COMM 2110

TO: Professor Tamra Phillips

From: Ali Aedan
Date: 2016.April .27

Self-Reflection on my Personal Change Project

This paper outlines my personal change project. Because I have a bad

accent in English, I dont like to have much communication with people and
that costs me a lot. That is why I set up my goal to improve my
communication at work by using nonverbal expressions techniques to
help me to communicate with people in the workplace .To this end, I applied
several strategies from the Beebe, Beebe and Redmond text, including,
Beebe (pg. 214,215,216)
1. Focusing on how to improve my skill in expressing nonverbal messages
which means I will be mindful of my nonverbal messages.
2. Observing other reactions to my nonverbal behavior.
3. Asking my friends about my nonverbal behavior.
4. Practicing my nonverbal behavior.
Unwanted Communication Pattern
I came to the United States of America three years ago and its the first
time I live in a country that speak English. Thats why its hard to speak

English fluently and clearly and people keep asking me, Can you say that
again? Also sometimes I used to talk about something, but my coworker
would understand something different and because of that I didnt like to
communicate at work but I know the communication is the most important
thing in the workplace. Here are two examples:
One day in the monthly meeting between employees and
management, we were talking about the products after a bad month because
of a lot of rejected units. We were discussing how we can make good units
for our customers and the manager turned to me and asked me, What do
you think is more important: the quantity or the quality, Ali? I answer him
directly the quality, but he understands is as I said the quantity and he said,
Okay the quantity is important, but the priority is to the quality. When we
are talking about something more specialized, like medical equipment, we
wouldn't want to sacrifice quality. To do so would be to condemn ourselves to
failure as soon as we needed to make use of the product. I know exactly
what he said and its not new for me that he understands me in a different
way. However, I saw that it would be hard to explain that to him again
because we were in the meeting and we had a limited time and if I try to
explain then I may be in another problem with another misunderstanding of
my pronunciation.
When we did evaluations of employees, my look was good, I was
outstanding in quality and quantity, but my problem was in the feedback. It
was all because of my accent and I dont like to keep talking about the work

and the manager will keep asking me, What did you say? I dont like to
repeat the words several times and that is why my feedback wasnt good. I
agree with the evaluations result. My work is not individual work, it is team
work. I cannot do everything without others in my line so there is always a
lot of contact happening. Sometimes, we agree with each other or disagree,
but the communication is a big factor to organizing the work.
Both of these situations are a result of my bad accent. The bad accent
lead me to not communicate with people and that has an effect on my work
situation and on my life.

Strategies
When I decided that I wanted to improve my communication with
people by improving my nonverbal expressions, I planned to apply the
following strategies in my daily conversations. I hoped that it could help me
to be more efficient in the workplace and in my life in the United States.
Without good communication, there are no achievements and no
development in my life, and I think a long time it what Ill need to make my
English accent understandable and clear. I can start to train and use
nonverbal expressions with several strategies.

The first strategy I felt will help me to improve my nonverbal

expression was to Be Mindful of your Nonverbal Behavior (Beebe, 214). I
need to be aware of my nonverbal expression because being aware of
your nonverbal behavior is the first step to improving your
nonverbal skill in expressing your feeling to others (Beebe 212). This
strategy should help me to give the meaning of my message to others
clearly. With the verbal message I should learn how to make a good
nonverbal expression as well and make it match with my verbal message. If
we talk about something and the nonverbal doesnt match with the verbal
words, the nonverbal message will carry the most weight in terms of
influencing the meaning of the message. That is why I should be more
careful when I am using nonverbal messages and I should emphasize with
them to send a message with more nonverbal and less verbal expressions.
This will lead me to practicing my nonverbal expressions and delivering them
with purpose.
Then, observe others reactions to your nonverbal behavior
(Beebe, 215). That is what I started to do. I observe other reactions to my
nonverbal behavior and see how nonverbal messages work. So far when I
observe the reactions from others, every time I make a nonverbal expression
I see how that works and what effect it makes. If that nonverbal effect helps,
I keep doing it. If not, I change it to another one. That has helped me much
to determine the nonverbal impression that I need in my work and in my life.

Some times when I am not sure how my nonverbal messages are

doing, Ill use another strategy. I will ask others about my nonverbal
behavior. (Beebe, 215). I start to ask close friends in the workplace what
they can understand from me. Ill ask, How do you feel about my nonverbal
behavior? I start asking my friends about my nonverbal behavior.
Next, I can Practice my Nonverbal Behavior. (Beebe, 216). I will
practice my nonverbal message every time from the beginning and I will
check it with myself and I change it if it didnt work well. Sometimes, I check
it with myself using a mirror and Ill act like a movie actor to check the
nonverbal movement and how it looks.
Constraints
Its hard to practice something new. I was thinking the nonverbal
expression is out of peoples control but now that conception has changed.
My nonverbal behavior should be under my own mind control. It needs a
lot of practice to make good contact between my mind and my face and my
hands. That practicing is hard to do all the time and everywhere. I have work
and coworkers. I cannot ask them about what Im doing with my personal
change. That could be a funny thing for them. Also, it is the workplace and I
cannot do personal things while there. The biggest constraints are the time
and place. It is hard for me to find a good place and a good time to practice
my nonverbal expression change.
Implementation

When I start to make changes in nonverbal communication

expressing, I start with reading about it from our text book using chapter
seven: In interpersonal communication relating to others. Then I start
practicing at home. The first time was with my daughter who is four years
old. It must have looked funny. She was with me at home that day and I told
her, I will try to not talk to you as much as I can, but I will tell you what I
want to say on my face. She was thinking it was a game and she liked it.
When she asked me about something I just did nonverbal expressions and
she understands if I accept what she said or not and she obeyed me more
than with verbal because she was thinking its like a test or game and she
could win it. I also used several nonverbal expressions to show her my
reaction about whether if I liked what she was doing or not. I did that
because I felt it is important to make an exercise for myself and to take and
use my tools to reach my goal at work with confidence and seriousness. I
think it was a very good exercise for me that made it feel like I changed the
image of my challenge to a game.
All strategies I practiced wasnt only training, but it was training and
practical and using these ideas to implement the strategies was serious for
me. I exercise my new strategies directly in my usual life. Everywhere I feel
its a good time to check my nonverbal message development and Ill do
that. Ill see myself in the mirror and Ill record that nonverbal behavior with
my cell phone sometimes. I know that the nonverbal messages are the
primary way we communicate our feelings and attitudes (Beebe,

188). That is why I should determine my nonverbal message according to my

attitude. The practicing was not too hard but it's also not easy. The amount
of distance between me and the other person and how to do face-to-face
posture and arms posture, facial expressions, slouching, crossing
your legs, or standing, eye contact, yawning at times, and nodding
that shows others if I agree with his opinion our not or if I am happy or sad. I
like to do all that. I see whether its good or not and a lot of meaning comes
from nonverbal expressions that I have practiced well.
After I studied well and I identified the importance of nonverbal
communication, I believed that the nonverbal communication will help me to
cover my weak English pronunciation and I can still send my ideas to others
clearly and understandably. During the time that believing became part of
my life, I became more excited to use my knowledge about nonverbal
message in my work life. In our monthly meeting at our company, I decided
to be ready to use my nonverbal expressions to support my English. I was
really excited to be doing that and I felt I have a new resource in expression.
When we started the meeting, I decided with myself what I want to say
before starting to talk and the result was better than my expectations. The
major part of the meeting was why we didn't get our goal of production in
this month. I said my opinion and explained it to everybody and I succeeded
in that. Nobody asked me, What did you say? or Can you repeat what you
said, please? My nonverbal reaction of confidence allowed my verbal

messages to help send my ideas to everybody clearly and without confusion

from others.
After, I continued doing my Mindful of my Nonverbal Behavior at
work every time I have a conversation. It is now a part of my speaking. One
day in March, I had a conversation with a co-worker. I didnt like what he said
about somebody else who was absent that day and I decided to enter this
conversation and use the nonverbal expressions again. In this conversation I
used hand and body gestures with reducing eye contact which I feel
was important and facial expressions that all showed to serve my opinion
that I dont like to talk about somebody who is not here. I think I showed that
with a lot of nonverbal expressions and little verbal expressions and he
understood me directly because he changed the subject. He understood me
faster than before with my same English accent.
Another time that I successfully implemented these strategies into a
conversation was with another coworker. We were talking about something
dealing with our work. Then, at this point in the conversation with the coworker, I used a lot of nonverbal and verbal expressions although
nonverbal messages was the main part of the conversation. At that time I
felt that I was talking with nonverbal cues more fluently than verbal with
people who speak English.
I have had a lot of stories and events happen with me, but I cannot
write all of them. In general, the nonverbal technique became part of my

conversation style and now in the United States, everywhere I go, I use it
both on purpose and on reflex. Even if I go shopping or to a restaurant or
when I am talking with people everywhere and anywhere. I use it with
conflict management and I feel I have new sources to help me with a new
easy language which is nonverbal expressions.
Now the time to check my achievement of reaching for my goal in an
official way. How has the nonverbal expressions technique worked with
me? I chose my goal after the evaluation that came from management about
me as an employee. At that time, they said I dont give them good feedback
and they were thinking the problem was that I dont like to work for this
company but in reality the problem is my accent. Now I chose to use my
nonverbal expressions technique to see what will happen in the next
evaluation, but the evaluation is only one time every year so I decided to
meet with the manager to see if he notices any change with me. He told me
that, I felt before you will not stay a long time with us, but now I feel like
you belong to us totally. His words make me feel how important it is to
communicate at work and how nonverbal expression helps to communicate
with others. I felt that time I had almost reached to my goal.
Results
As I implemented the strategies outlined above I made it a part of my
life. I framed myself with it. At the beginning it was just part of my homework
for this semester, but now everything has become more real. I am now using

the nonverbal expression in every place that I need to make conversation

in English. I wrote the events above with what I did on purpose for this
project, but in real life I do this technique because of the good results that
came from practicing. Now I want to say that I did do what I should do about
my goal. My conversation is more understandable than before, people
understand me faster, and I think my next employee evaluation results will
be different for me. Also this technique has encouraged me to communicate
with people without any hesitation or fear. Now a lot of people like to talk
with me and see my opinion. I feel my work environment is healthier to me
and I can start developing in my work place by communicating with the
management and with the other employees.
Recommendations
I will continue to implement these strategies in my communication
because they have been successful so far. I plan to read more about
nonverbal expressions but at the same time I will read about verbal
expression and I will try to improve my English accent. Even when I am fluent
in English completely, I will continue using nonverbal communication as a
technique when I speak.
I recommend to anyone who is trying to improve his nonverbal
expression to watch nonverbal movies which were in the cinema without any
verbal communication. You see a lot of good drama without any
conversation by tongues, just nonverbal communication between the actors

and they send the message that they want to say to their audience
successfully. Even though I have made good success in implementing my
steps to reach my goal, I will keep focusing on how to improve my skill in
expressing nonverbal messages. That means I will be mindful of my
nonverbal messages and observe other reactions to my nonverbal
behavior and continue practicing my nonverbal behavior.
Works Cited
Beebe, Susan J., and Mark V. Redmond. "Interpersonal Communication and
Perception." Interpersonal Communication: Relating To Others. By Steven A.
Beebe. 7th ed. N.p.: Pearson Education, 1996. Print

Reflections
This assignment helped me to understand how nonverbal expressions
are important. Before this assignment I didnt care about my nonverbal
expressions, but right now I can control it with my mind. I believe that
nonverbal behavior is stronger than verbal messages sometimes and if we
talk about something and the nonverbal doesnt match with the verbal
words, then the nonverbal message will carry the most weight in terms of
influencing the meaning of the message.
I am now in real life doing this technique in the Personal Change
Project because of the good results that came from practicing. Now I want to
say that I did do what I should do about my goal. I think my next employee
evaluation results will be different for me. Also, this technique has
encouraged me to communicate with people without any hesitation or fear.
Now a lot of people like to talk with me and see my opinion. I feel my work
environment is healthier to me and I can start developing in my workplace
by communicating with the management and with the other employees.
Even in other classes the nonverbal behavior is helpful to send your verbal
message clearly and strongly. Also, in every presentation or speech in the
class I need to use what I have learned about nonverbal messages. I believe

that this project is a good choice and Im lucky to have read well about the
nonverbal expressions.