Running head: WHEN YOU HEAR ME

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When you hear me, do you understand?

A Venezuelan Students Story on Language, Literacy, and Value
In Higher Education
Mirabeth Braude
Michigan State University

When you hear me, do you understand?

WHEN YOU HEAR ME

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A Venezuelan Students Story on Language, Literacy, and Value

In Higher Education
I always fear my accent because I hear people, not only like people from Spanish
speaking countries, but also other like Asian countries. Now, when they speak to me, I
dont understand what theyre saying. So, I kind of, in my mind, I say, do I speak like
that? Do I sound like that? Can people understand me? I try to imitate as much as I
can I want people to think Im from the United States I want to belong I want to
belong to the community. And, when I have an accent they know, shes a foreigner, shes
not from here. Ya know what I mean? (Adrienne* February 11, 2015)
Rationale
As educators and researchers, do we know what Adrienne means when she addresses this fear of
not being understood? Do we know how the feeling of not being understood can create a sense of not
belonging? I remember the first time I felt acutely aware of being misunderstood when I spoke. It was
the same time I realized how privileged the English language is perceived to be and I experienced my
discomfort with the unequal ways languages are valued.
* * *
I listened for the announcer to call our flight number, as Sebastian and I prepared to travel together from Lima to Cusco, Peru to see Machu Picchu. I remained quiet around strangers because that way I
would not have to stumble through the few introductory sentences I knew in Spanish until I had to shamefully shake my head to indicate that I could no longer carry on the conversation. I also would not have to
hear a gentle voice apologize for not knowing English, an apology that I felt did not belong. Along with
my enjoyment in Lima, I had already experienced these types of encounters several times and felt discomforted by the value offered to English over Spanish. I knew that few Americans would apologize to a visiting Peruvian for not being able to speak Spanish, yet many of the Peruvians that I met apologized for
not speaking English or not speaking English very well, as they would put it. Finally, the loudspeaker
turned on and we formed a line to board the plane. Gracias, I said as the flight attendant took my plane
ticket. De nada she said. I could only comprehend the youre welcome and then offer an appreciative smile. Later, as the plane lifted into the air, my mind filled with questions surrounding language, privilege, and value.
* * *

* Pseudonyms have been used for participants names to protect their privacy

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My trip to Peru was in June of 2013 and this is what piqued my interest in language, literacy, and
value. Since my trip, I have had numerous conversations with my international colleagues and friends
about how their language(s) are perceived to be valuable or not valuable within the United States. Therefore, I do not come to this topic from a place of knowing; instead my relationship to the topic comes from
my curiosity to see how language and identity intersect with how international students feel their languages and literacies are valued within higher education institutions in the U.S.
Despite the diversity of languages spoken across the nation, higher education has historically
been a space of exclusivity and inclusion came at the price of taking special courses for backward students, meaning special English courses for students who did not fit the traditional image of college
students (Matsuda, 2010, p. 90). This traditional image was the white, middle class, Standard English speaking American student. Through the decades of English elitism in the U.S. academy, it is obvious the lack of value seen in multilingual students. Instead, these students have been misunderstood and
even instructed to keep their languages separate and distinct, forcing them to learn to code switch in order
to navigate varying social constructs; while simultaneously explicitly and implicitly telling students that
this monolingual approach is for their well-being and freedom within the dominant culture (Canagarajah,
2010; Myers-Scotton, 2000; Collins & Blot, 2003). Therefore, when Adrienne says that she fears her accent, her reasons come from a place of historically knowing the glorified monolingualism as well as her
feeling of exclusion from it.
Meanwhile, in the 21st century, the Education and Writing / Rhetoric fields have been seeking to
remedy the colonizing and de-humanizing image of backward multilingual students. Instead of viewing
language as a unidirectional means of communication, literacy and language is now being used to explore
multiple dimensions of inclusion, exclusion, and uniting, and is seen as a lived experience that is within
each person and situation (Paris, 2011; Kirkland, 2013). Therefore, the aim is to no longer create a hierarchy for languages, but instead to see each language as valuable for a person, situation, and purpose.
Canagarajah (2010) attributes these beliefs in an outline of pedagogical implications for moving from a
monolingual orientation to a multilingual orientation in composition classrooms. The intended focus
is shifting toward language being used for choices, strategies, fluidity, traditions, and within different discourses, instead of the monolingual dimensions of fixing errors (Canagarajah, 2010, p. 175). Even more

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recently, Jennifer Eidum Zinchuks (2014) created a blog post on Digital Rhetoric Collaborative, titled
Challenging Languages; Challenging Form: Student Perspectives on Translingual Composing that
showcases 20 students approaches to translingualism in the writing classroom. One student, Mingzhu,
notes, variations in language should not be considered as problem which need to be fixed, and people
should delightfully accept and utilize language differences to generate more meanings and creativity (as
cited in Zinchuk, 2014). These progressive movements toward debunking the monolingual, Standard
English elitist myth, can look at higher education as now valuing the language, and cultural diversity that
international students bring with them to the United States.
The research question for this project is in what way(s) do(es) an undergraduate, International
student from Venezuela, Adrienne, feel her written and spoken language and literacies are valued within
the MSU academic community?
Theory/ Framework
The purpose of this research is to help educators create a more nurturing and inclusive multilingual and multicultural space that recognizes and values all of the skills students bring to the classroom by
sharing the voice and story of a multilingual and multicultural student. Therefore, this research is conducted through the Culturally Sustaining Pedagogy lens of counteracting the white middle-class norms
and instead exploring, honoring, and extending, heritage involvement in learning practices (Paris &
Alim, 2014, p. 86). Dismantling a process of looking at ones self through anothers gaze is both challenging and not historically encouraged in academia, where the current grading system emphasizes performing and being evaluated by others.. Yet, the Culturally Sustaining Pedagogy calls educators to lovingly
work within themselves as well as with their students to recognize and compassionately let go of what Du
Bois referred to as, this sense of always looking at ones self through the eyes of others, of measuring
ones soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity (as cited in Paris & Alim,
2014, p. 86). Adriennes experiences highlight just how embedded this practice of looking at ones self is,
as well as how difficult it can be for students to work toward a Culturally Sustaining Pedagogical approach, as the norm has not been to be loving and accepting of cultural and lingual diversity for so many
years. With this lens of hopeful acceptance in place, it is time to more thoroughly introduce Adrienne.

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Participant / Site

Adrienne is a striking presence with long dark hair, a tall thin frame, and an inquisitive curious
look in her eye. Her generous smile and warm, hello, how are you? make her easily liked by those
around her. As a 19-year-old Venezuelan, freshman student studying at Michigan State University (MSU),
she originally planned to major in business. After months of wrestling with her interests and areas of
strength, she recently decided to change her major to International Studies.
Adrienne grew up in Venezuela, but both of her parents are from Portugal. Her father speaks three
languages: English, Spanish, and Portuguese. Her mother speaks Spanish and Portuguese. Adrienne
speaks Spanish, English, and some Portuguese. Therefore, she was used to multilingual dynamics well
before she came to the U.S. At 16 years old she came to the U.S. to study English at EC Boston, English
Language Centres, where she was surrounded by students from countries around the world such as Korea,
India, and China. In Boston, she felt a sense of purpose, placement, and achievement as she prepared to
take her TOEFL exam. As she studied, she discovered that she was a social learner and prided herself on
being able to communicate with others. Upon receiving her higher than satisfactory TOEFL scores, she
proceeded to apply to universities in the East and Midwest Regions of the U.S. Once she was accepted to
Michigan State University, she felt like she had really accomplished because it was a well respected institution and thus her journey began at MSU.
This research was conducted at three main sites. The first was in Adriennes bedroom at her home
in East Lansing, MI, with Adrienne either perched on her maroon, tan and gray comforter or seated at her
desk. The second site was a medium-sized lecture hall in South Kedzie Hall at Michigan State University
(MSU). The third site was also at MSU in a writing classroom filled with movable chairs and desks located in Bessey Hall.

Methods
This research was based on qualitative methods including two observations, two interviews, and
six collected artifacts. The observations were conducted in two of Adriennes courses: an Earth Environ-

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ment and Energy course held in South Kedzie Hall and an Integrative Studies in Arts and Humanities
course held in Bessey Hall. The major focus of these observations was understanding Adriennes perceptions of how her language and literacy were valued in her courses. Being invited to these spaces with
Adrienne provided an opportunity for me to see her note taking methods, her interactions with her professors, and her interactions with her classmates. I went into these courses with a focus to take as complete
of notes as I could during the allotted class times (an hour and ten minutes for Earth Environment and an
hour and fifty minutes for Integrative Studies).
To hear Adriennes own story and perspectives on her experiences in the classrooms, I also conducted two interviews. The first one took place on February 11, 2015 where we discussed her relationship
with reading, writing, and speaking in Spanish and English in educational settings, and even outside of
the university. The second interview took place on April 25, 2015 to learn how Adrienne perceived her
literacy and language skills, as well as other international students, to be valued within the academic
community.
The third form of data collection was a series of artifacts provided by Adrienne. I did not ask
Adrienne for a specific type of artifact. Instead, she offered what she wanted to share, which included a
prayer, blog post, midterm, a review of Mozart's Marriage of Figaro, and an assignment on the Broad Art
Museum. The midterm, review, and assignment were all written for her Integrative Studies and Humanities course. From these three different types of resources, major themes began to emerge surrounding
Adriennes notion of herself as she believes others see her, similar to Du Boiss quote stated earlier, as
well as how she perceives her language and literacy is valued at MSU.
Findings /Understandings
The findings that came out of these observations, interviews, and artifact collections were the
ways in which Adrienne views the directness of Spanish versus English speakers, her relationship with
speaking, writing, and reading in English for her college courses, and her beliefs about how MSU values
her and other international students multilingual skills.
Comparing Spanish and English
From our first interview, Adrienne and I discussed her general perception of her Spanish and English speaking. In her response she discusses that loudness and clarity are the two most significant divid-

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ing factors she notices in how the languages are spoken. She states, Because Spanish people tend to
speak louder and tend to be more talkative, I tend to listen more (February 11, 2015). The Spanish speaking that Adrienne is referring to here is mostly with close friends and family from Venezuela. Meanwhile,
she describes English as being a language with more clarity and precision. She says, in English people
are more clear and concise. Theyre straight to the point. In Spanish, they talk something nonsense sometimes. Not meaning nonsense, but they could be clearer, more clear. They could go to the point. In Spanish I tend to listen more and I tend to be shyer (personal communication, February 11, 2015). She uses
English in more formal settings, such as educational institutions. This formality may and may not influence the divide she feels between the two languages; she did not specify. Instead, she noted that her reasoning for being more talkative in English is because people ask her more questions about herself in English. When she is speaking in English, she is often in the U.S. and wants to represent her country and inform people about Venezuela, since she believes the country is not well-known. This desire to educate
marks Adriennes inherent nature for embracing multiculturalism, which becomes more apparent in a later
discussion.
Reading, Writing, and Speaking in English
Reading Adrienne has a two-stage process for reading in English.This reading practice is for
when she is reading English in her head, not out loud. Her first step for reading in her head is for gaining
an overview understanding of the text. She considers, If Im reading something kind of simple, like not
academical, something a kid would read, I just think in English very quick (personal communication,
February 11, 2015). If she is reading a text for school, she says she cannot translate from English to Spanish simultaneously in her head and comprehend the message at the same time; its so hard (personal
communication, February 11, 2015). Therefore, after her first read through, she feels like she can start to
comprehend (personal communication, February 11, 2015). Next, she will read the text a second time in
English to interpret it in English. And the third time is when I translate [from English to Spanish], if I
dont get it [the first time in English] (personal communication, February 11, 2015). When articulating
her process, Adrienne notes that she feels stronger with speaking and writing English instead of reading it.
Despite her developed process for reading in her head, she feels as if she particularly struggles
with reading English out loud. Her reaction is:

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For some reason, I dont read well. even though I know everything. I get stuck so much [with
reading]. I dont know if it gives me anxiety or fear, but, I cannot read English. Especially if its a
lot of people [a lot of people listening to her read, often within a classroom setting]. In my head,
Ill read normally, but when I have to read to the class or say something, I will get nervous and I
wont be able to read as properly. And I wouldnt be able to pronounce words. (personal communication, February 11, 2015)
Adrienne does not make the explicit connection between her statement about being afraid of her accent to
her struggles with reading out loud, but she appears to be connected her internal struggles with reading to
her fear of speaking. Throughout the conversation, she did not give herself credit for the work that she
does while reading; she does not acknowledge the sophistication of her already formed process. Instead,
she articulates it as an error of not reading well because she gets stuck. This concept of something
being right or wrong is re-articulated in how Adrienne views her presenting skills in English.
Presenting. Although Adrienne has a natural charisma for talking to people and learns through
social interactions, particularly discussions, she feels judged while presenting in classrooms. She makes
the connection between getting stuck reading out loud and presenting by stating, Also, for giving presentations in English I get so stuck. When it comes to a presentation, I feel like everyone is judging me. And
everyone is looking at me (personal communication, February 11, 2015). She believes that her accent
may impair her from clearly getting her ideas across and this concerns her because, When I give a presentation its to give information, thats the point. So, I think that my information is not being delivered
correctly (February 11, 2015). This perception about how having an accent impacts her is further unpacked as we discuss why she wants her language to be perceived as correct.
Adrienne: No one has ever told me that, you have a horrible accent, but the thing is, as soon as I open
my mouth, they ask, where are you from? And, I think, does it sound that bad? I want to go pass as an
American.
Mirabeth: You want to pass as an American?
A: I want people to think, where are you from in the United States?[Laughs]. The interesting thing is
in my heart and in my mind, when I listen to myself I think I sound the same as you, but I know I have an
accent.

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M: Interesting. Why is it important to you that you actually want to sound like an American, you dont
want to have an accent?
A: I want to belong to it.
M: You want to belong to the language?
A: No, I want to belong to the community. And, when I have an accent they know shes a foreigner,
shes not from here. Ya know what I mean? (personal communication, February 11, 2015).
The reframing of this quote from the beginning of the essay now situates Adriennes reflection
about her sense of presenting in classrooms as a place where she feels included or excluded from the academic community based on how accurately she speaks. Adrienne does not explicitly state how the
monolingual myth, that an accent is bad and Standard English is good, still lives within classrooms
today. And, without an invitation to bring multilingualism into the classroom, it is evident that she judges
herself through the lens of an outside colonizing source that does not embrace the many accents that are
not only from other countries, but also local, regional, and national accents as well. What Adrienne shared
is a view of monolingual Standard American English being correct and accents being incorrect.
Therefore, she does not see the value in her own spoken literacy.
Writing. As a writer, Adrienne focuses on beauty, purpose, and audience. From observing her in
the two classroom settings, she takes copious amounts of notes. From the Earth Environment course field
notes, I detail that, After the first 15 minutes of the class, Adrienne has filled up a full page of notes. All
of her notes are completely in English and the majority of the notes are quotations from the PowerPoint
slides. Previously, she told me that she does her best to write mostly in English, but will use Spanish if
she does not know a word during the lecture. Another point she makes about her writing style is that she
always writes in cursive, because that is what she was taught to do in Venezuela. Her cursive writing style
is one aspect of beauty that Adrienne values with her writing and continues to practice from her literacy
style in Venezuela. In addition, Adrienne also recognizes the beauty of her home language, instead of
English, in the prayer in Figure 1. When she gave me the prayer, we were not meeting for an interview or
to discuss the project. Instead, she met up with me and said, I want to read this to you in Spanish because
it is so much more beautiful than in English (personal communication, March 25, 2015). This appreciation for Spanish is shown through her pride in its beauty.

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While Adrienne prefers to read the prayer in Spanish for its beauty, she showcases her awareness
of rhetorically relating to an intended audience with a specific purpose by choosing to create her makeup
blog in English. She wrote the blog titled, peachy mod, (blog page shown in Figure 1) for fun, because
her passion is fashion and makeup. During an informal hangout without an interview recording, she told
me that she wrote the blog in English because people here in the U.S. would get more out of the techniques and styles she was showing than would people back home (April 20, 2015). This is the artifact that
she was most proud of, because this is grammar error free. I checked it so many times (February 11,
2015). Again, she considers the concept of error free to be valuable.

Figure 1

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Value of Multilingual Skills
As Adrienne exhibits with her awareness of her reading, speaking, and writing skills, she encounters the monolingual orientation of speaking smoothly, without an accent, and being grammatically accurate and error free. She also recognizes the beauty of the Spanish language within her literacy practices
and favorite writings from Venezuela. While Adrienne seems to move back and forth between a recognition of Spanishs beauty and a concern for having error free English, she also seems to imply that the
university does not seem to value her bilingualism.
Bilingualism not valued.
From our second interview she states, A lot of people I feel do not value the fact that Im bilingual I feel that even though I speak Spanish, it doesnt matter, because there are people out there who

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do not speak a second language and they perform better than me (personal communication, April 25,
2015). She notes that perhaps she will use her two languages more in the workforce, but the material in
college is focused on testing. There is not room for the incorporation of multilingualism or feeling valued
by the professor because of the large class sizes at MSU.
When youre here in college, its about a test. Because in a room where there are 300 students, I
understand, the professors cant sit down next to them and be like, do you understand what were
talking about? Thats the way they do things and I have to adapt, obviously. (personal communication, April 25, 2015)
Its my fault - On feeling not valued.
With the size of the classes, Adrienne believes that it is her responsibility to get recognized and
connect with her professors, yet she is afraid of sounding stupid. This fear of sounding stupid again
links to her perception that her English is not good or good enough. This, in turn, affects how she
views her value as a student at MSU:
I feel like one person out of a million. I dont feel that important. It is my fault. Its no one elses.
I havent been able to interact as well as I used to, because I feel a little bit retracted just because
English is not my first language. I feel like I will say something stupid. When youre in a university because they want an education they are very smart, so since language is not my first language and I dont consider myself a super smart person. Even though Im in higher education
place, Im afraid to say something stupid or ridiculous or something that doesnt make any sense
to anyone. So, thats my biggest fear. (personal communication, April 25, 2015)
This reoccurring theme from Adriennes feared of her accent to her fear of sounding stupid shows how the
myth of monolingualism is very much at play within higher education, despite Education and Writing /
Rhetorics work toward dismantling that narrative. And, despite her self-awareness when navigating between Spanish and English in different social settings, having clear reading practices for comprehension,
understanding her intended purposes for presenting, and writing for beauty as well as a specific audience,
she still does not feel that she has enough skills to be less fearful about her place in the academy.
Belonging in Western world.

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In the writing artifact about the Broad museum and our second interview, Adrienne makes connections about what is valued in the Western world that are separate from the notion of language and literacy. The first is the perceived need to assimilate - what Adrienne referred to earlier as passing as an
American. She writes about appearance being a means of conforming to the dominant culture. Adrienne
(2015) states, in Figure 3:
Something interesting is that all the photographs were self digitally manipulated to make them
[Laos women and Hmong men who live in America] appear whiter and sometimes to even
change their features to have a look that they consider more western This shows how the western countries have a big impact on the world, but is the impact good? Does it change people for
the better?

Figure 2
In addition to appearance, Adri-

enne also gets angry when discussing how she

pays so much more than American citizens to attend college when she could have gone to a college in
Venezuela for free. Yet, she believes that a degree from an American university will be more prestigious
and create more opportunities for her future (personal communication, April 25, 2015). Despite the value
she sees in receiving her education in the United States, she does not feels that the university values her;
in fact, she states how much more international students pay at U.S. universities. She states:
One thing I learned about coming to the US is that everything here is about business. Here I
think the use of International Students is to bring more income to the university because just think
about it, why do you and I pay different? Thats what they want. They want business It is frustrating. I feel that education here is just another business. (personal communication, April 25,
2015)

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American universities are part of the countrys capitalistic beliefs, which can be seen in the cost
difference between international and domestic students. For instance, at Michigan State University, located in East Lansing, Michigan, there were a total of 7,643 international students out of roughly 50,000 student population (Michigan State University [MSU], 2015). These students come from countries such as,
China, Bolivia, Brazil, Angola, Australia, the Bahamas, Canada, the Dominican Republic, India, Kenya,
and Hong Kong (MSU, 2015). Their studies range from business, engineering, natural and social sciences, to natural resources (MSU, 2015). A study done at Indiana University Bloomington (IU Bloomington) states that having a significant International student population on campus creates opportunities for
all students to be more culturally sensitive and learn skills for a global work environment (Zhao, Kuh, &
Carini, n.d.). Meanwhile, International students tuition and fees at MSU are roughly $51,000 per year
and U.S. citizens pay between $22,000 and $44,000 depending on in state and out-of-state residency
(MSU, n.d.). IU Bloomington is about $57,000 for International students, and $21,000 to $44,000 for instate or out-of-state students (The Trustees of Indiana University, 2015a; Trustees of Indiana University,
2015b). Therefore, these well known universities are receiving major financial, cultural, intellectual, and
lingual profits from these students.
Through this brief review of one students thoughts and reactions on how international students at
MSU are valued - her perception is that the American academy values adjusting physical appearances to
be whiter, lingual diversity to be monolingual/ error free, and the financial assets to further perpetuate
the institutions methods of production.
Implications for Learning and Justice in
Schools and Beyond
Its a lofty goal for the higher education system in the U.S. to provide International students with
the support they need to feel valued for the cultural and lingual assets they offer. If we hope to achieve
this goal, it is important to provide continued reasons for counteracting the monolingual narrative by
telling stories such as Adriennes. The answer to the research question initially posed is that Adrienne
does not feel that her bilingualism has been beneficial so far for the progress toward her degree at MSU.
Therefore, professors, administrators, and students need to find additional methods for debunking the
monolingual myth that error free English is good English. In addition, continued work is needed to

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help students see their multiculturalism and multilingualism as assets that the institution values. As Adrienne puts it, think about this, if you can talk in English to a million people and talk in Spanish to a million people, wouldnt it be great? Now you can talk to two million people. Why are you denying your
roots? (personal communication, April 25, 2015). This is a message that is being shared already within
many composition classrooms, but we must also add a new dimension where we teach students to value
themselves, to not be afraid, and to understand that what they fear (like their accents) can actually be an
asset. In closing, the university can accomplish this by facilitating a more equally reciprocal relationship
that both values and provides value to international students.

References
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Michigan State University. (n.d.). Estimated costs for 2014-2015. Retrieved from https://admissions.msu.edu/finances/tuition.asp
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* Pseudonyms have been used for participants names to protect their privacy