Table

of Contents
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Epilogue
Also by Shae Scott
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On Paper
Copyrig ht @ 2015 Shae Scott

Published by Shae Scott
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, including electronic or mechanical,
without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, business, places, events and incidents are either products of the authors imagination or used
in a fictitious manner.
Any resemblance to actual person, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Cover Desig n by: Kari Ayasha
Cover to Cover Designs
Formatting : Cassy Roop
Pink Ink Designs


Dedication
To Travis:
The best souvenir I brought home from my trip to San Francisco.
You are the reason I know that one week with a stranger really can change your life forever.






Sometimes I wonder about my life.
I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder,
do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave?
So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book,
when shouldn't it be the other way around?
Kathleen Kelly Youve Got Mail


SOME PEOPLE ARE naturally brave. Even as children they climb to the highest branch of the tree,
jump from highest rung of the monkey bars, or try out for the lead in the school play. They never
seem to worry about what might happen, they jump first and ask questions later. And what amazes me,
is most of the time, it all works out. No matter how high they climb, how far they jump, or how much
they risk it all just falls into place. Is it just that they dont allow for any other outcome, so no other
outcome ever occurs?
Ive always wondered about that.
I am not one of those people. My biggest adventures tend to come from the pages of the books I
read. If you take those into account, Im very well versed. Ive lived through it all. But its easier to
make the risky decisions within the pages of make-believe. Living without a net and chasing
adventure is just better when youre sure to get the happy ending.
No, Ive never been one of those girls youd put in the brave column. Im not going to jump
without a net. In fact, Im not even climbing the ladder unless I have a solid plan in place for what
happens when I get to the top. I like logic. I like questions and I like safe. I dont see anything wrong
with being careful. Its called being prepared.
I dont need the thrill of adrenaline. I dont crave the free fall. Im perfectly happy living my life
that way.
Not everyone is cut out to jump off the cliff. Someone has to stay behind and call 911 when
something goes terribly wrong. That person is me.
And while I may not always take adventures, I tend to surround myself with people who do. It has
always been enough, to see it from the safety of the outside; to share the thrill instead of breathe it in
as my own.
But sometimes the adventure finds you. Sometimes, its like you never even had a choice. It
beckons you, seduces you, it takes you so suddenly and so completely that before you know it you
have given up your spot on the sidelines and youre free-falling into something you may never walk
away from in one piece.



WHEELS SLAMMED AGAINST the pavement as the plane touched down and propelled me forward
in my seat. I braced myself against the seatback in front of me and craned my head against the tiny
window only to see plain, nondescript concrete. Sitting back, I glanced over at my best friend, and
roommate, Lily. She yawned, waking up from her in-flight nap. I'd been too excited to sleep. I had
tried to read, my favorite way to spend any down time, but I was too antsy.
"I have a kink in my neck," Lily groaned, trying to stretch out in the tiny, cramped row of seats, her
hand hitting me in the face. I rolled my eyes as I pushed it away.
"Well, you were sleeping like the dead. The flight attendant was worried until you started snoring
like a lumberjack," I teased.
"Shut up, Quinn, I dont snore, she scolded. She was smiling though, her excitement mounting
now that we had landed.
"You keep telling yourself that, Lil," I laughed.
She ignored me and leaned over my lap to sneak a peek out the window.
"Unimpressive," she sighed as the plane rolled along the runway towards our gate.
"It's an airport. They don't typically rank high on tourist attractions," I smiled. I didn't bother
admitting that I'd been staring out the window, too, in hopes of seeing the bay or maybe Alcatraz. I'd
never been to San Francisco, but it had always topped my list of hopeful destinations.
This trip was a graduation present from my parents. I'd just graduated from the University of
Missouri and because Id spent the better part of my life buried in the pages of a book, they had
arranged to send Lily and me away to one of the biggest book conventions around. I was ecstatic; an
entire week in San Francisco surrounded by books. Obviously, they knew me well.
Some people wanted to go abroad, or lounge around on the beach, but I was a self proclaimed
book nerd; a book convention with my best friend was pretty much top of the line for me. I didn't care
if that made me weird.
Lucky for me, Lily and I shared a love of fiction. We'd spent our formative teenage years living on
my mom's Harlequin books and a steady diet of Nicholas Sparks and Nora Roberts. Like the books
we loved, we had evolved into more diverse readers. But, we still loved romance best and more than
anything we loved talking about new books we had discovered. Finding new amazing authors was like
a game; both of us wanting to introduce a book to the other and watch them fall in love. It was like
sharing an amazing secret. We would talk for hours about the characters, fall in love with them, cry
with them, laugh with them. It was one of our favorite pastimes and it connected us.
So, yeah, this trip was the best gift I could have wished for. I was giddy with excitement and
anxious to get out of this airport and to the hotel.
We padded our way to the baggage claim chattering randomly as we joined the crowd of waiting
passengers. I stared at the opening, spitting out bags, as my head bobbed to the loud beeping of the
baggage alert, my foot tapping impatiently. The belt turned slowly, carrying everyone's luggage past
but ours. I had nearly convinced myself that our bags were lost somewhere in Dallas when my
familiar red bag with the sock monkey luggage tag hanging from the zipper drifted by.
Bags in hand we headed out to the line waiting for cabs. The air was cool and I pulled my jacket

closed against the breeze.

"You think we'll go over the bridge?" Lily asked. She had a handful of pamphlets in her hand,
having grabbed them while we were waiting on our bags.
"I hope so," I beamed. I couldn't wait to see the famous Golden Gate Bridge in person, especially
with the fog rolling in over the water. I didn't even care that Lil and I were the epitome of tourists
right now. I was going to embrace it. I hadn't traveled much in my life, my family vacations had
consisted only of the occasional camping trip or weekend in Branson. Id certainly never traveled
much on my own.
I followed Lily into a cab and let out the tiny squeal of excitement that I'd been working at holding
in since we'd landed.
As expected, San Francisco was beautiful. It was an instant love affair, the perfect backdrop for this
week. I wanted to freeze time and just stay here forever. I looked over at Lily as she shivered in the
seat next to me. She was always cold, a sun goddess at heart. I, on the other hand, was made for cloudy
days and cool temperatures. I loved them, they soothed me. Too much sunshine made me grumpy. I
know, that sounds crazy, but I think some people are just made for shadows. To me there was
something comforting about the clouds and the rain; the way they hung around you like a blanket or
washed away every worry. It invited you to cozy up, reflect, and lose yourself in a story. It was my
happy place.
Thats not to say I was some dark and twisty kind of girl. I was far from emo, but I wasnt someone
who minded being on my own. I'd grown up an only child and I was used to entertaining myself.
When I was growing up people would give me a hard time about always reading. "What a lonely
hobby," they would say. "How will you meet new people if you spend all of your time with your nose
stuck in a book?" What they didn't understand was that I had a million friends; each character I read
about became my confidant. I listened to their secrets. I kept them close. I lived a million adventures
and lived a thousand different lives within those pages. And as I got older, those experiences led me to
a whole new set of people I called friends. Friends I couldn't wait to meet this week.
When we made it to the hotel it was already packed. The lobby was a swarm of people, luggage
and chatter. It was a bit overwhelming to take in after our early flight and busy morning, but it also
gave me a surge of adrenaline. I bounced from foot to foot, anxious for the check-in line to move
faster. I wanted to get upstairs and change so I could explore. I didnt want to leave an inch of this
hotel or this city untouched. I wanted to soak up every moment of this trip, determined to make every
second count.
Once we had our keys we headed towards the bank of elevators. There were crowds of people
milling about and as we passed. I was surprised when I recognized a few authors and I felt a surge of
excitement rush through me. The rest of the world could have their rock stars; my fangirling was
reserved for the genius behind the words that filled my days. Words that had pulled me from darkness
or allowed me to escape a crappy day. It was so much more than flash, it was emotion and the
creativity was always enough to turn me giddy. At least no one here thought it odd. We were all in this
together.
We didn't spend too much time in the room. A quick freshen up and we headed back downstairs to
join the fray. We didn't even stop to unpack and that was saying something, because I always
unpacked. This time the draw was just too strong. I wasn't going to wait another moment.



MY ALARM BEGAN its annoying tune of torture and I groaned in protest. Long arms tightened
around me, soft hands sliding up my naked torso. I searched my memory trying to recall the face of
the woman who was currently pressed against me. I could feel bare tits rubbing against my back and a
smooth leg tangled with my own.
I think her name was Shannon. We'd met in the lobby bar and after two cocktails she'd suggested a
private nightcap. Who was I to refuse such an offer? She was a tiny little thing. To be honest, I'd
thought I might break her. That's not arrogance; the girl was seriously tiny. I probably could have
carried her around in my pocket for as tall as she was. From the way she twisted her body, I wondered
if she was some sort of gymnast. I smiled as I felt her mouth leave slow, wet kisses against my spine,
bringing back memories of the night before. It had me doing a quick calculation to see if I had time
for a repeat performance.
"You don't have to leave just yet do you?" she cooed softly.
"I have to be downstairs in an hour," I said, moving to lie on my back. She crawled on top of me,
her hair creating a curtain of waves that brushed across my chest.
"An hour? I can do a whole lot with an hour," she smiled. I watched as she leaned forward and
kissed my chest. My hand gripped her hair gently, loving the way her mouth moved against my skin.
"Hmmm," I hummed as she moved lower. A morning blow job sounded like a great way to start
this day off and tiny Shannon was more than happy to oblige.

GIANT BOOK CONVENTIONS could be intense. You wouldn't expect it, a bunch of readers getting
together to party it up for a week. Snoozefest, right? Wrong. Not romance readers. Not my readers.
They were always up for a party. And you put them all together in some fancy hotel and give them
permission to let loose away from responsibility and you'd better watch out.
I loved it. I always had a good time. They were long and exhausting, but I got to meet all kinds of
people. More than that, I got to know them. These were the people who took the time to actually read
my books. That was a big deal to me. I might take a lot of shit for granted, but I wasn't so much of an
ass that I didn't truly appreciate that. They'd allowed me to live a life that I loved.
My brother, Miles, and I walked through the maze of halls and meeting rooms in search of 26C.
Well, Miles searched; I followed and waved at people as we walked. I felt a bit like a show pony, but I
liked being a show pony. Miles was also my assistant at things like this. He made sure I was on time,
helped me carry my shit, and in return I gave him money and free travel. He was my best friend, so it
worked out for both of us.
"What is this panel on again?" I asked. Might as well be prepared.
"Sex in Fiction," Miles answered. The fact that he'd said that with a straight face made me laugh.

Two dudes walking through a hotel, at a romance book convention talking about sex panels. How was
this our life?
"Sex in Fiction," I mused. "Never a dull day."
"You're job is weird," Miles agreed.
I walked into the room preoccupied and lost in my own thoughts. The instant squeals and cat calls
put an abrupt end to that. Holy shit. This room was wall to wall women clutching their book bags and
fanning their vaginas. The decibels ringing in my ear were enough to leave me with tunnel hearing
for the next week. I gave them all a wave and a smirk and made my way to the empty chair at the table.
"It's loud in here," I laughed leaning over to one of my panel-mates. She was beautiful; copper hair
cascading down her back, creamy skin, with a hint of blush coloring her cheeks. I couldn't remember
her name off the top of my head, but I'm pretty sure I had fucked her at a signing in Vegas last year.
She rolled her eyes and went about straightening up the stack of books in front of her. Yep, that
was her. I don't know why she was so hell bent on ignoring me. Id given her a night that I was pretty
sure had inspired that best-seller sitting in front of her. She should be thanking me and begging for a
sequel.
This is why I had sworn off screwing fellow authors. They put too much shit into their books. It
was like therapy for them. They couldn't help themselves. I didn't need that kind of drama. No sense in
having my escapades coming back to bite me in the ass later. Everyone in this group talked. There
were no secrets. I'd learned my lesson quick.
I leaned back and scanned the crowd. Readers. So many readers. They all bounced in their seats
excitedly, eyes glued to those of us sitting up front behind this huge table. I glanced down the line and
gave my colleagues a smile. Luckily, Red here beside me was the only one holding a grudge today.
They all had books and swag spread out in front of them. I'd brought nothing. Apparently today I was
my own swag.
The moderator called everyone to attention and I listened as she introduced us all. I was the only
male on the panel. Hell, I was practically the only male at this entire conference. I'd fallen into this
whole romance author thing by accident. I'd never expected it to turn in to what it was. Hell, I wasn't
even that good of a writer if I was being honest. But I had a nice smile and a penis and that seemed to
make up for any shortcomings that I had.
Okay, thats a lie. I actually loved writing. Ive done it my whole life and Im good at it. I had just
always imagined that I'd be writing for some hard-hitting news organization or something. But that
hadn't turned out to be so easy. Competition was fierce and I was just a low man on the totem pole
getting coffee and doing research. I knew I had to pay my dues, but I had been impatient.
Three Christmases ago I was sulking on the couch watching football with my twenty-two year old
cousin, Amber. She was completely absorbed in some book and had barely put it down to have dinner
with the family.
"What are you reading? I'd asked. She glanced over her Kindle and glared at me for interrupting
her.
"It's a love story," she huffed.
Like girl porn?
No, shed growled back.
"Is there sex?" I'd asked.
"Yes. But that doesn't make it porn. It's a modern day fairytale. It's sweet. And sexy. Now shut up so
I can finish," she said, shutting me out.
Modern day fairytale. Women loved shit like that. Real life was never good enough for them.
Everyone wanted some ideal prince charming that didn't exist. It's why they all spent so much money
buying books they could get lost in. If guys were smart theyd read that shit along with the girls and

find out what flipped their switch. They were like a guys playbook on how to get laid.
That night I downloaded my first romance novel. Not that I needed a playbook, mind you, but I was
curious. It was about a shy girl who meets a wealthy bad boy who can't be tamed. Of course he
corrupts her and they have sex in all kinds of crazy places. Like, they have a lot of sex. It's funny, none
of my old girlfriends were into having sex with me in cabs or letting me get them off at the dinner
table. Maybe I was doing something wrong.
Maybe this chick was doing something right.
Maybe I should try my hand at writing fiction. Correction-- Romance. I was a great writer. Well, I
was a great news writer. But I had a healthy sex life, a fine collection of porn, and one hell of an
imagination. Why couldn't I write something that would have ladies swooning?
Turns out, it was fun. Turns out, I was pretty good at it. It was like taking countless women on an
epic fantasy and I got to pretend to be their hero. I didn't believe in any of that love shit, or happilyever-afters in real life, but they were a necessity in the world of make believe so I mastered them too.
I self published my first steamfest six months later. Maybe it's because I'm a guy, but it sold like
crazy. Now, I'm writing all the time, attending book signings and book conventions, and getting laid
like a motherfucker. Crazier things have happened. And now, as I scan this crowded room of panting
ladies I just have to decide who I want to take back to my room with me tonight.
The moderator called the room to attention and I settled in to answer questions about sex in
romance. I was pretty comfortable in front of people. Crowds didn't bother me. And even sitting here
in front of all of these women, the idea of talking about sex just seemed like par for the course. I
wondered how many of them I could make blush with my answers. I chuckled to myself at the thought
and Red glared at me from the corner of her eye. She was definitely bitter.
"Take this seriously," she hissed.
"I always take sex seriously. I'm sure you remember just how serious I take it, don't you?" I gave
her a smirk and took great satisfaction when she scowled and fidgeted uncomfortably.
This was going to be fun.

I DIDN'T SEE her until her friend asked a question. They were sitting towards the back of the room,
but how I'd missed her I couldn't understand. She stood out like a beacon. Her hair was the color of
dark caramel, shiny and long, hanging over her shoulders and resting on the swell of her breasts. I
saw her cheeks pink up as she glanced over at her friend in surprise. Obviously, the thought of asking
a question in the middle of this crowd did not appeal to her. I tried to focus my attention on the
brunette next to her, as I was pretty sure her question was directed to me, but my gaze was locked on
her friend. It's not like she was even dressed provocatively. She was in jeans and a long sleeved black
t-shirt that read Book Nerd but she had a sense of simple grace and -- fuck me I was starting to
sound like one of my books. I shook my head and focused in on the girl asking the question.
"Do you ever get turned on when you are writing steamy scenes?" The crowd laughed and she
smiled, impressed that she'd asked an interesting question.
I gave her a smirk and leaned forward on the table, locking my gaze with hers. "Only if I'm doing
it right," I smiled. I gave her a wink and then stole a glance at her friend again. Her cheeks were
crimson. I liked that she was embarrassed by her friend. I was intrigued by her. It's too bad she seemed
so shy. She probably wasn't the kind of girl to go upstairs with a stranger. Shame. She could have
made a perfect muse. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, even as the moderator thanked everyone for

coming.
The crowds started to converge on the tables, everyone wanting to say hi or get a book signed. I
lost her in the crowd as the group in front of me got bigger.
"Hi. It's so cool to meet you. I've read all of your books. Do you think you'll give Jake and Felicia
their own book?" I smiled at the woman in front of me. She had a copy of my latest title in her hands
and was handing it over for me to sign.
I glanced over her shoulder and saw the person Id been waiting for; a curtain of caramel silk
covering her face. I wished she would toss her hair back so I could get a better look at her. Her friend
caught my eye and gave me a wave. "Thanks for the answer. It was very revealing," she smiled. I
watched as Book Nerd grabbed her friend's sleeve and tugged her forward.
"Anytime. Leaving so fast?" I threw them what I was sure was a charming smile. I wanted them to
wait. I wanted to talk to her quiet sidekick, but she didn't seem interested in the idea at all. In fact, she
barely gave me a glance as she said something under her breath.
"Sorry, we have to be somewhere. Great panel though. Love your books," she threw back at me
while being dragged from the room.
Well, that didn't go well. I watched until they were out of sight before turning my attention back to
woman in front of me. "Sorry, I offered, giving her a smile. I might revisit them. I always thought
Felicia had a bit of a wild side to her. It might be fun to see what kind of trouble she could get into." I
gave her a wink and she seemed to forgive my wandering eye.
I had signed a stack of books before Miles came and reminded me that we had to get going. I
apologized to everyone I hadn't gotten to and promised to see them all again before the week was
over.
We walked through the hotel hallways returning hellos from the people we passed and I listened as
Miles gave me a rundown on the rest of the days schedule.
"You have to meet with Parker in fifteen. I told her we'd meet in her room. You won't get any work
done if you do it in the bar. It shouldn't take long, she just needs you to approve and sign a few things.
You have some free time this afternoon if you want to write or something, but we have to make an
appearance at that shindig tonight. We have a table, so you can give out some swag or books or
something," he said.
I grunted my approval as we reached Parker's door.
The last time I'd spoken to my agent she'd been giving me a hard time about my next project. I'd
been having trouble getting it to come together and I knew she was going to be pushing me for
answers. I didn't feel like dealing with her today. I knew she was trying to shop things around and I
wasnt making that easy when I couldn't tell her what direction I was going. She said I exasperated her.
I'm sure I wasn't her easiest client, but she stuck around. She had for years. We fought like siblings,
but like Miles, she usually shot me straight and that was a quality I liked.
I was preoccupied as I sat across from her. She was attempting to go over some offer for foreign
rights, but I wasn't really listening. "What's wrong with you?" she snapped.
"Nothing," I said.
She sighed and leaned back in her chair, studying me. I hated when she tried to examine me. She'd
been a psychology minor and liked to pretend she could figure me out.
"How's the book coming along?" she asked.
"It's coming," I said, meeting the gaze she leveled at me.
"Can I read it yet?" she asked.
"Nope, I smiled. I watched as her eyes narrowed and nostrils flared.
"Keaton, you have got to get your shit together. I know you think you can just cruise by and do
everything at your own pace and on a whim, but this is your business. You need to take it seriously

and let me do my job," she said.

I leveled my gaze at her, holding it until her eyes flitted away. "Look, I get it. Let me get through
this week and then I'll be your golden boy, okay?"
She huffed. What could she do? I'd get her what she needed eventually. She worried that I was
stuck. Blocked. She couldnt understand that I was just busy. Maybe she was right; maybe I needed to
buckle down. But I had a new release coming out in just over a month. It was done and ready.
"I'm not a factory. I'm still going to write what I want and until I'm happy with it, you'll just have to
wait, I smiled at her scowl. Don't frown, you'll get wrinkles on that pretty face," I teased.
"Flattery won't get you anywhere with me," she scowled.
"Oh, trust me I learned that one a long time ago. Dont worry, Park, I'll get you what you need."
She released a breath and I knew her temper had faded. She was never really angry with me, but
her frustration with me was pretty constant. It's a good thing I made her a lot of money or she'd
probably drop me.
"Let's meet next week," she offered.
I nodded and stood. "It's been a pleasure." I gave her my best sexy smirk, because I knew that she
hated it. Well, she hated it when I used it on her; she loved it when I used it at signings and such.
Which is exactly why Id done it. I couldn't help it; I liked to piss her off.



"I CAN'T BELIEVE you asked Keaton Harris if he got turned on writing sex scenes," I said as we
filed out of the room and headed downstairs to the hotel lobby. Lily laughed at me and slipped her
arm through mine.
"Hey, I wasn't going to let that panel go by without talking to him. He is freaking hot. Did you see
his eyes? Shit."
"He's good looking. But he knows it. No thank you. You can tell he's arrogant as hell." I said. No
matter how good looking that man was, I was not going to be jumping on the Keaton Harris
bandwagon. He had plenty of ladies running around this hotel looking for him. I was not going to be
one of them.
"Maybe. But his books are good. You've read them all, don't pretend that you haven't," she pointed
out.
"I have. That doesn't mean I have to join his fan club just because he has abs."
"Fuck. Did you see his abs? I should have asked if I could come up and touch them. You think he
would have let me?" she asked.
I laughed, "Probably."
"Damn. If I see him again I'm gonna ask him." I had no doubt that she would indeed do just that.
And he'd let her because the girl was gorgeous and she was most certainly not a wallflower. Hell,
knowing Harris reputation he'd probably invite her back to his room. Rumor was he was quite the
playboy.
"Loosen up, Quinn. Live a little. You have to take chances now and again. Make it count," Lily said.
Lily's motto in life was to capture every moment, never let an opportunity go by. She'd lost her
mother when she was seven and the loss had left her wanting to wring as much life out of every
moment that she had. I admired that about her, but I was usually more comfortable hanging back and
letting her take the spotlight. It's not that I was shy as much as I would rather sit back and observe. You
could learn a lot from the edges. It drove Lily crazy. She wanted to be in the middle of everything and
she did her best to make sure that she took me along with her every chance she got.
"We should go down to the lobby bar. I hear there were a lot of authors hanging out down there
between sessions. Maybe we can get a few books signed," I suggested. I had brought a pile of books
from my library and I was anxious to get to meet some of my favorite authors while I was here.
"Sure, I could use a glass of wine anyway. We can have a drink or two and then go and get ready
for dinner and the party tonight," Lily agreed. This conference was huge. The days were full of panels
on every subject imaginable. And the nights were filled with mixers and parties. I loved it. It was like
being on vacation with thousands of like minded people. No one in this crowd would judge you for
always having your nose stuck in a book. They would applaud you and call you an instant friend.
We made our way to the hotel lobby bar. No surprise, it was packed with people. The hotel carried
a constant hum everywhere you went. You could feel the energy vibrating in the air. Usually things
like that made me nervous, but here it felt different. I wanted more of it. It energized me.
"Look, those girls are leaving. Let's snag their table," Lily said pulling my arm. I followed her,
glancing around the room for familiar faces. I threw my bag of books on the floor beside me and

took the seat against the wall where I had prime viewing advantage.
I hadn't really known what to expect from this week. Sure I had read the pamphlet and researched it
to death. There were thousands of people in attendance and each day came with a full schedule of
options geared to readers, bloggers and writers alike. They covered every topic imaginable. There
was so much to do that trying to make out my agenda on what to attend had about given me a panic
attack because I couldn't figure out how to be in multiple places at one time. Lily was perfectly content
to drift in and out of each one.
Now that I was here the reality of it was so much more. It was constant activity. Aside from all of
the panels you had parties and social events and entire rooms set up where you could go and browse
books. People were always giving you something. It was overwhelming and wonderful.
Sitting in this bar was just more of the same. Authors meandered through, signing books and
chatting with readers. People gathered in circles in heated debates over their favorite characters. I
couldn't help the giggle that erupted from my lips as I took it all in.
"What's funny?" Lily asked smiling.
"This. This experience. I'm in love," I admitted.
She laughed with me. "Just wait until I drag you to that party with all the hot male cover models,"
she warned.
I laughed, "Just don't grab anyone's ass. I don't want to get thrown out of here too soon."
"You take away all my fun. First you pull me away from Keaton Harris and now this," she pouted.
"Hey, I'm just doing you a favor. Someone needs to keep you out of trouble," I said.
"Yeah, well someone needs to find some to push you into," she shot back. I laughed and raised my
glass to cheers.

I HAVE BEEN thinking about the girl from the panel all afternoon. The one I didnt even talk to. The
one that would barely look at me as she practically ran from the room. There was something
charming about her and the way the blush had hit her cheeks and the shocked horrification in her eyes
as her friend had stood beside her. The memory was distracting. Id been scanning the crowds for her,
but so far I hadnt seen her or her friend again. I should have tried harder to stop them when they were
leaving.
Why did I even care? It's not like anything was going to happen, not with someone like her. Still, I
found myself wondering what her voice sounded like. Usually, I only cared about things like that
when the girl in question was screaming out my name as I drove one home. But with this mystery girl,
I kept imagining what she would sound like telling me hers. I shook the thought away; I was starting
to sound like one of those sappy assholes in my books again. I needed to put the whole thing out of
my mind and find a distraction at this party. If I was required to attend I might as well go home with a
door prize.
I grabbed a beer from the mini fridge and sprawled out on the couch in my suite.
"Yo, Keaton, grab me a beer," Miles called out from one of the bedrooms. I scowled.
"Get out here and get your own goddamn beer. What are you even doing in there?" I yelled out. He
came out holding two ties, wearing a button down shirt and his boxers.
"Which one do I wear?" he asked holding up one tie and then the other. I rolled my eyes.
"I don't care what you wear," I said.

"I know you don't care. But the ladies downstairs will. What do you think, dark and mysterious or
aloof playboy?" he asked.
"You do realize that you are completely full of shit don't you?" I took a swig of my beer and Miles
flipped me off.
"Just because you can walk in the room and nail any pretty little thing you see by flashing your
smile and dropping your name doesn't mean you can't play wing man once in a while. I don't come on
these trips with you because I like to collect bookmarks and lip balm with some naked dude on it," he
pointed out.
I laughed. Miles had been tagging along for the past three years. He was my little brother and two
years younger than me. It was nice having him around. He was the balance I needed when I was in all
of the crazy. I think he was just in it to travel and get laid, but it was fine. I guess in a way I was too.
"You should get ready too. We're supposed to be downstairs in like twenty minutes," Miles
suggested as he grabbed a beer from the fridge and then moved back towards his bedroom.
I wasn't in any hurry. I'd get there eventually.
"Did you see that girl who asked the question at the end of the panel today?" Miles yelled out from
his room. That caught my attention. I waited for him to continue. I felt my pulse thrum as it picked up
speed, which was ridiculous.
"She was hot. I wonder if she'll be at the thing tonight. I'm calling it. Stay away from her."
Shit. He said the girl who asked the question, right? I'd been so focused on the girl sitting next to
her that I couldn't picture her. "Which one was she?" I asked. I ignored the way my voice sounded,
coming out gruff and tense.
Miles came out fully dressed this time. "Are you really wearing a tie?" I asked, suddenly annoyed
at the thought that he may have just lain claim to the girl who had been invading my thoughts all day.
"Shut up, jackass. Youre supposed to dress up. Didn't you read the agenda?"
"Whatever. Which girl are you talking about?" I asked again.
"Oh. The brunette. She asked if you got turned on writing sex scenes," he said. I felt the air whoosh
from my lungs. Instant relief. I pushed up from the couch suddenly feeling much better about the
evening ahead.
"Oh yeah, she was cute. Might be a little too much for an amateur like you to handle though," I
teased.
"Fuck you," he shot back.
I laughed and started towards my room to find something to wear. If Miles was going to scope out
dark and twisty then I was going with him. I had a feeling Book Nerd would be with her and I wasnt
willing to watch her walk away a second time.

WE WALKED INTO the ballroom from the back entrance, so nobody really saw us. The organizers
were trying something new and had given us each a table around the outskirts of the party so that we
were accessible, but separated. Like zoo animals. I hated it. Tables were meant for signings. I wanted
to mingle and talk to people. Wasnt that the whole point of these things? I knew eventually I'd end up
on the dance floor with everyone else. Thats when the real fun began. I loved getting to know all of
the readers and attendees. It amazed me how invested they would become in the things that they read.
The writer in me loved that. I loved that I could write something that made another person feel
something. So it happened to make them feel hot and bothered and bang their husbands. Everyone was

still a winner.
The only time I got uncomfortable was when they would go on and on about how amazing it was
that I wrote about love and how beautiful it was. They were convinced that I was dreaming about
fairytales right along with them. It took all I had sometimes not to tell them the truth. I just didnt
believe that love like that lived in the real world. Not anymore. But what good would that do? If they
didn't believe in love they wouldn't believe in me or the words I put out there. So I let them keep their
fantasy. But I didn't believe in it. I never would.
Miles took the box of books that we'd brought down with us and started placing them on the table. I
watched the crowds as they started to trickle in. There was a DJ and the music was pumping loudly
through the speakers. The lights were dimmed, the room lit only with strategically placed twinkle
lights and the pulsating colors on the dance floor.
"I only brought a few copies of End Game. I didn't know if you wanted to give any away," Miles
said holding up a copy of my new book. It was the final installment to my series and wasn't set to
release for another month.
"I don't know. We'll see. Just keep them in the box for now," I said, distractedly scanning the crowd
for dark caramel waves.
"There she is," Miles said, standing straight beside me and craning his head to get a better look at
the crowd. I followed his gaze and smiled when I saw dark and twisty and her side kick.
"I'm going to go introduce myself. You'll be okay here, right?" he said, rounding the table and
heading off before I could say anything.
"Asshole, I muttered under my breath. I pulled the chair out from the table, ignoring the scrape of
metal across the floor and sat down in a frustrated huff. I watched as Miles disappeared into the
crowd. Not only couldn't I see him anymore, but I couldn't see Book Nerd either. I'd only caught a
glimpse of her before shed disappeared. Her hair had been pulled back into one of those fancy
ponytails that gathered her long waves and sent them cascading down her back. Her black dress was
simple, but it hugged her body, giving my imagination plenty of images to get creative with.
I wanted to follow Miles into the crowd, but I had my responsibilities as I was reminded when a
group of women walked up to the table. I gave them a big smile and asked them their names, all the
while cursing Miles in my mind. If he blew it with that chic I might never get to talk to her friend. I
needed her name. I couldn't keep calling her Book Nerd. I ran through a list of names in my head,
trying to predict what it might be, but nothing felt right.
I tried to push it from my mind and concentrate on the conversations that I was having. The people
were nice and I agreed to head out to the dance floor and join them eventually. I glanced down at my
watch noting that I was only required to be at my table for another thirty minutes. Miles hadn't come
back. He was such an amazing assistant. I was going to kick his ass later. The least he could have done
was brought the girls back to the table and introduce them to me.
Then again, Miles didnt usually bring his dates around. Not that I'd ever in a million years make
the moves on some girl he was into, but in places like this, he'd been forgotten before, so I got it.
Miles didnt need any help in the ladies department. He had enough swagger all on his own. But I
respected the fact that he wanted to distance himself from me. Even if he was only hooking up with
someone, hed rather it be based on his own merit and not on who his brother was. That kid had a
good head on his shoulders, even if it meant he cared more about things than he probably should. I
tried my best to look out for him.
I leaned back in my chair; the hard metal was causing my ass to go numb. I was ready to pack it up
and go mingle. I needed a drink. I had sat here long enough.
I left the swag on the table and leaned down to grab the box of books at my feet. That's when I saw
the movement of caramel hair and the flash of fitted black material over shapely hips. They were

headed this way. Well, the brunette was headed to the table, Book Nerd looked liked she was being
forced against her will.
I watched as they approached and smiled at the way she had her arms folded across her chest. She
avoided my gaze, glancing everywhere but at me or my table.
"Hi," her friend smiled as she walked up. "I was hoping I'd catch you. I wanted to see if you could
sign a book for me.
"Of course, Id be happy to, I smiled. I didn't catch your name earlier during the Q&A." Maybe if
I could get dark and twistys name I could get Book Nerds name too.
"I'm Lily," she said, offering her hand. I shook it and then turned to her friend, who was still
refusing to look at me.
"And you are?" I asked willing her eyes to meet mine. She obliged, her gaze locking on my own.
Her mouth opened and then closed, her tongue, followed by her teeth danced across her bottom lip
and I couldn't stop the instant lust that fisted through my gut.
"I'm Quinn," she said.
I repeated her name back to her, now that I had it I wanted to hear it falling from my lips. Quinn. I
cleared my throat, forcing myself to stop staring at her. Finally able to see her up close I could see
that her eyes were not merely hazel, but iridescent. She quickly cast her gaze to the floor, her long
lashes sweeping across her cheeks. I couldnt help but imagine her looking up at me from behind
those lashes, working me over with that pretty little mouth. Shit. I needed to snap out of it.
"So, are you ladies here for the entire week?" I asked as I took Lily's book from her and grabbed a
marker.
"Uh huh, we are having the best time. We want to get out and explore the city some, but theres so
much to do here that we haven't had a chance yet. This is our first time to one of these, so it's pretty
exciting," she rattled off. I smiled, she was full of energy. Quinn remained silent beside her.
"And you're having a good time too, Quinn?" I asked. I wanted to hear her voice, but she was being
so quiet. She was guarded, compared to her friend.
"It's been fun," she agreed simply. I wasn't getting anywhere with this girl.
I handed Lily back her book and then glanced back at Quinn. "Do you have a book you want me to
sign?" I asked.
She smirked and then shook her head. "I didn't bring any books down with me. But thank you." She
was polite, Id give her that, but I got the feeling that she didn't like me much.
"Oh, there's that Miles guy. I'll be right back, Quinny." Lily left, and I glanced back at Quinn who
was gaping after her. She'd been abandoned and she was now standing here alone with me. This night
was turning around.
"Does she do that a lot?" I laughed.
Quinn turned back to me and gave me a weak smile. "Unfortunately."
"Well, you can talk to me until she gets back," I offered. "I even have an extra chair." I patted the
chair beside me in invitation.
"I should probably get going. Thanks though," she said moving to leave.
"Have you read any of my books?" I blurted. She turned back to me her gaze questioning, so I
pushed on. "You said you didn't bring any books down with you. I have some here; I could give you
one if you'd like. No pressure," I smiled. I reached down into the box and pulled out a copy of the new
book and opened it to the title page.
"Oh, um, that's not necessary, I'm sure you don't have many of those." She was fidgeting and I
realized that I was making her nervous.
I scribbled a message and then pushed the book towards her.
"I insist."

She ran her fingers across the cover, her nails perfectly cut and polished.
"Thank you," she said softly.
"You're welcome. Now, how about you sit with me?"
Her gaze took me in, assessing me. "I appreciate it. But I think I'm just going to go and get a
drink," she said, taking a step away from the table.
"Wait, don't go yet. I'm all alone over here. If you give me a few minutes I can go with you," I said
throwing her a smile. The smile I used when I wanted to get my way.
"You don't have to do that."
"I want to."
I watched as she forced a smile, "I appreciate the offer. But I'm not really--." Her sentence hung in
the air, uncompleted.
"Not what?" I dared.
"I'm not a groupie. I'm not going to swoon over you," she blurted.
I sat back in my seat, surprised by her words. I stifled the chuckle that threatened, knowing it
wouldnt earn me any points.
"Oh. I didn't mean to imply that you were," I said.
That made her blush. I loved the way it turned her cheeks the softest shade of pink.
She crossed her arms across her chest again. It was her defense mechanism. She was shutting me
out.
"I think weve gotten off on the wrong foot," I said carefully.
"We haven't gotten off on anything, Mr. Harris. I'm just not really interested in sitting here with
you. Honestly, I'm not the kind of girl you want sitting with you anyway," she said.
"And what kind of girl is that?" I asked curiously.
"The one you will take upstairs later," she said bluntly.
I laughed. I couldn't help it. I hadn't expected that answer. Fire flamed behind her eyes and she
squared her shoulders.
"I'm sorry. Its just . . . you surprised me," I admitted.
She opened her mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by a commotion behind her. We
both turned to see a group of girls coming up to the table. "You're Keaton Harris, right?" the one in
front asked. I glanced from the girl back to Quinn and cursed shitty timing.
"That's me," I smiled turning my attention back to our new company.
"I love your books. They are so good," she started. I glanced back to Quinn, but she was already
walking away. Shit. "Oh my gosh, this is End Game. Are you giving these out? I have been dying
waiting for this book," she said. I glanced over to see Quinn's book still lying on the table. She hadn't
even taken it with her. I sighed and picked it up, putting it back into the box.
"Sorry, I'm just a tease," I smiled, regrouping.
She was gone and I hated the disappointment that settled in chest at her sudden absence.



I WASN'T QUITE sure what to make of Keaton Harris. The fact that I was spending any time trying to
figure it out at all was annoying. I hated guys like him. Cocky and arrogant. I'd met my share of them.
They thought they could just smile or throw you a sexy smirk and your panties would just melt right
off of your body. And most of the time, with guys that looked like that, they would. But I wasnt most
girls. I didnt fall for most things.
Thats not to say I was completely immune. Even I could appreciate the fact that Keaton Harris was
stunningly attractive. I just preferred guys who didnt know they were stunningly attractive. It took the
fun out of it. Besides, I tended to like my sexy with a side of nerd. I wanted someone who was going
to stimulate my brain before going down on meor at least afterwards. That was the fun part of a
relationship, the peeling back of layers and getting to know what was underneath. That's not to say that
the panty droppers didn't have depth, I'm sure that some of them did. But it hadn't been my experience
and honestly, I just didn't have the energy to give them the benefit of the doubt. It just wasn't my thing.
They weren't my type.
Keaton Harris was no different. I could have spotted him a mile away even if he hadn't been
preceded by his reputation. He was a walking sex pot, his gaze leering around him looking for a new
conquest. He was a constant predator. A place like this was like fishing in a bucket. He didn't have to
work for anything. It was like an unlimited pass to the buffet of whore. He provided the fantasy and
they provided a distraction. I'd heard the ladies talk about him. He was known to sleep around; I guess
any guy would in his situation, but I avoided guys like that.
I could have killed Lily for leaving me at that table the night before. I hadn't even wanted to go up
there with her. Not after she had asked him about writing sex scenes. There was no telling what would
come out of her mouth. I had fully expected her to go through on her threat and ask to feel up his abs.
I did not want to be a part of it. But she had dragged me along anyway, just like she always did. She
couldnt be trusted.
Looking back, I think Id rather her have asked about the abs. It would have saved me the
awkwardness of standing there with him once shed left. I hadnt meant to be a bitch to him or imply
that he was trying to pick me up, but it had all slipped out in horrifying slow motion. I blamed the
grin. As much as I wanted to be immune to it, up close and personal it was hard to deflect. Thank God
that group of girls had come up so I could escape. If I could avoid him the rest of this trip I was going
to. It was bad enough the whole ugly scene had been replaying over and over in my head all morning;
I didnt want to have to see him again in person.
Lily and I joined the crowds shuffling down the hallways between meeting rooms. I glanced down
at the well-worn piece of paper in my hand that held the room numbers and times of all of the days
events.
"Hey, I'll meet you in there. I just need to go to the ladies room. You go and save us a seat," Lily
said. Lily always had to pee. I was used to this. I waved her off and moved down the hall. I glanced
down at my schedule, looking for the room number.
"Hi, Quinn." A deep voice stopped me in my tracks and I looked up, way up, into the soft blue eyes
of Keaton Harris. He was standing just off the hallway in a little alcove. Lurking in the shadows.

"Oh, um, hi," I said surprised. Surprised that he was standing here, surprised that he was stopping
to talk to me, and surprised that he actually remembered my name.
"I was hoping I would run into you today," he smiled.
That took me aback. "You were?" I asked suspiciously. Why on earth would he want to see me
again? I'd spoken to him for only a few minutes and I hadn't even been that nice to him.
"You left your book at the party last night." His voice was smooth and warm and I hated the way it
left goose bumps on my flesh. He probably practiced that voice in his spare time.
I walked over to him reluctantly, just to get out from the flow of traffic. I shook my head, "I didn't
have any books with me last night. Im pretty sure Lily got her's back to the room," I said. I could see
that he was holding the copy of his latest book, the one that hadn't been released and everyone was
desperate to get their hands on. The one that I'd intentionally left on his table last night. He wanted me
to want it and for that reason I didn't. I'd actually been looking forward to reading it. I'd even preordered a copy. But he didn't need to know that.
For whatever reason I didnt feel the same pull to read his words that Id had before. It was weird. I
was having trouble connecting the amazing words in his books to the arrogant, fake ones that he
seemed to use in real life. When Id read his stuff Id always felt a real honesty and a vulnerability that
I could connect to and Id always thought it was weird that people called him a player, because hed
always written with real depth. That was until Id seen him saunter into that panel like sex on legs. His
intense presence was overwhelming and the reality of him left me disconnected to the emotions he put
on paper. Maybe you couldnt judge a book by its cover, but could you judge a book by its author? I
wasnt sure anymore.
"Oh, but you did leave something behind. See, I turned around and found this sitting on the table. I
tried to find you, but you were already gone," he said. He opened the cover and nodded as if to
confirm what he was telling me. "Yep, this is yours. I put a special message in it. It says right here . . .
To Quinn. That's you." He gave me that sexy little smirk that he was known for. He was a complete
flirt. It was no wonder he had a group of ladies scouring this hotel for him at all times. He was a
fiction rock star.
"You didn't have to do that," I said politely. I didn't want to be rude to him. I just didn't want him to
think that he could win me over.
"But I wanted to. I wanted to talk to you last night too," he admitted and for a second I saw
something new flash across his features. As if the cool, suave mask had slipped just a little. It slid back
into place just as quickly though, so I was sure that I had imagined it.
"From what I saw you weren't lacking for attention or conversation," I laughed.
He shrugged. "I would have liked to talk to you though," he said. Again, it was as if the arrogant
shield had slipped a little. He held out the book to me and waited.
"Thank you for the book," I said finally, taking it from his grasp. He smiled, and this time it felt
genuine.
"You are welcome." He made no move to leave and I didn't know what to do to get him to go away.
"Um, okay, well thanks again." I stepped to the side to head the opposite direction.
"Wait. Where are you going?" he asked, his step mirroring mine and blocking my path. I sighed.
"I have a panel that I'm late for," I said.
"Anything interesting?" he asked curiously. Well, he pretended to be curious. I had no doubt that he
was anything but. I put his book in my bag and shifted it on my shoulder.
"Yes, actually," I said crossing my arms against my chest. If he thought I was going to tell him so
he could show up he was wrong.
He smiled, amused at my vagueness. "Okay. Well, go to your panel then. I hope I see you again
soon," he said.

I gave him a noncommittal nod and then stepped back into hall. I swear I could feel his eyes locked
on me as I walked away. I didn't want to turn around to see him, but I did. He was leaned against the
wall, hands in his pockets, smile in place as if he had been sure that I would look back. I hated that he'd
been right.
After an afternoon apart, me to a lecture on publishing and Lily to cover model Bingo, we met
back up to converge on the goody room and gorge out on free books and swag. We moved down the
rows of tables covered with lollipops and bookmarks. I even got a pizza cutter with a hot model on it.
A pizza cutter. Unique. I wondered if the hot model would make me feel guilty when I was eating my
frozen pizza.
"We're going to need an extra bag for the plane ride home," Lily pointed out as we both filled our
bags with free stuff. She was right; I had so much to carry. And I hadn't even gone to the signing yet
where I planned to drop a pretty penny on books. It was worth the extra baggage fee. My bookcase at
home was going to look amazing.
"So do you really want to go to that bar hop thing tonight or do you want to go and see the city. I
don't want to miss out on doing a little sight seeing while we are here," I said.
"Actually, I was going to talk to you about that," she said. She was using that sweet, sugary voice
that she pulled out when she wanted to convince me to do something she was pretty sure I wouldn't
want to do. I braced myself.
"What?" I asked throwing her a stern look. I had known Lily since the first grade and I knew how
she worked. She was up to something and the moment I declined any part of it she would poke and
prod and guilt me until she got her way. She was such a bully.
"Well, you know that guy I met last night, Miles? He asked me out to dinner," she said. Oh. Well,
that wasn't what I expected. I briefly wondered if I was brave enough to explore the city on my own or
if I should wait.
"Oh, he seemed nice," I smiled as I threw some lip balm into my goody bag.
"He is. And he's not bad on the eyes either," she arched a knowing eyebrow making me laugh.
"Anyway, so I told him we'd have dinner with him and his brother tonight," she said quickly.
"Whoa. Hold up. You told him what?" I asked. She shrugged and grabbed up a penis shaped sucker
to examine.
"He has a meeting with his brother and asked if I wanted to meet him for dinner. I told him while I
would love to go to dinner with him that I was here with my best friend in the whole wide world and I
couldn't possibly think of deserting her on our vacation," she said eyeing me with a sweet innocent
pout. I scowled at her. "And since he had that meeting I suggested that we could all go together. That
way everyone was happy."
"I'm not happy," I pointed out. She waved her hand dismissively.
"It'll be fun, Quinny. I mean, you've seen Miles. You know his brother has to be good looking too.
And what's the worst that could happen? You get a free dinner and look at handsome men. There are
worse things, friend," she said matter-of-factly.
"And I assume this has all been confirmed?" I asked.
"We're meeting them at the restaurant at seven," she smiled sweetly.
"I hate you," I growled.
"You love me," she challenged.
"That's up for debate." She was my best friend and I did love her, but sometimes her whimsy was
like living on a merry-go-round at top speed and never knowing how to jump off. I usually just held
on and tried not to get sick. God love her.
"Trust me, Quinn. We're on vacation. Let's go out and make the most of it. It'll be fun."
Famous last words.



"I CANNOT BELIEVE that you are dragging me on a blind double date in a strange city. Only you
would do this," I grimaced as we made our way down the crowded street.
"Quinn, you gotta trust me. This Miles guy is hot. And he seems really nice. If I had to guess his
brother is going to be hot too," she said.
"I don't care if he is or not. I'm not here to meet guys. This is supposed to be our girls week," I
pointed out.
"Seriously? What is wrong with you? Where is your sense of fun and adventure? It's just dinner.
Two hours of the night. If it goes badly you can go back to the hotel and read or something. But for
now, you are going to flash that sexy smile of yours and pretend to have fun," she ordered.
"I do have fun. I have a lot of fun actually. I just don't see the appeal of you dragging me along on
your date," I said.
"I'm not dragging you along. I already explained this. Miles wanted to take me to dinner, but he had
a meeting with his brother. So I suggested we all go together, that way you could come too. Besides,
you have to eat. And you did say you wanted to get out and see the city. Its a win-win really." She
seemed so proud of herself. I hated blind dates. Actually, I hated dating in general. There was so much
effort involved and nine times out of ten the guy ended up being a jerk.
"You owe me for this," I muttered as we reached the restaurant.
"Oh you poor thing," she mocked. I gave her my best glare and followed her inside. She was
laughing at me, so apparently the glare wasn't effective.
I glanced around the room while Lily gave the hostess our name and nearly choked when my eyes
locked on a man at the bar. He was tall, intense and far too familiar. He was also walking this way.
Was he coming towards us? I looked away pretending I didn't recognize him.
"Lily! You made it." My eyes whipped to the voice making the introduction. He kissed Lily on the
cheek and then turned his attention to me. "You must be Quinn," he smiled. I held out my hand and
shook it. A feeling of uneasiness swept through me as the tall man from the bar stepped forward
taking a spot beside him. Keaton Harris. This was not happening. Miles' brother was Keaton Harris?
My blind date was Keaton Harris? I wondered if I could turn and run without being noticed.
"Hi. It's nice to meet you," I managed. I couldn't help but glance back over my shoulder at the door
wistfully.
"You aren't thinking about leaving are you?" Keaton's smooth voice asked quietly. I swallowed
hard as a wave of acute awareness invaded me. There was something about this man that made me feel
all prickly.
"Quinn, this is my brother, Keaton," Miles said good-naturedly. I couldn't help but notice how he
kept smiling down at Lily. He was good looking; a softer looking Keaton. Where his brother was
intense, Miles was more approachable.
"We've met," Keaton smiled offering me his hand. I took it reluctantly, avoiding his eyes. I couldn't
help it. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to have dinner with him either. This was going to be
awful. Lily owed me so much more than she realized.
"Oh. Well, great," Miles smiled. I managed to return it, while avoiding Keaton all together. Maybe I

could make it through the meal doing just that.

"Shall we get our table?" Lily asked. I elbowed her in the side, warning her that she owed me an
explanation as to why she'd failed to mention that the brother was Keaton Harris. She'd seemed
anything but surprised when he'd walked up and that little detail told me she was being devious.
The hostess led us to a big round booth in the back of the restaurant where we were shielded from
all of the other patrons. I slid in beside Lily who was busy chatting Miles up. Keaton slid in beside me,
a little too close. I could feel the heat from his body and it left me uncomfortable.
A waiter appeared at our table and filled our water glasses. I took a drink immediately, wishing I
could figure out a way to escape this dinner without looking like a coward.
"You looked surprised to see me. I'm guessing Lily didn't mention it," Keaton said just for me to
hear. I don't know that Lily and Miles would have noticed anyway.
"She told me that we were meeting Miles brother," I said.
He chuckled under his breath, "Miles brother."
"Is that funny? Is it surprising that someone would refer to you as his brother instead of the other
way around? Does that bruise your fragile ego? Is it hard not being the center of everyone's
attention?"
I saw surprise hit his eyes. "Wow. That was harsh. I might be a little slow on the uptake, but I'm
starting to think you don't like me much, Quinn," he mused.
I huffed and took another sip of water. I shouldn't have let him get to me.
"Why is that anyway?" he asked
"What?"
"Why is it that you don't like me?"
I leveled my gaze at him, questioning whether or not I should really have this conversation. I didn't
want to make this dinner any more awkward than it was already going to be.
"It's not that I don't like you," I said finally. He tilted his head, giving me a look that said he didn't
believe me. "I think you might be a little arrogant," I admitted. "It's probably not all your fault. You do
get a lot of attention, but I don't really find it to be an attractive quality in a person," I said.
"Please, go on," he encouraged. He leaned back into the booth and crossed his arms across his
chest managing to make it look relaxed instead of defensive.
"You get everything you want. I've seen how people react to you around here. All you have to do is
snap your fingers or flash that smirky smile and they all line up for a chance to be the next to take a
ride on the Keaton Harris Express." I said.
"First off, it's definitely not an express ride," he said. I rolled my eyes. "And, second, I haven't seen
you line up for anything, so apparently I don't get everything that I want."
"See? You are so full of yourself," I said.
"Maybe if you got to know me you would change your mind," he suggested.
"It's not important. We're here. Let's just have dinner," I said. I didn't want to get into it further.
"I like you Quinn," he said softly.
"You don't know me," I said and I immediately wanted to take it back. Hadn't he just used that same
argument on me? I saw his smile widen.
"Exactly."
The waiter showed up then with a bottle of wine that I'd never even noticed Miles order. Why did I
keep letting him get to me? Maybe it was that he made me nervous. I hated that he did.
"Are we ready to order?" The waiter asked. I hadn't even looked at my menu.
"Yes," Lily announced happily. I grabbed up the menu and frantically looked over the selections.
Keaton leaned in, his voice velvet in my ear, "The salmon is quite good here." I felt the shiver drift
across my skin and I squared my shoulders in defense of the reaction.

"And for you miss?" the waiter asked.

"Um, the salmon," I squeaked. I swear I felt his satisfied smile beside me.
"I'll have the same," Keaton said handing over the menus.
Luckily, Miles and Lily decided to include us in their conversation so I didn't have to worry about
keeping our side one going. I didn't think I could have even if I had to. But as a foursome it wasn't that
bad. In fact, I even started to enjoy myself. I hated to admit it, but the banter between Keaton and Miles
was funny. They were relaxed with each other and it brought out a different side of Keaton. But then
again, like we'd both pointed out, we didn't really know each other.
It wasn't until dessert that my mouth showed up again.
"So, Keaton, tell us how a dude ends up writing romance novels?" Lily asked.
He smiled and I could tell from his expression that he got this question a lot. Miles chuckled under
his breath.
"I actually started out as a news journalist," he said. I saw Miles' eyes shoot up in surprise. So I
wasn't sure if he was telling the truth.
"Oh, so he's going to tell the real story," Miles smiled, sipping his wine.
Keaton shrugged and continued his story. "I have a thing for news. I got my degree and started
running all over trying to get my big break. I had plans to travel the world and make a difference. You
know, bring home the stories that nobody else wanted to tell. But it was a slow climb to get there. I
didn't mind working for it, but fate stepped in and I ended up here instead," he said.
"But how did you go from hard news to throbbing members?" Miles and Keaton laughed out loud
and I nearly spit wine across the table, as I choked on Lilys words.
"Well, it was kind of accidental. I saw how my cousin was so engrossed in a book and I thought I'd
try my hand at it. I've always enjoyed writing. Fiction is challenging, you have to come up with an
entire world, but I liked that. So I wrote my first book and released it. It took off and I decided I liked
doing it."
"But why Romance?" Lily pressed.
"So he can get laid," I said. I looked up to surprised faces and realized I'd said that out loud. I felt
my cheeks warm.
"Is she always this feisty?" Keaton asked Lily, still smiling. He didn't seem offended at all.
Probably because it was true.
"Never," Lily laughed.
I jumped when I felt the weight of his hand on my thigh. He patted it twice and then gave it the
smallest of caresses before removing it.
"Interesting," he said. I could feel his stare, but I refused to look at him. "Actually, I chose romance
because I loved the way readers really connect to it. Love is the thing that nearly everyone covets. It's
universal," he said.
"That's nice. I'm glad you decided to give it a go. I kind of love Jack and Elisa," Lily said. Keaton
smiled and took the compliment in stride. I guess I had expected his chest to puff up with the
adoration.
"What do you say we take a walk down to the wharf?" Keaton asked as he quietly took the bill from
the edge of table, slipped in his card and set it back down to be picked up.
"Oh, I want to go and see the seals," Lily said as she hopped in her seat with childlike excitement.
"They really stink, you know?" Miles teased her, but his eyes were dancing with amusement and I
could tell that he liked her excitement.
"I don't care. Theyre fun. Let's go," she said.
"What about you? Are you up for a stroll?" Keaton asked me softly. He did that a lot, spoke quietly,
directly to me. Each time that he did it caused a strange feeling to dance across my skin. It was a little

bit like electricity and as much as I tried to ignore it, it wasn't working.
We filed out of the restaurant and I pulled my sweater on as the breeze coming off of the bay was
really cooling off. I was quickly falling in love with San Francisco. It was perfect. I loved everything
about it from the clouds that clung to the bay, to the cool, crisp air that left a chill on the breeze. I
loved the hills and the way you could visit every country in the world just by exploring the city. I
inhaled a deep breath of cool, salty air and smiled, knowing that Id found a new favorite city.
Lily and Miles walked ahead of us chatting about who knows what. I admired her ability to be easy
and carefree. She took life as it came and she didn't get caught up in over-thinking things the way that
I did. Id never been able to figure out how to do that.
"Are you cold?" Keaton asked, bringing me out of my self examination.
"No, I'm okay, thank you. Thank you for dinner as well. It was delicious," I said as we began to
walk following behind Lily and Miles.
"Aside from the company you mean?" he asked giving me a sidelined, teasing glance. I really had
been awful to him. I didn't mean to be that way and I'm not sure why he ruffled my feathers so badly.
Sometimes, when he was just laid back and natural he was legitimately charming. It was the persona,
the cocky guy who always seemed to be on for his audience that annoyed me.
"I'm sorry," I admitted. "I don't mean to be such a bitch. I enjoyed the company as well," I offered.
That earned me a big smile and he bumped my shoulder with his own.
"Yeah? I might win you over yet," he teased.
"Doubtful," I said, but I was laughing. I felt my guard starting to slip a little.
"I know you think I'm just a playboy asshole," he said.
"But you're not?" I asked.
"No, I am," he said matter-of-factly.
I couldn't help but laugh at that nugget of honesty.
"At least I have been at times. But it doesn't make me a bad guy. I've just been a single guy having
fun," he said.
I didn't say anything. He was right really. I was being judgmental.
"I'm guessing you always go for the good guy?" he asked curiously.
I shrugged, "Maybe. I've never given much thought to what my type is," I admitted.
"Do you have a boyfriend now?
"No. I just graduated and I'm in that limbo area trying to figure out what I'm going to do next."
"What do you want to do?" he asked.
"I'm considering a move to New York," I said. I felt the nerves flutter in my stomach the way they
did anytime I said the words out loud.
"I live in New York," he said suddenly. I glanced over at him. "Just saying," he mumbled.
We walked a little further without speaking before Keaton asked, "What will you do in New York?
What did you go to school for?"
"I'd love to get into publishing. I've always been the girl with her nose in a book. I dont know, I
just want to do something that I love with my life. My mom always said if you love what you do then
you will never work a day in your life," I said.
"Smart lady," he smiled.
We made it to the pier and I could hear the sound of the seals barking and the sound of Lily's
laughter as she leaned over the rails. I moved in beside her as she called out to them, carrying on a
conversation like they were talking back to her. Who knows, maybe they were.
"Aren't they fun, Quinny? I should go work at Sea World or something. Then I could hang out with
seals and Otters all day." She winked at me. She was constantly coming up with some new career that
she was destined for.

"That would be otterly fabulous," I agreed.

I heard Keaton chuckle behind me, standing just close enough that I could feel the heat from his
body fill the air around me.
"Hey, Lily, you want to ride the carousel?" Miles asked. Her eyes lit up as she jumped down from
the railing she was perched on and skipped to his side.
"Yes. Let's go."
"You guys want to come?" Miles asked. They were already walking away.
"Nah, we're fine. We'll catch up in a bit," Keaton answered for us. I glanced at him curiously. I was
a little torn. On one hand, there was safety in numbers, but honestly it felt like we were crashing Miles
and Lily's date.
"Is that okay?" he asked in that quiet way of his. I was really starting to like the way he did that.
"Of course."
"Let's find a bench or something. I think there is one up a little further where we can look out over
the water, he suggested.
I followed him down the busy sidewalk of tourists. Sure enough there was an opening ahead with a
bench. We sat, and I tried to ignore the jitters that were suddenly attacking deep in the pit of my
stomach. Maybe it was the cover of darkness or the way the moon hung low in the sky casting a glow
across the bay, maybe it was his cologne or the electricity that seemed to hum across his skin, but I
was intoxicated. I felt myself being pulled under, and I did my best to shake the fog that settled over
me.
"So, I assume you've been to San Francisco before?" I asked him.
"A few times. I love this city. It's so different than back home. I love the hustle of New York, it's
always exciting. But, it feels laid back here. It's a nice change."
"I think I could live here," I said confidently.
"I thought you were going to migrate east," he questioned with an easy smile.
"I am. Well, probably. But this is the kind of place I always saw myself. I love the water, but I love
the way it's cool and misty," I said, taking in the salt in the air.
"Have you ever been up to Seattle?" he asked.
"Not yet. It's on the list," I said.
I listened as Keaton told me stories about some of his travels, telling me about his favorite places
and me telling him about my list of dream destinations. Keaton had traveled all over. His job had
taken him to all kinds of places and I was fascinated listening to him tell me about some of the local
gems he'd found in each one.
"I'm kind of an explorer. Whenever I visit a new place I just want to go and walk around. I always
try and find the places off the beaten path. There are always going to be the tourist places, but to get
the real flavor of a place you have to find out where the locals are. You have to explore, walk around
until you get lost and can't find your way back. That's the best kind of adventure. I love doing that," he
said.
"Do you go by yourself?" I asked, thinking how similar he and Lily were. I would never be brave
enough to just wander off alone in some foreign city. Heck, I wasn't sure I'd be brave enough to do it
here.
"Sometimes. Miles travels with me a lot, so sometimes I can convince him to go with me."
"Hmm," I said thoughtfully. I tried to imagine him wandering around Ireland, since he'd told me it
was one of his favorite places to visit. I couldn't picture it, not only because I'd never been there, but
because the vision was too far removed from the one of Keaton that I'd allowed myself to have up
until this point.
"You should try it sometime," he suggested.

I shrugged noncommittally.
I was surprised at how easy he was to talk to. He left me with an odd mixture of butterflies and
comfort. I couldn't seem to fit him into any one single category. All along I'd tried putting him into
the playboy, douche bag category, but he didn't want to stick. He kept forcing me to reevaluate.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw a text from Lily.
"They are going for a nightcap, they want to know if we want to join them," I relayed the message.
He waited for me to decide.
"I feel like I'm crashing her date. And I'm kind of tired. I think maybe I'll just go back to the hotel,"
I said. I thought I saw disappointment cross his features, but it was only there for a moment before he
smiled easily.
"Yeah, I have an early morning tomorrow. I'll walk you back," he offered.
"Oh, you don't have to do that. I'll be fine. You can go with them if you want," I said, suddenly
feeling bad that I'd cut his evening short too. It's not that I didn't want to spend more time with him, but
I needed some distance. I needed to figure out what box to put this delicious man in.
"And crash their date all by myself?" he asked with an exaggerated scoff. It made me laugh. I typed
a short reply to Lily telling her to have fun, but that I was going back to the room. She quickly replied
that she wouldn't be too late. I knew her well enough to know that she couldn't make such promises.
I looked up from my phone and saw that Keaton had his hand out, waiting for me to accept. I
placed my hand in his and swallowed hard at the sensation that hit me at the simple touch of our skin.
Once I was on my feet his fingers laced with mine and we started walking.
The fact that he was holding my hand left my head spinning. I didn't know what to say and I didn't
want to be rude and pull my hand back. Okay, I didn't want to pull it away at all, because his hand was
warm and strong and the way he ran his thumb across my skin in that soft nonchalant way sent a tingle
throughout my body.
This man was trouble.
He may be a bad boy, or a playboy, but hell if he didn't do it to perfection. Just this small touch of
our hands told me that he was a man who could take me down, overwhelm me. The realization should
have been like cold water against my heated skin. Instead, it only seemed to fuel whatever fire was
slowly starting to take hold. Somehow in the course of one evening he had managed to change my
mind without me even knowing it. Without me having spent one single moment reasoning it out.
We'd been walking in silence and the lack of conversation had my mind going all over the place. I
needed to get back to my room. I needed to put some distance between us.
I could have pulled my hand away.
I could have.
I didn't.
"So are you and Lily going to any fun sessions tomorrow," he finally asked, breaking the silence.
"I'm not going to sleep with you," I blurted suddenly. Apparently I had no filter these days. Talk
first, cringe later. Oh well, I might as well put it out there in the open.
"Okay," he smiled.
"Okay?"
He laughed. "Don't get me wrong, if you wanted to go back to my room I wouldn't say no. But I'm
enjoying this; just talking to you. I'm not such an asshole that I don't crave real conversation."
"Sorry," I said, feeling a little embarrassed. I'm not sure what it was that had me assuming the
worst in him. He actually seemed like a decent guy.
"It's fine. I kind of like the fire in your eyes when you assume the worst," he teased.
"You like that I'm a bitch to you?" I laughed.
"I wouldn't say youre a bitch."

"And what exactly would you call it?" I asked. Hell, even I thought I was being a bitch.
"I'm still figuring it out," he said giving me one of those sexy winks. I pretended it didn't affect me,
but it did. A little. I was quickly realizing I wasn't completely immune to his charms.
We walked through the doors of the hotel and the lobby was still buzzing with chatter. I pulled my
hand away, pretending to dig for my key. I didn't want all of these people to spot us and think we were
together. I pretended not to notice the odd look he gave me.
"Thanks for walking me back," I said as we moved towards the elevators. I expected him to veer
off to the lobby where he could talk to people, maybe find a late night hook up.
"I'm going upstairs too," he said quietly.
"Oh," I don't know why I was surprised. He did say he had an early morning. Apparently I was
letting my assumptions get the best of me again.
The doors opened and he followed me into the empty car. I was thankful that we didn't have an
audience. I didn't want to deal with that just yet, not while I was still trying to figure it all out. I wasn't
even sure that there was anything to figure out. Geesh, I was going off the rails.
I pushed floor six and glanced over to him for his floor. Instead of telling me he leaned across,
slow and deliberate, completely invading my personal space, and punched twenty-two. Well, alright
then. Let the Gods rise to the top.
"I can walk you to your door," he said, low in my ear as he straightened back up, not leaving any
room between us. It made my heart race and my throat close, making it difficult for me to swallow.
"Thank you, but I can make it," I said giving him a smile. Space. I needed some space, because his
proximity was keeping me from stringing complete thoughts together.
The doors opened and I stepped out, turning to give him a wave over my shoulder and thank him
again for dinner and walking me back, but he was stepping out with me. My mouth fell open as I
watched the doors close at his back. He gave me a smile and motioned for me to lead the way.
"You don't listen much do you?" I growled under my breath as I started down the hall towards my
room.
"What can I say, life is more fun when you follow your own rules," he said.
I rolled my eyes, annoyed, not just with him, but with me and the reactions that I couldn't seem to
get under control. He walked close beside me, his hands in his pockets as we moved down the hall.
When I reached the door I turned to him. "I meant what I said. I'm not sleeping with you," I said
quietly.
His smile grew, taking over his entire face. I liked the way the amusement hit his eyes. "I know.
Can't a guy just be a gentleman and walk a lady to her door? Or is it just that I can't be a gentleman?"
he asked. I knew he was teasing me, but I hated it when he called me out on my judgmental behavior. It
wasn't like me to behave so badly.
"I'm sorry. Thank you for walking me to my door. I had a nice evening. Dinner was great," I
offered.
"It was actually. I enjoyed getting to know you more. I hope I get to see you again," he smiled.
I wasn't ready to commit to anything like that so I just gave him a small nod.
"Goodnight, Keaton. Thanks again."
"Wait, is it okay if I get your number?" he asked suddenly.
"You want my number?" I asked the confusion clear on my face.
This time he shrugged and I couldn't help but notice that his confident demeanor slipped just a little
bit.
I hesitated for a moment, waiting to see if he took the request back. He didn't. With a deep breath,
and against my better judgment I held out my hand, palm up, for his phone. He fished it out of his
pocket and handed it to me. I dialed my number, added it to his contacts, resisting the urge to send the

number through so that I could have his as well. That's how these things worked generally, but the
idea of having that number in my phone was too much. Besides, what was I going to do, text him cat
videos? I handed him back his phone and turned back to the door, now unlocked and beckoning me to
come in and breathe normally again.
"Goodnight, Quinn," he said quietly. He leaned in and panic shot through me, or was that
adrenaline? I held my breath as his lips brushed softly across my cheek. I had barely let my eyes
flutter closed when I felt him pull away. Damn, he was good.
"Uh, goodnight," I managed before quickly turning and darting into the safety of my room. I
sagged against it, feeling as if I'd just run a marathon. One thing I was sure of, my instincts about
Keaton Harris were right. That man was trouble. I just hadn't expected to like the kind of trouble he
was offering. I shook my head, trying to find my balance again just as my phone buzzed in my bag. I
pulled it out and saw the unfamiliar New York number on my screen.

My number . . . Feel free to use it.

So much for that plan. I reluctantly saved it in my phone, smiling to myself as I did. Yep, that boy
was trouble.



I LAY BACK on my bed and stared at the ceiling. Small swirls decorated the paint leaving a slight
glint in the light. I wondered if they were made of gold. Probably not. This suite wasn't that nice.
My phone vibrated with a text alert in my pocket and I couldn't help but wonder if it was Quinn. I
hoped it was Quinn. I pulled it from my pocket and glanced down at the screen. It was Parker,
reminding me of my schedule. The stab of disappointment and annoyance surprised me. Id only left
her twenty minutes ago. Its not like Id expected her to text me already, or at all. Quinn wasnt the
kind of girl I could predict.
I barely knew her, but already she was getting under my skin. She challenged me and she intrigued
me. She was like a puzzle I couldnt quite figure out. A story I couldnt quite put together. In the few
interactions Id had with her Id already seen so many different sides to her. There was a timidness
there that told me she was cautious, but then she would get this fire in her eyes and flat out come after
me without thinking. Then, tonight when wed been talking Id seen this dreaminess overtake her as
she talked about places that she wanted to go and things that she wanted to do and damned if I didnt
have this odd desire to take her to all of them.
I wanted to see more of her. I wanted to know all the pieces that made her who she was. She had flat
out told me that she wasn't going to sleep with me. And when she did, I realized that I was okay with
that. Well, for now at least. I could leave that to my fantasies a little bit longer. For now, I just wanted
to hear her voice, listen to her stories and find out what it was that made her laugh.
I was losing it. I felt it taking hold slowly. But for once, I was okay with it.
She would be here the entire week. There would be more chances to see her, even if I had to make
them myself.

WHEN I WOKE up the next morning I had a mission: Find Quinn and get her to spend the day with
me. She was used to seeing me in this environment. All of her ideas of who I was came from this
circus. I needed to get her out of here and let her see the real me, away from the book world and what
she thought she knew. She had mentioned how much she loved the city and how she wanted to come
back sometime and visit the wineries. Well, why wait when I could take her to see those things?
I sent her a text asking her to meet me in the same hallway where we'd talked the day before. I
mentioned that I needed to talk to her about something.
I stared at the phone, waiting for her to agree.
She didn't reply.
I felt like an idiot.
I still went, hoping she would come. I rubbed my palms against my jeans nervously as I stood
tucked in this little hidden hallway. What if she ignored me? I couldn't get a real read on her. It was

obvious she had her reservations, but I felt like we'd moved past a lot of those last night. I paced three
steps left, three steps right.
I still wasn't sure why I was so drawn to her. Especially with her smart mouth and attitude. But I
loved that about her. I loved that she made me work to win her over. And it wasn't charm or charisma
that did it. I could give her my best line and she'd just laugh at me. Or worse, she'd walk away. The
only thing Quinn seemed to respond to was honesty. Every time I caught myself letting go and just
talking she rewarded me with a smile, or if I was really lucky a real conversation.
It was different. She was different than any other girl I'd been interested in. As a rule, I didnt do
details, but she made me want to push forward and get them, as many as I could. I wanted to know all
of her details.
I waited, the walls of my tiny nook getting smaller as I watched people hurry by to different
rooms. I felt like a criminal, hiding out hoping to remain unseen. I didn't want to risk having a group
of people around me if she did decide to find me. Shit, I wanted her to find me.
Minutes ticked by and I could feel the heaviness in my stomach begin to settle in and take root.
Maybe I had misread the previous evening. Maybe she hadn't been warming up to me at all. Maybe she
still thought I was a jackass and had just gotten better at tolerating me. I sighed and leaned back
against the wall, giving myself a pep talk to ease my bruised ego.
I pulled out my phone to see if I'd missed a text. Nothing. I slid it back into my pocket, defeated.
But then she was in front of me, her bag slung over her shoulder and looking behind her
nervously. It's strange, the feeling that washed over me instantly. It wasn't quite relief, although that
was there in spades, it was more like I'd just won a prize, like Ed McMahon was on my doorstep with
balloons and a giant check. Granted, Ed was dead, but the analogy still worked. I couldn't help the grin
that was plastered to my face.
"You came," I said.
"Hi," she said simply. God, I wanted to pull words from her. I felt like I was back at square one and
I was going to have to audition all over again.
"Come in closer, away from everyone," I suggested.
She raised an eyebrow, "Are you planning an attack?" she asked, teasingly. I smiled wider, I liked
that she was teasing me.
"Maybe."
We stood staring at each other. She looked adorable. I mean, she was still hot, but standing here in
her jeans and her yellow cardigan, hair pulled back in a ponytail and black rimmed glasses on her
nose she looked fucking adorable. I wanted to lean in and kiss her nose. How ridiculous was that?
"Keaton?"
Oh, right. She was probably wondering what it was that I wanted and I was staring at her like an
idiot.
"Sorry. You distracted me. I like your glasses," I fumbled.
She smiled, shaking her head. I'm glad I was able to amuse her. She waited for me to continue.
"I was just wondering if you might want to get out of here for a little while. I thought maybe we
could rent a car and play hooky or something," I offered.
Her head tilted to the side as if she had to decode my words. "Don't you have panels today?" she
asked.
"Just a couple. No one cares if I'm there or not," I said, watching as the tiniest of frowns settled
around her eyes.
"Do you know how many people I've heard talk about how excited they are to see you this
afternoon? Trust me, they'll miss you. It's not fair to them if you decide to skip out. They paid good
money to be here and to see you. Don't take that away from them," she said. Her voice was calm, there

was no judgment, not out right, but it made me feel like an ass for having even considered it.
"Okay, how about tomorrow. I'm free after breakfast. We could go then,' I offered.
She seemed to think about it for a long moment and I braced myself for her refusal. "I know you
have panels that you probably want to see, but I don't know . . . I just thought maybe . . ." I was
stumbling over my words. Where was my game?
"I'll go," she said.
"You will?" My smile was back, wide and I feared it was overtaking my face and any ounce of cool
that I thought I had.
"Sure, what time to do you want me to meet you?" she asked.
"Oh, um, ten? We can meet in the lobby if you want."
"Okay. I'll see you then," she smiled shyly.
"Will I see you later today or at happy hour tonight?" I asked. Suddenly tomorrow morning
seemed too far away.
"I'll be in your panel later," she admitted.
"Well then, I'm glad I decided to go," I laughed.
"I gotta go. I'll see you later, Keaton," she said.
"Okay. I'll see you later. I can't wait."
I watched her turn to leave and managed to wait until she was out of sight to give in to my urge for
a fist pump. I didn't even recognize myself at this point.

JUST AS SHE promised, I did see Quinn again that afternoon. Id been staring at the door waiting for
her to appear and when she walked into the meeting room I couldn't help but smile. Shed said she was
coming, but I hadnt been sure she wouldnt change her mind. Now that she was here, sitting five rows
back and three seats over, I realized how much Id really wanted her to show up. Even if I didn't get to
talk to her, I could look at her. I could study her, observe her. She still wore her glasses and the
simplistic look did something to me I hadn't expected. I was anxious for tomorrow. Anxious to spend
a day with her alone. I was still surprised that she had agreed to go and a little afraid that she might
still change her mind.
I tried to pay attention to the questions and listen to the answers of my other panel members, but
my eyes kept falling to her face, holding her eyes until she would look away. I thought about the small
freckle that rested above her lip and imagined what it would be like to place soft kisses there.
She was clouding my thoughts. I felt like we were in some sort of cat and mouse game. I loved
catching her eyes on mine, and the way she would look away quickly, not wanting me to know. I know
she thought she had me figured out, but damn if I didn't want to prove her wrong.
As the panel ended I waited to see if she would come towards the table to say hi. I watched as she
got up from her chair and started to move the other way. The fall of my heart surprised me as it hit
with disappointment. Then, as she neared the door she turned back and gave me the sweetest smile and
a small wave and I swear I felt warmth run through me. It was an odd sensation, but one that I wanted
to repeat.


I WAS A little nervous at the idea of seeing Keaton at the happy hour. Then again, Id had nerves in
abundance since Id agreed to spend the day with him. I was even more nervous now, after sitting in
that panel with him earlier. His eyes had constantly searched mine out and I was sure that everyone in
the room had noticed. How could they not? It had left me feeling flushed and I hated it. After all of my
resolve, I was fawning over him like everyone else.
I had checked my hair and make-up no less than seven times in the past fifteen minutes. I tried to be
subtle about it as I waited for Lily to primp and change clothes. Unfortunately, she was onto me.
"You look great, Quinny. He'll drool all over you, don't you worry," she smirked.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I huffed. She laughed softly and put another coat of
mascara on her lashes.
"Quinn, it's okay if you like him. He's gorgeous. And I don't know, he seems like a decent guy,
too," she shrugged. I couldn't help but scowl. Part of me still wanted to hold on to my initial judgment.
It had been easier to dismiss him when Id thought he was just an arrogant asshole. This other side that
I kept getting glimpses of was much harder to walk away from. So yeah, when he'd asked me to go
with him I'd said yes. Id shut my brain off and went for it. Lily was always telling me to let go and
live a little. And for once, I wanted to be that person. If ever there was an opportunity to be someone
different it was now. I was in a beautiful city and there were no expectations. No one here, aside from
Lily, knew anything about me. I could be anyone I wanted to be. I could even be brave and daring. I
didn't have to be logical with my lists on paper mapping out what I should do. For once, I could be
spontaneous and just feel what if felt like to go without a plan. It was liberating even if it was scary as
hell.
The way I saw it, it was a bit like a trial run. If I was planning on leaving my safety net and moving
to New York then I was going to have to learn to do things that scared me. I had to admit, there was
part of me that was afraid that the city would chew me up and spit me out and I'd end up right back in
Kansas City with all of my dreams crumbled around me.
I didn't want that. I wanted to go and thrive. I wanted to be able to soak up the fast paced world and
be better for it. I just wanted to live. Sometimes I worried about what I was missing out on, what it was
that I could be doing if only I weren't too busy thinking it over and analyzing it to death. What could I
do if I were brave? What would happen if I jumped first and figured it out on the way down? It was all
very unlike me, but somehow it felt necessary.
How that all translated into giving Keaton Harris a shot, I'm not sure. But it had and I was going
with it.
"Ready?" Lily asked, waking me from my daze.
"Yeah," I said. I shook away the last lingering bit of skepticism and gave myself one more glance
in the mirror as we walked out.
Lily chattered on as we took the elevator downstairs. She had met up with Miles this afternoon and
was planning to meet up with him later tonight. She liked him, I could tell, but I didn't think too much
about it. Lily liked a lot of people. She was a free spirit; she never seemed to get tied down to one
person. She thought being young meant you should explore the world.
"I'm starving, I hope that they have some snacks down here," Lily said as we rounded the corner
into the big meeting room that they had transformed into a reader's happy hour. I didn't hear much
after that, because I saw Keaton immediately upon entering the room. He was tall, so tall that he was
easy to spot among the sea of people. He was wearing a deep blue button down shirt and a pair of
low-slung, dark jeans. The blue of his shirt made his eyes enchanting even from this distance and in
the dim light. I shuddered to think of what they could do to a person up close.
I let out a deep breath and finally tuned back into what Lily was saying. Something about finding a

glass of wine and spotting a table of food. I followed her, resisting the urge to look back at where he
was standing, but I could still feel him in the room. It was something I was getting used to, the way his
presence filled the entire space, commanding the attention of everyone around him. It was a little
intimidating, a little annoying, and a lot mesmerizing.
Lily handed me a glass of wine and I took a sip, finally taking in my surroundings. It was still just
a big meeting room, but they'd done their best to add a little bit of flare. The lights were turned low
and they had accented the room with tall lamps that cast a soft glow across the walls. Lily and I found
a tall table along the edges so we could people watch. We weren't alone long and I smiled as some of
the girls that we had met earlier in the week joined us.
"I think were all going to cut out of here soon and go to one of the bars down the street for a bit,
you girls want to come?" Lena asked, tossing her long red hair over her shoulder. Wed met her in
one of our panels the first day here. She was a teacher, and fun as hell.
"Ooh, maybe. I was supposed to meet up with someone later, but that sounds fun," Lily said. "What
about you, Quinn, you want to go check it out?"
I caught myself glancing around the room before answering. Why was I looking for him? Lily
elbowed me and I smiled at my friends. "Sure, that sounds like fun," I agreed. Lily gave me a knowing
smirk, but didn't say anything.
It was the pull. It was distracting me.
"Well, I'm gonna try and sneak over and talk to a few people, but you wanna head out in like half
an hour?" Lena asked.
"Sounds good," I smiled back. I was irritated with myself. I wasn't here to swoon over some guy. I
was here to meet authors and like-minded readers. And here I was acting like a girl with a crush.
Worse, a crush on the popular guy who is probably just a big jerk, but because he is hot, you just don't
care. I hated girls like me.
It made me feel much better about ditching this and going out with the girls. That feeling tripled
when I looked up and noticed the source of my unease surrounded by a bevy of ladies. He just stood
there in the middle, beaming down at them. Ugh, who was this guy and what in the world did I think I
was going to do with him?
Two hours later I was sitting in a dueling piano bar with Lily, Lena and a group of about ten other
girls drinking brightly colored martinis and singing at the top of our lungs. It was exactly what I
needed to get my mind off of the man I'd left back at the party. This was where I belonged. I'd been
completely sidetracked and distracted by him. It was crazy. He was already making me crazy and I
hadn't even spent much time with him. Spending an entire day with him could very well be detrimental
to my sanity. Still, there was a part of me that really wanted to risk it. I didn't know what to do with that
side of me, so I drowned her out with another cocktail.
I drained the remains of my glass and looked up to see a new face at the table. Miles slid into a
chair next to Lily and gave us all a wave. My heart stopped as I searched the space behind him to see if
his brother was with him. I waited. Nothing. There was no sign of him. I couldn't decide if I was
relieved or disappointed. What if he was with one of those slutty, doe-eyed girls from the mixer? I felt
my stomach turn over with an unfamiliar pang of jealousy. Jealousy over a guy I didn't even know. It
was no wonder girls were crazy. Look what we had to deal with.
I focused in on the music and the chatter of the girls sitting near me. I did my best not to look
towards the door to see if Keaton would show up. I still looked, but I was too tipsy to give myself a
proper scolding.
It was late when we made it back to the room and while I was tipsy I had refrained from getting
drunk. Just in case I decided to go through with my date in the morning.
Who was I kidding? I was totally going on my date in the morning.

Unless I talked myself out of it.



I NEARLY CHANGED my mind. I almost stood him up. Lily told me I was being ridiculous, but after
seeing him surrounded by all of those people the night before I felt completely out of place. The
women who had surrounded him had been beautiful. They had laughed at everything hed said and
he'd played to them like a trained monkey. Okay, that was mean. It was his job in a sense, to be
charming, to sell his brand. I got it. I got that he was sexy as sin and even if hed had some boring,
nondescript job women would still be all over him all the time. It was just who he was. I got it. I really
did.
I just didn't know if I could fit in that world. Temporary basis or not. I couldn't figure out why he
wanted to spend the day with me anyway. I wasn't anything like those girls he was with last night. I
wasnt swooning over every word that he said and I certainly wasnt jumping into bed with him. So
why did he want to run around the city with me?
When I'd voiced all of this to Lily she had shrugged and reminded me life was better when you
didnt ask so many questions. Her advice: take what life gives you and make it significant. I rolled my
eyes and reminded her we were talking about Keaton Harris and I was pretty sure significant wasnt
on the agenda.
"Look," Lily had said that morning when I was getting ready. "You don't have to make a big deal
about any of this. You said yourself that there was more to him than you'd first thought. What is the
harm in getting to know that side a little better?"
"You don't think he's just doing all of this because he wants to sleep with me do you?" I'd asked.
Lily gaped at me. "Of course he wants to sleep with you. Were you in that panel yesterday when he
was eye fucking you across the room?"
I groaned, "Wrong answer."
She laughed, "Quinn, why are you being such a goody two shoes? You've never been uptight about
this kind of thing."
"I don't know. It just feels different with him. He sleeps with everybody. I don't need to be another
notch on his bedpost or a chapter in one of his books."
"You don't have to sleep with him. At the same time, you are an adult and he's a fine piece of ass so
it's perfectly okay if you do. Live a little. Why not let him be a chapter in your book," she said.
She wasn't helping. Fact was, I did want to sleep with him. A realization that had me feeling both
appalled and excited. I barely recognized myself. Three days ago Id written him off as a repulsive
playboy and now, not only had I agreed to spend the day with him, but I was contemplating becoming
one of his playthings. A voice in the back of my mind told me I was better than this. After all, I had
judged all of those other girls for the way they had acted and here I was, behaving the same way.
But, the new me, the me I was trying on, didnt waste time on that kind of over-thinking.
The new me showed up.
I left the room, took the elevator down to the lobby and scanned the room for him. He wasn't alone.
I should have known that he wouldn't be. I took a deep breath and walked straight to him, ignoring the
butterflies in my stomach and the whisper of insecurity as I joined the crowd.
The nerves faded a little when I saw his smile. The guy should have a toothpaste commercial with

that smile.
"Hi there," he said quietly, reaching his hand out to pull me into the circle.
"Hey."
"You'll have to excuse me, ladies; I was just on my way out. Have fun today," he said easily. They
all said their goodbyes and drifted away.
"You always have a crowd around you," I said, glancing around the busy lobby.
"Not really. Just at these things. Most of the time no one has a clue who I am. Pretty normal life
really," he said.
I nodded. That made sense. Still, I didn't know him in his normal life so this was all a little weird
for me.
"Are you ready to go?" he asked, taking my hand and twining his fingers with my own. I felt a
shock run through me at the touch, but I pushed it aside.
"Sure. Where are we going anyway?" I asked.
"North. Do you like wine?" he smiled.
"I do," I said feeling excitement build within me. I had been hoping to find a way to visit some of
the wineries, but with our schedules figured there was no way to make it happen.
"Good. I got us a car." He gave my hand a squeeze and led me out of the hotel. There sitting at the
curb, guarded by a doorman was a shiny, black car that sat very low to the ground. The kind that
looked expensive and fast and that I had absolutely zero knowledge of except to know that I should
probably be impressed. He thanked the doorman, slipping him a tip and opened my door for me.
"I guess they were all out of economy sedans?" I asked.
"Looks like it," he smiled.
I slid in against the smooth leather and glanced around the interior. This car was fancy. It was
fancier than anything I'd been in before. I played with the edge of my scarf, a nervous habit.
"Ready?" he asked.
I nodded. He put the car in gear and the engine revved, it matched the acceleration of my heart.
I didn't say much as Keaton weaved through traffic on his way to the highway that would take us
over the Golden Gate Bridge. I was so fascinated by this city, too busy taking in the sights to realize
that we were riding in silence. It was weird, I'd been nervous about this very thing. What it would be
like if we didn't have anything to talk about. But here we were, ten minutes into our journey and there
was no talking. And I felt completely comfortable with it.
I looked over at him, relaxed in the driver's seat, hand resting casually on the wheel, the other one
on the gear shift that sat between us. He may have his arrogant side, but seeing him like this I couldn't
help but think that he'd earned it. How could you be that good looking and that comfortable with
yourself and not have a self confident attitude? It was just who he was.
"Isn't this bridge amazing?" he asked as we approached the entrance to the Golden Gate Bridge.
"I love this bridge. Look at the fog. I feel like I'm in a postcard or something," I agreed.
I watched as the fog drifted over the water, making it seem like we were in a cloud. It was beautiful
and dreamlike and one more reason I was falling in love with this city.
Suddenly Keaton broke the silence, humming under his breath. I whipped my head towards him,
"Are you humming the Full House theme song?"
"It needed to happen," he shrugged.
"Best show," I agreed laughing.
"So, now that I have you trapped in this car with me for awhile, why don't you tell me more about
yourself?" he suggested.
"What do you want to know?" I asked.
He shot me one of those dazzling smiles he was so good at. "Everything."

"That's a little daunting," I laughed.

"Fine. We'll make it a game. Ill ask you a question and then you get to ask me a question. Nothing
is off limits." I thought about it for a minute. Nothing off limits. That could get interesting. But I didn't
have many skeletons in my closet, so he couldn't really uncover much. Plus, having open access to
him, when he was so much a contradiction and a mystery to me was too good of an offer to pass up.
"Deal. You can ask first," I offered.
He smiled again, his tongue sliding across his lip as he contemplated where to begin. It made me
swallow hard.
"Okay, let's see. Let's start with the easy stuff," he grinned.
I released a breath and waited. It felt good, sitting here with him. I liked the butterflies that danced
in my stomach, and I liked the way his voice not only set me at ease, but sped my pulse when it
dropped an octave. I could already tell that there were many layers to Keaton Harris and I was looking
forward to unraveling them one at a time.
"Favorite color?" he asked.
I laughed, "Hard-hitting journalist."
"No, this is how it works. You start off easy and get your subject to trust you. You can't go in for
the kill right away. Watch and learn," he teased.
"Okay, my favorite color is green," I said.
"What kind of green? Grass, forest, sage, radioactive?"
"Green green. Just plain old green," I laughed.
"Just checking," he smiled.
"What about you? What's your favorite color?"
"I like blue," he answered. Why did I feel like I should have a notebook to write this all down?
"Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?" he asked
I scrunched my nose and shook my head. "I don't really like chocolate," I admitted.
"What? You don't like chocolate? Really?" he sounded shocked.
I shrugged, "Overrated. I like peanut butter though."
"Well, I guess that's something," he said. I watched him shake his head as if he was still trying to
wrap his head around the fact that I didn't like chocolate. I got that reaction a lot; it was a very
unpopular opinion. "I don't like French fries," he said thoughtfully.
"Really?" I asked, now it was my turn to be shocked.
"Nope."
"What do you eat with your burger?" I asked.
He shrugged, "I don't know. Just depends."
"French fries are my favorite food," I said simply.
He shot me a grin. "You won't hold that against me will you?" he asked.
"I'm not going to lie, it's going to be an obstacle," I said.
"What if I promise to always give you my fries?" he offered.
I pretended to think on that, weigh his offer carefully. "It might help me overlook it," I smiled.
"I guess I dodged that bullet then, didn't I?"
"I guess so," I agreed smiling. Not just any smile. A flirty, girly one. God, help me.
"Dogs or cats?" he asked.
"Both," I said.
"Same," he smiled.
"I feel like we are at speed dating," I laughed. I was so distracted by him and his list of questions
that I nearly forgot to take in the scenery as we drove north.
"It may seem trivial, but the details are important," he pointed out.

"Okay, then, what is your favorite holiday?" I asked.

"You mean besides my birthday?" he asked.
I laughed and then laughed harder at his bewildered expression. "So you're one of those," I said.
"One of those?" he asked.
"You know your birthday isn't actually a holiday," I pointed out.
"Tell my mom," he deadpanned.
"Oh, I'm sure she is in total agreement," I said.
"She is very smart," he said.
"No doubt," I agreed.
He finally cracked a smile. God, he looked amazing when he smiled like that.
"So, what is your favorite holiday?" he returned the question.
"Thanksgiving," I said quickly.
"A good old fashioned food coma, huh?" he smiled.
"Of course. Plus, it's like the kick off to Christmas. The whole family is there, but you don't have
the stress of gifts. You just get to eat and nap and enjoy the people you love. And its the day before
you are officially allowed to put up your Christmas tree without ridicule and judgment."
"Oh so you're one of those," he teased, throwing my words back at me. I laughed. I was a little
surprised at how easy our teasing was. I liked it. It made me comfortable.
"My turn. Let's see," I pondered my next question, careful to pick one that I didn't mind answering
back. "What do you do when you get bored?"
"Good one. Actually, I tend to fill up my time. I never seem to have enough of it as it is. I don't
keep normal hours. There are lots of nights I am up writing until dawn and then just grab a nap in the
morning. If I do find some down time I usually go for a run or read. Binge out on watching the 24
hour news network," he shrugged.
"You binge watch news?" I asked.
He laughed, "Hot, huh? I thought that was what I was going to do with my life, so it still fascinates
me."
There was something sexy about his confession. I had a thing for smart guys. The fact that he was a
smart guy wrapped up in that body seemed too good to be true. Yet here he was. He looked over at me
and caught me staring. He held my gaze for a moment only breaking it when I turned away.
"You're turn," he urged.
"Oh, um . . . I read. Big surprise. I always have something to read just in case. Waiting rooms,
lines, they dont bother me, I smiled.
"Yeah, I read a lot in airports and planes. Less distractions," he agreed.
Speaking of distractions, I was suddenly distracted by the huge winery that came into view as we
crested the hill. The landscape was lined with neat rows of vines that went on as far as I could see.
Keaton slowed the car down as we came up along a winding road that led to a huge stone house. The
landscaping around the main building was exquisite; everything bright and vivid. It was a living
postcard.
"This place is awesome," I said as Keaton moved the car into a space. "Are they open? Do people
taste wine this early?" I asked, glancing at my watch. It was still before noon.
Keaton smiled, "You'd be surprised."
I felt the giddy excitement bubble up inside me as he exited the car and made his way to my side to
help me out. The simple gentleman's gesture went a long way in my book because it wasn't expected
anymore. He offered his hand and I took it, focusing on the warmth of his skin against mine. As we
walked towards the entrance his thumb began to draw lazy circles across my hand. It sent tingles
across the surface of my skin and made it hard to pay attention to anything else. I barely noticed when

he opened the door and ushered me inside, not until the connection was broken. I blinked out of my
haze and blushed when I saw the hint of a knowing smile on his lips.
The winery wasn't too crowded this time of day, but there were a few people there for tastings.
Keaton had arranged for a tour of the grounds before our tasting which I was really excited about.
We walked along the edges of the vineyard as our host pointed out different rows and explained
what grapes were used for which wine. It was all very precise and organized. Keaton asked lots of
questions, ever the curious journalist. It was fun to see his genuine fascination and the way he would
rattle off follow up questions until he was sure he had the whole story straight in his mind. It made me
feel like I was getting yet another glimpse of the real Keaton.
We spent an hour touring the grounds. Our guide took us everywhere from the storage rooms
where the wines were barreled to the big tubs of juice where it would sit and ferment. I even got to try
my hand at stirring the grapes the old fashioned way. I was pretty sure I wouldn't look at a bottle of
wine the same way.
It was all fascinating. Not to mention the landscape here was unbelievable. I made the decision to
come back here someday. It really was the perfect set up. How could you go wrong with such
beautiful scenery and permission to be tipsy this early in the day?
Apparently, Keaton had an entire day of winery hopping in mind. I felt kind of bad since he was
driving. He only got a couple of sips here and there. I tried to refrain from drinking too much, but
some of it was so good I had a hard time putting down the glass.
It didn't take him long once we were back on the road to start back up with his questions.
"So how about you and Lily. You've been friends a long time?" he asked.
"Oh yeah, since we were kids. We met in first grade and have pretty much been friends ever since,"
I said.
"She seems fun. My brother seems to like her a lot," he said, shaking his head at the thought of his
kid brother.
"Lily is a force of nature. She's always been the one pushing me out of my comfort zone. She lives
by a go big or go home philosophy," I laughed.
"And youre more of the logical one. Always thinking things out?" he asked.
"What makes you say that?" I asked. "Do I come across as stuffy and boring?" I didn't much like
that assessment.
He laughed, "Not at all. Quite the opposite. I just meant that you come across as someone who is
careful. Or rather, thoughtful. He seemed to think about his words for a moment, What I mean is,
you seem like the kind of person who studies things. Like you wouldnt just make a decision on a
whim. Is that wrong?" he asked.
"No. I am like that. My mom always called me her little observer. I would sit in a room full of
people and just watch everything around me. I was always trying to figure everyone out, ya know? I
figure to do that you have to gather all of the details," I said.
He nodded thoughtfully. "I love to people watch. Sometimes I go to a park and sit for hours and
assign stories to people who walk by," he smiled.
"Always the writer," I pointed out.
"I guess. Honestly, I think that's what drew me to news. I always wanted to get the real story. I
thought if I could uncover the truth it would mean something," he said, a far away look on his face.
"Do you miss news?" I asked.
"Sometimes. But I love the fiction world. There's a lot of freedom there. Now I focus on creating
someone's truth instead of just uncovering it."
I smiled at that. That was a nice way to look at it. "Your stories still touch people," I reminded him.
He threw me a big smile. "Yeah, that's cool," he admitted.

The silence drifted between us for a few moments while we both reflected.
"I'm glad your logical side let you come with me today," he said finally.
I laughed, "I've been working at being more spontaneous this trip. I promised Lily I'd go with the
flow for once."
"I bet she got you into so much trouble as a kid. Has she always been like that?" Keaton asked
chuckling.
"She is very persuasive," I admitted.
"I can see that."
"Actually, it's one of my favorite things about her. If it weren't for her I'd have missed out on a lot
of fun things. Her mom died when she was seven. Not long after we met actually. It was really hard on
her. I mean, of course it was, to lose your mother at such a young age. But she says that it taught her to
appreciate life and not to be afraid of it. She wants to soak up every experience that she can. I guess
I'm lucky she takes me along with her," I laughed.
"That's a pretty amazing outlook to have about the whole thing," Keaton said.
"Yeah. I admire her. She's really good people," I agreed. "So you and Miles are close? You said he
travels with you a lot?" I asked.
"When he can. It's nice to have him around and he's a big help at things like this. I tend to get
sidetracked and miss things if he's not around to keep me organized. And he can get away with more
when it comes to wrangling me than a stranger can.
"He's two years younger?" I asked. I was pretty sure that is what Lily had told me.
Keaton nodded, "Yeah, he's the baby of the family. We have an older sister, too."
"Close family?"
"Very. No real dysfunction, which these days, is pretty dysfunctional if you think about it," he
laughed. "My parents have been married for thirty years and they still have date night every week."
"Then it's no wonder you write romance," I smiled.
I noticed the strange look cross his face, as if my statement had surprised him. He took a beat
before responding, staring straight ahead, his grip tightening on the wheel. "I think they are the
exception. Its hard work. People give up too easy now. That kind of love doesnt exist in real life. At
least not anymore. His voice was tight, as if he were revealing some deep secret.
"You don't believe in fairytales?" I asked, not because I wanted him to, but because I'd expected him
to.
He shrugged, dismissing my question and I could tell he was feeling uncomfortable.
"A romance writer who doesn't believe in love," I pondered just under my breath. His gaze snapped
to mine, surprised.
I just smiled at him.
He cleared his throat, still uncomfortable with where the conversation had gone. Or maybe he was
just uncomfortable showing me something he kept under wraps. I guess that made sense. It didn't
really bode well for his brand.
"What about you? Big family?" he asked, clearly wanting to change the subject.
I sighed, letting him shift the spotlight. "No. Only child. Daddys little girl. Which is funny because
he always wanted a boy. He is a huge baseball fan and when my mom was pregnant he went out and
bought a closet full of little Kansas City Royals' jerseys. Then he got me," I laughed.
"I'm sure he fell in love quite quickly," Keaton offered.
"Oh yeah, he's amazing. He still dragged me to all of the games growing up. I make sure to go
with him every summer. That way he still gets to buy all the jerseys," I laughed.
"That's really nice," he smiled.
"Yeah, if I move to New York I'll miss those ballgames," I admitted.

"Still an if?" he asked.

I shrugged. "No, I'll go. It's just hard for me to leave my comfort zone. I'm not always good with
making big moves. Im cautious," I admitted. Then, I felt embarrassed because once again saying it
out loud made me feel boring.
"Yet here you are . . . with me," he pointed out. That doesnt feel very cautious.
He had a point. He most definitely was not the safe option. And once again, I was struck with the
realization that I really liked it.



HAVE YOU EVER been on one of those dates with someone where everything just kind of falls into
place? Everything feels easy and effortless and you don't even remember to stop and make sure you
doing all of the right first date things? Its like an instant connection takes over and it just feels-- easy.
Ever have one of those?
I hadn't. Until today.
My dating history has been filled with quick rendezvous and the occasional casual fling. It was rare
that I pulled out all the stops like I had today. I usually just went through the motions. But today was
different. When shed put me off a day Id taken advantage of the extra time and made plans. I
researched the best wineries and even set up special tours to make sure she got the full experience. I
wanted to impress her, not because I wanted her to sleep with me, but because I wanted to see her
smile. Of course when she smiled, I couldnt help but want to sleep with her. I'm still a guy and she's
still sexy as hell and the idea of getting her beneath me has been on my mind since I first saw her.
But with Quinn there is this whole other layer and that is what has me so intrigued. I want to peel
everything back and know all the bits and pieces. I know she's probably sick of my questions, but I
can't help but ask them. Each answer that she gives me makes me want to ask twenty more. She
fascinates me. Shes a contradiction of hard and soft, quiet and fierce. The careful girl who is slowly
learning she wants to be brave. And the best part, she has no idea how unique that makes her.
We pull up to another winery and I smile over at her. Her cheeks are still flushed from the last stop.
"Ready?" I asked, unbuckling my seatbelt. She gave me a nod, following my lead. I met her on her
side of the car and took her hand as we walked up to the main house. This was a smaller vineyard and
family run. The views were breathtaking with rolling hills of green that stretched out for acres. It was
stunning. I imagined what it would be like to live somewhere like this; to spend my days on a deck
with this as my backdrop.
"Not a bad backyard is it?" she said, mirroring my own thoughts. I gave her hand a squeeze in
agreement.
"Not at all," I agreed.
We were met inside by two brothers. They were Italian and greeted us with big smiles. "Welcome,
friends. Are you ready to taste the best wine you have ever put to your lips?" one of the men asked. He
introduced himself as Vinny and I smiled at the typical Italian name. It fit him though.
"Most definitely," Quinn said, flashing them both that smile that could melt the hardest of hearts.
Hell, it's been melting mine.
We followed them over to the counter where they did their tastings. It was pretty quiet here, aside
from the booming voices of the Basilico family who all seemed to be equally as boisterous as Vinny
and his brother Sam. There were a few other people here doing tastings at other ends of the bar, but
each group had their own guide.
"We've got quite an amazing list to share with you," Vinny said as he began lining up glasses in
front of us; a white and red for each of us. As he does he tells us a little bit about the winery and the
family history. It turns out Vinny's great uncle had started the winery, but when he had died
unexpectedly at the age of twenty-six, his brother, Vinny's grandfather, had taken over to make sure

that his big brother's dream reached fruition. It had been a family affair ever since.
Vinny was a good storyteller weaving the tale as he gathered a few bottles of wine and some
crunchy breadsticks. Quinn eyed him curiously and he laughed. "Wine makes you hungry," he said
simply. She looked doubtful, but smiled anyway, the warmth in her eyes lighting up the entire room.
At least it seemed that way to me.
"Well, that and it's nice in between, cleanses the pallet . . . keeps you from falling off your stool if
you get too drunk, no?" he laughed.
"Good call," she agreed laughing with him.
"I'm sure your man would catch you, maybe you like that better?" he teased. She turned her gaze to
me and gave me a wink, her smirk causing my stomach to flip. That was different.
I watched as Vinny poured us two glasses of crisp white wine and as I watched Quinn focus on his
explanation of grapes and aging and barrels I started to feel something unusual. Something different.
Nerves. I was suddenly nervous. Butterflies in my stomach nervous. I tried to shake it off, but there
was something about the way she leaned in and engaged with Vinny, laughing easily, asking questions
and the way she would steal glances at me, pulling me in, that had me feeling like I couldn't catch a
deep breath.
"Go on, give it a taste and let me know what you think?" Vinny encouraged. We sniffed and
swirled, looking for legs like we'd been taught earlier in the day and then each took a sip. It was good,
really good. I nodded to Vinny giving him a thumbs up. "Yeah? I knew you'd like it. It is one of our
most popular." Vinny said.
"What do you think?" I asked Quinn, who was taking another sip. I watched as she swallowed, the
slight movement of her throat as the liquid slid down causing me to shift in my seat.
"So good. I think I want to take a bottle of this home," she said.
"You wait, Miss Quinn, you are going to want to take them all home. My family is good with the
wine. We'll be your favorite. You'll see." I laughed at Vinny's confidence as he continued to flirt with
my date.
He was right of course; we really did want to take them all home. I had Vinny set us both some
bottles aside and then grabbed a bottle of the Chardonnay that we'd sampled first. Basilico's sold a
basket of fruit, cheese and bread and offered up a hillside with spectacular views for their best
customers. Id made sure we were considered such customers. I picked up the picnic basket that
Vinny's sister had put together and led Quinn outside.
"This was fun," she said as we made our way down the path towards the secluded spot that Vinny
had offered. It was just down from the main house and tasting room and offered up a small square of
land overlooking the rolling hills that we had admired on our way in. It was the perfect place to
spread out a blanket and take in the view.
Quinn was flushed and a little tipsy from the day. Wed had lunch earlier, but she could probably
stand to eat a little more. I set down the basket and began to spread the blanket out when she took it
from me offering to help. The sweet smile she gave me made my heart do weird fluttering things. I'd
think I had a murmur if it wasn't exclusively tied to her presence.
I watched the blanket fly open from her hands and then drift towards the ground in a graceful
decent. I was completely caught up in the sight of her as she smoothed out the wrinkles that I nearly
forgot about the picnic basket in my hand. She sat down and then looked up at me quizzically. "Are
you just gonna stand there or are you going to give me some of that cheese? Cause I have to say, I'm
starting to feel a little drunk."
I shook myself from my fog and laughed sinking onto the blanket beside her. "Lush," I teased.
"Like this isnt all part of your master plan. Youre so smooth Mr. Harris, what with the wine and
the view," she smiled up at me. Maybe it was the genuine way it lit her face or the lack of expectation

in her eyes that had me feeling off kilter. Or maybe it was just that when she looked at me it felt like
she was seeing everything. I couldn't hide with her and I realized that I didn't want to.
I tore my gaze from hers and started pulling out the food. I was so far from smooth right now it
was embarrassing. Something had changed over the course of the day. She was holding all of the
cards. I guess maybe she had been all along, but now I knew it.
Quinn grabbed up the loaf of crusty bread and tore off a piece. She watched me, amused and
curious. "Are you okay?" she asked. I watched as she nibbled on the bread and for a moment I forgot
to breathe. Literally. I started to choke as my body reminded me to take in air. I bent over coughing,
trying to pull it together.
"Keaton?" I felt her hand on my back, rubbing comforting circles. Smooth. Definitely smooth.
"Sorry," I managed. She looked concerned, trying to figure out if I needed some kind of help.
"Are you sure? Let me get you some water," she said moving towards the basket.
"No. I'm fine really. Sit back down. This is my show, remember?" I said.
She took her place back on the blanket reluctantly. "Your show, huh?" she teased, her body relaxing
a little as I went back to my task.
"Do you want a cup? I mean a drink? Can I get you a drink? Would you like some wine?" I asked.
For Gods sake, what was wrong with me?
I saw the smile play at her lips. It was almost as if she was trying to keep from laughing. At me. I
was killing it.
"Wine would be nice. Thank you."
I took the bottle and tipped it towards her glass. The cool crisp liquid sloshed around ungracefully,
nearly escaping the top of the glass. "Shit. Sorry." I said. I wiped the glass and handed it over.
There was the smile again. She thought I was an idiot. It was written all over her face. She thought I
was a jackass. I was a jackass.
"You're laughing at me."
She shrugged, folding her legs beneath her. I followed her lead and settled beside her.
"I'm usually a lot smoother than this," I laughed nervously. Why the fuck was I so nervous around
her? I'd been fine with her before. Now all of a sudden I was fumbling all over the place.
"Hmmm," she said thoughtfully, sipping her wine.
"What, hmmm?" I dared to ask.
"I like you better this way," she admitted.
"You do?" I asked confused.
"Yes. This version of you seems more real. I like this version of you," she said.
"But you don't like the other version of me?" I asked.
She shrugged again. "I don't know that I cared enough about him to have taken the time to found
out if I did," she said. Well how about that for brutal honesty. It took me aback for a moment and I
couldn't find words.
"You know, both versions are real. I just don't let everyone see this side of me. I think you are
making me nervous," I said softly.
"I make you nervous?" she asked a small frown on her face. It made the skin between her eyebrows
bunch up. It was adorable.
I shrugged.
"That's interesting," she said thoughtfully.
"Interesting how?" I urged. I thought I wanted the answer to that question, but now that it was
hanging in the air between us I wasn't so sure.
"I just wouldn't have pegged you as someone who gets nervous," she said.
I released a breath, "It doesn't happen often."

I leaned back on my elbows as we looked out over the hills of grapevines. It was beautiful here.
Peaceful and perfect. We sat in silence, both enjoying the stillness of the space.
Thank you for bringing me here, Keaton, she said, finally breaking the quiet. Her voice was soft,
far away as if she were still lost in thoughts and dreams. The sound made me smile.
Its been a really good day, I said in return. It didnt do it justice, but to me it was the kind of day
I had to file away and examine later. Its details had been so perfect, so vivid, so unexpected that to
simply assign them to memory without first cataloguing each and every moment would be dismissing
them as ordinary. Looking at Quinn now, as she looked out across the hills I knew there was no
ordinary in this day. There was nothing ordinary about her.

I HAD TAKEN a chance coming here today, spending it with a stranger; a stranger who until recently
I hadnt even decided if I liked very much. It gave me hope for taking chances. This one had turned
out pretty well. More than that, it had been an incredible day and the company had been surprisingly
perfect.
"Would you like some more wine?" Keaton asked taking the glass from my hand. I watched as he
moved to the basket and retrieved the bottle wed been nursing and poured some into each of our
glasses. I couldn't help but study the way his back flexed under the movement, or the way his arms
moved under his shirt. The man was sexy as hell, but he carried on with his task completely oblivious
to it. He knew he was sexy, don't get me wrong, but today he wasn't showing off at all and I liked it.
Each time I got a glimpse of this Keaton I found myself a little more vulnerable to his charm. It
was disarming and innocent. It was harder for me to connect him to the cocky, arrogant bastard that
I'd always assumed him to be. Maybe I'd judged him unfairly or assumed too many things about him.
Either way, when he was like this, laid back and stripped bare of bravado I couldn't help but like him. I
was pulled in and intrigued and hungry to learn more about him.
For that reason, I chose to ignore the man we left back in the city. Maybe if I simply focused on
this version of him, I wouldn't feel the need to slap him or douse him in disinfectant.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked, studying me, his eyes squinting under the sinking
sun. His t-shirt was wrinkled and his hair fell unstyled in his face. This glimpse of him imperfect
made him exceptionally appealing.
"How am I looking at you?" I asked.
He focused his gaze on me for a moment longer. "Like you are dissecting me," he said finally.
"Maybe I am," I agreed.
"And what are you finding out with such intense examination? Or do I want to know?" he smiled.
His smile made my stomach flip.
"Maybe I'll just keep it to myself for now," I smiled.
I watched as his teeth sunk into his bottom lip as he returned the inspection. I held my breath as his
eyes drifted over me and then pulled in a ragged one as he moved towards me slowly. He stopped just
in front of me, leaning close to my ear and keeping his voice low as he said, "Secrets don't make
friends."
I smiled, unable to stop myself.
"I already have friends," I said. I wanted to mask the fact that my heart was beating fast with his
proximity.
He pulled back and his smile left me feeling stunned. The way it always did if I wasn't careful to

guard against it.

"Im sure you do. But do you have the right kind of friends? These are the questions that you need
to ask yourself, he suggested.
"Go on," I encouraged.
"Well, you probably don't need anymore casual acquaintance friends. I mean, that's just more
Christmas card postage." I laughed at his logic. "And you probably already have a lot of book club
friends. You're probably good on those," he offered.
"Maybe," I said. He was still really close to me, his face close enough that I found myself focused
completely on the way his lips moved when he spoke.
"Maybe you could use a special friend," he suggested.
"A special friend? That sounds creepy," I said with a nervous laugh. I tried to tease, but the fact was
I could feel the heat from his body and it left me no room for jokes. I knew where he was going with
this line of discussion, but I couldn't bring myself to stop it.
He laughed, Let me rephrase, one like me. Maybe I was imagining it, but if sounded like his
voice had dropped an octave. It was deep and dark--bold. More like the Keaton wed left back in San
Francisco. This time I didn't find it annoying or arrogant.
"I'm going to need details. If I'm going to decide," I said softly.
"Well, a friendship of a special variety allows for certain privileges."
I swallowed hard, "Such as?"
He smiled. He knew he had me. "Well, for instance, if I were such a friend, I might brush my lips
against your skin here for instance," he said, his voice soft as the breath against my flesh as he
brushed his lips just below my ear. "Or I might kiss your neck and watch your entire body hum with
heat," he said, showing me exactly what he meant.
"Okay," I said trying to catch my breath - but it belonged to him now.
"Okay?" he asked. I couldn't answer him. His fingertips were tracing my jaw and across my lips as
his gaze flicked from my eyes to my mouth.
"Keaton?" I managed. His tongue moved slowly across his lips and I knew that in a moment they
would descend onto my own.
"Yes, Quinn?" he asked softly.
Closer.
I could feel the weight of his body slowly lowering over mine.
"I, um," I started. I didn't have words. He'd stolen those as well.
So I let him kiss me and then it didn't matter anymore.
I'd been kissed before. Lots of times. I wasn't a naive wallflower. But the moment he kissed me, I
realized that every kiss I'd had up until this moment had been a dull, lifeless imitation of the real thing.



AFTER SPENDING THE day with Keaton I decided to let go of the logical. At least for the remainder
of my trip. It was hard not to get caught up in it all; wandering the hillsides of wine country, getting to
know who he was beneath all that bravado and then that kiss. The man knew how to kiss. I had never
once actually felt my knees go weak or had my foot actually do that thing where it lifts in the air
before, but he made the ordinary feel like a fairytale and I liked it.
I wasn't having any delusions about it really going anywhere and surprisingly, I was okay with that.
For once in my life I was embracing living spontaneously. It felt good, it felt freeing. It felt like I was
someone else, someone not afraid to jump first, who wasn't so busy asking questions or making plans
that she missed out on the good surprises that life had to offer.
Keaton did that for me. Our day together had been easy and effortless. It had been unexpected. I
liked him. I liked the shy smile he got when he nearly spilled the wine, I liked the line of questions that
hed rattled off, like he was researching me, like every detail was important. I liked the way he'd
opened up and told me about himself, giving me a glimpse of someone that I wasn't sure many people
got to see.
Thinking back on how I'd shut him out at the beginning was a little sad now, because I'd nearly
missed out on days like today.
I couldn't help the smile on my face. I couldn't help the giddy laugh that escaped my lips as I moved
about my room getting ready for bed.
I wished Lily was here. I wanted to tell her all about it. Then again, keeping it to myself almost
made it more special. Like a gift that was meant only for me.
I had no idea what would happen tomorrow when I saw him, but I didn't really want to think about
it too much. Thinking is where I got myself into trouble. There was no room for reason right now.
No room for the logical or the careful.
I pulled on my boxer shorts and my tank top and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. I was too
wired to actually sleep, so I pulled out one of the books I'd picked up in the gift room. I had made it
through the first two pages before I realized that my mind was too busy playing out memories of the
day to actually absorb any of the words on the page. Maybe that's what happens when you live inside a
fairytale, the fiction ones lose some of their splendor.
A soft knock landed on the door and I glanced over at the clock. It was almost one in the morning.
It was just like Lily to forget her key. I padded to the door and glanced out the peephole, just to make
sure there were no serial killers waiting to be let in.
My breath caught when I saw the dark figure standing on the other side. I opened the door without
thinking about the fact that I had already changed into my pjs and washed the make up off of my face.
"Hi, what are you doing here?" I asked curiously as Keaton leaned against the doorjamb.
"Fuck, Quinn, are you trying to kill me? What are you wearing? You can't open the door wearing
that," he said. He walked into the room, grabbing my hand to make me follow as he kicked the door
shut.
"Seriously?" I laughed.
"How short are those shorts?" he asked. I smiled, because he no longer looked so much protector

as he did hungry.
"I was getting ready for bed," I said, crossing my arms over my chest, suddenly remembering I no
longer wore my bra. I felt the blush warm my cheeks as I shifted from foot to foot.
"I'll say, shit," he teased.
"So what are you doing here?" I asked again, hoping we could stop talking about my lack of
clothing.
"I wanted to see you," he said simply. I cocked my head at him, waiting for him to continue. When
he just smiled at me I couldn't help but laugh.
"You just saw me. All day," I pointed out.
"I know. But we didn't talk about if I would see you tomorrow and I think of all the things that we
talked about that one is pretty important."
"Do you want to see me tomorrow?" I asked. I knew what I wanted.
"I do," he smiled, half shy boy, half cocky playboy. It was a deadly combination.
"Okay," I agreed.
"How about breakfast?" he asked.
"Okay," I said again.
"I like you this agreeable," he smirked.
"What time?" I asked. He glanced over my shoulder at the clock on the nightstand next to the bed.
"1:30?" he asked.
I shook my head, a sigh on my lips. He gave me butterflies. He made me want to follow him to an
all night diner right now. I realized that I would go just about anywhere with him. "You're cute," I
admitted.
"Okay, fine, how about 8:30? I'm sure you have stuff planned for the day," he said. I nodded. Lily
and I had our day mapped out. As much as I liked being around Keaton, I had to remember that I was
here with my best friend. I wanted to make the most of my ticket to this convention.
"I can do 8:30," I agreed feeling giddy at the thought of seeing him tomorrow.
"I'll swing by and pick you up."
"What a gentleman," I teased. He raised a questioning eyebrow as if to dispute the claim.
"Just so you know, I'm having very ungentlemanly thoughts about you right now," he admitted. I
felt the blush return at his words.
I pretended to huff, but secretly loved his admission.
He took a step towards me, until I had to look up to see his face. He was so handsome. Sometimes
it had the power to leave me in a stunned stupor as I took him in. I held my breath as his hand moved
to brush my cheek and released a stuttered sigh as his thumb brushed against my bottom lip.
"I had an amazing time today," he said softly, his voice mixed with gravel.
"You said that before," I managed.
"I wanted to say it again," he shrugged.
"Okay." My one word answer made him smile.
His hand moved to the back of my neck and he tugged me closer. I stood on my tip toes to
accommodate his request. I wet my lips in preparation for the kiss he was promising me with his gaze.
My whole body hummed with the anticipation. He moved in, so close that his lips were a breath from
mine.
"I wish I could stay here and do to you all of the things that are going through my head right now,"
he said softly. His words had my insides throbbing, twisting with what exactly that might entail. "But
I'm afraid your roommate will be here soon and I'd hate for her to find us in such unguarded
moments," he breathed. At this point I wasn't so sure I cared if she showed up or not. The thought must
have flashed across my eyes because I felt his smile.

"Sweet dreams, Quinn," he offered just as he finally closed the last breath of space between us and
kissed me. He started slow and sweet, gently exploring my lips with his own. They were soft and firm
and he held all control as his hand still rested at the back of my neck.
I felt myself melt into him, surrendering easily. He deepened the kiss expertly, his tongue moving
across my own, his teeth nipping at my lower lip. Weak. He made me so weak.
I was breathless as he pulled away and if he hadn't been supporting me I might have fallen forward.
"Goodnight, I'll see you for breakfast," he smiled. He kissed my forehead and then turned to go. I
watched him as he moved back to the door.
"Goodnight," I finally got out just as he turned and gave me one final smirk.
Shit. That man was trouble. Who knew I was such a fan of trouble?
Lily was dragging the next morning. I didn't even hear her come in and I'd lay awake forever
before finally succumbing to sleep. I wanted to tell her about my day with Keaton, but she was not
having it. If she made it downstairs at all before noon I would be surprised.
So I got up, showered and got dressed. I stared at the clothes I'd brought for ten solid minutes,
contemplating making Lily get up to help me pick something out. Nothing I'd brought seemed to be
good enough. Finally, after changing three times I made myself stick with the jeans and green sweater
that I had on. I chastised myself a little for caring so much. I didn't want to care that much, yet here I
was, caring.
At 8:15 I was ready to go and standing in the middle of our room fidgeting. I didn't even recognize
myself. Then I reminded myself that it was okay, because I was someone else this week.
"You are already ready to go?" Lily's hoarse voice startled me.
"Are you even alive?" I laughed going back to sit on the edge of the giant bed we were sharing
thanks to an overbooked hotel. She peered out from under the covers with one half-opened eye.
"I think I had a little too much fun last night," she admitted. I laughed.
"I didn't even hear you come in," I said.
"I'm surprised. I fell over my suitcase at one point. Where are you going?" she asked.
I couldn't stop the smile that ghosted my lips. "Breakfast. Keaton is coming by around 8:30," I
admitted.
That woke her up, both eyes opened and she smiled through her sleepy haze. "So, yesterday went
well?" she asked.
I nodded. "He's a good guy," I said.
"You like him," she smiled.
I shrugged again. "I like hanging out with him," I said.
Before she could dive into that statement and pick it apart with questions I heard the soft knock on
the door. I jumped to my feet, ignoring Lily's knowing laugh.
"Are you coming downstairs later?" I asked.
Lily stretched twisting in her sheets. "Yeah, I'll be down. I'll text you. Go enjoy your breakfast and
that fine piece of man candy," she teased.
There was another knock on the door so I grabbed my bag and answered.
I wouldn't have thought it possible to forget how good looking he was since I'd seen him only
hours before. But it still surprised me. In fact, it made my breath catch and my heart stumble.
"Good morning," he said with an easy smile.
"Hi," I returned, adjusting the strap of my bag on my shoulder, mostly to have something to do.
"Hungry?" he asked.
I nodded, "Yeah, let's do it." I felt nervous. Yesterday things had been really easy, so why did I feel
like a swarm of butterflies were overtaking my body? Maybe because I'd admitted to myself that I
liked him. Or maybe it was because looking at him, in his perfectly faded jeans hanging low on his

hips and that blue t-shirt stretching over his muscular arms had me wanting him to pull me to him and
kiss me senseless.
I was in serious danger of falling into the deep end.
We moved down the hall towards the bank of elevators, neither of us feeling like we needed to fill
the silence between us. As the doors closed us into the car we leaned against the back wall. I glanced
over at him, my eyes colliding with his sexy smile. "You look amazing," he said. "You should wear
green every day."
"Thank you," I smiled, letting his compliment warm me all over as his eyes took me in from head
to toe, as if he were taking a silent inventory or memorizing every detail. It surprised me that it didn't
make me feel nervous. It made me feel brave.
The doors opened to the busy lobby and Keaton took my hand in his as he weaved us through the
crowds. He waved and smiled to people who acknowledged him, but he didn't stop to talk. Eventually
we made it through the front doors and out of the hotel.
"I thought we could go somewhere away from the hotel, it will be quieter," he suggested. "Are you
cold? Do you want to walk or grab a cab?" he asked.
"Let's walk," I suggested. I had no idea where we were going, but this city was amazing and while
there were lots of hills I didn't mind walking along its streets. There was so much character here.
As we walked we talked about our plans for the day. I had some cool reader events that Lily and I
had wanted to check out and he had reserved some time to write.
"Where are we going anyway?" I asked finally after we'd been walking for awhile.
"Mama's," he smiled.
"Is that a restaurant?" I asked.
"I hear it is a must, long lines, crazy waits. I figured we had to check it out," he said. I liked that I
was going to get to check something off of a must see list with him.
He was right, the line was long but I didn't mind having to wait. The air was crisp, just the way I
liked it. While we waited he peppered me with more random questions, like what my favorite
breakfast food was or how I took my coffee. It was silly, all of the things he kept filing away, but I
liked it. I'd never been one to talk about myself, typically I was the one asking questions. But there was
something about the way that he asked them and the boyish smile he'd get when he liked one of my
answers that made me want to keep playing his game.
Mama's was awesome. It was small inside, with tables close together and a hum of activity and
conversation. I could see why there had been a line, seating was limited, but as we took our seats and I
stole a glance at the menu I realized that food looked spectacular.
"Momlettes," I mused reading over the menu.
"I don't know what to choose," Keaton muttered as he weighed the options.
Finally we each chose an omelet, picking different ones with a promise to share.
"This place is cool. Youre becoming quite the tour guide," I said as I poured some cream into my
coffee.
"I'm glad you came. It's a nice way to start my day," he smiled as he stirred his own cup of coffee.
He did it slowly, holding my gaze as he did. It was distracting. He was constantly stealing my
attention.
"I get the feeling that this isn't a normal thing for you. Taking girls out for breakfast," I teased. He
laughed and shrugged, choosing not to confirm. "Especially when there wasn't some sort of overnight
lead in," I mused.
"I wonder if you will always think so highly of me," he smiled. I watched it crinkle his eyes so I
knew he wasn't offended, only amused.
"It's not that. I'm just curious," I said sipping my coffee.

"Of my breakfast habits?" he asked.

"Why you are here with me? Does it go against your rules?" I asked, meeting his gaze.
"I have rules?" he asked. He was enjoying this line of questioning; watching me try to unravel the
layers of him.
I shrugged, "I bet you do. Most playboys do," I teased.
The sound of his deep laughter warmed me through and I couldn't help the wide smile that it left
behind.
"You have got to stop calling me that," he laughed.
"Because you don't see yourself that way?" I asked
"It makes me sound like I should be wearing a smoking jacket," he laughed. I smiled at the visual.
"I'm not nearly as cool as you think I am. On a normal day Im lucky if I see another human being.
Most of the time I dont even shower. How does that fit into your theory?" he asked, the corners of his
mouth teasing.
I studied his face and I couldnt help but smile at the image he painted. Somehow I imagined even
in that state of disarray he would be stunning. Even if he spoke gibberish, that face could still charm
the pants of any hot blooded woman. You add in the confident demeanor and that sexy voice attached
to smooth words and there really was no hope for anyone when he turned it on. Case in point. I was
sitting here mooning over him against my better judgment. It was probably better that he locked
himself away most days.
I never said I thought you were cool. I only implied it was the perception, I pointed out, my smile
playful even as I tried to hold it back.
Oh, of course, my mistake, he said.
Ill let it slide. His eyes held mine and his gaze felt heavy and warm.
"You want to know why? Why I'm sitting here with you?" he asked, leaning in as if to let me in on
a secret.
I nodded, ignoring the way it was nearly impossible to swallow.
His smile lifted and he reached across the table to take my hands in his. "I like you, Quinn," he said
simply. I waited for him to continue, but he didn't. He turned my hand over, placing a kiss on my palm
and returned it to the table. I watched as he leaned back and took a sip of his coffee.
"That's it?" I asked.
"Isn't that enough? Trust me when I say, I don't like a lot of people," he mused.
That made me laugh. "I like you too," I admitted.
"Finally, I win her over," he said.
"I'm trying something new," I smiled.
"Me?" he teased.
"Sort of, I admitted.
Explain, he said.
Trying to do something because I want to do it and not because it makes sense," I clarified.
His brow furrowed, "I don't make sense?"
"Not really. Not in the real world anyway," I said. He waited for me to continue, obviously
intrigued.
"I'm a logical person. I plan things, I make lists. I try to think three steps ahead so I'm not surprised
by anything. It's not the best plan of attack sometimes, but it's how I've always been. But, here, with
you, I like being surprised. So, I figure that this week, while I'm on vacation, I can try and let all that
other stuff go and just see what happens," I said.
"So you're just trying it on?" he asked.
"Sort of," I admitted.

"And what happens when the week is over? You go back to logic?"
"Look, I know the deal. When this week is over I will probably never see you again. You'll go back
to your life and I'll go back to mine. But when I look back at this week, I want to look back and know
that I lived it. That I didn't get hung up on details that caused me to press pause and miss out on
something really amazing. Does that make sense?" I asked.
"So, you know that this is only about this week? You're not expecting anything more from it?" he
asked levelly.
"I'm not naive, Keaton. I like you. I like spending time with you. If I get to do more of that this
week, it would be great. But I'm not expecting anything past that. I know we have an expiration date," I
said, happy that my voice came out sounding strong and unwavering.
I thought I caught him flinch a little, but before I could question my words, he was smiling again,
staring at me with that thoughtful expression.
"So, you plan on seeing me more," he asked.
I shrugged, "Maybe."
"Well then, if we only have a week, we should probably make the most of it," he smiled, and the
mischief that found his eyes excited me, filling me with that sense of freedom again.

I WAS FINDING it difficult to concentrate on my day. My head was clearly in the clouds. Instead of
listening to a panel about blogging I was remembering the look on Keatons face at breakfast.
This was bad.
It was so good.
Lily wanted to go dancing, so she had suggested that the four of us go out tonight. I just wanted to
spend more time with Keaton, so Id agreed. The tables had turned. Id catch myself questioning my
sanity, trying to reason how I had changed my mind about him so suddenly, but I quickly squashed it.
One week. Id given myself one week. No questions. No reasons. No logic. This was about what I
wanted to do right now, without second guessing tomorrow. Today I wanted to dance with Keaton
Harris. Tomorrow could wait.
"Quinny, are you coming or are you going to sit here until the next one starts?" I looked up at her
confused and only then realized that people were clearing out of the room while I stared blankly
ahead.
"Sorry," I mumbled as I grabbed my stuff up and stood. She was smirking at me, fighting back the
laugh that showed all over her face anyway.
"I'm quite enjoying this side of you," she teased.
"Shut up," I said, slapping my hand on the notebook she held and sending it to the floor in a
childish act of retaliation. I walked towards the door, her laughter echoing behind me.
"You want to skip out early and go get ready now? I'll curl your hair if you want," she said falling
into step beside me.
I felt the smile tug at my lips, "Let's go."

I'D NEVER REALLY been much for dancing or clubs; too much activity, too much noise. But tonight
it was all different. Tonight I was lost in the experience. The music pulsed in the air around me,
vibrating through my entire body. The crowd on the dance floor moved together in a sea of chaos and
sweat. It, along with the three shots of tequila I'd had, made it a heady experience.
But all of that faded away when his eyes were on me. Keaton commanded my full attention.
Tonight I was in his world and with his protective hand on my waist, pulling me closer, guiding me
through the crowd, I was up for anything. He dared me to let go of insecurities and for once I wanted
to shed all of my inhibitions. That's what he did to me. It surprised me how much I liked it.
The music seamlessly transitioned from song to song, each beat bleeding into the next. My feet
were tired, but I didn't care. Besides, I felt pretty confident that he'd catch me if I fell. The way he
stared down at me had me considering testing the theory.
There was sweat on his brow, the hair around his face damp with exertion. He was sexy as sin and
it was making me imagine what his sweat slick skin would feel like sliding against my own. It made
my stomach clench with sweet anticipation as flashes of fantasy flitted though my brain. I felt the heat
spread throughout my body and hoped my flush would be covered by the exertion of dancing.
I watched as his eyes furrowed and then his tongue skated across his lower lip. "Are you having
dirty thoughts about me, Ms. Ryan?" He startled me with his abrupt question. My eyes went wide as I
searched for a good comeback.
"You wish." Lame. His eyes lit, amused as he moved in closer, pulling me to him with strong arms.
I loved his arms; I especially loved the way his skin felt beneath my fingers as I rested my hands on
his biceps.
"You have no idea how much I wish," he agreed, his mouth against my ear. How he could caress
my entire body with his voice alone was a special talent. I saw clearly why girls were ready to do
anything he asked. He commanded attention and being the object of that attention, of that intense focus
was powerful. I wondered if he knew the full extent of his charm. Probably. He used it too well not to
be fully in control of it.
"You're dangerous," I said unexpectedly, the thought out before I could filter it.
"I know," he said. No apologies.
The music thumped around us and we moved together. His arms remained fixed around me and the
heat of his body left me feeling needy. His hand moved to push a strand of hair from my face and
rested against my cheek. He brushed his thumb across my bottom lip, pulling it down slightly. I
watched as he lowered his face in slow motion. The people around me faded away. I forgot to move
to the music. I could only concentrate on him, and his mouth as it descended to my own. My body
sagged against his as I gave into what I'd been craving all night. His tongue slipped past my lips and
his hand moved to grip the back of my neck, holding me steady and taking me completely under his
spell. I gave myself over to him not caring about who was watching or what they thought. I wanted
him to touch me. I wanted his hands on every part of my body whether that be here or in some dingy
bathroom stall, I didn't really care.
When he stepped back and I could see it in his eyes, he wanted the same thing. "Let's get out of
here," he said roughly.
"Okay." I wasn't sure that he heard me, but he didn't need to. He grabbed my hand and pulled me
behind him as he headed towards the door. There were cabs lined up outside and we grabbed the first
one.
My ears were ringing as he slid into the seat beside me. He gave me a wide smile and pulled me
close to him. "You don't think they'll care that we left them do you?" he asked. I'd nearly forgotten all
about Lily and Miles.
I shrugged, "Honestly, who knows if they were still there." He laughed as he ran his hand down my

arm, drawing feather-soft designs across my skin.

"Miles will take good care of her," Keaton assured me. I wasn't worried.
It was after midnight, but the hotel lobby was still full of people. We found the elevators and
Keaton pressed only one floor. His floor. I was tired, but glad that the evening wasn't ending just yet. I
should feel some sort of anxiety. The normal me would. By not pressing the button to my own floor I
was sending my own message. Maybe it was the tequila or just my new temporary philosophy that had
me not caring.



I FOLLOWED KEATON into the room. It was huge. I'm pretty sure you could fit three of mine in it.
There was a spacious living area with a couch, a lounger, a giant television, and a small bar that sat
near a massive window overlooking the bay. Beyond the living space there appeared to be two
additional rooms. I guess Miles and Keaton weren't snuggling in a king like Lily and I were. The
visual made me giggle and Keaton turned to look at me questioningly. I waved him off and ventured
further into the room.
"This is nice," I said turning in a slow circle to get the full 360 view.
"Check out the window," he urged. He grabbed my hand and pulled me behind him. I tumbled
forward, nearly losing my balance.
"Wait. Shoes," I said. He caught my forward motion and steadied me upright. I kicked off one shoe,
then the other and then looked up at him with a lazy smile. He was so tall, especially now that I was
barefoot.
"Better?" he smirked.
"Much. Lead the way."
He was right, the window was a must. Once you got close enough that you weren't just staring at
your own reflection you could see the lights of the Golden Gate Bridge. It was a stunning view. "I
love this city," I sighed.
"Me too," he agreed.
"Do you want something to drink?" he asked. I shook my head, still focused on the view.
"Okay, I'll be right back, make yourself at home." He kissed my cheek and wandered into one of
the rooms off of the main space. I turned and took a better look my surroundings. This place was
fancy. Fancy, but lived in. It didn't have the feel of a stale hotel room.
I wandered into the room that Keaton had disappeared into. His bedroom. He wasn't there, but the
light was on in the adjoining bathroom. Curious, I wandered around his room, trying to get a sense of
who he was by looking at this space. It wasn't easy in a hotel room but I could gather pieces. For
instance, his shoes were lined up in a neat row next to the wardrobe. Dress shoes, Chucks, running
shoes. But there was a sweatshirt hanging across the chair along with a discarded pair of jeans. I
couldn't tell if he was neat or messy. I walked over to the wardrobe and opened it up, wondering if he
was someone who emptied their suitcase completely on a trip, or just pulled out what he needed each
day. His clothes hung neatly. I was an emptier too. I don't know why that made me smile, to know that
we were the same in that regard, but it did.
I heard the bathroom door open and turned to see Keaton standing in the doorway watching me,
the bathroom light bathing him in sexy shadows. And God help me, his shirt was unbuttoned and
showcasing the hard lines of his delectable body. I felt the flush spread across my skin. He stood there
cool and collected, knowing exactly what he was doing to me. It made me want to kiss him again. He
was an amazing kisser. Just thinking about it I could almost feel his lips against my own. His kiss left
that kind of mark.
"Are you looking for my wallet?" he teased. I looked at him, confused, until I remembered that I'd
been snooping through his closet. I felt the blush on my cheeks.

"Just getting to know you," I said.

"What do you want to know?" he asked, walking towards me. I held my breath, because his walk
was predatory and I constantly felt like I was his prey. He brushed past me, close enough that our skin
touched and the faint smell of his cologne tickled my nose. He went to the bed, kicked off his shoes
and climbed on top of the covers. I watched as he propped a couple of pillows behind him and leaned
back. Then, he held out a hand in offering. To me. To come to his bed.
"What?" I asked. Like I didn't know what he wanted. I was buying time.
"Come snuggle with me," he said.
"Snuggle?" I questioned.
"Yes, snuggle. I feel like snuggling. And this bed is insanely comfortable. Come here."
I took a step towards him, my brain going back and forth. Logic. Live. Logic. Live.
"Quinn," he said, breaking through the mind clutter.
Live.
I climbed onto the bed and into the little nook he'd made for me. You know how you read books
and they talk about how it's the perfect fit, like you were made to be right there? It happened. It felt just
like that. I took a deep breath, inhaling his scent and feeling a little drunk on the tingles it left behind.
"See, this is nice," he said as he pulled me tighter against him.
"This bed is really comfortable. If I had this bed at home I'm pretty sure I would never leave it," I
admitted.
"Who says we have to leave it?" I felt his smile as he pressed his lips to the top of my head.
"I'm pretty sure that housekeeping would kick us out eventually," I laughed.
"That could get awkward," he agreed.
We fell silent as his hands moved in slow circles across my back. It was soothing and arousing at
the same time. It was an odd sensation.
"I have more questions," he said finally.
"More? I'm pretty sure that you've gone through them all at this point," I laughed.
"Oh, no, I could keep this up for ages," he laughed. I heard it echo through his chest, mixing with
the sound of his heartbeat and it was instantly one of my favorite sounds ever.
"Fine, what do you want to ask now?"
"Tell me about your first kiss," he said softly. I smiled at the question, loving the way he made me
want to tell him everything.
"Jason Wright. I was fourteen. He was a year older and he kissed me at the skating rink. It was wet
and messy and I didn't like it at all," I laughed.
"Did you kiss him again?"
"Once. It wasn't any better. I thought everyone was crazy wanting to do it and I swore it wasn't for
me."
"Poor bastard," Keaton sighed.
"What about you?" I asked.
"I was fifteen," he started. I lifted my head, looking up at him, surprised that he'd been fifteen. I'm
not sure why I thought that was unusual. Maybe he wasn't always such a playboy.
"What?" he asked.
"Nothing, I just figured you'd have been an early bloomer," I admitted putting my head back down
against his chest.
"You mean you expected me to be a man whore even as a preteen?" He was teasing me, but I still
felt bad about the assumption.
"Sorry. Go on," I urged.
"Her name was Jessica. I thought she was beautiful. She had this long blond curly hair that went all

the way down her back. I thought she was amazing. I asked her to the homecoming dance and then
kissed her on the dance floor," he said.
"Did you kiss her again?" I teased, asking the same questions that he'd asked me.
"A few times. Until she broke up with me to go out with the new kid at school. I was heartbroken,"
he sighed.
"Poor bastard."
He laughed.
"So, what's the worst thing you've ever done?" he asked.
I laughed, "Oh, so now you get to the good stuff, huh?"
"Go on, tell me," he pushed. He was having fun, back to his new hobby of researching me. I liked
the way he dug for answers. And I liked that he let me ask the questions back. There was so much
more to Keaton than I'd thought. He'd proven that to me countless times over the past few days.
"Well," I said, giving it some thought. "I had a phase where I stole things, I admitted.
"You mean like you stole gum from a gas station or something?" he asked, clearly unimpressed.
"No, like I stole my friend's Cabbage Patch doll because my mom didn't get me one for Christmas
and I didn't want to have to wait to get one."
Keaton laughed, his body shaking against me.
"You did not!"
"I did. And then I tried to convince my friend that I'd had one just like hers all along. It was
hopeless," I said embarrassed.
"Wow, Quinn, that's horrible," he said trying to sound appalled. I wasn't worried, because he was
still chuckling.
"I know. My mom found out and made me give it back and apologize. I told her I did. But really I
just left it on my friends doorstep and pretended not to know anything."
"And here I thought you were some sweet angel growing up. You were practically running a theft
ring. Are you sure you weren't looking for my wallet earlier?" I pinched his side and laughed when
he yelped.
"Okay, Okay . . . I'm done.
"You're turn, Mr. Perfect. Tell me about something horrible that you did. We have to even the
score," I said.
"Well, I, on the other hand, probably have too many to choose from," he admitted.
"You can start small," I said.
"Alright, when we were kids we'd always spend a few weeks each summer at our grandparent's
house. We always looked forward to going out to their place. They had this big field near the house
where Miles and I used to play. We'd build forts and shoot bb guns at cans. We would play in that field
for hours. It was the best.
So, anyway this one particular summer we headed out to the field and found out they were
clearing everything to build some new hardware store. We were pissed. There was a big tractor out in
the field and they had all of those surveying markers up. So, we moved them. The flags. Some of
them we moved a few inches, some a few feet. We thought it would stop them from building it. Then,
we realized that the tractor they were using had the keys in it. At least it did when they'd gone home
for the day. Miles threw them as hard as he could. I still wonder if they ever found them."
"Oh my God, You probably set them back days or weeks," I laughed.
"It was our field. We felt it was our duty to take it back."
"I support it. Bad seeds need to stick together."
"Oh, baby, you could never be lumped into the same category as me. Thievery aside, Id still put
you on the tame side," he pointed out.

"Says the man who I berated endlessly for days," I said. That felt like a lifetime ago.
"We both know that I deserved all of that," he said softly.
I moved to look at him, needing to see his face. "No you didn't. I didn't know you. I shouldn't have
made assumptions." He traced a finger down my cheek and his eyes looked apologetic.
"That's just it. You were dead on with a lot of things, Quinn. Thats the truth. You want to know
what the worst thing I've ever done is?" He swallowed hard, "Ive used this job and my status to sleep
with a lot of women."
I felt myself tense in his arms and his grip around me tightened.
"I know its not the nicest thing, but its easy and it felt good for a time, no strings, just pleasure,"
he said. I put my head down on his chest again, needing a break from the honesty in his piercing gaze.
It left me with a rush of conflicting emotions.
He smoothed my hair and let his confession sit between us. I knew he slept around. I'd known that
from day one. But as I got to know him I saw so much more than just a shallow man looking for his
next conquest. I'd seen someone real, genuine, driven. I'd seen someone that moved me and had made
me feel alive these last few days. Maybe I'd been fooling myself; maybe I was only seeing what Id
wanted to see. Had he seen something in my eyes that made him worry I was looking for more than
this week? Was this his way of reminding me to stick to my own rules?
"Like this, like us?" I asked quietly, the question escaping before I could think it through. I had no
disillusions that this thing was going past Sunday, but I hated the idea of being a casual fling too.
"No, not like this," he answered quietly. "This feels different."
I relaxed against him, happy to hear him say that, even if it wasn't completely true. For now, I just
wanted to pretend that it really was different.
I chose to believe him, because it felt different to me. And even if I knew the truth deep down, for
now I was happy living in the moment.
I listened to his heartbeat beneath me, it's steady rhythm lulling me into a peaceful state. I felt the
tug of sleep start to take me under and part of me wondered if I should get up and go to my own
room. But then his arms wrapped around me and tucked me in close to him. I heard his breathing
steady out into slow intakes and relaxed releases. It felt too good to be next to him so I snuggled
closer and sunk into a peaceful sleep.
When I woke up the next morning I was still tangled around him, the heat of his body warming me
like direct sunlight. I was hot, but too content to move. I breathed in, taking in the faint scent of his
cologne. I needed to stretch, but I didn't want to move and break the spell that I was still under.
"You're beautiful when you sleep." I felt his voice in his chest and smiled at the gravelly sleepy
tone. Finally I moved, rolling to my side. It was cooler instantly. I lay my head on the pillow and
looked over at him, finally getting a chance to take him in. God, he was gorgeous. His hair was
disheveled, the stubble along his jaw darker with additional growth and his chest-- the lines of his
body made my mouth water.
"Have you been awake long?" I asked hoping I hadn't drooled on him.
"Not long," he replied his eyes shy and focused at the same time. It was unsettling. I couldn't put my
finger on what he was thinking. The shy smile I understood. This was new territory for us, it was
intimate and the daylight filtering through the window made everything sharper. But the focus in his
eyes, the intense inspection that he ran over me made goose bumps rise on my flesh.
"What are you thinking?" I asked finally.
His smile grew, more confident and more like the Keaton that I was used to. "I was just chastising
myself," he said evenly, his eyes still focused on me. I watched him, liking the way I felt under his
stare.
"Why is that?" I asked.

"I had you in my room and in my bed all night and not once did I kiss you properly," he said. I felt
the air leave my lungs. Well, there was no way he was kissing me now. I could still taste the stale
alcohol in my mouth and it was enough for me to keep him far away from me no matter how good of
a kisser he was.
"Oh, well, that's a shame," I admitted.
"It really is," he agreed. Before I could register the movement he had me pushed back against the
bed and was hovering over me. "I should really rectify the situation, don't you think?" he asked.
I shook my head fiercely and covered my mouth with my hand. "No. No, I don't think that's a good
idea at all," I muffled out from behind my protective mask. I watched as he smiled, amused at my
horrified expression.
"What's the matter, Quinn? Cat got your tongue?" he teased.
"You are wrong. Do you know that?" I laughed, turning my head to the side as he dipped his head
down to kiss my neck. The warmth of his lips and the wetness of his tongue made me twist beneath
him. My body didn't give a damn about our bad breath. It craved the connection and the heat that
flooded me when he touched me.
"What about here? Is it okay if I kiss you here?" he asked, continuing on a path of kisses along my
throat, and down to my cleavage.
"Yeah, that's okay," I sighed. I felt his smile against my skin. He knew he'd won and I was pretty
much putty beneath him.
"You taste so sweet," he said, the vibration of his voice against me causing a pull from somewhere
deep inside me. His mouth moved lower, brushing soft kisses along my collarbone. I couldn't stop the
way my breathing picked up or the soft sigh that escaped me.
He kissed all reason straight out of my head.
What's more, he made me like it.
I moved my hands up his body, feeling every hard line drawing me closer. He ran his lips across
my skin, his teeth teasing me, causing my body to arch against him. I heard his low throaty growl in
my ear. That sexy little moan of yours is going to be the death of me, Quinn, he warned.
I hadnt even realized Id made a sound. Id have to worry about being self conscious about it later,
once he was done with whatever he was going to do to me. His hands slid up my sides, beneath my
shirt and I welcomed his touch against my bare flesh. I quickly lifted my arms so he could free me of
the fabric. I wanted to feel him pressed against me, craved it.
His knee moved between mine, moving them so that he could settle against me, pressing closer,
taking his teasing seduction one step closer to promise. I was lost in the feel of him, lost in the
sensation, lost in the low words he spoke as his mouth traveled over my body, across my abdomen,
towards my hip.
The slam of the front door startled us both. Honey, Im home. Keaton froze, his mouth still,
rested just above the clasp of my jeans.
Fuck, he growled, laying his head against my stomach. I really hate my brother.
I laughed nervously. Surely he wouldnt just barge into the room would he? Keaton? Are you
here? Were going to be late. I was out with Lily. You have that thing this morning. He rambled on
from just outside the door. Keaton made no move to hurry.
Um, Keaton, should you tell him youre here? I asked.
He looked up at me, unconcerned, drawing lazy circles across my skin with his fingertips. Maybe
hell go away, he suggested.
It doesnt sound like it. Besides, I should probably get back to my room. Im sure Lily is looking
for me.
He frowned, Im sorry. Ill get rid of him. I watched as he pushed himself off of the bed and

sauntered into the living area. I grabbed my shirt and slipped it back on, feeling a tinge of doubt hit
me as I searched for my shoes only to remember that they were still in the living room. My mind was
racing with all of the things Id be doing right now if Miles hadnt interrupted. All of the things that I
desperately wanted to do. With a stranger. Was I really cut out for what was essentially a one night,
well, morning stand? Was I taking this whole not thinking thing a little too far? It was one thing to
take a chance and another to just jump into bed and become a notch on someones bedpost. Someone
who had admitted to me hours before that he talked women into meaningless sex all the time. Shit.
That was me. I chewed my thumbnail and waited for him to return.
Hes gone. I sent him down for coffee. Sorry about all that, he said casually.
Its fine. I better get going. Ill see you around later? I asked, standing quickly, a little too quickly
to play it cool. Keaton caught my elbow and pulled me to him.
Hey there, whats the matter? Why are you running out on me? he asked quietly.
Im just going back to my room, I said.
Quinn. He only said my name, but he was telling me that he saw right through me.
I didnt know what to say so I just stared back at him.
Youre freaking out on me, he said.
No Im not, I scoffed. Yes I was.
He held my gaze for a moment as if waiting for me to admit it. I wasnt going to, but that didnt
mean he was going to let me off the hook. He stepped closer and my body reacted instantly to his
proximity.
Im not going to lie to you and say I dont want to be with you. Everything in me wants you, he
said as he traced the back of his knuckles across my cheek. I felt desire swirl through my stomach and
ache low in my core. But were more than this would have been. I wouldnt have let it get out of hand
this morning. I meant what I said last night. This is different. Dont over-think it, okay? he said.
And just like that my nerves settled and my doubt disappeared.
Okay, I said.
He smiled, shy and genuine and a piece of my heart became his. I had no idea how to balance my
temporary whims with my long engrained impulses, but both sides seemed to be having trouble
resisting his charms.



MY WEEK WAS busy. I'd planned it that way. I liked making the most of these trips and interacting
with as many people as I could. That was the point. But now all of my obligations felt more like
chores. I should rephrase that. I was distracted. I was in this unfamiliar spot where I just wanted to
follow a girl around like a little lost puppy and beg her to take me home. I know, I heard how that
sounded. I saw how pathetic it was, but it didn't change anything.
The more time that I spent with Quinn, the more time I wanted to spend with her. It didnt matter
what we did. I could talk to her for hours and never be bored. I could sit beside her in silence and be
perfectly content. I could kiss her lips until they were swollen or taste every inch of her body until she
begged me to stop. It didnt matter. Every moment with her made me want another one to follow.
Waking up with her this morning and seeing her hair sticking up and that sleepy look on her face
as she rejoined the world had been nice. Itd had me wanting to spend the entire morning doing all of
the things Id missed out on doing the night before.
I wanted to play hooky again today and spend the day with her. But she had plans and I had
responsibilities. It sucked. I'd made her promise to spend her evening with me. I was ready to plan the
best date around. I was still new at this whole dating thing, but I wanted to impress her. I wanted to get
dressed up and take her to a fancy dinner. Then, I wanted to lock her away in my room and not let her
out of my sight. But that would have to wait. First I had to woo her. While I may not have a lot of
hands on experience with this stuff, I had essentially written the playbook.
Then again, Quinn deserved more than a superficial, everyday date. I wanted to give her a story
that couldn't be found in a book. I wanted to redefine what romance was. Fuck, I was cheesy. I hated
assholes like me. It made me wonder if they had all had a moment like this. That turning point where
they gave in and did all the cheesy shit they'd always ribbed their buddies about, the shit they'd
laughed at and swore would never take them down. Was I just the latest one to take the fall?
Probably. But the way I saw it, if Quinn could open herself up this week and be someone else and
venture away from her norm, then so could I.
I spent part of my day writing. I should have been working on stuff for Parker, but instead I was
writing about the girl I'd left this morning. I wrote about her hazel eyes and the soft waves of her
caramel hair. I wrote about how her laugh sounded like tinkling bells when she was tipsy on wine and
the way she sighed softly when I kissed her. She was so clear in my mind that I wanted to get it all
down on paper. If she was only mine for a week, I wanted to remember her to perfection. I wanted to
immortalize her in words, paint pictures of her with my imagery and know that whenever I wanted to
go back and remember this week, I could do it in full vivid color.
Quinn Ryan was the kind of woman that classic novels were written for. Even the greats would
have reached for pen and paper to try and capture all of her complexities.
By the time I was dressed to pick her up that night, I was more than ready to see her. I even swung
by and got her flowers. I'd never gotten around to asking her what her favorite was, but Miles had
helped me out and I was kind of excited to surprise her. No, I didn't recognize me either.
I knocked on the door and waited. And waited. I was starting to wonder if I'd been stood up when
the door swung open and Quinn stood there looking flushed, but beautiful.

"Sorry. I was . . . running late," she stumbled. Shit. She was stunning. She was wearing a dress,
green, with thin straps and a skirt that flared out just a touch, landing just above her knee. It was
simple, but elegant. I stood, stunned for a moment, before finding my voice.
"You wore green," I smiled. She smiled shyly. I knew she'd worn it just for me and it made my dick
throb in a way that I hoped wasn't immediately evident. But man, she did things to me. "I brought you
these," I said handing over the bouquet of white tulips, held together with a simple ribbon.
I heard the small gasp and warmed at the smile that followed. "Tulips are my favorite," she mused
as she took in the scent of the petals. "I love them. They never last long enough though, a week or two
and then theyre gone until the next year," she said softly almost as if she were talking to herself. I
couldn't help but notice the small frown that crossed her face, but it was gone when she met my eyes.
"Thank you. They are perfect," she smiled.
I waited as she found a makeshift vase and filled it with water, setting the flowers on the nightstand
next to the bed. Her words echoed back to me, they never last long enough.
I was starting to realize just how appropriate that was.

HOLY CRAP BALLS! The man was insanely gorgeous. No matter how many times I saw him it still
surprised me. It took my breath away. It legit made me forget to take in oxygen at times. It was a bit
ridiculous. He smiled, his lips quirking up like he knew exactly how he was affecting me. He was
more than used to it. I wasn't the first, so I didn't feel a whole lot of shame about it. Honestly, I liked it.
I liked the way he overtook the room and took up all the space, all of the air.
"You ready to go?" he asked, his voice low and sultry. That voice paired with that black button
down and the steel gray tie that he wore, I was a goner.
"Okay,' I managed. He stepped forward and brushed the back of his knuckles across my cheek,
brushing the hair away. My breath stuttered again as he leaned in to kiss me; his mouth brushing
against mine, teasing me before finally connecting. His lips were soft and I couldnt help but wonder
how he kept them that way. His hands cradled my jaw, tucked against my neck as he took control of
the kiss, taking it deeper, taking me under. I would let him kiss me anytime he wanted for as long as
he wanted. The man taught me what it was like to truly melt. He set my insides on fire, liquefying me
until I melted into him. He had real skills and my body wanted an up close and personal
demonstration at every opportunity.
When he pulled back from me I tried to take control of the daydream look on my face, but I'm not
sure that I succeeded. He kissed my nose and then my forehead. "You look stunning," he said.
"So do you, I returned. Boy did he. I had to admit that I was pretty happy about having this sexpot
on my arm tonight. I felt no shame in that confession. None at all.
The valet grabbed us a cab and Keaton helped me inside. He followed and rattled off an address to
our driver. I melted into my seat when he placed his hand on my thigh. It rested there, at the hem of
my dress, his fingers grazing my flesh and heating me up from the inside out. I shifted in my seat.
The last few days had only left me with a growing sense of anticipation and need. I kept telling
myself that I should keep this casual, that kisses were one thing, but it would be smart to guard my
heart by not sleeping with him. But right now, I wasn't giving my heart a second thought. Instead I was
secretly wishing he would run his hand up my thigh, beneath the material until he reached the new silk
panties I was wearing. I shook off the fantasy and blushed when I realized he was watching me
intently. He could probably guess what I was thinking. In fact I was pretty sure of it, because his eyes

had taken on a lusty haze and his tongue was running across his lower lip.
"Shit, Quinn, I don't know if I'm going to be able to make it through dinner if you keep looking at
me like that," he said, his voice low and gravelly. It pulled at the want deep inside me, causing all
kinds of havoc on my lady parts.
All day I'd been thinking about it. Imagining what would have happened if Miles hadnt shown up
this morning. He may have said he wouldnt have taken things too far, but I was pretty sure hed have
taken me some place incredible. The thought made me blush more. Keaton moved and before I could
take a breath he was pressed against me, his face inches from my own.
"I really want to take you to dinner. I want to show you the city," he said, his voice low and quiet so
that the cabdriver couldn't hear. Not that it mattered, one glance in his rearview and he'd be getting a
show. "But right now, if I'm being completely honest, seeing you in that dress, with that blush across
your cheeks and that fire in your eyes, I'm more than willing to get on my knees and see what kind of
sweet trouble I can find under that skirt."
I swallowed hard and shifted in my seat. I wasn't so sure he was bluffing. I opened my mouth to
speak, but nothing happened. He brushed a soft teasing kiss across my lips as his hand moved up my
thigh, just as I'd imagined. I shifted, urging his touch higher, totally unashamed and oblivious to the
fact that we were not alone. I felt his smile against me as he ran one finger across the damp fabric
beneath my skirt. "You like that?" he whispered. I wanted more; the teasing was only ramping up
every nerve inside my body.
"Sir, we're here," the strange voice from mere feet away said, throwing icy water on my reckless
behavior. I quickly scooted away from Keaton, my cheeks on fire with embarrassment. He simply
laughed and handed the driver some money.
"Come on, let's eat. We can finish the rest later." My eyes flicked to the mirror and the smirking
face of the driver. He probably saw stuff like this all the time.
Keaton took my hand and helped me to my feet. "You look really sexy when your cheeks are that
pink."
"Stop. Take me inside," I said, shaking my head. Who was I? What was he doing to me? And why
didn't I seem to care that I would have been perfectly okay with having an orgasm in the back of a
cab?
"Quit thinking," he said softly, kissing my cheek and taking my hand.
The restaurant was fancy. Really fancy. The kind of fancy that made me afraid to touch the place
settings or use my forks out of order. I glanced around the opulent room and willed myself to sit up
straighter so that I might look like I belonged.
The waiter came to our table accompanied by another server who started filling glasses with
champagne. I glanced at Keaton who simply gave me a warm smile in return. Apparently there were
places where the bubbly flowed like tap water.
Keaton ordered a bottle of something and we were left alone with our menus. I was afraid to even
look. This place was giving me hives.
"You look lost," he smiled.
"I'm afraid I'm going to spill my champagne or break something," I admitted quietly. I was afraid
to raise my voice much above a whisper. He reached over and took my hand into his and I felt calmer
instantly.
"I could knock my glass over if it would make you feel better," he offered.
"That's so sweet," I laughed quietly.
"I know it's a little much, but I wanted to take you someplace nice," he admitted. I was touched. I
loved that he'd thought to do something nice. I liked that he wanted to impress me, even if it was
unnecessary.

"So what do I get here?" I asked glancing at the menu.

"I don't know. I've never been here," he admitted.
I glanced up in surprise. I had just assumed that this was a favorite place of his. He shrugged at my
questioning look, "It was listed as the best 5 star restaurant in the city. I wanted tonight to be special,"
he said.
I melted. Again. I watched as he lowered his head as if the admission almost made him shy. Just
one more thing about him that surprised me and made me like him more.
The waiter joined us at the table again to ask us about our order. I glanced from him to Keaton in a
panic, until Keaton asked him about the specials. He looked to me for confirmation and I nodded,
letting him choose. I didn't care what food came to the table. The company was worth it all.
If life were a romantic comedy this night would be a montage of perfectly placed sappy scenes set
to some upbeat, cheesy pop song. It would come complete with embraces on trolley cars, hand
holding in Golden Gate Park and sundae's at Ghirardelli Chocolate, where I got my ice cream sans
chocolate and didn't care one bit.
If we were stuck in that scene you'd probably see me gazing at a man who was stealing my heart
without me even knowing it. It would all be there, the sweet, flowery buildup that makes your heart
flutter. There would be the sweet comfort of perfection. You can hear the music, right?
The problem comes in knowing that the music will eventually stop. The scene will end. I've seen
enough of these modern fairytales to know what happens when the music stops.
But tonight none of that mattered. The ticking clock was silenced and all that mattered was this
moment, this night, this feeling that had me hearing the notes in a whole new way. I was okay with the
cheesy bubble; I was even okay knowing that eventually the whole thing would fade to black.
I went back to his room. I didn't question it. The entire night had carried an electricity with it that I
couldnt deny. Every touch, every kiss had pushed us closer to the brink. I wanted him. He knew it. We
were both on the same page. The part I feared were the emotions that I had started to attach to
everything. I felt it happening. I was falling for him in slow motionwith a whisper, on a ghost of a
touch, in a fragment of time. It was as if we existed only in that moment as the camera flashed. There
was a good chance that what felt right tonight would break me tomorrow. I knew it, but I moved
forward anyway.
He moved towards me with purpose. The entire night had led to the promise of this moment. My
body hummed with anticipation and nerves, the questions hovering just below the surface, my safety
net of logic warning me to be careful. But I didn't want to be careful. I didn't want to walk away from
this night and never know what it felt like to be with him.
When he stood in front of me I saw a lot of the same emotions reflected back at me. Only he was in
complete control of his. His hands moved slowly down my arms with the lightest of touches, bringing
a shiver to the surface. The contradiction of the quiver that moved through me and the heat that
seemed to warm the surface of my skin was a heady mix and as I breathed him in I felt myself losing
all of my reasoning. When he was close like this, I just wanted to abandon all of the logic.
A sigh fell from my lips as his hands moved up to my face and he ran his fingers across my
cheeks. I looked up into his eyes and the look that waited for me nearly made my knees buckle
beneath me. I'd grown to know that look, he was going to kiss me and I'd be under his spell in an
instant. The things he could do with a kiss and the promise of what else he could do to my body had
me feeling weak. It had me changing my mind about so many things. It had me forgetting my mind all
together. When I was with him like this I didn't think about anything. I only felt.
"Stay with me, Quinn. Stay with me tonight." His voice was rough as his lips grazed my jaw. When
his mouth found mine I sunk into him willingly. I loved the way he took control of the kiss, of me,
allowing me to simply become a part of the moment, a part of him. His tongue slipped past my lips

and began a seductive dance with my own. His hands fisted in my hair, pulling me to him, demanding
that I give him my full attention. He needn't have worried; I was already completely focused on him.
"I want you to stay. I want to be with you. I want you in my bed. I want to spend the rest of this night
attending to your every desire. Let me take care of you, Quinn. Stay."
I sighed, unable to find my voice, unable to find any words at all. So I simply kissed him again. I
wanted to stay. I had imagined it, craved it. I could tell myself that it wasn't a good idea, I could fight
it, but I didn't feel like fighting anymore.
"Quinn," he groaned, his mouth sliding down my throat.
"I, this isn't like me. My voice was a whisper of breath, an attempt at logical, even though Id
already made up my mind.
He grabbed my face, his eyes locked onto my own, Its not like me either. Not at all. Nothing
about this is like me. But I know I want you to stay. I know that whatever kind of borrowed time we
are living in this week I want to live in it with you, completely. This isnt about a one night stand,
Quinn. Its about . He seemed to search for the right words, but fumbled. My heart was pounding
against my chest. And somehow in this moment, while he stood before me talking about stolen
moments it felt so easy to trust him with something new. It felt so easy to fall into him and not
question it at all.
Okay, I said softly.
I watched as the sexy smile took his expression from earnest to deadly in a heartbeat. I swallowed
hard, knowing that Id just granted him permission to unleash his every weapon on me.
Okay? he asked.
Ill stay, I said. I hoped he couldnt hear the slight shake in my voice, part nerves, part needy
anticipation.
His hands, still on my face slid down so that they were at my neck, Youre going to stay, he said,
a slight smile on his lips. His voice was low as his eyes drifted over my face. The heat on my skin left
raised gooseflesh as electric currents hummed across my flesh, just from the intensity of his gaze. It
was as if he were going through a mental checklist of everything he had planned to do to me.
He looked at me for a long moment, and I was nearly ready to beg him to kiss me. Give me a
minute. I cant quite decide what to do with you first, he admitted quietly.
I whimpered. I'd never actually had that happen to me before, but it wasn't something I could
control. My body was surrendering to him. I reached for him, running my hands across his chest,
taking in the way his body flexed beneath my touch. I pulled at his shirt, releasing it from the slim
waist of his pants, then moving to the buttons. I could feel his heated gaze on my face as I took my
time unhooking each one from its hold. I felt the nervous anticipation coursing through my veins, but
I kept going. I pushed the fabric from his shoulders and then ran my hands beneath the t-shirt that
remained. His skin was hot, smooth and rigid. I met his eyes silently conceding any doubts that I had
about this moment, this night. I wanted him and I was giving myself permission to have him.
I watched as he pulled the shirt over his head, in that way that guys do in the movies, one sexy,
seamless pull and I was greeted with sculpted perfection. I'd seen him shirtless last night, but I'd been
clouded with alcohol. Now he was here, in vivid detail and I couldn't help but reach out to touch him.
A low growl escaped him as I pressed a kiss to his bare chest. I wanted him pressed against me. He
turned me then, so that my back was against him. He ran his hands down my bare arms, leaving raised
flesh in their wake. I felt his hot breath against my neck, at my ear. "I've wanted you since the moment
I saw you. But now, I want you more than anything ever before. I can't wait to be inside you. To feel
you wrapped around me," he breathed. His hand moved to my back, releasing the zipper of my dress
slowly, a torturous tease. My breathing came out staccato as all of the sensations hit me at once.
The dress pooled at my feet and I stepped out. Keaton turned me back to face him and his eyes

reflected back the same desire that was roaring though my blood, pounding in my ears, pooling in my
belly. I watched as he took inventory of my body, his gaze sliding along every inch of me. He took a
step forward, his hands resting at my neck as he began to glide them across my heated skin. His
fingers dipped below my bra strap as he slid it down my shoulder. I shivered as he kissed my now
bare skin. He repeated the process on the other side. Then his mouth moved to the swell of my breasts
and I nearly buckled at the sensation of his mouth against my flesh. His hand drifted to my back where
he quickly unhooked the bra. I was grateful as the strain against the fabric had been too much. Now
that my breasts were free he captured one nipple in his mouth, sliding his tongue across my hardened
peak. I gripped his shoulders to keep from falling, He moved with practiced precision, each flick of
his tongue, each nip of his teeth seemingly tied to my core. When he looked back to me I was certain
he could see that I was clearly and completely intoxicated by him. I saw the slight smile tug at the
corner of his lips as he gave me a little nod towards his room.
Just in case Miles decides to come home. I told him to be scarce, but Id hate to give him a show
or have to kill him later should he decide not to listen, he said gruffly. It was only then that I realized
I was standing nearly naked in the living area of his suite. I smiled up at him as he took my hand and
led me towards the other room.
Once the door was secure he stood in front of me again. Youre beautiful, Quinn Ryan, he said.
He took my hands and put them on the waistband of his pants, an invitation of sorts. I wasted no time
unwrapping my gift. I slid the buckle of his belt open, finishing my task from earlier. As I slid the
pants down his hips, dropping them to the floor, he caught my arms and hoisted me back and onto the
bed, his patience losing out. I fell back against the mattress, dipping lower as he covered me with his
body, kissing me with deep strokes of his tongue.
He took his time, kissing me like it was a lost art. And I was beginning to think that it was, because
no one had ever kissed me the way that he did, so completely, so thoroughly. He could speak a
thousand words inside of a single kiss. He could write each one across my heart and brand me as his
and he could do it effortlessly.
You taste like sugar, he said, his mouth trailing a sensual path down my body. My body arched
beneath him as his lips skimmed across the sensitive skin of my abdomen and again as his fingers
moved to the thin straps of my panties, the only clothing left on my body. I felt his hot breath as he
pulled them achingly slow down my hips, teasing me as he went.
I couldnt remember ever having been this worked up before. Never had anyone taken the time to
tease me with such simple, unhurried exploration. Keaton was certainly in no hurry. Now that he had
me in his bed, it was if he planned to take all night to explore his every whim, to learn every detail of
my body just as hed searched for every detail with his questions.
His mouth left soft kisses up the inside of my thigh as he moved back up my body and I squirmed
as he neared the part of me that was aching for him. I sighed, a soft plea falling from my lips. Look
at you, all laid out for me. Ive pictured you, just like this. Ive gotten myself off thinking of you like
this, imagining the taste of you on my tongue, the way you will shake as I make you come, the way
your voice will strain when you call out my name, he said. With each word, his breath teases, his
fingers drift over my sensitive skin. His thumb moves across my folds, gently over my clit, sending a
jolt through me. I cry out, strung so tight that I know it wont take much to snap the chord that tethers
me to earth.
What about you, Quinn? Have you thought about me? he asked voice raspy.
Yes, I managed, shifting beneath his touch, my body begging for more. I felt his palms move to
my thigh, pushing them wider and my teeth sunk into my lower lip as I gripped the sheets. His tongue
ran up my inner thigh, his teeth nipping at my skin. I felt the sting and before I could react his mouth
was on me, his tongue doing all of the wicked things that it promised it could do. I lost all thought. I

can no longer distinguish one moment from the next because each one is more sensation building
upon itself until Im sure my body will shatter into a million crystallized pieces. I realize that I am not
equipped to handle a man like this. I have clearly just jumped into the deep end without a life
preserver and I am going to drown. And its going to be the most glorious death imaginable.
I break apart. I gasp for breath. My world quakes beneath me. I am a clich.
Fuck, Quinn. I heard his voice from somewhere in the fog as I felt him move up my body. He
was no longer wearing the boxer briefs that hed had on earlier and even in my post orgasmic haze I
take in the glorious sight of him. The man is beautiful. I reach out to touch him, hard against my palm.
He groaned with a deep pleasure and I felt the shiver run through his body.
Youre the sexiest creature Ive ever seen. I had no idea what he was talking about, but now that I
was returning to earth and I could see him clearly, I smiled. He reached to the nightstand and grabbed
a condom. I followed his movements as he opened the packet and slid it on. I already felt the building
need low in my belly as I watched. He was beyond sexy and I wanted him in a way that was completely
new to me. It was all consuming. It overtook me.
Youre still sure about this? he asked as he positioned himself over me. I smile, because hes
asking, even now. There is fire in his eyes, and his forearms are shaking with restraint. I love seeing
him this way, his need to come undone.
I want you, I assured him. And its enough. He pushes into me and I pull against his shoulders as
he stretches me. And it feels so good. It feels like Ive lost my mind. He moves, with long slow
strokes, as if hes taking the time to feel every part of me. He covers me completely, his mouth near
my ear as he moves.
You feel like heaven. Fuck, Quinn, you feel like God damned heaven. I want to laugh at his choice
of words, but I cant because hes pushing me. Hes taking me places I didnt expect. He makes me feel
connected. I slide my nails against his skin, the feel of him so intense that my entire body is trembling
beneath him.
He kissed me hard and deep before quickening his pace. The headboard behind us began to knock
the wall with a punishing rhythm that matched our own. I felt the build, I felt it taking hold of me and I
knew in a moment I was going to break apart. I tried to steel myself for the wave, but I knew it would
take me under.
Keaton, oh God, Keaton. My voice came out strangled and my teeth sunk into his shoulder and I
came hard against him. I was pretty sure this man had just ruined me for all other experiences. I was
boneless. I felt the growl against my own chest as he jerked with his own release, the weight of his
body falling onto mine. There was something strangely satisfying about the heaviness of it, the way
his salty skin stuck to my own.
I tried to catch my breath. It was harder to do with him on top of me, but I didnt care. I could feel
his heart beating fast against his chest, my mind focused in on it, the steady thump, grounding me to
the moment. I wasnt used to casual sex, so I wasnt really sure how to proceed. The steady thump was
helping to keep me from freaking out.
Finally, he rolled off of me, taking my thump with him. I rolled to my side, watching him as he
removed the condom and disposed of it. Then he was back in bed and pulling me to him. You okay?
he asked.
I nodded. I was. I was more than okay. I just wasnt sure what I was supposed to do next. Did I get
up and go to my room or did I get to stay and cuddle for a little while first? I didnt know how this all
worked.
It felt so nice though, being curled up against him. The sound of his breathing as it steadied, the
way his fingers traced across my skin. I didnt want to move. Not at all.
Quinn, why are you being so quiet? Youre freaking me out? he said. I looked up, surprised to

see the shadow of doubt there across his features.

Im good, I assured him.
What are you thinking? he asked.
Honestly? I asked.
Of course. Now Im dying to know, he smiled, even though he looked a little nervous to hear my
answer.
I was thinking about how nice it feels to be laying here with you like this and trying to figure out
how long its acceptable to stay here before I overstay my welcome, I admitted.
Do you want to go? he asked. Because I dont want you to go.
You dont? I asked, feeling an immediate sense of relief flood me. Id been pretending that I was
okay with leaving to go back to my room, but now that he wanted me to stay I was relieved.
Shit, Quinn, did you think I was going to fuck you then kick you out? he asked, sitting up. He
scowled, but I saw the hurt flash across his face. Crap, that is what Id thought. Deep down, Id put
myself in a category with some random hook up even though hed told me over and over that we
were more than that.
I just. I didnt know what to say. The assumption made me feel horrible.
Was I the only one that felt something here, Quinn? I told you, this is different. Temporary or not,
its different. I meant that. It wasnt a line, he said.
I know. Im sorry. He let out a deep breath then pulled me into his lap, both of us still naked.
I want you to stay here with me. All night. I want to sleep beside you. I want to spend my morning
deep inside you and if I wake up dreaming about you, chances are Ill wake you up and make them
come true. Im not letting you out of my sight. I have two more days with you Quinn Ryan. You are
mine until Monday, so no more running away.



THE MORNING WAS drab, dreary and dark. I could hear the rain tapping against the windows.
Scowling, I hoped that it would clear out fast. I didn't want it ruining my plans for the day. I wanted to
take Quinn out on the water this morning before the signing. She'd mentioned that she'd never been
sailing or really ever been out on the water and I wanted to be the one to take her. I wanted to give her
experiences that she'd never had. I wanted to be tied to her memories so that whenever she thought
back to the first time she'd always remember me. My time with Quinn may be temporary, but I still
wanted to be there later. It was my way of leaving my mark, to make sure that she couldnt just let go
of our time together. I smiled at the thought and made my way into the living area.
I stopped when I saw her. She had pulled one of the chairs from the bar over to the balcony doors,
and she sat, knees pulled up against her chest watching the rain through the open doors. Surrounded in
shadows of gray she looked so elegant and peaceful. Her hair fell down her back and over her
shoulders and I couldn't help but stare, she was perfection. What was she thinking? What was she
feeling after last night? I felt a tightening in my chest, an ache that started deep inside and rattled me.
I slipped my phone from my pocket and slid the button on the side to silence it. Then, I opened the
camera app and snapped the moment. Never had I seen anything so beautiful or inspiring. Just the
sight of her sent words and melody through my soul. I couldnt help but wonder if this is what it felt
like to find your muse.
I moved towards her and noticed the goose bumps covering her flesh. She only wore one of my tshirts and the breeze coming from the open doors was chilly, but she didn't seem to mind.
"What are you doing?" I asked softly, I hated to break the moment she was in, but I couldn't help
but want to be a part of it; to be a part of all of her moments.
She glanced up and gave me a sweet smile. It pulled one of my own to the surface and I reached out
to smooth her hair just out of the need to touch her in some way. "Just watching," she replied holding
out her hand to me. I took it and laced my fingers through hers and then brought it to my lips.
"Mind if I sit with you?" I asked. She smiled wider, so I pulled her up and took her spot on the chair
before settling her on my lap and wrapping my arms around her. The room was quiet, just the sounds
of the rain and wind in perfect sync.
"You know, it rarely rains here this time of year. I hope it clears out soon," I said.
She shrugged, "I like the rain. There's something about it that soothes me," she said softly. There
was a far away look in her eyes and I wished I could reach in and grab her thoughts, know them, roll
them around and learn them.
"You don't find it dreary?" I asked curiously.
"Not at all. I love the way it smells, especially in the spring or coming off the ocean. It mixes with
everything, wakes it up, cleanses it, gives it a new beginning. It relaxes me," she said.
I stared at her; in awe of her and the way she made me see things differently. I was the one who was
supposed to see the beauty in ordinary things. But she did it so naturally, it was effortless.
"You love the rain," I smiled, filing it away as one of my new favorite things about her. I was pretty
sure from this point forward I would think of her with every storm and every shower. Just like she
said, it would mix with my memories of her and wake them up.

She smiled at me, and I froze the moment in my mind. It was reckless, feeling this way when we'd
agreed to temporary, but my heart didn't seem to care. For once it wanted nothing more than to be laid
out on the table, vulnerable and brave.
"I wanted to take you out on the water today, I don't know if we'll be able to make that happen," I
said, running my hands across her legs.
She shrugged, "That's okay. I'm kind of happy just sitting here with you," she said.
So that's what we did. We shut out the rest of the world, ordered room service, watched crazy
reality TV and spent the majority of our day naked and wrapped up in one another.
The feel of her, I could never describe it properly. She just fit, the way her body would tuck against
mine, the way she would move beneath me as I took her with long deep strokes; it wasn't something
I'd experienced before. I really couldn't get my fill of her. She made me insatiable.
If I thought I could get away with not attending the giant book fair or the farewell parties Id have
kept her locked away until our planes left. But real life is a bitch and Quinn wasnt about to let me get
away with letting anyone down by missing the signing. So amid my protests shed made sure Id spent
two hours this afternoon doing my job.
In all honesty though, it was all worth it when I saw the stack of books and the giant smile she had
when I found her afterwards. It was easy to get lost and be selfish with what time I had left with her,
but she was my book nerd, after all, and this was her playground. Id happily buy her every book in
the building to see her smile like that.
"I'd rather not go to this party," I grumbled later that evening once we were back up in my suite. I
watched as Quinn walked around the bedroom in just her bra and panties, getting ready and patted
myself on the back for suggesting she grab the stuff she needed for the party and bring it upstairs. I'd
watched her put on her make up, watched her curl her hair, and wanted nothing more than to take her
back to bed.
"It might be fun," she soothed me.
"Sure it will." I said, my sarcasm causing her to laugh.
"Besides, it will be good for us to get out of this room for a little while," she said.
"We already left the room, remember? I didnt like it. Being locked away in this room with you has
been a highlight of my week." I loved the way she blushed at my words. As tough as she could be she
was still a little shy and I loved knowing I could bring out the pale pink across her cheeks.
"I can't argue with that," she said, sliding her arms around my neck.
"So we can stay?" I asked hopefully.
"Not a chance. Get dressed. We're going downstairs."
"Bossy. I like it," I teased her. She shook her head as she moved away from me to get her dress.
Watching Quinn dress was nearly as nice as watching her undress. In fact, watching Quinn was
quickly becoming one of my favorite pastimes.
As much as I'd grumbled about going to the party, walking into the ball room with Quinn on my
arm made me puff out my chest like a caveman. I liked having her beside me. I liked the looks that we
got as we entered the room. I liked the seeing the gazes fall to our joined hands, and the way they
would watch as I guided her across the room with my hand on the small of her back. I liked the way it
felt to enter the room and know that everyone here knew she was mine. At least mine for right now.
She was leaving with me and as far as any of these strangers knew, she belonged to me. And
surprisingly, it felt really good.
In fact, it felt damn good.


WE ACTUALLY HAD two parties to attend tonight. The first required us dropping in to a wrap up
party where Keaton was getting some face time with readers. I let him do his thing, sipping wine with
Lily. I loved watching him with people. No matter his reputation you could tell that he cared about the
people he spoke to. Because when he was talking to them about books or listening to them talk about
how his work had meant something to them he listened genuinely. He heard them. He cared and it
showed. He wasn't just a show pony and if you took the time to really listen to him you could see that.
At least I could and I felt pretty certain that was the case for anyone.
Then again, I was lucky enough to know a whole other side of Keaton. One that he seemed to keep
under wraps. I had to admit, it made me feel special. Once we were done at the ballroom we headed
down the street with Miles and Lily to a party hosted by one of the attending publishing houses. It was
held in a trendy little restaurant just down from the hotel, on the 37th floor of a high rise. The outer
walls were glass and the lights inside were dim enough that you could look out and see the lights
from the Golden Gate Bridge in the distance.
This crowd landed closer to stuffy and arrogant and as I watched people move about and chat it felt
to me that everyone was on guard. "Who are all of these people?" I asked Keaton as we moved
towards the bar.
He shrugged, "A mix of people really. Don't worry, there are good people among the sharks," he
chuckled. I wasn't sure what to think about that statement, so I brushed it off and held onto his arm. I
smiled as he chatted with people and nodded as he introduced me. These people could probably be
valuable contacts to have, but I was too nervous to make much use of the situation. Besides, this night
was about Keaton and I wanted to enjoy our time together. Tomorrow would come soon enough and I
was trying really hard not to think about the goodbye that we would be faced with come morning.
"Do you want more champagne?" he asked, nodding to my empty glass. Maybe I was more
nervous than I thought.
"Oh, sure. Thanks," I smiled, suddenly feeling shy.
"I'll be right back, you'll be okay for a minute?" he asked. I nodded, smiling as he kissed my cheek
before moving towards the bar.
There were a lot of people milling about and it was fun to people watch. I thought of Keaton and
the way he was constantly creating stories about the people around him. I was so in my head trying to
create my own version of a couple who were dancing that I almost missed the woman who came to
stand beside me.
"So you're here with Keaton?" the woman asked.
I couldn't read her expression. She seemed friendly enough, but I got the distinct impression that
she was secretly laughing at me.
"I am," I said evenly. She gave me a quick nod and then leaned in conspiratorially.
"He's such an asshole when it comes to women, but it's almost worth it, ya know?"
I gaped at her and she tilted her head feigning apology, like she was about to deliver bad news.
"Oh, you don't know," she said, her hand flying to her chest in mock concern.
"I'm perfectly aware of the reputation that you are alluding to. I just dont understand why you feel
the need to bring it up to me," I said coolly. I don't know why her words were grating against my
nerves so badly, but the way she was talking about Keaton made me angry. Maybe he could be an
asshole and yes, he probably hadnt always been so nice to his many conquests, but I was pretty sure
he'd always been honest about who he was and what he was looking for.

I didn't like the way this woman was talking about him. It made my skin prickle and I was really
annoyed that my glass was empty, preventing me from tossing my drink across her pretty dress.
"I see," she smiled, sugar falling from her lips. "Well, you seem like a smart girl. I'm sure you
know better than to hand a man like that your heart. He's a great story to have, but he's not in it for
anything more than a good time," she said.
"You know, what I think? I think you are a sad woman who was obviously willing to jump into the
sack with him no questions asked. I think that says as much about you as it does about him. Im also
quite certain he didnt lead you on by painting you some fairytale ending, but maybe you did that all
on your own. Then, when it didnt work out you became this bitter version of yourself and the only
way to deal with the fact that you cant have the one thing you want, which lets face itis that fine
piece of ass, is to tear me down and make me feel just as miserable as you do. But you should
probably take your stones and go somewhere else. Because I actually know a little more about the
man you so shamelessly label an asshole and just because he may not have given you the time of day,
doesn't make him any less than extraordinary. He's a good man and I'm not going to stand here and let
you bash him under the guise of giving me some girl code warning. I don't need your warning. And I
don't need to hear you say another word about my date," I said. I felt the heat rushing to the surface of
my skin, my lips set in a firm line. I almost hoped she'd push me a little further, because it really felt
good to lay into her.
I should keep my cool. I didn't want to draw any attention to our encounter, but shit, shed pissed
me off. I wondered if Keaton had slept with her. Of course he had and that was why she was so bitter. I
could see where it would be hard to have him once and then never again. I knew my own hunger for
him and how it had only grown over the past week. But it pissed me off to see how she treated him
like a ride in an amusement park.
I watched her give me a once over and then walk away with a huff and I finally released the breath
I'd been holding.
"That was the sexiest thing I have ever witnessed." The warm silky voice tickled the back of my
neck and I felt the shiver flutter beneath my skin. I turned to see Keaton smiling a dazzling smile as he
returned with a new champagne flute.
"I don't like her. I hope that you didn't really sleep with her, but if you did, I hope you were having
an off night," I grumbled.
He laughed, deep and loud, throwing his head back. The sight melted the frost that she'd left behind
and I couldn't help but laugh with him.
"Oh my God, Quinn, you are something else," he smiled. He took my empty glass, trading it with
the new one, and set it on a nearby table. Then, he turned back to me, his eyes turning serious. He took
a step closer, removing all of the space between us. My breath caught as he dipped his head so that it
was inches from my own. "Thank you," he said so softly that I could feel his breath on my cheek.
"For what?" I asked quietly.
"For sticking up for me. It . . . meant something to me," he said.
I felt it then, that pull to touch him, that feeling of falling into something so deep that it threatens to
consume you.
"Sure," I managed, the word getting stuck in my throat from the instant intensity that had fallen
around us.
"I mean it, Quinn. That was sexy as shit, but it was more. I felt it here." He took my hand and
pressed it to his chest. I could feel his heart; it pounded against my palm in quick steady beats.
I swallowed hard; sure he could hear my own heart at this point as it thudded in my chest, trying to
match the beat of his. Thump thumpthump, Thump thumpthump.
"You're welcome," I finally managed, my voice only a whisper. His lips brushed softly against my

own, it wasn't a kiss, just a brush of soft skin that made me yearn for something more.
"Let's dance, beautiful," he said. I took a sip of my drink, put it on the table and let him lead me
onto the dance floor.
I barely even heard the music, just that it was slow. Keaton pulled me into him, one hand wrapped
around my own as he held it to his chest, his other pulling me in at my waist so that our bodies were
connected. I looked up to him, his eyes dancing as he looked down at me. I was lost in him. It should
have scared me, and if Id given myself permission to think about any of it even a moment it would
have. But I refused. I couldnt let logic in, not today. Not now. I was living in somebody else's shoes.
In a sense I was Cinderella at the ball and I would worry about the ticking clock later.

I COULDN'T HELP the sense of melancholy that seemed to descend as we made it back to the room.
Goodbye hung in the air all around us, waiting to be acknowledged. So far, we'd both refused. I didn't
want to ruin our last night together. I didn't want to end on a sad note. I didn't want him to think that I
was the girl who was going to try and cling to him when this was over. No matter that part of me
wanted to. Desperately.
I tried to push that part away. I worked to lock her away in a box where she belonged. This had
been my adventure, my chance to live outside of my comfort zone, to leave the safe side behind and
do what I wanted without fear of consequences. I had made the rules and I was ready to stick to them.
For one more night I would be the girl who lived for today. For one more night I would pretend there
was no tomorrow and believe that my heart wouldn't rebel on me as soon as the sun came up in the
morning.
I kicked off my shoes and placed them near Keaton's suitcase. I turned back to him and gave him a
small smile. His hands were shoved deep into the pockets of his slacks. He was staring at me with a
half smile, half frown. How does a person even pull that off? How did he do it and still look so sexy?
"Come over here," he said, his voice raspy and low. I moved towards him until I was close enough
to touch. He put his hands on my hips, his fingers digging into my flesh possessively.
"I'm glad you made me go tonight. It was nice, being dressed up with you, dancing with you,
showing you off," he said.
"I had fun," I smiled up at him. His eyes, focused on my own, pulling me in.
"It's our last night," he said quietly. I gulped, swallowing his words and trying not to choke on the
bitter taste they left in their wake. There was something so final about them and it sent my heart racing
and my stomach plummeting.
'Yeah," I squeaked.
"I'm not ready," he said. I sucked in a breath, not sure how to respond to his admission. So I didn't. I
stared down at his shoes.
I felt his warm fingers on my chin as he tilted my face up to meet his gaze.
"Tell me, how do I walk away from you tomorrow and pretend that none of this happened?" he
asked, pulling me close to him.
"Dont pretend. Dont forget. I want you to remember me. I dont think I could take it if you
pretended that it didnt happen," I admitted. That was so close to the truth that I feared he would see
right through me and call me out on all of the feelings I was desperately trying to hold back.
He ran his fingers across my cheek as his eyes swept across my face. It left a shiver just beneath
the surface of my skin. "Maybe I'm afraid that if I don't forget I'll never let you walk away," he

admitted. The huskiness in his voice made my stomach flip. I felt the same way, but I couldnt say it.
Walking away from this feeling may be the logical thing to do, but it was still going to be harder than
I'd imagined.
I gave him my best smile, the one meant to convince him that I was carefree and still totally on
board with this whole charade. "This way it stays perfect. We don't have any of the bad parts to tarnish
it. It gets to stay untouched and perfect."
"Except for the goodbye part. The part where I watch you walk away, that still sucks."
"Then we won't say goodbye. Well just drift or something, I shrugged.
"How romantic," he scoffed.
"Just remember me, okay?" I said softly. If I could only ask for one thing that would be it. I didn't
want to be the only one walking away from this with memories.
He smiled, but his eyes held a seriousness that had me holding my breath. I wont forget you. I
promise.
I smiled up at him, feeling relieved as he leaned in kissing my nose. Knowing that we would both
take this experience away with us with positive feelings made it worth it to me.
We still have tonight. If I have to give you up tomorrow, I plan on making every moment that I
have left count, he warned.
I was hoping youd say that, I smiled. I pushed back the lump that had settled in my throat.
Lets start by taking off that dress.



I TOOK A deep breath, pulling the door closed with a distinct click; the sound cutting into my heart,
essentially locking me out of my beautiful, temporary, make-believe life once and for all. I did it
quickly, before I could change my mind.
I didn't want to think about him on the other side or what he would think when he came out of the
bathroom and realized that I had left without saying goodbye. When he realized that I was a coward.
It was better this way.
Laying with him this morning, limbs tangled with his and feeling his fingers twisting lazily
through my hair I had known there was no other choice. I had known Id never make it through this
morning without tears. I had panicked. I didn't want him to see me cry when I walked away. Ours
wasn't the kind of love affair that came with tears. I wouldn't leave him with that image. Not after Id
promised him easy and casual. I didn't want his memories of me ruined by letting him see that I'd
fallen for him without permission.
I had been right; I wasn't cut out for this kind of casual relationship. I fell too easily and if I stayed
for the obligatory goodbye he would have seen straight through me. He would have seen the truth and
he would have pitied me. It would have ruined this whole week.
This was Keaton Harris. He didn't fall in love. He didn't ask for tomorrows and he didn't latch on
after a few silly days with a stranger. This was the smart choice. Honestly, he'd probably appreciate it.
No awkward hug, no empty promises. It would just be easier this way.
Id had every intention for this to last one week and be done. Id had every intention to soak up the
experience and then file it away as an amazing memory. And I'd done my best to convince both of us
that I meant it, but these past couple of days had changed everything. Hed changed everything.
I opened the door to my room and jumped when I saw Lily and Miles in an awkward embrace on
the couch. Well, awkward for me. They seemed to be getting along just fine.
'Oh, sorry, Quinn. I didn't think you'd be back so soon." Lily was out of breath and I felt bad for
having interrupted them.
"I needed to finish packing a few things, and we should think about getting to the airport," I
shrugged. I avoided looking their way as I moved past the couch where they were still sitting tangled
together.
I walked through the room making sure I had everything I needed. I threw my suitcase on the bed;
unzipping it and throwing in the few things that I still had lying around.
"Where's Keaton?" Lily asked untangling herself from Miles and coming over to me.
"He was taking a shower. We've said our goodbyes," I said. She caught my gaze and I knew that she
saw it then, the way I was holding it all together and trying not to break. I couldn't. Not here and
definitely not with Miles in the room.
"Okay. Well, it is getting late. We're going to have to scramble if were going to make our flight,"
she said matter-of-factly. I smiled, grateful. Our flight was still hours away, but she knew me well
enough to know that I needed to get out of here.
Lily turned to Miles and spoke quietly. I moved to the bathroom to give it the once over and to give
them some privacy. I hated to cut their time short, but I was still a little afraid that Keaton would come

find me when he found my note. Maybe I hoped he would. But that kind of hope was dangerous.
When I came back out, Miles was stacking Lily's bags by the door. "You're already packed?" I
asked surprised.
"Yep. I didn't sleep much last night. Miles helped," she shrugged.
"Helped you pack? I teased.
"That too," she smiled. She reached out and gave my hand a knowing squeeze. "You ready?"
I zipped my suitcase and nodded.
Miles walked us down to the lobby. He seemed like such a nice guy. I wondered if Lily would keep
in touch with him.
"You have your tickets?" he asked her as she searched her purse. She gave him a big smile as she
found them. The cab pulled up and the driver jumped out to put our suitcases in the trunk. I gave Miles
a hug before I climbed inside and let Lily have a private moment. She kissed him softly and then
nodded when he said he'd call her. I hoped he did.
A mix of relief and dread settled over me when she climbed in beside me and then slammed the
door shut. As the cab pulled away from the curb I let go of the breath that I'd been holding onto.
"You didn't say goodbye did you?" she asked softly.
I shook my head and felt the tears prick my eyes. "I couldn't. I didn't want him to see," I started.
"See what?" she asked softly. I shook my head, closing my eyes against the wave of emotions that
were burning in my chest. I didnt even want to admit it to her, how Id let myself become attached.
How Id broken my own rules.
"It's nothing. I just didn't want to go through an awkward goodbye. It is what it is, we knew the deal.
We didn't need some big dramatic exit," I said.
Lily sighed beside me, but she didn't push me anymore. She took my hand in hers and gave it a
squeeze and didn't say a word when the tear slid down my cheek as I turned and stared out the window.

I LET THE hot water run over me, releasing the tightness in my muscles. Muscles that I had been
working in the best way possible. Just the memories of Quinn and our time together had my body
feeling hot and Id only left her in my bed fifteen minutes ago.
I hated today. I hated it. I hated that I hated it. I hated that I was even giving it a second thought. I'd
let myself get wrapped up in this girl. I'd only known her for a week and here I was dreading the fact
that she was leaving.
The idea of walking away from her felt wrong, but the idea of asking her to stay in my life made
no sense at all. It left me feeling chaotic. She was a stranger. The truth of the whole thing was that I
had known her for a week. So why did it feel like I really knew her? Why did it feel like she really
saw me? It was all very new to me. I hadnt been in this position in a long time. Maybe ever. I didnt
even know what to call it.
I just knew I didn't want to walk away from this and not see her again. I didn't exactly know what I
did want, but pretending like this week hadn't happened or trying to fit it into some convenient,
temporary box didn't appeal to me at all. If I was being honest, it was hard to believe that Quinn did.
And there was my roadblock, the thing that had me stumbling. What if she really did want to leave
it all behind? What if I really was just her walk on the wild side? What if she had no interest in
exploring anything else and I went in all guns blazing and making a fool out of myself? I didn't want
that. I'm not a fool.

I had no idea how to approach it. She was dead set on convincing me that she was one hundred
percent on board with this one week plan. She wasnt going to give in easily. I just needed to get a
read on her. If I could get her to talk to me at breakfast then maybe I could tell what was really going
on in her head. If she seemed up for it then I could suggest we keep in touch. There was nothing
wrong with that. Its not like I was asking for a commitment. I just wanted to keep talking to her.
If she didn't seem into it then I'd stay quiet and forget about her.
Right?
It sounded like a good plan. I felt good about it.
I turned the water off and grabbed the large fluffy towel from the door. I ran it across my skin,
soaking up droplets of water, all the while playing out potential conversations in my head. Lucky for
me each one ended just as I wanted. I took the towel and wiped the fog from the glass. The guy staring
back at me was new. There were questions in his eyes. It wasn't something I was used to
I hated today.
The nerves were new too. Quinn had made me nervous from day one. I liked it. I liked her. A lot.
The silent admission made me smile.
Wrapping the towel around me I headed out of the bathroom. "You should have joined me," I
called out towards the living room when I realized she wasn't still in bed. I took in the rumpled sheets
and felt a stir of desire as I remembered the previous evening. I loved the way she felt beneath me, the
way her fingers would dig into my flesh as I sunk into her. I wasn't sure I'd ever get my fill of her. In
fact, I was starting to think breakfast would have to wait. I wanted to find her and drag her back into
the bedroom.
"Quinn?" I called, shuffling out of my room and into the main suite. It was empty. I glanced over to
the balcony to see if she was taking in the view. I frowned when she wasn't there either. I turned in a
full circle, as if she might be hiding somewhere in a corner. Nothing. I walked over to the room Miles
had been using, then the main bathroom. She wasn't here. I felt a sinking feeling, an uncomfortable
realization starting to unfold.
No, maybe she had just run to her room for a second. I pushed aside the chick thoughts, chastising
myself. I moved to the tiny kitchenette, intent on grabbing a water before getting dressed. As I crossed
the room I noticed a single piece of paper on the counter. I slowed my step as I neared it. The sinking
feeling returned. I didn't have to read it. I already knew what it would say. She was gone.
I picked up the piece of paper, my jaw set as my teeth ground together. The anger that started to
take hold as I looked down at her delicate writing surprised me.

KeatonI hate goodbyes. I hope you understand.
Thank you for this week. It was unexpected.
And it was amazingly beautiful.
I will remember you always.
Love,
Quinn

I crumpled the letter into my fist. She hated goodbyes? Seriously? This was a joke. Why the fuck
did I even care? The door to the suite opened and my head jerked up, half expecting to see Quinn,
hoping that she'd changed her mind and come back. But it was only Miles.
"Hey," he greeted me casually.
I didn't return the greeting; I was still clutching the paper in a death grip.
"Dude, are you okay?" he asked shutting the door behind him. I'm sure I looked like a crazy

person, standing there in my towel with an angry scowl on my face.

"Quinn left," I said.
Miles' brows furrowed. "I know. I just saw them."
That sparked my interest. "When?" I asked.
"I just left them downstairs. They were on their way to the airport. What's wrong?" he asked.
"Why didn't you call me? Or try and stop her until I could get down there?" I yelled, happy to have
somewhere to direct my frustration.
"What are you talking about? Quinn said that you two had already said your goodbyes," he said.
"She left a note. I guess that counts," I muttered.
"Oh," Miles said.
"Whatever," I grumbled stalking back into my bedroom and slamming the door. Fuck. My body
pulsed with anger and frustration and it was only amplified by the fact that I had no idea where it was
coming from. Sure, she'd left a note instead of hanging around for an awkward goodbye. I got it.
Hell, how many times had I pulled that kind of escape? But this hadn't been some one night stand.
I thought about the conversation that I had planned to have. The way I'd imagined the whole thing
going. I guess she'd saved me that embarrassment. What did it even matter? It's not like I was looking
for a relationship or anything. I'd just wanted--something. I sighed and kicked at the suitcase that sat
next to the wall. I threw the crumpled paper on the floor and then grabbed some clothes from the
wardrobe, hangers flying to the floor. It was time to leave this city and head home. There was nothing
left here to worry about. If she could leave, then so could I. No strings. No tomorrows. No worries.
I pulled my jeans on, sliding my belt through the loops. Then I grabbed a thermal and pulled it
over my head, muttering under my breath the entire time. I grabbed up the suitcase and tossed it onto
the bed. Might as well pack it up. I began tossing in my belongings haphazardly.
I ignored the knock on the door, knowing it was just Miles trying to butt into my business. "You
okay, man?" he asked coming in uninvited.
I ignored his question and asked instead, "What time does our flight leave?"
"Not until tonight," he said carefully.
I grunted, annoyed. I didn't want to be in this room anymore, where we'd spent the last few nights,
where I'd woken up beside her this morning.
"I'm gonna pack up now. Then I think I'll head downstairs and write a little," I said flatly.
"Okay," Miles said. He knew me well enough to know that I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to
be left alone. Writing helped me process the garbage in my head and right now I had a shit ton of
garbage. "I'll just get packed up too. You let me know if you need anything," he offered. I gave him a
quick nod of acknowledgment before he left me alone.
When I was done packing the suitcase I reached out to find my messenger bag. I was anxious to get
out of here for a bit, find a place I could process all the unfamiliar feelings that were weighing me
down. The note was still crumbled on the floor. I stared at it for a long moment before finally picking
it up and smoothing it out as best as I could. I folded it up and slid it into my bag before walking out.

THE FLIGHT BACK to New York was quiet. I was still brooding, so I was glad when Miles put on his
headphones and fell asleep in the seat beside me. I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to think about this
week, or about Quinn or any of it, but that was hard to block out. The more it invaded my thoughts the
more irritated I became. She should have said goodbye. I deserved more than a note. My brain ran

over the events of the week. A week. I'd known the girl for a week and yet here I was lost in the whole
thing like some needy asshole. If I was being honest, the whole thing pissed me off.
If she wanted to play it this way, that was cool. I was a pro at playing it this way. Who needed the
stress of attachment? I grunted to myself as I shifted in my seat. I just wanted to be home and done
with the whole thing. When I got home I would put it all away; pull out the pieces later when I needed
inspiration. That's how it usually worked. The only thing different this time around was that I'd held
on a little too long. I'd let her get into my head,
Fact is shed probably done me a favor by walking out. Out of sight, out of mind. Purge and move
on. For Gods sake, it was just a week and she was just a girl.



I WAS TURNING into a stalker. I think my low point came when I set the Google alert. What was
wrong with me? So much for letting it all go and moving on after California. Nope, I had gone and
become an obsessed, crazy person. I wondered if all of Keaton's flings had turned out like this. Maybe
there was a support group somewhere.
I reread all of his books, trying to find pieces of the man that I'd gotten to know, the one behind the
curtain. Even after spending a week with him I still felt like he was a mystery to me. Especially now
that he had become a part of my past. Its funny, now that I was back home, and obviously falling
down the rabbit hole of social media stalking Id started to lose my grip on the memories. My Keaton
and the Keaton plastered on these pages were not the same and it left me feeling hollow. All I saw was
the guy with the too big smile, the sexy swagger and playboy reputation. Chances were hed gone
straight back to that lifestyle the moment hed stepped off of the plane back in New York. But I
couldnt help it; I had a hard time stuffing that romantic girl back in the closet. She was still holding
on to kisses on noses, long talks and a hundred questions.
This was why it was so hard to watch him from the sidelines. I was a voyeur. I only had the public
version of him now. But it was never his public persona that had left me intrigued. It was the man. The
man Id spent hours talking to about every random detail, who had shown me what it was like to feel
something in its purest form, without question or explanation, the man that was still showing up
nightly in my dreams. The stalking was just an outlet to try and feel closer to him now that our time
was done.
Still, I knew I needed to stop. The more I stalked the more jaded my memory became. I'd gone
from remembering sweet moments to rationalizing them all away as make believe. I was sitting at the
kitchen counter staring at my laptop, the screen pulled up to his profile page when I got caught.
"I'm about to do an intervention," Lily said as she came breezing through the room. I quickly shut
the lid of the computer, pretending not to know what she was talking about. She raised an eyebrow at
me and smirked.
"You've been moping around and stalking the guy since we got back. Why don't you just call him?"
she asked.
I shook my head, "No way. I'm not calling him. And I'm not stalking him. I'm just keeping up to
date on his -- career," I shrugged.
She laughed, "Right. Come on, Quinn, just admit it. You like him. It's okay to like him," she said.
"It was a fling," I pointed out.
"You like him." Lily's satisfied smile was enough to annoy me.
"So what? I like him. Don't make a big deal about it," I warned. I didn't need Lily sticking her nose
in it, even if she meant well. I knew what I was doing.
"So, if you like him then why aren't you talking to him? I don't get it," she said.
"It's not about whether I like him or not. We had a great time together, but it was a vacation fling. It
wasn't real life," I said.
"Not real life?"
"No. It was a fantasy. It's better to leave it there. It never would have survived in the real world. We

just thought it was best if we left it, before we could spoil it," I said confidently.
"You both decided?" Lily asked, her eyebrow doing that annoying questioning lift.
"Yes, we both decided."
"Does Keaton know that?" Lily asked casually.
I wanted to ask her what she meant by that, but I didn't have the guts. I knew she still talked to Miles
and there was a chance she knew things I'd be interested in. But I refused to ask her. I didn't need to be
tempted into doubting my decision.
She waited for me to say something. I knew she wanted me to ask and she knew I really wanted to.
"We agreed," I said finally.
"That's stupid," she huffed out in frustration.
"It's smart," I countered.
"Quinny, sometimes you have to take a step away from the logical or you will miss out on life. I
love you to death, but you gotta just dive in sometimes. Trust me."
I'd thought about it. I'd thought about it a lot. But honestly, I didn't want to ruin it. The memories
were all so nice. I didn't want to add any bad ones.
"Not with this," I said quietly.
Lily sighed, resigned to my decision.
"Fine. I still wish you would reconsider. I saw how happy you were. I liked seeing it," she admitted.
I couldn't help but smile.
"Yeah," I agreed, letting my mind drift to the week we'd spent together.
"Tell me about it," Lily probed. I'd already told her about it. She knew, but because she was my best
friend and saw the dreamy look that crossed my face, she was giving me permission to talk about it
again.
"I was different with him. I was more alive. It was almost like I had the freedom to be somebody
else and it was easy because we both knew that it wasn't going anywhere. It took the pressure off," I
said.
"Do you think that's the only reason you let go with him? Because it had an expiration date?" she
asked seriously.
I shrugged. I didn't really know the answer to that question. "I thought it was," I admitted.
"And now?"
"I don't know. The whole thing seems so far away. It was one week. You don't fall for someone
after only knowing them for a week," I said.
"Who says?" she challenged. Of course Lily would see nothing wrong with that scenario. She
jumped freely and didn't care about the consequences.
"Did you fall for Miles?" I asked curiously. She didn't bring him up much, even though when she
did she would smile.
"We aren't talking about Miles," she said sweetly.
"But if we were?" I probed.
"If we were I would tell you that I had a wonderful time with him while we were in San Francisco
and that I'm open to anything that might happen should our paths cross again."
"You are so cryptic," I laughed.
"Here's the thing," she said taking a seat at the breakfast bar. "You can spend your whole life
playing it safe and waiting for things to make sense on paper, or you can just go for it and see what
happens. The way I see it sometimes that's the part where you have the most fun. Do I think you can
fall for someone in a week? Of course I do. Do I think you can admit that you have? Probably not. It's
just who you are. You are careful and cautious. You think things out. I love that about you. You've
probably saved my butt a few times by doing just that. But sometimes you have to take a chance or

you'll miss out on some really great things. You took a chance and look how great that week was. So
great that you didn't leave it behind like you planned to. Maybe that means you shouldn't just write it
off, ya know?" she said.
I wanted to buy into her words. Part of me wanted to go back and not run out on him that last
morning. But it was no use now. What's done was done and I couldn't take any of it back.
And what's more, in my heart, I still believed it had been the right call. I wasnt cut out to be that
girl long-term. Some of us just didnt have the wings to fly among the clouds. I knew that, and I think
Keaton had too.

QUINN WALKING OUT had been for the best. She had saved me from a mess of complications that I
didnt need, nor did I have time for. Not with my schedule. I knew that. It was the logical choice. It had
been the smart choice. Besides, what did I know about relationships? Aside from the fact that I wasn't
cut out for them. I didn't need them.
I had a great life. Why would I want to change it? I was surrounded by beautiful women willing
and begging to live out some kinky scenario they read about somewhere. I had it made. I did not need,
nor did I want, to give that up for the drama and suffocation of monogamy.
So why couldn't I get her out of my head?
Yesterday I bought a bottle of her perfume. I told the sales girl it was a birthday gift for my sister.
Really, I just wanted to be able to smell her again. It had been haunting me. It wasn't quite the same
straight from the bottle, it lacked her sweetness. There was something about the way it clung to her
skin. It wasn't something I could replicate. It was a shame, I missed the smell of her. I missed the taste
of her.
It was crazy the way she occupied my brain. She had wrapped herself around my every thought. It
was uncomfortable. I needed to shake it off. I needed to, but I didn't really want to. And that was the
part that was a complete mind fuck.
I'd been with my share of girls. I'd even had a handful of casual relationships, but nothing had left
me feeling this unsteady, this distracted. I wondered if it was just the fact that she'd made the decision.
She'd been the one to say that it would only last the week. She'd been the one to sneak out while I was
in the shower. She was holding all of the cards. That wasn't something I was used to.
She'd made the call and I'd agreed to it. It had been the perfect set up, one week with an awesome
girl, and then everyone goes on with their lives. It should have been a done deal. So why was I still
spending quiet moments imagining her legs wrapped around me, or remembering her soft breath on
my bare chest as she slept tucked in beside me? Why was I still thinking of questions that I should
have asked when Id had the chance?
I needed to go out. I needed to grab Miles and just hit up a club or something. Get her out of my
head and let it all go. I was making the whole thing out to be something it wasn't. Something it never
could have been. Something I didn't even want.
Time to stop dicking around and get out of this apartment. On second thought, maybe dicking
around was exactly what I should be doing. Get my mojo back. Find my game face and get back to
what I was good at.
I picked up my phone and called my brother.
"What's up?" he answered.
"You got plans tonight? I want to go out. I need to clear my head and blow off some steam. You

in?" I asked. I was restless, pacing back and forth through the living room.
"Sure, I don't have anything going on. Where do you want to go?"
"Let's go to Crave," I said.
"I'll meet you there, what time?"
I glanced at the clock, it was almost ten. "I'll see you in an hour." I hung up and headed to the
bedroom to change. This is exactly what I needed. I was feeling better already.
The cab dropped me off and I found Miles leaned up against the wall outside the club. He gave me
a nod and followed me to the door. After paying the cover we moved through the masses towards the
bar. The music was loud and throbbing and the lights danced, turning everyone into a kaleidoscope of
color.
I came here a lot. The bartenders knew me and the hostess always found us a little spot tucked away
where we could scope out the crowds. This is what Id needed, the familiar.
"So, are you on the hunt this evening?" Miles asked as we slid into the over-sized curved booth.
The waitress gave me a smile as she leaned in, flashing her tits.
"The usual?" she purred. It was amazing how she could pull off a sultry whisper and still be heard
over the thumping bass. I gave her a slight nod and answered my brother instead.
"We just haven't been out in awhile," I said.
"Not since San Francisco," he said staring out into the crowds gyrating on the dance floor. I
growled under my breath, but otherwise ignored his pointed remark. I didn't need his opinions on
Quinn. I didn't want to talk about her. I was here to forget.
I leaned back scoping the crowd, looking for a distraction. Judging from the amount of skin I was
guessing there was a lot to choose from. The waitress brought us our drinks and I sipped on my
whiskey. Miles was on his phone, texting. He made a great wingman. I rolled my eyes and focused in
on the hot bodies dancing in front of us. They moved together, sweat soaking their skin as they
seemed to vibrate to the beat of the bass.
I zeroed in on one girl in particular, watching as she swayed her hips. She had dark hair and it
hung low to her waist in dark waves. Her skin was tanned and on perfect display with her top falling
just short of her belly button and her skirt riding low on her hips. She wanted to be noticed and I was
noticing. I downed the rest of my drink and got up from the booth. Miles looked up to see where I was
going; he'd been so preoccupied with his phone that he had barely noticed anything going on around
him.
"I'm going to go dance," I said simply. He knew the drill. He'd wait until I was tangled up with her
and then he'd either find his own distraction or he'd head home. We'd played this game many times.
Typically he'd be a little more present, but honestly, I didnt care. I wasn't up for games. I wanted easy.
I wanted someone who didn't want my number, wouldn't remember my name and wouldn't be
offended when I didn't remember hers. I wanted fast. Meaningless. A release and a purge of all the
things clouding my brain.
I sauntered over to the dance floor, weaving my way through the throngs until I reached her. Her
eyes locked on to mine and her tongue ran across her swollen lips. I let the music move me and
smiled as she closed the space between us. She was beautiful. I didn't even care that she knew it. Like I
said, I wanted easy.
"Hi," she mouthed as she ran her hand up my chest. I grabbed her hand and led her deeper onto the
dance floor. She was more than willing to go with me. I needed the crowd around me and the all
encompassing music to take me under. I didnt want to think.
She slid her hands across my chest and up around my neck, her fingers finding my hair. She gave
me a sultry smile as she swayed her narrow hips, brushing against my cock. I moved with her, falling
into habit. She was beautiful, and with the way she moved her body I could only imagine what she

could do in the bedroom. I just needed a release. I needed to feel someone around me.
It didn't take long before she was wrapped around me, her body pressed against mine with every
movement. I didn't object when her mouth moved across my neck, her tongue darting out to lick the
saltiness from my skin. Her mouth felt warm and nice and I closed my eyes to take it in. I wanted to
get lost in this stranger, get lost and forget the memories that were plaguing me.
I let her move her body against mine. I let my hands drift over her body and rest on her hips. I let
my eyes cling to her cleavage, slick with sweat. I let myself take it further. I was pretty sure she would
go home with me if I asked. I was going to ask. I'd take her home and I'd lose myself in the anonymity
of a stranger. I'd get my swagger back.
"You want to get out of here?" I asked, my mouth pressed against her ear. She nodded, throwing
her practiced sultry gaze up at me. I grabbed her hand and pulled her through the crowd behind me.
We stood on the busy street, her hand wrapped around my arm as we waited for a cab. I pushed at
the uneasiness in my chest as she continued to drop kisses along my jaw.
"Are we going to your place?" she asked. Her voice was high, chirpy almost, and it sounded like
nails across a chalkboard. I cringed. "I'd like to go to your place," she clarified, batting her lashes at
me.
"Yeah, we'll go to my place," I said. I raised my hand again for a passing cab, but it was late and no
one was stopping.
"What's your name anyway?" she asked curiously.
"Keaton," I offered.
"I'm Gwen," she smiled as if it were perfectly natural to be handing out names after we'd agreed to
sleep together. My eyes snapped to hers as they looked up at me in that half dreamy, half drunk way
that so many girls had this time of night.
I shook my head, because all I had heard was Quinn. Too close. "What's your middle name?" I
asked.
"Margaret," she laughed.
"Can I call you Maggie?"
"Baby, if you take me home with you, you can call me anything you want," she cooed. I forced a
smile as I looked down at her.
Where was the cab? This was turning out to be more trouble than I was interested in. Gwen Maggie
was clinging to me and it wasnt doing much in the way of getting me geared up. Finally, a car pulled
to a stop at the curb. I opened the door for Maggie and slid in behind her. I'd barely given the cab
driver my address before she was on me. Her mouth crashed against mine and she damn near had me
pushed onto my back. I couldn't even come up for air. She clawed at my shirt and nipped me with her
teeth. It should be hot. I should be itching to get her upstairs where we could use each other to chase
away ghosts or hunt down a pent up release that had been holding us prisoner. That's how this was
supposed to go. Free. Easy. No strings. But as I tried to lose myself in her, in this moment, all I saw
were hazel eyes and creamy skin. All I saw was Quinn.
Fuck.
I pulled away from her, blood roaring in my ears as opposed to where it should be. "What's
wrong, baby?" she asked. The endearment made my skin prick with unease. I pushed her away, to the
safety of her side of the backseat.
"I've changed my mind. I can't do this," I said.
Her sultry demeanor shifted instantly and she glared at me. "What do you mean you can't do this?
Can't you get it up, pretty boy?"
I laughed. I couldn't help it. She crossed her arms across her chest and waited for a response. I
caught the smirk on the cab driver's face. "No, that's not the problem. I just, I thought I wanted easy." I

said.
"I am not easy, asshole," she growled. I didn't point out that she'd agreed to go home with me
before she'd even known my name. It wouldn't help the situation.
The cab pulled up to the curb outside my apartment building. I pulled out my wallet and gave the
cab driver the fare, plus enough to take Maggie wherever she needed to go.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to imply. What I meant was, I'm already -- involved with someone else.
Rather, I've met someone that I want to be involved with. So, yeah. Sorry. It was nice to meet you.
Have a good night." I opened the door of the car and shut it, Maggie's mouth still hanging open.
What was wrong with me? I'd turned into some sappy asshole pining away for a girl who had
snuck out of my room while I was in the shower. I was pathetic.
I made it upstairs, threw my keys on the side table and then plopped down on the couch. I pulled out
my phone, opening up the photos. I scrolled through the few pictures I had of Quinn. She was perfect.
I missed her. Like it or not, she'd gotten to me. So much so that I'd turned down an easy orgasm. An
orgasm that I so desperately needed.
I pulled up the photo Id taken of her that morning as she watched the rain and I stared at it for five
minutes. Five. I barely recognized myself. I should go to bed. Instead, I pulled up the message screen,
her number at the top. My fingers hovered over the keys trying to figure out the best thing to say. The
thing that would make her respond, or call me. I would kill to hear her voice right now, that soft
sultry tone she got when I was devouring her. Shit, the taste of her skin. I shifted uncomfortably as my
dick remembered too. Misery loves company and all that shit.
My fingers hit the keys as I typed quickly. I hit send before I could rethink it and then blew out a
breath as it sat staring back at me on the screen.

I wish you were here. I miss you.

I probably shouldn't have sent it. I should have held onto my resolve. But I missed her. I wanted her
to call me. She may be across the country, but right now I was pretty sure the sound of her voice and
my hand on my cock would get the job done. Just thinking about it had me straining against my jeans.
I waited, anxious for her response. I waited a long time. But there was nothing. Just my poor little
pathetic message sitting there all alone talking nonsense. Quinn was a smart woman. A two am text
was nothing but a drunken plea. I was an idiot. Now we both knew it.
I let my head fall back onto the couch and groaned into the quiet of my apartment. At least I was
still tipsy enough that my foolishness was easier to handle. I had a feeling this would hurt more in the
light of day. I wasn't looking forward to that hard dose of reality.
I wish I could say that I was sorry I'd sent the text. The wounded ego part of me was. But the bigger
part was relieved. I'd been dying to send that text for weeks. Dying to tell her I was thinking about her.
It went against her rules, but I was over her rules.
The fact was, we'd had a good time together. There was no reason we couldn't continue to have a
good time together without it getting weird. I'd gone along with it for awhile because it had seemed
like the best idea. Now, sitting here in the dark with a hard on I couldn't tame and the need to taste her
on my tongue had me reconsidering.
Maybe she wasn't a one night stand kind of girl. That was okay, I didn't want her around for just
one night. I wasn't sure, but it felt like she would take a long time to get out of my system. I liked the
idea of figuring out just how long it might take.
Now I just had to get her to answer the damn text.
I laughed at myself. Here I was making new rules, deciding for us when she'd been the one to walk
away from me. She'd been the one to put the rules in place and to slam on the brakes there at the end to

make sure that we followed them. Who was I kidding? She was the one in control of this whole thing
and she was on radio silence.
I cursed again, feeling restless and antsy. I needed to figure out a way to get to her. I was creative, I
just had to think. Be clever. Be charming. Be something that would make her change her mind.
Sleep must have taken me in the middle of my silent brainstorm because I woke up with a kink in
my neck and a monster headache from sleeping with my head at an awkward angle. I moved slowly
trying to stretch out my cranky muscles.
I picked up my phone that had fallen onto the floor at some point during the night. I turned it over
in my hand, hoping that I might see the name I wanted on the screen. It wasn't there. I hadn't really
expected it to be. I stood and stretched and shuffled into the kitchen to make some coffee. My late
night plans were still in play in my head, working out the details of how best to catch her attention.
I flipped on the laptop as the Keurig brewed a cup of strong concentration. Rubbing my hands
across my scalp I waited for it to wake up. As the screen came to life I noticed that I still had my work
in progress open. It wasn't the one I was supposed to be writing. It was the one I'd started in San
Francisco, my self indulgent whim of words that I wrote when I was blocked on my real project. They
were all about Quinn. It was a hodge podge of memories of our time together, something that kept me
sane when I couldnt get her off my mind.
I read over the last few paragraphs as an idea began to form.
What was the point of social media if I couldn't use it to showcase my work? A smile tugged at my
lips. People loved teasers. Why couldn't I put a snippet or two out there for her to stumble across?
Something that she would recognize as us. Something to show her she was still on my mind. It had to
work. I began to smile as I scrolled through the paragraphs looking for the perfect thing.
It was time I stepped up my game.



THERE WAS A reason I never did anything daring or spontaneous. It was because once I did
something and loved it I never let it go. I don't let go of experiences and I don't let go of people. If
something grabs me, excites me, makes me feel, I just want to drown in it. I want to be surrounded by
it until I've reached my fill.
Once when I was thirteen my mom took me to Memphis to see Graceland. I had fallen in love with
Elvis Presley that day. I went home and watched all of his movies, gorged on his music, and read
Priscilla Presley's memoir so many times that the binding broke and the pages began to fall out. I was
obsessed and wanted to learn everything there was to know about him and his life.
It's my personality. I invest. I don't let go. I hold on long after there is anything left to hold on to.
It's why as an adult I've learned to be careful about the things I latch on to.
So, yeah, I was supposed to let go of Keaton and San Francisco when I got on that plane to come
home. I was supposed to tuck the memory away in a box only to revisit it now and then. Instead, I'd
brought home the souvenir and put it right there on my desk where I could look at it every single day
and remember every glorious moment in full color, vivid detail. There was no other way to
remember it. It had been so real and so alive, breathing a life of it's own with every moment that there
really was no way that I could walk away from it all without any repercussions.
After my talk with Lily I had managed to rein it in somewhat. I tried to find balance and leave the
computer alone. I knew it wasn't good for me. All it did was keep the whole thing fresh at the surface.
Like a scab I continually wanted to pick at. How was it ever going to heal if I didn't leave it alone?
Especially when he was sending me late night texts telling me that he missed me. Seriously? I had
stared at my phone screen for an hour. It was the middle of the night, so I couldn't take it seriously. He
was probably drunk and lonely and I was just a number in his phone, a recent good time. I couldn't
text him back. Id wanted to. Id wanted to tell him that I missed him too, but I knew when the light of
day came he'd regret having texted me at all and I'd just look foolish. So I'd left it unanswered.
That didn't keep me from going through all of the ways the conversation could have gone had I
answered. I played multiple versions out in my head.

Q: I miss you, too.
K: I wish you were here.
Q: Me too.
K: Can we start over?

Or

Q: What would you do if I were there?
K: So many things.
Q: Like what?
K: All of the things that I want to do to your body.
Q: Tell me.


Obviously, this version led to epic sexting.

Q: Who is this?
K: Don't play dumb, you know who this is.
Q: What do you want?
K: Do you still have my t-shirt? I'm going to need that back.

I could go on, but every version was just as pathetic as the last. It was a good thing I hadn't replied.
Still, I craved the sound of his voice. I missed him. I missed him a lot. So much that I questioned
my sanity. Id known him for only a week, yet hed already held on much longer than that.
But like I said, I hold on to things.
Usually when something ends, whether it's a relationship or a fling, it ends because something is
wrong. It ends because something went bad. Its the bad parts, the things that have started to turn sour
that provide you with some kind of closure. It pushes you to move on, close the door and go forward.
It gives your heart something unpleasant to focus on while it heals.
With Keaton, there weren't any bad moments. It was all part of the one week design. It was the
whole reason Id snuck out of his hotel room and avoided the goodbye. I thought I could just wrap the
whole thing up in a nice little bow and take it home with me.
What I thought would be my biggest advantage became my biggest flaw.
My lack of bad memories hadnt kept me from missing him. It made me miss him more. It made
me crave him from deep in the pit of my stomach.
The whole thing had taken on a kind of fairytale quality. In the quiet of the night it hardly even felt
real anymore. I was sure Id simply romanced it into something way beyond what it was, a story that I
could remember when I wanted to remember what it felt like to be brave.
Only then I would close my eyes and I could almost feel his lips against my own, I could almost
smell the faint scent of his cologne mixed with his woodsy soap. And it was enough. Enough to tell
me that it had been real. For a time. And that was all Id dared asked for. Adventures aren't meant to
last forever. If they did they wouldn't be adventures, they would be ordinary. That's what I told myself.
It worked.
Most of the time.
At least until the words started.
If I had doubted any of my memories as reality then the words would have taken me back. They
were simple. A simple line across a picture and dropped at random on his social media page. There
was nothing attached to it. There was no title or explanation. Everyone seemed to think that he was
teasing a new book. Everyone had their theories about what it could be.
I didn't need theories.
I already knew.

She wore green, the shade of emeralds.
She was enchanting.
Then she smiled and it was in that single moment I became a believer of magic.


Green. It had made my heart hope. Only I had no idea what it dared to hope for.
I huffed as I read the teaser again before shutting my laptop screen. What was I supposed to do with
that? What was he trying to say? I could feel my heart flutter and I mentally scolded myself. This was

not part of my plan. I was on a Keaton Harris hiatus. I needed him out of my head. Id given him way
too much space. I wasn't going to do this. Not anymore. It was time I started following my own rules
again.
If you chose to take the ride you needed to be willing to get off when your turn was over. Our turn
was over. Our expiration date had passed. One late night text and one sappy teaser didn't change any
of that.
Keaton Harris was part of yesterday.
It was time he went back in the box.



"ARE YOU SURE you don't want to go?" Lily asked me for the hundredth time.
"No," I answered. I wished she'd stop asking me this same question. If she kept at it I would change
my mind and end up downtown at the stupid signing and face to face with the guy I promised not to
see again. Knowing Lily, this was exactly her plan. Badgering me relentlessly to do something until I
caved was one of her favorite tactics and she knew that it usually worked.
"No, you don't want to go or no, you aren't sure if you want to go?" she asked. I rolled my eyes as
she smiled innocently at me.
"Both, I admitted.
"Well, that's closer to the truth than I expected," she said. I gave her a glare and continued flipping
through the magazine on my lap without reading any of it. "You know, you can still go and not see
him," she pointed out. I ignored her. I heard her frustrated sigh as she came to sit next to me on the
couch.
"Come on, Quinn. You're being stubborn," she said. I glanced over at her; she was dressed in white
capris and a deep blue top that fell across her bare shoulder.
"Miles is going to love that outfit," I smiled.
"Nice attempt at distraction," she huffed. I shrugged and went back to my magazine.
"I don't want to go without you," she said. She'd offered to not go at all, but I knew she wanted to
see Miles. They'd been talking off and on since we got back from California. It was weird for me,
since he was Keaton's brother, but I tried not to think about it.
"I'm fine. Go. Have fun," I smiled back at her.
"You know he came to this signing for you," she said simply.
"Don't be ridiculous," I scolded. I didn't want to hear things like that. They just played into secret
hopes and secret hopes were the most dangerous kind to have. They were the biggest and the most
unlikely.
"Fine. But what am I supposed to say to him when he asks about you? Because you know he's
going to ask about you."
"Don't say anything. If he asks how I am, tell him I'm doing great and then change the subject. Lily,
I'm not being difficult. I'm just trying to protect myself. I don't fit into his world and I don't want
anything messing up my memory of us. I know it sounds crazy, but I know how it will turn out if I go
there and it's just easier this way."
"One of these days you are going to have to stop playing it safe, Quinny. Don't you remember how
good it felt to let go? Don't miss out on life because youre afraid of being hurt. There is too much
you'll miss out on if you do." Lily, my ever-present cheerleader and life coach. I appreciated her
advice. I really did. But for today I just didn't feel brave enough to jump.
Lily left for the signing and I decided the best thing for me to do was to keep busy so I didn't think
about the fact that Keaton was in town, just a few miles from this apartment or the way my heart felt
like it was twisting into knots because I missed him so much. First, I cleaned the kitchen. I rearranged
the cabinets and organized the pantry. Then, I pulled down all of the curtains in the house and washed
and ironed them. I blared music from my headphones to drown out any lingering thoughts of going

to the signing. I stayed so busy that before I knew it the sun was setting. After a long hot shower I
slipped on a pair of sleep shorts and grabbed my Kindle. It was storming outside, my favorite weather
for reading. I grabbed my grandmother's quilt and settled in on the overstuffed couch. Lily had texted
me not to worry about her, that she was with Miles. I wondered if she was also with Keaton. I hadn't
asked her if she'd talked to him. I wasn't ready to hear the answer.
I opened the book, but now that I was sitting still, surrounded by the quiet, the onslaught of
thoughts Id been avoiding all day had found me and I ended up just staring at the words. The thunder
outside rumbled, causing the pictures on the walls to rattle. I jumped in surprise, laughing at myself.
I jumped again with the sound of a loud knock on the front door. I froze. When the knock came
again I slowly pushed the blanket back and stood on shaky legs. It could be anyone; my dad, the pizza
guy who always tried to deliver here by mistake, but as I walked slowly to the door my heart began to
beat a frantic rhythm, because even if I wasn't ready to admit who might be on the other side of that
door, my body knew. My body felt the pull and my heart had no choice but to follow.
Sure enough, when I peered out the peephole there he was. Keaton. Stunningly handsome and
getting drenched. I yanked the door open and for a moment all I could do was stare.
What are you doing here?" The words tumbled from my mouth and I saw doubt flash across his
face, like he was regretting whatever path had led him to my doorstep in the pouring rain. I was happy
to see him, shocked to see him, afraid of the feelings that had left me paralyzed in my doorway
watching this handsome memory tuck himself under the small eave to escape the curtain of water
falling around him.
"I was in the neighborhood," he shrugged. When I still didn't move he sighed, "Do you think I
could come in for a minute? It's a little wet out here."
"Oh, God, I'm sorry. Come in," I stepped aside and he moved past me smelling of familiar cologne
and rain. I watched as he shed his dripping coat, noticing that he was fairly dry underneath. Still, the
fabric of his shirt clung to his frame and reminded me of how good it felt pressed against my own.
"Quinn, the door is open. So is your mouth," he said, his smirky smile teasing me. I quickly shut
the door, embarrassed that he'd caught me staring. Drooling was more like it. Now that he was
standing here I felt like my entire body had been charged with electricity.
"Here, give me your coat."
He handed it over and I walked it into the bathroom so it could drip there. When I came back
Keaton was standing in the same spot, hands in his pocket and looking uncharacteristically
uncomfortable.
"You can come in," I offered motioning to the living room. He followed me and took a seat on the
couch. He looked nervous and I found it to be highly adorable. I didnt know what to say to him, so I
just kind of stared at him for a moment, taking him in. I didn't know how to react to the fact that he
was sitting here. I felt stunned and it seemed to have fried my ability to communicate like a normal
person.
I thought I would see you at the signing today," he said. He held my gaze and I felt my stomach do
a somersault.
"Oh."
He raised his eyebrows, questioning my one word non-answer. I wasn't sure what to say. He knew I
was avoiding him. He wanted to know why. That wasn't even an answer I could give myself.
He leveled his eyes at me, waiting me out. Their intensity had me fidgeting. Not only with nerves,
but with a desire that I'd done my best to keep buried since I'd left San Francisco.
"I had something come up," I offered.
"You were avoiding me," he challenged.
I sighed, "Maybe."

"Why?" he asked.
"I don't know," I admitted.
"Try." His voice pulled me in, I heard the need for answers.
"I didnt know if I could see you again," I admitted.
"I took this signing because I wanted to see you," he said. He shook his head and started again, I
took this signing because I needed to see you.
His words fell over me in slow motion. I wanted to grab each one as they fell and hold on to them
before he took them back.
"You're being awfully quiet over there," he probed.
"Sorry. You're going to have to give me a minute, I admitted.
"I texted you," he pushed again.
"I know," I said, fidgeting in my seat, my fingers twisting together as I chewed the inside of my lip.
"You didn't answer."
I shrugged. Why couldn't I form words? My breath kept catching, keeping me from getting enough
oxygen into my lungs to make real conversation.
Quinn, he said, breaking through the mess of nerves in my head. I looked up, meeting his eyes
and held my breath as he moved to sit closer to me. Just his proximity had my heart beating double
time. Stop thinking so much. Its just me.
I smiled, letting out a breath. His hand moved to brush my cheek and the familiar touch seemed to
settle me, ground me to him, reminded me of the stillness of just being in his arms.
"Im not here to complicate your life, he said quietly. Wasnt he? Didnt I secretly want him to?
I know we agreed to leave everything behind in San Francisco, but I'm not sure that works for me
anymore," he said. He was studying me intently, looking for a real reaction to his words before I
could cover it up. I wondered what he saw there, because honestly, I didn't even know what my
reaction was.
He waited for me to sort it out.
When I took too long he moved closer still and took my hands into his own. "Quinn, look at me,"
he commanded. My eyes lifted to meet his, the soft blue pulling me in and casting their spell over me.
"I want to see you again. I want more than just a memory of an amazing week," he said.
I didnt know what to think. This was not a conversation I had ever planned for. I had no plan of
attack for how to handle this situation. I searched his face, looking for the truth there. Looking for the
real story.
Quinn, say something. Youre killing me.
Youre here, I said finally. The fact still leaving me dumbstruck.
He smiled, Yeah.
Even after I left.
Yeah.
After we agreed.
Yeah.
I missed you, I admitted.
I heard his breath catch, Me too.
I wasnt supposed to miss you. I said.
Me either.
"It won't be like it was in San Francisco," I said softly.
"It might be better," he said.
I took a deep breath, my heart was beating erratically and I was feeling a little dizzy. It was as if my
entire world had shifted on its axis.

I dont know how to do this. You arent part of my plan. I said. This made him smile, the big
grin that had become my favorite.
I guess youll have to wing it then, he shrugged.
I wanted to believe him. But my head was sending me warnings, trying to remind me of reasons
why it couldnt work. This wasnt me. I wasnt this girl.
"Keaton, I'm just a normal girl. I don't do big parties, I don't do drama, I don't worry about what
some guy is doing when I'm not around," I said. I was desperately trying to hold onto my sensibility,
the things that I knew, the things that made me feel safe. I didnt make decisions based on gut feelings.
I didnt say yes because it felt right. I said yes because it made sense. On paper. In real life. In the long
run. Keaton was reckless. I was not reckless. Not in my everyday life. California had been the
exception, not the rule. What if he was here looking for a girl who didnt exist?
He leveled a serious look at me, pinning me in place. "I'm not saying I'm an easy guy to be with. I
get that. And I've never really been one to ask someone else to stick around. What I'm telling you is
that I'm not ready to call us over. San Francisco did something to me, you did something to me. I'm
not ready to let it go just because you think it's a good idea."
"You agreed with me," I choked out. I swear the oxygen in the room had thinned. I couldn't get a
deep breath to stabilize myself. Each breath brought the scent of him and it traveled through my body
waking up every nerve and every desire.
"I've changed my mind," he said simply.
I swallowed hard as his face moved closer to mine. His eyes lingered on my lips and I knew he was
going to kiss me. I felt the pull, like magnets; there would be no resistance.
His name fell from my lips just before his mouth met mine. I melted, like putty, as he kissed me
slow and deep. I let him take control, surrendering to him the way I'd wanted to all along.
His hands in my hair, my hands against his chest he reminded me of everything I'd been missing.
My memories had been nothing but faded facsimiles of the real thing. What he was doing with his
mouth, his tongue and his teeth were stunningly bright with detail.
Even if I'd wanted to think or question anything it would have been in vain. I was starting to realize
that it wasn't the location that had me jumping in without a net, it was Keaton. He made me daring all
on his own.
I was swept away.
Instantly.
"It's crazy how much I've missed you," he said as his mouth pressed hot kisses down my throat,
leaving me nearly panting against him.
"Me too," I managed.
"I kept dreaming about you. About kissing you, touching you, tasting you." I bowed against him as
his hand slipped beneath my tank top and drew soft circles across my stomach. My entire body was a
tense ball of need and fire. "Don't send me away," he said, his voice rough against my ear,
commanding, pleading, needy.
I pulled back to find his eyes and behind the hooded, sultry gaze was the same vulnerability I was
feeling. I smiled, touching his cheek.
"I want you to stay," I said.
Just like that he was on me again, this time his hands lacking restraint and control as they pulled
me to him. I straddled his lap and he lifted my tank top up and over my head. His gaze lingered on my
now bare chest as his thumbs grazed my nipples. They were so sensitive beneath his touch and my
head fell back with his exploration. When his mouth covered the taut bud my body began to move
against him.
I wanted to be closer. I wanted to feel him. He pulled my mouth back to his, his kiss passionate and

demanding. "I'm taking you to bed," he said. He stood and I wrapped my legs around him. "Which
way?" he asked.
I laughed, "Down the hall, last door on the right." He kissed my nose, squeezed my ass and headed
towards my bedroom. Thank goodness I'd cleaned today, I'd hate to have had bras and underwear
scattered about.
He set me down on the edge of the bed and then stood and stared at me. I fought the urge to cover
up under his intense gaze. I liked the way he was looking at me, like he couldn't get enough. "I think
it's time we got rid of these," he said stepping forward and sliding the tiny sleep shorts down my legs,
leaving me in only the tiny white cotton panties I'd put on after my shower . . . before Mr. Sexpot
showed up at my door. I made a mental note to make sure I only wore pretty underwear from this
point forward.
He didn't seem to care though, in fact the way his tongue ran across his lips as he stared at me
made it pretty clear he approved just fine. I watched as he reached behind his head and pulled his shirt
up and over his head. My eyes drifted over the hard lines of his body and I pressed my legs together
to try and calm the ache that had settled there.
Keaton's eyes were focused on me as his hands moved to his belt and he slowly undid the buckle. It
was so slow and deliberate that it felt like I was watching an erotic dance. It was a torturous tease as he
popped the button of his jeans, and slowly lowered the zipper. He caught my eye and gave me a
mischievous smile as he pulled the foil packet from his pocket and tossed it on the bed. Guess hed
been pretty sure of himself.
Finally his jeans slid over his narrow hips leaving only his boxer briefs and a distinct bulge
beneath begging to be released. I was itching to touch him, wanting to feel every hard line of his body.
I sat up and reached for him, letting my fingers trace across his skin. He moved closer allowing me to
explore further, his hands twisting in my hair. My hands moved to his hips, pushing down the material
of his briefs. I glanced up to see his eyes watching me intently. I felt his body tense as I ran my hands
across his perfect ass and then around to grasp his cock. He hissed through his teeth and pulled my
hair slightly causing my head to tilt back momentarily. It sent heat through my blood as I began to
stroke him,
God, baby, that feels good. But Im telling you, Ive been deprived for way too long. Im not so
sure Im going to be able to take you teasing me much longer. He nearly growled, which only
pushed me to see how far I could take him before he snapped.
His eyes were closed when I took him into my mouth and the gasp that left him as I took him deep
stirred my own desire. Jesus, I heard him mumble along with a string of nonsensical words as I
worked him with my mouth and my hand. His hands remained in my hair, but he didnt push, he only
held steady.
Stop, you have to stop. I was completely lost in my moment when he stepped back unexpectedly
and steadied himself. I looked up at him questioningly. Baby, I wasnt kidding. Im all kinds of
wound tight right now and as good as your mouth feels I just want to be buried inside you.
I smiled, enjoying the scattered look on his face. Well, okay then. I stood, and made a show of
crawling slowly onto the bed, my white cotton undies on full display. Keaton was right behind me,
knocking me to the mattress playfully.
I sighed as he moved up my body placing kisses across my back, tracing his tongue up my spine
and leaving soft wet kisses across my shoulders. When he reached my neck I couldnt help the soft
moans that escaped as he pressed himself hard against me.
Id started to think Id made you up, he said, his mouth warm against my ear, as he continued to
kiss my throat, sucking the sensitive skin below my ear. I thought Id imagined you, these soft sighs,
this sweet taste. But now I feel you. Now I know you are real.

His words were my own. And I couldnt believe that we were on the same page. It hardly seemed
possible. Only it was. And as he turned me to my back and pulled the simple white cotton from my
body I knew that Id break all of my rules for him. As he sunk into me, my name falling from his lips,
I knew that for him Id take the risk. When it came to him, I didnt have any other choice.

I ALMOST TALKED myself out of coming here, Keaton said absently as I lay tangled around him,
my head against his chest as he drew soft pathways across my back.
Im glad you did, I said.
"I hate that you left me without a goodbye." He pressed a kiss to the top of my head, taking some of
the sting out of his words.
"I know."
"Do you want to tell me why?" he asked.
I shrugged, "It was just easier. I didn't think I could hold up my end of the bargain," I admitted.
"And what was that exactly?" he asked.
I sighed. I didn't want to admit it out loud. "Leaving you was hard and I didn't want you to think I
was trying to change the rules."
"Youre the one who made the rules, Quinn, not me," he pointed out.
"I know," I said.
"I would have changed them. I would have liked to talk about it at least. When I came out and found
your note I felt cheated. I didn't like it." His words caused a lump to form in my throat and I worked to
swallow it down. I figured he'd be relieved when he came out and saw that I had gone.
"I'm sorry," I said softly.
He pulled me tight against him, "No, I get it. It's just walking away from you wasn't easy for me
either."
"Is that why you are here now?" I asked quietly.
"Yeah. I guess I didnt hold up my end of the bargain either," he said.
His words left me feeling warm. They had me wanting to find my back to my Keaton bubble,
where I was perfectly happy to shut out everything that would bring me down from this high. I didnt
want to take time to question any of it. But I couldnt quiet all of the questions.
I moved out of his grasp and sat up, crossing my legs beneath me. I wanted to see his face when I
asked him the things that were weighing on my mind.
"So, what happens next?" I asked, hoping I sounded braver than I felt at asking such a direct
question.
I dont know, what are you doing tomorrow? he asked casually, folding his arms behind his head
and smiling that dazzling smile. God, he was beautiful. It threw me off my game.
Im actually going to a baseball game with my dad, I said.
He frowned, You have plans? He looked so crestfallen that I couldnt help but smile.
You were planning on staying? I asked, my hope starting to overtake my good sense.
Maybe, if you let me, he said.
In the space of a moment my heart wanted to make plans. Big plans. Then I stopped myself. Wait.
Youre distracting me. I had a question.
"What happens next, he said, reminding me.
That was it. I nodded.

With us?" he clarified.

I nodded feeling the blush touch my cheeks. He moved to sit, mirroring my cross-legged pose. He
took my hands into his and steadied his gaze on mine.
I don't want to leave here and not see you again. In fact, Im pretty sure I want to talk to you every
day. Im going to want to know what youre doing and ask you how your day was. I want to find time
to kiss you and worship your body on a regular basis. I'm not okay with leaving us in the past," he
said.
"Okay," I breathed as my mind wrapped around his words, putting them away safely so I could
replay them later in vivid detail.
"Does that work for you?" he asked. His stare left my breathing a little shallow.
"I think . . . I think I need to be really honest with you," I started. I watched as he took a deep
steadying breath, bracing himself for what I would say next. That made me smile. I liked the idea that
he felt a little bit nervous. Because I was nervous.
"I know I was okay with being casual back in San Francisco. It was fun and it was exciting, and I
knew what I was in for, for the most part. But this is me in real life. And I know that if we continue
down this road that I'm going to have real feelings for you. I already do. I'm going to get attached. So
if you're looking for something casual, a girl that you can call periodically for a random hook up, I
don't think I'm up for it. So, if that's the case, I get it. I'll still be really glad that you showed up at my
door and that we had this night, but I won't -- I can't--." I started to stumble over my words, not sure
how to say what I was feeling.
I watched as the smile overtook his face and he leaned towards me, his hands leaving mine as he
cupped my face, his long fingers brushing across my cheeks.
"Quinn," he said his voice silencing my speech for good. "I don't want to do random with you."
"You don't?" I asked.
"No," he smiled, his body closing the small space between us, his mouth brushing against mine.
"Good."
"So, its settled, Im going to stay. And I'm going to wake up beside you in the morning and youre
going to let me go watch baseball with you and your dad, he said. I smiled, nodding. I liked the idea
of taking him with me tomorrow. But, right now, I'm going to make you come with my mouth," he
smiled as he pushed me down to my back.
"Okay," I said with a giggle, a giggle that quickly vanished into a sigh as his warm mouth began to
kiss its way down my skin.



DAYLIGHT CAME AND with it, my new reality with Keaton finally started to sink in. It's funny how
morning can give things a whole new perspective. It felt like a new beginning, with him still wrapped
up in my sheets, staring at me with sleepy eyes and a boyish smile. He was here, in my bed, in my
world and the smile that found my lips threatened to stick around permanently.
"Ready for game day?" I asked him as I snuggled against his warm body. He instantly tucked me in
closer to his side.
"Ready to spend the day with you. I've missed you. I don't do well with the missing thing," he said. I
smiled bigger.
"Well, I know you are a Yankee's fan, but today you are Royal blue," I teased, running my fingers
along his naked torso.
"You think your dad will like me?" he asked quietly.
"Depends on if you tell him you're a Yankee's fan," I teased. He laughed and the vibrations echoed
in my ear.
"I'll remember that," he said.

I SHOWERED WHILE Keaton left to grab some clothes from his hotel. Images of the night before
played in my mind on a highlight reel, like a romantic movie trailer. I was back to living someone
else's life, sliding into the skin of the other version of me.
When I was around Keaton I felt a fire inside. It made me feel alive and daring. It was new, but it
was empowering. It was like that shy girl, the careful one who had always taken a back seat or
questioned every choice from the sidelines was suddenly willing to step forward and be heard. It
wasnt that he made me different. It wasnt even that he gave me courage. It was something more than
that, something unspoken, natural, effortless. It opened me up to possibility. I hadnt even realized it
until hed come back.
We werent taking a normal path. We werent a typical story. But I was starting to realize that I
liked it, because it was ours.
I was nervous about introducing him to my family. Id never told them about meeting him, so I
knew they'd be shocked when I suddenly brought him home out of the blue.
I heard a soft tap on the bathroom door as it opened. "I'm back and I brought breakfast. Need some
company?" Keaton asked.
"You could join me, but I'm pretty sure neither of us will make the game if you do. I mean, I'm fine
with missing it, but if you want my dad to like you, you won't come between him and his Royals," I
pointed out.
He seemed to think about it before moving the shower curtain. "Shit, I really wanted him to like

me, but now I'm thinking I should just risk it." He reached his hand into the shower and tugged my
arm so that I was closer to the edge. "Kiss me," he demanded. I laughed and obliged his request. How
could I not? Kissing him was heaven.
I pulled back and pointed to the door. "That's enough; now go eat your breakfast. I'll be out in a
minute. Make me some coffee," I suggested.
"Only if you tip the barista," he smiled, walking backwards to the door.
"We'll see how good the coffee is."
"Oh, it will be good. Best damn coffee you've ever had," he shot back playfully. I laughed and shut
the curtain.
I finished washing my hair and shaving my legs. With Keaton here I put a little more effort into my
morning routine. I was looking forward to him touching me later. I smiled at the thought. Keaton
Harris was in my kitchen. It still took me by surprise. I'd never thought he would end up on my
doorstep. Ever. But the moment I saw him, it was like all of the doubts I'd been wrestling with, had
disappeared.
The sight of him standing there in the pouring rain was burned into my memory. I've never seen a
rain-soaked man look so devastatingly handsome. Last night had been a turning point. Not just for us,
but for me. Keaton made me want to be brave; he made me want to jump in without trying to reason it
out. Maybe it was dangerous and reckless, but I wanted to be dangerous and reckless with him. I
wanted to live on the edge. I wanted to jump right over it.
I knew I was getting ahead of myself. The logical part of my brain was still there to warn me to
slow down, to take it one day at a time, but excitement can drown out the voice of reason. And for
once, I was glad that it could. Today I was taking Keaton to meet my family, sharing a part of me with
him and I was excited to do it.
When I made it out to the kitchen Keaton was sitting at the bar sipping coffee and eating a bagel.
He was wearing a pair of long white cargo shorts, a blue Royals jersey and a baseball cap. I smiled
wide as I took him in from head to toe. He looked good in blue.
"Did you rob a sporting goods store?" I asked stepping up and kissing his cheek. He pulled me
back when I started to step away and kissed me properly. I could taste the cream cheese on his tongue.
"I couldn't show up without the proper attire," he scoffed.
"Good call," I smiled pulling out a bagel from the bag.
"I left you a matching one on the bed. I got one for your dad too," he smiled, proud of himself.
"You did all of that this morning?" I asked.
He shrugged, "I told you I needed to go and get some clothes."
"Pulling out all the stops, huh?" I teased.
"I don't do anything halfway," he threw me a smirk and a suggestive glance and while I knew he
was teasing me, it still sent a wave of flutters through my stomach and a heat across my skin. I'm
pretty sure I blushed a little too, just from the memories that look brought back.
"You are trouble," I pointed out. He smiled, satisfied.
"I am. But a little bit of trouble is good for you, don't you think?"
"We'll see. I'll get back to you," I smiled. He leaned towards my chair and kissed the corner of my
mouth.
"I'll wait," he said quietly.
His voice alone was enough to do me in. "Coffee?" he asked, his mouth near my ear. He was trying
to get a reaction out of me. I knew it. And while I refused to give him one out right, I knew he saw
straight through me. He clearly liked to see me fidget. He laughed quietly and moved to the coffeepot.
It allowed me enough time to slow my heartbeat and take a deep breath away from the intoxicating
scent of his cologne.

When he returned with my mug I had calmed myself down more or less. He gave me a wink and
returned to his chair to finish his breakfast. I stole a glance over at him, taking in the sharp line of his
jaw and the way it was shadowed with a hint of stubble. I loved the look on him just like I loved the
way it felt against my cheek and against my thighs.
And so much for calm and collected.
"So tell me more about your dad," Keaton said, pulling me away from the fantasies that had started
playing in my head. "You told me he always wanted a boy and the games were always your thing." I
liked that he remembered that story.
"My dad is great. We're really close. He is a contractor, so he's always in the garage building
things. I think when he retires he'll end up selling wooden rocking chairs and coffee tables to the
shops in town. He loves it. He calls it a hobby, but he is really good at it. He made the coffee table in
the living room actually," I said. I was proud of my dad. He was really talented.
I didn't have those kinds of skills. I wasn't crafty at all. I wanted to be, but the most I'd ever
managed was a scrapbook of my senior year. Only, I'd never kept it up and by the time winter formal
came along my pages were less craft and more paste. I just didn't have the patience for it. Mom would
just laugh at me when I started some new craft project. She knew I was most likely going to give it up
halfway in and just go read. Reading I was good at. Glitter, glue, and I never really saw eye to eye.
"That's impressive," Keaton said, eying the table.
"I'm proud of him. When I was growing up I'd get so fascinated watching him. He put a chair out
there and I'd take my book out and read while he worked. I'd sit out there with him for hours. I don't
know, it was kind of special," I admitted.
Keaton smiled at me and I thought maybe he wanted to make fun of me for being a daddy's girl.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing. I just like this side of you. I like that you are close to your family and the way your eyes
smile when you talk about them. It's very genuine," he said.
I shrugged, not sure what to say, so I changed the subject instead.
"We should probably get going," I said jumping down from my stool. I still needed to get dressed
in my new jersey.
"Wait, come here," he said, stopping me and pulling me towards him. I stood between his knees,
the heat of him surrounding me. He ran his hand gently across my cheek and along my jaw. "Thank
you for letting me come with you today," he said.
I smiled, "It will be fun."
He nodded and his hands moved to rest on my hips. I shifted under his gaze, still serious. "Thank
you for letting me back in your life." It was quiet; if I weren't so close I might have questioned the
words I'd heard. I swallowed hard, unable to come up with anything to say. So I kissed him instead and
when his arms wrapped around me and held me tightly against his body I knew that no words were
needed.

WE PULLED UP to the house and before we could even make it to the front door it was flung open
and my parents were standing there; Dad excited and ready for the game and Mom because she
couldn't wait to get a look at Keaton. And here I thought calling them on the way to warn them would
be a good idea. I saw the satisfied smile on her face as she took him in, laughing at her not so subtle
wink that said she approved.

"Quinny," Dad smiled meeting us on the sidewalk and wrapping me up in a hug.

"Hi, Dad," I smiled. I gave Mom a hug, too, before introducing them to a slightly nervous Keaton.
He didn't really show any outward signs of nerves, but I noticed the change, the slight fidget as he
leaned from foot to foot.
"Guys, this is Keaton," I said. He shook my dad's hand and gave my mom one of his charming
smiles as she pulled him into an unexpected hug.
"Keaton, these are my parents, Wayne and Karen. Karen is the one who doesn't know the
appropriate amount of time that an introductory hug should last," I teased. Mom stepped back and
laughed at my jab.
"It's very nice to meet you, Keaton. So, I hear you are going to brave the game with these two?"
Mom asked.
"That's the plan," Keaton smiled.
"I sure do like those jerseys," Dad said, eying the new gear that Keaton had found.
"Yeah?" I asked turning around and showing off. "I think he might have snagged one for you too."
I watched as Dads eyes went wide as Keaton handed him a bag.
"I hear you're a Brett fan?" Keaton asked as he pulled out the number five jersey of Hall of Famer
George Brett. I thought he might give Keaton one of those inappropriate long hugs. Dad loved it.
"Well, you didn't have to do that. But I sure do love it. Thank you," he smiled.
"I know you aren't going to the game with us, Karen, but I grabbed you one too," Keaton said and I
watched my mother swoon in spite of herself. This man could take anyone down.
"Well aren't you sweet? Now yall come inside. Wayne will need to change and I want to talk for a
few minutes before you leave," Mom said as she ushered us towards the front door. Dad was still
admiring the jersey in his hands. You'd have thought that it had actually been taken straight from
George Brett's closet the way he was examining it.
"I was hoping that maybe after the game tonight you'd come back over and we could have dinner
together," Mom suggested as we filed into the living room.
"Mom, you don't have to make dinner," I said.
"Nonsense. I want to. I've missed seeing you and I really want to get to know your friend," she said.
I rolled my eyes at the way she said friend, like she was in on my secret. Granted, I wasn't sure what
label to put on Keaton, but I was with her on the fact that friend really didn't seem to cut it anymore.
Keaton beamed at the attention and slid his arm around me casually. "I think dinner would be
great," he said, making the decision for us. I guess we were going to jump right in. Welcome to the
family, Keaton Harris.
The drive to the game was full of Dad telling stories about how he'd dragged me around to games
as a kid and how when we'd watch the games on TV I'd always sneak read while quietly chanting
under my breath.
"What do you mean quietly chanting?" Keaton asked amused. He was sitting in the front seat of my
dad's SUV and so I had no choice but to listen to them carry on about me as if I werent even there.
"Well, Quinn likes to pretend that she has the ability to affect the game by focusing in on what she
wants to happen," Dad started.
"Im not pretending. At this point its just fact. It's been proven time and time again," I pointed out
loudly from the backseat.
"For instance," Dad continued, "If we're up to bat she quietly repeats the word home over and over.
If we are in the outfield she goes with strike or out. I don't even think she realizes that she's doing it
most of the time," he laughed.
"You can laugh at me all you want, old man, but I didn't see you complaining when we won the
pennant," I pointed out. Dad's eyes met mine in the rearview and they danced with happy energy.

"You're right, Pumpkin, it was all you. Thank you for that," he said. Keaton laughed and turned
back to look at me.
"That's some pretty powerful chanting you have going on," he smiled.
I shrugged, "I choose to use my powers for good."
We made our way into the crowded parking lot of Kauffman Stadium. I had spent many summers
on this asphalt, playing games or cooking out before a game. It felt like home and was easily the best
part of summer for me. I loved the atmosphere and the excitement that floated in the air. Even if the
team was having an off year, and let's face it there were some off years, the fans were still excited. It
never seemed to die down.
"I'll go grab the tickets," Keaton offered as we neared the ticket booth. Dad started to protest, but
Keaton had already walked away getting lost in a sea of blue.
"I like him," Dad offered.
"You just met him," I teased.
"I know. But he has a good feel about him," he said.
"Yeah," I agreed shyly. I didn't bring guys home often. None of them really seemed worthy of the
effort, but having Keaton here with me today made me feel good all over. He fit naturally, something
that kept surprising me.
Keaton walked up to us a few minutes later, his smile barely contained as he handed us each a
ticket. I glanced down, my eyes growing large. I glanced over at my dad who was wearing the same
shocked expression and then over at Keaton who simply shrugged.
"Son, these are crown seats at home plate," Dad said, his voice low as if he wasn't sure he was
reading the ticket correctly.
"Is that okay?" Keaton asked, suddenly questioning his decision to go all out and buy the best seats
in the stadium.
"Hell yes it's okay. Hot damn," Dad called out and it made me laugh to see his instant joy. I saw
Keaton relax a little as dad slapped him on the back and stared at his ticket, clutching it tightly in his
hand. I felt my heart constrict, watching it, because I knew that no matter what he would remember this
game for a very long time.
Dad was practically running towards the line at this point, anxious to get to his padded seat and the
free beer provided in the lap of luxury. I slid my hand into Keaton's as we followed behind him.
"Thank you. That was insanely generous and incredibly kind," I said looking up at him. His eyes
sparkled and he leaned in to kiss my forehead.
"You're welcome. I want this day to be special. I like making memories with you," he said. I felt my
skin tingle as his words hit that part of my heart where fairytale wishes are born. He kept this up and I
was going to be shopping for glass slippers.
I'd been to a lot of baseball games growing up, but as we reached our seats even I was staring at the
field open mouthed and in awe. "Wow," I muttered half to myself as we watched the warm ups taking
place. They were so close.
"I did good?" Keaton's voice leaned in against my ear. I turned to him and smiled, giving him a
kiss.
"You did amazing," I said. The smile that lit his face was more than I could have ever asked for.
The shy side of him, looking for approval grabbed my heart.
The day had turned out amazing. Dad and I taught Keaton all of the cheers and soon he was starting
the chant that echoed through the stadium. I don't think Dad could have been more proud if he had
actually been a player on the field. The fact that we walked away with a win capped it off to perfection.
Dad chattered all the way back to the car, giddy as I'd ever seen him. If I'd been worried about his
approval of Keaton it would have been a waste. I'm pretty sure he'd offer up his blessing for marriage

after a day like today.

"I'll call your mom and let her know we are on our way," Dad said. He walked ahead of us a few
steps and I looped my arm through Keaton's as we walked.
"You sure you want to do family dinner after this?" I asked. I was a little worried that he'd thrown
himself into the deep end without thinking.
"Well, yeah, I gotta win your mom over. Plus, she's making lasagna so I'm not missing that," he
teased.
"Remember this conversation when she has you cornered," I warned. He laughed, confident as ever
and completely relaxed. There was a time when his swagger would have annoyed me, but that had
been before I got to know the man behind it. Now, I found it incredibly appealing. It was the take
charge attitude that now made me feel safe and taken care of.
Mom was ecstatic to have us over. She'd not only made lasagna, but had a whole spread of food
including two kinds of salad, bread and two desserts. I don't know how many people she was planning
on feeding, but she'd be living on leftovers for days.
Over dinner my parents asked Keaton all kinds of questions about his job and his family. It was
funny watching him on the other side of the question game. But he was charming and funny and I
found myself falling for him even more.
Once dinner was over and Keaton and I had helped clean the kitchen I told them we needed to get
going. We'd had enough parent time for one day and I was ready to get him alone.
"You want to come back to the hotel with me?" he asked quietly as I pulled onto the highway. I
glanced over at him, his eyes locking on mine with lusty promise.
I nodded once and smiled, "Okay."



TODAY HAD BEEN different. I'm not sure what I had expected when Id shown up at Quinn's
apartment, I hadn't really given it much thought at all. I just knew that I had to see her, had to hear her
voice, had to feel her skin. She was like a drug that I'd been craving for weeks and my only thought
had been to get to her.
But then something surprising started happening. It wasn't just that I needed to have her in my space
again or that I needed to feel her pressed against my body or sighing my name on those perfect lips, it
was so much more.
Seeing Quinn with her family and the way she interacted with them and learning the stories about
how she'd become the woman that she is, to see where she came from was more than I'd expected.
This was the part where I got to start peeling back the layers and seeing inside this girl who had
remained such a mystery to me. It's crazy to feel like you really know someone and then to suddenly
realize that you only knew a tiny part, that there are so many other nooks and crannies that you've yet
to explore. Every person has the big things, the big picture things that everyone gets to see. They are
the easy pieces; the top layers that shield you away from the delicate parts. I wanted to dig deeper, peel
away each piece until I found the center, the core of what made her Quinn. That was my new craving. I
wanted to know her from the inside out, every tiny facet, every flaw that she tried to hide, every
memory that shaped her present.
I took her back to the hotel. I didn't want to take the chance that people would be at her apartment. I
didn't want to share her with Lily. I'd had to share her all day and while I'd loved every second of it,
now I wanted her all to myself.
She took in the room, simple and dim. "You aren't sharing a room with Miles?" she asked.
I shook my head as I crossed the room towards her. "We wanted our own space," I said. Her mouth
fell in a silent, Oh. I pulled her to me and kissed her nose. "Today was good," I said.
She grinned, "It was."
"I like your parents," I smiled, running a finger across her cheek.
"You won them over. I think they might like you more than they like me at this point," she laughed.
"It happens," I teased. It made her laugh and she shook her head at me. "What about you? Do you
still like me?" I asked. She stared up at me with the sweetest eyes, genuine and focused.
"More than ever," she admitted.
I couldn't stop the smile that overtook me. I could try and play it cool with her, but I would fail.
And that was okay, because I wanted her to see the real me, the unprotected version. In a way, she'd
seen that side all along. She'd never wasted time with the facade. She was only interested in the me that
lived beneath.
The room was dark and quiet and something about it charged the air. I watched as Quinn glanced
around, her eyes lingering on the king bed. I walked up behind her, slipping my arms around her
waist and pulling her back against me.
"It feels really good to hold you," I said, my mouth against her ear. She sighed contented.
"It feels good to be held. I'm glad you don't play by the rules," she said.
I chuckled, "Me too. I was crazy to think I could leave you behind."

She turned to face me, her eyes drifting across my face as if she were trying to memorize it. Her
hand reached out and traced fingers across the stubble on my jaw.
"You're here. In my real life." Her voice was soft, almost like she was talking to herself.
"Real life?" I asked.
She smiled and nodded. "I never thought I'd get to have you in real life," she admitted.
"So California was?" I asked, amused.
"Unexpected," she said. "I never thought I'd get to keep you."
"And now?"
"You leave tomorrow," she said quietly.
"Doesn't mean goodbye.
She smiled, "Do we even know what we are getting ourselves into?"
"Not a clue. But it's going to be one hell of a ride," I said.
Her face lit up, in that way that made my heart feel like it was too big for my chest, "I'm looking
forward to it."

I WAS PACING, watching the numbers on the arrival board click through, watching the escalator for
new arrivals.
Waiting.
My stomach was a mess of nerves and excitement. It was silly really. It was just Quinn. It had been
three weeks since Id left her in Kansas City. I'd talked to her every day since then. But shit, I'd missed
her. I couldn't wait to grab her up and take her home.
Home. I was taking her home. She was staying in my space, in my world and I got to keep her there
for three whole days. Our love affair was measured in moments of time. I looked forward to the day
she found a job here and we could take it all for granted. Until then, all I wanted to do was soak up the
time I did have and make it count.
Finally, her flight registered as landed and I went from pacing to staring. I knew logically it would
still take a long time for her to get off of the plane and down here to baggage claim, but I was
anxious. I wanted to wish her into life. It was agony, the waiting.
It seemed to take forever. After countless faces among strangers she finally came into view. That
whole thing about your heart skipping? Turns out it's true. Mine missed a full three beats before it
remembered to start pumping again. She stood at the top of the escalator searching me out and when
our eyes locked she gave me a small wave. The smile broke across my face as I pushed against the
traffic to get to her faster. Once she'd cleared the bottom I pulled her to me and wrapped her up in a
bear hug.
"You're here," I said as I squeezed. She laughed against my chest.
"Hi," she managed; it came out muffled, probably because I was smothering her. I stepped back to
give her some air and so I could take her in. She was beautiful. I'd forgotten how beautiful. It was
something memory and photo couldn't capture. There was a glow that could only be fully appreciated
in person.
"You're so fucking beautiful, Quinn," I breathed her in, the faint smell of her shampoo waking up
my memories. I pulled her close, dipped her back and kissed her. I meant to keep it sweet, but once my
lips found hers it ignited the passion and I kissed her deeply. She clung to my neck, holding on as I
leaned her back further still, just like in an old Hollywood movie.

When I finally put her back on her feet she stared up at me breathless. I smirked at her, her dreamy
expression doing wonders for my ego. "I should let you miss me all the time," she laughed. I pulled
her in for another hug, unable to handle any of the distance between us.
"Let's get your stuff," I smiled. I slapped her ass and pushed her towards baggage claim, "I'll take
you home and show you exactly how much I missed you. I hope you slept on the plane," I teased.

I PAID THE delivery guy for dinner and laid it all out on the table. I knew she had to be hungry. I was
working hard at being a gentleman by not attacking her the moment we'd entered the apartment. I was
showing even more restraint by not following her sexy ass into the shower when she decided she
wanted to wash off the travel grime. I'd offered to do it for her, but she'd smiled and told me to wait
and order her dinner.
It was fine. I needed her to have enough energy for what I had planned anyway. I wasn't planning
on letting her sleep much tonight. I'd waited too damn long to get her back in my arms to waste any
part of it.
I heard the bathroom door open and called out that dinner was waiting. When I didn't hear her
respond I took a step towards the hallway, stopping short when I saw her.
"Fuck, Quinn, are you trying to kill me?" I growled. She gave me a soft, sexy smile as she posed
with one hand on her hip. She was wearing a tiny, black lace cami nightgown that fell just past her
hips. I could see straight through it, from the pink bow on her panties to her pebbled pink nipples. My
dick was rock hard.
"You like it? I got it just for you," she teased, running one finger across the swell of her cleavage.
"Best fucking present I've ever gotten," I said moving towards her.
"But you haven't even unwrapped it yet," she cooed. She fucking cooed. Like some sex kitten. Who
was this girl and how the fuck did I get so lucky?
"Well, shit, baby, I guess we better fix that." I pulled her to me, running my hand along her thigh,
her skin was as smooth as silk, and when I brushed her lacy black panties I could already feel how wet
she was.
I kissed her slow and deep, slowly moving her backwards until I had her pinned against the wall
behind her. Her hands wrapped around the back of my neck, tangling in my hair. But, I was in control,
she couldn't go anywhere, she was mine to devour. I traced my tongue across her jaw; I sucked her
bottom lip, nipping as I savored each taste.
"I got you dinner. I hope you like cold Thai food because right now I'm taking you to bed."
"Thats my favorite kind," she said. I lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around me, rubbing
her hot core against the painful bulge in my jeans. As I carried her into the bedroom she tugged the tshirt over my head, making me laugh at her awkward struggle.
I set her on the floor and took a step back taking a moment to watch her watching me as I slowly
unhooked my belt and slid my jeans over my hips; her gaze never wavering, promising me so many
things. When I stood before her in just my boxer briefs she moved to me her hand reaching out stroke
my erection. Just that small touch had me aching as I pushed into her hands. Fuck, I needed to be slow
with her, savor her, but all I could think about was sliding into her, taking her fast and rough.
"I got you something too," I said, my breath already a little shallow. She quirked up an eyebrow as
she continued to stroke me.
"I see that," she teased.

"I'm serious, hold on." I moved away from her, painfully. She protested and it made me smile.
"Trust me, baby."
I pulled out the envelope from the bedside table. I had planned on doing this differently, but now I
knew I couldn't wait. The need had grown unbearable and it had to be now. I handed her the envelope
and she gave me a curious look, confused as to why I was stopping our seduction for this.
"Open it," I said. I kissed her neck and then bent to kiss her stomach as she opened it up. Her eyes
scanned the paper and then locked on mine, still not understanding completely. I stood up and leveled
my gaze to hers.
"These are my test results. I know I have a past, but I want you to know that you are safe with me.
Completely safe. Above everything else I want you to know that. I saw the smile play at her lips as
she looked back down at the paper. I took a deep breath, Theres more. I know it's presumptuous, but
I want to be with you without anything else between us. You said you were on the pill, so, I thought . .
." Doubt filled my voice as I realized just how crazy I sounded. Test or no test she may not want to go
bare with me. I'd never done it before. I'd never wanted to. But with her, it was all I could think about,
to be inside her, to feel her skin to skin, to empty myself in her and claim her somehow. I knew I
sounded like a caveman, but it was something I wanted her to say yes to.
I waited, my heart banging against my chest.
"You did this for me?" she asked softly.
"Yeah. Well, for us, for me," I shrugged.
She turned and put the paper on the nightstand and moved to me. She moved her hands down my
chest and then rested them on my hips. Her eyes locked on mine as she began to push my boxer briefs
down. Her fingers wrapped around my cock and she began to slide her hand up and down my shaft. It
nearly brought me to my knees.
"You know I trust you. I'm yours, completely," she said. I walked her backwards until her knees hit
the bed.
She was mine. Those words did a number on me. So simple, but spoken with such commitment that
it took me over like a wave. I looked down at her face, my heart clenched tightly at the sight of her. I
was falling under her spell more each day.
"You are beautiful." I didn't even recognize my own voice. It was full of emotion and it surprised
me, just like it always did. The things that this girl made me feel, the things that she did to my heart-they were consuming. I wanted every part of her. I wanted it and I feared it. It was a constant back and
forth, a constant question. Could I do this? Could I fall completely? Go all in? Now that Id pushed
her, convinced her to do this there was a small part of me that worried I was making promises I
couldnt keep.
She pulled me under with each kiss. She demanded more without ever asking for a thing. It was so
simple, yet so complicated. I was my own worst torture, my heart's own enemy. She was my forbidden
fruit, my greatest temptation.
"You make me feel beautiful," she said softly. The tiny strap of her nightgown fell past her
shoulder, leaving her skin begging to be touched, to be kissed. The shy, sultry smile on her lips was
the perfect kind of contradiction. She was a puzzle and I wanted nothing more than to take my time
figuring her out.
I moved in closer to her, my cock throbbing at the way she ran her tongue across her plump, pink
lips. The scraps of lace she wore were so fucking sexy that I wanted to rip them from her body and
bury myself deep inside. I wanted to devour her selfishly. But she had taken the time to buy something
pretty and I knew she deserved to be seduced slowly, to be worshiped and savored.
I ran my hands up her arms slowly, my fingers a whisper across her skin. She was silk beneath me
and the need to taste her overwhelmed me. I dipped my head to place soft kisses on each shoulder and

then across her collarbone. Her breath stuttered beneath my lips, her head falling back to expose more
flesh. I took advantage of her invitation kissing her throat, up to her jaw and finally taking her earlobe
in between my teeth. The tiny moan that escaped her had me pushing her back, my hand behind her
head as I moved her to the pillows and hovered over her.
I soaked up the visual, burning the image to a memory because when nights got lonely I wanted to
remember every curve of her, just like this, staring up at me with lust filled eyes and soft pants of
want. My entire body ached, my muscles tense as I willed myself to take my time.
Her hands moved across my chest, drawing small circles. Soft like a feather, then followed by the
bite of nails as her own arousal ramped up with anticipation. I leaned back on my knees, my hands
running up her inner thighs. The lace bunched in my palms as I ascended slowly. She moved beneath
me, her body already twisting with need. My quiet, questioning girl completely undone and
unapologetic in her desire. I loved seeing her like this. I loved that it was me who brought her to this
point. I teased her, slowly tracing her sensitive skin. As I reached the apex of her thighs I ran my
fingers across the lace. I could feel the heat there, the dampness that told me how ready she was. She
matched me in desire and each of us worked hard to hold back, a practice in patience I wasn't sure
either of us would win.
I hooked a finger at the side of her panties and slowly pulled them down. She lifted slightly to help
me, her gaze locked on mine. We didn't have to speak, and the silence in the room only added to the
sultry atmosphere that had overtaken us.
With the lace gone I pushed the camisole up and followed it with kisses across her smooth skin.
Higher. Higher until I reached the place I wanted. I craved her, I needed to taste her, hear her whimper,
feel her shake beneath me. It was intoxicating to watch her fall over the edge and right now there was
nothing I wanted more. I held her eyes, making promises, daring her to let go, warning her that no
matter what I was taking her down. There was nothing I loved more than taking every thought away
from that pretty little head. I wanted her mindless, open, and completely mine.
I slid the nightgown up her body until it was gone and then kissed my way back down, taking time
to take each of her breasts into my mouth, to work each nipple between my teeth so that they stood at
rapt attention.
I licked my way down her flat abdomen, drawing wet circles on my trek, leaving raised flesh in
my wake. She moved against me, with me, searching for something that would relieve the ache I'd
placed there. I understood her need, I needed just as much.
The first flick of my tongue made her gasp, the second made her moan and writhe beneath me. I
pressed my hands to her legs, opening her up to me, demanding full access, full control.
When I sucked her swollen clit she cried out my name and then I was lost in her. She would come
unglued beneath me. I would shred her and then put her back together so I could take her all over
again. Her whimpers were like music, pushing me on as I tasted, sucked and teased. I felt her tense,
felt it just before her body shuddered and incomprehensible words spilled from her lips.
Before she could come down from her high I moved over her, holding myself above her on my
elbows. I paused against her entrance. "Look at me, baby. Open your eyes." I commanded my voice
gruff. She opened them and I was met with hazel pools. I swear someone had hidden diamonds there.
I pushed into her slowly, loving the way she felt against my cock, every inch against her walls as I
sunk into her. I groaned at the sigh on her lips as she pulled me to her. I kissed her deeply, the
connection between us complete. We moved together, her nails against my back, each stroke going
deeper. My body was coiled so tightly, my heart beat heavy against my chest, reaching out towards
hers.
This woman had me completely mesmerized. I fell into her, effortlessly, willingly, hungrily. Our
bodies fit together, perfectly, moving in sync like theyd known each other forever. Her breath caught,

escaping in tiny, shallow exhales as I moved and stretched her beneath me. I wanted to be closer,
deeper, mark every piece of her as my own.
Keaton. Her voice fell on a sigh, and it had me pushing harder.
Fuck, I love hearing you say my name, I admitted. If she was going to strip me bare, I might as
well be honest. Say it again.
Keaton, you feel so good. Hearing her say these things felt like an unexpected gift. My book
nerd, beneath me, telling me how much she liked the feel of me buried deep inside her. God, it did
something to me. Something I couldnt even put into words. It had me close to the edge and I wasnt
ready to fall over it yet.
I slowed my pace, needing to catch my breath before I ended up ending this before either of us was
ready. I pulled out of her so that the head of my cock teased at her entrance. She looked up at me, her
eyes hooded as she waited for my return. I watched them flutter closed as I sunk back in slowly. I
repeated the stroke in slow motion, In. Out. Watching her body react, melting beneath me. Her hands
moved up to my chest pulling me back down to her as I continued my slow assault. I heard the
whimper, felt the tremor that ran through her body and then she was falling apart. I hadnt expected
that, but she was so fucking beautiful. I lost my willpower and chased my own release, overwhelmed
by everything this girl was doing to me.
I came, warm and deep inside her. It was all I could do not to collapse across her so I could just
stay there. I settled for a half collapse and kissing her face. Her forehead, her cheek, her nose, her
lips.
She laughed through her shallow breathing and it helped to ease the heaviness that had taken hold
in my chest. The intensity that kept sneaking up on me, the feelings that I still hadnt figured out what
to do with.
Jesus, Quinn, I said rolling off of her. Im not sure I can handle many more trips to the lingerie
store. She gave me a sideways smirk and I laughed. Okay, Im totally lying. Lets go shopping
tomorrow.
Dont worry, theres more where that came from, she teased.
I pulled her to me, loving the way she tucked herself in against me. I missed you, I said quietly.
Me too. It feels really good to be here, she agreed. And she was right, having her back in my
arms it felt like everything had fallen back into place.



NEW YORK WAS awesome. New York with Keaton was amazing. We spent my first full day in the
city doing all of the touristy things. Keaton said he would allow me this one trip to be a tourist nerd
and then he was going to reel me in and turn me into a real New Yorker. I liked the idea of him as my
teacher, helping me navigate such a big change. I liked it because it meant he was going to be a part of
my future. It made things feel less scary and more exciting.
We'd spent our morning with tours of the Empire State Building and a ferry that had taken us to see
the Statue of Liberty. It was cool to see it all up close, but I could see how to someone like Keaton it
might all be part of the norm. But he didn't seem to be bored or bothered by it. In fact, I think he loved
showing me all of the things I was meant to see.
"Are you hungry?" he asked.
"Starving," I said as a sudden grumble of my stomach reminded me that we hadn't eaten in hours.
"Let's grab a slice and check out the park," he suggested. "That way we can mark off a few more
things on your list."
After we'd hit up his favorite pizza place, where the slices were huge and I was taught the proper
way to fold it over, Keaton took me to Central Park.
I was in love. In the midst of this concrete jungle that could feel cold and jostling they had dropped
in a patch of green. Maybe this is where people came to breathe, to be reminded that things like trees
and grass and sky still existed.
"Let's sit," he said. I watched as he folded himself onto the grass and held out a hand for me to join
him. "This is one of my favorite places to people watch. You can't imagine the stories this place can
inspire. You just have to watch and listen," he smiled conspiratorially.
He made a space for me between his legs and I leaned back against him. He was right; the variety
of people walking in front of us would give him a cast of characters to choose from. I loved it. I
loved listening as he softly told me stories of the people we saw. Between his sultry voice in my ear
and the way his fingers twirled around my own I was more content than I would have thought
possible. It was the perfect afternoon.
On our way back from the park Keaton wanted to stop and grab some wine. He said he had a
surprise for me later. I didn't ask questions, knowing that whatever he had planned it was going to be
good. Keaton moved about the tiny liquor store while I perused the gift section looking for a shot
glass for Lily.
Holding onto a shot glass that read, "Took my shot in New York City" I glanced up to see a tall,
leggy blond sauntering over to my boyfriend. I felt the hair on the back of my neck prickle as I
watched it unfold. She was stunning and she carried herself with the kind of grace that I could only
dream about. She walked straight up to Keaton and slid her arm across his forearm and threw him a
wide smile. Keaton smiled back at her as she chatted easily with him. I took a moment to scrutinize
her. She was beautiful; there was no doubt about it. The kind of girl that surprised you with her
perfection when you finally saw her up close. She wore tiny little white shorts that rode so high up
that I could see the curve of her ass cheeks beneath them. That's as far as I got. Keaton caught my eye
and waved me over. I walked towards them slowly. Blondie was still chattering away, never noticing

Keaton's attention wasn't on her.

I hadn't noticed that I was holding my breath until he slipped his arm around me and pulled me
close to him. It was only then that his friend faltered mid-sentence. "Noelle, this is my girlfriend,
Quinn." I watched her face fall as she took me in. I didn't mind her scrutiny, not with Keaton claiming
me as his. It was silly, the way it made me puff out my chest. Who knew I was so jealous or petty?
"I didn't know," she said with her smile dripping with disdain. It made me smile.
"Nice to meet you," I said. It wasn't. Keaton laughed softly beside me. He knew better.
"Well, we should go. I have plans for this one," Keaton said winking at her. He winked at her. I
nearly choked. He grabbed my hand and led me to the counter leaving Noelle to stand in a stunned
silence watching us leave.
He smiled down at me, before leaning in and kissing my cheek. He had enjoyed that more than he
should.
"You are such trouble," I smiled.
"Keeps it interesting," he replied arrogantly.

LATER THAT NIGHT, I followed Keaton up the creaky stairs of his building, towards my surprise. I
was super curious as to where he was taking me. The door had mentioned roof access, but I had no
idea what that meant or why we were making our way up there. Luckily, I trusted him enough to feel
pretty secure in the fact that he wasn't planning on tossing me off of it. Besides, that boyish grin he'd
been wearing when he suggested I follow him was enough to get me to follow him anywhere.
"You ready for this?" he asked standing in front of a rusted out, faded red door.
"I'm not sure what "this" is, but show me what you got," I smiled.
He flashed me a grin and pushed open the heavy metal door. I stepped past him and out into the
humid summer air and stopped short when I saw what was waiting for us. The rooftop had been
transformed into a magnificent garden. It was beautiful. Someone had taken a lot of time to turn this
ordinary rooftop into something that felt magical. I walked slowly out into the open space after
glancing back at Keaton as if to ask permission. The space felt too perfect to disturb. He just smiled
wide, appreciating my reaction.
There were large wooden planters that had been built up to varying heights each containing
brightly colored flowers and shrubbery. They covered nearly the entire space. In one corner I noticed
that there was an actual herb and vegetable garden with tomatoes and strawberries. I walked among
them all taking in the mix of floral scents.
"This place is amazing. Is this yours?" I asked as Keaton joined me.
"Technically it belongs to Anne, one of the ladies downstairs. She's older now, but when she was
young she always had a thing for flowers. She lived out in the suburbs until her husband died. She was
only in her early sixties then so she moved to the city and bought her apartment to be closer to her
daughters. She had it put into the contract that she could have access to the roof and plant a garden. So
she did. She used to come up here all of the time and tend to it. But now she hires someone to keep
everything going. She gave me a key to the door," he smiled.
"She gave you a key?" I asked suspiciously. Keaton was always charming his way into things.
"When she got to where she couldn't make it up here on her own I offered to help her. I bring her
up here so she can enjoy it. She's an amazing lady. We'll sit here and talk for hours. She's led a very
interesting life," he said.

I smiled at the visual it conjured in my mind. It made my heart full to hear it. I imagined that it
meant a great deal to Anne. And from the way that he spoke about it, I knew it meant a great deal to
him as well.
"So who else has a key?" I asked curiously as I leaned in to smell a dahlia that bloomed in a wave
of colors.
"Just me and Anne I guess. I've never seen anyone else up here," he shrugged. I followed him over
to a clearing towards the edge of the roof. There was an arbor with walls that were weaved with ivy
and little white flowers that dotted the greenery. They snaked their way up, creating a curtain. The top
had been left free of greenery. It would have been perfect for stargazing if you could actually see
stars in this city. Still, it was peaceful, just being able to stare up into the darkness surrounded by all of
this color. Beneath the arbor was a double chaise lounge. One of those where you could lift either side
up to recline. I smiled as I imagined the two of them up here talking. What I wouldn't give to be a fly
on the wall during those conversations.
"Come sit with me," he said as he made his way over to the clearing and sat back on the chaise. He
offered his hand out to me and I took it. I curled up against him and we both stared up into the night
sky.
"It's a little piece of magic up here," I sighed.
Keaton ran his fingers through my hair, twirling it around his fingers and combing through it
nonchalantly. It soothed me. This whole moment felt pretty close to perfect. Things with Keaton
always felt that way. The voice that kept telling me to be careful was easier and easier to shut out.
Well, it had been until we ran into leggy Miss New York with her blond hair and shorts that looked
more like bikini bottoms. The memory made me shift uncomfortably.
"What is it?" he asked, completely in tuned to my movement. He was so observant that I couldn't
get away with anything.
"Nothing, you'll think I'm being a snotty, jealous girl," I said.
He laughed, "Are you being a snotty, jealous girl?"
"A little," I admitted laughing.
"Please, I need to hear this now," he said.
I sighed, "Miss America-I-don't-wear-real-clothes-when-I-parade-down-the-street," I said. Keaton
laughed and I felt it vibrate through his chest. That reaction alone put me at ease.
"Pretty sure she was just a runner-up in Miss Rhode Island. Its a tiny state, they had to pick
someone," he said, still laughing.
"Whatever," I huffed.
He was still laughing beneath me, "You're kind of adorable when you are jealous."
I looked up at him and scowled. "Is she an ex girlfriend?" I asked, glad my voice sounded matterof-fact and not shaky and weak.
"I didn't really do girlfriends before you, Quinn," he said, his laughter gone.
"Still," I said resigned to the fact that he had slept with her. I wasn't about to ask that question. I
knew Keaton's past. I'd known about it from day one and I had accepted it, but seeing it in front of me
like that poked at my insecurities. I couldn't help it, I was human.
Keaton rolled me over until I was lying beneath him and staring up into the deep blue of his eyes.
"No one compares to this. Nothing has ever come close."
The sound of his voice was pure seduction as it caressed my body and left it humming beneath
him.
I reached up and traced his cheek with my fingers; the stubble beneath my touch was sexy. It hinted
at danger while his eyes promised safety. The contradiction of him continued to surprise me,
continued to take me under. I gladly surrendered to him.

"Do you even know how beautiful you are? How insanely sexy you are? I am drunk on you, Quinn.
Completely addicted to everything about you."
I didn't have words, so I pulled him to me and kissed him. He let the weight of his body join my
own, his hands cradling my face as he kissed me deeply. It sent need directly to my core. My hands
began to explore his body, sliding beneath his shirt so I could feel the warm, hard skin underneath.
He let out a soft moan as he ground his hips against mine. I let my hands drift higher taking his
shirt with me. He broke the kiss and helped me get rid of the fabric. I smiled at the sight of him. Hard,
tanned and cut with precision. He watched me watch him, his eyes hooded and filled with the promise.
My teeth sunk into my lip as I fought the whimper that wanted to escape. His gaze held mine as he
returned the favor with my shirt, lifting it away from my body. The breeze in the air drifted across my
bare skin, warm and sticky.
"I'm going to take you. Right here." His intensity pulled at the growing need in me. The wind
rustled through the plants that surrounded us.
His fingers found the button of my shorts and slowly released its hold and I held my breath as he
slowly tugged them down my thighs. I surrendered to him, anxious for everything he had to offer. Out
here on this rooftop, with the distant sounds of traffic and the peacefulness of this unexpected paradise
we shut everything out. Everything but the two of us. And when the sky opened up and the rain began
to slide across our skin, joining in on the movement between us, my world felt as close to perfect as I
could imagine.

I CAME OUT of the bedroom, still rubbing the towel against my hair. The apartment was dark. I was
learning that Quinn never turned on the lights. I saw the glow from the refrigerator and moved
towards her. She was wearing a white t-shirt and nothing else. Her legs teased me in the soft shaft of
light that bathed her as she searched the contents for something. She bent over, moving things among
the shelves and even though it hadn't been long since we'd come down from the rooftop, and even less
time since we had warmed ourselves in the shower until the water ran cold, I still felt the stirrings of
anticipation. The thought of those legs wrapped around me always left me wanting more.
I walked up behind her quietly and leaned back against the counter and waited. She finally emerged
with a bottle of water and stood up. Catching sight of me she jumped and let out a tiny squeak before
laughing.
"You scared me," she smiled. Fuck, her smile. It lit her up from inside. I set my towel down on the
counter and took a step towards her. Taking the bottle from her hands I unscrewed the top and took a
long drink, my gaze locked on hers. I swallowed hard then slid my tongue across my lips. I watched
her shift from foot to foot as she gripped the open door to the fridge. I held the bottle out to her and
she took it from me, taking several long drinks. My eyes drifted down her body, noticing the goose
bumps that covered her legs. I wondered how many of them belonged to the cold draft from the
fridge and how many of them belonged to me.
When she finished her drink I took it from her and put it on the counter. Neither of us spoke. The
quiet and darkness of the room didn't allow for it. I pulled her to me, one hand gripping her waist, the
other taking her hand and holding it to my chest.
"What are you doing?" she whispered. I smiled at her, brushing a kiss across her forehead.
"Shh, dance with me," I offered. She gave me a curious look before giving into my whim and
moving to the imaginary music. I loved this feeling. The stillness, the quiet--and her pressed against

me, so close that she became me. She laid her head against my chest and I felt her contented sigh
against me. It felt natural, being like this with her. It was unexpected. Together, we were unexpectedly
perfect.

THREE DAYS WERE gone too fast. Especially when we barely left the house or the bedroom. I felt
like I needed three more days, then three more after that.
Quinn was waiting until the last moment to go through the security point. I was glad; I wasn't ready
to let her go. Not at all. I pulled her to me and kissed her, slow and soft. I didn't care that we were in
the middle of the airport. I didn't care about the crowds of people pushing through each other all
around us. I was going to miss the taste of her and I was taking in as much of her as I could before she
was gone.
"Don't go. I don't want you to go," I said against her lips. My words made her smile. I ran my
tongue across her bottom lip before covering her mouth again. She made me feel like a teenager, I
didn't want to keep my hands to myself. She let out a soft moan on an exhale and my dick stiffened at
the sound. Damn this airport and these people, I wanted her. I always wanted her.
"Let's go," I said my voice gruff and thick. She looked at me surprised, but I simply took her hand
and pulled her down the busy corridor.
"Where are we going?" she asked, walking double time to keep up with me.
I didn't answer her until wed reached my destination. I stopped and smiled down at her when she
bumped into me.
"What?" she asked, still confused, still adorably sexy.
"Inside," I said.
Her eyes squinted, "Inside what?"
"Inside where. Family bathroom. Let's go."
Her eyes widened. "Youre serious?" she asked.
I opened the door to the small bathroom meant to give families and nursing mothers some privacy.
It might be a dick move to push my girlfriend inside, but ask me how many fucks I gave.
I gave her a push and then followed her inside, locking the door behind us. She stood against the
wall and gave me a shy, but amused smile. "Now what?" she asked. I took a step towards her, closing
the space that separated us. I braced a hand on either side of her head, against the cold cement bricks
of the wall.
"Now I do what I needed to do out there," I said. I leaned into her further and kissed her. I started
slow then moved so my body was pressed against hers, her back against the wall with no space to
escape.
Her hands wrapped around my neck, her fingers tugging at my hair. The sensation sent a jolt
straight to my dick, which was already throbbing against my jeans.
"Don't go. Stay here with me," I tried again.
"Okay," she said against my lips, encouraging me to go deeper, I had a feeling she'd agree to
anything right now.
"I need to touch you," I said as I ran my tongue across her throat. She sighed and I felt the shiver
that ran through her body at the promise of my words. I loved the way she responded to me. It was
sexy as hell. It made me want to find every single thing that would bring her to her knees. I wanted to
learn every part of her body and know exactly what would make her crumble beneath me. I wanted to

hear my name on her lips; I wanted to erase her thoughts, replacing them only with me and the things
that I could do to her. I wanted to own her, devour her, make her beg me for more only to then beg me
for mercy.
I continued to kiss her, long and deep as my hands moved to the button on her jeans. I slid my hand
down past the lace of her panties to where her hot core begged to be touched. I ran my fingers along
the sensitive skin, smiling when she pressed into my hand, searching for what she wanted.
I didn't make her wait. I needed to feel her just as much. I pushed a finger inside her wetness
leaning in as she moved against me, looking for more. She sighed appreciatively as I worked her
body with my digits, adding a second to my assault. Thats it, baby, take what you need, I leaned in
kissing her throat, rubbing my thumb against her clit. It didnt take her long, and she bit into my
shoulder as she cried out. I smiled, feeling her pulsing around my fingers.
Dont go. Stay with me, I said softy.
Okay, she breathed heavily against me.
I kissed her, totally taken by the dazed look in her eyes, I moved to put her clothes back in place
when her hands stopped me and she gave me a slight shake of her head. Her hand moved to my belt
and she tugged me to her.
Youre not finished, she said, her fingers moving to unbuckle the belt and unfasten the button of
my jeans. My dick turned to steel, throbbing painfully.
Quinn, I warned.
You wanted to come in here, Keaton. You started it. Finish it. She held my gaze, confident and
demanding. I swallowed hard, this side of Quinn was new.
Im not fucking you in an airport bathroom, I said. I tried to mean it, but I was already reaching
for her. She gave me a satisfied smile, knowing she had me exactly where she wanted me.
Shut up and take off your pants, she smiled.
And she said I was trouble.



LONG DISTANCE SUCKS. It feels like life exists in snapshots of time. Time together. Time apart.
Phone calls. Facetime. There is a lot of space to fill. It wasnt always the easiest thing, but we were
managing. Each phone call moved us forward, and hopefully closer to the day I would move to New
York. I couldnt wait until we didnt have to deal with the distance anymore. Until then we were a
series of conversations and stolen moments together.

"I MISS YOU." Keatons voice carried the hint of a pout that I found more than endearing.
"I miss you," I returned. I really did.
"Come to Orlando," he asked for the twentieth time in two weeks.
"Keaton," I warned. He was relentless.
I heard the sigh and the slight huff across the phone line. It made me smile.
"Just come," he said softly. "I'll make it worth your while." There was a promise in his tone and I
had no doubt that he would follow through.
"I know you would," I agreed.
"Then why do you keep saying no?" he asked.
One thing I'd learned about Keaton already was that he was a man who was used to getting exactly
what he wanted. Apparently I was trying his patience.
"I have a job," I started.
"One that doesn't even pay you," he pointed out.
"One that will get me to New York," I countered.
He sighed again, "I miss you."
I couldn't hide my smile.
"I'm not used to missing someone. It sucks," he said.
"I'll be there in a week and you can spend the entire time not missing me."
"Trust me, I plan on taking advantage of every moment you are here."
"Good. Because I'm going to want to be taken advantage of."

"HOW WAS YOUR day?" I asked.
"It sucked. How was yours?" He sounded distant and highly irritable. I had learned that moods like
this needed to be navigated with caution.

"Want to talk about it?" I asked.

"Not really," he said. I heard the pop of a top and imagined him leaned against the kitchen counter
with a bottle of beer.
I waited, not saying anything. If I knew him like I thought I did he would take two swallows of his
drink and he'd start talking again.
"I am at a total standstill today. I deleted two chapters. It's all shit. I have no idea where this book is
going and I have to have stuff to Parker next week. I have nothing," he vented.
"What about your outline?" I asked. Keaton had entire notebooks of notes and plans for each of his
books.
"The outline is shit. I need a new plan. But there's nothing. I'm completely void of any creativity,"
he moaned.
Writing woes weren't anything I could help him with. I didn't have any ideas that would help him
find his direction, but I had learned to make a great sounding board.
"Why don't we talk it out?" I suggested.
"Eh," he grumbled.
"Tell me where you're hung up, what's happening?" I pushed.
After a long pause he finally started in on the plot, rambling about pieces of the story. I added in
encouragement or questions where I could, but this was really about him talking it out for himself.
I settled in against the pillows of my bed and listened. Just the sound of his voice was sexy. It was
seduction all on its own. Even the most mundane of conversations had me feeling butterflies. He
sparked something in me. I was more than happy to listen to him go on for hours.

"YOU LEFT YOUR toothbrush here," Keaton said. It was late. I'd been out with Lily catching up on
some much needed girl time.
"I know," I yawned as I crawled under my covers.
"So you did that on purpose? he asked.
"Yep. I also left some perfume, a hairbrush and some shampoo," I said.
"You moving in?" he teased.
"Don't want you to forget me when I'm not around," I smiled.
"Not likely."
"Good, saves me from having to leave my hair dryer behind next time," I laughed.
"I kind of like having your stuff around," he said quietly. It gave me goose bumps. He always used
that quiet voice when whatever he said surprised him.
I didn't comment, afraid his admission would spook him. He was a recovering playboy after all.
Pink toothbrushes and girlie shampoo weren't the norm.
Still the comment made my heart flutter.

LONG DISTANCE SUCKED. It made my balls blue and my temper short. It should be the perfect
solution. I didn't have to worry about entertaining Quinn every day and I had tons of down time to do

whatever the hell I wanted.

But I wanted her. I wanted her hot little body beneath mine. I wanted more than a stupid phone call
each night.
Yeah, it fucking sucked. I wasn't always the most patient man and there were times when I
questioned my sanity when it came to starting this whole thing.
But then I thought about her. I imagined her smile or heard her breathy voice on the other end of
the line and I didn't care anymore. There was something about her that made me want to do it all over
again.

I WATCHED HER sleep, the curve of her bare hip, the dip of her waist. The way the sheets clung to
her thigh was the best thing to wake up to. Watching her like this, peaceful in slumber she looked like
an angel. I was completely hooked.
I've always been a go getter. I go after what I want and I get it. I wanted Quinn and I'd pushed my
way back into her life until she let me stay. Now, she was in my bed looking like a fucking goddess.
Now that I had her, now that she was here, I had no idea what I was supposed to do next.
I was falling under her spell, more every day. Falling and flailing. Falling because it was
effortless, flailing because I knew there would come a time when I would fail at being enough.
She left me feeling dazed. Ive never known how to be a boyfriend. The only thing I had going for
me was that she seemed to be happy. I didn't know what I was doing right, but I hoped I could keep
doing it.

"LET'S GO OUT to a club or something," Miles said. He was pacing the floor, bored and anxious.
We'd been at the signing table most of the day and I was exhausted. I wanted to go upstairs, take a
shower, drink a beer, and call Quinn.
"Dude, I'm tired," I said
"You're tired? Dude what's wrong with you? You are so whipped. I never thought I'd see the day
that Keaton Harris would turn down a night out to call his girlfriend." Miles was always giving me
shit about Quinn, but it was all in good fun. Honestly, I think he liked seeing me in a grown up
relationship.
"Shut it, asshole," I warned.
"Hitting a little too close to home, loverboy?" he pushed.
"You afraid you can't pick up the ladies on your own?" I pushed back.
"Right. Like you even have any game left. All you've done is mope around cause she didn't come
with you," he pointed out. I thought about that for a second. I had been irritable. Id begged her to meet
me here this weekend, but shed had some meeting she couldnt miss. So it was just me and Miles. I
wasn't having much fun either and I always had fun. Had I really become that guy who couldn't go out
and have a good time without his girl around? Had I become that pathetic?
Miles must have seen the panicked look on my face because he started to back track. Truth is he
liked Quinn a lot. "I'm jerking your chain," he said.

No, he was right. This was the problem with relationships. You lose yourself. You give up who you
were to be a we. Once you become the we you remain a solid we forever. Shit, I'd become a we.
Just because I was with Quinn didn't mean I had to shut myself up in my hotel room. I didn't have to
stop having fun because she wasn't around.
"Let's go out," I said, feeling energized at my revelation.
You're sure about this? Do you want to call and check in first?" he teased. I hated my brother.
"I'm a grown man. I dont have to check in with anyone. Let's go."
Miles chuckled, "Whatever you say, boss."

WHEN TWO PEOPLE decide to start living outside of their comfort zones there are bound to be
hiccups. Pair that with trying to do it all with thousands of miles between you and it can be even more
complicated. I liked to think that we were navigating our way through it pretty nicely.
I was learning his quirks and he was learning mine. I knew when he got moody and quiet that it was
best not to push. He knew when I got moody and quiet he needed to do the opposite. It was all about
learning to find the balance and taking the time to learn each other. I was learning to jump and he was
learning to hold on. We were opposite ends of the spectrum trying to work our way to middle ground.
It was worth it.
The way he made me feel made it all worth it.
It was new and exciting.
It was also fragile.
A lesson I learned when I glanced at my phone one morning. Keaton was at a big book signing in
Vancouver. He'd wanted me to meet him there. He'd begged me and then turned quiet and irritable
when I'd refused. He didn't get it, I had my internship and that internship was getting me closer to New
York. Closer to him. Maybe he did get it, but he didn't care. When I told him no, he hadn't spoken to
me for 24 hours.
But in the end he'd settled down. I had a trip planned, one that included an interview for a real job
in New York. It was a huge deal. And wed both agreed that was the ultimate goal.
Then I saw the photo.
Ive never been a jealous person. At least Id never been a jealous person before Keaton. It didn't
bother me to see him posing with girls or having a good time. It only made me sad not to be there
with him. I hated missing it, but it didn't make me worry about us. Even knowing his past, I felt
confident in where we were now.
Until I woke up and saw the photo of him in a hotel bar, a line of shot glasses on the table in front
of him and a scantily clad brunette sitting in his lap.
Id stared at it, a mix of emotions coursing through me. Even if it wasn't what it looked like, even
if it was innocent and there was a perfectly good reason for his face being pressed into her chest, it
still made me feel a rush of hurt and anger.
He hadn't called the night before and now I guess I knew why.
I glanced over at the clock; it was early, just after eight. It was even earlier in Vancouver. I should
let it go for now. I should cool off before I called him.
I was never good with waiting.
I pulled up the photo with the list of comments underneath, saved the link and then texted it to him. I
didn't need to add anything. If he knew anything about me, he'd know exactly what I was saying.

I STARED DOWN at my phone and saw the text from Quinn. It was a link to the story that Miles had
shown me earlier. Sometimes I really hated the internet.
Last night had been a bad idea. I realized that now. I should have just stayed upstairs like I'd
planned.
I blamed Miles. Miles and his stupid fucking mouth.
We'd been having fun and drinking, it had been completely innocent. I hadn't given any thought to
the girls that were hanging out at our table, not at all. I hadnt given any thought to the amount of
tequila I had consumed either. It had been a long lonely weekend and I had been missing Quinn. So I
was drowning my sorrows because she wasnt with me.
Honest. That's what happened.
But the picture and the caption that some random Instagrammer had tagged me in seemed to show
a whole different side to things. Even I could look at the picture, as she hugged me to her, pushing my
face against her boobs, and know it looked shady. The fact that I was laughing my ass off like a
drunken asshole didn't really make it any better.
Yeah, last night had been a bad idea. It had been just like any other night after a long weekend. And
that was the problem. It was just like any other night . . . girls, tequila and watching the sun come up.
Granted I hadn't taken anyone upstairs with me or done anything with anyone, hadn't even thought
about it, but the evidence didn't show that.
Quinn didnt know that.
All she had was a photograph and my bad reputation.
I stared at the unanswered text with a stomach full of stones. I needed to explain it to her, but I
feared my words would just come out empty.
"What's wrong with you?" Miles asked as he shuffled into the room and fell onto the couch.
"Quinn is asking me about those pictures and I don't know what to say," I admitted.
"Is she pissed?"
I shrugged, "Probably. She hasn't really said anything. She just sent me the link. She probably
wants me to hang myself by speaking first," I groaned. This would be a fight. I couldn't blame her for
being angry really, but my head was pounding and I just wasn't in the mood to deal with it yet. Maybe
it was the guilt. Maybe it was my tried and true reputation digging its feet in and refusing to answer to
anybody.
Whatever it was, it was leaving me irritated. I grumbled and grabbed a bottle of water from the
mini fridge and shuffled back to my room.
I needed to text her. No, I needed to call her. I needed to man up and face it. Shit, I didn't want to
deal with it. Not yet anyway. I downed the bottle of water, but it did nothing to hydrate me. I hadn't
been that drunk in a long time. I was getting too old for this shit. I lay back down on the bed and stared
up at the ceiling. At least it wasn't spinning anymore.
I hadn't done anything with those girls. I hadn't wanted anyone else since Quinn had come along.
But shit if she was going to believe any of that. It wouldn't matter what I said. I'd let her down and she
was going to let me know about it. I felt myself bracing for the fight, dread filling me.
I should just get it over with. Face the music, pay the piper. I groaned, sat up against the headboard
and grabbed my laptop. Might as well do this face-to-face. Maybe if she saw my face, she'd be more
willing to believe me.

I opened up Skype, hitting connect next to the picture of her pretty face and holding my breath as I
waited for her face to pop up on my screen. When she came into view the knots in my stomach began
to twist and I started to rethink my decision to have this conversation so soon after waking up. I wasn't
in the mood for this fight. I wasn't in the mood to explain myself or listen to her tell me what I fuck up
I was. I already knew all that and my head was pounding.
"So I'm guessing youre mad," I started. Even I could hear the clip in my voice, already on the
defensive for whatever she was going to throw at me.
She tilted her head in that way she did when she couldn't believe the words that were coming out of
my mouth. I usually thought it was cute. Today, not so much. "Before you start, it's not at all what it
looked like in those pictures," I said.
"So you weren't drunk in a bar with lots of scantily clad women hanging all over you last night?
That wasn't your face rubbing against that woman's tits?" she asked levelly. I hated how calm her
voice sounded.
I rolled my eyes and heard her huff in frustration. Nothing happened," I said.
"Keaton, you can't tell me you don't understand why I'm upset," she said softly.
I did understand why she was upset, but I didn't want to get into it. Did that make me an insensitive
asshole? Probably. I wasn't in the right mood to care.
"Can we not turn this into a big deal, Quinn?" I asked.
"It is a big deal. It's a big deal to me, Keaton." She said my name like it tasted bitter on her lips. I
preferred the way it fell out on a sigh, to be honest.
"I just mean that nothing happened. It was all very innocent. There is nothing to get worked up
about," I said.
"I'm really sorry that my reaction isnt working out to be convenient for you this morning," she
said.
I sighed, this was going nowhere fast.
"Look, I don't want to fight about this right now. I'm calling to tell you that nothing happened. I
wanted you to know. If you are going to berate me over it it's going to have to wait for another time
because right now I need to get some sleep," I said.
"Oh yeah? Nursing quite the hangover aren't ya? Maybe you should have made better choices last
night and this morning wouldn't be so rough," she said.
"Yeah, I could have lived without this conversation," I muttered.
"Wow," she said. It came out softly, but there was a whole lot waiting there under the surface. I sat
up straighter in bed, adjusting the pillows behind me. When the laptop wobbled on my knees I steadied
it with my hand, as I said, "That's not what I meant."
I looked back to the screen, but it had gone black, our connection lost.
Shit.

HE WAS GONE. The connection ended. Hed hung up on me. Asshole. I sat there fuming as I stared at
the blank screen where he'd been. It was probably for the best. The conversation was going nowhere. I
was still angry and he was still defensive.
Honestly, I was hurt more than anything. Hurt that he'd put himself in that position and hadn't
thought about my feelings. I realized that this had been a normal night out for him, but that was
before. He'd told me that he wanted this to work, and for that to happen he had to try. This didnt feel

like he was trying.

It wasn't like I was telling him not to go out and have fun. I wasn't the kind of girl who wanted to tie
him down and keep him from having fun while we were apart, but geesh, have some respect for the
girl back home, ya know? Was that so wrong? Was it too much to ask that I not have to see pictures of
him feeling up some bimbo while he's drunk out of his mind? Do I need Instagram to tell me that I am
a foolish idiot for trusting him? It hurt that he was trying to brush those feelings aside and not take
any responsibility for them.
My computer screen flashed again with an incoming call. It was him. I wasn't sure I wanted to
answer it. But I knew if I didn't I would just let it fester and build into something even worse.
I accepted the call.
"I didn't mean to hang up on you," he said, his eyes apologetic.
Well, at least there was that.
"I don't want to fight," I said.
"You sure about that?" he grumbled. Man, he was in a shitty mood. It sparked my own irritation
again.
"I just wanted to talk, that's all," I said. I studied his face. He really did look like he was dealing
with a monster hangover. He could barely open his eyes all the way. But somehow he still oozed sex.
It seeped out of his pores. His hair stuck up in all kinds of directions, and there was a pillow crease on
the side of his face. If I wasn't so irritated with him I'd probably engage him in some awesome
morning Skype sex. Sigh.
"No, you wanted to scold me and tell me all the ways that I fucked up last night," he pointed out. I
take back the Skype sex thing.
"You're being an asshole," I said.
"Its just who I am, baby," he muttered, leaning back against the pillows at his back and shutting his
eyes. He wasn't even going to attempt to have a real conversation with me.
"No it's not. If it were, I wouldn't waste my time," I said. He sighed and stared at the camera.
He laughed, a hard sarcastic laugh and it pricked at my skin.
"If you aren't going to talk to me about it then you might as well hang up. I thought we could have
an adult conversation about it, but apparently you aren't up for that. I guess I expected too much," I
spat out.
"Maybe you did. I'm not one of your book boyfriends, Quinn. I'm not perfect. I'm going to screw
up. If you are looking for perfect then you are looking in the wrong place. That is never going to be
me," he huffed. I watched as his nostrils flared and fumed. Whoa -- I wasn't even sure where this was
coming from. Had I ever made him think that I was looking for some fictional version of him? Did I
put that kind of pressure on him, on us?
"I've never asked you to be perfect. All I ever asked was that you respect me and this relationship
by not whoring yourself out whenever you get a chance. It's like you get off on all of the attention. If I
wasn't going to be enough for you then you should have never come to find me. You should have just
left it all alone like we'd agreed. You're the one who showed up on my doorstep. I let you go. You
could have kept your old lifestyle and forgotten all about me. You pushed me. So don't blame me for
how you feel right now," I said.
"You're right. I did show up. Guess I should have made sure you weren't carrying a lifetime pass to
the crazy train first," he said.
I sat back in my chair and stared at him; his words hitting me hard before seeping into every cut on
my skin.
"The crazy train?" I asked.
"What else do you call it? Jealous, suspicious, nagging? You wanna pick one?" he said. He was so

hard and defensive. But there was more to it than that and I knew him well enough now to recognize it.
That didn't mean he wasn't pissing me off. Because right now, no matter what the real reason was for
the way he was talking to me, I wanted to kick him in the balls.
"Why do you have to be such an asshole? Does that make you feel better? Make you feel safe?
Maybe if you push me away or screw up enough I'll walk away and you wont have to deal with
anything real?
"Don't try to analyze me, Quinn; I'm not in the mood." He ran his hands through his hair,
frustrated.
"Well, I'm not in the mood for you trying to bully me into apologizing or feeling guilty for being
upset about that picture. Maybe you think it's not a big deal, but it is to me. And the fact that you can't
understand why says a lot," I said. I hated that we were having this argument over Skype. Everything
felt so impersonal and yet every word seemed to carry another layer of hurt on impact. But this was
us. This was all that we had. Stolen moments and a handful of Skype dates. I'd been okay with it
knowing that soon I'd be in New York and we could be a normal couple. Only we'd never be normal.
There would always be trips to take, trips that would put him in the line of temptation or that would
lead to the kind of internet fodder that we were fighting over today.
I'd been right to be cautious. I'd been right to set those boundaries. I had wanted to keep that time in
San Francisco special, now reality was clouding every memory and turning it all into nothing. I was
watching it all fade away like the fog, right before my eyes. And at this moment, I wasn't so sure that I
didn't want to let it go.
We both sat behind our respective computers, staring at screens, but not seeing each other.
"I dont want to keep doing this," I said finally. I didnt want to fight with him.
"No one is asking you to," he spit back.
"Are you kidding me right now?" I choked back the angry tears that were threatening me.
"I'm not going to beg you, Quinn. You want out? You want to call it quits? Fine. I'm never going to
measure up and be your perfect guy. You're fooling yourself if you think I am," he said.
"Is that really what you think of me? Because if it is, youre right, you should just end it," I said,
my voice going quiet. The reality of my question and the answer that I waited for had me feeling sick
to my stomach.
He took a long time to answer me. I watched his face for some sign, some expression to show me
what he was thinking, but he revealed nothing.
"Maybe I'm not the guy for you," he said simply.
"Fuck you," I said, closing the top to my laptop ending the call. I stared at it, in disbelief. Had he
really just broken up with me over Skype? Over a photo? Or rather because he didn't want to talk
about a photo?
No. It was more than that. This was about the fact that he didn't want to change. He didn't want to
have to answer to me or to anyone. He didn't want to have to think about what he did or how it would
affect anyone else. He was a selfish bastard and he had no desire to be anything different.
I was the fool. I had believed him. All of his stupid words. That was my first mistake. The man
wrote fiction for God's sake. He was a master of lies. He never promised me fairytales. In fact, he'd
pretty much admitted to me that he didn't believe in them. I had just been a distraction. A story he was
trying to figure out.
I waited for him to call me back.
He didn't.
It was just as well. I didn't want to talk to him anyway.
"Are you okay?" Lily asked from the doorway of my room.
I shrugged.

"Want to tell me about it?" she encouraged.

"He's an asshole," I said as my fingers worried with the fringe of a throw pillow.
"Oh. Okay then. He's an asshole. Why the new nickname?" she asked.
I sighed, "Fine, he's not an asshole. But he's behaving like one and it's pretty much the same thing."
"What happened?"
I pulled up the page on my phone and handed it to her. I watched as her eyes widened at the photo
then moved side to side as she scrolled through the comments.
"Was this last night?" she asked.
"Yep."
"And you just talked to him about it?" she asked.
"Yep."
"Were you this wordy with him?" she said with a soft chuckle.
"I think he just broke up with me." My voice broke on the words, just saying them out loud made
me want to crumble. How had things gone so wrong so fast?
"No way," Lily said, sounding as surprised as I felt.
I relayed the conversation the best I could, but it was already becoming foggy. I kept waiting for
my phone to ring, waiting for him to take it all back. Maybe he wasn't the guy for me. But I wasn't
ready to let him make that decision for us.
"What if he doesn't call me back? What if that's it? What if its just done?" I asked. I needed her to
talk me off the ledge. I searched her expression for an answer to the questions that were threatening to
send me into a panic.
"He's hung-over and he knows he screwed up. After he cools off he'll talk," she offered.
Do you think I was unfair to him? Judging him on his past instead of how hes been with me? I
asked, feeling guilt start to gnaw at my insides.
Lily gave me a sad smile, I dont know. I think you both have to let go of his past and find a way
to trust each other.
"I don't want to lose him," I admitted.
She smiled and gave me a hug. "Let's go get some breakfast. We'll get distracted with mimosas. It
will help you see everything a little clearer," she promised.
I gave her a weak smile. "I like mimosas."
"That's my girl. Get dressed. Keaton Harris doesn't get to ruin this day," she said. She pulled me to
my feet and as I started to the bathroom towards the closet to find some clothes she grabbed my phone
and left it on my desk. When I questioned her with the raise of an eyebrow she said, "We're leaving
everything else here."



I AM AN ASSHOLE.
There was a heaviness in my chest like Id never felt until now. It made it hard to breathe. It's been
hours and I've been sitting here in the dark, staring at the ceiling trying to figure out what happened.
Her voice keeps echoing in my head; her face haunting me every time that I close my eyes.
I screwed up. The words I'd used, the things that I'd implied, they were cruel. The memories are
suffocating me. I keep picking up the phone to call her, to apologize or try to explain, but I can't hit
the call button.
I'm also a coward.
I dont know what to say to her. I've already said too much. Words. Stupid, shitty words. I wish I
could take them all back. I wish I could replace them with the words she deserved to hear this
morning. I wish I hadnt given here anything to worry about in the first place.
Shed seen me from the beginning. I'd done my best to convince her that her first impressions were
wrong. And for a while Id even started to believe it. But now, having treated her the way that I had, I
knew better. I was exactly what she'd thought. I was worse, because I'd convinced her that I was
different.
I wasn't different.
But she made me want to be.
I had to fix this. Now that my headache had faded and I wasn't feeling quite so vile, the reality of
this morning hung heavy all around me.
I stared down at my phone, a photo of us pulled up and staring back at me. Even in a photograph
she took my breath away. How had I let her believe that I could walk away from that? How could I
have dismissed her like she didn't matter?
Fuck, I'm such an asshole.
I'd let the entire day pass without making any move at all.
I couldn't let her fall asleep thinking those things. I couldn't let her think we were over.
Unless she wanted it to be over? What would I do then?
I pulled up her number and hit send before I could question it further. It was time to grovel.
"Hi," she greeted me, her voice hesitant.
"Im sorry," I said. First and foremost she needed to hear those words, because I really was sorry. I
heard her soft sigh and held my breath.
"You hurt me," she said softly. I could hear the pain there, the way her voice faltered on the words
as if she were holding back tears. It hit hard, three words that ripped through me like shrapnel. It took
my breath and stopped it short. Her honesty a mirror I couldn't ignore.
"I know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Quinn." My voice cracked, heavy with the pressure of my heart. I
wasn't used to apologizing. I wasn't used to admitting wrongs or feeling them so deeply. She didn't say
anything. I knew she was sorting it out, but her silence was agony.
Im sorry, too, she said finally. My heart stuttered.
What? I asked.
"I never meant to put that kind of pressure on you. To feel perfect, she said softly. Her words were

like a punch to the gut. Of all the horrible things Id said to her, shed taken it and made it about her.
She was taking the blame. I cursed the distance and my inability to pull her into my arms.
I let out a breath, QuinnI let the sentence fall unsure what to say. Shed taken me off guard with
her apology.
WaitJust let me say what I need to say first, she said.
Yeah, okay, I said. I closed my eyes, lying back on the bed in an effort to stop the room from
spinning. This fighting and making up stuff was hard as shit. I heard her take another deep breath and
I knew shed been practicing this conversation in her head all day. The thought had me more than a
little worried. Quinn in logic mode didnt bode well for me.
Im not trying to take away your fun. And I dont want you to feel like I dont trust you. I never
want to be the burden that you left back home.
Quinn, I never, I interrupted.
Im not finished, she said, cutting me off. I shut up. My reaction this morning might not have
been convenient and it might not have been the cool girlfriend thing to do, but it was real. And it
wasnt just about trust. It was more that I felt like you werent making us important. You were just
slipping into your party role without giving us a second thought. Without giving me a second thought.
Or about how I would feel. And it hurt because I know I would never want to put you in a situation
like that, where you had to see me draped over some other guy, drunk out of my mind. Think about it,
Keaton, how would you have reacted had the situation been reversed? she asked.
I couldnt even answer her, because she was right. Id have lost my mind.
Im sorry I judged you on your past. But Im not sorry for reacting the way I did. I reacted
because I care about you and about us.
Youre right. I fucked up. And I didnt know how to fix it, I said, my voice came out sounding
rough.
Did you mean what you said? About wanting to end it? she asked quietly.
No. I was just being cruel. Trying to beat you to it I guess. I dont want to lose you. I know I hurt
you, baby. It kills me. I want to fix it. I just, I dont know how.
Her silence was killing me. The truth was I didn't know how to do any of this. I was good with the
easy stuff, not so much the work that relationships require. It's why Quinn threw me for a loop. Half
of my heart was ready to jump in and work to be everything she needed or deserved. The other half
knew what a selfish prick I was and was just waiting for the best time to run.
"Say something," I urged.
"I'm still sorting it all out," she admitted. Her honesty held my chest in a vice grip.
"I know I'm not easy to be with sometimes. I'm moody, I'm selfish and I can be completely
preoccupied. I don't know how to do this, Quinn, but I'm trying. I want to try." I waited through more
silence.
"Okay," she said finally.
"Okay?" I asked, just needing her to reassure me.
"Okay. But you have to talk to me next time. I can deal with a lot of shit, Keaton, but not the way
you treated me today. We're going to fight. We're going to disagree. Don't shut me out when we do,"
she said.
"Okay," I offered back. It was all I could get past the lump in my throat.
"So, tell me about your trip," she said. And just like that the storm had passed. I settled back against
my headboard and told her everything. The way I should have from the beginning.



TODAY WAS A big day. Huge. I had two interviews and I was pretty sure I might vomit before they
started. I was hoping the vomit would come first. Somehow I doubted puking in the trashcan during
was going to win me any points. I was just so nervous. It's normal I guess. You leave college thinking
anything is possible and then you step out into the real world and realize it's not nearly as rosy as you
had hoped.
Real life is scary. Being a grown up, making grown-up decisions and becoming a real member of
society with actual responsibility was down right terrifying if you really stopped to think about it.
Maybe that was my problem; I needed to stop thinking about it.
"Babe, are you going to puke?" Keaton asked me. I was sitting on the edge of the bed, my hands on
my knees, staring straight ahead and taking deep breaths. In. Out. At the sound of his voice I looked up
and met his eyes. That just caused my breath to stop all together. He leaned against the doorjamb of
the bathroom doorway wearing only a towel. I'm not sure I'd ever get used to seeing him that way. He
was beautiful. My eyes lingered on his chest, the well sculpted lines, the firm, taut skin that begged to
be touched, kissed, and worshiped. The way he felt when he moved over my body, the way he arched
as my nails moved along his back, the weight of him as he collapsed against me, spent.
I heard his soft chuckle and my gaze moved back to his face, focusing in on the amused look there.
"Well, I think the fear of puke is gone for the moment," he said moving towards me. "But, fuck,
Quinn, you look so goddamn sexy when you get that hungry look in your eyes." He moved across the
room deliberately and I had barely taken a breath when he had me pushed back onto the unmade bed,
kissing me as I fell.
This was the perfect distraction to my worry. Maybe I could take him with me and when I started to
feel nervous he could grab me up and do this. That wouldn't be weird. I'm sure that kind of thing
happened all the time. I laughed a little at the thought and Keaton pulled back to look down at me.
"Are you seriously laughing at me?" he asked. His towel had slipped away from his hips and I slid
my fingers across his hips and gave his ass a squeeze.
"No, I was just thinking how nice it would be if I could take you with me today and when I got
nervous and wanted to puke you could kiss me and make it all go away," I said, smiling up at him.
"You want to take me with you?" he mused.
"Everywhere. Do you have plans? I'm going to need you at my beck and call," I said.
He pretended to think about it seriously. "What happens if you get nervous in the middle of the
interview and I have to come in to distract you and I start kissing your neck," he said demonstrating
the way he would run his mouth along my skin from my shoulder up to my ear. "And you get so
turned on that you make that little moan that you do? Because we both know that when you make that
little moan I have no control over what I do next. I will have to take you right there on the desk of
some editor. Do you think that would help or hurt your chances?" he asked as he continued to kiss me
along my collarbone.
"That depends," I sighed.
"On?" he asked, his mouth moving lower to kiss the cleavage above my cami.
"On if she gets to see your ass. Because if she gets to see your ass then I'm sure that I'd be shoe in

just for the show," I said.

"You want your new boss to see my ass?" he asked, stopping to look at me with faux shock.
"Hey, if it gets me the job," I teased giggling.
"Oh is that how it is?" he asked, grinding into me. I could feel him, hard against my sleep shorts. I
pushed up into him, wanting to feel him move against me, to feel the friction there. His teasing kisses
were leaving me wanting. The moan fell out on a sigh as he pushed against me.
"Now you've done it," he said, pushing my hands up over my head. He gave me a stern look,
daring me to move them before moving his large hands across my stomach and pushing the top up
and over my head.
"I have to get ready. I can't be late," I protested weakly.
"You should have thought about that before you let that sexy little moan escape. I warned you, I
can't control myself. It's your own fault. You did this. You're mine now." He left my hands above my
head, instructing me to keep them there and then he ran his hands across my body until he reached the
tiny shorts. "These are going to need to go," he said. I loved when he was teasing. I loved that he could
be playful and passionate at the same time. Yeah, Keaton Harris was most definitely the best kind of
distraction.

I WALKED OUT of my interview feeling pretty good. Somehow, I'd managed to hold on to my
nerves and form words that actually went together in meaningful sentences. There'd been a good
rapport with the group I'd interviewed with and it felt like a great place to start my career. Now I just
had to wait to see if they agreed.
I stepped out into the harsh sunlight, shielding my eyes. As soon as I was able to focus I saw him,
leaned against a street sign with his hands in his pockets, casual, yet somehow also looking like he
was posing for a magazine shoot. I'd guess Peoples Fifty Most Beautiful People or Sexiest Man
Alive. I think he could win both. I smiled, it overtook me as I ran into his arms.
"You waited," I sighed taking in his scent. If I could bottle it, I'd be set for life.
"Of course I waited, silly girl, where else was I going to go?" He kissed the top of my head and I
felt warmth spread all the way down to my toes. "So, how did it go? Did they offer you the job right
away?" he asked.
I laughed, "Pretty sure it doesn't work that way."
"They should have. Idiots," he teased.
"It went well. I liked them. It seems like a really nice company. We'll wait and see. I'll keep at it until
someone says yes."
"I want them to say yes right now, so you can just stay here," he said quietly. I rested my chin
against his chest and looked up at him. He gave me a soft smile.
"Me too," I admitted. It was hard when each visit had a definitive end. Each beginning, as happy as
it was started a timer; so each moment was racing against the end, against the buzzer. I couldn't wait
until we could exist without the constant clock. I couldn't wait to be with him whenever I wanted and
not worry about having to leave.
"Let's walk, we can go get some lunch or something," he said, offering me his hand. I slid mine
into it and we started down the busy street. I didn't even mind the hustle that existed around us, because
when I was walking with him it felt like it was just us.
After lunch I had Keaton take me to one of the farmer's markets so I could pick up a few things.

Keaton had mentioned that he needed to get a little bit of writing done. I knew he hated to do it while I
was here, but he had deadlines to meet. I was fine with it. Honestly, I was excited at the idea of taking
over his kitchen and making us dinner. I grabbed some fresh veggies and some homemade bread and
we started back to the apartment.
"So when you move here are you going to make me dinner all the time?" he asked as we loaded
into the elevator.
"Depends on how nice you are," I shrugged.
"Nice? Do you like it when I'm nice?"
I threw him a flirty look. And his lip curled into a mischievous grin.
"Stop your scheming," I warned.
"What scheming?" he asked innocently.
"You think I don't know what that look means?" I asked.
"Tell me," he said.
The elevator opened in front of us and I moved past him without giving him a glance. I heard him
snicker behind me. I stood next to his door and watched as he shifted the bags in his arms as he stalked
towards me. That was the only thing I could think to call it. He looked like a predator. A sexy domestic
predator. Only he could look so sexy and in control carrying groceries.
I watched as he unlocked the door and pushed it open for me to enter. He followed me into the
kitchen and set the bags onto the counter. I set to taking things out of the bag, but squealed when I felt
strong arms wrap around my waist.
"You haven't answered my question," he growled as his mouth fell to my throat. His hands gripped
my hips, digging in and pulling me back against him.
"Are you trying to distract me?"
"Depends on if it's working," he admitted.
I laughed and turned towards him so he could kiss me properly. His mouth was warm as it brushed
across my lips before kissing me softly. He was slow, taking time to provide me his full attention. The
man had skills.
"Have I told you how sexy I think it is that you are making me dinner?" he asked, his lips pressed
just beneath my ear.
"Oh, well then I'm going to have to get domestic more often, I said.
"I should lay you across this counter right now," he said. I felt the electricity shoot through me at
his suggestion. His hands moved to my face, a palm on each cheek and he stared at me with that
suggestive gaze that always left me reeling.
He moved closer and I readied myself for what was coming next.
He kissed my nose and stepped back suddenly, "But I have to write and you have to cook . . . so
maybe some other time." He started to move away and head down the hall. I heard his chuckle as I
stood in a dazed silence.
I turned just before he disappeared from sight. "This is what you call being nice?" I called out. He
turned to throw me one of his famous Keaton Harris smiles. "You suck," I finished.
I heard his laughter fade down the hall. If this was a glimpse at my future I was more than ready to
sign up.

KEATON'S KITCHEN WAS a dream. Especially from what I'd heard about New York apartments. I

was pretty sure wherever I ended up in the city it wouldn't look like this. I turned on some music and
set to making dinner. I had decided on an old recipe that my grandma had taught me to make when I
was little.
Once I had everything in the oven and a salad made and in the fridge I glanced around the kitchen
unsure what to do next. Keaton was still writing and I didn't want to disturb him. Even the dishes were
loaded in the dishwasher already. Domestic bliss had taken me all of forty-five minutes.
Grabbing the trash I headed down the hall to the trash chute. It would always be weird for me to
stuff my bag of garbage into a hole in the wall. It felt wrong. On my way back to the apartment I
waved at a neighbor as the elevator stopped to collect him. .He gave me a reluctant wave in return,
probably wondering who the overly happy, barefoot girl was.
I had a bounce in my step as I made my way back down the hall. Today had been perfect. It was
simple and normal, without frills or over-the-top moments. I loved that most. These were the
moments that I craved. I was practically humming when I reached the door. I stopped humming when I
hit my head against said door when it refused to open.
It was locked.
Shit. It must have locked automatically when I'd shut it behind me. I knocked and waited. Keaton
would laugh at me for this. I'd never live it down. I leaned in, my ear pressed to the door, to listen for
footsteps. There was nothing. I knocked again. Louder. Still nothing.
I patted my pants pocket, looking for my phone. I could just call him and tell him to come let me
in. He probably couldn't hear me all the way in his office. Shit. My phone was on the kitchen counter
where I'd been using it for my recipe. I huffed out a frustrated breath, made a fist and began to bang
on the door. Why didn't the man have a doorbell? I hit it hard, hoping he would hear me.
He didn't.
My happy mood quickly dimmed and I just slid down the door and sat with my head resting against
the wood behind me. Surely he would notice that I was gone at some point.
He didn't.
Eventually, my domestic bliss was all but a distant memory. Dinner would be ruined. Hell, the
kitchen could burst into flames and there was no guarantee that he'd even notice it.
I'm not sure how long I sat outside his front door. Long enough to smell the casserole burning.
Long enough that I had lost all patience. My frustration was a slow burn, waiting to be set free.
God help me if he was in the zone. There was no telling how long I'd be out here. Maybe if the
sprinklers went off hed come looking for me.
I fell backwards as the door opened behind me. I looked up at the confused smirk on my
boyfriend's face. Even though I was mad I couldn't help but notice how sexy he looked right now. His
hair was sticking up all over, where he'd been running his hands through it.
"Why are you sitting in the hallway?" he asked.
I scurried to get on my feet. "I took the trash to the chute and I got locked out," I said. I moved past
him into the apartment.
"Why didn't you knock?" he asked, shutting the door behind me.
I glared at him, I couldn't help it. "Huh, why didnt I think of that? I scoffed. He cocked his head,
watching me curiously. I rolled my eyes, I did knock. I banged on the door like crazy. You didn't hear
me."
"Oh. Sorry. I had my headphones in," he shrugged. I huffed and turned to head into the kitchen. He
followed close behind me.
"Is something burning?" he asked, oblivious.
I picked up the pace and opened the oven door to smoke. I pulled out the pan, its contents no longer
recognizable.

"I'm guessing that's not what it was supposed to look like?" Keaton chuckled as he looked over my
shoulder.
"It's ruined."
"It's no big deal. We'll order a pizza or something," he said.
I turned towards him, my annoyance flaring. "I don't want a stupid pizza. I wanted to make dinner. I
wanted to do something special and now it's ruined. You didn't even know I was gone. I sat in that
hallway for over an hour. You were so caught up in your writing you didn't even smell the smoke.
What's wrong with you," I yelled, letting out my frustration.
I didn't miss the smirk that he was working really hard at trying to hide "It's not funny," I warned.
"It's a little bit funny," he said, his smile threatening to overtake him again
I held my glare, hanging onto my frustration and disappointment. He took a step towards me and
pulled my arms away from my chest where they were stubbornly crossed.
"Stop it. I'm mad at you," I said.
"You're mad at me?" he asked.
I nodded.
"Because you got locked out?" he asked pressing his body against mine.
Another nod.
"And I didn't hear you? And dinner was ruined?"
"I wanted to do something nice," I said, allowing myself a small pout.
He wrapped his arms around me, "I'm sorry I didn't hear you and Im sorry that it ruined dinner.
I'll get a new lock or a new door." He said kissing the top of my head.
I couldn't help but laugh a little, my anger deflating and the silliness of the moment taking over.
"Better?" he asked.
"Sorry I almost burned your place down," I said grudgingly.
"Eh, I'd just get another one," he soothed. I laughed, my anger falling away. His embrace had the
power to diffuse it instantly.
"So, pepperoni?" he asked.
"You might want to get extra cheese," I sighed, leaning into him.
"Anything you want, baby."
We ate our pizza in bed and it was the best dinner I'd ever had.

WHEN I WOKE up the room was dark and the sheets around me were cold. Keaton must have been
gone for awhile. I stretched, letting the sleep release my eyes. I stole a glance at the clock; it was
nearly four in the morning. My feet hit the cold floor, sending a cascade of goose bumps across my
skin. Keaton's shirt was still on the floor where it had fallen earlier. I slid it on, clasping the middle
buttons closed.
I padded into the next room, half expecting to see him on the couch watching the 24 hour news
channel, but the living room was empty, lights off, and everything was still. Then I noticed the soft
glow coming from his office. I walked slowly down the hall and peered into the room. It was dim, lit
only by the lamp and the laptop on his desk. But I could see him, cast in the soft glow, chest bare and
head leaned back.
As my eyes focused in the dim light I could see him clearer. My heart began to thump erratically,
my breath catching as it tried to exit my body as I watched him from across the room, oblivious to my

presence, lost in his own moment. His teeth sunk into his lower lip and his hand moved low across his
body as he gripped his length with slow steady strokes. I didn't want to speak, I was too mesmerized
watching the way his hand moved and the way his face showcased the pleasure of his touch. It wasnt
the normal rush urging him to release, but like he was lost in something else.
The soft moan fell from my lips before I could stop it. Keaton lifted his head, his eyes finding
mine and pinning me to my place in the doorway.
"Quinn." It was almost a growl, as if I'd invaded whatever fantasy was filling his head.
"I woke up alone," I said softly. He continued to touch himself and it had my insides turning in
delicious circles.
"Come here."
I walked towards him slowly. It was as if I was being pulled. His eyes never left mine, they
commanded me, they owned me.
I stood in front of him and his free hand slipped up my bare thigh. I heard a sultry breath escape
him. "I was writing, thinking about you, writing about all of the things that I wanted to do to you." His
voice was gravel and silk all at the same time. Its roughness left me feeling raw, while its caress
turned me warm and aching.
"Take off the shirt," he growled. I swallowed hard as my fingers moved to the buttons, releasing
them from their hold. I let the material slide from my shoulders and it fell to the floor leaving me
completely naked before him as he watched me like a hungry animal.
"You're fucking beautiful, Quinn. Your skin needs to be touched. It needs to be tasted." His words
came out low and slow, seducing me completely. His fingers traced my leg up from my knee and
landing at the top of my legs where he ran his thumb across my sensitive flesh, brushing over my clit
and sending fireworks through my body. He had barely touched me and I was already set to come
unglued. I wasn't sure if I could stand much longer, now that his fingers were on me, moving over me
in measured strokes, I was weak, my mind scattered as the pressure within my body began to build. He
pressed soft kisses to my stomach, his tongue tracing a path to my hip where his teeth nipped. My
body coiled with sensation. He pulled me closer to him, casting a slow sultry look up at me and I
wasnt sure if it was a warning or a promise, I didnt have time to decide before his mouth joined the
wicked dance of his fingers and his tongue orchestrated a whole goddamned symphony. I felt my
knees begin to buckle but he held me up, refusing to let me fall, never losing focus. I could hear the
sounds as they tumbled from my lips, begging him for something, the ache inside intense. I gripped
his shoulders for balance, tugged his hair in need and nearly cried as I felt him smile against me.
You want to come so badly dont you, baby?
I whimpered my response. I love the way you tremble against me, the way you beg for me to
make you feel good. I want to make it feel good, he said as he kissed my thigh. "But I need to be
inside you, Quinn. I need to hear my name on your lips. I need to make you come hard around my
dick. I need to fuck you. Now. Here. Hard across this desk."
He stood and his hands found my face as he pulled me tight against him and my breath caught at
the roughness of his embrace. I was so turned on I didnt think I could take much more of his teasing.
I needed him desperately. He slid his thumb into my mouth, and I sucked it, tasting the saltiness of my
own desire on his skin. I bit down on the padded flesh with frustration to have him.
He replaced his thumb with his mouth as he kissed me deep and hungrily. It was good that he was
holding me up because I'd nearly lost the ability to do it on my own. When he broke the kiss he turned
me so that my back was against his torso. I sunk against him as he ran his hands down along my body,
his throaty growl in my ear.
He moved his boxers over his hips and then kicked them away and I could feel him, hard and ready
at my back. I ached to have him fill me. I was nothing but sensation and need. He hugged me to him,

his lips warm on the side of my neck, his fingers teasing my swollen clit.
"You consume me," he said. "Completely consume me." His hand moved, gently pushing me
towards the desk. I gripped the wood frame, waiting for him to take me. I needed him to take me. I
needed the feel of him stretching me. I felt the warmth of his tongue as it traced my spine, the
dampness it left behind sending a shiver through me.
I was just about to beg when he finally gave me what he'd been promising. His thrust was fast and
deep and it slammed me into the desk. But he gripped me and pulled me to him, he was in control of
this moment and I was happy to be at his mercy. He pushed into me, finding a steady and punishing
rhythm. His fingers pressed into my hips, hard and possessive and I was sure that Id wear the marks
of him tomorrow. I could feel the build deep within me, clawing its way to the surface with exquisite
precision.
He pulled me up and to him, hugging me against his body, and when he gently tugged at my hair,
pulling my head back so he could kiss my neck I felt the first explosion ricochet through my body. I
would have fallen, but he wasn't done with me. His arm wrapped tighter around me as he continued to
grind into me. Youre fucking perfect. You feel so good, when you squeeze my cock, I fucking lose
it, Quinn. I cant get enough of you, he said as he moved against me, so deep and so steady that the
second orgasm was coming fast. I could barely get a breath as I panted through my cries. I called out
his name, feeling as if I might split in two as the wave of ecstasy rolled over me. This time he fell
with me and I felt him jerk within me. I couldnt hold on anymore, my legs were worthless.
Keaton slowly loosened his grip and we drifted down towards the floor. Luckily the room was
outfitted with a fancy area rug. It was soft enough that I was contemplating staying here for the rest of
the night. I rolled to my back trying to catch my breath. He followed covering me, his slick skin
against my own. He kissed my shoulder, my throat and I hummed with contentment.
"Are you okay? he asked. His words were raspy as he still fought to even out his breathing.
Im perfect, I said. I could seriously sleep in an instant.
Ill say, he smiled kissing my shoulder. I'd say that I'm sorry for attacking you, but we both
know Id be lying."
I laughed "Remind me to interrupt your writing more often," I smiled. He propped his head on his
hand and stared down at me, pushing back the hair from my face.
"You do make quite the muse," he smiled.
"Lucky me for falling for the man with the imagination."
"Oh I have plenty of imagination. We'll just have to see if you can keep up," he teased. It broke the
intensity that we had just shared and brought us back to earth.
Staring up into his beautiful face I felt like the luckiest person around. This man owned me. Every
part of me belonged to him and I wasnt even sure if he knew it. It didnt matter. I knew it. I felt the
difference. Somewhere along the way Id stopped trying to figure it out and Id just let myself be
happy. I didnt have to think about it.
What are you thinking about? he asked, placing soft kisses across my body. I stared up at the
ceiling and smiled. I wasnt about to tell him the truth.
I was thinking how I just got a firsthand answer to Lilys questionyou do get turned on writing
sexy scenes. I started to laugh as he groaned and rolled away from me. I was still laughing when he
got to his feet and offered me a hand to pull me to my feet.
You suck, he smiled as he pulled me close to him and kissed my nose.
I smiled up at him, his blue eyes dancing with mischief. I was also thinking that you make me
really happy, I confessed.
Yeah? he asked.
I nodded.

He brushed the hair from my face and took in a slow breath, Me too, baby.



HAVE YOU EVER seen that movie, When Harry Met Sally? There is this line at the end that always
gets me. "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of
your life to start as soon as possible." I totally understood where Harry was coming from. While I
wasn't exactly ready to run down the aisle with Keaton, I did know that I wanted to be with him. I
wanted to be in New York.
We talked a lot about what that new normal was going to look like. Everyday dinners, walks
around the park, and taking each other for granted. Meaning we would have time, time to waste and
enjoy without the watching a clock.
Distance was hard. If I didn't have a plan to end the torture I'd never make it. But I did have a plan.
Any day now my phone would ring and I'd have a job and a new start.
Keaton thought I should just make the move now. He said it would make interviewing easier and I
could get settled in the city. What he meant was I could settle in with him.
But I didn't want to do that. My move to New York, while made completely better by the fact that
my hot-as-hell boyfriend lived there, wasn't about him. It was about me. It was about my career and
my future and I needed it to be independent of everything else.
He didn't understand my decision. He was impatient. I got it. I was impatient too.
I was falling hard for him. Or more accurately, I'd fallen hard for him. There was no question
about it, the fall had been swift and hard and I was completely in.
I was in love with Keaton. I was sure of it. I was so sure of it that I had to fight to not let the words
spill out of my mouth. Cause they wanted to. They threatened to bubble up and tumble out at any given
moment.
But I knew I was on delicate ground. I didnt doubt his feelings for me, not for an instant, but I did
doubt his readiness to accept them with universally accepted phrases like I love you and forever. He
may make a living selling dreams like that, but they didnt come so easy to him in real life.
Hed only mentioned it the one time, back in California on our first date, but it had stuck with me.
Im not even sure if he would remember telling me. But Id filed it away and had been very mindful of
it ever since. It didnt scare me to know that he didnt believe in fairytale endings. Not really. It simply
reminded me of where wed started. Back then, in the safety of our temporary arrangement it hadnt
mattered that he didnt believe in love. After all, I didnt believe in being spontaneous. We had both
been trying it on.
Now, months later, spontaneity wasnt so scary to me, so I had to believe that someday maybe love
wouldnt be so scary for him. Maybe it was a long shot. It didnt matter. Because I was happy. I was in
love with him and for now that was enough for me.
I walked through apartment, shedding my sweater and kicking off my boots. Make yourself at
home, sweetheart, Keaton laughed as he set my bag down.
Dont mind if I do, I teased as I sauntered into the kitchen to find a glass of water. I made sure to
put an extra sway in my hips because I knew he was watching me. It felt so good to be back here with
him. It had been two weeks since Id seen him, but these days the time apart seemed to last forever. I
grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and took a long sip, my eyes focused on Keaton as he

moved across the room to join me. Man, Id missed him. Just having him in the same space put me at
ease. It made my whole world feel easier.
I got you flowers. Did you see? he asked, his head nodding to the massive bouquet of white
daisies sitting on the counter. They were beautiful. I quirked an eyebrow up at him as he leaned across
the kitchen island towards me.
Daisies? You sure those arent for your other girlfriend? Pretty sure I like tulips, I teased leaning
across the counter to meet him halfway.
He smiled, I know. And I thought about getting you tulips. Then I remembered someone telling
me how they only last a week; seems like a shame for something so beautiful to be gone so quickly.
Now a daisy, its got some fight in it. I hear these suckers can last for ages if you take care of them. I
think were more daisy, less tulip, he said.
I stared at him, my mouth hanging open, a lump caught in my throat.
What do you think? he asked his smile easy.
I think I have a new favorite flower, I said.
Come over here. I missed you, he said. I rounded the island and went into his arms. It felt good
to be wrapped up in his strong embrace, completely surrounded by him.
You want to go to dinner? he asked, his hands moving down my back to rest at my hips.
Not really, I said. I didnt want to leave the apartment. I was far too selfish to share him with
anyone else. I ran my hands under the thermal he was wearing, feeling instant heat pulsing within me
as I felt the warm hard lines of his body. Keaton followed my lead, his hands sliding beneath my shirt
and across my stomach and up to my breasts. His thumb teased me through the lace of my bra,
bringing a sigh to my lips. I barely noticed as he began to walk me backwards towards the living
room, covering my throat with kisses that left me feeling hot and weak.
We could watch a movie, he suggested as he slid the shirt I was wearing up and over my head.
I grabbed his face and kissed him, Nah. I felt his smile against my kiss and he lifted me up and
carried me towards the chaise lounge in the living room. He set me on my feet as I helped him
remove his shirt and placed soft kisses across his chest.
You seem to be awfully hard to please today, he teased, his fingers loosening the belt at my
waist. I helped him out by pushing my jeans down my legs and stepping out of them.
Not at all, Ill tell you exactly what I want. I said, holding his gaze. He gave me a cocky smirk
and ran his hand across his growing erection.
Tell me, baby, he said, the confident, arrogant rasp of his voice sending need all the way down to
my toes. I nodded to the lounger and he settled in, his dick straining against his boxer briefs. I
followed, settling over him, rocking against his hardness. Now what? he asked, enjoying this game.
I leaned in, my lips close to his ear, my voice soft, I want to make out. He laughed and pulled
back to look at me.
You want to make out? he asked.
I want you to kiss me, I said.
How about I kiss you while my dick is buried deep inside you, he said pushing up and into my
center. My panties were soaked, my body ready for him.
I couldnt help but smile as I took his face into my hands. Kiss me, I said softly. He didnt make
me ask again. His lips covered mine and while I expected him to hit me with a passionate, hungry kiss,
he pulled me to him instead with a soul crushing, slow and sensual kiss that I felt deep down in my
bones. His lips moved across mine, his tongue in a seductive dance with my own. I sighed as his teeth
nipped at my lip and then moved to my jaw and my neck. His arms encircled my back and held me so
close to his chest that I swear I could feel the beat of his heart through his skin. It overtook me and this
one kiss left me so completely overwhelmed with emotion that I could barely find thought. I touched

his face and ground my hips against his in an effort to be closer. Its as if I wanted to find a way to
simply crawl inside of him.
My breath was heavy as his mouth covered mine again. My lips were already swollen, but I felt
like I couldnt get enough of him. You set me on fire, he breathed against me. Ill never get enough
of this; Ill never have my fill of you. His voice was labored and I could tell he was feeling the same
restraint that I was, emotional and physical. I rested my forehead against his as we both tried to slow
our racing hearts. I had been teasing him, wanting to make out, but shit, those kisses, they had rocked
me. My whole body was shaking, like a dam, holding in a flood of emotions that had been stirred up
by a storm. A hurricane I was in no shape to fight off.
"I love you," I said softly. The words fell out of my mouth before I knew they were there. The
sound of them hit my ears and I felt instant panic and relief. I forced myself to find his eyes, needing
to see his reaction first hand. I'd been carrying these words with me for so long that it felt good to set
them free. But it felt dangerous, too, to say them out loud.
"Quinn," he started, his voice catching. I felt his breath stutter, his chest stilling beneath the hand
that I had pressed against his heart. Shit. All I could do now was own it.
"I do," I continued. "I just do," My heart was beating so fast. At any moment I might collapse. I
couldn't read his face; the storm behind his eyes seemed to flash a hundred different emotions at once.
His head began to turn, side to side. I braced for the no, the rejection, holding on to the hope that he
was just letting the words sink in.
Sitting here straddled across his lap, barely clothed I felt vulnerable, stripped bare in every sense
of the word. I listened to his ragged breath and found that it matched my own. His hands moved up my
arms until he cradled my face. Need darkened his eyes and his grip on my face became demanding as
he pulled me to him. His mouth slammed against mine, his tongue taking ownership, I was pinned to
him, not that I would have gone anywhere in this moment. I thrilled at the way his fingers gripped me,
the way he took my breath for his own.
His hands moved along my body as his hips moved beneath me, searching me out. His fingers dug
into my skin, pulling, needing, commanding me to surrender to him. I had no reservations. I loved the
control he took. There was something about the way he pulled at me, like he couldn't get close enough
to me to make me feel what he was feeling.
A moan fell from my lips as he kissed up and down my throat, licking across my collarbone. I
sighed his name, grinding against him and wanting him to fill me. I was more than willing to go on
any journey he offered,
He pulled at the straps of my bra, unconcerned for the fabric, focused on getting exactly what he
wanted. He pulled down the lace cup and covered my waiting breast with his mouth. The heat left
goose bumps along my body. I rubbed against the hardness beneath me, hungry for the friction that
would help settle the ache between my thighs.
"You're beautiful. I don't deserve you," he moaned between kisses.
"I am yours, completely," I sighed.
We were frantic hands and mouths, both searching the other for answers we needed,
communicating our hearts without words.
I don't even know how he managed to free us from our clothing, but when he slid into me, I
grasped onto him, my nails digging into his skin, the emotion in me too much to hold back. He held
me, gripped me, and ravaged me with a raw need that left me quivering around him.
His words against my ear were sweet as they tumbled from him without any reason or thought. In
this moment it didn't matter if he didn't say the words back, because I felt them. I felt them in this
connection between us. Keaton had words. He knew exactly how to use them, to sculpt them into
something beyond what they were on their own. I didn't need the words. I needed the feeling behind

them and that was exactly what I had. I believed it, even if he wasn't quite ready to believe it himself.



IVE ALWAYS KNOWN what love looks like. Ive never doubted its existence. My parents have the
kind of love that people spend their lives searching for. It is the kind that people envy, the kind of
relationship that people see from afar and say, They are the lucky ones. But even as a kid I knew
better than to think that it had anything to do with luck.
I used to watch them from the barstool in the kitchen, listen when they thought I wasnt paying
attention, and I took it all in. Theirs was the first story I ever tried to uncover. And what I learned in all
of those years of watching my parents was that love is about hard work. Its about sacrifice and tough
decisions. Its give and takeand its mostly give.
You dont get handed the fairytale. You work for it. Every single day you put in the time. You
commit and sometimes that means giving up something you really wanted. Like the day I heard my
dad turn down his dream job because he didnt want to uproot his family and move us across the
country. I listened to him tell my mother that we were his priority and that we were enough.
Imagine that.
It stuck with me. Because even then, as a fourteen year old kid, I knew I would have taken the job. I
wasnt going to give up anything for anybody. I had dreams and I was going to travel the world. At
the time I thought that made me better than my dad. Now, it just makes me feel like an asshole.
The point is, I know what love is. I know what it takes. I know what the real life fairytale requires.
And I know that Quinn was made for that life. I could write her into that scene a thousand times. She
belongs there. She fits. She gives without thinking, she loves completely. Its effortless for her.
The problem comes when I try to write myself into the same scene. I cant do it. No matter how I
twist it, it never quite fits. And I know why. Ive always known why. Its not my part to fill. Im the guy
you have fun with, the guy you get out of your system, that crazy thing you did once. Im not the guy
you fall in love with.
Only she says that she loves me. And God help me, I believe her.
How can three words feel so amazing and still suffocate me? Because I swear I havent taken a
deep breath since she said them. My heart hasnt steadied and my head is a mess.
Shes looking at me with patient eyes and I feel like Im walking across broken glass.
I dont know how to do this.
Im not this guy.
This isnt my story.
Fuck, I wish it was.

"ARE YOU READY to go?" I called out. I was distracted. It felt as if my whole body held a constant
vibration. My brain volleyed from constant analyzing to white noise.

The last thing I wanted to do was go to Parker's little party. She was constantly pushing me to do
these things, telling me it was good to keep my connections pliable. I just felt like her show pony. On
the other hand, it was a distraction from everything that hung between Quinn and me, from all of the
things that I wasn't ready to confront just yet.
"I'm ready to go," she said, pulling me from my thoughts. I looked up to see her in the doorway of
the bedroom. My breath caught, the way it always did when the sight of her surprised me. Her dress
was pale pink, the skirt brushing across her toned legs. She gave me a shy smile and I contemplated
taking her back to bed.
"You look amazing," I offered. She walked towards me and kissed my cheek.
"So do you."
I leaned in to kiss her. It was all that I could do. I craved her. It overtook everything else. When I
held her close and kissed her I didnt have to worry with the jumbled thoughts crowding my brain. I
didnt have to deal with the heaviness in my chest or figure out what any of it meant. I could just get
lost in her for a moment, and take a breath.
I dont know if she could feel the chaos I had beneath the surface, but I assumed she could. We
were connected. She had become a part of fabric of who I was. I used to find that comforting, now it
felt like a collar that was too tight.
We were quiet on the ride to the party. Quinn didn't push me to talk, she knew my head space was a
mess and she was giving me time to work it out. I hated that my silence was probably causing her to
doubt, but I was so grateful to her for allowing me the space. Her patience with me was more than I
deserved. I rested my hand on her thigh, just under the material so that I could trace lines along her
skin. I needed the connection; I needed something to ground me.
The cab pulled up to the party and I let out a heavy sigh. I didn't miss the concerned look that she
gave me, she was worried about me. I gave her a reassuring smile, "We don't have to stay long. I'm
mostly making an appearance to appease Parker. But you might meet some good people here," I
offered.
"It'll be fun. Don't worry about me," she smiled.
I took her hand and led her into the restaurant where the party was being held. Quinn stuck close
beside me as we moved into the crowd. As soon as we stepped in, I wanted to leave. I wasn't in the
mood. I wasnt even sure I could fake it. Quinn gave my hand a squeeze and it calmed me down.
After grabbing us a drink I pulled her from group to group introducing her to people. At the very
least maybe she would make some good connections. Sometimes finding the right job was about
knowing the right people. The right introduction could get her to New York to stay.
I was mid introduction when the direction of my thoughts took hold. Here I was freaking out about
the L-bomb and I was practically moving her in. What the fuck was wrong with me? I was a complete
fucking fraud. I felt my heart begin to pound erratically in my chest. I caught the worried look that
Quinn flicked my way before jumping in and taking over the conversation.
"Are you okay?" she asked me quietly as we pulled ourselves away from the group.
"Yeah, I just got distracted," I mumbled.
"Keaton, there you are. I was starting to think that you weren't coming." Parker. She walked up,
wearing sky high heels to match her red, skintight dress.
"Of course I came. You'd have my head if I didnt," I forced a laugh and hoped no one noticed the
sweat that had broken out across my forehead.
"It's about time you started to fear me," she smiled before turning her attention to Quinn.
"Quinn, this is my agent Parker. She's the one who is constantly busting my ass," I smiled. Quinn
smiled and shook her hand as I continued the introduction, "And this is my friend, Quinn," I said. I felt
her tense beside me and I couldn't even look at her. I could lie and say it was an accident, but Id said it

on purpose. I knew it had hurt her, especially after last night. I don't know why I'd said it. But for a
moment it had felt good. Like for just a beat I had control.
I watched as Quinn and Parker shook hands. I didn't miss the once over that Parker gave her or the
sideways glance she threw at me. Parker had known me a long time. I didn't have friends and I didn't
introduce girls into my life. Quinn gave her a sweet smile, but I couldn't help but notice how it didn't
quite reach her eyes; the fact driven home further when she looked at me with the same fake
enthusiasm. I'd hurt her. It had been a dick move.
Parker and Quinn made small talk while I drank my beer. I barely heard them. I was too busy
trying to figure out how I was going to explain myself to Quinn once we were alone. Parker excused
herself and I reached down to take Quinn's hand. I needed another drink.
"Do you want some wine or something?" I asked, glancing around for the nearest bar. I stopped
when she yanked her hand out of mine and glared up at me, anger mixing with the pain.
"What was that about?" she asked, her tone eerily calm.
"What was what?" I asked, pretending I didn't know what she meant, but I avoided her eyes because
I knew she'd see straight through me.
"Don't pull that crap with me, Keaton. So, we're going to pull the friend card?"
"Sorry. Parker doesn't need to know my business," I said, hoping my nonchalant attitude would
diffuse the situation.
"What's going on, Keaton? You've been acting weird all day," she said, her anger fading and her
doubt taking over. "Is this about last night? I told you --."
I cut her off, giving her a big smile and pulling her close to me. "Last night was amazing. I'm
sorry. Really. I'm just-- I didn't want to have to stand there and listen to all of her questions," I said.
Her eyes narrowed, studying me for the truth. She didn't believe me. I had known she wouldn't, but
I watched her relax a little and I knew that she was going to give me a pass for now.
"Wine?" I asked again.
She gave me a small nod and I led her towards the bar, giving her hand a squeeze, one that I hoped
would reassure her where my words and my actions couldn't. I just needed some time to wrap my
head around it all.
Quinn settled in beside me as we mingled with the crowds and made small talk with strangers. She
held onto my hand tightly, as if she was afraid to lose the connection, but to everyone else she
appeared happy and friendly, making fast friends with everyone she met. But each time our eyes met I
knew that we were only on borrowed time. She smiled up at me, but it never quite filled her eyes. I
saw the hesitancy and doubt that was starting to settle in and I knew I needed to get her alone and try
and take it away.
I still had no idea what I would say. I didn't even really know how I felt about everything, but I
couldn't stand to see that look in her eyes. I couldn't handle the fact that I had hurt her by being so
flippant and casual about everything.
I leaned down my mouth grazing her ear as I asked, "You ready to get out of here?" I could smell
her faint perfume mixing with the shampoo she'd used this morning. I couldn't help but breathe it in.
She nodded, "Okay." I thought I saw her take a deep breath. As much as she wanted answers I
wondered if she was as nervous as I was about what those answers might be.
I followed her into an empty elevator and moved in close to her as the doors closed behind me.
She backed up to the wall and I slid my hand behind her neck, resting my forehead against hers. I felt
her take in a breath and let it out slowly. Neither of us spoke, but the way we filled the same space
stirred the air mixing up passion and questions.
The elevator car reached the bottom and I reluctantly stepped away. I grabbed her hand and led her
out into the hotel lobby, pulling her against me as we walked towards the valet and waited for a cab.

"Are you cold?" I asked finally as we stood in the chilly night air.
She shook her head, "I'm okay." She offered me up a smile and I had to lean in and kiss her. The
tension that had been between us all night was too much for me and I needed the connection.
I didn't try to start the conversation until we were in the apartment. Quinn had gone straight to the
bedroom. I followed her, stopping in the doorway as she reached back to slide the zipper of her dress
down, the pale pink material folding at the waist.
"Quinn," I started. Suddenly I was swallowing through sand, not even sure I could get the words
out. She turned to look over her shoulder at me and I swear my heart stopped. I stepped towards her
and she turned to face me. I slid the dress down her body as her eyes met and held mine. She put her
hands on my shoulders and stepped out and away from the pool of fabric. She'd already kicked her
shoes off and the lack of heels made her seem so small in front of me.
"I owe you an explanation," I said softly.
"Let's get ready for bed," she said. I let her unbutton each button of my shirt; she did so without
hurry, her fingers brushing against my chest. When she reached the bottom she tugged the shirt from
its hold and then pushed it off of my shoulders. She dropped it onto the floor next to her dress and
then started unclasping my belt. I watched her work, kicking out of my pants once they hit the floor.
Then she ran her hands under my white undershirt, across my heated skin, pushing up until it was
over my head. I expected her to throw it on the pile with everything else, but instead she slid it over
her head, letting it fall along her body where it brushed against her bare thighs. My gaze lingered.
She took my hand and pulled me to the bed. Since she was now wearing my shirt, I had to imagine
she wasn't planning a seduction. Little did she know the sight of her in that shirt did more to me than
the fancy dress. I sat, leaning against the headboard and she climbed in beside me, sitting cross
legged.
She waited.
"I'm sorry I hurt you tonight," I said reaching out to take her hand. Her skin was soft and running
my thumb across it soothed me.
She continued to wait.
"I don't know what to say," I admitted softly.
"Try."
I took a moment. I wanted to tell her what I was feeling, but I was having trouble getting a handle
on what that even was.
"Babe, you threw me for a loop yesterday. I wasn't expecting it. I was amazed by it, don't get me
wrong, but I'm thrown," I said.
I watched her take a deep breath and as she let it out she seemed to relax a little.
"I know,' she said.
I needed to find a way to explain it to her. I couldn't handle that look in her eyes, the questions and
doubt that stared back at me. They put my heart in a vice grip and it made it hard to breathe.
"When I'm with you everything feels right, it feels easy," I said. She gave me a little smile.
"Yeah," she agreed.
"It scares me," I admitted. I hated how vulnerable I sounded. How vulnerable I felt. I wasn't used to
feeling this out of control, especially over something like my feelings.
"What is it that scares you exactly?"
I found her eyes, needing her to feel the truth and understand how deeply I cared for her.
"That it will get hard. That we will lose this. That I won't know how to do hard," I finished. Her
face softened and she moved closer, straddling me. She took my face into her hands, brushing her
thumbs across my cheeks. I wanted to close my eyes and sigh into her touch, but I held her gaze.
"We're going to have hard days," she admitted. "But we can get through them. I know that we can.

Just don't shut me out. I can't handle it when you shut me out."
I swallowed hard and nodded. She was right. Sometimes it still surprised me just how well she
understood me. I couldn't hide from her and while part of me loved the comfort of that transparency,
it was terrifying. "I'm sorry about tonight. I'm sorry about a lot of things," I said.
"We're fine. Just talk to me. Before you get like this. I know I dropped a bomb on you. I didn't plan
on it, but I'm not sorry that I did. I meant it. But that's all me, there is no pressure here. I just want to be
with you, just like this," she said. She ran her hands down my bare chest, her touch like tiny electrodes
zapping me with electricity and lust.
I smiled and shifted my hips beneath her, "Just like this?" She bit her lip as I teased her.
Youre impossible, she said.
Let me make it up to you? I asked. She pretended to think about it for a minute before a smile
touched her lips and I knew I was forgiven.
Okay.



TALK ABOUT BEING nervous. It was one thing to meet the parents, it was another thing to be there
for a big Harris family get together. I told myself not to worry. Keaton was right here by my side and
Miles would be there so that made two people that I already knew. Besides, maybe it would be easier
just to jump into the deep end and meet everyone at once.
I wasn't the only one who seemed nervous. Keaton had been fidgety all day. It amused me, my
strong confident guy nervous about bringing a girl home. Then it occurred to me that he probably
didn't bring many, if any, girls home. That took my nerves to a whole new level.
Maybe I was putting too much pressure on him. I mean, I'd already dropped the L-bomb on him. I
was starting to worry that I was pushing him too fast. Normally I would have already spent ample
time analyzing all of the pieces and parts of the situation, but I realized I hadn't stopped to give it a
second thought. That's what Keaton did to me. He made me act first, think later.
"So, this is going to be a pretty big shindig?" I asked, trying to pull off casual.
He shrugged, "My family loves big get-togethers. Any excuse for mom to get the entire family
together is fair game. Especially since Alycia has babies now. Everything revolves around the
babies," he laughed. His eyes lit up when he talked about his nieces. He appeared to take his job as
uncle very seriously. Favorite uncle as he called it. Evidently he and Miles volleyed back and forth for
the title.
I fidgeted with the plate of brownies on my lap, smoothing the cellophane on the pan. He reached
over and took my hand and placed a kiss on my nervous fingers. "It's going to be fine, Quinn. Don't
be nervous. They will adore you, I know it."
I smiled, letting his words reassure me. I couldn't get rid of the nerves completely, but he settled
them down and gave me better control of them.
We pulled up to the large yellow house and I could instantly tell it was full of life. Kids ran around
in the large front yard, chasing one another and laughing in high squealed bursts whenever someone
got too close. I took a deep breath. It was game time. I couldn't help but wonder how it was that Keaton
had appeared so smooth and collected when he'd met my parents.
"Ready?" he asked.
"Okay," I said. My answer made him laugh and he leaned over to kiss me. He let his lips brush
against my own before placing his hand behind my neck and pulling me to him so he could deepen
the kiss. I melted into him, nerves gone, worries lost. He soothed them all. Maybe I could just stay
here in this car with him all day and no one would notice.
He pulled back and kissed the tip of my nose. "I needed that too," he smiled. At least we were in this
together.
He came around and opened my door, taking the tray of sweets and then offering me his hand. I
took it and held on like it was my lifeline. As we walked towards the door, the kids spotted him and
made a beeline for us. Just as they reached us, he leaned in to my ear and said, "You're beautiful. I
should have told you before." My heart melted.
"Uncle Keaton!" said one of the girls who was currently grabbing onto his leg.
"Have you seen Lexi anywhere? I heard she was going to be here," he said as he shielded his eyes

with one hand as if searching all around for Lexi. The little girl giggled.
"I'm Lexi," she protested as she turned her little face up to Keaton, staring in awe.
Keaton looked down, handed me the pan of brownies and then knelt to her level. He held her at
arms length pretending to study her closely, turning her around and eying her skeptically. She
laughed, the sound like music. "Uncle Keaton, it's me!"
"Can't be, Lexi was not this tall," he frowned.
"I am, I am," she said as her giggles spilled out in playful waves.
Keaton pretended to think about it, "There really is only one way I can know for sure," he said
very seriously. Lexi waited to hear what it was, as did I.
"Tickle monster," he said matter-of-factly, and then he grabbed her up and tickled her sides as she
shrieked delightedly. Then he hoisted her on his shoulders and threw me a wink. My vote for favorite
uncle would totally go to him. There was no way he could lose.
We walked into the house and were greeted by a wave of voices and chatter.
"Uncle Keaton is here and he brought a pretty girl," Lexi shouted from his shoulders.
That was all it took for the voices to dim and the family to converge. I felt my heartbeat quicken as
I gripped onto the pan.
"You made it," an excited voice called from the kitchen. A moment later a stunning woman with the
same eyes I'd grown to love rushed out. Keaton put Lexi down and hugged the woman.
"Hey, Mom," Keaton kissed the top of her head as she was nearly a foot shorter than he was. Of
course this was his mom. Her hair was long and dark and while I guessed her to be in her fifties, her
skin was flawless. She turned to me and her eyes lit with excitement.
"You must be Quinn. It is so good to meet you. I can't wait to talk to you." She grabbed me up into a
hug and I barely held onto the pan in my hand. Luckily Keaton grabbed it before it could tumble from
my grasp.
"It's great to meet you, Mrs. Harris," I said. She released me but gave me a good once over as she
stepped back.
"Nonsense. Call me Mia. Let's introduce you to everyone. Don't be overwhelmed. I know we have a
big brood, but they are all harmless. I see that you met our granddaughter, Lexi. She just turned five.
She rattled off the names of everyone who had filed into the room, and even though I tried to
remember there was no way that I would. There were three aunts, six cousins, Miles, and a handful of
kids that were running in circles the whole time. I smiled brightly and greeted them all, but honestly, I
felt like I was in a tunnel and all of the noise was echoing around me to the point where I couldn't
make out anything clearly.
A younger woman holding a baby in a pink frilly dress stepped up to me and smiled, "Don't worry,
we won't quiz you. I bet you feel like you were just ambushed," she laughed.
I gave her a nervous laugh of confirmation. "I'm Alycia, Keaton's sister. I've heard a lot about
you," she smiled. I threw a glance at Keaton who shook his head innocently. "Well, I have to
supplement my information with Miles. This one never spills any of the good stuff," Alycia teased.
"Why should I reward you for your meddling, nosy behavior?" Keaton shot back.
"It's called curiosity," she pointed out.
"Sure it is," Keaton said. He kissed the baby in her arms and got a sweet smile in return.
"It is my sisterly duty to check up on you and make sure you stay out of trouble; or find some to
get into whatever the case may be."
"The getting into part is my job," a voice said coming up behind us. Miles. It was good to see his
friendly face. He wrapped me up in a hug. "Good to see you, Quinn. I can't believe you are braving
the family though. They are all a bunch of crazies," he smiled. He took the baby from his sister and
began making small cooing sounds.

I could barely get a word in with these three. They didn't seem to notice though. It was all par for
the course with them. I imagined them as kids, running around, talking over each other and fighting
for attention. That's how I always imagined big families. Growing up an only child I'd never had any
of that. Most of the time I was left to talk to myself. It had definitely been quieter. Here in the Harris
house there was a constant hum of noise and activity, occasionally escalating into a roar.
"Come on, let's go out back and I'll introduce you to Dad and the uncles. They are probably going
to flirt with you relentlessly, but they are mostly harmless," Keaton laughed. I followed him outside to
the giant deck. There was a massive grill and it was surrounded by a very large, very loud group of
men. Their laughter and exuberance was contagious if not a bit overwhelming.
"Keaton!" I heard as we stepped into the mayhem.
"Hey, Dad. Guys," he greeted. He kept a grip on my hand and I was grateful. The curious smiles of
the ladies inside had been one thing, but this deck was wall to wall testosterone.
The man at the grill handed off his spatula and made his way towards us. He looked so much like
Keaton it was eerie. "Is this her? Quinn?" he asked.
"That's me," I squeaked. Before I could say another word he grabbed me into a hug and spun me
around, Luckily, Keaton let go of my hand before the attack, or I might have lost a limb. He set me
back down, a little unsteady on my feet and beamed a smile down at me.
"It's so great to meet you. You are a pretty thing," he said, then he turned to Keaton and asked,
"How in the hell did you pull this one off?"
Keaton smiled over at me as he slid an arm around me, pulling me closer to him. "I keep asking
myself the same question."
"It's very nice to meet you. Thanks for having me over," I smiled. This family was amazing; Overthe-top and so full of life. I loved it.
"We're happy to have you here, Quinn. I'm Joe. Did he tell you my name is Joe? Do you like steak?
I'm making steak and chicken. Oh, and burgers for the kids, but you can have one of those too. Do
you have a preference?" he asked. I laughed at the way his thoughts ran together, spilling out in rapid
succession.
"It all sounds amazing," I said.
He leaned in and gave me a mischievous smile, one that I recognized all too well, "I am an
amazing cook." He gave me a wink and then pressed a finger to his lips as if he were sharing a secret.
"Okay, Dad, rein it in," Keaton laughed.
Keaton introduced me to everyone else on the deck, adding to the list of names that Id never
remember. "How about we go and get a drink or something?" he asked. I nodded, I could use one.
I followed him back into the kitchen where he grabbed a glass and a pitcher of something pink and
poured me a glass. "It's kind of crazy when everyone is here at once," he said, handing me the glass.
"I don't think we had this many people at our family reunion," I said. I took a deep breath and took
a sip of my drink. It was both tart and sweet, with a kick. It was delicious.
"That's mom's favorite champagne punch. Go slow, it will knock you on your ass unexpectedly,"
he warned.
The afternoon carried on and soon I was relaxed and having a great time. Keaton's mom and sister
had stolen me away to chat while they finished up with side dishes in the kitchen. There was enough
food here to feed an army. Then again, it was a packed house. I helped chop some vegetables while
Mia asked me questions about myself and Alycia told embarrassing stories about her brother.
I could see Keaton outside on the deck, sipping his beer. He looked so handsome that I kept getting
distracted. Each time I caught him glancing inside to check on me he owned a little more of my heart.
There was something to be said about a man who wanted to make sure that you were being taken care
of.

Keaton's family was straight out of a movie, or a storybook. I watched as Joe sauntered in with a
platter full of food. He hummed under his breath as he set it down on the counter and then pulled Mia
into his arms and began to dance with her. She laughed and swatted playfully at him. He dipped her
low and then planted a kiss on her lips. Once he had her back on her feet he twirled her once and then
sauntered back out to his grill.
I caught the smile on her face and noticed the twinkle of her eyes as she went back to her task.
"Don't mind them. They've always been that way," Alycia smiled. "We keep thinking that they'll
grow out of it. No such luck yet though, right Mom?" she teased.
Mia just smiled and continued tossing the salad. I noticed that she'd started humming the same song
that Joe had left with.
There wasnt a table large enough to fit the extended Harris clan, so people were spread around all
over the house and outside on the deck. Keaton and I sat in the kitchen at the breakfast nook with
Alycia and Keaton's great aunt Helen. She was a spitfire and I fell in love with her instantly. She and
Alycia were more than happy to tell me about the trouble Keaton had gotten into as a kid. He took it in
stride, offering up his own antidotes that had the entire table in hysterics. Keaton's mom, Mia, finally
brought her plate in to join us saying that she hated missing out on the fun.
It was an amazing day and what had made it even better was the fact that Keaton had settled into it
just fine. I'd been worried that it would be too much for him, but when we left for the night he seemed
genuinely relaxed. I barely had my seatbelt on before he had leaned over and pulled me to him in a
kiss. His tongue slipped past my lips and his fingers curled around the back of my neck. I hummed
low in satisfaction at his seduction.
"I've been dying to do that all fucking day," he said, breathless as he pulled back. It was only then
that I noticed the slight frantic look in his eyes. He'd been so at ease all day, but I could see the small
storm starting to take shape behind his eyes. I ran my finger across his lips.
"I missed you too," I smiled. He kissed me once more, soft and sweet and then kissed my forehead
before buckling his own seatbelt and starting the car.
"I had fun today," I said.
"Me too," he said softly, his voice kind of far off. I couldn't help but wonder if that was the part that
had him feeling off kilter. I thought about asking him, but I decided to wait and give him a little time
to absorb it. After our talk last night I had a better understanding of what was going on in that head of
his. After today, I think I understood it even more. Watching his family and seeing the people who had
shaped him, who knew him best, had provided some surprising insight. And as we started home I
found myself lost in my own thoughts, trying to piece it all together.
I had seen a whole new side to Keaton today. And what Id realized was that the things that I thought
I knew, the things that I thought held him back, werent the right things at all.

THE RIDE HOME was quiet, both of us lost in our thoughts. I had no idea what she was thinking
about, but I had a mess of emotions churning in my stomach and constricting my heart. Seeing Quinn
with my family had been amazing, seeing the way she fit in, instantly welcomed. I had sat there
watching her talk to my mom, pouring over old albums and genuinely laughing at stories of me as a
kid.
Mom loved her. I could tell that right away and the two were instant friends. I don't know why I
would have expected anything less. It was Quinn. She won people over with her genuine spirit. When

you talked to her you saw only truth and the warmth that had spilled from her had left my heart
feeling all those scary things again.
I hated this lost feeling. How could I feel so much for this girl and feel so tortured by it? My heart
was a complete contradiction and it was hard to find my footing. As a rule, I didn't over-think things. I
did what felt right, I did it without thinking at all most of the time. But I couldn't do that with her. I
couldn't be flippant with her heart or her trust and that had left me in a complete quandary.
She loved me. Those words, I heard them over and over, even if she hadn't said them again, I felt
them. With every look, every caress, and I wanted so much to return it, but I just wasn't ready. I knew
she wouldn't wait forever. I knew that I had to face the storm that raged inside me and decide what it
all meant.
"I get it now," she said suddenly breaking me from my thoughts. I glanced over at her, but she was
staring out the window.
"What's that?" I asked.
"I used to think that you didn't believe in love at all. That you thought it was an idea only foolish
people entertained," she said.
I held my breath, unsure of where she was going and afraid she would call me out on my bullshit
of the past few days.
She looked over at me and gave me a sweet smile. There was no hurt or anger there, just that same
curiosity that I loved about her.
"It's not that at all is it?" she asked, studying my face with those eyes that saw straight though any
mask I dared to get away with.
"It's not?" I managed doing my best to give nothing away.
"No. I saw it today, with your family. It's not that you don't believe in love, it's that you know just
how real it is. You've seen it your whole life. Your parents have a very rare love, the kind that you put
in each of your books. You believe in it because you've been surrounded by it," she said.
I didn't dare speak, but I reached out and took her hand in mine and gave it a squeeze. She was so
close to the truth. She was observant and smart and she was once again seeing me down to my core.
"I suspect that is a hard thing to live up to," she said softly as she turned her gaze back to the
window. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't positive I could say anything through the lump that sat
centered in my throat.
When I stayed silent, she squeezed my hand and I knew she was giving me a pass. I was grateful
and still awed at her patience with me.
We reached my apartment and I held her close to me as we moved towards the elevator and to my
door. I unlocked the bolt and ushered her inside. As soon as it closed I grabbed her hand and pulled
her to me. Surprised she let out an eep. I grabbed her face in my hands and looked down into her
hazel eyes. She knew me. She got me. She understood without me ever having to find the words to
explain.
"Quinn, I--" I started. Shit, this girl, she left me without words. I searched my ragged brain for
something, anything to explain the feelings that were wrapped around my heart, but nothing was there.
"I know," she said softly. And God help me, I believed that she did.
"I need you," I choked out.
Her small hands pressed against my chest. I hoped that she could feel the steady thump of my heart.
I hoped it was beating out the things that I wasn't saying. She moved her hands along the center of my
shirt, releasing each button as she went.
"I'm here," she said, her voice soft and breathy with desire. She reached the final button and then
ran her hands back up my chest before pushing the shirt off of my shoulders.
"Never leave," I breathed out as I covered her mouth with my own. Her arms circled my neck as I

picked her up and carried her to my bedroom. I may not have the right words to say when it came to
her, but I had other ways to express myself. And right now, I needed to spend the rest of the night
doing just that.
I felt more in control with the light of a new day cascading over us. I had to admit, waking up with
Quinn wrapped around my body or sprawled out twisted in sheets beside me was pretty fantastic. I
loved waking up before her and watching her sleep. She looked like an angel. I know, it's cheesy, but
fuck if it wasn't true. Then there was the soft sigh of her breathing. I couldn't help but wonder about
what she might be dreaming about. Was it wrong that I wanted every single one of her dreams to be
about me? I wanted to be in all of her thoughts, twisted around every moment of her life so that she
had no option but to be completely mine.
Those same thoughts left me feeling guilty. I hated that I asked and expected so much from her, but
was still too much of a pansy to give any of it back. Not that she didn't just take it anyway. She was
already twisted around all of my moments, and I hadn't even seen it happening.
I was a mess. But mornings like this, when she was tangled among my sheets and my world was
focused on her, I didn't want to be anything else.



YOU KNOW WHEN you are learning to drive and you have to get used to how sensitive the gas and
brake pedal are? You think you are only pushing down a little, but then you lurch forward or slam to
a stop?
You think you finally have it down, you think you are in control, but then screech. You fly forward
then snap back into your seat violently with the sudden lack of forward momentum.
Being in love with Keaton was a lot like that some days. He had warned me that being with him
wouldnt be easy. He was right.
Falling in love is tricky. Its a risk. Falling in love with someone afraid to fall in love might be the
riskiest game of all. I'm not sure it's a game anyone can win. Lord knows I've been working at it for
months now.
I let Keaton have his freak out. I didnt push him. And we settled back into a somewhat easy pattern.
Unless you wanted to talk about that skittish look he got from time to time. You couldnt predict it.
Sometimes wed be going along on a perfectly normal day and Id just lose him for a bit. It was as if
some thought would spook him and hed have to hide out for awhile.
I pretended it didnt hurt.
But it scared me.
If I could go back and take those three fateful words out of my vocabulary I would. I wanted
Keaton back and as much as I tried to tell myself that he was just coming to terms with his own
feelings about where our relationship was going, I knew the truth. I was losing him. There was a silent
battle happening and I was starting to realize that my love might not be strong enough to defeat his
fear.
The hardest part was knowing that he loved me. He didnt have to tell me for me to know. I saw it
in his eyes, I felt it in every touch and the way he took care of me like I was the most important thing
in his world. That's love. It's the real deal.
I tried not to get hung up on the words. Words were dangerous. Dangerous because I knew there
was a part of me that needed to hear them, dangerous because I knew he didnt know how. Besides, it
wasnt the words that would be our undoing. It was the fear. And I didnt know how to fix that.
But I kept it to myself.
I shoved the scary moments to the dark corners where I could ignore them. I did it because at the
end of the day he still made me happier than Id ever been. You dont give up that kind of happiness
just because the picture isnt perfect.
So we move forward.
We stop.
And sometimes the whiplash is violent and painful.
But, he makes me happy.
We are happy.
So why do I feel like my world is one misstep away from crumbling around me?


HALF
haf/
noun
noun: half; plural noun: halves
1. either of two equal or corresponding parts into which something is or can be divided

My life was like two halves. Two sides of the same coin. Each moment a complete contradiction to
the one that came before it. I was chaos and confusion and I had no idea where to go next.
Half. I was only half.
My heart, two halves fighting for control. Both sides bruised and broken from the constant battle.
Id gone to war with myself and I had no idea who I was rooting for.
Half of my heart belonged to Quinn. Half of my world was hers. When I was with her I knew
exactly what I wanted, she made things clear. She made me better, she pushed me forward. She
believed, even when it was hard. Half of me wanted to stay right there, wrapped up in that possibility
and promise. Half of me believed that I could be happy there. Half of me even believed I could make
her happy.
The other half hid in darkness. The other half shut down and froze her out because she was getting
too close. I was selfish. The commitment was too great, too real, too permanent. In the shadows the
promise seemed temporary, the possibilities were destined to fail.
I was stuck somewhere in the middle. A swinging pendulum of holding on and pushing away. I saw
it happening and half of me embraced it, knowing that if it crumbled around me then at least the
decision was out of my hands.
Quinn was patient. It was like she saw the struggles, reasoned them out and felt strong enough to
wait it out. Watching her wait, seeing her resolve . . . well it both pissed me off and made me want to
weep at her feet.
I had lost my footing. I'd stopped feeling sure. Each question left me questioning more. I was two
halves. Neither strong enough to overtake the other. Neither sure enough to make the call.
I wasnt the guy she was supposed to fall in love with.
I was selfish.
I had always put me first.
I wasn't my father.
He'd have given up anything for my mom.
He loved her beyond reason and beyond fear. He did with gusto, he did it with grace.
I wasnt like him.
I stumbled.
I fell.
I pushed away when I should pull closer.
I shut down instead of opening up.
I didn't know how to love that way. I didn't know how to give over the parts of me that were
required for a love like that.
I never expected to be in a position where I had to. Now I had to choose. I had to decide if I was
willing to put in the work. I had to decide if it was worth the risk to fail. To be so vulnerable that I not
only risked hurting the one person I cared about, but also giving her the power to destroy me.

So I swung.
Back.
Forth.
Half.

I NEEDED TO have him close. The distance was taking a toll on us both. The only thing saving me
was going back to what I knew best. With so many changing moods I had to take a moment to let my
heart off the hook. I had to sit down and be logical. I tried to get inside his head, feel what he was
feeling and see it from his side. I took it all and ran it through my filter of logic and questions. I made
a plan and it became my armor.
So when he showed up at my place distracted with an idea he just needed to get down on paper I
knew things werent going to go exactly as planned. For two weeks I'd counted each hour, wishing
them away until I could be with him again. It had been a hard and awkward separation after our last
visit. So many unanswered emotions hung between us and our calls had come less and less, and even
when we did talk hed seemed distracted. He told me he was frustrated, feeling stuck with his writing
and maybe he was, but it felt like it was more than that. It felt like he was fighting himself and he was
shutting me out while he waited on the outcome to see who would win.
The whole thing had left me feeling lost. Our relationship had taken on an intensity that had
surprised us both and sometimes I feared that I was the only one handling it well. I understood the fear
that Keaton had. I understood the big changes that I had asked him to make. He'd made room for me in
his life and then I'd come in asking for more, asking for all of it.
I think that would have been hard for him at any level. It wasn't his style. He was used to being on
his own, worrying only about himself. But it was more than that. It wasn't just about giving up his
freedom, it was about making a commitment that he could stick to, that he could devote himself to.
Those things were important to him and honestly, the fact that he took them so seriously made me
love him more.
I liked that he wasn't flippant about it. I liked that he didn't jump back with empty promises. I knew
that when he said something, he meant it and that meant more to me than any flowery words could
have.
The other side of that was the fact that he wasn't making the promises. I saw the questions in his
eyes, not about us, but about him and they broke my heart. They also scared the shit out of me.
Because I didn't know if he'd choose the easy answer or the hard one.
I hoped that this trip would help us find our footing again. When I was with him, things just felt
easier. It was easier to read his face, his voice, to feel him instead of always guessing what was
happening on the other end of a phone line. He seemed to feed off the connection too. Being together
reminded us both why we were fighting to do this whole thing.
I sat on the bed, leaned back against the pillows watching him as he finished up some work on his
laptop. I loved watching him work. I loved the focused look that he got when he was concentrating.
He'd been at it for an hour, even though he'd promised me fifteen minutes tops.
"How's it going over there? Almost done? Im lonely over here," I teased.
He grunted in response. I smiled. I'd wanted real life and I'd gotten it.
I grabbed my Kindle and decided to read until he was done. At least this way I could listen to the
sound of his fingers as they moved across the keys. It was strangely soothing. So much so, that soon it

had lulled me to sleep.

I woke to soft touches ghosting across my skin. I blinked the sleep away to realize it had grown
dark outside, the room lit only by the lamp at the desk.
"I've been neglecting you," Keaton said softly.
"Did you get a lot done? I yawned. He took the Kindle that had fallen in my sleep and put it on the
nightstand.
Yeah, he said softly. I smiled as he stretched out beside me pulling me into his arms. His hair was
disheveled, a sure sign that hed been deep in thought.
Tell me about it, I said as I yawned again.
Id rather just be here with you instead, he said. I could tell that he was tired too. I curled into
him, just happy that he was here. Im sorry I ruined our night. I felt him kiss the top of my head.
You didnt. Having you here is enough. And I meant it. I didnt need fancy dates. I just needed
him.
I really needed to be here, he said softly. His voice was so quiet at first I wasnt sure he meant for
me to hear him. I dont even realize it sometimes until Im back here with you, how much easier it is
for me to breathe. Its like my whole body just settles. Like a reboot or something. I needed it. I
needed you.
His words felt like a healing balm. They mirrored my own and they quieted some of the doubts
that had begun to take hold. I know. I feel the same way, I admitted.
Im sorry I wasted some of our time together. I think just having you in the room helped lift a
block or something, he chuckled.
Im glad I could help, I smiled.
He rolled me over so that his body covered mine and he looked down at my face. I smiled up at
him, his answering grin easy. You have a sexy rumpled look about you right now, he said, his voice
teasing.
I shrug, Unexpected nap. My boyfriend totally neglected me for some fictional bitch with big
boobs. I threw him an exaggerated pout and his smile widened.
How big? He laughed when I narrowed my eyes in a glare. No matter. How about you forget
about that asshole and let me take your mind off of him, he suggested.
Are you saying I should go behind his back? I asked, playing along. He dropped his body down
onto mine leaving soft kisses along my neck.
Hell never know. Ill make it worth your while. Ill do things to you that hes never even heard
about, he said roughly his teeth nipping at my earlobe. I couldnt help the whimper that escaped.
I dont know, he knows my body really well, I argued.
He stopped his kisses and then looked at me with heat and fire in his eyes. Then I guess Ill just
have to spend the entire night learning every single part of it for myself.
I spent the next three days with the man I loved. He shut down every voice of doubt that had
plagued me, calmed my nerves and erased my insecurities. It was as if hed finally put all of his
demons to rest and we were finally back on track.
For the first time since Id dumped those heavy words in his lap I felt like I could take a deep
breath. I finally felt like we were out of the woods. And now that we felt good again it hit me just how
fragile Id been. How hard I had been fighting to keep it together and go through the motions while he
sorted it out.
But none of it mattered if we had weathered the storm and made it out the other side. I didnt need
flowery words. I just needed to know we were still in it together. I didnt need to know what the
ultimate outcome was going to be, I just needed to know we were headed there together.
And now, I finally felt like we were.

I SPENT THREE days giving into my heart. Shutting out my fear. Forgetting the stress that Id placed
on everything. For three days I lived only for the moment. And it felt good. I felt like me again.
I hadnt felt like me for weeks. It was as if Id locked a part of myself away and hadnt even
realized it until she had set me free again. She set me free. She tied me up. She was everything. And
for three days I let everything we were together heal the bruised parts of my heart, the places Id
started to close off, shield, and hide away.
It was three days of perfect.
The way wed always been.
Without questions.
Without worry.
Just free.
Three whole days.
I let it all in.
I let it all go.
Until the moment I stopped. Until the moment it all slammed back into me like a fucking freight
train, stealing my breath away. The fear. Paralyzing me in an instant; it overtook me. Without
warning. Without compromise. And without any way for me to avoid the destructive path it was sure
to send me down.
The moment was simple enough; I walked into her kitchen, where she was leaning across the
counter sipping her coffee and reading the paper. She wore nothing but my t-shirt and a pair of socks.
Her hair was piled on top of her head in one of those messy knots and there were tiny pieces falling in
her face. She was wearing her nerd girl glasses and completely oblivious to how stunningly beautiful
she was. And I thought, I want her, just like this, for the rest of my life. Just like that. Just that easy. It
grabbed hold of my heart and squeezed until I couldnt breathe, couldnt move. I couldnt do anything
but stare at her.
Forever.
Shit.
She must have sensed me come in the room because she looked up and smiled. I swallowed hard,
trying to force down the rocks in my throat so that I could let in some air.
Are you okay? she asked. I could feel the sweat that had started to bead up on my skin. My heart
was pounding in my chest as I watched her walk towards me. God, she was beautiful. A fucking angel.
I took a breath to steady myself. I didnt want to give myself away. I didnt want to ruin everything
by letting her see the spooked look in my eyes. She would know. She knew everything. She was
fighting for us both. I owed it to her to pull my shit together. I couldnt let her down again.

HE LOOKED LIKE he had seen a ghost. I watched as his face paled and he stood frozen mid-step. He
stared at me for a full minute without speaking at all. I dont think he even heard me when I said his
name. His eyes had a far away look and I felt my heart constrict and the prickle on my skin that had

become all too familiar. This was Keaton shutting down. Id seen it. Id felt it too many times already.
And just like that, the magic of the past few days faded. Every beautiful moment began to crumble
around my feet. I could feel the cracks begin to break apart as I worked hard to hold it together.
I felt an instant weariness take me. Id been fighting too hard. These past few weeks had been a test.
Id told myself that I just had to have patience. I just had to be strong enough for both of us and wed
get through the hiccups and come out strong.
We were real. What we had was real. If I had to give him space to catch up I could do that. If I had
to be the one to jump and help him navigate the questions this time then I was okay to do it, because
hed done it for me.
I could do it. I could be patient. I could fight for us both. I could be what he needed, what we
needed. I could smile through the hard parts. I had a plan. Its what I did best. I had it under control.
But I was failing.
I wasnt strong enough.
He wasnt fighting with me.
I was out here all on my own.
And I was tired.
Even my logic couldnt save the storm of doubt that roared through me right now.
He mumbled something about needing some coffee and avoided my gaze as he moved around me
to the coffee pot. There was no sweet touch, not even a sidelong glance or kiss on the cheek.
My mask slipped.
I was too tired.
I was too vulnerable.
For three days hed given me back my fairytale and now he was snatching it away again.
Needing some space I left the kitchen and headed out of the room. I was feeling overwhelmed. I
wanted to think that I was imagining this moment. This ordinary moment that on the surface seemed
so simple, but somehow felt so defining.
I made it to my room and sat down on the edge of the bed. I took a deep breath hoping to steady
myself and then took another when it didnt work. What was I supposed to do? I couldnt go on like
this. We couldnt go on like this.
The thought that he just wanted out and he didnt know how to say it was heavy on my heart. Id put
so much pressure on him throwing those stupid words around. I had tried to fix it. But it was obvious I
hadnt fixed anything.
I closed my eyes and all I could see were his eyes. The way theyd all but clouded over, faded
away. Like hed just checked out. The thought of going back out there and pretending like I hadnt
noticed, pretending while he pretended was too much. I wouldnt do it.
Id been selfish.
Trying to hold on, when maybe he didnt want to be held.
It was time to let him off the hook.
I walked back into the kitchen. Keaton stood right where Id left him, like a statue. He leaned
against the counter, arms crossed across his chest, staring off into some void where I couldnt reach
him.
I walked towards him, taking in a deep breath, giving myself a pep talk with each step, digging
deep to find any scrap of courage that I had hidden away. He didnt look up until I stood only two feet
in front of him. I leaned against the opposite counter and waited for him to meet my gaze.
Hey, he said.
I need you to stop protecting me and just say what it is that you need to say. I can handle it, I said.
I crossed my arms across my chest for good measure.

His head tilted to the side, his brows furrowed, What?

I sighed and decided it was best if I just laid the whole thing out there. I never asked you to love
me. So if youre beating yourself up because you cant say it or because you dont feel it you can
stop. You dont have to love me back. You dont have to make me promises. So just stop shutting me
out.
His eyes widened in surprise, but I kept going, I had to get it out before I lost my nerve. You think
Im waiting around for words, but youre wrong. You dont have to love me. You just have to be
honest with me. You have to be honest with yourself.
If I could take back those words I would. That doesnt mean I didnt mean them. But theyve done
nothing but ruin us. Id take them back in a second if we could just have back what we had. I could
feel the tears stinging my eyes, but I didnt want to cry. I wanted to be strong. It helped when Keaton
closed his eyes, his chin falling to his chest.
I kept going.
You think I didnt just feel you shut down on me? Again? You keep pushing me away and Im
trying my best to just get through it. I keep fighting for us, Keaton. Im trying to do the right things.
But I dont know what you need. You push me away, then you pull me back and you think you are
protecting me, but you are breaking me.
If you are done, if this is over, if you cant do it anymore then you have to let it be over. Please
dont lie to me, dont just go through the motions, Im better than that and so are you.
He looked up, his eyes finding mine and I was shocked to see that they were wet with unshed tears.
It made my throat constrict, seeing the emotion there when just a few moments before hed felt so far
away from me.
You think I dont want you? he asked, his voice was thick and raspy, catching as he swallowed
hard.
I dont know what you want, I admitted softly. Now that I had laid everything out on the table I
could feel my body begin to tremble. The whole room felt like it was spinning, my foundation gone,
my balance unsteady. Everything that mattered hung in the air between us and no matter how many
plans Id made or how many risks Id taken I had no idea which way it was going to go.

HER WORDS FELT like they pierced my skin. I was certain that if I looked down Id see the scars. Its
one thing to know that you are causing damage, its another to see it being collected and presented
back to you.
She stood before me, looking both fierce and fragile, my strong girl cracked and weary from all
that Id asked her to carry on her shoulders.
I pulled her to me, wrapping my arms around her so tightly I had to remind myself to make sure
she could still breathe. My heart slammed against my chest, beating its violent rhythm in warning;
reminding me that I was the lone gunman in this battle. I was the one destroying everything.
There was no hiding from her, no buying time or pretending while I figured shit out, she would
call my bluff every single time.
The words sat on the tip of my tongue, on the tip of my heart and there was a part of me that
wanted to let them spill over. Let them spill over and drown us both. But just like always the wall was
there. The goddamned wall of fear and pride and self doubt kept it all in. The dam of my self
destruction.

Of course I want you, I said, my voice low and thick. And fuck, I meant every word. The thought
of losing her was enough to bring me to my knees. Didnt she see that?
Then why? Why are we here? Why are we losing us? What happened? I watched you, its like you
just disappeared. And after this weekend I thoughtI thought wed found our way back and then it
was like you just shut down on me again, she said, her honesty ripped through me and I gripped her
tighter.
I didnt have the answer, not one that was anything more than me admitting that I was a weak son of
a bitch. How could I explain it when I couldnt even wrap my head around it?
I clung to her, her name falling from my lips over and over in quick succession. Tears stung my
eyes and I could no longer keep them from falling. I felt broken. I hated myself for what I was doing
to her. I could feel the rage building deep in my chest, only to be outdone by my need to take her pain
away. She trembled in my arms, I felt her breaking. We broke together, the armor gone, the truth
heavy around us. It pulled me down and we sunk to the cold tile floor still wrapped in each other. She
began to cry against me, and I kissed her forehead, her cheek, anywhere I could, desperate to try and
soothe her.
Im sorry. Quinn, Im sorry. Ill fix it. I will. Dont give up on me. Ill find a way to fix it. I want
you. I want us. I want it so much. I just dont know how to do it. I keep fucking everything up. But you
have to know, you are everything to me. Everything. Dont give up on me.
She pressed her face to my chest and I smoothed her hair with my fingers, cradling her in my lap.
I dont want to lose us, she said softly.
Im not going anywhere, I said, trying to reassure her with my words, even though my actions
had done nothing but add to her doubts. I had let her down and I hated it.
We sat on that cold hard floor for a long time. Soaking up every part of each other that we could.
We were both bruised and battered and the idea of getting on a plane to go home later was nearly too
much to take.
Finally, I carried her back to bed and we lay together, side by side staring up at the ceiling. I held
her hand, and felt her skin against my arm, but she didnt roll into me and I didnt pull her close. I
think we were both afraid. Too fragile, too afraid, too lost.
I squeezed her hand and I heard her sniffle beside me.
I had to fix it.
I had to find my way back.
I wasnt ready to call it quits yet.
I just wasnt ready to go all in.



WATCHING KEATON LEAVE left me with a heavy heart. The last few hours of his visit had
overshadowed everything that had happened before and it felt like we were living someone elses
story. I had no idea what to expect and it left me feeling uneasy.
It felt good to have gotten my worries out there, to have him reassure me. But it hadnt put
anything to rest. Nothing had been solved. He was still working his way through it. And since Id
asked him to be honest with me I had no choice but to go along and continue to be patient.
Love was hard. It was no wonder he didnt want any part of it. I was starting to think that maybe he
had the right idea.

THE ROAD TO hell is paved with good intentions.
You can want to change. You can want to fix things and make it right. You can want to go back and
put everything back in order and find that perfect peace you had before you turned it all to shit.
That had been my plan. That had been the promise that I made to Quinn. The promise Id made to
myself. I wanted to fix it. I did. The fact that I had no fucking clue how to do it filled me with an anger
I wasnt used to. I didnt recognize myself anymore.
I was over it.
I was trying to be someone I wasnt so that I could be with this girl. Because she made me feel like
I could be someone better. There was no better though. It was what it was. I wasnt going to change.
Id spent too many years living this truth, so to ask me to redefine everything now, on a whim over
some flighty emotion like love was asinine.
But Id meant what I said. I wanted her. I wanted her like Id wanted no one else. She owned me. She
had me in every way I could be had. But she wanted more and that was where I just couldnt take the
step. Thats the part that had me all tied up in desperation and had me stumbling around like a
goddamned fool.
I wanted to be the asshole who didnt care if she loved me. Who didnt care if she got hurt along
the way. I wanted to forget all about the stakes and just enjoy her. Why couldnt I just enjoy her?
I felt a little bit like a frog. Stay with me. You throw a frog in a pot of boiling water and he jumps
the fuck out of there. He knows better than to hop his happy ass into something he cant get out of. But
you take that same frog and you put him in a happy bath of cool, refreshing water and let him hang
out and enjoy the atmosphere while you slowly turn up the heat little by littlehes never going to
realize that hes toast. Not until its too late.
I was a happy little frog.
It was turning me into the worst version of myself.
To make matters worse the only connection I had to the one thing I was supposed to be fighting for

were long distance phone calls with someone who sounded a lot like a stranger. She wasnt the same
girl Id left. She had her guard up so high now I wasnt sure Id ever get past it again. I guess I
deserved it. Hell, this was Quinn we were talking about. She didnt do anything without a notarized
letter saying it was all going to turn up rosy.
Then again, shed taken a chance on me. Shed jumped right in, no questions asked. Even when it
got hard shed pushed through. It was like wed switched roles. Quinn, the girl with all the rules and
reservations had been happy to jump in and take a risk while all I wanted to do was sit on the sidelines
and plan out uncertain futures.
I was angry and irritable and instead of fixing it I took it out on the one person who I was supposed
to be reassuring. When she called while I was writing, I picked a fight. When she told me about her
day and the resume shed sent out, I acted like a dick and only halfway listened. When she asked if I
was okay I snapped at her and told her to stop nagging me. When she told me I was being moody, I
asked her if she was on her period.
I was an asshole. Because it was the one thing I knew how to be.
But then she would get quiet. So quiet that I could almost hear her stacking up the bricks that would
shut me out. If she had a stack of chances I was carelessly running through them, testing her limits and
essentially writing my own ending.
It was the quiet that made me panic. It made my heart race and my skin heat and I knew the only
thing that could calm it was to feel her skin against my own and lose myself in her. A craving and a
need that sent me straight back to square one. I needed her. I needed her with a desperation that I
couldnt even put into words. It was so strong and so fierce that it had manifested into something ugly.
I needed her and I was so close to losing her that it scared me still. If I could feel her then maybe I
could find my center. Maybe I could set it right again. I needed the connection, to feel that we were
one with each other. I needed her heartbeat against my own to remind me that I wasnt crazy. I felt
fucking crazy.
Only there was no chance to hold her. No chance to make it right. And I was losing my fucking
mind.
She was supposed to meet me in Seattle. I had some business there and Id convinced her to meet
me so we could spend some time together. Wed planned it out months ago, a way to get away and
unwind and relax. It was supposed to be a chance for me to show her a city that had been on her wish
list. Now I was sure that we needed it more than ever before.
I stared out of my hotel window, my stomach in knots as I thought about her arrival. I longed to see
her, to hold her. I felt a desperate need to be in the same space. Desperate to have her in my arms, to
feel that physical connection that would calm my heart. At the same time, I was more nervous than I
could ever remember being, knowing it was all up to me. It was time to put up or shut up.



SO YOURE STILL going? Lily asked as I rolled my suitcase into the living room.
Yeah, I kind of have to, I said.
She gave me a sad smile. Shed watched me going through a wave of emotions these past few
weeks and it was hard for her. I think she felt a little guilty knowing that shed pushed me to take a
chance when Id wanted to dig my heels in.
Dont give me that sad doom and gloom look, I teased trying to lighten her mood. Were fine.
These things happen. You just dont know because you hit the road before you have to deal with it, I
smiled. She laughed, giving me a shove.
If thats the case I think Ill keep it up, she said.
Hes a good man, I said. I wouldnt trade a moment with him. Hes given me more life and
more happiness since Ive known him than I ever had before. I love him. Its as easy as that.
She leaned in and gave me a hug. Have fun, sweetie. Knock him off his feet.
By the time the plane touched down I had given myself four different pep talks, each one with a
different plan of attack. Forget the drama and go in like nothing happened. Go in and feel him out and
play your hand accordingly. Go in with your guard up and dont let him in, freeze him out if need be.
Or finally, go in with no plan at all and just hope for the best.
I took a cab to the hotel because Keaton had a meeting and wasnt sure hed be out in time to pick
me up at the airport. It was fine. It gave me more time to pull myself together. More than anything, I
just wanted to see him. I could hardly even picture his face.
After collecting my key at the front desk I made my way up to the room. Id barely unlocked the
door when it was flung open and I was in his arms. He barely gave me time to react before he was
spinning me around and then leaning me back into a kiss.
The instant his lips covered mine it was as if the ice surrounding my heart had begun to melt. I
tentatively moved my arms around his neck and held on as he moved his lips across mine tasting me
like this kiss alone might bring him back to life.
Finally, he set me back up on my shaky feet. Hi, he said shyly.
Hi yourself, I laughed still reeling from his surprise attack.
I really missed you, he said and the sincerity in his voice caught me off guard. It made me
realize just how guarded Id let myself become.
Me too. How did your meeting go? I asked.
He frowned, I dont want to talk about my meeting. Come in, he said. He took the suitcase from
my hands and rolled it away, parking it out of the way. I moved around the room taking in the space.
When he came up behind me, running his lips across the back of my neck I tensed for just a moment
before relaxing. I knew he felt it because he pulled back just a bit. I hated the reaction, it felt so
foreign. It reminded me that there was still so much left unsettled between us.
How about a drink? he suggested and I felt him step back completely, leaving a chill with his
absence. I shrugged out of my jacket and put it on the chair and made my way over to the giant picture
window overlooking the city. I couldnt get my nerves to settle.
Keaton came up behind me with two tumblers of amber liquid and handed me one. I took a sip

hoping it might do the trick. I hated feeling so out of sorts, it didnt feel like us and I hated it. I knew it
was me this time. He was trying; I was the one shutting him out.
Thanks. I must still have the travel jitters, I said with a smile. He gave me a soft laugh, letting me
know he didnt believe me at all, but he was going to let it go. Its a great view, I said returning back
to the window. I felt him move in behind me, his body close enough to mine that I could feel his
exhale of breath. I closed my eyes at the warmth on the back of my neck. My heart ached for him, but
my stomach twisted with the uncertainty that I had brought with me. I heard him set his glass down on
the table and then his hands were there on my hips, pulling me against him.
He dropped his head, running his mouth across my neck, breathing me in as he went. I tilted my
head, allowing him better access. He felt too good, the familiar touch bringing all of my hope to the
surface.
Ive missed the feel of your body, he said, his voice low against my ear as he let one hand drift
up my body to cup my breast. I instinctively arched into him. I am desperate to touch you, to be
inside you. I need to be lost in you, Quinn.
God, his voice, his words sent flames throughout my body. I would always respond to him, I
would always be connected to him this way. I would always want him. It would always be easy to lose
myself in his touch. He was too good at it. It overwhelmed me.
He took the glass that was still in my hand and then turned me to face him. My entire body was
humming with the familiar need to have him, to do just what hed suggested, to get lost. His mouth
found mine and he kissed me slow and deep as his arms wrapped around me. Shit, he could kiss. My
body was ready to surrender, but my brain was still struggling.
Keaton, I breathed out, pulling back. I needed air. I had to have air to think. Part of me worried
about just rushing into bed just to try and put an end to the awkwardness. It felt like a band-aid. A very
nice, toe curling band-aid, but still a temporary fix. I was terrified of ending up the way we had during
our last visit.
Whats wrong? he asked. His eyes were full of fire and need as he pushed me into the glass wall
at my back. I felt the ache between my thighs grow stronger at the thought of what he could do to me
against it.
I just. I need a minute. I was hoping we could just ease back into this. Im still feeling a little --. I
let the sentence hang, not quite sure how to describe what I was feeling. I just wanted to do this right.
Are you serious right now? he asked. I could hear the annoyance in his voice and I bit down on
my lip nervously. Fuck, I cant believe you. He stepped away from me and ran his hands through his
hair. You need a minute? You feel a little what? Jesus, Quinn, you dont even want me to touch you? I
havent seen you in weeks.
Its just weve not really been in the best place. I need a minute to readjust, I said.
He stared me down for a moment and then shook his head. Fine, readjust. Ill be in the shower.
He turned and left. I heard the door to the bathroom slam and it made me jump. That hadnt gone well.
I stood frozen in place completely unsure what to do next.
Maybe I should have stayed home after all.
I took a seat on the couch and waited, lost in my thoughts and worries. If this is how we were
starting I didnt have much hope for the weekend. I didnt have much hope left for any of it.
When he came out he was dressed and carrying his jacket. Lets go get some dinner, he said. I
looked up from my spot on the couch, waiting for him to talk about what had happened, but he didnt.
He was still mad. Awesome.
He stayed quiet as we headed downstairs on the elevator. I could feel the tension rolling off of him.
I followed close behind as we made our way out the front doors where the valet waited to call for our
rental car. There was drizzle hanging in the air and we crouched under the awning trying to avoid the

mist. Honestly, I just wanted to go back upstairs.

A few minutes later we were in the car and weaving through traffic. I glanced over at my
boyfriend, looking broody and unfairly handsome. Are you going to talk to me? I asked, my
patience starting to fade.
He met my eyes and gave me a sarcastic smile, Im going to need a minute, he said. I sighed,
sitting back in my seat and stared out the window. How could he not understand what I was saying? He
was letting his stupid boy ego get in the way of listening at all.
Im really not all that hungry, I said. I wasnt paying attention so it surprised me when he cut the
wheel into a parking spot at the last minute and slammed on his brakes. My entire body flew forward
with my seatbelt. What the hell?
I looked over at him and he sat with his eyes closed and his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.
What do you want from me, Quinn? Im trying to make this night into something and you keep
shutting me down. Tell me what you want, he said.
Well for starters you could pretend you actually want me here, I said.
He turned his glare to me. Im sorry, were you upstairs with me earlier? Were you there when I
told you how much I missed you and how I couldnt wait to be inside your body? What part of that
had you thinking I didnt want you here? Because Im pretty sure it was you who sent me away to take
a cold shower, Quinn.
You said you wanted to fix this, I said quietly.
His eyes narrowed on me and I felt my heart pound in my chest as I heard his even exhale. The one
that let me in on the fact that he was not happy. The one that said he was holding back a mountain of
frustration and I was about to push him right over the edge. But damn if I didnt feel like pushing.
What do you think Im trying to do? You wont let me fix it. Hell, what is it we are even trying to
do? We keep making some huge deal out of fixing something that we dont even remember whats
broken. I feel like Im in a goddamn hamster wheel. Cant I just be with you and not have to answer
for every emotion? Why do we have to define everything? Shit. Ive been busting my ass trying to
make you happy and all Im doing is losing myself. You want to know why we need fixing? Its
because we let this whole thing get too big. We started trying to make it into some big, epic story. Its
just real life, Quinn. Why cant we just let it be real life?
You think I dont want real life? I asked.
I think you want a fairytale. I think Ive been trying my best to figure out how to give you one, but
its hard to give you something that doesnt exist. Im nobodys prince charming. Not even yours.
I felt the tears begin to pool.
I never asked for a fairytale. Ever, I said my voice cracking.
Didnt you? When you told me you loved me? When you waited for me to figure out how to say
it back? When you put up with my shit these past few weeks? Wasnt that you asking? You cant tell
me that you are okay going along like this forever, he said.
Tears were streaming down my face now. I couldnt figure out how he was staying so calm. His
voice even, his eyes free of any of the turmoil that was seizing my heart.
I just wanted to give you space to sort through it. I wanted us to get back to where we were. I just
wanted us to be honest with each other. I dont want to walk on eggshells with you, I said. I was pretty
sure I wasnt making any sense.
Here we are. Being honest. No more eggshells.
I dont know what you are telling me, I said carefully.
Be honest, Quinn. Do you love me? he asked. I couldnt catch the sob that fell from my lips, I felt
so tortured. Id been ready to push, but instead it was him, he was the one ready to shove me off the
cliff. Only he wasnt coming with me this time.

When I didnt answer he asked again, Do you?

Yes.
He nodded. And how does it feel that I havent said it back? he asked. I cried harder, because it
was him asking this question that had me feeling the knife landing in my heart. He leaned into me, his
face close to mine, his voice low and finally breaking with some of the emotion hed refused to show,
Because I dont know how to say it back. And I dont know that Ill ever know how to say it back. I
dont know that Ill ever be able to give it back the way you give it. You want to know why I have been
the way Ive been since you said those words? There it is. You dont see your face. You dont see the
hope in your eyes. You dont know what its like to see that Ive let you down over and over again.
You think Im not trying to fix it? You think its wrong that I want to lose myself in you physically?
You dont know that is the one place I know I can find myself again. I cant promise you anything,
Quinn. I cant even promise you that I can find my way back. I dont know that we can be fixed. Its a
real possibility that I am a dead end.
He sat back in his seat and stared straight ahead. My heart breaks into a thousand pieces at the
words hes just confessed. The truth so raw, yet wrapped in so much anger and frustration that even
with the honesty Id been needing I know that we are still so far apart. I know that he is right. We may
never make it back.
He put the car in gear and started driving back towards the hotel. I kept my head down as we made
our way back upstairs, not wanting anyone to see my tear-stained face. We walked into the room
silently. There was so much there, hanging between us. His words were on a constant replay in my
head. I couldnt land on one thing long enough to make sense of it at all.
He doesnt say anything as he moves to his desk. Apparently he has said all he intends to say for
the moment which is fine. I needed a minute or two to process everything. I go into the bathroom to
wash my face, to find the space I need away from him. I shut the door and take a few minutes to just
take a deep breath.
I wondered if hed just been this honest with me weeks ago if we would be at this point now. If hed
talked to me then, if Id encouraged it instead of letting him work through it alone, would we have
been able to settle it before it turned into this?
I stared at myself in the mirror, my eyes were puffy and red and the truth was, I didnt recognize
myself anymore either. This was the kind of drama and angst Id reserved for fiction. It was too harsh
for real life.
I walked out and saw him instantly, staring out the window, watching the rain fall. He looked so
handsome, so strong. It made my heart twist, fighting to maintain a steady rhythm. I wasnt sure what
to do. Usually, I would go to him, wrap my arms around his waist and press my cheek to his back. But
I stopped myself. Instead I took a seat at the small table near the kitchenette. It was only then that I
noticed the small bouquet of daisies. My throat tightened and it was suddenly very hard to swallow.
These simple flowers, bright and cheerful seemed to mock me now. I heard Keaton saying how hed
chosen them because they last so much longer than a week. I felt the tears fill my eyes again as I
realized that maybe we should have stuck to tulips after all.
Ive always believed that people come into your life for a reason. Each person, no matter how long
they stay, teaches you something. I had been certain that Keaton was my lesson in being brave, my
lesson in adventure and taking chances. At first I thought it was about me learning to jump first and
ask questions later. Lately, Id thought that maybe it was me who was supposed to remind him of these
very same things.
Now, I was starting to wonder if his real lesson was teaching me how to let go. Maybe you cant
expect things to last forever. You have to let them run their course and then be brave enough to step
away when theyve given you everything they can.

Just the thought had me wanting to crumble to the floor. I watched him as he moved from the
window and to the desk that held his laptop and a bunch of folders and papers. He glanced over at me,
but didnt say anything. We were back to silence. Back to the wall. It felt higher and stronger than it
ever had.
Maybe he had been right. Maybe Id been looking for something he couldnt give me. Maybe Id
take us both down waiting for something that would never come. He had finally been honest with me.
Now I had to be honest with myself.
"I can't do this anymore," I said softly. The words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them.
Maybe it was some sort of survival instinct, where the body just takes over to get you out of
something that is going to end you. Because right now, it felt like I was precariously balanced on the
edge of something I was unequipped to navigate. My heart burned. It sped up. It felt sluggish as it tried
to remember how to beat.
This is what broken felt like, the sharp splintering, the ache that settled into every nerve, the ragged
inhale of each breath as I tried in vain to find calm. It was crippling.
"Do what, Quinn?" he asked, the annoyance in his tone becoming too familiar. His tone left me
cold and instantly lonely. His eyes found mine, locking in with a cold stare. I tried to return it, cold
was better than hurt. But I couldn't manage it. This kind of warfare was too much for me.
"What's with the sad puppy dog eyes? What did I do now?" he asked. I swallowed hard, trying to
steady myself so that my voice wouldn't shake.
"I don't understand you," I managed.
He rolled his eyes and turned away from me. And that was it. That was the moment I gave up. He
was right. We couldnt fix it. I may never understand completely the things that had turned this man
from the warm amazing man I'd fallen in love with to this hard, jaded angry man who no longer had
any patience for me. I would have done anything for him. I had gone all in. That was my mistake.
I watched as he moved stuff around on his desk, looking busy and not bothering to respond to me
at all. His back was to me, the lines of his hard muscles tense. I could see from here that his breathing
was unsteady. Was he angry? I envied him if he was. Anger was full of passion. I didn't even have the
ability to be angry right now. I was too devastated. All I felt was loss.
I didn't want to cry in front of him. Not again. He wouldn't care about my tears. Not this man. Not
this version. I longed to have him turn around and see the eyes I knew so well, the ones that had
protected me.
But he didn't turn around. He didn't say anything. He ignored me. Like I was nothing. And it broke
me.
I stood from my seat and I willed my feet to move. The air in the room was so thin that I could
only manage shallow breaths.
I needed to leave. I didn't feel like I had control of my body at this point, but it was as if it knew to
take over. My jacket was on the chair, where I'd left it earlier. After he'd swung me around and kissed
me like we were in some movie. It felt that way now. Like make believe. Like fiction.
I gave him one last look, trying to decide if I wanted to see his face one more time. It was probably
best if I didn't. As it was, that cold stare would be the only thing I remembered. I moved towards the
door, each step seemed to take a lifetime. My limbs were so heavy; it was like walking through
quicksand. One more step. One more step. I coached myself
As I hit the doorway his voice pulled me to stop. "Where are you going?" It was rough, deep and
full of emotion. I didn't want to turn to see which one. At this point it didn't really matter. My teeth
sunk into my lip until I could feel the sharp bite of the pain. It grounded me. It was something I could
focus on besides the way my heart seemed to be ripping apart from the walls of my chest.
When I didn't turn around he said my name. It felt like a bullet. His voice was a weapon. I told

myself to keep walking, to ignore him. "Turn around," he demanded and there was an audible shake in
his voice. It convinced me to turn around. As soon as I had, I wished that I hadn't. The cold mask had
shifted and in its place was confusion and regret. His eyes met mine and I saw the instant he saw my
resolve. I saw the moment he knew that I was done.
His chin fell to his chest and he sagged with the breath he released.
"You're leaving." It wasn't a question.
"There is no reason for me to stay," I said, my voice so low I wasn't sure he even heard me. It
echoed in my ears. It didn't sound like me at all. I waited for him to say something. I waited for him to
tell me to stay, to stop me, to try and change my mind.
He didn't. He didn't say another word. He didn't even look at me. I waited a long moment. Part of
me still hoping, still trying to figure it all out, to put the pieces back together, but it was no use. He'd
stopped fighting for this long before this moment.
It broke me further.
I wish Id never fallen in love with you, I said softly. The words were out before I could stop
them. I watched him flinch, but still he said nothing. Still he didnt bother to look up.
I should probably say goodbye, put some kind of closure on this crazy journey. Didn't it deserve
some sort of farewell? After all of the moments we'd shared, didn't we owe it something? How do
you walk away from something that owned your heart and not even say goodbye? How do you walk
away at all?
How could he not look at me? How could he shut me out so completely? Hadn't I meant something,
anything?
Questions like that didn't matter. They just furthered the damage.
In the end I decided not to say goodbye. I didn't say anything else. What was there left to say? I
allowed myself one last look, one last moment to take him in and remember what it had been like
when we were happy.
Then I decided that none of it made this moment worth it.
I pulled in a breath and let it out slowly, and turned to walk out of the room. Luckily my bag was
still sitting by the front door. I grabbed the handle and l walked out.
Away from the life I thought I had, away from the man I loved, away from everything I thought I'd
wanted. And as my hand lifted to stop a passing cab the tears finally broke free of the dam that had
held them at bay. Their steady stream writing the only story that mattered.



I WOULD NEVER commit suicide. Not because I could never give up on this life, but because I
wouldn't have the balls. It takes guts to end something. To put that permanent mark on it, to decide that
there is no hope to be found, that it will never get better. I try to imagine what it would feel like to
know that ending it was your only choice. To walk away from something as amazing as life and feel
confident that it was the right decision.
I couldn't do it.
I think I would just wander aimlessly, living in some sort of bitter void until everyone else wrote
me off.
How do I know this? Because it's already my M.O.
I realize I shouldn't compare my relationship woes to something so important. Obviously
something like a broken heart doesn't compare to the utter devastation that someone in that situation
feels, but watching Quinn leave me has me feeling dramatic and philosophical. And honestly, the
moment when I saw that look on her face and realized she'd given up on me, that her hope in me, in
us, was gone . . . well, it had felt like the end.
And it was all my fault.
I didn't deserve her. I knew that.
I could have gone after her, but what good would it have done? I could tell her that I was sorry. I
could promise to be better, to change, but those would be empty promises. I couldn't give her what she
needed. I would always get in my own way and we both knew that.
I wouldn't run after her just to make the same mistakes. I wouldn't hurt her more than I already had.
Id laid it all out for her and shed made the choice.
I had to let her leave. And this time I had to let her stay gone.
I had to trust that she knew what was best for her heart.
It didnt stop the regret that sat heavy in my chest.
I threw the vase of daisies against the wall.
I watched for hours as the water painted designs on the expensive paint and then I left the flowers
there among the shattered glass, packed my bag and headed home.

WHEN I STROLLED up to the apartment door with my sad suitcase rolling behind me Lily was there
to greet me with a bottle of wine in one hand and a bottle of tequila in the other.
"I wasn't sure which level we were going to need," she explained with a sad smile. I loved her. I
shut the door and went straight into her arms, letting loose all of the emotions that I'd been trying to
keep tucked away. I'd done my best to survive on autopilot, trading my ticket in for an earlier flight,
shuffling through security. I'd sent Lily a text right before I boarded that had simply said: I'm coming

home. It's over. Then I had turned my phone off, not wanting to risk the chance of seeing anything
from him come across my screen. Or maybe I didn't want to risk nothing coming across my screen.
That would be worse, to know that I'd left and he didn't care at all.
But I already knew there would be nothing. I knew because he hadn't tried to stop me. He hadn't
even looked up to watch me leave. That cut the deepest. How had I been so wrong about things? How
had I become so blinded? I had always played by the rules, made the smart choice -- until Keaton. Id
risked, Id lost. I guess it happens to everyone at some point in their life, but this was most definitely
not a feeling I ever wanted to repeat.
I felt lost, broken, and more vulnerable than I'd ever been. It's one thing to be vulnerable and feel
safe and cared for. That sets you free. It's an all together different thing to be vulnerable and face
rejection. It scars, you bleed and it feels like you will never truly recover.
"I'm sorry, Quinn. You want to tell me what happened?" Lily's voice was calm and soothing. She
was treating me like I was a frightened animal. And I guess in a way I was. I definitely felt skittish.
The tears streamed down my face, unabashed and beyond my control now that I was home. I cried
into Lily's shoulder for a long while, right there in the entryway, unable to venture in any further.
She continued to say soothing words, smoothing my hair like a child until I was calm enough to be
released from her hold. She gave me a careful once over, maybe she was looking for the broken
pieces, the jagged edges that were sure to be jutting out from my skin.
"Come in, I'll pour you a shot and you can tell me what happened--if you want to," she amended
quickly. I gave her a tiny nod and followed her into the kitchen. I pulled out the barstool and Lily
rounded the counter so that she was facing me.
"What's your poison?" she asked. I pointed to the tequila. I wanted to feel numb and that was a sure
fire way to get me there quickly. I watched as she poured us each a shot.
"Lime?" she asked.
"No need for frills," I said downing the shot before she could join me. I shrugged at her raised
eyebrow.
I took a deep breath as she waited for me to explain what happened. I didn't even know where to
begin, so I just jumped into the middle.
"I just couldn't do it anymore. I thought I could be strong enough for both of us. I just couldnt.
Hes just been so different and he finally just let it all out and I realized that there wasnt a place for
me anymore. We werent ever going to be on the same page again. Its like part of him wanted to
pretend it was okay, but when I called him out on it he just kind of went off on me. He wanted to push
me away.
"What did he say when you told him you were leaving?" she asked.
I shook my head, tears pooling in my eyes again, "Nothing. He didn't say anything. He just let me
walk out. He didn't even look at me, Lil."
I watched her jaw tighten and I knew she was probably plotting his painful death right then.
"You know what gets me the most? The thing I keep thinking about over and over?" She squeezed
my hand and let me continue. "He loved me. I know that he did. But he didn't know how to be in love.
He didn't know how to be that person. But after this, he'll know. I'll be the practice relationship, the
one where he makes all the mistakes and learns how to be better. He'll meet someone new and he'll
know. He'll fall in love again and he won't hide from it. He won't let it walk out the door. He'll be
happy. He'll make her happy. I keep thinking about her and hating her and she doesn't even exist yet," I
admitted.
"You know you'll find that person too. You will be happy again. I know it doesn't feel that way now,
but I know it," she offered.
I gave her a weak smile. She was so worried about me. Worried that I'd go back to my guarded,

logical self and use this as an excuse to never jump again. Maybe she was right. I had no idea what
tomorrow was going to bring with it. I couldn't think about any of that yet. "Maybe. Right now I just
want to hide out for a little bit. Find my balance. Learn to breathe through it."
"I'm right here with you," she said pulling me into a hug. I held on, taking her comfort to help
rebuild my strength. Because that's the thing about best friends, they are your anchors. They refuse to
let you sink.

I WAS MOPING. My new favorite pastime was kicking my own ass for being a moron. For turning
away from the best thing I'd ever had. If it wasn't so pathetic it might be poetic. I was supposed to feel
better. The tug-of-war was gone. I didnt have to decide anymore. She was gone. It was done.
Someone forgot to tell my heart that it was a good thing.
The streets had become my friend. It was my solace, to walk and get lost in the crowds, lost in my
thoughts. It felt like if I could just walk far enough I might find the place where I could figure out my
next step. Quinn never left my thoughts, whether she was there in memory or in regret. It really just
depended on my level of self pity.
I had no one to blame but myself. Even Miles was tired of pretending otherwise. He'd finally laid
into me one night when he'd found me in some tucked away honky tonk that I'd stumbled into. I'd
texted him to join me in my misery and he'd found me there practically crying in my beer. It wasnt
entirely my fault. Have you heard country songs? Like have you really listened to them? The lyrics
will rip a man's guts out. They did mine. I sat there listening to some guy on the jukebox sing about a
girl being like a perfect storm, a mix of sun and hurricane and I felt pretty positive that he'd written
the damn thing about Quinn. I gave him five bucks to play it again.
Fuck, I missed that girl.
Miles had huffed as he grabbed the chair back and sat across from me.
"Dude, you have got to get it together. Pathetic is not working for you," he had said. I growled in
response and continued to think about Quinn and rain and memories of rain slicked skin on rooftops.
"You want her back, go get her back. The girl loves you, though seeing you here like this I can't
imagine why she does," he said.
"She doesn't want me back. You didn't see her when she left. She was done. She gave up. I pushed
her away. I practically shoved her out the door," I mumbled.
"You are such a chick. What happened to my brother? No holds barred, the go-after-what-youwant-asshole that always gets what he wants?"
"I don't deserve her," I said, the truth burning a path down my throat.
"Not like this you don't. All you deserve now is a shower and a clean shirt. Shit, have you even
showered this week?"
"You're an asshole," I spit. When I wasn't moping I wanted to kick things. Miles had been on the
other side of it more than once and I knew he was losing his patience with me.
He laughed, unfazed. I went back to drinking my beer.
"Seriously, I still don't get what happened." I stared at the table without answering him. I didn't
either. Only that I was a coward. Didn't that say it all really?
That had been three days ago and I was still walking and wandering. As I rounded the corner to
make my way back to my apartment the clouds that had threatened all day finally let loose a deluge of
water. I looked up into the drops as they fell, letting them drench me straight to my core.

I'm sure I looked like a crazy person, standing there in the rain laughing at the sky, relishing in the
fact that as the rain fell I could feel her all around me. Somewhere in the back of my mind I realized
that that indeed might actually make me a crazy person. But there was something about it, about the
rain and the way it was ferociously wrapping around me that felt cleansing. It was almost as if the
cobwebs were melting away and my head was starting to clear.
Miles was right. This wasn't me. I went after what I wanted. I didn't sit around in self pity about it. I
had shit to figure out. There was one way I knew how to do that and it wasn't walking around the city
like Forest Gump.
I shook the rain from my hair and hurried down the street towards home. When I made it upstairs I
stripped off my wet shirt, kicked off my jeans, dumping them in the washing machine and grabbing a
towel to scrub my wet hair. Then I walked straight into my office, hit the power button on my laptop
and took a seat.
It was time to write.



THE CALL I'D been waiting for came three weeks later, when I was on my way home from yoga. I'd
started it up again thinking it would help clear my head. Turns out it was good at getting rid of a lot of
the head garbage. So much so that when the New York number flashed across my screen I didn't give
it a second thought before answering it.
"This is Quinn," I answered cheerfully.
"Ms. Ryan, my name is Julie Barnett. I'm the human resources manager here at McLean and
Matthews Publishing. Do you have a moment to talk?"
My heart began to pound in my chest. This was it. My future could hang on the next few minutes
and whatever it was that Julie Barnett had to say.
"Of course, it's good to hear from you," I managed hoping that I sounded professional and not like
a nervous twelve year old girl.
"I'm calling regarding the interview that you had with us awhile back. We have an editorial
assistant job that I'd like to offer you if you are still interested in employment with us,"
My smile was instant, as were the butterflies that had just taken flight in my stomach.
"Oh, yes, I am still interested," I managed. I know I sounded eager, I didn't care. This was a big
deal. The beginning of me making my big move and starting the path that would let me do what I'd
always dreamed about.
"Oh wonderful, I will email you over the offer letter. Please take a look at it and contact me with
any questions or your official acceptance," she said.
"I will. Thank you very much, Ms. Barnett." I was doing my best to hold it together, but as soon as I
hit the end button on my phone I was squealing and doing a happy dance, right there in my car. This
moment was full of promise and it had me on a high.
That high lasted just long enough for me to remember that that I was finally moving to New York
and Keaton wouldn't be there to welcome me. I was still happy and excited, but part of my dream had
been to finally be there with him, to be able to walk in the park or watch movies with him on a
Tuesday. Now, he would just be a face among millions, a face I wouldn't see.
I shook off the melancholy that was threatening to take away my happy moment. There would be
no thinking of the past today. There was no room for what ifs, only right nows. This dream was
independent of Keaton Harris and I wouldn't let him take it away from me. This moment was about
more than him.

MY FAMILY WAS both thrilled and sad to see me make my move. Dad grumbled about finding
someone to go to the games with him. Mom cried because her baby was all grown up. Dad bought me
mace and a stun gun "just in case." I loved my parents.

Lily was another story. Leaving her was like leaving behind part of myself. We had been
inseparable since the 1st grade. She was my person, my light, my cheerleader. Not having her there
every single day was going to be hard.
She wasn't going to let me question it though. There was no going back. When I told her that I'd
gotten the job she'd immediately made me a playlist full of songs about New York. She said to listen
to it until I found my anthem.
I listened to it as I finished packing up the giant suitcases that would carry everything I owned to
New York. Mostly clothes, my laptop and a few photos. Everything else was going into storage. New
York didn't come with space.
As Billy Joel faded out of Uptown Girl and Taylor Swift started in about finding yourself in the
city, I took a glance around the room. The walls were bare, everything in boxes and packed away.
Eventually someone else would share this space with Lily. Eventually, this room would belong to
someone new. It was both a little sad and exciting at the same time. For someone who hated the
unknown, I was surprised at how thrilling it felt. Sure I still wanted to throw up when I thought about
the details, but the big picture was thrilling.
I wandered out to the living room to find Lily. She was sitting at the dining room table finishing up
some work. I sat down on the couch and tucked my legs under me. "I'm hungry. Are you almost done?
You want to order some take out?" I asked.
"Just finishing. I can't look at this anymore. You want pizza? Chinese?" she asked as she closed the
lid of her computer, stood and stretched. This was our routine and I took a moment to soak it in. Burn
the image in my mind so that I never forgot.
"Chinese," I offered.
Lily grabbed the menu from the fridge and made her way into the living room.
"I can't believe you are leaving. Seriously, how am I going to function without you around?" Lily
whined as she flopped down onto the couch dramatically.
I laughed, even though I felt exactly the same way. "You are so busy you'll hardly know I'm not
here. Besides, I'm still going to talk to you every day," I said.
"I know. It's just not the same," she pouted. We'd had this conversation so many times over the last
few weeks. She shared my excitement at the new job and had been relentless in her quest to get me
clothes that were New York ready. I had been more concerned with finding a place I could afford and
what I would be able to fit into my future tiny apartment.
I'd lucked out though; the HR manager that had hired me had given me the name of one of my
future co-workers who was looking for a new roommate. We'd talked and she seemed nice and more
importantly she didn't seem crazy. So I'd agreed. The idea of living with a stranger made my stomach
twist with nerves. I'd only ever lived with Lily and she was family.
This was definitely going to be an adjustment. There was so much change. But it was a good
distraction. New job, new people, new life. It helped keep my mind off the old parts that had left me
broken. I tried to ignore the fact that I was moving to the same city where Keaton lived. I told myself it
didn't matter because the chances of running into him in a city packed with millions of people was
highly unlikely. And it's not like we ran in the same circles. Not anymore.
I would just pretend that he didn't exist. That was the plan I had settled on. Pretend none of it had
happened, pretend he didn't exist at all. It worked, most of the time. At least on the surface.
"So, this Erin girl, you know she can't replace me, right?" Lily asked, pulling me from my
thoughts.
I laughed. "Don't worry, Lil, I won't replace you," I assured her.
"Good. Shit, I'm going to miss you so much. I can't believe that you leave tomorrow. I'm not
ready," she said, slipping back into her dramatics.

I sat down on the couch beside her, feeling the squeeze on my heart. Leaving her behind was going
to be just as tough as leaving my parents. I tried to swallow back the tears that had been threatening
me for a week.
"You know, I'm really proud of you," she said quietly.
I glanced over at her, the light catching the tear that threatened to fall. I had a feeling we were both
about to lose the battle.
"You're being brave. I know it's hard for you to go somewhere new and start this new exciting life.
I'm just so proud of you for taking the chance. I know you're going to do amazing things there," she
said.
I smiled and leaned against her, taking comfort in this woman who had become a sister to me.
"I couldn't have done any of it without you," I admitted.
"Nah, that's where you are wrong, Quinny. You've always had this in you. You've always been
meant for adventures like this. You've just been getting ready for them all these years."
"I love you," I said as the tears threatened to become sobs.
"Mean it," she replied, in the same way she had since we were kids. "Now, let's get you some egg
rolls," she sniffed, throwing her arms around me and giving me a hug.
I was really going to miss her.

I WAS A MAN possessed. I didn't shower, I barely ate. I closed out the entire world and sat at my
computer pouring over the words. I'd started this manuscript way back in San Francisco. I'd gone back
to it over the months, mostly using it as a self indulgent story where Quinn played my heroine. I'd
played with the idea of turning it into something, even posting random teasers here and there. But
honestly I'd done that just so she would see them. It was like dedicating a song on the radio, only I did
it through fiction and social media. It had been a private game between us.
But now--now it had taken on a life of its own. The story began to tell itself. I changed it up enough
to protect her, but really, this was our story. Every detail, every emotion I'd felt being around her was
there. I had never felt so connected to the words that I'd written. It was as if each one weaved itself into
my soul, becoming a part of me, owning me. I wrote because there was no other choice. I wrote
because my heart needed it. I had thought it was a purge, but in the end it had become an acceptance.
My heart belonged to her. I'd just been too stubborn to admit it, too afraid to accept that she owned me.
That I was indeed completely in love with her. The real kind. The forever kind.
I could have just called her. I could have shown up at her door and admitted it. But I was so tied to
this project that I never did. I know that sounds crazy. But this project had become more about the
journey for me. It wasn't just about us, or her . . . it was about me. It was my self discovery.
And for that reason I had to finish it. Even if I never did anything else with it, I had to finish it.
It didn't take that long. Like I said, I was a man possessed. And when I typed the final words and sat
back I felt like I could finally breathe again. It wasnt just that Id found my voice or that Id found a
way to finally sort through all of the issues that had kept me so tangled up with regret, it was that by
writing this book I had found my truth.



I WAS SCARED, making this big step and moving across the country was by far the biggest thing Id
ever done on my own. The city was so intimidating and I wasn't really sure if I was cut out for it. I was
truly leaving my comfort zone. Part of me wished that Lily was coming with me. She kept talking
about it, packing her stuff and following me. I liked the idea of us conquering New York together.
But, she'd taken a job back home that she was excited about and really, I knew that I needed to do this
on my own. This was my dream, my future, and I couldn't always rely on my security blanket, or on
Lily, to push me forward when I wanted to hide. Not that she was going to let that happen, even if she
was eleven hundred miles away.
The cab parked outside the building that I would now call home. It was a little run down and my
apartment was on the 5th floor, but I was okay with it. At least I would be getting some exercise in
each day. I paid the cab fare and grabbed my giant suitcases and prepared to haul them up. It was a
little metaphoric really, like climbing a mountain to start a new life. I felt like I'd been climbing for
months.
Ending things with Keaton had changed me. Hell, everything with Keaton had changed me. The
good and the bad. I'd found a strength that I hadn't known that I had. I guess that's one good thing about
falling to the bottom. When you reach that low where things are crumbling and you hurt like you've
never hurt before, you have to find a way to climb out of it. You have to fight, scrape, and claw your
way out of the despair until you can finally see the light again. That journey back to life is hard and
you don't come back out the same person. I liked to think I'd come out of it a better person.
That's not to say I didn't still have my weak moments or that I didn't think about him. I did. I thought
about him a lot. When I lay awake at night I always thought of us. I remembered every moment and it
was easy to run it through my head like a movie. I would always wonder what had happened, I would
always have questions, but I'd found a place where I could continue on without them weighing me
down.
I pushed the buzzer at the front door and waited. People rushed past me on the sidewalk, never
paying me any attention. It occurred to me that this was the perfect city to get lost in.
"Quinn, is that you?" I smiled at the bubbly voice on the other end.
"It's me," I confirmed.
"Hang on just a sec; I'll be right down to help you carry all of your stuff in." I heard the door buzz
as it unlocked and I worked to pull my suitcases inside. A few minutes later a girl about my age came
bounding down the stairs. I'd seen her in pictures so I knew it was Erin.
She was tall, slim, and even in the cut off shorts and over-sized sweatshirt she looked like she
could have just walked off the pages of a magazine. I felt a twinge of uncertainty until she gave me a
big genuine smile.
"Hi," she greeted me, giving me a hug like we'd known each other for years. I liked that. She was
genuine. "Sorry, I'm a hugger. It's the Oklahoma in me. I can't help it. It never goes away," she
laughed.
"It's okay," I laughed. "Thanks for helping me. I tried to pack light, but stuffing your entire life into
a few suitcases is tougher than I thought," I admitted.

"Trust me, I get it," she smiled. "Come on, let's get you settled."
The apartment was small, but it wasn't as bad as I had expected. I had pictured cracker box. This
was more cozy and eclectic. The entry was narrow and led into a tiny square room with a couch, a
chair and a TV attached to the wall. Erin had it decorated in grays and yellows and it felt warm and
homey.
A tiny kitchen, about the size of my parent's pantry sat just off the living room. One person would
have trouble in there. This must be why people in New York ate out all the time.
"My room is here," she said, her hand on the doorjamb. "And you are over here, next door," she
said pointing to the door on the other side of the television. I moved to take a look and couldn't help
but smile when I saw that my room was about the size of the kitchen. I didn't mind though. It was
perfect. There was a double bed with soft linens and a tiny dresser crammed in beside it.
"The dresser makes a good desk," Erin smiled.
"Thank you for letting me stay here. I appreciate it. I love it," I smiled.
"Well, it takes some getting used to, but it works. Why don't you get settled and then we can go
grab some food and get to know each other," she suggested.
"Yeah, okay," I agreed.
Erin left me to examine my tiny room and I was grateful to have the moment to take it all in. I was
here, in New York. I'd jumped. I felt optimistic and excited about it. I grabbed one of my suitcases and
hauled it up to my bed. Might as well unpack and settle in a little. Having my stuff out would help me
feel more at home.
It didn't take long to empty my suitcases. And there wasn't much room to decorate, so once it was
put away I sat down on the bed, my back against the wall as I looked around my new home. It's funny,
it made me feel like I was truly starting a new life. So much of what I knew was so far away, my safety
net was gone. The only person I knew in this city was Erin, and I had known her all of an hour. I
ignored the small voice inside that reminded me that there was one other person in New York that I
knew quite well, or had, once upon a different time.
Work started in two days. I was anxious to get there and dive into it. There was so much changing
and the logical side of me needed to see it all in person so I could put it all in its new proper place.
When it came to the roommate lottery I was pretty sure I'd hit the jackpot. Erin was really easy to
get along with and we seemed to have a lot in common. We'd spent those first two days getting to
know each other. She took me around the city, teaching me how to use the subway and what places to
steer clear of.
She'd worked at McLean and Matthews Publishing for over a year now and she seemed to really
like it. She gave me the low down on some of the people I'd meet and a little heads up on the way
things went. I liked having the information. It left me feeling prepared.
We ordered pizza on Sunday night and ate it on the couch in our yoga pants and socks, watching
romantic comedies on Netflix and talking about our favorite books. I loved book talk, and someone
who was willing to talk with me about the characters like they were real people, living through real
situations was gold in my book. Because, let's face it, if a book is good then those characters become
real. You live with them and through them. You mourn with them, you laugh with them. Each one is
made up of parts of us, it's why we latch on and highlight and feel completely abandoned once we
reach the last page.
Erin had that same fire in her when it came to reading, so there was an instant bond. I only wished
that Lily could be here with me. I think she would have liked Erin too.
The nice thing about working with your roommate is that you don't have to walk into the new job
alone. You already have a friend. I remember when I was in first grade and I had had to change
schools. I had walked into my classroom that first day scared to death that I wouldn't make any

friends. Everyone seemed to have their group already and they were all chattering, a few casting
curious looks my direction, but nothing more. I had wanted to cry and run back out into the hall to
find my mom. I didn't want to start a new school. I didn't want to have to make friends with these new
kids. But then a girl with dark curls and a blue sundress pranced over to me and introduced herself as
Lily McCandless and asked if I wanted to be her friend. It had made the rest of the day easier. She had
been there for me from day one.
Now it was Erin walking me in and showing me where the HR office was and promising to come
find me for lunch later. It took a lot of the pressure off and let me just enjoy the excitement of starting
my first grown-up job.
This was my adventure. My beginning. And I was going into it my eyes open to every possibility.

I WAS ADAPTING to my new home. My nerves had started to settle and the crowds around made me
more excited than nervous now. I wanted to submerge myself into the whole thing.
I stood on the busy sidewalk, people rushing past me, each one on a mission. New York was a city
of individuals. What I mean is each person seemed to exist in their own bubble. Or rather, it was as if
each person was the star of their own movie, surrounded by millions of side characters and extras.
You could get lost in the crowd in an instant. It was an odd sensation. A little bit lonely, but also
empowering.
Suddenly, I was hit with a memory. Sitting with Keaton on that bench back in San Francisco
looking over the bay, he'd told me about how he liked to explore, how he liked to get lost in place he
didn't know. The recollection made me smile and for the first time I felt like I had found a place that I
wanted to get lost in. I wanted to explore, dive in, all alone. I smiled as I looked up and down the
street, taking in the faces of strangers all with a set destination. Maybe they were getting lost too.
Maybe this entire city was home to transplants like me, trying to be brave, trying to find themselves
by getting lost.
It was an awfully Hallmark way to think, but I was okay with that. I stepped into the flow of
pedestrians and I began to walk. I had no plan, no destination and the idea thrilled me. I slipped my
earbuds in and turned on Lily's New York playlist. It made me feel like I was in my own music video
and a few songs in I wondered if I had a big goofy grin on my face as I imagined it. Then, I
remembered where I was and realized no one would care if I did.
I walked for an hour, up and down city blocks, wandering into little shops and checking out street
vendors. Erin had warned me about them, telling me that I'd be jaded before long. But for now it was
all new and exciting and I soaked it all up.
It was late afternoon before I started back towards the apartment. And as I walked I had a mini
revelation. This past year had been unlike any other in my history. I'd experienced more in that short
time than I had in all of my 23 years. I had changed. I had let go. I had learned so much. And as I
reflected on it all I realized something else.
I've learned that you can survive a broken heart. What's more you can even emerge a better person
for it. I never would have believed that had you told me this a year ago. After all, I've always felt more
comfortable on the safe side. Risk and broken hearts never felt worth it. There was too much to lose. I
always feared that I would lose myself.
I never imagined that could be a good thing. Losing myself. I never imagined that I would meet
someone like Keaton Harris. Someone who challenged me, pushed me, made me step off of the curb

and away from the sidelines and live fully. Live without fear or regret, without questions.
I had lost myself. I had lost the old me and that wasn't such a bad thing. I had lost myself in him and
now that he was gone from my life I still carried all of those new pieces of myself with me. I still
carried him with me. I still felt him every single day. Perhaps I always would.
Maybe it wasn't about the heartbreak or surviving the pain that made you emerge better, but the
person who had moved you so deeply that you could no longer live without the marks that they had
made.
The thought made me smile and the fact that I could smile, even as my heart still ached for him,
told me that no matter how ugly the ending, the journey had been worth it. It's possible that some
people aren't meant for lasting roles in our life. Sometimes their presence is swift, yet so meaningful
that it changes your whole world into brilliant color.
Who would have thought I would have this attitude? Certainly not the girl who had left that hotel
room without so much as a goodbye. That girl hadn't expected a shattered heart could heal. No way
could her kind of patchwork healing lead her here, to this city, to this new brave adventure. Sure, I
would have had the adventure without him probably, but I don't know that I would have learned to
embrace it the way that I did now.
I walked through my new city, lost in my own revelations and grabbing hold of the adventure that
had found its way into my spirit. Today was about getting lost and learning who I was on the way
back.



HAVE YOU EVER had that moment where you see a ghost from your past somewhere far from
where they are supposed to be? That moment where your heart leaps from your chest, your breath
catches as you start to call out their name only as you realize you must be seeing someone else?
Seeing them in a stranger because you just miss them so much? After all, it couldn't be them.
It couldn't be her.
Only it was. It wasn't the ghost that had been haunting me since the moment she walked away. She
was real. Flesh. Blood. Pure laughter. She was standing next to another girl, sipping on coffee and
laughing -- head thrown back laughing. The sound rained down on me, a mixture of joy and whimsy
and I closed my eyes soaking it in.
I wanted to go to her. I would have gone to her. But shit, she was happy. So unlike the last time I
had seen her. That simple fact held me in place, a voyeur, an observer -- a stranger.
Seeing her there, from afar, I was struck by her beauty. My memory had not held up to the reality.
Memories had dulled the images in my mind, self protection probably, because seeing her now, I was
overtaken with a powerful ache in my chest that I was sure would end me if I had to survive much
longer without her.
I needed to go to her. I wanted to find out why she was in the city and tell her all of the things that
I'd been aching to tell her. I wanted to go to her now and purge every emotion vibrating through my
body.
Something stopped me. It was that smile on her face. The one that sparked in her eye, the way she
clutched her stomach as she laughed.
I leaned forward, my elbows on the table as I watched them talk. She was different. Different, but
exactly the same. Different from the girl who had walked out on me in Seattle, more like the girl I'd
been dumbstruck by in San Francisco.
I loved seeing her that way; so alive, so free. But it was followed by a sinking realization. She was
happy without me. It's not that I wanted her to be falling apart like I had been, I wanted more for her.
But the idea that she'd moved on, that she'd let us go, cut me deep. Because now I was in it alone.

I STARED AT the completed manuscript on my screen. Uploaded. Ready to go. I felt nervous about
the idea of hitting the button that would send it out into the world. It wasnt about the world seeing the
words; it was about her seeing them. I wanted her to see them. I needed her to see them. But honesty is
hard when it's this raw.
This was easily the hardest thing Id ever written. But somehow it was also the most effortless. It
was my heart, my broken pieces and my every hope weaved into the words of this story. It was my
story. It was our story. No one would know, except for her. She would know. This whole book was my

message to her.
All I could do was hope that she read it. I needed her to know. I'd fucked up a lot when it came to
Quinn. I'd hurt her, I'd pushed her away after I'd convinced her to stay. I needed her to know that I
regretted it. I needed her to know that I thought about her every day. Most of all, I needed her to know
that I loved her.
There were no guarantees that she would read it; the girl was stubborn. She'd probably ignore it
just because she could. I hoped that she couldn't. I needed her to read it. If no one else in the entire
world read it, I needed her to. Maybe it was selfish of me to put it all out there and hope that no one
would see through it, but Ive always known I was selfish.
I took a deep breath and clicked publish. It was gone. Within a few hours my surprise book would
be live and my soul would be bared to an unknowing public. I felt a quiet calm take over, drifting over
me in the quiet of the night. I closed the lid on my computer and took a deep breath, letting out the
nerves and accepting that I'd done what Id needed to do.
I smiled as I looked down at the print out of the cover art. It had turned out just the way that I had
imagined it. The cover was dark, a man sitting in shadow, bent over with his elbows on his knees. He
was lost, defeated, just as I had been when she'd left. In his hand he held a single white daisy, its petals
no longer perfect, but still holding on, still fighting with life. Then, there was the title, in bold script,
running across the top of the page. One word that said it all:
Apology.

I WAS READING past my bedtime when my computer dinged with an incoming Skype call. Lily. I
smiled and thanked God for technology. I waved as her image took over the screen.
"Hey, Lil, what's up?" I asked. She looked concerned. It made my heart flutter with a twinge of
worry.
"Have you seen it?" Lily's voice came out low and calm, like she was afraid of my reaction.
"Have I seen what?" I asked.
She chewed on her bottom lip as she contemplated how to deliver whatever news she had.
Honestly, it looked like she was preparing to deliver a harsh blow.
"Lily, what's going on? You're freaking me out," I laughed, nervously.
"Are you sitting down? You need to see something," she said. She pulled out her phone and started
working the screen to find whatever it was that was so important for me to see. Her gaze found mine,
as she prepared to turn the phone to me. "It's Keaton," she warned.
Shit. What was she about to show me? Was it him and some new girl? I didn't need, nor did I want,
to see that. "Lily, I don't--." I tried to turn away. I didn't need this distraction. I was working at getting
over whatever we had been. I didn't need constant reminders of what he was doing now or who he was
doing it with.
"Wait," Lily demanded. She shoved the phone at the camera. It wasn't Keaton. At least not a photo
of him. It was a book cover.
"What is this?" I asked squinting at the screen so that I could get a better look.
"He released it last night. No one knew it was happening. Miles didnt even know he was doing it,"
she said.
I stared at the screen. The cover was beautiful. The model looked a lot like the guy I had known,
but it was the daisy that held my attention, causing my heart to pound painfully against my chest. Tears

pricked my eyes. The title, Apology. What was this? What did it mean?
"Are you okay?" Lily asked.
I shook my head as her face came back into view. I was glad; I didn't want to look at it anymore. It
had knocked me unsteady. "What's it about?" I asked quietly.
Lily tilted her head to the side, giving me a look that suggested that I was crazy. I felt a little crazy
right now. I definitely didn't feel in control at the moment.
"Are you going to read it?" she asked quietly.
"No. Why would I read it? It's over. I don't need to read it," I said, squaring my shoulders.
"But don't you want to? I mean it has to be meant for you, right?" she asked carefully.
Could it be meant for me? The idea seemed preposterous. I mean talk about over-the-top. But that
cover. That title. It all made my heart ache.
"No. I can't go back there."
"I guess I can understand that. Should I not have shown you?" she asked.
I shook my head, "No. I would have seen it anyway. It's fine. I just feel a little rattled," I admitted.
Lily took a deep breath and I watched as she squared her shoulders. I recognized her trying to
change the mood, help me shake off the cloud that had settled in around me. "Try and forget it. Just
stay off social media for awhile and do your best not to think about it," she said. It was a great plan. I
wasn't sure it was one that I could follow though. Despite my claims, I was already itching to read it.
How could I not? It was the biggest temptation sitting right in front of me, I knew it would be bad for
me, I knew it would hurt, but I still craved it. Because they were his words and I missed his words. I
missed his voice, his smile; I missed every single thing about him.
Lily must have seen the struggle on my face. "Are you okay, sweetie?" she asked. I nodded, still
trying to sort through it.
"I'm here if you want to stay connected. I can stay up all night to talk you off the ledge if you want,"
she smiled.
"I'll be fine. I think I'm just going to try and go to sleep," I said even though my pulse was racing
with adrenaline that I knew would keep me far away from sleep.
"You're sure?" She obviously didn't believe me, but she knew me well enough to know that I
needed to sort this one out on my own.
"I'm sure. Thanks for giving me the heads up," I said. She frowned and I managed a laugh. "Really,
its better than being surprised later," I assured her.
We said our goodbyes and I fell back against my pillows and stared up at the ceiling, the battle
already raging within me. My head warned me to stay far away from that book, but my heart craved it,
felt the necessity of knowing. Each decision seemed dangerous.
No. I wouldn't give in. I'd made too many strides at getting my life back together. I had moved
clear across the country alone and I was starting a new life. This was my time and I didn't need to go
back down that road with him. And let's be honest, cover and title aside, chances are the story was
completely random and had nothing to do with us. The idea that it did seemed completely selfindulgent.
I flipped off the light, letting the dark surround me, hoping it would shut of my brain. It only made
it louder. It was on a constant loop, it wasn't getting me anywhere.
I made it forty-two minutes before I caved.
I turned on the lamp and grabbed the Kindle off of my nightstand, my fingers tapped against the
edges nervously as I debated turning it on.
I shouldn't go anywhere near it. But I hit the power button and found the buy page anyway. I stared
at the cover until it became a blur of color with no definition. I wasn't going to buy it, but before I
could stop myself I'd hit buy and now it was sitting on my Kindle, waiting for me like the greatest

temptation I'd had since . . . well, since that first night we'd been together in San Francisco.
The words waited for me, pulling at me. I was afraid of them. I needed them. I didn't even know
what I wanted them to say. What if I read them and they had nothing to do with me, with us? What if
they had everything to do with us? I didn't know which would be best.
I clicked the page, away from the title and took a deep breath as I landed on the dedication page.

For you. It will always be you.

That's all it took. Tears pricked my eyes. I knew I had to read it. There was never any choice. I
missed him too much to ignore any of his words. And to know that these words were something more
. . . I had to. Maybe they would heal me, maybe they would shatter me. It didn't matter. I had to finish
the journey. These words had become a part of our story and I had no choice but to finish it.



THE LINE WAS long. My palms were sweating and the constant chatter around me was becoming a
hum of white noise. I kept questioning my decision to come here. Did I really want to see him face-toface, here, at a signing surrounded by strangers? I didn't know what I hoped to accomplish. Maybe I
was hoping to find the closure I'd denied myself when I'd left? Maybe I wanted to thank him for the
words he'd written about us, or maybe I just really wanted to see his face. Up close. In person.
Whatever the reason, I'd felt the pull to come here and face him.
But as the line pushed forward it left me feeling nauseated. The whole scene, me standing in this
line, holding his book, waiting like a stranger and feeling like a ghost, left me unsteady. I was getting
closer now, I couldn't see him but I could hear his laugh every now and again, breaking through the
chatter. It hit me like a freight train, the familiar tone. I closed my eyes and tried to picture his face,
the way he'd let his head fall back when he laughed like that. I nearly stepped out of the line. I nearly
changed my mind and headed for home. I wasn't ready for this.
"Oh, shit, there he is. He's even sexier in person." That was the girl three people ahead of me. My
stomach flipped. She could see him. I was so close. I let out a slow breath. I needed to see him. I
needed to replace the last image that I had. The words he had written demanded I be here. Demanded
this meeting and as much as I wanted to run away, I knew I wouldn't. I knew I couldn't.
The line moved forward. Was it moving faster now? I fidgeted, my fingers digging into the
paperback in my hands. I chewed on my lip. Two people stood in front of me now. I didn't dare look
up to see him. Even though I knew he was probably in clear view now. I could hear his voice as he
softly talked to the people at the table. I swallowed hard, unable to lift my eyes. Not yet.
"Miss, you can go up now," a voice beside me said. I looked over and into eyes of one of the
employees and gave a weak nod. It's funny, the last time I saw Keaton Harris I'd had to will my feet to
move too. I lifted my gaze, time to be a grown-up. I stepped forward and as his eyes lifted from the
table and locked onto mine my heart stumbled. That face, I'd missed that face so much.
His mouth fell open and I heard my name fall from his lips and it was as if the entire world around
me faded to black. It was only him. I never thought I'd be this close to him again, yet here he was
looking amazing and sending an avalanche of emotion down around me.
"Hi," I managed. My voice was shaky and my mouth was so dry I wasn't sure I'd get any other
words out. And then he smiled and the way it lit his face comforted me. We stared at each other,
neither of us knowing what to say. How can someone feel so familiar and yet so much of a stranger at
the same time?
"Congratulations on the book," I finally said. My voice sounded far away in my ears.
"You read it?" he asked, his voice hopeful and nervous. I couldn't help but smile, because I'd
missed that about him. That boyish uncertainty when he wasn't feeling in control of a situation.
"It was beautiful," I said softly.
He smiled, a look of relief in his eyes. "It's you," he said. I swallowed hard and tried to fight the
tightening in my throat that told me tears were on the way. I shouldn't have come here. This situation
was too hard. There were too many people to witness this reunion and it didn't feel right.
"Can I sign?" he asked, nodding to the book in my hands. I handed it over and as his fingers

brushed mine our eyes locked and I knew he'd felt the same spark that I had. He held my gaze and I
swear he was telling me a thousand things, but I couldn't hear any of them.
He scribbled something quickly and then handed me the book.
"Thank you. For the book." My voice was soft, barely a whisper. His hand moved and grabbed
mine, his fingers gripping mine.
"Keaton, we have to keep the line moving," a voice said from somewhere. I gave him a smile and
pulled my hand away slowly, the loss of contact leaving me feeling empty.
"I just need a minute," he told the man, his voice stern, demanding.
"Its fine, you have people waiting. It was good to see you," I managed.
"Don't go yet," he said, his voice on the verge of pleading.
I glanced back at the waiting crowd and the impatient man at his right. "It's fine. Finish your
signing. I'll see you," I said softly.
I began to walk away.
"Quinn!" he called out.
I turned and looked back. He was standing there like he was ready to jump over the table. The two
guys beside him looked like they were ready to tackle him if he decided to do just that. I gave him a
quick shake of my head as if to tell him to stay and finish what he had to do. I could talk to him later.
Or not. Right now I needed to get some air.
I walked down the long aisles of the signing room, weaving back and forth among the people,
Keaton's book pressed against my chest as I went. I could still feel the warmth where his fingers had
been. I knew it was my imagination, but it felt real. It felt real when nothing else around me did. I
finally made it to the elevator where a handful of people stood waiting. I looked up, watching the
numbers tick as the car moved through the floors. If it didn't get here fast enough I might turn back
around. I wanted to open the book. I wanted to read the words that he had scribbled. But I needed to
wait. No matter what they said they would affect me. It had been fast and knowing he had probably
only put his name made my chest constrict. I don't know why. He'd written me an entire book and I
was going to let an inscription be the thing that took that away?
The doors to the elevator opened and a group of people got off. I followed two other girls into the
car, happy when they took the sides so I could lean back against the wall. Against my better judgment I
opened the cover, my patience non existent. There on the title page were two words, written in his
familiar script. My mouth fell open, my entire body trembling. I barely heard the commotion as a
voice called out to hold the doors. I looked up and there he was, standing with his arms out to the
sides, holding the doors open.
The book fell to the ground and I stared at him in disbelief, the words from the page echoing in
my head.

Marry me.

That's all he'd written. In sharp black marker.
"I know its a little dramatic, he smiled. I just need you to know how serious I am. It doesn't have
to be today. You don't even have to say yes. But it was the best way for me to tell you that I'm in this.
This is where it begins," he said, his eyes focused on mine, filled with fire and determination. The
girls on the elevator with me gasped in surprise. I was barely aware of the small crowd that was now
behind him, watching us. He took a step forward and the doors finally closed behind him. He closed
the space between us, kneeling down to pick up the book. When he was back on his feet he pressed
against me, his hand on my cheek.
"I love you, Quinn. Ive loved you all along. I stumbled and I screwed up a lot. But you are all I

have ever wanted. You are everything I need in this world. The only thing I need. I want it all. I want
dancing in the kitchen and rainy day movie marathons. I want hard days and easy days and I want to
fight to make it better. I want be everything you need and everything you deserve. I want forever,
Quinn, and I want it with you," he said softly. I barely noticed when the tears slid down my cheeks.
Just like that? I asked quietly.
He shrugged, It took a lot for me to get here. Theres nowhere else I want to be.
I took a moment to take it all in, the fact that he was standing here, his hand on my face, his breath
on my cheek, handing me back the life Id had to give up. Once again, he was asking me to jump.
"Okay," I whispered. His familiar smirk overtook his face.
"Okay?" he asked.
I nodded.
Just like that?
I shrugged and smiled, I waited a long time for you to get here.
He smiled that smirky, boyish grin that I loved so much. Okay then."
And then he kissed me and everything in me knew it was the first kiss of my forever.



IT TOOK A week for me to fall in love with Quinn Ryan. Unfortunately, it took a hell of a lot longer
for me to finally admit it. I put us both through hell on the way and it was a long fight to get us to
where we are today, but were stronger for it. In fact, Im not sure our foundation would be as solid as
it is if we hadnt gone through the things that we did.
Ours has been a journey of both getting lost and being found. Its been a journey of surrender and
sacrifice, and of faith and reason. Honestly, I think its our differences that make us fit so perfectly.
Her logic tames me when I need calm; my spontaneity makes her jump before she can ask too many
questions. We work, in some crazy, illogical, perfect way.
Its been a year since she agreed to give me a second chance. A chance I didnt deserve, but one I
thank her for every single day. Because it brought me back to life. Ive spent every day since then
trying to earn that chance, to earn another tomorrow.
Weve added a lot of adventures to our story this year. I took her to Ireland and we got lost in the
villages, spending hours with the locals until we found our way back to the hotel. The blush on her
cheeks and the exhilaration in her eyes that day had made it the best trip of my life.
Three months ago she moved in with me and rearranged my life again. There are to do lists on the
fridge, real food in the pantry and my new favorite place to write is lying in bed with her curled up
beside me as she reads somebody elses book. She even convinced me to get a cat. We named her
Daisy.
But Im pretty sure my favorite adventure is the one were going to add this weekend. At least that
is my hope. Ive brought her back to Seattle. I think she thought I was crazy to suggest it. Its the first
time weve been here since the day she walked out on me over a year ago. Since the day I pushed her
away. That day changed everything. It was probably the worst day of my life.
I wanted a do-over.
I wanted to make happy memories here. I wanted to replace the bad with good.
Its why I had chosen this place to ask her to marry me.
For real this time.
Not that I didnt mean it when I scribbled the words down in the book. Id have taken her ass down
to the courthouse that very day if shed let me. But wed had a lot to work through first. And really, Id
just needed her to know that I was in it for the long haul. I had needed her to know that she was it for
me.
This time I wanted to do it right, I wanted to ask her for forever. I wanted to say all the right words
and give her the moment she deserved. The ring was burning a hole in my pocket. Id been carrying it
around with me since we got here two days ago, looking for the perfect moment. This is why people
made plans. Quinn would have had a perfect plan instead of trying to wing it. But I was a romance
writer for fucks sake; I should be able to capture a moment.
Babe, are you okay? You look distracted, Quinn said, sipping her wine. We sat at a secluded
table, at a trendy sidewalk bistro having just finished a fabulous dinner. I was indeed distracted. The
woman was stunning. Her blush colored dress matched the color in her cheeks and I wondered if I
should have stopped her after her second glass of wine. If I proposed now would she even remember

it?
I was just admiring the view, I smiled.
You talk like that to all of the girls, she teased as she reached out to take my hand across the
table.
Yeah, but with you I mean it, I said. She laughed and the sound warmed me from the inside out.
The idea that I could spend the rest of my life with this beautiful woman at my side left me awestruck.
Thank you for bringing me here. Ive had the best time. But then, everywhere I am with you is
perfect, she said.
I lifted her hand and kissed her palm, You make me happier than I could have ever imagined,
Quinn, I said softly. I felt my heart speed up like my cue had just been called. She smiled the shy
smile she got whenever I got sappy. I slid my fingers through hers, taking a deep breath as I found my
words. I opened my mouth and was jarred at the sound of clapping and clanging metal. I turned in my
seat to see a crowd of about twelve wait staff crowding around a table singing some version of happy
birthday. I swear someone was actually playing the cowbell. My proposal had just been interrupted by
cowbell. I let out a frustrated sigh and sat back in my seat feeling defeated. Until Quinn started to
giggle.
You think this is funny? I asked.
Its a little funny. This place is so fancy and they are singing happy birthday like we are at the
mall, she said. I couldnt help but smile at the humor that lit her eyes.
Lets get out of here. I just want to take you back to the room, I said. That ceased her giggle and
lit a different spark in her eye. God, I loved the way just a suggestive promise could have her looking
at me like she wanted to find a back room instead of waiting for the hotel. I shifted in my seat, my
dick hard at the thought.
We walked back the two blocks back to the hotel, my hands on her back, drifting suggestively
down to her ass. I couldnt wait to get her upstairs. The way she was looking at me had me hard as
steel and I was needy as fuck.
We stumbled into the room, lips joined, limbs tangled. I could taste the wine on her tongue as she
pulled me to her, begging for more with her kiss. I kicked the door shut and slid the sweater off her
shoulders so I could run my fingers across her soft skin. Her gaze met mine and it stole my breath.
My heart slammed against my chest and the words Id been holding back all weekend ached to be said.
I needed her. I wanted her, but I couldnt wait another moment. I couldnt wait for planned perfection.
This was our perfection. I didnt need anything but us and the truth.
My hands rested on her shoulders, my eyes locked on hers, our breath ragged and needy. We were
frozen in a single moment. Our moment. The one that was going to change everything. I saw the
instant she saw it in my eyes.
Quinn, I said softly, my voice serious and low. I had her attention. I love you. Beyond words,
beyond measure. I may never be the perfect man. But I promise to love you more than anyone. I was
meant to find you. You are my heart. I am so completely in love with you and I will spend the rest of
my life trying to deserve you. I want to marry you, Quinn Ryan. I want forever. I want a family. I want
to give you my name. I watched as her eyes turned glassy as I released my grip and pulled the ring
from my pocket. Her eyes never left mine. She didnt care about the ring at all, for her it was all about
the question, always the questions.
Will you marry me? Please say yes. I held my breath. Her smile was instant and wide as she
flung herself into my arms, her mouth on mine in a hungry kiss. I wrapped my arms around her,
lifting her feet off the ground.
Yes! she managed between kisses. The sweetest word Id ever heard. I kissed her deeper, needing
to seal our new bond somehow. I finally put her back on the ground and took the ring from my pinky

and slid it onto her left ring finger. She finally took a moment to look down at the cushion cut
diamond set on a band of platinum. I took pleasure in the way her eyes went round and her mouth fell
open. Id looked a long time for the perfect ring and Id wanted to get it right.
Its stunning, she said, her voice barely audible.
I pulled her close to me, wrapping my arms tight around her waist. Youre going to be my wife,
I said letting the words wrap around my heart. She smiled as she slid her arms under my shirt.
I love the way that sounds, she said.
Its fucking sexy as shit, I agreed.
You and me forever, she said looking up at me with a dreamy look. She was so beautiful. I
couldnt wait to spend the rest of the night celebrating with her wearing nothing but that brand new
ring.
You have no idea what youve just agreed to. I teased. I hadnt felt this light and carefree in
forever.
She laughed and brushed the hair back from my eyes, I figure Ill just wing it.

IT'S RAINING OUTSIDE. I've really grown to love the rain. It fills me with peace. Especially, on
mornings like this one. I love the way the dreary storm clouds cast shadows throughout the apartment
begging me to find covers and comfortable pajamas. I love the way it wraps around me when I'm
lying in bed, my arms wrapped around my fiance, watching the news while she reads, tucked in
beside me.
It's my happy place.
Every place with Quinn is happy.
I could hibernate in this little bubble for days and never want to come out.
Quinns cell phone chirps from the night stand but she doesnt move to grab it. Shes so engrossed
in whatever shes reading that I doubt she even heard it. I give her a nudge and she gives me a grunt in
return. Babe your phone has gone off like 3 times, I laughed. She shrugged, not caring at all.
I wish you read my books so intently, I teased.
Chirp.
Quinn. Seriously. Its annoying. At least put it on silent, I grumbled as I ticked up the volume on
the news. She gave me scowl and reached for the phone clearly annoyed that Id not only interrupted
her reading but also moved her from her comfy nook.
Huh, she mumbled as she thumbed through the messages.
What is it?
Its Lily. Shes sending me pictures. Shes with Miles, she said. She turns the phone so I can see
the screen. Sure enough, Dark and Twisty is smiling at the camera and my brother is kissing her
cheek.
I guess they are on again. I cant keep up with those two. They have more issues than we ever
did, I said. Miles and Lily had been back and forth since theyd met, but lately it seemed to bother
Quinn a lot. I hated the worried frown that tugged at her pretty mouth. Id have to distract her.
She shrugged. I dont know, sometimes I wonder if they just hurt each other for sport, she said
sadly. Im about to pull her to me but her phone chirps again. I watched as her eyes went wide and she
started to choke.
Are you okay? I asked moving towards her

Oh my God.
What now? I asked, the sheer shock on her face as she looks up from her phone has me reaching
to see for myself.
Its from Lily. They just got married.

Also by Shae Scott

The Unfinished Series
Unfinished
Indelible


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