aJasmine Li

Writing 2
De Piero
4.12.16
WP1: The Difference in Digital Thoughts
In the 21st century, the most common form of writing is in social media and more specifically,
social media captions and statuses. Especially as a college student, people use it daily from the moment
one open their eyes until one closes them and falls asleep. Social media is used by everyone, particularly

Comment [1]: Sadly, I think the vast majority of the

public does this -- not just college students. :(

with teenagers. Everywhere you look, you can see at least one person on their phone. The world today

Comment [2]: What's this sentence doing for you?

What's it accomplishing?

revolves around technology, proving how big of an impact social media has had on everyone. But the
wording with social media is extremely different from other forms of writing such as letters, professional
emails, and textbooks; this genre is casual, personal, and does not require extensive thought. Three

You mentioned "college students" in the previous

sentence and you're mentioning "everyone" in this
sentence, so why the "teenagers" part?
Comment [3]: I think you fluffed out this intro a bit too
much. Get me hooked, then begin to lay down your
argument on me. No fluff.

sources of social media that uses this type of wording include Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram captions
and statuses.
Facebook is definitely not as often used as it was before. Looking through many Facebook
profiles, I found that many Facebook statuses or captions either update friends about a significant
update in their life, change in relationship status, or something that would tell the friends about their
connections etc. The purpose of Facebook is to share ones life with another. The caption or status have

Comment [4]: I need more of a specific, driving thesis

statement, Li. What, exactly, are you going to be
arguing here? And what specific points are you going
to use to make that case? What about the conventions
within this genre will you be emphasizing? Also: do
you think itd help your reader (technically, me) to lay
out which specific sources youll be using to make your
case? Ie, whose FB, Twitter, and Instagram posts?
I'm also wondering what your TOPIC is. I know what
genre you'll be focusing on -- social media
captions/statuses -- but... about what?

dictions are wordier and specific. This is because the purpose of these status is to share with others what
they are doing or what is new in their life. The audience is everyone since most people have hundreds and
hundreds of friends. It usually isnt very personal but at the same time still special. The audience for
Facebook statuses is very general. Since it is a very public form of social media people usually do not
post what they dont want everyone to know. Especially with Facebook, it is extremely easy for people to
share information with other people. There is not a big age group with Facebook. It ranges from middle
school children to adults so there is not really a specific audience. Scrolling through my feed, I also saw
many statuses about peoples opinion on their views. Since Facebook has such a broad network, many

Comment [5]: You're jumping around quite a bit here,

Li. What's the 1 main idea of this paragraph (whatever
that is, I think you should consider succinctly laying it
out in your topic sentence, that way your reader has a
clear understanding of what this paragraph is about),
and how does it enhance/contribute to your argument?
Comment [6]: Views about what? I think you need a
controlling idea here, Li, otherwise this paper is just
about... a whole bunch of random stuff. And if it's
about a whole bunch of random stuff, you won't be
able to analyze how *form* and *content* feed off/onto
each other.

people use it to share their point of view on things. The purpose of this is to share their thoughts but also
be able to see comments of others. This is a very easy and effective way to find out other peoples
opinions and what they think about something. The tone of Facebook statuses depends on the person and
event. Some statuses are very casual for example one may say, like my status for a fun fact about you.
A more serious example may be I will be attending University of California, Santa Barbara. I chose this
school becauseetc. These are two completely different statuses but both are commonly found on
Facebook. It uses first order thinking which is thinking that is intuitive and creative and doesnt strive
for conscious direction or control (Elbow 55) The whole purpose is to share your life with others which
is why statuses are overall casual and tend not to be very professional.
Compared to Facebook statuses, twitter is extremely different. Twitter is extremely personal and
opinionated. Someone will usually have less than a hundred followers compared to hundreds on
Facebook. Twitter does have a constraint of 140 words so that shows that the tone is usually not too
specific since there is a constraint. A constraint is known as something that limits the way the discourse
is delivered or communicated (Carroll 49) On twitter one can usually say anything they want. The whole
purpose of a tweet is to share your opinion. If one person agrees they can retweet it and if they do not
agree, they can reply with their own opinion. The audience of tweets are more specific. Most people
usually only follow their closer friends. Many tweets are very controversial because people do not censor
much of what they post on twitter. People tend to be very open and say whatever they think using first

Comment [7]: This may be a personal pet peeve of

mine, but Id like to advise you to steer clear of things
in academic writing (maybe even all writing!). Its
suuuuuuper vague. Academic writing requires
precision and specificitybe direct and tell me exactly
what youre talking about. Pick the 1 word that really
captures the idea(s) that you want to get across.
Comment [8]: Tone is an excellent idea to bring up and
analyze for this paper, but right here it's buried within
the paragraph (and I'm not really sure what the
paragraph is ultimately about).
I think you'd really benefit from forcing yourself to
create an outline, paragraph by paragraph, about the
major points/ideas you're bringing up in your paper.
THEN, you want to go back and see if each sentence
comes back to those main points.
In other words, if you had a whole paragraph about
tone, great! This sentence is spot-on within that
paragraph.
But right now, you've got a sentence about tone, and...
what's the paragraph about?
Comment [9]: I don't want hypotheticals here. Give me
direct textual evidence that supports your argument.
Comment [10]: This is a REALLY cool idea to bring up
in your paper, but I feel like it's buried in the paragraph.
Comment [11]: Remember, Twitter is a
program/website. It's not a textual genre in the same
way that FB statuses are.
Comment [12]: Constraint is a tremendous concept to
bring up here. Question for you: would it help your
paper/argument at all if you had a whole paragraph
devoted to the constraints in EACH of the 3 sources?
Ie, 1 paragraph about constraints in FB, Twitter, and
IG? What would/could that do for your analysis?

Comment [13]: Such as? I need evidence here.

order thinking more than Facebook does. This can be both a bad and good thing. The purpose of twitter is
to share ones opinion compared to Facebook statuses which is to share your life. Facebook may include
opinions but twitter has a more open and accepting audience. The audience for twitter is also filled with
more teenagers so there are more different opinions tweeted. The diction is very simple and casual.
Tweets are meant to be read quickly and conveniently. People are not trying to read a story instead are
looking to read a one sentence opinion. This is different compared to Facebook since most Facebook
statues are more paragraph like. Facebook and Twitter diction are both casual and personal. Both revolve
around the writer more than the reader. Twitter is so casual that people may even subtweet someone. For

Comment [14]: I like how you're going back to FB and

explaining how/why they're different.

example, if two friends got in a fight, one may tweet, I never thought our friendship would end like this.
A twitter account is like a public diary. Many tweets that want to convince their audience of something
may use pathos because it is a very effective appeal if the rhetor has to persuade the audience in a very

Comment [15]: The "for example" is a good idea, but

the example you listed here isn't really an example.
I need you to use actual data here, Li. I need you to be
looking at *specific* documents and making claims
about them that help you support a position/argument.

short amount of time. (Carroll 53) Twitter can sometimes be so casual in fact, that there may be
consequences since a tweet may offend someone. But other than that, its fun and it really shows you how
a person thinks.
Although Instagram is a photo-based social media, a big part of it is also photo captions. I know
for myself, I spend a while thinking of a caption for my picture. Captions for Instagram are usually short
and witty. For example, when I was stressed out for midterms I posted a picture with the caption, Back
to when midterms werent a thing. Captions are short, simple, and capture the picture with a couple
words. There is an even bigger constraint on Instagram captions than tweets. This is because tweets are
focused on words compared to Instagram where is it focused more on the picture. The captions are
usually very short and funny. They dont have to mean anything but they can. Other than the word count
constraint there isnt really anything else in terms of constraint. People are free to put whatever they want;
an option is also to keep it blank. Compared to the other social medias, Instagram is definitely allowing
more freedom in terms of content. Some people can share something personal in their caption, an opinion,
or even just plain emojis. The purpose of Instagram captions is to back up the picture or just add a little
something extra. Its not the main purpose of Instagram so it is not looked at particularly. Also with
Instagram captions one can change them without anyone seeing. Compared to other social media,
Facebook one can edit but others can see the edit. With twitter, one would have to delete and redo the
tweet. This shows the level of casualty each social media has. The style and tone of an Instagram caption
is more casual than any other type of social media. One usually takes less than 3 seconds to browse
through the captions, sometimes not even reading them. The captions diction is usually personal since
the picture most likely has to do about the users life. But overall, all of these social medias are casual and
personal.

Comment [16]: Li, Im wondering if your paper would

benefit from re-structuring the organization. Instead of
-Source #1 (FB)
-Source #2 (Twitter)
-Source #3 (IG)
Could your paper/argument unfold a more
integrated/interwoven way if you did something like:
-Idea #1 (and then incorporate sources 1, 2, 3)
-Idea #2 (and then incorporate sources 1, 2, 3)
-Idea #3 (and then incorporate sources 1, 2, 3)?

The importance of genres is often overlooked. I am guilty of this as well; I did not truly
understand the significance of genres until actually looking into the specifics of each genre to realize how
often we use the conventions of genres without even knowing it. A genre allows us to see how specific
choices that writers make result in specific actions on the part of readers (Dirk 254) Genres give us
examples and a format to follow. Without genres it would be hard to tell each type of writing from each
other. Genres help the reader understand what makes each genre itself. People should learn about each
genre because it allows them to understand each type of writing better and what makes up the genre. It
also shows them the convention they should include when writing their own pieces. The importance of
genres is to set an example for others to follow and create conventions that make each type of writing
easier to read and understand. Genres are important for everyone to understand because it applies to
everything.
Genres play a big part of how one writes the way one does. When one looks up examples to
follow on a type of writing, that is using genres to understand the writing. There are many types of genre
and I chose to focus on the genres of social media. I looked into Facebook statuses, twitters tweets, and
Instagram captions. Although they all serve for different purposes in terms of detail, they are all personal
in some sense as well as casual. The word count constraint is different for each of the three social medias
and that plays a huge role in how much the writer chooses to include. The conventions of the social media
genre are casual, personal, and not too detailed or specific. Its main purpose is to entertain and share
about ones life with another, not meant to be professional. People use genre in understanding social
media often, most of the time without even knowing. People look up other peoples wording before doing
their own to make sure what they are writing is acceptable and follows social norm. Genre plays a huge
part in social media especially since everyones choice of wording is similar in each type of social media.

Comment [17]: I think you can get all of these

points/information across in 1/2 or 1/3 of the space.
Get right to it. No fluff, Miss Li.
(PS, I don't know if you're aware of this, but you can
raise questions in your writing. You don't have any
questions in this.)

Work Cited
Carroll, Laura Bolin. Backpacks VS. Briefcases: Steps toward Rhetorical Analysis.
Dirk, Kerry. Writing Spaces: Readings on Writing Volume 1: Navigating Genres. 2010.
Elbow, Peter. Embracing Contraries: Explorations in Learning and Teaching. New York: Oxford U Press.
1986.

Writing 2 Feedback Matrix for WP1

Table of Textual Features
Did Not Meet
Expectations
Thesis Statement

Use of Textual Evidence

from Genres

Use of Course Readings

Met Expectations

Analysis

X
(because you didnt
reference actual
texts)

Organization/Structure

Attention to
Genre/Conventions and
Rhetorical Factors

X/X-

Sentence-level Clarity,
Mechanics, Flow

Exceeded
Expectations

Li,
Other Comments
I think this paper has a lot of potential here, and Im expecting great
work from you in the portfolio. Your #1 task is to find actual
examples/texts to base an argument on. To successfully write an
argument about textual genres, you need to be looking at real FB
statuses, real Tweets, and real IG captions -- and THEN you need to
find ones about the same topic. After you do that, you can begin to
work on finding an interesting argument to make about them.
It looks like youve got a pretty solid hold on many of our WP1
concepts -- you even mentioned tone, constraints, and 1st-order
thinking, which I th
ought were all great -- but this absolutely, positively has to be tied to
actual texts.
Z
6.5/10