Title:Manbooker

Author:Manasa
Dateofwriting:12thMarch2016
Analysis:Twoorthreegrammaticalerrors,astraight
forwardnewsarticle.Thearticleflowswell.But,atfew
placesthewritercouldeasilyhaveusedsimplerwords
Example:beginforinception,everyotheryear/alternate
yearinsteadofbiennially.Suchwordstripthereaders.
Especiallywhenthewriterhasanoptiontousereadily
understoodwords.Noviolationsfound.
Title:'Thethoughtsthatcrossabooknerd'sbrainwhen
theydon'tgetthebookstheylentbackontime'
Author:Manasa
Dateofwriting:10thMarch2016
Analysis:Thewriterisafraidtorepeatawordandshops
forsynonymsinstead.Thisleadsintothetrapofusing
wordsthatdon'tfitthecontext.Example:Sheusesnerdin
oneplaceandisafraidtorepeatitandthereforeuses
freak.Truthisbotharenegativewords,tellingsomehow
excessivereadingissomehowbadorunsociable.Onthe
contrarypeoplewhoreadalotarehighlyrespected.Look
atalevelbeneaththemeaningofthewordwillopenyour
eyes.Notjustfindingadifferentwordtoforcefit.The
titleiswaytoolongforthesimplethoughtoflendingand
notgettingbackthebooks.Inthetitlethewriterwrites
braininsteadofmind.Difference:brainisthephysical
organ,whereasmindisthethinkingorgan.Thewriterlost
meinthefirstsentenceitself.Noproperflow,difficult
tofollow.Thewriterstrovetomakethesimplecomplex,
beliyinghershallowthinking.
Title:Coldplay's'HymnForTheWeekend'+10International
songsThatWereShotInIndia
Author:Shwetha
Dateofwriting:26thMarch2016

Analysis:Thewritingappealstothereadershipofthis
genre(music).Theheadlineliststhefirstitemand
promisestotalkabouttenmore.Thewritermissestheword
'OTHER'intheheadline,writes'10internationalsongs'
insteadof10otherinternationalsongs'musicwriting.
Thesethingsshouldbekeptinmindasthesewillnotlook
professionalforanativespeaker.Thearticleisamajor
rewriteofthearticleIfoundat:
http://www.scoopwhoop.com/inothernews/9international
musicvideosthatwereshotinindia/
Thislookslikeonebigoverusedsitetoreferenceideas
for,andIamsuretheyalsohavesourceswheretheylift
contentfromandtheirwritersdotherest(rewriting).
Title:HereAreTheBestHoliSongsThatAddMoreColorTo
YourColorfulCelebrations
Author:Shwetha
DateofWriting:23rdMarch2016
Analysis:Thewritingiseasytoreadandinteresting.
Thereareafewtimesshethinksinhermothertongueand
writesthesameinEnglish.Therearefewgrammarerrors.
Sheshouldworkabitonherintroductions.Imeandosome
sentencerecastingsoshewillknowwhichwaytheintro
wouldlookbetter,insteadofbeginningwithanaverage
statement.Ithinkthisarticleisarewritefromthebelow
link:
http://www.dnaindia.com/entertainment/reportholiplaylist
15bollywoodsongswithoutwhichyourcelebrationsare
incomplete2193533

Title:DIYMakeupTipsForAllTheWouldbeBrides
Author:Sindhuri
DateofWriting:22March2016
Analysis:Theintroductioniswaybelowaverage.Thewriter
useswordssuchasmakeuppersonthereisnosuchwordin

English.Itismakeupartist.Thewriterhasaheavy
influenceofMTI(mothertongueinfluence).Iagreeyou
can'tinventthesetipsandyouhavetocompilethemfrom
reputablesources(thewriterhasdonethesamefromthe
linksgivenbelowherarticle)but,stillIbelievethe
writercouldhavedoneabetterjob.PersonallyIbelieve
thesearticlesonbeautytipswilltakealittleeffortto
write,butallinallcouldhavebeenwrittenbetter.
Title:3homemaderemediestogetridofthedarkarmpits
Author:Sindhuri
DateofWriting:17thMarch2016
Analysis:Theunpleasantismademoreunpleasantbythe
lackofanyinterestintheintro.Underarmsismoreproper
thanarmpitsthoughbothmeanthesame.Thesubjectis
littleawkwardandittakessomethinkingtowriteagood
intro.Thewritercouldhavestartedofby'whythearm
pitsgodark'orsomethingpositivelikewhodoesn'tlove
towearsleevelessduringspring'etctoputsomezinginto
thetopic.Theremediespartwaswrittenwell.Theydetail
proceduresandthesewerehandledwellbythewriter.The
articleiscompiledfrom:
http://www.homeveda.com/NaturalRemedies/Skin
Health/NaturalAyurvedicHomeRemediesforDarkUnderarms
Title:Thesemajorhealthcheckupsmustbedoneregularly
toprotectyourself
Author:Shruthi
Dateofwriting:March29th2016
Analysis:Theheadlinehangsintheair,stopswithprotect
yourself.Protectyourselffromwhat?Thearticleisall
aboutminorhealthcheckupsthattakeminimumoftimeand
moneytoavertmajorhealthrelatedissues.But,thewriter
intheheadlinesays'majorhealthcheckups:thinka
littlestraightplease.Thentheheadlineincomplete,ifit
isateaseroraquestionheadlinethatisok.Sincethis
headlineisastatementitdoesn'thaveaclosure.The

humanmindliketostartandfinishsomething(closure).
Nowcomingtotheintroduction.Thisalsobeginswitha
generalstatement.Neverbeginwithageneralstatement.
Startwithspecificsifany.Weareusedtoatonof
generalstatementsfromthemediaandreaderswilljust
shrugoffandleave.Eventheheadlinesofthethree
articlesthewriterreferencedarenotdifficulttowrite.
Tip:Hadthewriterlookedatsufficientsimilararticles
itwillbecomeeasierforhertoframeagoodheadline.So
insteadoflimitingyourselftothreeorfourarticleslook
atasmanyarticlesittakestowriteagoodheadline,at
leastaheadlinethatcouldstandupandsayhey!Lookat
me.

Apartfromtheseobviouserrorsthewritingisnottight
andthatshowsthethinkingisloose.Somepartofitis
confusing:'CompleteBloodPicture(CBP):Thistestreveals
allaboutyourhealthandanyonecancheckupatthenear
bylabsandhospitals.'Noonetestrevealsallaboutyour
health.AndanyonecanGETacheckupdonenotjustcan
checkup.Writinglikethis:inaccurateandsloppylooses
thereaderstrustofthewriter.Againitbegstorepeata
secondreadingwilleliminatealotofloosewriting.The
articlehasaflowtoit.Easytoreadandisofvalueto
thereader.Ironingouttheissueslistedwillmakeita
strongarticleandgoodonetoo.Violationsfoundnone.
Title:Shruthi
Title:StayHealthybyGrowingThesePowerfulMedicinal
PlantsinYourGarden
DateofWriting:22ndMarch2016
Analysis:Thefirstparagraph:Whatdoesthewritermeanby
theword'faint'itmeanssickonlythewriterknows.
Insteadof'weuse'shewrites'weareusing'orinstead
oftheairwebreatheshewrites'theairwearebreathing'
andaboveallsheconfusesfewtenses:'isalsobecome

pollutedthesedays'insteadofhasbecomepollutedthese
days.Shewritesprovidesgoodhealth,itcausesgood
healthtocome,oritbringsgoodhealth.Evenahospital
doesn'tprovidehealthitprovidesfacilitiestorecover
fromsickness.Againshewrites'wecanuseforalotof
healthissues'insteadof'wecanusethemtotreatalot
ofhealthissues'Lookatthedifferenceinunderstanding
onewordbrings.Nowthelastsentenceofthefirst
paragraph:'whatthoseplantsandit's(sheshouldwrite
theirsandthisissimplegrammarhowyoustartsoyou
finishyoudon'tchangegrammarinthemiddleofthe
sentence).Sentenceaftersentenceismuddledand
impossibletoread.
Comingtotherestofthearticle:Shewrites'Fenugreek
seedsandleavesareUSINGfromcenturiesUSEDsincenot
USINGfromcentuies.Oneerrorrepeatingeverywhere:verb
+inginsteadofverbinthesimplepasttense.
Comingtotheuseofwords:Shewrites'humanbeing'
insteadofMAN.Againshewritesithealswoundsandcuts
verysooninsteadofveryquickly.Soonandquicklypresent
differentlengthoftime.Thereareotherspecificwords
like'helps,aids,speedsup,healsetcandformostof
thesewordsthewriterusesonlyonewordprovideswhichis
misleading.
Otherthanthesethearticleiseasytoread,hasaflow
andisusefultoanyhealthconsciousreader.
Title:Problemswefaceafteramemorablevacation
Author:RatnaKumari
Dateofwriting:30thApril2016
Analysis:Astheheadlinesaysthesearenotproblemsbut
somelifestyleandmindsetadjustments.Yestherewill
alwaysbesomelingeringnostalgiaaboutthevacation
comingtoanend.Thewritertookwhatthearticleshe
referredtoandcalledtheseproblemsinsteadofcalling
them'postvacationlifestyleadjustments'.Tostartwith
thewritersfirsttwolinesareincomprehensible.Andonly

shecanexplainwhatitmeans.Thebestwaytowritean
introductiontosuchanarticleistostartoffbystating
fewproblemsandtakingthereaderthroughtherestofthem
tilltheendofthearticle.Shejustmoreorlessrewrote
fromwhatshefoundinthereferencearticle.Whenyou
writeallbasedononearticleyouwillmostlikelyendup
withaweakarticle.
ThewriterdoestrytowriteinEnglishbutstrugglesto
saywhatshewantstosay.Forexample:'Because,itisthe
onlywaytolifeoutourlifeinthemosthappiestway.
Bringingnewworldtoourfamilyandbecomingpartofevery
memoryofitisnothingshortof'onceinalifetime
experience'.Isn'tit?YES'Ireallydon'tknowwhatshe
meansandnoreaderwillsitthroughwholedayto
understandwhatthewritermeant.Anyhowthisisbad
Englishbecauseitisinconsideratetothereader.Again
'Likeasaying'everyproblemhasasolutionwithit',in
thesameway'everymerrytriphaspostvacationproblem'.
Thisisawrongandabadcomparison.Thepatternthe
writerstartedwithisproblem/solutionnowsheshouldalso
continuethesamewaybutshenowsaysmerrytrip./problem.
Thenagainshewrites:Yes,it'strue.Ifyoudonotagree
withusgoontoexperiencethetruth'Neversayifyou
don'tagreewithus/mesayitishardtodisagreewithwhat
I'msaying.Bedirectinanindirectway.
Atmanyplacestryingtorewritefromthearticlesheis
referringtohascreatedmuddledwriting.Thisisworst
thanaFILLER.
Title:10+7signswhichprovethatyouareaborntraveler
Author:RatnaKumari
Dateofwriting:28thMarch2016
Analysis:Thisisabetterarticlefromthewriter.The
writerstruggleswithprepositionsinEnglish.Not'ifyou
thinginthesamewaybutifyouthinkALONGthesameway.
'inwhichIconcludesaysthewriteritisFROMwhichI
concludeiswhatmakesitcorrect.Again'Moreoveryou're
bestatexplainingtheplaceinthemap'notinthemapbut

ONthemap.Anotherone:'you'rebestinpackingitshould
beyou'rebestATpacking.
Therearealsoslipsingrammar.Thewriterusesclassify
whenusingtheverbinpresentthirdperson.Itshouldbe
classifies.Shewritesdreamt(pasttenseofdream)when
referringtofuture.Itshouldbe'dayornightyoualways
DREAMaboutvacationingsomewhereintheworld.
Languageerroralsocalledsemanticerror:Youaregoodat
adjustingtoanykindoffood,saysthewriter.Youshould
sayyoulovelocalfoodandsheshouldhaveendedwith
Thisishowyoufeelafteryou'vereadthroughinsteadof
'Andhereisyourfeelingafterreadingthiswriteup.I
foundmanyofusingthewordwriteupandtellingthereader
toreadthewriteupthereaderwillalwaysreadwhatshe
likestoreadsomakeitinterestingwithoutdemanding.
Title:ResponseonMicrosoft'sEdgebrowser
Author:Radhika
DateofWriting:30thMarch2016
Analysis:Therearegrammarglitchesandusageissuesin
thearticle.Thetitlesaysresponseonbutitshouldbe
responseto,toisthecorrectpreposition.Thetitlecan
bemuchstrongerthantheonewrittenbythewriter.The
introductionalsoisstraightforwardnewskindasthis
articleisasoftfeaturebecauseitinvolvesthewhyand
theanalysis.
Thewriterneedstograsptheuseofprepositions.The
articleisriddledinmanyplaceswithincorrectEnglish.
Thewriterwrites'growthinthedigitalmarketatleast
doesn'tevenreachedtheexpectations.'itisdidn'teven
reachtheexpectations.
Inthisparagraph:'Thereportedlypercentofusageis
foundouttobearound1323%ofglobalWindows10by
threefirmsnamelyNetApplications,DigitalAnalytics
Program,StatCounterGlobal.OfcourseMicrosoftannounced

itasthereplacementtothecurrentinternetexplorerbut
itcouldn'tdothat.'itshouldbereportedinthestart
oftheparagraphandfoundtobeandnot'foundout'.The
lastfourwordsthephraseshouldbebutitcouldn't
achievethat.
Somesentencesarehangingwithoutobjects.'Oneofthe
researchers,Duo,alsorevealedthattheEdge's
counterpartsaremakingagreatgrowth'greatgrowthin
what?Andlookatthissentence'Edgegotsettledat21%'
justsayandEdgeonlysettledfor21%.
Wronguseofwords:escalateisnotuseforgrowth.For
growththewordsareincrease,rise,shootupetc.Thereis
aflowtothearticle.Itiseasytoreadandunderstand
thepointthewriterisaimingat.
Title:Hereisthelibraryofextensionsforthe
Microsoft'slatestEdgebrowser
Author:Radhika
Dateofwriting:26thMarch2016
Analysis:Thisarticlestartsoffbetterthantheearlier
onewrittenbytheauthor.Therearesomegrammar/spelling
issuesthatkeeponshowingup.'Butafteralmost8months,
thecompanywasbeengenerousandfinallyreleasedafew
extensionsinMarch,2016.'Nowhowcanyoucallsomebody
generouswhenafter8monthyoukeepyourcustomerswaiting
toreleasewhatshouldrightfullytheirs.Againthewriter
slipsgrammaticallyandwriteswasinsteadofhas.This
showsshedidn'treadthroughthisarticleafterwritingit
otherwisehowcansuchthingsstillbefoundonpage.
Thearticlehasagoodflow.Easytoreadandhasgood
substance.
Title:Thingsonlyyourbestfriendunderstand
Author:Kanchan
Dateofwriting:30thMarch2016

Analysis:Thewriterdidagoodjobonthisarticle.The
styleofwritingsuitsthechosensubjectwell.Inthe
titlethewordCANshouldbeinplacebetweenthewords
friendandunderstand.Alsoalmostallofthewriters
reviewedsofarusethewordright!Asifsayingisn'tit
not?ThereisnosuchexpressioninEnglishtoexpress
isn'titnot.
Title:Controversialstatementsoffamouspersonalities
Author:Kanchan
Dateofwriting:29thMarch2016
Analysis:Exceptfortheincorrectuseoffewwordsandthe
wordright!Thisarticleflowswell.Allofthewriters
sometimesfallinthetrapofthinkinginanIndian
language.Englishiswrittenandspokendifferentlythan
ourlanguages.Thatshouldalwaysbekeptinmind.
Especiallywhenwritingarticlesonlifestyleandnews,
cultureetc.ThewordpersonalitiesisnotusedinEnglish
thewayweuseitinIndia.Sotheproperwordhereis
People.Thewriteratoneplacewrites'wehopeheneeds
nointroductionright!Thewordhopeusedherethiswayis
wronginEnglish.Insteadshecouldhavewithoutsweat
written:Thisyoungmanneedsnointroductionete.

Title:GrabRightShoesBeforeStartingaWorkoutRoutine
Author:Suman
Dateofwriting:31stMarch2016
Analysis:Awellwritten,comprehensivearticle.The
articletalksabouttheimportanceofpickingshoesto
ensurefootcomfortandtopreventfootinjury.Sothat
shouldingeneralbethetitleofthearticle.Hereand
therethewriterslipsinsomeerrorsingrammarandusage.

Interestingarticlewithgoodflowandeasytoread.
Readingthisgivesmeafeelthatthewriterresearcheda
lotandwroteoutofhisunderstandinginhisownwordsand
style.GoodJob.
Title:SwimmingEtiquette:Do'sandDon'tstoswimsafely
inapoolandopenwater
Author:Suman
Dateofwriting:25thMarch2016
Analysis:Anotherwellwrittenarticle.Therearefewer
slipsofgrammarandusageinthisthantheearlierone.
GoodintroductionfollowedbytheDo'sandDon'tsanda
close.Againinteresting,easytoreadandflowssmoothly.
Title:MakeinIndiaAnambitiousIndianProject
Author:Srinivas
Dateofwriting:29thMarch2016
Analysis:Theintroisweakandisalreadycarriedbyother
websites.Itisfromthesethewritergottheideaforthe
introorratherheusedisas.Therestofthenarrative
flowssmoothly.Thereoneortwoinstancesofloose
writing.Thewriterdoesn'thavetoreinventthewheelby
tryingtocomeupwithanewintrobutifhecanread
throughasmanyintros(fromthearticlesheisusingasa
reference)hewillimmediatelyhaveagoodideaabouthow
towriteastrongoneforhisarticle.Interesting,easyto
readandflowssmoothly.
Title:Thewordsyouremployerswanttolistenfromyou
Author:Srinivas
Dateofwriting:28thMarch2016
Analysis:Intheheadlinethewriterwrotelisteninstead
ofhear.Butdowninthearticleheusedthewordhear.
Thiscanbepreventedbydoingacarefulsecondreading.
Apartfromthistheintroisveryweak.Againheshould
havereadenoughintrostalkingaboutsimilarsubjectto
writeastrongintroinhisownwords.Ibelievethisis
theeasiestwaytowriteintrosratherthanthinkinghard
tocomeupwithone.Foranentrepreneurtherearestepsin

theladderorgoalsnottargets.Alsoonerunsa
company/businessnotmaintainsit.Youperformwellnot
good.Soherethematteriswhyyoushouldusewhatword.
Constantconstructiveimmediatefeedbackwillgetthe
writerquicklyontrack.Therearesomeslipsinusingof
prepositionsasthewritersaysinworkwhenheshouldsay
atwork.Againinsteadofwritingbusyworklifehewrites
engagedworklife.Thenthecommonuseofingverbwhen
theverbinthebasefromiscorrectandstrong.'These
requestingwordshewritesinsteadofthesewordsof
request.'You'llnotdowngradebysayingthisword'she
writesdowngradeorupgradesomethingorsomebody,herethe
writermeantyourself(theobjectismissing).Heendswith
choosingtherightemployeefortherightjobisalways
appreciated,nowthatisnotalwaysrightbutitgetsthe
jobdonethatiswhatthewritershouldhavesaid.Allin
alltheideaisinterestingbutthewordsandlanguagethat
wentintoitmakesitirritatingtoread.

Title:LittleStars
Author:Shakir
Dateofwriting:30thMarch2016
Analysis:Thewriterslipsandfallsmanytimesintothe
muddywatersofgrammarandusage.Fewofthesentencesare
notcorrectEnglish.Thewriterwrites'thesecartoonshows
arebaseduponthetasteandpreferencesofeachkid.Now
thatisnottrue!HeintendedtowriteTherearesomany
cartoonsonTVthatoneortheotherwillsuitthetaste
andpreferenceofkids.Againhewritescartoonsare
flexibleonlyforkids.WhathemeansisItisnotonly
kidswholovecartoonsbutadultsaswellenjoysomeof
themesonwhichthesecartoonsarebasedon.Thewriter
writes'ifsuppose'eitheritisiforsuppose.Againhe
writes'ourstarkidswillappearascartoonson
television.Thestarkidswillstarasfamouscharactersis
whatheintendedtowrite.Cartoonsandfamouscartoon
charactersaredifferentthewritermixedthesetwouptwo
timesinarow.

Itwouldhavebeenmuchbetterandeasyhadthewriterjust
gotdowntothepointbyintroducingthekidandwhich
famouscartooncharacterhecouldplaybest.
Thewriterisacreativewriter,butthereislotofmother
tongueinfluenceinhiswriting.
Title:Bollywoodmoviesbasedonbigfatweddings
Author:Shakir
Dateofwriting:26thMarch2016
Analysis:Thefirstlinebeginswithawrongcomparison.
Youcancompareapplestoapplesororangestoorangesnot
applestooranges.Likewisethewritercomparescouplesto
therelationship(fishandwater/fishandfisherman).Iam
sureheintendedtocomparerelationships.Thisisamatter
ofarranging/clarifyingyourthoughts.Thisisavery
interestingarticleforamoviebuff.ThewriterasIsaid
earlierisquitecreativebutshouldseriouslylookinto
clarifyingthoughtsandwritingwithclarity.
Title:Whatmadepeopletoqueueformodel3outsidetesla
outlet
Author:Shasikanth
Dateofwriting:April1st2016
Analysis:Excellent.Wellwritten.Goodflow.Crispand
clear.Icouldfindonlythreemistakesinthewhole
article.Thewriterusedspaciousnessforspace,twohe
used'inourmoney'insteadofINRandthree:heused'book
in'insteadofbookat.
Title:9mustneededglamoraccessoriesforyourcar
Author:Shasikanth
Dateofwriting:30thMarch2016
Analysis:Thefirssentenceisafoggysentence.Itis
alwaysagreatfeelingtorideacustomizedormodifiedcar
iswhatshouldbewritten.Thereareagainfewmistakes:
leavetheaccessoriesoptioninsteadofleftthe

accessoriesoption.Thewriterwritesleaveorvehiclein
samenessinsteadofleaveourvehiclejustthesame.Again
hewritestheentertainmentsystemis.makesyouwell
knownforitsluxuryhecouldhavesaidmakesyoulook
cool.Apartfromthesemistakesthearticleisinteresting,
easytoreadandflowssmoothly.

Title:AdvancementofWomencricketinIndia
Author:Varun
Dateofwriting:2ndApril2016
Analysis:Thefirstlinewouldbemuchstrongifthewriter
wroteacontrastinsteadofastatement.'Thefirstperson
toscoreadoublehundredinanODIisNOTSachinTendulkar
but.Thewriterwrites'verylesspeopleinsteadofvery
fewpeopleandthereisoneanothergrammarslip:Womenis
pluralofwomanandwoman'sissingularpossessive.
Thewriteratthreeplacesinthearticle.Atoneplacethe
writerwrites'butstill'insteadof'butyet'nowthatis
thinkinginthemothertongueandwritinginEnglish.
Interestingarticle,easytoread,goodflow.
Title:Shewag'sStyleofMadness
Author:Varun
Dateofwriting:30thMarch2016
Analysis:Exceptforawordorarticlemissinghereand
therethearticleflowswellandisinformative.The
paragraphaboutShewaghelpingwiththecareerofIshant
Sharmashouldcomeintheendnotinthemiddle.
Title:FromPrereleaseeventtoreleasewallpostersA
Glanceatmoviepromotions
Author:Ranjith
Dateofwriting:2ndApril2016
Analysis:Thisarticlecertainlyisgoodfodderforfilm
buffsonthechangingtrendsinthepromotionoffilms.
ExceptfortwogrammarslipsIfoundthearticleclearand
withoutanyerrors.Thewriterisconfusedbetweenusing
thewordfewandless.Whenyoucancountitisfewwhen

youcan'tcountitisless.Atoneplacethereis
cumbersomeconstruction'gotchanged'thisshouldbewas
changed/werechanged.Interestingarticle,easytoread,
goodflow.
Title:Theumpiringskillsoftheseheroeswillmakeyou
lol
Author:Ranjith
Dateofwriting:29thMarch2016
Analysis:Theintroductionislongwindedandveryweak.
Insteadthewritershouldhavebegunwiththemannerismsof
theumpireonthefieldandrelatethosetothefilmstars.
Allthatwasmissingforthisfunnyarticleisastrong
intro.
Title:UnusualGoalsfromtheUnconventionalPlayer
Author:Mahesh
Dateofwriting:17thMarch2016
Analysis:Thewritingstyleisconversational.The
introductionisinvitingandthearticleisinterestingto
readwithlotofanimatedvisuals.Thereareafewmistakes
thatstrikeasunprofessional.Firsttheheadline:itis
not'theunconventionalplayer'eitheritis
'unconventionalplayer'or'thisunconventionalplayer'.
Secondinthefirstparagraphthewriterwrites:said
that'insteadof'giventhat'Third:underthesubhead
'magicalheadergoal'thewriterwrites'fightsforhis
requirements.'insteadofwriting'fightsfortheball.'
Thewritershouldusethelanguageofthegame.Itis
obviouseverybodyfightsfortheballtoscoreandthatis
therequirement.Usingthelanguage(jargon)ofthesubject
athandgivesthewritercredibilityintheeyesofthe
readerandpresentshimasaprofessional.
Title:Bestofcomicalredcardsinsoccer
Author:Mahesh
Dateofwriting:12thMarch2016
Analysis:Exceptforonemistakewherethewriterwrites
'...have'insteadofhasthisisacoolandcleararticle
lovedeverysportslover.Thisisaterriblemistakeasthe

verbhaveandhas(usedonlyforthirdpersonsingular
he/she/it)isverybasicinEnglish.Otherthanthisthis
isaninterestingarticle.
Title:Whatifscientistsarealiveandusefacebook?
Author:Hanumakiran
Dateofwriting:31stMarch2016
Analysis:Firstbeginwiththeheadlineanditshouldread:
Whatifscientistofyore/yesteryearsarealivetodayand
usefacebook?.Theintroisinterestingexceptforthelast
twosentencesthatruinthearticle.Thewriterwrits'But
nowwecomeupwithafunnyidea'allhecouldhavesaid
wasaskthereaderthequestion:'everwonderedwhatit
wouldbelikeifthoseinventorswereonfacebook?Read
furtherandhavefun.'Thisseemstobetheproblemwith
lotofwritersafterdevelopingagoodideawitha
strong/interestingintrotheydon'tknowhowtohandlethe
readerortheyseemtobeafraidtodirectlytalktothe
reader.Whytellthealreadyinterested/curious/amused
readerthathe/sheiscurious/interested/amused.Bedirect.
Don'tbeataroundthebush.Thereadersliketobetold
whatexactlytheyhavetodo.
Title:Expensiveappsontheappstore
Author:Hanumakiran
Dateofwriting:25hMarch2016
Analysis:Thewritersometimessuffersfromtheeffectsof
mothertongueinfluenceinhiswriting.Therearealsosome
sillygrammarandusageerrors.Whenthewriterwritesthey
arebetteralternativesthanwhathehasalreadylisted,it
ishisdutytotellthereaderwhatthoseareandwhy.This
thewriterfailstodo.
Nowthedissection:Theauthorwrites'launchedata
specialevent'insteadof...duringaspecialevent'But,
whatisyourreactionhewritesinsteadof'howwillyou
react'nowthatisthinkinginthemothertongue.Water
freezesintoicecubesinthefridgenotyoufreezelike
icecubesinthefridgethatissloppywritingatbest.

Againhewrites:'...suchpaidappsinwhichsomeare
useful..'insteadof'...suchpaidappsfrom/ofwhichsome
areuseful'misuseofprepositions.Thesameambivalence
totalktothereader:hewrites'whywaittoseethose
exorbitantapps?Checkthemnow.Hecouldeasilytellthem
theyareprohibitivelyexpensebysayingthereaderwill
notwanttotouchthemwithatenfootpole.
'It'saguidancetothepeopleinthemedicalfieldhe
writes'thatisagainthinkinginthemothertongueand
writinginEnglish.It'saguidenotguidanceisthe
answer.Writingaboutthetouchchatapp'...whichleadthem
nottousetheirnaturalvoice.'insteadof'...because
theycan'tusetheirnaturalvoice.'FortheTapMenuapp
hewrites:'you'llmakeyoureyesbig'nowthatisagain
thinkinginthemothertongueandwritinginEnglish.
Easilyhecanwriteyoueyeswillgrowwideassaucers'
Whenyoudon'tknowsomethinginEnglishyouWondernot
think,thisagainiswritingunderthemothertongue
influence.
HewritesundertheiDIAapp'it'shighlydifficulttosay
theexactproblem'youdescribetheproblemthatisthe
properwordtousethere.Andthisclosingsentenceofthe
article:We,heredetailedonlyfewappsandthere
availablemoreandmorecostliestappsintheAppStore.
Whatdoestheabovemean.Simplywrite:detailedhereare
onlyfewofthepriceyappsandprobablytherecouldbe
moresuchappsavailableintheAppstore.

Title:HappyBirthdayPrabudeva:10LesserKnownFacts
AboutTheIndianMichaelJackson
Author:Ashakiran
Dateofwriting:
Analysis:GoodprofileofPrabhudeva.Allinallacrisp

andclearpresentation.Thereareafewmistakesrightfrom
theheadline.Youdon'tuse'the'beforepropernouns
(names,places).Inthefirstlineoftheintro:enjoying
hisfather'sstardom.'Enjoyingisincorrectinsteadthe
correctwordisbankrolling.Inthethirdlineinthe
intro:'...knownasIndianMichaelJacksonbyhisbeloved
fans.'ItshouldbeknownasIndianMichaelJacksonto
hisbelovedfans.Wrongprepositionthere.Thenthefourth
andthelastlineoftheintro:'...ashehasturned43
today.'Thewriterusedpresentperfecttensewhichis
incorrectinthiscontextitshouldbesimplepast,thatis
asheturned43today.Therestofthearticleisfine.
Goodflow,easytoread,wellpresented.
Title:MovieswithFestivalsintheTitle
Author:Ashakiran
Dateofwriting:
Analysis:Thereareacoupleofmisses.A'the'hereanda
'to'there.Ifoundonlyonebigerror.Againthisistodo
withtheuseofprepositions.Underthesubtitleofthe
filmRakhithewriterusestwowordswithloveand
responsibilitywithasingleprepositionbetween.Forthe
wordlovethisprepositioniscorrect.Butfortheword
responsibilitytheprepositioniswrongandshouldbe
to/towards.Interestingarticle,easytoread,andflows
well.