November 12, 2007 Issue

Brooklyn Circle
Searching for the remains of an elevated railway
BY ALICE MATTISON

Fourteenyearsafterherdivorce,ConstanceTepperagreedtolether
formerhusband,JerryElias,spendafewdaysinherProspectHeights
apartment(thoughnotinherbed).TheydlivedinPhiladelphiawhen
theyweremarried,andJerrystilllivedthere.Nowandthen,hecameto
NewYorkonbusiness.Jerrywasatall,thinmanwhohadgrownupin
hisgrandfatherslampstore,learningnottobreakthelampsbystanding
upinslowstages.HisfatherwasJewish,hismotheralightskinned
blackwomanfromtheneighborhoodwhoworkedinthestoreand
marriedthebosssson.Jerrylookedethnicallyambiguous.
Hedinheritedthestoreandworkedthereallhislife,buteventuallythe
lastindependentstoreonitsdowntownPhiladelphiablockitfailed.
Nowhewasaconsultanttoothersmallfamilybusinesses.Helikedto
tellclientsthathedkepthisstoregoingwellbeyonditsnaturallifespan
byputtingallthelampsonaseriesofextensioncordsandpluggingthe
lastoneintoanoutletatCityHall.Conwasntsurewhatthatwasa
metaphorfor.
Thistime,itturnedout,JerrywasnotcomingtoNewYorkonbusiness.
Hestudiedhistoricaltopicsthatmadehimcurious,travellingseveral
timesayeartoplaceswheresomethinghadhappened,ormighthave
happened.Hedidnothingwiththecopiousnoteshetook:hewasnt
writingabookorevenablog.WhenConandJerryweremarried,friends
hadaskedhowsheknewthathedidnttakethesetripstobewith

women,andsherepliedthatshefiguredhedidntbecausethatidea
infuriatedherless.Hispointlessjoyintheseexplorationsseemedlike
solipsism.ThetripsdeniedConsexistence,theirchildsexistence.
(Theyhadadaughter,Joanna,nowthirty.)Conhadneverbeensurethat
anythingJerrylearnedonhisexpeditionswastrue.Sowhenhesaidthat
hewantedtostaywithherwhileinvestigatingsomebodynamedMarcus
Ogilvy,whowassupposedlysignificantinthehistoryofBrooklyn,she
waspointedlymayberudelyuninterested.Sheknewshewas
irrationalonthistopic.Alawyer,shewasgenerallyrational.
Jerryturnedup,whenhegottoNewYork,notinConsapartmentbutat
heroffice,nearUnionSquare,at6:30P.M.ItwasaThursdayin
November,2003,sixmonthsintotheIraqwar.Sittingathercomputer,
Consensedaladenbodyandturned.Jerryhaddroppedashapelessnylon
bagonthefloorandwasstretchinghislongarmsupandout.Whenshe
stood,hewrappedhisarmsaroundher.IwalkedfromPennStation,he
said.
Sheextricatedherself,thenkepthimwaitinguntilshecametoastopping
place.
Letsgooutfordinner,Jerrysaid.Hestretchedhisarmswideagain,
andstretchedeachfingeraswell.Maybehewasgettingthekinksout,
butthegestureseemedtosaythatheapprovedofConsdingyoffice.
Sheworkedforanonprofitthatfocussedonwomensemployment
issues.
Joannasatmyapartment,shesaid.
Oh,isthatwheresheis?

Thatswheresheis.Hepickeduphisbag.Theydtakeacabto
BrooklynandgoouttodinnerwithJoanna.Heswungthebagasiftotest
itsweight,asifitmightormightnotbeheavyenoughtoknockCon
over,tochangehermindaboutacoupleofthings.Hewouldnotliterally
hither,ofcourseJerrywasphysicallybenigninallcircumstances.
MuchaboutJoannaconfusedhermother,andlatelytheconfusionhad
intensified.IthadbeenhardtokeeptracknotjustofJoannasemotional
geographybutofwhere,inthesimplestterms,shewas.Asculptorwho
livedwithaboyfriendintheSouth,Joannahadgotathreemonth
internshipinNewYork,andhadbeenstayingwithCon.Sheworkedin
fibre,spendinghereveningsknittinggrotesque,compellingshapesoutof
greenishtwine,andnowtheapartmenthousedsixoreightgiganticdry
seacreatures.
TheTribecasculptorwithwhomshewasinterning,BarnabyWillis,
workedinsteel.IcouldworklikeBarnaby,maybe,Joannasaidone
evening.Ioncedidapieceinaluminum.Aluminumsucks.Butsteel
youcanbendsteel,twistit.Steelhasductility.Conwasdoubtful.
Joannahadadrinkingproblemoraformerdrinkingproblemand
worryingaboutherwasahabit.
ThenBarnabylefttownforawhile,andJoannareturnedtotheSouth,
leavingbehindhergreentwineandherseacreatures,whichConhad
cometolike.Livingwiththecreatureswassimplerthanlivingwith
Joanna,andConhadhadmixedfeelingsduringthelastfewdays,when
Joannachangedhermindfromonemomenttothenextaboutwhether
shewouldreturntoNewYork.

First,shedphonedtosaythatBarnabywantedhertocomeback,and
shedidntwantto.Inevertoldyou,shesaid.Herapedme.Shehung
up,thencalledbackfiveminuteslatertosaythathehadnotrapedher.
Isheharassingyou?Reporthim,Consaid.Shehaddealtwiththissort
ofthingprofessionally.Joannalaughed.
Thenextcallwasaboutafightwithherboyfriend,whohadaccusedher
ofsleepingwiththefamoussculptor.Inthecallafterthat,Joannawas
breakingupwiththeboyfriend.Thenextonehadcomeinthemiddleof
thenight,twodayslater,fromjail.Iwasstupid,Joannasaid,butalso
Iwasabsolutelyright.IwenttoabarbecauseIwassoupset.TheTV
hadsomethingaboutIraq,andIsaidsomething.Thisguynexttome
startedarguingTherewasapause.Theyretellingmetohurry.
Nobodyinthisstatebelievesinfreedomofspeech.Igotintoan
argumentaboutIraqandIwasarrested.
WhatshouldIdo?Consaid.Shehadbeenawakenedbythecall.
NowJoannawascrying.Mom,getmeout.Justgetmeout.
BythetimeConarrangedforbail,Joannahadbeenreleased,andbythe
endofthedaythechargeshadbeendropped.Still,shedspentanightin
jail,apparentlyonlyforspeakinghermind.JoannahadreturnedtoNew
YorkthenightbeforeJerryarrived,irateatboththejailandher
boyfriend,anddeterminedtogetherlawyermothertosuesomeone.
YetConfeltpowerless.ShewonderedifJoannahadbeendrunk.She
thoughtthearrestmighthavebeenlegal.Itwouldbehardtoprovethat
whattheydidwasillegal,shesaidtoJoanna.Ifthebartenderasked

youtoleave,andthecopsaskedyoutoleave,andyoudidnt,thearrest
waslegal.
Thecopsdidntaskmetoleavetheyjusttoldmetoshutup.
Theydid?Consaid.Weretherewitnesses?
Nobodywasonmyside.Butwehavetodosomething.
ThenConhadreceivedanemailfromJerry.Whatshouldwedo?
Couldthisberacial?JoannawasonlyhalfasAfricanAmericanasher
father,butherskinwasasdarkashis,witharosytinge,andshe
sometimessaid,Idhavebeenaslave.Atothertimes,sheremembered
thatshewasmostlyJewish(ConwasJewish)andsaid,Hitlerwould
havekilledme.PeopleneverquiteknewwhatJoannawas,andnobody
couldtaketheireyesoffher:shewastall,andhadamagnificenthead
withuntrimmedmassesoflightbrowncurls.Maybeithadbeenracial.
Constilldidntwanttoact.ShedidntwanttophonetheA.C.L.U.orthe
N.A.A.C.P.;shedidntwanttodiscussJoannascasewithcolleaguesor
lawschoolclassmates.Shedidntwanttodoanything.
Itdoesntmakesense,ConsaidtoJerry,inthecab.Goingtocourt
overayoungartistwhogotdrunkinabar.
Itdoesntsoundtomeasifshewasdrunk.
Evenso.

JerrychangedthesubjecttoConsreliefandtalkedabouthiscurrent
historicaltreasurehunt.ItsahugeBrooklynsecretthateverybody
couldknowaboutbutnobodydoes!hesaid.Exceptme.He
squeezedhershoulder,asifshe,too,wereinonthesecret.
Whatwasthatname?Marcus?
MarcusOgilvy.Earlytwentiethcenturytransportationgenius.Crazy
genius.Illtellyou.Instead,hegrewsilent,thensaid,Shewasarrested
forspeakinghermind.Andmaybeforlookingethnic.Condidntreply.
Intheapartment,Joannacameamblingoutofherroom,talkingonher
cellphone.Sheraisedafingertoshowshedbeoffinaminute,then
gaveanironicwaveatherfather.Conwasstruck,asifnewly,byher
daughterssturdy,glowinglooks.JoannahungupandConcrossedthe
room,reachingtotakeherdaughtersbigheadinherhands.Butin
anothermomenttheywerearguing.Joannaquicklydeterminedthather
fatheralsobelievedthattheyshouldpursuehercase,andherrageatthe
policeandthepeopleinthebarroseuntilshewasscreamingather
mother.Theycarriedmeofftojail.Theylockedmeup.Whatdoesit
taketomakeyoucare?
Didtheytreatyoubadly?Jerryasked.
No,Joannasaid,quieting.Iwillstipulatethattheywerepolite.Iwas
givenweakcoffee.IwascalledMiss.
Butitwasterrible,Consaid.IjustdontShehadeventuallye
mailedseveralpeopleaboutJoannasexperience,butshedequivocated,

saying,GivenGuantnamoBay,thisistrivial,but...Maybeshed
dissuadedwhiletryingtopersuade.
Letsgetsomethingtoeat,Jerrysaid.
Theywalkedtogetheralmostafamily.Itwascold.Joanna,inherthick
parka,waswarmerandbiggerandwalkedfasterthanherparents,and
Con,theshortest,inajacketthatwasntwarmenough,feltlikeasmall
scurryinganimal,anurbankind,withmattedfur.Jerrywasnevercold,
andhestrodealonglikeaNewYorker,hisopenraincoatpuffingbehind
him.HealwayswantedChinesefoodifpossible.
Barnabyagreeswithme,Joannasaid,oncetheywereseatedinthe
restaurant.
Barnabyseemedtobebackinfavor.Conwantedwinebutdidntordera
glasslestJoannafeelencouragedtodothesame.ThenJoannaordereda
glassofwine,soCondid,too.Jerryshookhishead.Herarelydrank;
maybehesoenjoyedbeingexactlyashewasthathedidntwanteven
themildalterationinmoodbroughtonbyaglassofChardonnay.What
doesheagreewithyouabout?hesaid.
Didyougotohisstudiotoday?Consaid.
Italkedtohim.Hewashorrified.Imean,weallknowtheresintense
prowarfeelinginthiscountry,butwhowouldhavethoughtIdspend
thenightinjail?ThatswhatBarnabysaid.
Whatdoesanapprenticedo?Jerryasked.

Imnotanapprentice.IwishIwere.ThenhedhavetoteachmeuntilI
kneweverythingheknows.Itsathreemonthinternship.
Soyoupreparematerial?Jerrypersisted.
Joannasighed.Ihaulthingsaround.Sometimesheshowsmehowtodo
things,holdsmyhandwhenIuseatool.SometimesIgobuyhima
sausageandpeppersandwich.ThenIpickupthepepperstripsthatfall
onthefloor.
TheyorderedSichuanshrimpandscallops.Joannacontinuedtalking
aboutBarnaby,andJerryaskedherwhatsheddowhentheinternship
ended.
Thefoodwasbrought.Imnotgoingback.Joannareachedforthe
shrimpdish.MaybeIllliveinBarnabysstudio.Shewaveddownthe
waiterandaskedforanotherglassofwine.
Waitaminute,Consaid.Foronething,isnthemarried?
Thispartoftheconversationwasover,saidJoannaschopstick,
describingaboundaryintheair.
Jerrywasundeterred.So,isheleavinghiswifeforyou?hesaid.
Thatsnotanappropriatequestion,Joannasaid.
Conreflectedthatshehadneverlearnedhowtobeanybodysmother,
certainlynotthemotherofanadultdaughter.Shesaidnothing.Jerry
begantellingstoriesaboutthebuildingoftheNewYorkCitysubway.

Hisskinlookedyoung,andhiseyeshadthesamegenialalertnessthat
hadattractedherthefirsttimeshemethim,thesamedelightinthegreat
adventureofbeingJerryEliasthathadcharmedandinfuriatedherwhen
theyweremarried.
Fed,theywerewarmeronthewalkhome,andJoannawaskinder.After
ablockortwo,shedroppedbehindandsoonConandJerryheardtherise
andfallofhervoiceintimateandexasperatedonhercellphone.
Howdoessheaffordthatthing?Consaid.
Ihelp,Jerrysaid.Imdoingallright.
Theirdaughtercaughtup.CouldIhavetheleftovers?
Yourestillhungry?Jerrysaid.
NoBarnabyhasnteaten.Shetookthebagfromherfatherand
waveddownataxiafewminuteslater.Illstayover,shesaid,and
raisedafriendlyhandtoherparents.
Atleastshesnotinjail,Consaidafterasilence,astheywalked.
Andtheydroppedthecharges,Jerrysaid.Still...Thestreetshada
latefeel,withafewdogsoutfortheirbedtimewalks.Whodoyouthink
weshouldtalkto?
Iwishshehadntbeendrunk,Consaidagain.
Con,Idontthinkshewasdrunk.

Shewasinabar.Shewasdrinking.Shehasahistoryofdrinking.Ifshe
wasntdrunk,shemightaswellhavebeendrunk.
Arentyoupleasedthatshesturnedtoyou?Jerrysaid.Andyourea
lawyer.Itsadamngoodcase.Maybewakeupafewpeoplewhocant
seemtorealizehowdifferentthingsarethesedays.
Arethingsthatdifferent?Consaid.
SinceBushcamein?
Therehavealwaysbeenbadguys.
Theyweresilentforthelasthalfblock,theirfootstepssoundingonthe
sidewalk.ThenJerrysaid,Itsdifferent.Blackshaveanearlywarning
system.
AndyouthinkJewsdont?Consaid.Whentheyrememberedthatthey
wereablackandaJew(sometimestheyrememberedthattheyweretwo
Jews),theydeitherquarrelamiablyorbecomequiettogether;oneway
oranother,theyweregettingalong.
InConsapartment,theysatinherlittlelivingroomandwatchedthe
news.ThePentagonhadannouncedthatacovertforcewashunting
SaddamHussein.DoyoumindifIturnthisoff?Consaid.Shewent
forsheetstoputonthesofa.Thenshesaidgoodnight,stoppedinher
studytocheckheremail,andwentintothebathroom.
JerrywasstandinginthehallwaywhenCon,stilldressed,cameout,and
assheturnedtowardherbedroomhesteppedcloser.Theylookedateach

otherforalongtime,andthenheputhisarmsaroundher.Hesmelled
likeheryouth.Whenshesteppedback,hetookherhand.Condoyou
think...
Ithadbeensolongthathewassomeonenewbutnotnew.Sheknew
thewaysinwhichhewasajerk,butrightthenshedidntcare.She
leanedintohisembrace,andtheywentintoherbedroom.Shehadnt
sleptwithanyoneinalongtime,andshewaspostmenopausal;she
rummagedinadrawerforlubricant.
SexwithJerrywasathletic,funny,companionable.Shesometimesforgot
thatsexwithanotherpersonwasmoresatisfyingthanmasturbation,
whichprovidedConwithfrequent,sharplypleasurableinterludesbutdid
notliftherspirits.Sexwithsomeoneelsemadehercharitable.Jerrys
egotismwasnotannoyingaftersexitwassweet,likeachilds.He
stayedinsideherforalongtime.Thenhewithdrew,sleepilykissedher
underoneeye,andslept.Hetookuproominherbed,butwasgonewhen
shewokeinthemorning.
ConwasnotsorryshedsleptwithJerry.Whenshecameintotheliving
room,dressed,hewasalsodressed,andhadalaptoponhisknees.
Youcouldcomewithme,hesaid,notlookingup.
Comewithyouwhere?
ItsjustBrooklyn.
Oh.MarcusOgilvy?

Conwastempted.Sherememberedthewildjealousyshehadfeltover
Jerryandhistrips,adesiretosearchwithhiminsomeunlikelyplacefor
theremnantofafactnobodyelsecaredtoknow.Inthefirstyears,shed
beggedtogoalong.
Tellme,shesaid,sittingdown,butshewaswary.
Hetoldmoresubwaystories,finallygettingtothebitofNewYork
historythathadcaughthisattentionthistimeMarcusOgilvysmad
schemeofthenineteentwenties,theBrooklynCircle.Itwasnever
finished,Jerrysaid,butpartswerebuilt.Thebookssaytheresnothing
left,butmyguessistherearefragments.YouBrooklynitesaresousedto
incomprehensiblestructures,youwalkpastthesethingseveryday,and
nobodynotices.
MarcusOgilvysmotherhadbeenaGermanJew,andonhisfathersside
heevenhadoneblackgrandparent.HestudiedarchitectureinEurope,
lateinthenineteenthcentury,thenreturnedtohisnativeNewYorkand
madeasmallfortunedevelopingnewneighborhoodsinBrooklynand
Queens.Hedbeeninhisthirtieswhenmostofthesubwaywasbuilt,in
thefirstdecadeofthetwentiethcentury,buthewasneverenthusiastic
aboutundergroundtransportation.Beforethesubway,elevatedtrainshad
crossedpartsofthecity.Theywerenoisyanddirty,souptodate
thinkingatthestartofthenewcenturywasallinfavorofthesubway.
OgilvylovedEltrains,Jerrysaid,gesturingsoexpansivelythatCon
feltasifshehadbeenreducedtosomeoneatthebackofalecturehall.
HewentontoexplainhowMarcusOgilvyhadbuiltamansionon
ArlingtonAvenueinEastNewYorkfromwhichhecouldhearthe
reliablerumbleoftheJamaicalineashefellasleep,andhedenjoyed

standingontheplatformoftheClevelandStreetStation,gazingatthe
cityaroundhim,insteadofdescendingintoatunnelthathealways
fearedwouldcollapse,orwouldharborratsandsnakes.
Ogilvywasespeciallytroubledbyonecharacteristicofthesubway
systemasitextendedtoBrooklyn.ThelinesstretchedfromManhattan
likethetentaclesofanoctopus,butnothingconnectedthemexceptina
veryfewplaces.TotravelbetweensomelocationsinBrooklyn,itwas
necessaryitisstillnecessary,Jerrypointedouttotravelinto
Manhattanandback.Ogilvyhadproposedtochangethatwithan
elevatedlinethatwouldnotbeugly.Jerryopenedamap.Across
Brooklyn,heddrawnacurvedlineinpencil.OgilvysBrooklynCircle
wastohavebeenanelevatedarclinkingtheParksideAvenueStationof
whatisnowtheQtraintotheWinthropStreetStationonwhatarenow
calledthe2andthe5,thentotheCrownHeightsUticaAvenueStation
onthe3andthe4,andfinallytothestationnowcalledBroadway
Junction,wheretheJ,theAandtheC,andtheLtrainsmeet.
Ogilvysfavoritewordwaselegance,and,inhisdesignsandarticles,
hehadactuallyreferredtosomefeaturesoftheEuropeanGothic
cathedralshedadmiredasayoungman,likepointedarchesinthe
supportingpillars,toletmorelightintothestreet,andgroinedvaults
underneaththetracks.Hedwantedpeopleseyestobedrawnupward,
theirmoodslightened.Atthattime,thesubwayswereprivatelyowned
thecitydidntownthemuntil1940.Ogilvyhadsecuredthenecessary
permissions,foundbackers,andbegunbuildingsupportsandtracks.
Bitsofthelinearestillthere,Jerrysaid.Imsureofit.
Whathappenedtoit?

Oh,whatdoyouthink?Nineteentwentyninehappened.Helost
everything.
Shedidntknowwhy,butshewantedtogowithhim.Shecalledinsick.
Theweatherhadturnedevencolder.Conputonherwintercoatforthe
firsttimethatseason.Itsmelledpleasantlyofdrycleaning.Jerrystill
worehisraincoat.Astheylefttheapartment,theybumpedintoeach
other,andConrecalledthatdoorwaysnarrowwhennewloverstrytogo
throughthemtogether.Notthattheywerenewlovers.Theytookthe
subwaytoParksideAvenue.Astheywentdownthestepsintothe
station,Jerrysaid,FunnythingforawhileIhadagirlfriendaround
here.
Conpretendedmorenonchalancethanshefelt.Aroundhere?
Acoupleofblocksfromhere.Sheusedthesamestation.
MaybeIknowher.
No,hesaid.Youdontknowher.
JustbeforeParksideAvenue,thetrainemergedintomodifiedsunlight,
runninginaditchthatwasopentothesky.Theygotoff,andsteppedout
tothestreet.CondidntknowhowmanywomenhadbeeninJerryslife
sincethedivorce.Shewasintouchwithhimoftenenoughthatnamesor
incidentsmighthavecomeup,butapparentlyheconcealednamesand
incidents.Itoccurredtoherthatshemighthaverunintohiminalocal
restaurantwithanotherwomanwhichwouldnot,shetoldherself,have
mattered.Soyourenotseeingthiswomananymore?shesaid.

Who?
Myneighbor.
Well,shesnotyourneighbor.Hepaused,lookingtowardProspect
ParkandthenParksideAvenue.No,Imnot.Wegothisway.
Solid,squareapartmenthouseslookedwellcaredfor.Fartheralongwere
smallerbuildings.Therewasnosignofafailedelevatedtrainline,and
Jerrysaidthatmostofthisconstructionwasmorerecentthanthe
BrooklynCircle;developerswouldhaveobliteratedeverything.His
exuberancewasslightlytiresome.Theywouldfindnothing.Conwas
sorryshehadntgonetowork.
TheyturnedontoNostrandAvenueatP.S.92amassive,plainstructure
thatseemedtotoleratenononsense;anyscrapsoflosttrainlineswould
havebeensweptawayandbeganzigzagging,oneblocknorth,one
blockeast,peeringthroughgapsbetweenbuildings.
Asalawyer,Jerrysaidabruptly,youshouldbelesstimid.
TheremarkturnedConsirritationintoanger,partlybecauseshed
alwaysfeltthatwastrue.What,youresomesortofauthority?she
said.Isthereanythingyouarequitecertainyoudontknow?
Oh,sure,Jerrysaidmildly.Theangriershebecame,theblanderand
morereasonablehewouldbe.
Then,inanalley,shespottedanuprightsteelobjectwithacrosspiece.
Shewaitedtoseewhetherhedsayanything,buthedidnt.Halfablock

later,though,Jerrysuddenlygrewextremelyquiet:hislonglimbsslowed
anditwasasifhewerecompletelyalone.Heputanarmonhershoulder.
Hepointedtothreepillarswithfretworkandarchesintactbetweenthem,
inthemiddleofablockoffWinthropStreet,inaparkinglot.Ofcourse
hewasright:sheknewinaninstantthatwhatshewasseeingwaslike
nothingshedeverseenbefore.Thepillarsdidnotresemblefragmentsof
otherelevatedtrainstructures.Theyweregraymetal,andthepointed
archesbetweenthemweresharplycut.Theylookedlight.
Shetriedtodelightinhimthewayshewouldinachildwhodproduced
suchadiscovery.Fromhispocket,Jerrybroughtoutastackofthreeby
fiveindexcards.Hescribbledwithaballpointpen,leaningononeknee.
Theycontinuedwalking,nowpassingattachedhouseswithaluminum
siding.OnNewYorkAvenue,somethingstoodbetweentwobuildings,
butJerrycouldntbesure.Then,nearWingatePark,wasasetofpillars
withsomethingbetweenthem.Jerryhadasmallcamera,andhetook
somephotographs.Conwascold.
Everyonetheysawwasblack.Nowthehousesweresmaller,andthere
wasroombehindthemfordilapidatedbitsofanoldelevatedrailway.
Twice,theyspottedsinglepillars,thenanothersetofthree.Concould
recognizethemeasily,withtheirdistinctivepointedarches.NearUtica
Avenue,theyfoundacompletesetoftrackworkonsixoreightpillars.
Alight,sturdystructure,itwasjustvisiblebehindsomehouses.Jerry
stoppedamaninthestreet.Canyoutellmewhatthatis?
Themanlooked.PartoftheLongIslandRailRoadtheynolongeruse,
hesaidauthoritatively.

Oh,thanks,Jerrysaid.
Youlikefeelingsuperior,Consaid,astheycontinuedwalking.
No!Jerrysoundedhurt,andsheputherhandonhisarm.
Justteasing,shesaid.
InaKoreangrocery,theyboughtapplesandpretzelsandbottlesof
water.Conhadhopedforlunch.TheycrossedEasternParkway.Nowthe
neighborhoodsbecameshabbier,andConandJerryseemedmore
conspicuous.Areyouateacher?alittlegirlaskedCon.NearPacific
Streetwasanothersetoftracks.Itwaswedgedbetweensmallapartment
buildings,asifremovingithadbeentoomuchtrouble,ormaybeiteven
helpedsupportthebuildings.Thetrackscrossedanarrowvacantlot
strewnwithgarbageandglass.Jerrywalkedconfidentlyintothelot
betweenthebuildingstogetabetterlookatthetracks,justtwentyfeet
fromthestreet,butConremainedonthesidewalk.Idgivenupon
findingsomethinglikethis,hecalled.Doublepillars,here,werelinked
bysmallplatforms.
Conwastiredandcold,andthepretzelsandappleshadnotsatisfiedher.
Shestayedwhereshewas,andatlastJerryreturned.Theybegantowalk
slowlypastthestructure.YourenotasinterestedasIthoughtyoud
be,hesaid.
Shedidnttrytobefair.Youdontquiteknowanybodyelseisreal.
Hestoppedwherehewasandlookedather.Hisbuoyancywasgone,and
suddenlyhelookedolder,somehowbothmoreJewishandmoreAfrican

American.Hisfacewaslesshandsome,butmaybebetter,andConwas
sorryshedspoken.Whatdoyoumean?hesaid.
Ishouldnthavesaidthat.Theydstopped,andshewascoldalready,
butitseemednecessarytowaitwheretheywere,atastreetcornerafew
yardsbeyondthestructure.Itsbeautiful,shesaidquietly.Ishould
havesaiditsbeautiful.
Butyoudontreallycare?
Youwantmetocare.
Iwanteverythingaboutyou,Connie,Jerrysaid.Yes,Iwantyouto
care!Nowhesoundedangry.IwantyoutocareaboutMarcusOgilvy.
IwantyoutocareaboutJoannabeingarrestedforsayingwhatshe
thinks!
OfcourseIcare,Consaidwithsomeirritation.Theywerearguinglike
marriedpeople.Idoseethatwhatyouvefoundiswonderful,she
continued.Withouthernoticing,theyhadturnedaround,andnowthey
werewalkingbacktotheshort,gracefulsectionofMarcusOgilvys
tracks.Sunlightcomingthroughthefretworkmadepatternsonthe
ground.
Wecouldclimbthat,Jerrysaid.
Areyoucrazy?Butshewasntangryanymore.
Whynot?

Consblackwoolcoatwassoclean.Anditcamedowntoherknees.If
shedexpectedtodoanyclimbing,shedhavedresseddifferently.Its
illegal,shesaid.
Idontseeanysigns.
Ofcourseitsillegal.
Hebeganslappinghisthighlightly,rhythmically,likesomeonegetting
readytomovevigorously.Theystoodunderthetracks,andsunlight
touchedtheirfacesandclothes.Jerrygazedup.Hepulledouthisnote
cardsandscribbled,thenmovedtoanotherpartofthelotandscribbled
somemore.Hephotographedthetracksfromeverypoint.Hispleasure
waspalpable.Intruth,thepillarsdidntlookhardtoclimb,withcutouts
inthegraymetaljustrightforahandorafoot.Still,shewasrelieved
thatheseemedtohaveforgottentheidea.
Butthenhesaid,O.K.,letsgoup.Shewascurious,too.Shecould
havehercoatcleanedagain.Theystartedup.Jerrywentfirst.Noone
seemedtobewatching.Whattheyweredoingdidntfeelunsafe.In
summer,neighborhoodkidswereprobablyalloverthisstructure.
Lookingup,Concouldseecleanerspots,placesintheelaboratefretwork
belowthetrackswherechildrenhadheldonastheyclimbed.She
confidentlygraspedtheuprights.Herpursebouncedonherback.
Atthetop,theyheavedthemselvesoverametalfenceandontoatrack
bed.Thetrackswerestillthere,endingatthebackofwhatlookedlikea
warehouse.Theywerenotdirty.Theywouldnotbehardtowalkon,but
maybeshewouldnttrythat.Oneithersideofthem,facelessapartment

windowsseemedtoignoreeverything.Maybetheresidentswerent
home,ormaybetheydidntlookoutthesewindows.
Jerrygingerlysteppedalongthetracks.Concrouched,holdingthe
barriershedjustclimbedover,watchingherexhusbandandnewlover,
watchinghisgracefullegs.Maybeshewouldkeephimasherlover.
Comeon,Jerrycalled.Hewasleaningonhisknee,writing.
Imfinehere,Consaid.
ThenJerrytookamisstepbetweenthetracks,andyelped,comingdown
hardonanankle.AndtherewasaknockonthewindowbehindCon.
Stillholdingon,sheturned.Amanstoodatthewindow,anelderlyman
inawhiteshirt.Hewaswavinghishandasiftoshooheraway,
frowning.
ShesmiledreassuringlyandturnedbacktoJerry.Areyouallright?
shecalled.
Idontknowyet.Heslowlystoodupandputweightonhisrightfoot.
Notallright.Carefully,heraisedhisfootandshookit.Therewaslittle
dangerofhisfallingbetweenthetrackstothelotbelowtherewere
plentyofcrossbarsandunderpinnings.Buthemighthavegotafoot
caughtinoneofMarcusOgilvysgracefulopeningsandcutouts,the
onesthathadallowedthelighttotouchthemwhentheystoodbelow.
Canyoucomebackhere?shesaid.Shelookedbehindher.Theman
wasstillwatching,aflashofsunonthewindowglasshidinghismouth,
buthisforeheadandeyesvisible.Helookedpuzzled.Shewasntsurehe

couldseeJerry.Shegestured.Shesmiledagain.Themanlooked.His
skinwasthecolorofdarkcherrywood,hisforeheadbigandshiny.
Heknockedagain,andwhensheturnedhefrownedandshooedheronce
more.Sheshrugged,andstartedaswellasshecouldtowardJerry.
Thewindupherewasstrong,andshehadasuddenfearoffalling
throughthespacesbetweenthetracksafterall.Nowthatshewascloser,
shecouldseethatthespaceswerelargerthanshehadbelieved.She
woulddie.ShewoulddietryingtomakeherwaytowardJerry.He
shouldneverhaveventuredoutontothetracks.Heshouldneverhave
wantedtocomeuphere.Itwassooty.Hercoatstillwiththe
conscientioussmellofrecentdrycleaningwasalreadydirty.Itflapped
andcaughtatherlegs.Shemighttriponit.Shetookastep.Nowthere
wasnoplacetoputherhand,sosheleanedovercarefullyandgotdown
onherhandsandknees,buthercoatwasseriouslyintheway,andher
bagaflat,attractive,moderatelyexpensiveleatherbagthumpedat
herside.Sheconsideredlettingitgo,droppingitthroughthespaceinthe
tracksandforgettingit.Werethingsthatbad?Shebackedupandleftthe
bagontheledgeshedbeenclingingto,justbelowthewindowofthe
cherrywoodman.Heseemedtobegone.Sheconsideredtakingoffher
coatbutwasafraidtomovethatdrastically,afraidthatitsbreadthmight
makeasailinthewindandpullherdown.Sheopenedthecoat,gotback
downonherknees,andwithonehandyankedtheskirtofthecoatup
behindher,foldedoveronitself,sothatitwasoutoftheway.Shebegan
crawlingtowardJerry,stoppingtwicetorefoldtheskirtofthecoat.
Jerrywasleaningover,clutchinghisanklewithhisfreehand.Condidnt
knowwhatshecoulddoforhim,butshecontinuedtowardhim.Atlast,
hereachedforwardandtouchedhershoulder.

Becareful.Wellbothfall,shesaid.
Wewontfall.Thereisntroomtofall,Jerrysaid.Kidscomeuphere
allthetime.Iftheyfelldownanddied,youdhavereadaboutitinthe
paper.
Sheignoredhim.Canyouwalk?shesaid.
Sheheardthesoundofawindowopening.Icalledthecops,theman
withthebroadforeheadsaid,leaningout.
Weregoingtobearrested,Consaid.
Atleastthecopswillgetusdownfirst,Jerrysaid.
ButIdontwanttobearrested,Consaid.Itwastooabsurdmother,
father,anddaughterrunningafoulofthelawinthesameweek.Sheddie
ofhumiliation.Shedbedisbarred.Jerrylookedcleanerthanshefelt,
almostdapper,hiswhiteshirtstilllookingcrispthroughhisopen
raincoat.Hesmiledather.ItsgoingtobeO.K.,hesaid.Thenwell
getmarriedagain.
Idontthinkso,Consaid.Shegotdownonherhandsandkneesagain,
andbegancrawlingback.Shelookedaheadinsteadofdown.Thetracks
mightbepoorlyfastened.Thefasteningswouldhaveloosenedoverthe
years,andwouldnthavebeenkeptinrepair.ConandJerryscombined
weightmightsendthewholesection,withthemontop,crashingdown.
Thecopsareontheirwayover,themancalled.

Conreachedthewindowandlookedupattheman,likeanactress
playingadogoracat.Shehadanimpulsetosay,Woof.Then,asthe
manwatched,shemovedherhandsuptheshortwallsatthesideofthe
tracks,soastogetuprightagain.Jerrywascrawlingbehindher.My
husbandiscrazy,sheheardherselfsay.Imsorry.Hesahistorian.
Yourenotallowedtobeoutthere,themansaid.
Shesaid,Ofcoursenot.Itsnotsafe.Hesnuts,andnowheshurt.Can
wecomethroughyourapartmenttogetdown?Hecantgetdownthe
waywecameup.
IdontknowifIcanletyoudothat,themansaid.Idontknow
anythingaboutyou.
IliveonSterlingPlace,Consaid.ShealmostsaidthatJerrylivedin
Philadelphia,butrememberedthatshehadcalledhimherhusband.We
liveonSterlingPlace.ProspectHeights?
Themanconsidered.Mybrotherlivesnearthere,hesaid,asifthat
provedsomething.Wait.Heclosedthewindow.
IdontknowifIcanmakeitdown,Jerrysaid.Thisankleiskilling
me.
Hellbeback,Consaid.Themanreturnedandopenedthewindow
again.Conretrievedherbagandbrushedoffhercoatasbestshecould,
thenmadeherwayoverthesill.Imsorrytobesodirty,shesaid.
Whenshegotinside,themanwasstandingtothesidenotblockingher
pathbutleaningagainsthisstoveholdingaknifepointedather.She

turned,raisingherhand,totellJerrytostayoutside.Maybehecould
scream.Maybethecopshadreallybeencalled,andwouldarrestbutalso
protectthem.
Imsorry,Maam,themansaid.Ihavetobesure.Youcantbetoo
careful.
Constoodstill,studyinghim,thenunderstood.Youthinkweregoing
tohurtyou?shesaid.
Iletyouintomyhome,themansaid.
Thiswastrue.Itsallright,shesaidtoJerry,whoclimbedontothesill
andsatthereforamoment.Hecouldntputweightontheinjuredankle
andhadtotryseveraltimesbefore,withacry,heendeduponhishands
andkneesonthemanskitchenfloor.NowConsupportedhimashe
stood.Withthecherrywoodmanremainingwherehewasapparently
protectinghisstovetheymovedsidebyside,leaningtogether,across
thekitchen,throughasparselyfurnished,extremelycleanlivingroom,
andoutintothecorridor.Therewasnoelevator,andittookthemafew
momentstofigureouthowtogetdownthestairs.Finally,Jerryhopped,
andConwaitedbelowtosteadyhimifhestartedtotumble.Atlastthey
reachedthedownstairslobby,crossedit,and,leaningtogether,made
theirwayoutside,staredatbytwomiddleschoolkids.Wheresthe
subway?Jerrysaid.Wellnevergetacabaroundhere.Itwasntfar.
LikeMarcusOgilvystrainlinethatneverwas,theyreachedBroadway
Junctionand,alongtimelater,JerryhobbledintoConsapartment,
leaningonherarm.

SheinstalledhimonthesofawithanicepackandtheTVremote,then
pouredherselfsomeScotch.Glassinhand,shereturnedtotheliving
room.Asshebegantospeak,herhandsseemedtobecomelighter,harder
tocontrol,soshehadtoputherdrinkdownonabookcase.Shewanted
totouchhim,butdidnt.Herhandsnottherestofherwantedto
touchhim.Herhandshadacquiredalayerofsofterbutmorehighly
chargedairthanthatintherestoftheatmosphere;theyhadtheirown
opinion.Shepressedthemtohersides.Youneedmoreice?shesaid.
OrsomeScotch?
Aglassofwaterwouldbegood.Jerrystaredatthetelevisionscreen.
Thegraygreenknittedblobnexttothesofaseemedlargerthanithad
thatmorning.SixAmericanshaddiedinahelicoptercrashinIraq.
MaybeConwouldcheckthepolicereportonJoannasarrest,tryto
figureoutifitwaslegalafterall.Sheretrievedherdrink.Herhandsstill
feltlighterandlargerthanusual,pleasanterthanthegraycoldhands
shedcarriedforyears.AgainshedidnttouchJerry.Shereturnedtothe
kitchenanddrank,lookingatherhands.