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illustrated in the chart above, undocumented immigrants living in the United States in 2013
amounted to approximately 41.3 million, making them only 13 percent of the U.S population.
The U.S. population is
growing by a net gain of one
person every 13 seconds. As the
U.S. gains more people, this makes
resources harder to get and
the U.S. less affordable to
live in. While the United
States cant control how
many kids are born in the
U.S., it can prevent
immigrants from coming
into the country illegally by
keeping the tension and
hopefully the population more controllable. With a high population it iseven just thirteen percent
of the population identified as undocumented, it is affecting our country. It means more carbon
dioxide, less water, more competitive colleges and fewer financial resources, and fewer available
jobs. Californias population is currently 39,144,818; 38.6 percent are Hispanic and 27 percent
are illegal (Census). A higher population means more people are driving and releasing toxins into
our atmosphere. While we cant control who is born here, we can control who comes here.
One of the most important concerns of U.S. citizens is that the illegal immigrants are
stealing their jobs. When talking to my mom one subject that is not really brought up is her work.
My mom, and four of her siblings, work at a factory. I always ask her why she hasnt changed
jobs now that she has papers. She always response with es donde yo empeze y es donde voy a
terminar. Its where I began and its where Im going to end. She then explains how shes not
very fluent in the English language and shes comfortable there. The unemployment rate is at 5
percent in the United States; whites have a percentage of 4.3 percent while Hispanics have 5.6
be here to come, letting them fulfill their dreams by doing the process the right and the safest
way. Creating less tension between the U.S. citizens and the illegals and both of the countries.
Veronica
Overall, this is a good start. Your personal stories make the ideas come alive.
Heres my feedback for your final draft:
Make sure you are framing this essay as a conversation between two sides. So, say things like
Opponents of a wall argue or Proponents of undocumented immigration believe Let
them speak for themselves. Quote them directly. If you simply summarize what they claim (i.e.
[they believe] immigrants are stealing their jobs), you run the risk of strawmanning their ideas.
Ultimately, there are many ideas in this essay, but you must explicitly discuss the dialogue. What
do proponents of a wall (or undocumented immigration, depending on the specific conversation
you wish to discuss) argue? What do opponents specifically argue? Why?
Then, explore where the overlapwhere they agree. When you find a point of agreement, you
can work toward a compromise.
Dont forget to add the Works Cited page! Make sure all sources are properly cited. I pointed out
ideas in the essay that are not cited.
Be sure to review all marginal comments for more details.
If you have any questions, please dont hesitate to contact me. I look forward to reading your
final draft!
Works Cited