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1.

Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a


pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint.
a. (The Assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinard)
2. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are
splashes on its trouser leg.
a. (The July Ultimatum)
3. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view.
a. (Germany says that it will be allies with Austria)
4. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.
a. (Britain is the leading party in a conference to try and calm
down the tensions between Austria and Serbia)

5. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for
the cleaning of Austria's trousers.
a. (Serbia agrees to all 14 articles of the July Ultimatum, except for
Article 6)
6. Russia and Serbia look at Austria.
a. (Russia and Serbia begin to mobilize their army to fight Austria,
but do not declare war)
7. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at.
a. (Austria begins to mobilize its army, but does not declare war)
8. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone.
a. (Russia allies itself with Serbia due to a common culture)
9. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to
do so.
a. (Austria is egged on by Germany to increase tensions with
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Russia)
Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it,

and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not
intervene.

a. (Germany becomes worried that France is planning an attack


11.

against Germany and begins to mobilize its army)


Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that

Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do


about it?
a. (Britain and France become nervous that Germany is going to
attack them and begins to mobilize their armies)

12.

Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will

render Russia incapable of such action.


a. (Germany, knowing that Russia is not industrialized, begins to
make plans to attack Russia and take its territory, though they
13.

claim that they are protecting Austria from Russian aggression)


Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at

Belgium.
a. (Since France has mobilized its troops to the border of Germany
and France, Germany begins to look at Belgium as a possible
14.

route to attack France without facing their entire army)


Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper.
a. (Germany promises to help Turkey gain back its land that it lost
from Britain, France, and Russia in order to increase the power
of the Ottoman Empire)

15.

When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at

anyone.
a. (Turkey agrees to this plan, but does not attack right away)
16.
Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches
Belgium.
a. (Germany begins its attack on France by invading Belgium to
17.

avoid the bulk of Frances army)


France and Britain punch Germany.
a. (France and Britain try to fight back Germanys advance into

18.

France)
Austria punches Russia.
a. (After Germany attacked Belgium, Austria begins to fight Russia

19.

until Germany can attack)


Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia

with the other.


a. (Following through with the Schlieffen Plan, Germany send the
majority of its army to push back France and Britain to almost
being completely defeated, and then sends those forces to take
20.

out Russia)
Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls

over.
a. (Russia tries to fight Germany, but because it is not
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industrialized, it cant put up a strong enough resistance)


Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on

Britain's side, but stays there.


a. (Japan wanting to expand its own power in the Pacific, declares
war on Germany and Austria to take their colonies in the Pacific
Ocean. While they declare that they are allies with Britain, they
22.

never fight in Europe)


Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.

a. (Italy had, at the beginning of the war, been on the side of


Germany and Austria, however, Britain and France offer Italy a
decent chunk of Austrias territory if it joined the Triple Entente.
Italy agrees and declares war on Austria)

23.

Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back.


a. (Australia, being a colony of Britain, is required to fight with
british troops during the war. Britain wants Australia to attack

24.

25.

the Ottomans in order to force them out of the conflict.)


There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it.
a. (Australia was required as a colony of Britain to fight against
the Ottomans, not because they wanted to.)
France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back

up and carries on fighting.


a. (France gets pushed to the brink of defeat, but is still able to
26.

hold on.)
Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out,

suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality


change.
a. (Russia gets pushed to the brink of defeat, but the Russian
Revolution causes a change in leadership that is very different
from the rule of Nicholas II. After this event, Lenin, who is now
the new leader, withdraws Russia from the war and makes
27.

peace with Germany and Austria.)


Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over

anyway.

a. (Italy tries to gain the territory that it lost during its fighting
with Austria, it wasnt a total success. However, Austria wasnt
able to put up much of a resistance due to its resources being
depleted from fighting Britain and France. So, Austria called for
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peace)
Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room

chanting.
a. (Benito Mussolini, the leader of Italy, brings about Fascism in
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Italy towards the end of WWI)


America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained

punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it
with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.
a. (America ends the war only in the last year of the war, but it
arrives with a massive amount of new, fresh troops. However,
Americans believed that it was because of their strength that
Germany fell, when, in reality, Britain and France had been
30.

fighting back the Germans for several years at that point.)


By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar

is shattered.
a. (Europe is, physically and economically, completely in ruins)
31.
Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first
punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault.
a. (At the Paris Peace Conference, Britain, France, and America
agree that the war was Germanys fault since they were the
ones that wanted Austria to attack and since they did the most
32.

damage in the war)


While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets,

steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.

a. (Britain, France, and America demand that Germany pays for all

civilian damages not only in Germany, but also in Britain,


France, and all other allied nations to Britain and France.)

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