MARYMARG.

AEC Chart for Online Submission

(THE CHART MUST BE WRITTEN IN PHRASES AND/OR BULLETS! NO COMPLETE SENTENCES!
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sheet to assist you on your commentary development
BABCOCK TAKE 1
Take 2
Thesis Information:
Author: Florence Kelley
Prompt Name: Florence Kelley THERE IS
NOT A NAME FOR THIS PROMPT
Rhetorical Mode: Persuasive
Subject: Exploration <-THIS WORD
DOESNT MAKE SENSE of the conditions of
child labor.
Explanation of the conditions of child labor
Audience: Mothers, teachers, women, and
grandmothers DONT MAKE THIS A LIST

Shifts: KELLEY shifts from DISCUSSING

THE Ages of children to hours that children
are working
Purpose: to change child labor laws. Fight for
the right to vote COMBINE THEM
TOGETHER TO MAKE THEM ONE
COHESIVE THOUGHT
If women had the right to vote they may
have the right mind to vote against
certain child labor laws which Florence
Kelley is highly critical about.

Women

SQ: For the sake of the children USE

QUOTATION MARKS AND CITE

Occasion: Women Suffrage Convention

For the sake of the children

Tone: Passionate, determined, indignant, and

critical PICK ONE Passionate

Why: W/o change our society wont progress

Thesis Sentence:

Assertion 1 Concept: Guilt trips PUT THE CONCEPT UP HERE AS WELL

Author: Florence Kelley
Assertion Concept: Guilt trips <-STRENGTHEN PHRASING audience with logical terms of labor
laws I AM NOT UNDERSTANDING THE LOGICAL TERMS OF LABOR LAWS
Florence Kelley overwhelms the audience with points trying to guilt them with data
based information about child labor laws.
To/by Statement: (basic verb: to prove synonym) TO Demonstrate
Purpose/why: (rephrased) Proving to people that child labor laws arent good the way they are
set up AND THE WAY THEY ARE SET UP DOESNT SOUND RIGHT; REPHRASE and
women should have a right to vote against them.
Child labor laws force little kids under the age of 15-16 to work in a sweat shop this doesnt seem
fair to Kelley so she tries to prove to her audience that child labor laws need to change.
Assertion Sentence:

ADJ + DEVICE + TEXTUAL EVIDENCE:

1. Logos <-WE DONT CALL IT LOGOS
WHERE IS YOUR ADJECTIVE
Logical Data
of data : We have, in this country, two
million children under the age of
sixteen who are earning their bread.
CITATION (p1)
WRAP BACK

2. Anadiplosis
Repetitive
But we are almost powerless. Not wholly
powerless, however are citizens who
enjoy the right of petition (p10)
WRAP BACK

3. Personification
Humanly
Last year New Jersey took a long
backward step (p6)
WRAP BACK

COMMENTARY:

Assertion 2 Concept: ___________________

Adverbial Clause (Trans. +Previous Ass idea):
Author:
Assertion Concept:
To/by Statement: (basic verb: to prove)
Purpose/why:
Assertion Sentence:

EVIDENCE:

COMMENTARY:

1.
WRAP BACK
2.
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3.
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Assertion 3 Concept:
Adverbial Clause (Trans. +Previous Ass idea):
Author:
Assertion Concept:
To/by Statement: (basic verb: to prove)
Purpose/why:
Assertion Sentence:

EVIDENCE:
1.
WRAP BACK
2.
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3.
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COMMENTARY: