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Title:FromCaregivingtoParenting:FamilyFormationwithAdoptedOlderChildren

Author:MargaretElbow
Source:
http://web.a.ebscohost.com/src/detail?vid=2&sid=d4199927a0e94561a40b81abf70ff00b%40
sessionmgr4005&hid=4214&bdata=JkF1dGhUeXBlPWlwLGN1c3R1aWQmY3VzdGlkPXM4ND
U1ODYxJnNpdGU9c3JjLWxpdmU%3d#AN=5280082&db=mat

Olderchildrenchancesofgettingadoptedareslimatbest,andtheyenduplivingalifeinthe
systeminsteadofwithalovingfamilyuntiltheyageout,thiscouldallbechangedifadoptive
parentsweremoreinformedontheadoptionofolderchildren.

1. Whateffectdoesolderkidsnotgettingadoptedhaveonthem?

2.Whatdifferenceisthereinthembeingadoptedtobeingraisedinfostercare?

3.Whatifparentsshiftedtheirfocustoadoptingolderkids,insteadofbabies?

4.Whydoesitmatterthatolderkidsarenotgettingadopted?

5.Whydoparentsnotwanttoadoptolderkids?
Whenparentsadoptolderchildrentheyhavetoovercomethechallengesofa
biologicallyformedfamilyandcreateawayforthestepsofbecominganewfamily.
Therearethreemainpartsthatmakebecomingafamilywithanadoptedolderchild,
distortionofthefamilylifecycle,Stressonfamilyboundariesandunresolvedissues.
Manynewfamilyareexpectedtobecomecloseatfirst,butinsteadmostwillonlyfind
distance.Therearemanyfactorstothis,suchastheparentsnotyethavingdecided
whatkindofparentingstyletheywanttousebeforethechildisplacedintheirhome.
Therearesomewhocomparenewlyadoptedfamiliestoanewlyremarriedfamilieswith
onlyonethingdifferent,theadoptivechildrenwillhavenothingsharedwitheitherofthe
adoptiveparents.
Someolderadoptivechildrenwillstillfeelloyaltytotheirpastfosterparents,thismay
hindertheadoptiveparentspersistenceoftryingtobecomeparentsinthechildseyes
insteadofpeoplewhojustcareforhisneeds.
Adoptiveparentswillbebringchildrenwhohavebeentaughtthroughexperiencethat
adultsarethosewhowillgivethemawayatthefirstsignoftroublewhichcanhinder
theiracceptanceofthosewhoadoptedthembeingtheirnewparents.
Themostimportantthinganadoptivefamilycandoisaddingthechildsdifferentsocial
andbiologicalhistory,doingsocanchangethosewhoadoptedfromcaregiversto
parentsintheeyesofthechild.

6.Howcouldparentsbemoreinformedaboutadoptingandraisingolderkids?

7.Ifparentsweremoreinformedwouldthatchangetheirviewsonadoptingolderkids?

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