Desk
by kelsums, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3473/3942416043
_332fc7cc0c.jpg" width="500" height="333" alt="Dresser / Desk" class="aligncente
r" /></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kelsums/3943194334/" title="Bookshelf by k
elsums, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2648/3943194334_399b
05b407.jpg" width="500" height="333" alt="Bookshelf" class="aligncenter" /></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kelsums/3943193898/" title="Closet by kels
ums, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2624/3943193898_30f3252
c9c.jpg" width="500" height="333" alt="Closet" class="aligncenter" /></a>
My favorite part: this is what I see when I look out my window!
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kelsums/3942414627/" title="View from the
room by kelsums, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2433/394241
4627_99554493b1.jpg" width="500" height="333" alt="View from the room" class="al
igncenter" /></a>
You can view the rest of the pictures <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kels
ums/sets/72157622428689750/">here</a>. Pictures of last year's dorm room can be
found <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kelsums/sets/72157607413086755/">her
e</a>.]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>my-apartment</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_author><![CDATA[Alyssa]]></wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>alyssa@alyssabyoung.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://inthewabe.wordpress.com</wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[At first I thought the view out your window was a p
oster. So pretty! And that flash looks great--I normally avoid flash because I
hate the way it looks]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://hollyerthanthou.com</wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I wish I had your room!]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I hate how my built-in flash looks (on my Canon Reb
el XSi) because it gives everything obviously false shadows.]]></wp:comment_cont
ent>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I want to see what your dorm looks like!]]></wp:com
ment_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>In which I unmask my true silver tongue</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/09/24/in-which-i-unmask-my-true-silver-tongu
e/</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 24 Sep 2009 18:03:05 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[Porter apartment]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="porter-apartment"><![CDATA[Port
er apartment]]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[Team Bacon]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="team-bacon"><![CDATA[Team Bacon
]]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Living in the apartment has been pretty sweet thus far
. Our refrigerator wasn't working but the housing office replaced it with someon
e else's (I think one of the CREs?), so it might be switched with one they order
ed in the future. Whatevskis.
It's taking me a while to get used to the loft bed though! I video chatted with
Troy last night (cue someone asking me if we were naked [no]) and he cracked up
when he saw me struggling to hop up on my mattress. Thankfully, I'm not the ty
pe of person to fall off of my bed. However, I do feel a little strange when I s
ee my stuffed animals on the floor in the morning... it has everything to do wit
h the fact that they have faces, I'm sure.
I guess I'm going to make a more concerted effort to write more entries, but thi
s also means that they'll get a bit more personal. I was getting a little annoye
d with my overly optimistic posts. I suppose I was worried that my writing neede
d to appeal to every visitor? It also makes for some boring ass shit. In any cas
e, I don't know how to finish this sentence.
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=23876909072">The whole place smel
ls like bacon.</a> ]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>in-which-i-unmask-my-true-silver-tongue</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Sammy the Slug</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/09/28/trinken-sie-bier/sammy/</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 28 Sep 2009 19:54:46 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
2009/09/sammy.jpg</guid>
<wp:post_name>sammy</wp:post_name>
/sammy.jpg</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2009/09/sammy.jpg</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
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:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:17:"sammy-300x28
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</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Trinken Sie bier?</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/09/28/trinken-sie-bier/</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 28 Sep 2009 20:02:13 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[classes]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="classes"><![CDATA[classes]]></c
ategory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[German]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="german"><![CDATA[German]]></cat
egory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[My schedule this fall quarter leaves a lot to be desir
ed. Namely, waking up <em>after</em> 8AM. Textbooks also cost over $400 this tim
e, which certainly encourages me to sell them back towards the end of classes. H
owever, I am already enjoying my German I class after only two sessions. My prof
essor is adamant in reviewing everything we've learned before moving on, which i
s a huuuge plus. My Spanish teachers in high school had this nasty habit of teac
hing us terms, forgetting about them, and then testing us on them weeks later. T
his is not to say that my German class doesn't make me feel like I'm still in hi
gh school though! The class size is fairly small and I'm pretty sure that it is
comprised of a lot of freshmen. I asked my friend Margot if she thought our clas
smates were younger than us, to which she responded, "Well they have that deer-i
n-the-headlights look..."
It's amusing to compare my time here to last year because the first day of class
es as a freshman nearly gave me a heart attack. Now my friends and I act like we
own the place, despite still being totally clueless about a lot of things.
<img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-380" title="Sammy the Slug" src="ht
tp://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/sammy-300x288.jpg" a
lt="Sammy the Slug" width="300" height="288" />
<p style="text-align: center;"><small><a href="http://www.metroactive.com/papers
/cruz/09.21.05/intro-0538.html">image source</a></small></p>]]></content:encoded
>
<wp:post_name>trinken-sie-bier</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Moses suposes his toeses are roses</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/09/29/moses-suposes-his-toeses-are-roses/</l
ink>
]></category>
ategory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[insomnia]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="insomnia"><![CDATA[insomnia]]><
/category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Oh dear, it seems that I'm already behind in a few of
my classes due to lengthy reading assignments. I forgot how easily they creep up
during the first week like when you finally notice a spider crawling up your ar
m after ignoring the telltale tickling sensation. Except instead of a spider, it
's a big freaking pile of dry analyses and instead of a ticking sensation, it's
a syllabus you shoved at the bottom of your backpack.
Once again, I am suffering a sporadic sleeping schedule. I could be like every o
ther college student and claim insomnia, but I know that's not hip anymore. Find
me an insomniac who exercises proper time management or doesn't live with a bun
ch of noisy teenagers, and then we'll talk about how you're a big fat liar.
Today I attended my first film class discussion section. We sat around a table a
nd introduced ourselves by stating our favorite movies. I don't have one, of cou
rse, and said that the last thing I rented from Netflix was <em>Dark City</em>.
The person sitting next to me said that his favorite movie was <em>Bruce Almight
y</em>, so I figured anything that came out of my superior mouth would sound bet
ter by comparison. These self-congratulatory sentiments distracted the Smart Par
t of my brain and I tripped over my words and explained that I liked <em>Dark Ci
ty</em> because it was "strange and stuff". Oops. Anyway, the rest of the class
was devoted to analyzing the crap out of <em>Singin' in the Rain</em> because we
all know that audiences appreciate its complicated symbolism, provocative love
story, and color parallels rather than its happy dance numbers. Buhhhhhh.]]></co
ntent:encoded>
<wp:post_name>moses-suposes-his-toeses-are-roses</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[You should have a snarky bit in a magazine, it'd be
the first magazine I'll have a subscription to!]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[You're sweet :)]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>doodle</title>
<pubDate>Wed, 07 Oct 2009 19:33:07 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
2009/10/doodle.gif</guid>
<wp:post_name>doodle</wp:post_name>
/doodle.gif</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
small";s:23:"height='96' width='108'";s:4:"file";s:18:"2009/10/doodle.gif";s:5:"
sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:18:"doodle-150x150.gif";s:5:"width
";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:18:"doodle-30
0x264.gif";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"264";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10
:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s
:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length
";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}}</
wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2009/10/doodle.gif</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>A doodle</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/10/07/a-doodle/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 07 Oct 2009 19:36:31 +0000</pubDate>
gory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[doodles]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="doodles"><![CDATA[doodles]]></c
ategory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-392" titl
e="doodle" src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/do
odle-300x264.gif" alt="doodle" width="300" height="264" />
I obviously haven't diversified my drawing style since 2007, at least when it co
mes to classroom doodles.]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>a-doodle</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>smart</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/10/08/how-to-sound-smart/smart/</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 08 Oct 2009 17:39:14 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
2009/10/smart.gif</guid>
<wp:post_name>smart</wp:post_name>
/smart.gif</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2009/10/smart.gif</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>a:5:{s:5:"width";s:3:"117";s:6:"height";s:2:"67";s:14:"hwstring_s
mall";s:23:"height='67' width='117'";s:4:"file";s:17:"2009/10/smart.gif";s:10:"i
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>How to sound smart</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/10/08/how-to-sound-smart/</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 08 Oct 2009 17:40:58 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[advice]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="advice"><![CDATA[advice]]></cat
egory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[nostalgia]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="nostalgia"><![CDATA[nostalgia]]
></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[satire]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="satire"><![CDATA[satire]]></cat
egory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[This is a [satirical] article I wrote a few years ago
when I first created content for my website. I didn't want it to get lost amongs
t the sea of my old projects, so I'm posting it again for nostalgia's sake.
<hr /><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-404" title="smart" src="http://ww
w.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/smart.gif" alt="smart" widt
h="117" height="67" />Let's face it. There are times when you need to demonstrat
e your knowledge about stuff, things, and stuff about things... even when you ar
e not in the confines of a purely academic environment.
The first step, of course, is to replace commonly used words with unconventional
(or even better, <em>multisyllabic</em>) ones. Although the idea you are trying
to express might be simple, the way in which you say it should be ridiculously
elaborate. Below, you will find several examples.
Instead of saying <strong>GOOD</strong>, say: superior, righteous, exceptional,
proficient, masterly, glorious, suitable, felicitous, upstanding, exemplary, fan
tastic.
Instead of saying <strong>BAD</strong>, say: fallacious, erroneous, flawed, unfo
unded, uncorroborated, substandard, inadequate, ineffectual, atrocious, detrimen
tal, deleterious, unwholesome.
Instead of saying <strong>YES</strong>, say: all right, very well, of course, by
all means, sure, certainly, absolutely, indeed, affirmative, agreed.
Instead of saying <strong>NO</strong>, say: absolutely not, most certainly not,
under no circumstances, by no means, not at all, negative, never.
Once you get the hang of abandoning primitive terms, you may successfully gradua
te to picking up 300 pound expressions and amalgamating them with your regular s
peech. Smart people spend most of their time insulting those with an inferior in
tellect, so it's helpful to learn higher-ranking abusive remarks before moving o
n to discussions about Hemingway and Victorian architecture. Keep reading for a
paradigm.
By using an unorthodox phrase, your insultee will be completely oblivious to you
r slander. Familiarize yourself with these babies:
<blockquote><strong>ALEATORY</strong> (adj.) - relating to good or bad luck and
especially the risks of bad luck.
<strong>AMENTIA</strong> (n.) - mental deficiency, especially resulting from a p
rimary lack of development of intellectual capacity.
<strong>BRUXOMANIA</strong> (n.) - the act or practice of griding one's teeth.
<strong>COSTIVE</strong> (adj.) - constipated or causing constipation; slow or s
tiff in action or expression; sluggish.
<strong>HYPNOPOMPIC</strong> (adj.) - dispelling sleep; pertaining to the fuzzy,
semiconscious state between sleep and wakefulness.
<strong>PANGLOSSIAN</strong> (adj.) - blindly or naively optimistic.
(If you've read <em>Candide</em> [most smart people have or pretend to have], yo
u probably understood this word before you read the definition.)
<strong>RHINOPHONIA</strong> (n.) - extreme nasal sound in the voice.
<strong>VESPINE</strong> (adj.) - of, relating to, characteristic of, or resembl
ing wasps.</blockquote>
(If you want more overly eloquent words for everyday things, I suggest you purch
ase a copy of <em>The Gilded Tongue</em> by Rod L. Evans, PH.D.)
Along with archaic words, smart people like obscure references. The lesser known
, the better. This is one of few things that work in your favor. If you have a h
ard time coming up with a name of an artist or author, make one up! Lord Barling
ton of Worcester is a good one. Artsy-fartsy movies normally have stupid titles
because it's their minimal nature that makes the story so profound. Just remembe
r that there are so many archetypes that one can follow. (Learn more about those
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archetype">here</a>.) Go along with whate
ver the other party is saying. Nod your head and stroke your (invisible) beard.
Gesticulating a whole bunch will give others the impression that what you are th
inking surpasses words.
If all else fails, throw in a few "indeeds" and "quites" for good measure and cl
aim insanity. Eccentricity is almost as interesting as being astute.]]></content
:encoded>
<wp:post_name>how-to-sound-smart</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Meow</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/10/18/meow/</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 19 Oct 2009 05:26:40 +0000</pubDate>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[Halloween]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="halloween"><![CDATA[Halloween]]
></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[Team Bacon]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="team-bacon"><![CDATA[Team Bacon
]]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I bought some baby pumpkins at Trader Joe's today and
drew faces on them with a permanent marker since they're too small to carve. I'm
not really into holiday decorations, but it's fun to see the pumpkins sitting o
n my windowsill. I plan to procure some Christmas lights in December so that I c
an further liven up my room.
<a title=":3 by kelsums, on Flickr" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kelsums/4
024618660/"><img class="aligncenter" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3548/40
24618660_925c39f5ef.jpg" alt=":3" width="500" height="333" /></a>
My friend Margot and I also had an official, albeit spur-of-the-moment, <a href=
"http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=23876909072">Team Bacon</a> meeting on Sa
turday at 2AM. I made sure to document the experience.
<a title="Team Bacon by kelsums, on Flickr" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/k
elsums/4020951984/"><img class="aligncenter" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com
/2797/4020951984_f7f4fef4c7.jpg" alt="Team Bacon" width="500" height="333" /></a
>
<p style="text-align: center;"><em>It's important to note here that the toast ha
s been fried in bacon fat.</em></p>
Unfortunately, our refrigerator has appeared to stop working again. This is the
<strong>third</strong> time this has happened, so my roommates and I are all pre
tty sick of having our groceries spoiled. It must have something to do with our
power outlet and not the <em>brand new</em> unit they gave us. Sigh!]]></content
:encoded>
<wp:post_name>meow</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>Tones on Tail</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I think HTML may be disabled in my comments. Thanks
for the link though, those envelopes are both hilarious and disgusting :P]]></w
p:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://www.myspace.com/thegirlnamedpatty</wp:comment_auth
or_url>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[links don't work?
third time's a charm: http://www.uncrate.com/men/gear/office/mmmvelopes/]]></wp:
comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
or_url>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[***<a>mmmvelopes</a>]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
or_url>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[i thought of this post: <a>mmmvelopes</a> XP]]></wp
:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_author_email>mgandy@slugmail.ucsc.edu</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I'll be it.]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Hahaha! I got an email back from that guy saying "t
hanks."]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>starfy starly</title>
<pubDate>Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:34:28 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
2009/11/starfy-starly.jpg</guid>
<wp:post_name>starfy-starly</wp:post_name>
/starfy-starly.jpg</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2009/11/starfy-starly.jpg</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
small";s:23:"height='65' width='128'";s:4:"file";s:25:"2009/11/starfy-starly.jpg
";s:5:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:25:"starfy-starly-150x150.j
pg";s:5:"width";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s
:25:"starfy-starly-300x154.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"154";}}s
:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s
:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:
"";s:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:
5:"title";s:0:"";}}</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>whothehellknows</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/11/18/margot-said-i-needed-to-update-more-so
/whothehellknows/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 18 Nov 2009 08:02:12 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
2009/11/whothehellknows.png</guid>
<wp:post_name>whothehellknows</wp:post_name>
/whothehellknows.png</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2009/11/whothehellknows.png</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
small";s:22:"height='96' width='67'";s:4:"file";s:27:"2009/11/whothehellknows.pn
g";s:5:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:27:"whothehellknows-150x15
0.png";s:5:"width";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file
";s:27:"whothehellknows-210x300.png";s:5:"width";s:3:"210";s:6:"height";s:3:"300
";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"came
ra";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright"
;s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"
0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}}</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Margot said I needed to update more, so...</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/11/18/margot-said-i-needed-to-update-more-so
/</link>
gory>
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[birthday]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="birthday"><![CDATA[birthday]]><
/category>
ategory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[It was my 20th birthday the weekend before last and th
e family plus Troy came up to visit so we could eat an obscene amount of sushi a
nd watch <em>Paranormal Activity</em>, which we all agreed was a pathetic excuse
for a horror film. I had a very enjoyable time overall and since then, I've bee
n playing <em>The Legendary Starfy</em> on my Nintendo DS and reading <em>The Ye
ar of the Flood</em> by Margaret Atwood. They were both gifts so it feels like m
y birthday has lasted two weeks now. Thanks, guys!
In other news, I've come to the conclusion that I just don't get along with loud
people. That, and people who foist their personal problems on everyone else, al
though I'm guilty of doing that sometimes. I feel that learning comes to those w
ho just <em>sit down and shut up</em>. I remember very obviously moving to the o
ther end of a lecture hall last term during my Human Genome class because some o
bnoxious guy sitting next to me had the audacity to watch Youtube videos and dis
cuss the finer points of the website's front page with his friends rather than l
isten to the the professor go over the intricate details of cell replication...
or some shit (that class was hard, okay?!). Gah! Just last week, I had to move t
o a different seat in <em>the same lecture hall</em> because a girl was using he
r laptop to instant message people <strong><em>during a film screening</em></str
ong>! Do not test my patience! It's always the quiet ones who snap!
Anywayyyy, here's some weird doodle I found on my computer today while digging a
round for old layouts.
<img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-443" title="whothehellknows" src="h
ttp://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/whothehellknows-210
x300.png" alt="whothehellknows" width="210" height="300" />
<p style="text-align: center;">Even the file name was "whothehellknows.png."
It definitely makes me miss my Wacom tablet /snort</p>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>margot-said-i-needed-to-update-more-so</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Damn the loudies!]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>hamster</title>
]></category>
2009/11/hamster.jpg</guid>
<wp:post_name>hamster</wp:post_name>
/hamster.jpg</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2009/11/hamster.jpg</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
small";s:23:"height='91' width='128'";s:4:"file";s:19:"2009/11/hamster.jpg";s:5:
"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:19:"hamster-150x150.jpg";s:5:"wid
th";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:19:"hamster
-300x213.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"213";}}s:10:"image_meta";a
:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption
";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_len
gth";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}
}</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>An overgrown hamster (?)</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/11/24/an-overgrown-hamster/</link>
gory>
ategory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-448" title=
"hamster" src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/ham
ster.jpg" alt="hamster" width="500" height="356" />]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>an-overgrown-hamster</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Some haikus</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/12/02/some-haikus/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 02 Dec 2009 22:28:40 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[haikus]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="haikus"><![CDATA[haikus]]></cat
egory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[poetry]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="poetry"><![CDATA[poetry]]></cat
egory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[#1
His assistant's eyes
The lab coat, brown tussled hair
(glorious butt chin)
#2
Alison Wonder's
only white rabbit was a
small vibrating toy
#3
Sometimes I try hard
to remember your pale face
acne scars and all
#4
This old photograph
highlights all the sexy times
I spent with Seymour
#5
Pretension ahoy
A skinny, red-headed boy
Plaid does not suit him
#6
Death is not the end
I like to go to the mall
The shirts on the wall
#7
The number seven
always struck me as a jerk
Smug right-leaning pose
#8
Hey, brunette crack whore!
The devil likes your juices
(I enjoy them too)
#9
Your fucking is loud
Why don't you come over here
So I can punch you
#10
Her birthday parties
Were always five-hundred hours
The rat says hello]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>some-haikus</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Hello.]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Hello :D]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>Die Blumen (UCSC Arboretum)</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/12/05/die-blumen/</link>
<pubDate>Sun, 06 Dec 2009 03:10:52 +0000</pubDate>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[digital]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="digital"><![CDATA[digital]]></c
ategory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[flowers]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="flowers"><![CDATA[flowers]]></c
ategory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[UCSC arboretum]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="ucsc-arboretum"><![CDATA[UCSC a
rboretum]]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kelsums/41608948
49/"><img class="aligncenter" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2599/416089484
9_0e2eb62281.jpg" alt="" width="500" height="333" /></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kelsums/4160894413/"><img class="aligncent
er" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2527/4160894413_b0bb62817b.jpg" alt="" w
idth="500" height="333" /></a>
er" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2724/4160894233_9af4c14faf.jpg" alt="" w
idth="500" height="333" /></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kelsums/sets/72157622818779123/">View the
rest of the set on Flickr</a>.]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>die-blumen</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Wordpress</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/12/15/the-writing-process/picture-2/</link>
]></category>
2009/12/Picture-2.png</guid>
/Picture-2.png</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2009/12/Picture-2.png</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>a:6:{s:5:"width";s:4:"1288";s:6:"height";s:3:"858";s:14:"hwstring
_small";s:23:"height='85' width='127'";s:4:"file";s:21:"2009/12/Picture-2.png";s
:5:"sizes";a:3:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:21:"Picture-2-150x150.png";s:5
:"width";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:21:"Pi
cture-2-300x199.png";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"199";}s:5:"large";a
:3:{s:4:"file";s:22:"Picture-2-1023x682.png";s:5:"width";s:4:"1023";s:6:"height"
;s:3:"682";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";
s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"c
opyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_spe
ed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}}</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>OmmWriter</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/12/15/the-writing-process/picture-1-2/</link
>
]></category>
<wp:post_name>picture-1-2</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
_small";s:23:"height='80' width='128'";s:4:"file";s:21:"2009/12/Picture-1.png";s
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>The Writing Process</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/12/15/the-writing-process/</link>
gory>
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[pedagogy or some shit]]></catego
ry>
<category domain="tag" nicename="pedagogy-or-some-shit"><![CDATA
[pedagogy or some shit]]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[If there's one thing I can't stand about reading perso
nal blogs, it's the apologetic entry. Such entries begin with a "Hey guys I'm so
rry I haven't updated in a while..." and end with a "I promise to write every da
y!" So rather than give you, my loyal readers, a false agenda, I've taken it upo
n myself to explore why I have a difficult time with Wordpress.
There are too many FUCKING BELLS AND WHISTLES.
<img src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/Picture-
2-300x199.png" alt="Wordpress" title="Wordpress" width="300" height="199" class=
"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-470" />
My solution? http://www.ommwriter.com/
<img src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/Picture-
1-300x187.png" alt="OmmWriter" title="OmmWriter" width="300" height="187" class=
"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-471" />
Seriously. Fuck you and your formatting options, Wordpress. Your tiny text box t
urns me off.
(ETA: I'm completely aware of the fact that those images display comparably smal
l workspaces, so I suppose it's all that other junk on the screen that gets to m
e.)]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>the-writing-process</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>Tones on Tail</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>CC:</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/12/17/cc/</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 17 Dec 2009 23:34:16 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I wish I could attach my name to your interests. At le
ast, the interests you had after meeting me, especially since I knowingly provid
e fodder for the conversations you have with other people. (The ones that contai
n absolutely no mention of me, of course.) Is that fair? Can one really own one'
s own preferences for movies, literature, music...? I'd like to. I'm aware of ho
w hypocritical I'm being. Such is the essence of being human, you'd likely tell
me.
Name-dropping is an avenue in which to become acquainted with people. We bond ov
er liking the same things; fawning over the same artists. By that logic, you sho
uld still be excited to talk to me. But you're greedy. There's novelty in having
self-congratulating conversations with people who are not me, despite how LIKE
me they are. Then again, perhaps I've just become a part of you and paradoxicall
y unimportant. It's easier to push someone away once you've absorbed all of thei
r intrigue.
I bet, you think this song is about you.]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>cc</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>Boards of Canada</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Plan A</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/12/17/plan-a/</link>
<pubDate>Fri, 18 Dec 2009 03:00:40 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
egory>
egory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Aborted fetus, I love you
Evidence of what could have been
You left my body in that room
I left that room with a grin
Aborted fetus, I love you
My innards bid you farewell
You were never a part of me
You would have made my life a living hell
My stomach suddenly aches
You are a tasty specimen
I'd like you in some cakes
Sleeping gastric peace]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>plan-a</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>The Unfortunate Hermit</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/12/17/the-unfortunate-hermit/</link>
]></category>
egory>
egory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[There once was an unfortunate hermit
an unfortuate hermit was she
she'd cry on friday nights
with ample cups of tea
her tears would drop, plop plop plop
(and inspire lines of poetry)
There once was an unfortunate hermit
she had a large pet peeve
"People are stupid!" she said
and wiped her nose with a sleeve
a Talking Heads album would play
and it was innappropriate for her to grieve
There once was an unfortunate hermit
an unfortunate hermit was she
she dragged a knife across her wrist
until it started to bleed
another pathetic stereotype proven, she thought
and registered her blog, "The Stinking Weed"]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>the-unfortunate-hermit</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>David_Lynch</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/12/17/david-lynch-is-a-cute-old-man/david_ly
nch/</link>
]></category>
2009/12/David_Lynch.jpg</guid>
<wp:post_name>david_lynch</wp:post_name>
/David_Lynch.jpg</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2009/12/David_Lynch.jpg</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
small";s:22:"height='96' width='77'";s:4:"file";s:23:"2009/12/David_Lynch.jpg";s
:5:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:23:"David_Lynch-150x150.jpg";s
:5:"width";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:23:"
David_Lynch-241x300.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"241";s:6:"height";s:3:"300";}}s:10:"im
age_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s
:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12
:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"titl
e";s:0:"";}}</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>David Lynch is a Cute Old Man</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/12/17/david-lynch-is-a-cute-old-man/</link>
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[cute]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="cute"><![CDATA[cute]]></categor
y>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[David Lynch]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="david-lynch"><![CDATA[David Lyn
ch]]></category>
egory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img class="alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-493" tit
le="David_Lynch" src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009
/12/David_Lynch-150x150.jpg" alt="David_Lynch" width="150" height="150" />There
are a variety of adjectives one can use to describe David Lynch. My sister, for
example, believes that he is “creepy.” My dad refers to him as “eccentric.” Howe
ver, neither of these people are what you can call David Lynch experts. I, on th
e other hand, sitting atop the pinnacle of expertise of all things Lynchian, bel
ieve him to be a Cute Old Man.
Our Cute Old Man, David Lynch, has cultivated his career as an unconventional fi
lmmaker through works such as <em>Twin Peaks</em>, an early 90s serial televisio
n drama about a murder in a small town, <em>Eraserhead, </em>a surrealist horror
film most noted for its deformed amphibious baby, and <em>Blue Velvet, </em>an
updated film noir about an average citizen delving into the seedier side of life
. All of these works have one thing in common: they’re fucking weird. But the ma
n is as cute as a southern kitten, I tell you!
Before I present my case, it’s vital that we speak of his work. <em>E
raserhead, </em>released in 1977, was Lynch’s first feature length film about a
man who is abandoned by his girlfriend and left with their unwanted child, a sat
anic deformity whose crying never ceases. He tries his best to hide said deformi
ty from the beautiful lady across the hall, however, his efforts are in vain due
to the calamity in the cradle. The film’s awkward dialogue and extreme close-up
s are but a few contributing factors to <em>Eraserhead’s </em>overall creepy atm
osphere, as well as the fact that it’s nearly impossible to decipher what the he
ll everyone is doing. (Did I mention the singing lady in the radiator?) Lynch’s
absurdity does not stop there. <em>Twin Peaks </em>features a strange cast of ch
aracters including a giant, a midget, and a log lady. <em>Blue Velvet, </em>alth
ough arguably more comprehensible, contains perhaps the most haunting of villain
s in Frank, a man with a disturbing Oedipal complex and an obsession with cheap
beer and gas masks.
Nevertheless, these eerie works do not prevent David Lynch from being a Cute Old
Man. What other quality would you attribute to a man who reports the weather, i
nformation that is readily available (and more accurate) elsewhere? Why does Los
Angeles always have “golden sunshine”? Why is it absolutely necessary for him t
o upload videos of himself talking about the weather when only his studio is in
view? It is because he is cute and reporting the weather is cute.
Do you know what else is cute? Meditation. Guess who meditates? David Lynch. Tra
nscendentally. In fact, he believes schools all over America should have transce
ndental meditation programs incorporated into their schedules. David Lynch is lo
oking out for the children… and some people think children are cute.
Furthermore, David Lynch has a Twitter account. Twitter, often mistaken for a na
rcissistic platform in which people spew out their “brilliant” streams of consci
ousness, serves as medium for Lynch to update the world about his art projects.
A few weeks ago, the man announced that he had built a fish over the weekend. Ho
urs later, he posted a picture of the fish and asked others what they had recent
ly accomplished. Whether or not he actually read his fans’ responses is unimport
ant. The very idea of asking what they think is inherently cute.
So next time you think David Lynch is creepy, consider this: Hello Kitty doesn’t
have a mouth and your innards are probably the same color as her pretty pink bo
w. No fallacy of logic there!]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>david-lynch-is-a-cute-old-man</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Aw thanks, Margot! :D Your comments mean a lot to m
e, especially since I ve always thought you were extremely witty!]]></wp:comment
_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[<3! Not to get all Bob on you, but I love your v
oice! :DDD You've quite the mastery of tongue-in-cheek. Very nice. Also, I&
#039;m going to add David Lynch to Twitter right now.]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>Bullet Points</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/12/20/bullet-points/</link>
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[lists]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="lists"><![CDATA[lists]]></categ
ory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h3>Movies watched in the last week:</h3>
<ul>
<li><em>Up in the Air</em></li>
<li><em>Funny People</em></li>
<li><em>A Serious Man</em></li>
<li><em>Avatar</em></li>
<li><em>The Fantastic Mr. Fox</em></li>
<li><em>Pierrot Le Fou</em></li>
</ul>
<h3>Video games played:</h3>
<ul>
<li><em>The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess</em></li>
</ul>
<h3>Albums listened to:</h3>
<ul>
<li><em>The Stimulus Package</em> - Del the Funky Homosapien</li>
<li><em>Quiet Fireworks</em> - Bjork</li>
<li><em>Bitte Orca</em> - Dirty Projectors</li>
<li><em>Boss</em> - Magick Markers</li>
<li><em>Music Has the Right to Children</em> - Boards of Canada</li>
<li><em>Fantasies</em> - Metric</li>
</ul>
<h3>Reasons for this list:</h3>
<ul>
<li>Restlessness</li>
<li>Boredom</li>
<li>Writer s block</li>
</ul>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>bullet-points</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Pierrot Le Fou</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/12/20/bullet-points/picture-3/</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 21 Dec 2009 23:51:59 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
_small";s:23:"height= 80 width= 128 ";s:4:"file";s:21:"2009/12/Picture-3.png";s
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Hackneyed Entities</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/12/21/hackneyed-entities/</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 22 Dec 2009 05:50:00 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
egory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[why am I posting this crap?]]></
category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="why-am-i-posting-this-crap"><![
CDATA[why am I posting this crap?]]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[The soggy jigsaw puzzle:
   (its pieces were meant to fit together at its inception)
The product of bad weather and unfortunate incidents
Sitting at the back of the family game cabinet
Who dare open its box?
The excruciating task of forcing it together
The picture faded,
     nothing to reference
     its purpose lost
I never liked jigsaw puzzles
Everything, carefully calculated
straight end pieces frame
that "masterpiece,"
expectantly waiting to be built
Blocks were always my forte
Tiny pieces
(Cells
Atoms
Particles)
insignificant(?)
until pulled together]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>hackneyed-entities</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Igby</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/12/21/igby/</link>
ategory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[Igby]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="igby"><![CDATA[Igby]]></categor
y>
42/"><img class="aligncenter" title="Igby" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2
526/4205625342_9a4d7d1811.jpg" alt="" width="333" height="500" /></a>
<p style="text-align: center;">My favorite model.</p>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>igby</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Indeed. Trained him well.]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[He s so dramatic!]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Haha I m glad you met him too. He probably wouldn t
mind seeing you again ;D]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Igby! I m so glad I met him. <3!]]></wp:comment_
content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>Moar Haikus</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/12/22/moar-haikus/</link>
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[haikus]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="haikus"><![CDATA[haikus]]></cat
egory>
egory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[#1
You lack adjectives
It s revolutionary?
Well I think it s crap
#2
Hello sir, good day
I like your purple top hat
but mine is taller
#3
A room with a moose
The most terrifying thing
I need season three
#4
Simple litMUSTest
I regret that you failed it
Where does this leave me?]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>moar-haikus</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I have a feeling that image exists, somewhere, in s
ome universe.]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Picture Zim in an evil top hat!]]></wp:comment_cont
ent>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>Xmas</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2009/12/27/xmas/</link>
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[lists]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="lists"><![CDATA[lists]]></categ
ory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[YouTube]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="youtube"><![CDATA[YouTube]]></c
ategory>
88/"><img class="aligncenter" title="Xmas" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2
682/4205625188_3a0216c35b.jpg" alt="" width="500" height="333" /></a>
<h3>Notable gifts this year:</h3>
<ul>
<li>Playstation 3 (120GB)</li>
<li>Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days</li>
<li>Webster s Pictorial Dictionary</li>
<li>Jewelry! (I never get jewelry!)</li>
<li><em>House of Leaves</em> by Mark Z. Danielewski</li>
<li>"Gilmore Girls," season one</li>
<li>"The Office" (US), season four</li>
<li><em>Charlie Harper: An Illustrated Life</em></li>
<li>"Teas of England" loose leaf tea from Cost Plus World Market</li>
<li>Amazon.com gift certificate (I just spent some of it on Bioshock for
the PS3 and David Lynch s autobiography, haha)</li>
</ul>
In other news, this is quite possibly the best thing I ve seen on Youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65PiKsNhCsc&feature=player_profilepage]]></co
ntent:encoded>
<wp:post_name>xmas</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_key>_oembed_9f89cd2105a40aeefa8e5dc44331fd13</wp:meta_key>
<wp:meta_value><object width="500" height="306"><param name="movie" value="http:
//www.youtube.com/v/65PiKsNhCsc&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" valu
e="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed s
rc="http://www.youtube.com/v/65PiKsNhCsc&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-fla
sh" width="500" height="306" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"><
/embed></object></wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Thank you :)]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I do declare that that is the epitome of brilliant
Christmas photographs. It shares not much company.]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>Karen O</title>
]></category>
2009/12/Photo-119.jpg</guid>
<wp:post_name>photo-119</wp:post_name>
/Photo-119.jpg</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2009/12/Photo-119.jpg</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
small";s:23:"height= 96 width= 128 ";s:4:"file";s:21:"2009/12/Photo-119.jpg";s:
5:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:21:"Photo-119-150x150.jpg";s:5:
"width";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:21:"Pho
to-119-300x225.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"225";}}s:10:"image_m
eta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"c
aption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"foc
al_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:
0:"";}}</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Twenty-ten</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/01/01/twenty-ten/</link>
<pubDate>Sat, 02 Jan 2010 03:25:30 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[new years]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="new-years"><![CDATA[new years]]
></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[sinus infection]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="sinus-infection"><![CDATA[sinus
infection]]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[It s the new year and I ve been sitting in my bed all
day because I have the world s worst sinus congestion, which, I might add, is re
sponsible for deafening my left ear. To make matters worse, I ve infected the bo
yfriend whom I can t see because he s too sick to drive over here.
My new year s resolutions are always the same (in that I don t really believe in
them).
1. Continue badassery
2. Shut up
As my good friend Chuck P would say, "Self-improvement is masturbation." On a mo
re serious note though, I just don t think new year s resolutions ever pan out a
s one expects because they lack incentives. A year change is not a substantial i
ncentive. A new year does not mark a new beginning. 2010 is ten years after 2000
, twenty years after 1990, thirty years after 1980...
And we <em>still</em> don t have flying cars or magic pills that cure all existi
ng ailments.
Considering the amount of people who have been let down by their New Year s Eve
parties, I would venture to guess that there is no supernatural transformation t
hat takes place at 12:00AM on January 1st, and I don t think this makes me bitte
r. I think it saves me disillusionment.
Nevertheless, I hope 2010 to be prosperous and that any desires to change myself
are genuine rather than the product of some mythical time limit.]]></content:en
coded>
<wp:post_name>twenty-ten</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>!@#$%</title>
<pubDate>Tue, 05 Jan 2010 18:56:47 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[sinus infection]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="sinus-infection"><![CDATA[sinus
infection]]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I ve returned to my beloved Santa Cruz, but yesterday
s journey was not full of bunnies and rainbows.
I woke up at 3AM in a coughing fit and discovered that my left eye had been crus
ted over, leading me to believe that my sinus infection had given me pinkeye. Tr
ying my best not to worry *too* much about it, I cleaned it up and went back to
sleep. Around 7AM, after my second awakening, I showed my parents and they under
standably pushed me to see a doctor. Unfortunately, the doctor could only see me
around 2PM, so our drive back to school would put us in Santa Cruz much later t
han we had anticipated.
I waited in the doctor s office for what seemed like an eternity (~13 minutes).
I told the nurse that I had a sinus infection and pinkeye. The nurse wrote down
"possible sinus infection, possible pinkeye." The doctor came in and stuck her i
nstrument up my nose and in my ears and told me that I had a really bad sinus in
fection and my ear drum looked like it had been ripped and resealed itself becau
se of all the pressure. (Great, no wonder I m deaf.) I didn t have pinkeye, rath
er, the infection was so bad that it was draining out of my eyes.
The doctor s pharmacy didn t have enough of whatever hardcore antibiotic she was
putting me on, so my dad and I drove over to Rite Aid where we had to wait anot
her hour. While we were there, my dad also bought me a case of water bottles and
took me to IHOP. I ordered the fruit bowl.
We finally left for Santa Cruz around 4:15 and I made sure to have a bag handy d
uring the ride so that I had somewhere to cough my phlegm into. Fortunately for
my dad, I no longer felt nauseous about half way there, so we were able to take
turns driving. We arrived at Santa Cruz around 11:30PM.
Blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.]]></content:encoded>
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<item>
<title>Avatar</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/01/07/pocohontar/16103_full/</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 07 Jan 2010 09:05:44 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
2010/01/16103_full.jpg</guid>
<wp:post_name>16103_full</wp:post_name>
/16103_full.jpg</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/01/16103_full.jpg</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
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103_full-300x292.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"292";}}s:10:"image
_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:
"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"f
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s:0:"";}}</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Pocohontar</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/01/07/pocohontar/</link>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I try to avoid posting things I ve found on other blog
s, but this is too hilarious. (Click for full-size.)
<a href="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/16103_ful
l.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-570" title="Avatar" src="htt
p://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/16103_full-300x292.jp
g" alt="" width="300" height="292" /></a>
I enjoyed <em>Avatar</em> for its visual effects. Otherwise, I thought the writi
ng was terrible and never ended up liking nor identifying with the protagonist a
nd his blazingly shallow observations. Why the hell did the Navi have any reason
to trust Jake Sully, anyway?]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>pocohontar</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
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</item>
<item>
<title>Daria</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/01/07/wheres-your-netiquette-man/daria-morge
ndorffer/</link>
<pubDate>Fri, 08 Jan 2010 06:16:52 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
2010/01/daria-morgendorffer.jpg</guid>
<excerpt:encoded><![CDATA[I m just too cool for this shit, I guess]]></excerpt:e
ncoded>
<wp:post_name>daria-morgendorffer</wp:post_name>
/daria-morgendorffer.jpg</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/01/daria-morgendorffer.jpg</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
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er.jpg";s:5:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:31:"daria-morgendorff
er-150x150.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{
s:4:"file";s:31:"daria-morgendorffer-300x199.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"hei
ght";s:3:"199";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0
:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:
9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter
_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}}</wp:meta_value>
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</item>
<item>
<title>Totes</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/01/07/wheres-your-netiquette-man/</link>
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[rage]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="rage"><![CDATA[rage]]></categor
y>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I have this really terrible habit of befriending the s
ocially inept. I refuse to use the term "awkward" because practically everyone i
s socially awkward in one way or another. I m referring more to people who have
a seemingly difficult time with communication, <em>empathy</em>, and social inte
raction.
Occasionally I ll find someone whom I can shamelessly make excuses for since the
y ve demonstrated some effort to be a good friend to me, but more often, I m fac
ed with extreme disappointment.
It s obviously due to a ridiculous goal of mine to be a good samaritan, friend t
o the friendless, but fuck... the friendless are generally friendless for good r
eason.
[caption id="attachment_576" align="aligncenter" width="406" caption="I'm ju
st too cool for this shit, I guess"]<a href="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/
wp-content/uploads/2010/01/daria-morgendorffer.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-ima
ge-576" title="Daria" src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads
/2010/01/daria-morgendorffer.jpg" alt="" width="406" height="270" /></a>[/captio
n] ]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>wheres-your-netiquette-man</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>Crystal Castles</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Meh</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/01/09/me/</link>
]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Well... with that being said, I m actually rather happ
y with humanity this week.]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>me</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_key>_wp_old_slug</wp:meta_key>
<wp:meta_value>nevermind</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Breaking up is hard to do</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/01/10/breaking-up-is-hard-to-do/</link>
<pubDate>Sun, 10 Jan 2010 21:49:12 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[omg life]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="omg-life"><![CDATA[omg life]]><
/category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[...and I could go on and on about how sorry for myself
I feel right now but it was mutual, I m relieved, I ll get over it. The ex-boyf
riend was surprisingly supportive and understood why I d want to end it.
<a href="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/lets-brea
k-up.gif"><img src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/0
1/lets-break-up.gif" alt="" title="lets-break-up" width="482" height="238" class
="aligncenter size-full wp-image-589" /></a>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>breaking-up-is-hard-to-do</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
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</item>
<item>
<title>lets-break-up</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/01/10/breaking-up-is-hard-to-do/lets-break-u
p/</link>
<pubDate>Sun, 10 Jan 2010 23:00:45 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
2010/01/lets-break-up.gif</guid>
<wp:post_name>lets-break-up</wp:post_name>
/lets-break-up.gif</wp:attachment_url>
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if";s:5:"width";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s
:25:"lets-break-up-300x148.gif";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"148";}}s
:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s
:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:
"";s:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:
5:"title";s:0:"";}}</wp:meta_value>
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<wp:meta_value>2010/01/lets-break-up.gif</wp:meta_value>
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<item>
<title>lolvagina</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/01/12/lolvaginas/lolvagina/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 13 Jan 2010 07:08:12 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
2010/01/lolvagina.gif</guid>
<wp:post_name>lolvagina</wp:post_name>
/lolvagina.gif</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/01/lolvagina.gif</wp:meta_value>
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:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:21:"lolvagina-150x150.gif";s:5:"
width";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:21:"lolv
agina-220x300.gif";s:5:"width";s:3:"220";s:6:"height";s:3:"300";}}s:10:"image_me
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>lolvaginas</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/01/12/lolvaginas/</link>
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[Facebook]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="facebook"><![CDATA[Facebook]]><
/category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[grammar Nazism]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="grammar-nazism"><![CDATA[gramma
r Nazism]]></category>
/uploads/2010/01/lolvagina.gif"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-592"
title="lolvagina" src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/201
0/01/lolvagina.gif" alt="" width="228" height="310" /></a>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>lolvaginas</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Lolol. Brilliant!]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>In which I admit my love for 'Tao Lin'</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/01/16/in-which-i-admit-my-love-for-tao-lin/<
/link>
]></category>
/category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I m glad I kept my old Livejournal account and didn t
let it go the way of all other things I became embarrassed about--I go through a
lot of phases of trying to erase my Web 2.0 existence and starting new. (To be
fair, this new beginning is normally characterized by initial feelings of loss
and self-deprecation.)
Closing my blog off to the general public, I think, made it easier to publish my
real feelings and shamelessly revel in my mental masturbation. I try to bri
ng that over here, but creativity is stunted by an increasing fear of IRL folks
immediately changing their opinion of me upon reading what should be in an astu
te 13 year old s Xanga. (On second thought, I suppose that description might be
giving me too much credit.)
Butttt whatever, here I am, trying again. I ve decided that I am *~more than wha
t other people believe of me~*. (And at the risk of sounding like a tool, I ll e
xplain that I use tildes and asterisks to connote sarcasm in the form of a hand
swish and/or air quotes.)
A Livejournal excerpt:
<blockquote>May 11th, 2009
[My ex-boyfriend] broke up with me last night. He said he felt like I never trus
ted him, I don t support his ambition to be a writer, blahblahblahblah.</blockqu
ote>
We probably should have officially ended it then, rather than a week ago. It s w
eird though, severing all contact with him has allowed me to completely detach m
yself. It might have been because it really was time to end things, but I don t
think I can fully comprehend why it s extremely easy thus far.]]></content:encod
ed>
<wp:post_name>in-which-i-admit-my-love-for-tao-lin</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>"Smack My Bitch Up" - The Prodigy (Nika and I decided that <em>Th
e Fat Of The Land</em> only gets better with age.)</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Word</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/01/18/word/</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 18 Jan 2010 20:26:42 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[words]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="words"><![CDATA[words]]></categ
ory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I like that understandable is an acceptable word. It
differs from comprehensible in that it connotes empathy and saves me time by
giving me one term that means "hey man, I totally get it, and I don t think you
re weird--your feelings are to be expected."
<h3>Other words I like:</h3>
<strong>For their meaning:</strong>
defenestrate, abrogate, propinquity, perendinate, asperity
<strong>For their sound:</strong>
sui generis, mellifluous, palaver, aquarium, inevitable
<h3>Words I use too much:</h3>
<strong>In academia:</strong>
essentially, ultimately, nevertheless, juxtapose, albeit
<strong>In conversation:</strong>
dude, like, comparable, relative, dude, dude, dude, dude, like, dude, dude, dude
, dude, dude, dude]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>word</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
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</item>
<item>
<title>Björkgasm</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/01/20/hello-bjork-i-would-still-like-to-marr
y-you/</link>
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[Björk]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="bjork"><![CDATA[Björk]]></categ
ory>
ategory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75WFTHpOw8Y]]></content
:encoded>
<wp:post_name>hello-bjork-i-would-still-like-to-marry-you</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
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</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
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//www.youtube.com/v/75WFTHpOw8Y&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" valu
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</item>
<item>
<title>Come Out Tonight</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/01/21/come-out-tonight/</link>
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[Steven J. Bernstein]]></category
>
<category domain="tag" nicename="steven-j-bernstein"><![CDATA[St
even J. Bernstein]]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[by Steven J. Bernstein
Forecast in chrome and plastic. Tyrants breathing alloy of slavery, planet hunge
r, versions of Jackie O. Sherry, Sherry baby, won t you come out tonight? And th
e stars whisper like old blood at the edges of the body of night. She stood with
one hand on the phone for four hours, poised as though only a few seconds had p
assed. I watched her through the crack between the shade and the sill. She waite
d for a forecast in human trembling, together with other important women. Come,
come, come out tonight. The world suffers for her: The clock hurries like a terr
ified animal, then stops, dribbling saliva. She has eaten chicken pie and bubble
gum. For a month the Luftwaffe lived on raisins. Same with the French, after the
war. Jackie O. received fresh oranges from John Kennedy. Silly girl. She cannot
put down the telephone receiver. She is waiting to receive my body of work. She
wants to take it in her ear. A mottled flush builds under her cheeks. She eats
Xmas candy while she waits. The telephone rings and rings. I am not at home. I a
m with Jackie O. We are eating oranges from the President. We are alone on the r
oof of a Park Avenue penthouse. Picture of Marilyn Monroe in my back pocket mold
ed by heat and sweat to the shape of my buttocks. You are gripping the phone smi
ling, eating candy, crying. I am with the important women, now. I am secretly an
important man. Hang up the phone. I can t dance with you, anymore. Go to your f
reezer and get a popsicle. Go to your TV. Turn on your TV. You will see me and J
ackie O. She will be taking it in her ear, the body of my work. In the Planetari
um. You will receive a forecast. I will always be more important than you. You w
ill never be important enough. You will never be on the whip-hand of slavery, ne
ver be the one to wield hunger against humanity. Heaven will never be an extensi
on of your body. Your body will always belong to someone else. The picture of Ma
rilyn Monroe flutters across the roof, steaming, shaped like me. Shaped like my
ass. The sky is filled with oranges during the war. We eat them. The president i
s alone in a room. He is unimportant. As we eat his oranges the sky grows blacke
r. The moon ripens and turns red. It rots and is swallowed by the darkness. You
are still by the phone. It is ringing and ringing, dead. Sherry, Sherry baby, wo
n t you come out tonight. It is completely dark. The earth freezes. You put down
the receiver and go to the window. Come, come, come out tonight.]]></content:en
coded>
<wp:post_name>come-out-tonight</wp:post_name>
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<item>
<title>Hit Me</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/01/22/hit-me/</link>
]></category>
/category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Everything is so pointless pointless pointless. The mu
ndane details of my Friday night will be ones I will soon forget, I m sure. Espe
cially since I jot things down in my journal only when something particularly dr
amatic happens--although I feel like I m constantly reassessing people, writing
down my final judgments of them, only to cross out and edit the next day. I co
uld make an effort to be more objective but I feel that I d be losing that ever
so important experience of persuading oneself.
And I can t fucking finish that book because it reminds me of you, Troy. Kiki s
perfect ears. You often told me I had nice ears but I think it s only because th
ey were small. I never thought much about ears, only that they looked obscene, t
hat they looked like parts that should be covered. I imagined the unveiling of o
ne s ears to be an exceptionally intimate act. Kyle MacLachlan s severed ear. "I
used to know a kid who lived there, he had the biggest tongue in the world." No
w my ears are always visible, they are not hidden under locks of mermaid hair ("
perpetually underwater?"). I could correlate this with my present state of vulne
rability, but I ll save you the bullshit. Maybe I ll power through those last pa
ges.
I think about last year and about how happy I remember myself being. College was
giving me the opportunity to reestablish myself as someone I was completely com
fortable with. I am again given this opportunity, faced with the option to bring
new experiences into being... that is, if I allow it. I should allow it. Those
insecurities, that nagging tendency to find conflict in everything I involve mys
elf in, <em>those fucking people</em>, I can ignore them just as I can ignore im
pending anxiety attacks. I reject the the notion that it is perfectly healthy to
mull over everything that is bothering oneself. I was never a fan of advice fro
m women s magazines anyway.]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>hit-me</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Give me your lies</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/01/25/give-me-your-lies/</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:36:07 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
/category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I m retreating to last year and I m bringing yesterday
s friends with me. I m celebrating this nonsense, I m saying things without imm
ediately gauging the other s reactions.
Act like an asshole and you ve swept them all away!
That pointlessness? That ever increasing feeling of being small, of being incons
equential, of not having any thing to say that s mildly interesting, I ll still
have time to wallow in it after everything is said and done.]]></content:encoded
>
<wp:post_name>give-me-your-lies</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
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</item>
<item>
<title>Learned Helplessness</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/01/27/learned-helplessness/</link>
]></category>
egory>
/category>
category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I m sitting in my psychology section--the one that fee
ls like high school without the collared shirts--and I m revisiting recent exper
iences, specifically the ants invading my windowsill and my lack of groceries (m
y stomach likes to remind me). My TA, with her adorable dimples and fashion faux
pas, is talking about anxiety orders as part of a "mini lecture" and cautions a
gainst self-diagnosing. I try my best to ignore the fact that her outlining symp
toms of a panic attack may induce a panic attack. Dizziness. Increased heart rat
e. Feeling of being choked.
So I think of you: the irrelevant <em>you</em>. Who the fuck are<em>you</em>? <
em>Whom</em> am I speaking to? I m not supposed to talk to <em>you</em>. You, wh
om I pass judgement on. You, whom I delineate from <em>them</em> for the sole re
ason of persuading myself that I m not self-harming, that the choice to speak to
you is not one completely under my control. You, you, you. It s silly though, t
houghts of avoiding a panic attack turn into thoughts of you, thoughts of involu
ntary reactions that fooled me into thinking we re close. I sneeze.
These narratives have significance after the fact because of the magic of exagge
rated elaboration.
Ineludible stressors? I m not even sure if i was looking for stasis anymore. Aft
er all, stagnation is what I escaped and refused to continue.
Maybe I m being cryptic because it s easier to allude to things that probably ar
en t there rather than risk unfounded assertions.
It s late, and I should sleep. I dreamt of comfortable exposure and Laura Harrin
g last night. I jumped into imperfect maps of the United States and I talked to
characters with shadows across their faces. I walked through a familiar ally wit
h barn like entrances. It fell apart when I was confronted with a version of mys
elf that I tried to push away, but I guess I should be thankful that I have an o
pportunity to tackle that in an artificial arena. ]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>learned-helplessness</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>past and present</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/01/29/i-got-my-head-but-my-head-is-unravelin
g/pastandpresent/</link>
]></category>
2010/01/pastandpresent.jpg</guid>
<wp:post_name>pastandpresent</wp:post_name>
/pastandpresent.jpg</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/01/pastandpresent.jpg</wp:meta_value>
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}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera"
;s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:
0:"";s:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";
s:5:"title";s:0:"";}}</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>I got my head, but my head is unraveling</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/01/29/i-got-my-head-but-my-head-is-unravelin
g/</link>
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[lol]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="lol"><![CDATA[lol]]></category>
></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I feel really silly for doing this, but I made a colla
ge of some sort. It s amusing how I ll look at things I used to feel comfortable
liking, dismiss and insult them, only to return to them again. Such is the faul
t of my ~identity~. Also, I like squares.
<a href="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/pastandpr
esent.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-633" title="past and prese
nt" src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/pastandpr
esent.jpg" alt="" width="500" height="648" /></a>
From left to right: Maynard James Keenan, Chris Corner, Johnny the Homicidal Man
iac, Takashi Murakami, Chuck Palahniuk, Kool Keith, David Lynch (& Isabella
Rossellini), Nick Cave, Helvetica, ..., Tank Girl, Jean Luc-Godard]]></content:e
ncoded>
<wp:post_name>i-got-my-head-but-my-head-is-unraveling</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Still don t get why you re not sexually attracted t
o Chris Corner]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[That s like, the only attractive picture of him. AN
D I HAVE SEEN HIM IN PERSON!]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>who knows if the moon's</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/01/29/who-knows-if-the-moons/</link>
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[ee cummings]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="ee-cummings"><![CDATA[ee cummin
gs]]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[by ee cummings
who knows if the moon s
a balloon,coming out of a keen city
in the sky--filled with pretty people?
(and if you and i should
get into it,if they
should take me and take you into their balloon,
why then
we d go up higher with all the pretty people
than houses and steeples and clouds:
go sailing
away and away sailing into a keen
city which nobody s ever visited,where
always
it s
Spring)and everyone s
in love and flowers pick themselves]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>who-knows-if-the-moons</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>zombie</title>
<pubDate>Tue, 02 Feb 2010 07:29:27 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
2010/02/zombie.gif</guid>
<wp:post_name>zombie</wp:post_name>
/zombie.gif</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/02/zombie.gif</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
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";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"123";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:
"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_t
imestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s
:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}}</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Jack Nicholson</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/02/02/jack-nicholson/</link>
]></category>
/category>
ategory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I feel like the lyrics to some whiney Placebo song in
which Brian Molko is forced to find synonyms for bruised and broken because ther
e are only so many things you can say about self-medicating, depression, and fai
led relationships. I am stressed over non-events, I am unable to assess my eff
ect on anyone, I am shy, I am awkward, I am small. This is not the first time. I
should shut up already. Brian Molko should shut up already. I m going to shut u
p about myself for a very long time.
I have a two-page psychology paper due today about how young adults generally ch
ange their behavior upon their arrival to college.
Even Agent Dale Cooper can be corrupted.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rjJ51N7qZY
Oh, and I tried to participate in Hourly Comic Day yesterday, but I only made ei
ght. You can view them <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kelsums/sets/721576
23325769026/">here</a>. Yesterday was productive. Yesterday involved UHF and Lit
tle Big Planet.]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>jack-nicholson</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
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</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Dude, I don t think I could ever write a poetic sap
ballad because Brian has done it all already.]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I know exactly what you mean.]]></wp:comment_conten
t>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>1340231259076656-450x450</title>
]></category>
2010/02/1340231259076656-450x450.jpg</guid>
<wp:post_name>1340231259076656-450x450</wp:post_name>
/1340231259076656-450x450.jpg</wp:attachment_url>
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<wp:meta_value>2010/02/1340231259076656-450x450.jpg</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
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50x450.jpg";s:5:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:36:"1340231259076
656-450x450-150x150.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medi
um";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:36:"1340231259076656-450x450-300x300.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:
"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"300";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:
6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timesta
mp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0"
;s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}}</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>psych</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/02/02/undead-undead-undead/psych/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 03 Feb 2010 00:10:05 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
2010/02/psych.jpg</guid>
<wp:post_name>psych</wp:post_name>
/psych.jpg</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/02/psych.jpg</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
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izes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:17:"psych-150x150.jpg";s:5:"width";
s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:17:"psych-300x2
25.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"225";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s
:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:
"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length";s
:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}}</wp:
meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Undead undead undead</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/02/02/undead-undead-undead/</link>
gory>
]></category>
ategory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: center;">Here is what my current
psychology professor looks like.
<a href="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/psych.jpg
"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-658" title="psych" src="http://www.
notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/psych.jpg" alt="" width="352"
height="265" /></a></p>
Today she told us that we wouldn t have much time for sex because the break was
coming up. You read that right and interpreted it wrong.]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>undead-undead-undead</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_author><![CDATA[Lynn]]></wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>lfhe@ucsc.edu</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Teeheet.]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>Unhumored</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/02/03/unhumored/</link>
]></category>
/category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[A black man in a gothy trench coat introduced himself
to me a few weeks ago in the dining hall. I wasn t alone, but I was waiting for
my friends to join me, and so I grabbed a spot at one of the longer tables. He t
old me his name was Fate and pulled a chair closer to where I was sitting. Later
, I found out that Fate was a moniker, that his name was really David, and that
said moniker was inspired by his reading <em>The Art of War</em> by Sun Tzu. He
relayed this information to the guy sitting next to me because I suppose my grou
p of girlfriends didn t seem to be the type of crowd receptive to this sort of k
nowledge.
A few days later, I took the bus downtown so I could buy groceries at Trader Joe
s. I chose the shortest check-out line, but soon realized that it was short bec
ause the cashier was especially chatty and especially chatty cashiers are not so
mething most people are comfortable with. He asked me what my major was, to whic
h I replied film. He told me that he was a literature major and that all of his
fellow lit majors weren t pursuing writing careers now that they were out of sch
ool. He recited a Chinese proverb, something along the lines of the key to achie
ving something is to start and continue. He said that if a musician was really i
ntent on making music his career, he d have to be famous after 80 years of keep
ing on regardless of talent.
There are a few ways I could steer these experiences; this retelling of them. I
could lament my uncomfortable position in social interactions with strangers, of
fer an overarching theme of Chinese philosophies, or invalidate my previous dist
aste of humanity by reflecting on why these little occurrences, albeit ridiculou
s, force me to reevaluate my perception of the world. Or I could say it s irrele
vant and continue focusing on the here and now.]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>unhumored</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>bjork-leaf-1</title>
<pubDate>Fri, 05 Feb 2010 19:41:27 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
2010/02/bjork-leaf-1.jpg</guid>
<wp:post_name>bjork-leaf-1</wp:post_name>
/bjork-leaf-1.jpg</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/02/bjork-leaf-1.jpg</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
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;s:5:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:24:"bjork-leaf-1-150x150.jpg
";s:5:"width";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:2
4:"bjork-leaf-1-300x157.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"157";}}s:10
:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:
"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";
s:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"
title";s:0:"";}}</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>My name is Ferdinand</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/02/10/my-name-is-ferdinand/</link>
gory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[Not Kelsey]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="not-kelsey"><![CDATA[Not Kelsey
]]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I gave my blog a facelift because I decided that altho
ugh the smiley sun, bunny with propeller hat, and cloudy background accurately r
epresented my tendency towards the retardedly cute, I felt that these symbols
were incongruous to a lot of my writing. It s confusing to scroll past convivial
illustration only to learn that I think <em>life is shit, man</em>.
For the moment, I say that in jest.
In addition, I m attempting to create some sort of cohesiveness between my vario
us Internet dwellings. Please note my <a href="http://notkelsey.tumblr.com/">Tum
blr s</a> color scheme.
I have more stuff (and perhaps, things) to say, but I m pretty tired and have de
cided to save my thoughts for tomorrow. Or, I suppose, today, but when it s like
, not 1:30AM.
"I can never have a real conversation with you. You never have ideas, only feeli
ngs. That s not true. There are ideas in feelings."]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>my-name-is-ferdinand</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I approve, although the cutesy will be missed! <
3]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Yay! :D]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>I'm at the big kids' table, y'all</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/02/11/im-at-the-big-kids-table-yall/</link>
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[:D]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="d"><![CDATA[:D]]></category>
/category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I reached an intensified level of comfort expedited by
sleep deprivation, cat templates, and all-girl surf rock bands. I reveled in go
od company and felt significant movie moments that made hanging out a more pur
poseful affair. Every conversation was significant; every word deliberate. I flo
ated along the campus bridges and recalled my difficulty with remembering the di
fference between indifferent and ambivalent, resolving that those two words
were not adjectives I needed to exercise for a while. Merely smiling, unthinking
. Tranquility in my own skin.
Prior to ostensible life-affirming proceedings, I wanted to crawl into a dark co
rner and retain an air of obscurity, dismissing any moment of intimacy if it mea
nt that I did not also lose enticement.
But now, I d like to share, share, share <3]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>im-at-the-big-kids-table-yall</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>It's In Our Hands</title>
]></category>
2010/02/15-Its-In-Our-Hands.m4a</guid>
<wp:post_name>15-its-in-our-hands</wp:post_name>
/15-Its-In-Our-Hands.m4a</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/02/15-Its-In-Our-Hands.m4a</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_key>_wp_attachment_temp_parent</wp:meta_key>
<wp:meta_value>-1266392049</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>a:0:{}</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Cryptic Shit</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/02/18/cryptic-shit/</link>
]></category>
/category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[My psyche is public domain. My blog is erect nipples i
n the freezer section.
<em>Cognitive dissonance</em> is a key term here--thank you intro to psychology-
-and I m just going to say that life is a performance. My behavior is a performa
nce, I am playing a character in a teen exploitation film, although I suppose we
re all young adults now, but not the kind that read vampire novels, we re in th
e weird in-between stage of drinking soda and renting cars.
Right now, this is crucial. <em>And I will fuck with your rendering of these wor
ds.</em>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>cryptic-shit</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Charlene Keys</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/02/18/charlene-keys/</link>
category>
></category>
ategory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hb37Nh_Sg4g]]></content
:encoded>
<wp:post_name>charlene-keys</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
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</item>
<item>
<title>Echos</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/02/18/anticipation-is-so-much-better/echos/<
/link>
]></category>
2010/02/echos.gif</guid>
<wp:post_name>echos</wp:post_name>
/echos.gif</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/02/echos.gif</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
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s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:17:"echos-300x1
77.gif";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"177";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s
meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Anticipation is so much better</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/02/18/anticipation-is-so-much-better/</link>
gory>
ategory>
/uploads/2010/02/echos.gif"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-820" ti
tle="Echos" src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/e
chos-300x177.gif" alt="" width="300" height="177" /></a>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>anticipation-is-so-much-better</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Internets</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/02/19/its-friday-night/internets/</link>
]></category>
2010/02/internets.gif</guid>
<wp:post_name>internets</wp:post_name>
/internets.gif</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/02/internets.gif</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
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"width";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:21:"int
ernets-300x180.gif";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"180";}}s:10:"image_m
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT!</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/02/19/its-friday-night/</link>
gory>
gory>
ategory>
ategory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.not
kelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/internets.gif"><img class="align
center size-full wp-image-824" title="Internets" src="http://www.notkelsey.com/w
ordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/internets.gif" alt="" width="400" height="24
1" /></a>
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCMhRwMrLoY">indeed</a></p>]]></content:
encoded>
<wp:post_name>its-friday-night</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>manbitesdog</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/02/23/i-just-want-to-play-checkers/manbitesd
og/</link>
]></category>
2010/02/manbitesdog.png</guid>
<wp:post_name>manbitesdog</wp:post_name>
/manbitesdog.png</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/02/manbitesdog.png</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
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"manbitesdog-300x201.png";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"201";}}s:10:"i
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>doodles</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/02/23/i-just-want-to-play-checkers/doodles/<
/link>
]></category>
2010/02/doodles.gif</guid>
<wp:post_name>doodles</wp:post_name>
/doodles.gif</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/02/doodles.gif</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
small";s:22:"height= 96 width= 72 ";s:4:"file";s:19:"2010/02/doodles.gif";s:5:"
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h";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:19:"doodles-
225x300.gif";s:5:"width";s:3:"225";s:6:"height";s:3:"300";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:
10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption"
;s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_leng
th";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}}
</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>swirly</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/02/23/i-just-want-to-play-checkers/swirly/</
link>
]></category>
2010/02/swirly.gif</guid>
<wp:post_name>swirly</wp:post_name>
/swirly.gif</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/02/swirly.gif</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
small";s:22:"height= 96 width= 59 ";s:4:"file";s:18:"2010/02/swirly.gif";s:5:"s
izes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:18:"swirly-150x150.gif";s:5:"width"
;s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:18:"swirly-187
x300.gif";s:5:"width";s:3:"187";s:6:"height";s:3:"300";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:
{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:
0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length"
;s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}}</w
p:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>I just want to play checkers</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/02/23/i-just-want-to-play-checkers/</link>
gory>
ategory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[screen caps]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="screen-caps"><![CDATA[screen ca
ps]]></category>
/uploads/2010/02/manbitesdog.png"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-833
" title="Man Bites Dog" src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploa
ds/2010/02/manbitesdog.png" alt="" width="500" height="336" /></a>
<a href="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/doodles.g
if"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-837" title="doodles" src="http://
www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/doodles.gif" alt="" width
="500" height="664" /></a>
<a href="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/swirly.gi
f"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-838" title="swirly" src="http://ww
w.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/swirly.gif" alt="" width="4
67" height="748" /></a>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>i-just-want-to-play-checkers</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>She can't feel, she's no queen!</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/02/23/she-cant-feel-shes-no-queen/</link>
]></category>
/category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[These tubes are all meta now and my face hurts and not
hing ever reads as well as I imagine it to. Forget real self-discipline. They ha
ve an app for that. I have been doing fuckall the last couple days other than in
undating the Internet with cat pictures and 3AM epiphanies. And bad jokes. Espec
ially bad jokes.
<em>Said I ll take you, Kathleen. To your home and mine.</em>]]></content:encode
d>
<wp:post_name>she-cant-feel-shes-no-queen</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
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</item>
<item>
<title>!@#$%^&</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/02/28/i-thrive-best-hermit-style/blah/</link
>
]></category>
2010/02/blah.gif</guid>
<wp:post_name>blah</wp:post_name>
/blah.gif</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/02/blah.gif</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
small";s:22:"height= 96 width= 96 ";s:4:"file";s:16:"2010/02/blah.gif";s:5:"siz
es";a:1:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:16:"blah-150x150.gif";s:5:"width";s:3
:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s
:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timest
amp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0
";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}}</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>I thrive best, hermit style</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/02/28/i-thrive-best-hermit-style/</link>
gory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<blockquote>"Colorless green ideas sleep furiously" is
a sentence composed by Noam Chomsky in 1957 as an example of a sentence with co
rrect grammar (logical form) but semantics which are nonsensical. The sentence t
herefore has no understandable meaning. An example of a category mistake, it was
used to show inadequacy of the then-popular probabilistic models of grammar, an
d the need for more structured models.</blockquote>
<a href="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/blah.gif"
><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-861" title="!@#$%^&" src="http:/
/www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/blah.gif" alt="" width="
289" height="287" /></a>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>i-thrive-best-hermit-style</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_author_email>margot.gandy@gmail.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Splendiferous! You re so avant-garde. ;)]]></wp:com
ment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[I ve been dabbling in Discordian theory.]]></wp:com
ment_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>Call me the hit man, 'cuz I make you wanna call time-out</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/03/05/call-me-the-hit-man-cuz-i-make-you-wan
na-call-time-out/</link>
<pubDate>Fri, 05 Mar 2010 20:22:10 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
/category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Their entrance has been sealed shut as of this morning
. But I miss my little friends, the ants. They weren t even attentive to <em>una
salsa muy salsa!</em>, tangerines, or instant oatmeal. My room was merely a sho
rtcut. Fixit lady said they were smart. I didn t think they were very smart. Alt
hough there s something to be said for their disinterest in fucking, I guess.
I was frustrated yesterday, but not for my own incompetence as a friend, which I
should have been more concerned with. Student activism deterred me from doing
anything mildly productive outside of consuming expensive tacos, hopping non-fe
nces, and convincing photographers that I was not pissed. I m trying to replace
irreconcilability with honesty but this is a collision of worlds I m not accusto
med to. WHATEVER, I ve alleviated some tension today. It was a humbling experien
ce.]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>call-me-the-hit-man-cuz-i-make-you-wanna-call-time-out</wp:post_na
me>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>I may not have had sex but I could fuck you up</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/03/09/i-may-not-have-had-sex-but-i-could-fuc
k-you-up/</link>
]></category>
ategory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I ve been a little crazy with post deletion lately and
for that, I apologize. Self-doubt and shit, y all.
My life has been compulsive eating and sky rockets in flight and sizzurp and enr
olling in classes that don t actually have anything to do with my major. As it s
tands, I will be taking German 3, Nudity in the Western Tradition, and Computer
Literacy for my spring quarter. That last one is a complete joke, but it was the
only open class I could find that didn t conflict with the film classes I m try
ing to crash. When I told my older sister that I was taking Computer Literacy sh
e said, "Sweet, reading the Internet!"
I m not sure how I feel about this email I got this morning:
<blockquote>Dear UCSC residential students:
We have received reports of an individual (described below) approaching female s
tudents on campus, attempting to engage them in inappropriate sexually suggestiv
e conversation, trying to find out where they live, and touching them inappropri
ately. He also attempts to gain entry to residential buildings and approach fema
le students in their rooms.
We ask for all students to be vigilant in reporting this individual to campus po
lice by calling 911 immediately upon seeing him. Campus police are aware of this
matter as are the Community Safety officers. These staff, as well as residentia
l staff in the colleges are also on the lookout for him.
Description: He is described as approximately 6 feet tall, African American, app
roximately 20 -25 years of age. He seems to be mentally challenged and this is e
vident upon talking with him. He was recently seen wearing khaki pants, brown lo
afers, a red white and blue striped, button down shirt and a navy beanie. He som
etimes carries a large backpack.
In addition to calling 911 immediately upon seeing this individual, please remem
ber the following safety precautions:
-Never let anyone unknown to you follow you into a secure residential facility
-Keep you room door locked
-Walk with friends at night
-Be aware of your surroundings and always report suspicious persons or situation
s to campus police.
Thank you for your vigilance in this matter, and your assistance in keeping the
campus safe.</blockquote>
I mean <em>there are things I could say about it</em>, but I d rather let the te
xt speak for itself because it s fucking ridiculous.]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>i-may-not-have-had-sex-but-i-could-fuck-you-up</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
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</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Picture 3</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/03/11/ive-found-my-new-procrastination-tool/
picture-3-2/</link>
]></category>
<wp:post_name>picture-3-2</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
small";s:22:"height= 96 width= 85 ";s:4:"file";s:21:"2010/03/Picture-3.png";s:5
:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:21:"Picture-3-150x150.png";s:5:"
width";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:21:"Pict
ure-3-268x300.png";s:5:"width";s:3:"268";s:6:"height";s:3:"300";}}s:10:"image_me
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>I've found my new procrastination tool</title>
</link>
gory>
gory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[creepy]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="creepy"><![CDATA[creepy]]></cat
egory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter
size-full wp-image-914" title="" src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-con
tent/uploads/2010/03/Picture-3.png" alt="" width="453" height="507" /><a href="h
ttp://mrdoob.com/projects/harmony/">For serious</a></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-919"
title="" src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/cat
1-300x254.png" alt="" width="300" height="254" /></p>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>ive-found-my-new-procrastination-tool</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>cat</title>
cat-2/</link>
]></category>
2010/03/cat1.png</guid>
<wp:post_name>cat-2</wp:post_name>
/cat1.png</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/03/cat1.png</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
small";s:23:"height= 96 width= 113 ";s:4:"file";s:16:"2010/03/cat1.png";s:5:"si
zes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:16:"cat1-150x150.png";s:5:"width";s:
3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:16:"cat1-300x254.
png";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"254";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:
"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";
s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length";s:1:
"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}}</wp:met
a_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Curl-footed</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/03/14/curl-footed/</link>
<pubDate>Sun, 14 Mar 2010 19:08:09 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Barnacles continually dwell in their shells and inhabi
t shallow waters, deeming it necessary for them to be well equipped for water lo
ss when the intertidal zone desiccates. The barnacle is a type of arthropod rela
ted to crustaceans such as crabs and lobsters, but alas, it is not as mobile or
awesome as a crab or lobster.
"Oh, barnacles" is a phrase often used by Spongebob in place of a more offensive
expletive.
<em>Spongebob Squarepants</em> is a show you are familiar with.]]></content:enco
ded>
<wp:post_name>curl-footed</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Deadpan</title>
<pubDate>Thu, 18 Mar 2010 06:59:36 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
2010/03/Deadpan.gif</guid>
<wp:post_name>deadpan</wp:post_name>
/Deadpan.gif</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/03/Deadpan.gif</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
small";s:22:"height= 96 width= 96 ";s:4:"file";s:19:"2010/03/Deadpan.gif";s:10:
"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"
";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s
:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"t
itle";s:0:"";}}</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Spring Break</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/03/19/spring-break/</link>
]></category>
/category>
ategory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[My appearance bears no emotion. I am a sponge cake zom
bie with deadpan intonations. <strong>BUT IT S SPRING BREAK, Y ALL! </strong>Tod
ay is a day I don t have to worry about final exams, article drafts one two thre
e, waking up at 8AM to speak gibberish, or not seeing Jamie Stewart because <em>
I TOTALLY AM</em> at the Crepe Place tonight. That s right. Chocolate makes you
happy. Free sandwiches from a friend s work are causing <em>me </em>happiness at
present.
I m excited for the next few days but I am also anxious for being at the mercy o
f other people s planning. Actually, no. Wut wut in that but. I m excited.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKb9XQ39-zc]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>spring-break</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_key>_oembed_ca835619698fa345aaa209c42b138455</wp:meta_key>
//www.youtube.com/v/LKb9XQ39-zc&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" valu
rc="http://www.youtube.com/v/LKb9XQ39-zc&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-fla
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</item>
<item>
<title>There's a buzz in my backside</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/03/20/theres-a-buzz-in-my-backside/</link>
<pubDate>Sun, 21 Mar 2010 04:49:41 +0000</pubDate>
category>
]></category>
ategory>
/category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[Xiu Xiu]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="xiu-xiu"><![CDATA[Xiu Xiu]]></c
ategory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Hey man, I know that I know shit about music. I know t
hat I like experimental post-rock. I know that I stood three feet away from Ja
mie Stewart last night. I know that I felt his sweat, that I saw his pores, and
that the fangirl next to me was creaming her pants at the mere thought of being
in my place, despite the fact that the dude closes his eyes the entire time just
like my morbidly shy German professor. I know that Xiu Xiu probably played <em>
way too fucking loud</em> for a venue of that size, that I m still deaf from the
show, and that this paragraph should end soon before my insides turn into artif
icially scented feminine hygiene product. I GOT CHILLS. THEY RE ELECTRIFYING.
Stuffing myself in the back of a pickup truck and then getting a ride to campus
from a (separate) saintly fellow led to a gathering of chemically altered states
at an apartment occupied by new and old friends. I am glad to know them. It was
comforting to get the jitters again and to reject my previous belief in utter u
nfeeling. Curmudgeonliness isn t hip. Misanthropy is something I will inevitably
return to, but I m hoping these words will make their rounds again, that I ll l
ook at this memory in its less-than-transient glory (thanks, Wordpress), and I l
l have some fondness for previous socialsuccesses. Feelings are funny things.
This morning was accompanied by (now familiar) wobbliness and apprehension but I
resolved the latter by joining old folks. BART, Shanghai in the 30s, food of
the Vietnamese *and* Indian varieties, man. I d like to see El Norte through the
eyes of juvenile confreres, but I m not entirely worried about that right now.
<a title="Kensington, CA" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kelsums/4448856695/
"><img class="aligncenter" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2794/4448856695_9
325ff5774.jpg" alt="Kensington, CA" width="500" height="333" /></a>]]></content:
encoded>
<wp:post_name>theres-a-buzz-in-my-backside</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>???</title>
<pubDate>Wed, 24 Mar 2010 00:30:58 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Oh who am I kidding.]]></content:encoded>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Inhibited</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/03/25/inhibited/</link>
]></category>
ategory>
/category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I m indirectly writing you all letters every time I pu
blish something. Frustrating, abstruse self-censorship plays a large part in my
posts. I could fulminate against your voyeurism, but that s cliché and a charact
er trait I thrive on inasmuch as it makes breaking the fourth wall possible. I a
m posing prose.
er" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4011/4464005012_78acc95143.jpg" alt="" w
idth="500" height="333" /></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kelsums/4463228193/" title=""><img class="
aligncenter" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2799/4463228193_2b7dd46dc9.jpg
" width="500" height="333" alt="" /></a>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>inhibited</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>In dreams, I walk with you</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/03/26/in-dreams-i-walk-with-you/</link>
<pubDate>Sat, 27 Mar 2010 07:37:31 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
egory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[There were hundreds of thousands of ants marching alon
g my dorm room s ceiling, in lines of at least a foot in width. I was vehemently
crying and shrieking about my powerlessness in the situation: my inability to s
top the ants from coming into my space. A masked individual told me to calm down
. He said that the ants would continue their pronounced route and that I need no
t disrupt it.
A very Los Angeles hipster, who in real life proceeds to trifle with me, led me
to a bed of florals, folderol, and feigned interest. In between locks of blonde
hair, I spotted a sizable spider crawling upon the window sill. At first, I was
amused by the hipster sobliviousness, but soon became afraid of the spider and
told him to dispose of it. He laughed and placed it under glass.
When I was younger, I had countless nightmares about black ladybugs. My backyard
was home to beetles that resembled ladybugs because they were spotted, but were
far too long and of varying colors to actually be ladybugs. I suppose these imp
ostors influenced said nightmares. However, beetles have been replaced with inse
cts that now disturb me.
That isn t to say that I don t like insects. I think insects are fascinating. I
often imagine prehistoric insects that are larger than my fat house cat when I m
not daydreaming about the Internet or Christian Bale. I don t think the insects
of my nightmares are metaphors because that would be putting far too much conse
quence in the clusterfuck that is my nocturnal brain activity. Nevertheless, I l
ike these dreams, and I think dreams are important, be it solely the mere powers
of recall.]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>in-dreams-i-walk-with-you</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
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</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>8dab2c47213e9d34b73b088dc211d2cf</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/03/27/yeah-ha-ee-ha-ee-ha-mmm/8dab2c47213e9d
34b73b088dc211d2cf/</link>
]></category>
2010/03/8dab2c47213e9d34b73b088dc211d2cf.gif</guid>
<wp:post_name>8dab2c47213e9d34b73b088dc211d2cf</wp:post_name>
/8dab2c47213e9d34b73b088dc211d2cf.gif</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/03/8dab2c47213e9d34b73b088dc211d2cf.gif</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
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73b088dc211d2cf.gif";s:5:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:44:"8dab
2c47213e9d34b73b088dc211d2cf-150x150.gif";s:5:"width";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3
:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:44:"8dab2c47213e9d34b73b088dc211d2cf-300x
110.gif";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"110";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{
s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0
:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length";
s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}}</wp
:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Yeah, ha-ee, ha-ee, ha-mmm</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/03/27/yeah-ha-ee-ha-ee-ha-mmm/</link>
]></category>
/uploads/2010/03/8dab2c47213e9d34b73b088dc211d2cf.gif"><img class="aligncenter s
ize-full wp-image-979" title="8dab2c47213e9d34b73b088dc211d2cf" src="http://www.
notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/8dab2c47213e9d34b73b088dc211d
2cf.gif" alt="" width="528" height="194" /></a>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>yeah-ha-ee-ha-ee-ha-mmm</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Wednesday</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/03/29/wed/wednesday/</link>
]></category>
2010/03/wednesday.gif</guid>
<wp:post_name>wednesday</wp:post_name>
/wednesday.gif</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/03/wednesday.gif</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
small";s:23:"height= 96 width= 115 ";s:4:"file";s:21:"2010/03/wednesday.gif";s:
5:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:21:"wednesday-150x150.gif";s:5:
"width";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:21:"wed
nesday-300x249.gif";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"249";}}s:10:"image_m
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>WED</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/03/29/wed/</link>
gory>
ategory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[I fucking love pitt pens]]></cat
egory>
<category domain="tag" nicename="i-fucking-love-pitt-pens"><![CD
ATA[I fucking love pitt pens]]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Here s a thing I drew. It says Wednesday (or rather, t
he colloquial WED ) because I drew it on a Wednesday.
<a href="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/wednesday
.gif"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-986" title="Wednesday" src="htt
p://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/wednesday.gif" alt=""
width="450" height="374" /></a>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>wed</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>animation</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/04/05/lurk-a-derka-derka-derka/animation/</l
ink>
]></category>
2010/04/animation.gif</guid>
<wp:post_name>animation</wp:post_name>
/animation.gif</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
small";s:23:"height= 96 width= 128 ";s:4:"file";s:21:"2010/04/animation.gif";s:
5:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:21:"animation-150x150.gif";s:5:
"width";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:21:"ani
mation-300x225.gif";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"225";}}s:10:"image_m
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/04/animation.gif</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Lurk a derka derka derka</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/04/05/lurk-a-derka-derka-derka/</link>
]></category>
ategory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[My classes have been alright. Thankfully, I didn t hav
e to stay enrolled in Computer Literary because I snagged a spot in History of T
elevision. It s supposed to be a continuation of another class I took about tele
vision but it looks like we re going over a lot of the same material. Oh well. I
have the option of writing a film journal about Lady Gaga s music video for "Te
lephone," Michael Jackson s "Thriller," The Buggles "Video Killed the Radio Sta
r," or <em>Network</em> this week.
My mom deleted me from Facebook. I wonder how many other people can say the same
thing?
I haven t written in my journal for over a month. I guess I don t need to convin
ce myself of anything anymore. It s refreshing. I don t feel so crazy. Errrrrr b
ad-crazy. I will still have bubblegum parties in the lawless state of Arizona.
<a href="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/catparty.
gif"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-997" title="Cat Party" src="http
://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/catparty.gif" alt="" w
idth="500" height="375" /></a>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>lurk-a-derka-derka-derka</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_author><![CDATA[grants for women]]></wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>pausleal@simps.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://www.findgrantsforwomen.com</wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[well written blog. Im glad that I could find more i
nfo on this. thanks]]></wp:comment_content>
<wp:comment_approved>spam</wp:comment_approved>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>Cat Party</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/04/05/lurk-a-derka-derka-derka/catparty/</li
nk>
]></category>
2010/04/catparty.gif</guid>
<wp:post_name>catparty</wp:post_name>
/catparty.gif</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/04/catparty.gif</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
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:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:20:"catparty-150x150.gif";s:5:"w
idth";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:20:"catpa
rty-300x225.gif";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"225";}}s:10:"image_meta
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Adventure Time</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/04/06/algebraic/adventure-time/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 07 Apr 2010 05:04:27 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
2010/04/Adventure-Time.jpg</guid>
<wp:post_name>adventure-time</wp:post_name>
/Adventure-Time-e1270616729235.jpg</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/04/Adventure-Time-e1270616729235.jpg</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
small";s:23:"height= 88 width= 128 ";s:4:"file";s:41:"2010/04/Adventure-Time-e1
270616729235.jpg";s:5:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:26:"Adventu
re-Time-150x150.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";
a:3:{s:4:"file";s:26:"Adventure-Time-300x208.jpg";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"hei
ght";s:3:"208";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0
:"";s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:
9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter
_speed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}}</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_key>_wp_attachment_backup_sizes</wp:meta_key>
<wp:meta_value>a:1:{s:9:"full-orig";a:3:{s:5:"width";s:3:"900";s:6:"height";s:3:
"626";s:4:"file";s:18:"Adventure-Time.jpg";}}</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Algebraic!</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/04/06/algebraic/</link>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[Adventure Time]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="adventure-time"><![CDATA[Advent
ure Time]]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[animation]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="animation"><![CDATA[animation]]
></category>
/uploads/2010/04/Adventure-Time-e1270616729235.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size
-full wp-image-1001" title="Adventure Time" src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpr
ess/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/Adventure-Time-e1270616729235.jpg" alt="" width="
500" height="347" /></a>
"Adventure Time" is this super awesome animated TV show that I fell in love with
via YouTube even before its premiere last night on Cartoon Network. The first e
pisode originally aired on Nickelodeon and while I m not sure why it didn t get
picked up by Nickelodeon, (subversiveness / absurdity shouldn t be an issue for
the same channel that aired "Ren and Stimpy") Cartoon Network makes sense since
Pendleton Ward (the creator) did storyboards for "The Marvelous Misadventures of
Flapjack," another show on CN that I know and love.
I mean, look at that fucking <em>Rainacorn</em>. Rainbows + unicorns? Genius. I
love the character design, I love that Jake (the dog) is voiced by the same dude
who does Bender s voice ("Futurerama"), I love the adult references, I love "lu
mpy space" and its inhabitants valley girl accents, I love Finn s hat, and, I s
uppose most importantly, I love being excited about an animated television show
again.
Should I apologize for the mass of evaluative statements that comprise this post
? I dunno. <a href="http://adventuretime.tumblr.com/post/500668945/best-quote-ev
er-so-i-drew-it-into-a-picture">Whatever! It s 2009, okay?!</a> Seriously though
. Mondays @ 8. Do it.
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adventure_Time_with_Finn_and_Jake">Adventu
re Time Wikipedia page</a>, <a href="http://www.cartoonnetwork.com/tv_shows/prom
otion_landing_page/adventuretime/index.html">official website</a>]]></content:en
coded>
<wp:post_name>algebraic</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[So hoping Hulu is amazing.]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Doubt it, you ll have to find it elsewhere... or li
ke, record it?]]></wp:comment_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>pleasureheads</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/04/07/my-brain-tricked-my-hands-to-believe-t
hey-were-strong/pleasureheads/</link>
]></category>
2010/04/pleasureheads.png</guid>
<wp:post_name>pleasureheads</wp:post_name>
/pleasureheads-e1270673389769.png</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/04/pleasureheads-e1270673389769.png</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
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70673389769.png";s:5:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:25:"pleasure
heads-150x150.png";s:5:"width";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:
3:{s:4:"file";s:25:"pleasureheads-300x191.png";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height
";s:3:"191";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:8:"aperture";s:1:"0";s:6:"credit";s:0:""
;s:6:"camera";s:0:"";s:7:"caption";s:0:"";s:17:"created_timestamp";s:1:"0";s:9:"
copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";s:13:"shutter_sp
eed";s:1:"0";s:5:"title";s:0:"";}}</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_key>_wp_attachment_backup_sizes</wp:meta_key>
<wp:meta_value>a:1:{s:9:"full-orig";a:3:{s:5:"width";s:3:"687";s:6:"height";s:3:
"439";s:4:"file";s:17:"pleasureheads.png";}}</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>My brain tricked my hands to believe they were strong</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/04/07/my-brain-tricked-my-hands-to-believe-t
hey-were-strong/</link>
gory>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[collage]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="collage"><![CDATA[collage]]></c
ategory>
egory>
/uploads/2010/04/pleasureheads-e1270673389769.png"><img class="aligncenter size-
full wp-image-1006" title="pleasureheads" src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpres
s/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/pleasureheads-e1270673389769.png" alt="" width="500
" height="319" /></a>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>my-brain-tricked-my-hands-to-believe-they-were-strong</wp:post_nam
e>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[Those are some familiar... leaves.]]></wp:comment_c
ontent>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[And torso I m assuming? :D Art, man.]]></wp:comment
_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>Anton</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/04/07/responsiblity-to-the-responsible/anton
/</link>
]></category>
2010/04/Anton.png</guid>
<wp:post_name>anton</wp:post_name>
/Anton.png</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/04/Anton.png</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
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izes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:17:"Anton-150x150.png";s:5:"width";
s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:17:"Anton-300x2
13.png";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"213";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s
meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Responsibility to the responsible</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/04/07/responsiblity-to-the-responsible/</lin
k>
gory>
ategory>
egory>
/uploads/2010/04/Anton.png"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-1009" tit
le="Anton" src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/An
ton.png" alt="" width="400" height="284" /></a>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>responsiblity-to-the-responsible</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Selected Ambient Works</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/04/11/selected-ambient-works/</link>
]></category>
/category>
category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I ve been dismayingly uninspired lately and it doesn t
help that I m already so limited in this arena.There have been occasions that
have confirmed self-deprecating sentiments. Self-deprecating is a term I use h
alf-willingly. Naturally, I don t think there s much to take from if I m making
these sorts of evaluations in the first place. I can spin this though, I can. I
am good at existing, for example. I am a taking-up-space extraordinaire. Everyon
e s favorite misanthrope. I can help you verify your own intelligence by mere ju
xtaposition.
I m tracing the same shapes over and over again. These suspicions are nothing ne
w. I feel that I ve just been regurgitating whatever insecurities I developed in
my formative years, but disguising them in some convoluted language in hopes of
validating otherwise unfounded angst. Unfounded angst. Now there s a redundant
phrase. Case in point.
I mean, Trent Reznor has been replaced with Jaime Stewart and my bright purple f
ishnets are solid black tights now.
I would like to engage in sedate conversation with the perspicacious journalist.
Like "Xtal" by Aphex Twin on repeat. Slow motion elation. I remember warmth and
vibrations from current bouts. Even so, it was fleeting and I was scared immedi
ately. I crawled into cramped spaces of unresponsiveness and closed doors. Morta
lity reminds me that I need to stop closing doors. Not my own mortality, as migh
t be expected. It s never <em>your own</em> mortality.
But yeah. Loose ends. Pretension. I m off to bounty bread now. (Apparently it s
a suicide mission?)]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>selected-ambient-works</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_author><![CDATA[ewwrxkedmz]]></wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>qlwhrp@evjlkd.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://fudljrawgnor.com/</wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[hAclEo <a href="http://jzexyfjrjrcv.com/" rel="nof
ollow">jzexyfjrjrcv</a>, [url=http://mkamrmxtgrad.com/]mkamrmxtgrad[/url], [link
=http://wremwxrfwnmp.com/]wremwxrfwnmp[/link], http://hqqdwocrhdku.com/]]></wp:c
omment_content>
</wp:comment>
<wp:comment>
<wp:comment_author><![CDATA[fepesbzgs]]></wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>tnwdvf@chblao.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://uhzqqygcwatz.com/</wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_content><![CDATA[rN1bhi <a href="http://pewhzjcrkqap.com/" rel="nof
ollow">pewhzjcrkqap</a>, [url=http://piffpxtedrgs.com/]piffpxtedrgs[/url], [link
=http://zsxhqwmotimb.com/]zsxhqwmotimb[/link], http://arfsyymauoio.com/]]></wp:c
omment_content>
</wp:comment>
</item>
<item>
<title>How to determine if a film has enough female characters</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/04/13/how-to-determine-if-a-film-has-enough-
female-characters/</link>
/category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<ul>
<li>There are at least two <em>named</em> female characters</li>
<li>who have a conversation</li>
<li>about something other than men or a man</li></ul>
]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>how-to-determine-if-a-film-has-enough-female-characters</wp:post_n
ame>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>The Microsoft Word is "procrastination" </title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/04/14/the-microsoft-word-is-procrastination/
</link>
]></category>
egory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I love pseudo lesbians;
(teenagers in thigh highs and garter belts)
they ve invaded my Internet
with their deceitful beckoning
it s okay though
I will continue my menstruobjectification
and they their exhibits]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>the-microsoft-word-is-procrastination</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>girlmonster</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/04/14/all-you-know-about-me-is-what-ive-sold
-you/girlmonster/</link>
]></category>
2010/04/girlmonster.png</guid>
<wp:post_name>girlmonster</wp:post_name>
/girlmonster.png</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/04/girlmonster.png</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
small";s:23:"height= 92 width= 128 ";s:4:"file";s:23:"2010/04/girlmonster.png";
s:5:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:23:"girlmonster-150x150.png";
"girlmonster-300x216.png";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"216";}}s:10:"i
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>lady1</title>
-you/lady-2/</link>
]></category>
2010/04/lady1.png</guid>
<wp:post_name>lady-2</wp:post_name>
/lady1.png</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/04/lady1.png</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
small";s:22:"height= 96 width= 57 ";s:4:"file";s:17:"2010/04/lady1.png";s:5:"si
zes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:17:"lady1-150x150.png";s:5:"width";s
:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:17:"lady1-180x30
0.png";s:5:"width";s:3:"180";s:6:"height";s:3:"300";}}s:10:"image_meta";a:10:{s:
eta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>bunnyhat</title>
-you/bunnyhat/</link>
]></category>
2010/04/bunnyhat.png</guid>
<wp:post_name>bunnyhat</wp:post_name>
/bunnyhat.png</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/04/bunnyhat.png</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
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:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:20:"bunnyhat-150x150.png";s:5:"w
idth";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:20:"bunny
hat-300x208.png";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"208";}}s:10:"image_meta
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</item>
<item>
<title>All you know about me is what I've sold you</title>
-you/</link>
gory>
ategory>
ategory>
egory>
/uploads/2010/04/girlmonster.png"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-102
9" src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/girlmonste
r.png" alt="" width="400" height="289" /></a> <a href="http://www.notkelsey.com/
wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/lady1.png"><img class="aligncenter size-ful
l wp-image-1033" src="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010
/04/lady1.png" alt="" width="300" height="498" /></a>
Lynn let me borrow her Wacom tablet today! :) I haven t drawn on the computer in
<em>forever</em> so I was surprised to find that I could get back into it prett
y easily.
<a href="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/bunnyhat.
png"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-1034" src="http://www.notkelsey.
com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/bunnyhat.png" alt="" width="377" height
="262" /></a>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>all-you-know-about-me-is-what-ive-sold-you</wp:post_name>
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<item>
<title>cat</title>
]></category>
2010/04/cat.gif</guid>
<wp:post_name>cat</wp:post_name>
/cat.gif</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/04/cat.gif</wp:meta_value>
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s";a:1:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:15:"cat-150x150.gif";s:5:"width";s:3:"
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p";s:1:"0";s:9:"copyright";s:0:"";s:12:"focal_length";s:1:"0";s:3:"iso";s:1:"0";
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<item>
<pubDate>Sun, 18 Apr 2010 19:19:22 +0000</pubDate>
]></category>
2010/04/notkelsey.gif</guid>
<wp:post_name>notkelsey-2</wp:post_name>
/notkelsey.gif</wp:attachment_url>
<wp:postmeta>
<wp:meta_value>2010/04/notkelsey.gif</wp:meta_value>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
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5:"sizes";a:2:{s:9:"thumbnail";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:21:"notkelsey-150x150.gif";s:5:
"width";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:21:"not
kelsey-300x257.gif";s:5:"width";s:3:"300";s:6:"height";s:3:"257";}}s:10:"image_m
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>There's been a change of plan</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/04/19/theres-been-a-change-of-plan/</link>
]></category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Standing in the corner is the quintessential pedophili
ac Buddy Holly. "He s <em>so fucking hot</em>," she whispers, intoxicated, to no
one in particular. I am receptive to this comment, but only so I can move away
from the non-conversation, the identical plaid shirts and dull expressions.Some
one, presumably one of the people I came with, hands me a 32 oz. PBR and I talk
to a man in a bright yellow poncho. He talks to me about Oakland and I slur some
thing about bestiality and Magic the Gathering. "What is it you most desire?" he
asks. My eyes are glazed over with confusion and disinterest, but he repeats th
e question. "Someone who <em>gets it</em>, man," I want to respond. "A nice ass,
" I say. He smirks and asks me if I d like to follow him outside. But I m tired
and the sexy-dark-sexy-sex sounds of Portishead playing in the background put me
on edge. I move into the next room with the expansive DVD collection and Tom Wa
its posters. I feel like a Brett Easton Ellis character (albeit contextually inc
orrect) as the experience of squeezing into this fissure has prefaced some grand
narrative as opposed to escaping failed seduction. I consider reflecting on my
detached state and fancy myself an aloof protagonist until I remember that I hav
e a vagina.Hysteria.]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>theres-been-a-change-of-plan</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Cool story bro</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/04/20/cool-story-bro/</link>
]></category>
egory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I dreamt of externalhard driveslast night.]]></conte
nt:encoded>
<wp:post_name>cool-story-bro</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>Pygmalionism (pig-MAY-lee-uh-niz-uhm)</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/04/21/pygmalionism-pig-may-lee-uh-niz-uhm/</
link>
]></category>
<category domain="tag"><![CDATA[words]]></category>
<category domain="tag" nicename="words"><![CDATA[words]]></categ
ory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[noun:
1. The state of being in love with an object of one s own making.
2. The condition of loving an inanimate object such as a statue or image.]]></co
ntent:encoded>
<wp:post_name>pygmalionism-pig-may-lee-uh-niz-uhm</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
</item>
<item>
<title>I'll tell you when you're older</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/04/25/ill-tell-you-when-youre-older/</link>
]></category>
/category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I am so out of the loop all the time. I mean I guess i
t s a product of self-doubt or whatever but I also feel like it s definitely som
ething that happens to the youngest in the family. Everyone is used to keeping t
hings from the <em>baby</em> and now that I m not a baby, the family forgets to
tell me things because I should know them.
I also obsess over Facebook friend deletion. What was it that I posted that coul
d have reminded so-and-so that they don t like me? What notification did they re
ceive that had my name in it? Why me and not those other people that are still l
isted as their friends, that they re not particularly close to? It s stupid. It
s the story we won t tell. I can t send an inquisitive message to someone I hard
ly talk to because I will not get a response, and that lack of response will fue
l more hair-pulling insanity. It sucks So. Much. when you re not worth a respons
e.
On the other hand, I feel like it s fairly easy to get people to like me. I have
received seemingly genuine apologies for not being a part of plans because of t
he assumption that I already had stuff going on. I can show up to things uninvit
ed without worrying (too much) about being an imposition. I give firm handshakes
. I listen to people, I open my eyes real wide, and I validate points through be
ing extremely amenable. I feel like I ve got giving good first impressions down
pretty well. (Although, to be fair, it can require liquid courage sometimes.)
It s the following up that is the hard part. It s trusting the other person to c
ontinue liking me, to put my guard down, to state my worldview without immediate
ly thinking that it sounds uneducated / ill informed.
It s learning to be an asshole, periodically.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDML1mvc8bY]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>ill-tell-you-when-youre-older</wp:post_name>
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<item>
<title>catbunny</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/04/25/the-ego-and-the-id/catbunny/</link>
]></category>
2010/04/catbunny.jpg</guid>
<wp:post_name>catbunny</wp:post_name>
/catbunny.jpg</wp:attachment_url>
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idth";s:3:"150";s:6:"height";s:3:"150";}s:6:"medium";a:3:{s:4:"file";s:20:"catbu
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</wp:postmeta>
<wp:postmeta>
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</item>
<item>
<title>The ego and the id</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/04/25/the-ego-and-the-id/</link>
gory>
ategory>
egory>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Uh, I didn t mean to make her look like Kate Gosselin.
Oh well.
<a href="http://www.notkelsey.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/catbunny.
jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-1095" src="http://www.notkelsey.
com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/catbunny.jpg" alt="" width="400" height
="306" /></a>]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>the-ego-and-the-id</wp:post_name>
<wp:postmeta>
</wp:postmeta>
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</item>
<item>
<title>Lunatia heros</title>
<link>http://www.notkelsey.com/2010/04/25/lunatia-heros/</link>
]></category>
egory>
category>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[I am shy, nicht wahr?
scared and invasive snail
(pontificator: once upon a time,
"I like the way you think")
play truant: and with yourself in a recent bedroom
play passenger: muzzled and fearful now a sophisticated $4.57
play astute: despite an energetic cacophony of forgotten libretto
occupy oneself, impersonate, represent, render, perform
plunked but functional
no-frills, shark s eyes! bore into that shell]]></content:encoded>
<wp:post_name>lunatia-heros</wp:post_name>
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</channel>
</rss>

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