1

Most of the language in this guide comes from GLAAD, which is an organization that
combats LGBTQ defamation in the media. We have made minor tweaks where necessary
because the GLAAD references are not always very inclusive. We have also included
additional definitions, sourced individually. All footnotes are ours. Please read the
footnotes! They are super important.
GENERAL TERMINOLOGY
Sex: The classification of people as male or female. At birth infants are assigned a sex, usually
based on the appearance of their external anatomy. (This is what is written on the birth
certificate.) However, a persons sex is actually a combination of bodily characteristics including:
chromosomes, hormones, internal and external reproductive organs, and secondary sex
characteristics.1
Gender Identity: Ones internal, deeply held sense of ones gender. Unlike gender expression
(see below) gender identity is not visible to others. Most people have a gender identity of man or
woman. This is known as the gender binary. For some people, their gender identity does not fit
neatly into one of those two choices. Unlike gender expression (see below) gender identity is not
visible to others.
Gender Expression: External manifestations of gender, expressed through ones name,
pronouns, clothing, haircut, behavior, voice, or body characteristics. Society identifies these cues
as masculine and feminine, although what is considered masculine and feminine changes over
time and varies by culture.
Sexual Orientation: Describes an individuals capacity for enduring physical, romantic and/or
emotional attraction. Gender identity and sexual orientation are not the same. Transgender people
may be straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, etc. For example, a person who transitions from male to
female and is attracted solely to men would identify as a straight woman. People need not have
had specific sexual experiences to know their sexual orientation; in fact, they need not have had
any sexual experience at all to know their sexual orientation. Never invalidate another persons
sexual orientation; they know themselves better than you do.
Romantic orientation:2 This is separate from sexual orientation in that it deals specifically with
romantic attraction, i.e. desire for a lasting romantic relationship with a specific person, rather
than sexual attraction. For most people, romantic and sexual orientations are aligned; in other
words, the gender(s) of the people with which they fall in love match the gender(s) to which they
are sexually attracted. The terms for various sexual orientations listed below for example,
bisexual refer to both romantic and sexual orientation, because for most people bisexuality
incudes biromanticism. The romantic spectrum exists only for people to specify if their
orientations do not align; i.e. they identify as heterosexual but panromantic. Any prefix used for
1 Physical characteristics that develop during puberty, e.g. facial hair or breasts.
2 This definition is from us, not GLAAD.

sexual orientation can be used for romantic orientation (e.g. aromantic, homoromantic,
heteroromantic, demiromantic, etc.)
Emphasizing the difference between the romantic and sexual spectrum, however, can be
extremely harmful. There exists already a stereotype about the LGBTQ community that sexual
orientation is only about sex, and that LBGTQ people are by nature promiscuous. Sexual
orientation is NOT only about sexual attraction. Usually, it encompasses romantic orientation.
Usually.
Coming Out: A lifelong process of self-acceptance. People forge a LGBTQ identity first to
themselves and then they may reveal it to others. Publicly sharing ones identity may or may not
be part of coming out.
SEXUAL ORIENTATION
Gay (adj.): An adjective used to describe people whose enduring physical, romantic and/or
emotional attractions are to people of the same gender.
Lesbian (n. or adj.): A woman whose enduring physical, romantic and/or emotional attraction is
to other women. Some lesbians may prefer to identify as gay (adj.) or as gay women.
Bisexual (adj.):3 An adjective used to describe people with the capacity to form enduring
physical, romantic and/or emotional attractions to those of the same gender and to those of other
gender(s).
Pansexual (adj.):4 Pansexual is an adjective used to describe people who are
sexually/emotionally/spiritually capable of falling in love with all genders.5 This doesnt mean
they like everyone, and some pansexual people do have preferences. The identity is used merely
to express the openness and fluidity to people of all genders.
Asexual (adj.):6 An asexual7 person is someone who does not experience sexual attraction.
Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who someone is. Celibacy
and/or sexual abstinence are behaviors, while asexuality is a sexual orientation. Some asexual
3 May be shortened to bi.
4 From www.stop-homophobia.com/pansexuality.htm
5 Basically this means that for pansexual people, attraction is more about the person than the

gender.
6 From www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Asexuality
7 Sometimes shortened to ace.

people do participate in sex, for a variety of reasons. There is considerable diversity among the
asexual community; each asexual person experiences things like relationships, attraction, and
arousal somewhat differently. Asexuality does not make anyones life any worse or any better,
they just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people.
Demisexual (adj.):8 A demisexual person is a person who does not experience sexual attraction
unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone. Asexuality is a spectrum.
Demisexuality falls on the asexuality spectrum but is a distinct identity with a distinct
experience, just as bisexuality falls on the gay-straight spectrum but is a distinct identity, just as
purple is between red and blue but is a distinct color.
Heterosexual (adj.): An adjective used to describe people whose enduring physical, romantic
and/or emotional attraction is to people of the opposite gender. Also straight.
GENDER
Cisgender (adj.):9 A term used to describe people whose gender identity aligns with the sex they
were assigned at birth. The prefix cis- comes from Latin, meaning on the same side of.10
Transgender (adj.):11 Typically someone who identifies as on the gender binary, on the opposite
end from the gender they were assigned at birth (e.g. assigned female, identifies as male).
Sometimes shortened to trans. Can also be used as an umbrella term for anyone whose gender
identity does not match the gender they were assigned at birth. That said, not all non-cisgender
people identify as transgender. Use whichever label someone asks you to use. Many transgender
people are prescribed hormones by their doctors to change their bodies. Some undergo surgery as
well. But not all transgender people can or will take those steps, and a transgender identity is not
dependent upon medical procedures.
Gender non-binary (adj.):12An umbrella term covering any gender identity or expression that
does not fit within the gender binary.13 The label may also be used by individuals wishing to
8 From www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Demisexuality
9 Definition by us.
10 Sometimes cisgender is shortened to cis, just as transgender is sometimes shortened to trans.
11 Definition by us.
12 From www.non-binary.org/wiki/Non-binary_gender
13 Often shortened to non-binary, sometimes NB.

identify as falling outside of the gender binary without being any more specific about the nature
of their gender.14
Transgender man: People who were assigned female at birth15 but identify and live as a man
may use this term to describe themselves. They may shorten it to trans man. Some may also use
FTM, an abbreviation for female-to-male. Some may prefer to simply be called men, without any
modifier. It is best to ask which term an individual prefers.
Transgender woman: People who were assigned male at birth16 but identify and live as a
woman may use this term to describe themselves. They may shorten to trans woman. Some may
also use MTF, an abbreviation for male-to-female. Some may prefer to simply be called women,
without any modifier. It is best to ask which term an individual prefers.
Transition: Changing ones gender expression to reflect gender identity is not a one-step
procedure; it is a complex process that occurs over a long period of time. Transition includes
some or all of the following personal, medical, and legal steps: telling ones family, friends, and
co-workers; using a different name and new pronouns; dressing differently; changing ones name
and/or sex on legal documents; hormone therapy; and possibly (though not always) one or more
types of surgery. The exact steps involved in transition vary from person to person. Avoid the
phrases sex change, post-operation, and pre-operation. Not all transgender people choose
to, or can afford to, undergo medical surgeries. People should avoid overemphasizing the role
of surgeries in the transition process. A persons genitals are not anybody elses business.
Genderqueer (adj.): A term used by some people who experience their gender identity and/or
gender expression as falling outside the categories of man and woman. They may define their
gender as falling somewhere in between man and woman, or they may define it as wholly
different from these terms. The term is should only be used if someone self-identifies as

14 There are other terms and labels that can fall under the non-binary umbrella or mean similar

things, e.g. genderqueer, genderfluid, and agender.

15 Sometimes shortened to AFAB.
16 Concurrently, sometimes shortened to AMAB.

genderqueer.17 As an umbrella term, genderqueer has similar scope to non-binary.18 However, the
terms have different meanings and connotations. They are not the same. 19
Genderfluid (adj.): 20 Genderfluid individuals have different gender identities at different times.
A genderfluid individuals gender identity could be multiple genders at once, and then switch to
none at all, or move between single gender identities. For some genderfluid people, these
changes happen as often as several times a day, and for others, monthly, or less often. Some
genderfluid people regularly move between only a few specific genders, perhaps as few as two,
whereas other genderfluid people never know what theyll feel like next.21
Agender (adj.):22 Agender is an identity under the non-binary and transgender umbrellas. 23
Agender individuals find that they have no gender identity, although some define this more as
having a gender identity that is neutral.
Intersex (adj.): 24 A general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with
a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesnt seem to fit the typical definitions of female or
male.

17 Because this term includes the word queer, be wary of using it just as you would the word

queer. See that definition for further details.

18 Gender nonconforming is a similar word, though not a synonym. From a non-binary friend of

Megs: Non-binary is a gender identity, an internal feeling, while gender nonconformity is

breaking gender roles, so a cisgender man in a dress could be considered gender
nonconforming.
19 For more information on this, see www.non-binary.org/wiki/Genderqueer
20 From www.non-binary.org/wiki/Genderfluid
21 This can be really confusing for friends when trying to use proper pronouns for a genderfluid

person. When in doubt, ask the person what they prefer.

22 From www.non-binary.org/wiki/Agender
23 Of course, someone could identify as agender without identifying as trans or non-binary.
24 From www.isna.org/faq/what_is_intersex. For more information on what it means to be

intersex, read there.

FURTHER NOTES
Always use a transgender or non-binary persons chosen name. They should be afforded the
same respect for their chosen name as anyone else who lives by a name other than their birth
name (e.g., celebrities).25
Whenever possible, ask people which pronouns they would like you to use.26 This is easier to
do than youd think. Next time you meet someone new, ask for their name and then for their
preferred gender pronouns. If they dont understand, give an example: Well, my names John
Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt and I use he/him. It is never appropriate to put quotation marks
around either a transgender persons chosen name or the pronoun that reflects that persons
gender identity.
Transgender women are not cross-dressers or drag queens. Drag queens are men, typically
gay men, who dress like women for the purpose of entertainment. Cross-dressers are typically
heterosexual men who occasionally wear clothes, makeup, and accessories culturally associated
with women. Both are forms of gender expression, not gender identities. Be aware of the
differences between transgender women, cross-dressers, and drag queens. Use the term
preferred by the individual. Do not use the word transvestite at all. It is offensive and
outdated. It invalidates transgender women.
PREJUDICE (definitions by us)
These prejudices can manifest themselves in varying degrees as microaggressions, invalidation of
identity, intolerance, internalized fear or disgust, passivity, hate crimes, and institutional oppression.
Homophobia (n.): Specifically intolerance towards gay people, though other people within the LGBTQ
community, such as bisexual people, face homophobia as well.
Transphobia (n.): Intolerance towards transgender people. Transphobia is one of the most deadly forms of
oppression. Trans women have a 1 in 12 chance of being murdered a 1 in 8 chance if they are women of
color. 41% of trans people have attempted suicide.27
25 This goes for all non-binary people, as do the notes about pronouns. Keep in mind that not all

non-binary people identify as transgender. The GLAAD references tend to lump everyone not
cismale or cisfemale into the transgender category, which is wrong. Different people use labels
differently. Respect whichever label a person self-identifies with.
26 This note is by us.
27 Statistics from www.unicornbooty.com/simple-infographic-explains-why-we-still-need-trans-

day-of-visibility

Biphobia (n.): Intolerance towards bisexual people, usually based on stereotypes and inaccurate associations
with sexual promiscuity, infidelity, indecision, and experimentation.
TERMS TO AVOID
Offensive: homosexual (n. or adj.)
Preferred: gay (adj.); gay man or lesbian (n.); gay person/people
Please use gay or lesbian to describe people attracted to members of the same sex. Because of the
clinical history of the word homosexual, it is aggressively used by anti-gay extremists to
suggest that gay people are somehow diseased or psychologically/emotionally disordered.
Offensive: transsexual (n. or adj.)
Preferred: transgender (adj.)
An older term that originated in the medical and psychological communities, this term is largely
outdated. Always replace it with transgender unless specifically asked to use it by a person who
identifies as transsexual. In general, avoid the term wherever possible.
Offensive: homosexual relations/relationship, homosexual couple, homosexual sex,
etc.
Preferred: relationship, couple (or, if necessary, gay couple), sex, etc.
These constructions are frequently used by anti-gay extremists to denigrate gay people, couples
and relationships. As a rule, try to avoid labeling an activity, emotion or relationship as gay,
lesbian, bisexual etc. unless you would call the same activity, emotion or relationship straight
if engaged in by someone of another orientation.
Offensive: biologically male, biologically female, genetically male, genetically
female, born a man, born a woman
Preferred: assigned male at birth, assigned female at birth
As mentioned above, a persons sex is determined by a number of factors - not simply genetics and ones biology does not trump ones gender identity. Finally, people are born babies - they
are not born a man or born a woman. Moreover, a trans woman is born a woman; gender
identity is intrinsic. She is born with it, its not Maybelline.
Offensive: deceptive, fooling, pretending, posing, trap, or masquerading
Gender identity is an integral part of a persons identity. Such descriptions are defamatory and
insulting.
Offensive: transgenderism
Preferred: none
This is not a term commonly used by transgender people. This is a term used by anti-transgender
activists to dehumanize transgender people and reduce who they are to a condition. Refer
to being transgender instead, or refer to the transgender community. You can also refer to the
movement for transgender equality.

Offensive: transgenders, a transgender

Preferred: transgender people, a transgender person
Transgender should be used as an adjective, not as a noun. Do not say, Tony is a transgender,
or The parade included many transgenders. Instead say, Tony is a transgender man, or The
parade included many transgender people.
Offensive: sexual preference
Preferred: sexual orientation or orientation
The term sexual preference is typically used to suggest that being LGBTQ is a choice. Dont.
Offensive: gay agenda or homosexual agenda
Preferred: Accurate descriptions of the issues (e.g., inclusion in existing nondiscrimination and hate crimes laws, ending the ban on transgender service members)
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people are motivated by the same hopes, concerns and
desires as other everyday Americans. They seek to be able to earn a living, be safe in their
communities, serve their country, and take care of the ones they love. Their commitment to
equality is one they share with many allies and advocates who are not LGBTQ. Notions of a socalled homosexual agenda are rhetorical inventions of anti-gay extremists seeking to create a
climate of fear by portraying the pursuit of equal opportunity for LGBTQ people as sinister.
Offensive: special rights
Preferred: equal rights or equal protection
Anti-gay extremists frequently characterize equal protection of the law for LGBTQ people as
special rights to incite opposition to such things as relationship recognition and inclusive nondiscrimination laws.
Offensive: fag, faggot, dyke, homo, sodomite, tranny, she-male, he/she,
it, shim
These words dehumanize people. They are slurs. The criteria for using these derogatory terms
should be the same as those applied to vulgar epithets used to target other groups: they should
not be used except in a direct quote that reveals the bias of the person quoted. Please note that
while some LGBTQ people may use slurs to describe themselves, others find it profoundly
offensive. Like the n-word, these words are not for use by the general public.

UMBRELLA TERMS AND THEIR CONNOTATIONS (definitions by us)

Queer: This is a concise term to describe anybody not cisgender and straight. That said, in most
scenarios one should not use this term. For decades it has been used as a harmful slur, like the nword. The queer community is starting to reclaim it, and many people within the community
identify as queer (e.g. if they feel that their sexual orientation/gender identity doesnt match any
of the numerous labels listed above, or if they do not wish to use a label). However, the negative

connotations and emotional effect of this term are more important to consider than its usefulness.
If youre going to use this term, ask first.
However, the word queer is not only used as a label and/or umbrella term. Its also used in an
academic context, such as in Queer Theory classes. The word queer is generally acceptable in an
academic context. Just dont refer to an individual as queer without their permission.
MOGII: Meaning Marginalized Orientations, Gender Identities, and Intersex, this is a
relatively new acronym. Its unfamiliar for most people, but it is a good umbrella with few
negative connotations. This is a really good term! Just make sure people know what youre
talking about.
LGBT/LGBTQ/LGBTQ+: Meaning Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (and Queer).
This is the most commonly used umbrella term. Be aware that the Q stands for queer, and keep
in mind this words history as a slur (see definition above). That said, we recommend LGBTQ as
the umbrella term for common use. It is the most inclusive and commonly accepted umbrella
term. The + is intended to imply all identities not included in LGBT, however, we think that
the Q sufficiently includes these terms. You may on occasion see much longer versions (e.g.
LGBTQQIAP28). Trust LGBTQ. Believe in LGBTQ.
Thank you for reading! If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us (Meg
Ruppel and Lulu Klebanoff). You can also contact Christel McGuigan, or the GLOW leaders
(Francesca OFallon and Victoria Yeh).

28 Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, and Pansexual