POSITIVE COPING SKILLS

Six different categories of skills

That can be applied to your everyday life

By: Natalie Austin

Table of Contents
Introduction .2

Distraction 3
Emotional Release 4
Grounding 5
Self-love .6
Thought Challenge 7
Altruism .8

Introduction: Coping Skills in Times of Stress

What Is Stress?

Stress is simply your bodys response to change. Since your environment is constantly changing, you
are constantly under some level of stress. Your nervous system is equipped to handle a
certain normal level of stress. This normal level of stress, or the amount of stress that a given
person can experience without experiencing the physical symptoms of stress, varies from person to
person.
When you have surpassed the normal level of stress that your body is equipped to handle, you will
begin to experience the physical and emotional effects of stress, and your behavior will change as well.

What Are Stressors?

A stressor is defined as any physical, psychological, or social force that puts real or perceived demands
on the body, emotions, mind, or spirit of an individual. Simply put, a stressor is something that causes
stress.

What Are Coping Skills (Strategies)?

We all develop defense mechanisms to avoid or lessen psychological pain. Coping skills are ways in
which we learn to deal with various stressors. Each person copes with stress differently. Over time, we
all construct coping strategies that are right for us as thinking and feeling individuals. Right is in
quotes because many people often do not realize that how they deal with life stressors is not only
unhelpful, but also destructive, negative, and painful for not only themselves but those around them.

Coping strategies can be both constructive and adaptive or, destructive and maladaptive. Maladaptive
coping skills are ways of dealing with stress that usually make things worse. These types of coping
strategies can hurt your social relationships, make pre-existing problems worse, and even result in
new symptoms of a stress-related injury. Many of us have known someone who has overreacted to

something which resulted in them losing touch with a friend or loved one. Maladaptive coping
strategies put pressure on your relationships with friends, family, and coworkers. They can damage
your body or create more emotional pain in the long term, even when they seem helpful in the short
term. In extreme cases, maladaptive coping skills can ruin lives. Through the information on six
different coping skills categories in this booklet, and psychological activism, we can lessen the impact
of negativity in our lives, including that which we inflict on ourselves through learned maladaptive
coping skills. All of the skills mentioned in this book should be used together to yield the best results.

Distraction as a coping mechanism is just that distracting yourself from what is going on, pushing
it aside and not thinking about it for a while. This can be helpful when we are feeling overwhelmed
and need to take a mental break. Some examples of this are, talking with others, listen to the radio or
music, read, watch TV, a movie, play video games, go on the computer, play a board game, cleaning,
gardening, cooking etc. This is the coping mechanism that is the easiest to do, and the one we are all
the most familiar with. Here are the pros and cons to using this strategy

Pros
Great for short term relief
Gives you an easy break
Comforts can help you get through a crisis
Cons
Does not resolve underlying issues
Get too comfortable
Become caught up in the distraction

Emotional release is great for when you have been bottling all of your emotions and you need to let
them out. There are many ways you can do this such as scream into a pillow or out loud when you are
alone, go for a run, go to the gym, let yourself cry sob your heart out if you need too, put on some
music and dance, take up boxing or punch something soft like a pillow or teddy bear, pop balloons
and do something that will make you laugh. Can you think of any more positive ones?

Pros
Releases the pressure of overwhelming emotions
Good starting point for dealing with emotions
Great for feelings of anger
Cons
Hard to do in every situation
Might have to wait until you get home or are somewhere safe
Letting go of your emotions can feel scary at first

Grounding means slowing down and allowing yourself to re-connect with your body, your mind, and
your environment. It also means learning to be in the present moment and using all of your senses.
How do we do this? Take the time to smell fragrances, eat your food slowly and taste every bite, notice
all the colors around you, touch things in your immediate surroundings to really connect with them
how does the grass feel on your bare feet? Ever noticed how soft your favorite sweater is against your
skin? A great way of slowing down is to do yoga, as well as practice deep breathing, mindfulness and
meditation. Some helpful apps that are centered around grounding techniques are Mindshift,
Pacifica, Calm, Headspace, and Relax Lite: Stress.

Pros
Process of becoming self-aware
Helps with feelings of disassociation (numb, floaty, disconnected)
Brings new awareness to what you have in your life that you did not see before
Reduces anxiety
Cons

Reconnecting with yourself can be a painful (but necessary) process

You will know in your heart if you are ready do not force yourself
It is recommend to walk down this path slowly

Self-Love is of the utmost important when dealing with stress. Looking after yourself increases ones
resiliency which is your capability of handling your emotions in a positive way. Self-love means taking
time out for yourself to relax and unwind, and making sure you are well looked after physically,
emotionally, and spiritually. Examples of this can be taking a bubble bath, getting a massage, cooking
a healthy nutritious meal, doing yoga, grooming - such as getting a haircut, beard trim, manicure,
going on vacation, making time for things you love, going to therapy, meditating, and positive self-talk
telling yourself I can, I am beautiful, I am strong, I will get through this etc.

Pros
Become your own best friend
Great for processing feelings of guilt
Learn to love yourself exactly as you are
Cons
Sometimes this can feel really hard to do

It can feel superficial (but its not)

Thought Challenge is when we chose to be brave enough to tackle that negative self-talk. You know
that negative internal dialogue thats always telling you I am not good enough, I will never make
it etc. How do we do this? Take a journal and write down every negative thought that pops into your
mind. Next write down all the reasons why those thoughts might not be true, and replace them
something positive, such as turning I will never make it, into I can!. Challenge yourself and take
those negative thoughts head on. Watch your negative internal dialogue melt away once you realize
those thoughts have no basis in reality. Challenging these thoughts can also help you with feeling like
you deserve self-love. Keeping a daily diary/journal can also be a good way to developing selfawareness and keeping track of whats going on in our head.

Pros
Can help to shift long term negative thinking habits
Trying to be more logical can help with overwhelming emotions
Keep track of thoughts and daily life
Cons
The more emotions you feel the harder this is to do.

In particular, feelings of shame can make this very hard.

Altruism can be a way of accessing your higher self which in turn can do wonders for your selfesteem, sense of identity. Simply put it feels good to help others. Bringing a smile to someones face
can make you feel like you matter and help to ease your own suffering. Simple ways you can do this
are join a cause, volunteer, smile at others (and see how many smiles you get back!), hold the door
open for people, give them a hand carrying their groceries, be helpful, thoughtful and kind anyway
you can. As the old saying goes, you reap what you sow.

Pros
Reminds us that everyone has purpose,
and value can be found in the small things not just the big.
Cons
Dont get stuck helping everyone else and forget about you!,
remember life is all about balance.

References
CMHA, (2016). Canadian Mental Health Association: Stress. Retrieved from:
http://www.cmha.ca/mental_health/stress/#.V1sewvkrLIU
CSHS, (2015). Centre for studies on human stress: Stressors. Retrieved from:
http://www.humanstress.ca/stress/what-is-stress/stressors.html
CSHS, (2015). Trick your stress coping strategies. Retrieved from:
http://www.humanstress.ca/stress/trick-your-stress/steps-to-instant-stressmanagement.html
Examined Existence, (2016). Stress 101: Every little thing you ever wanted to know about stress.
Retrieved from: http://examinedexistence.com/stress-101-every-little-thing-you-ever-wantedto-know-about-stress-2/
MHWW, (2009). Mental health wellness week: Strategies for good mental health wellness.
Retrieved from: http://www.mhww.org/strategies.html
Reach Out, (2016). Building better coping skills: Retrieved from:

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http://au.reachout.com/building-better-coping-skills
Segal. J, (2016). Stress symptoms, signs and causes. Retrieved from:
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-symptoms-causes-and-effects.html
UCLA, (2016). Dual Diagnosis Program: How do you cope? Retrieved from:
https://www.semel.ucla.edu/dual-diagnosis
program/News_and_Resources/How_Do_You_Cope