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Because I'm just ... um .... I don't know. Why give an interview when you
can leave a warning, you know? And the gratitude I get is this charlatan
chose not to do his job, which is to WRITE. Clearly, someone who believes
he is above the law. Well, you've been warned, dude. Bring it. The
goddesses? Alex, the goddesses .... Let me just say this about the
goddesses: I don't believe the term is good enough ... is good enough ...
but when you're bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the
best choice available, right? You know, he might be Nails, but I'm
frickin' bayonets, you know? I am battle-tested bayonets, bro. Yes! I don't
read anything after it's come out, because I will not waste my precious
time on such ridiculous nonsense. But I understand, according to you, that
there was a lot of curiosity about the Vatican assassins. Yeah. I did.
Because he's nothing shy of that. And it is his job to go out there and
embarrass people. Embarrass them. Not just beat them, but embarrass them in
the process. And I'm ... you know ... most of the time. And this includes
naps! You know, I'm an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. And I
will deploy my ordinance to the ground. And, uh .... And I'm like ...
guys, it's right there in the thing. Duh! We work for the Pope. We murder
people. We're Vatican assassins. They urge you to put down your sword and
come join the winners. In 22 years the only 'winners' I could locate in
their toothless warren were either driving a convertible van or living like
trolls under an abandoned bridge. Well, yeah. But I was gonna tell you, I'm
tired of being told like, 'Oh, you can't talk about that. You can't talk
about that.' Bull s.h.i.t. ... uh .... And you know, I'm tired ... I'm so
tired of pretending like my life isn't perfect and bitchin' and just
winning every second .... And I'm not perfect and bitchin', and just
delivering the goods at every frickin' turn. And I'm like ... guys, it's
right there in the thing. Duh! We work for the Pope. We murder people.
We're Vatican assassins. But I dare anyone to debate me on things. It's
being directed and written by a genius name David Ward who - oh, I don't
know - won the Academy Award at 23 for writing The Sting. And it was his
pen and his vision that created the classic that we know today as Major
League. I'm cured. I'm done. 'Well, we all have to sit in here and touch
ourselves and frown.' Well, you don't look like you're having a lot of fun.
The goddesses? Alex, the goddesses .... Let me just say this about the
goddesses: I don't believe the term is good enough ... is good enough ...
but when you're bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the
best choice available, right? I just closed my eyes and in a nanosecond I
cured myself from this ridiculous model of disease, addiction, and
obsession. It's just ... It's just the work of sissies. And Alex, try to
get your mind around this, as a fellow warrior, deep in the trenches: Their
entire manifesto is built upon complete and total surrender ... or the
concept of complete and total surrender. Because I'm just ... um .... I
don't know. Why give an interview when you can leave a warning, you know?
So if you think about it, dude, it's like I'm 0-for-3 with marriage, with
ne'er an excuse. Yeah, I didn't care about that vanity card. In fact, I
went straight on with that one and just dispelled that one. THE BIBLE
GRIPPERS! Yeah, I sat with two - hey, coincidence - F-18, Top Gun, radical
fire, napalm dropping pilots in my movie theater watching the chopper
attack sequence on the beachhead to go surfing because they wanted to and
those people were in their way. THE BIBLE GRIPPERS! And therefore there's
nothing in the middle. I don't live in the middle anymore. That's where you

get slaughtered. That's where you get embarrassed in front of the prom
queen. And it's just not an option. And that was actually, you know, one
of the few compliments that clown has paid me in frickin' almost a decade.
But like in baseball, the scoreboard doesn't lie. Never has. So what we
all have is a marriage of the heart ... of the hearts. There's a new
sheriff in town, and he has an army of assassins. Oh, we must speak of the
Vatican assassins. So ... you know ... within that is tremendous focus, and
tremendous clarity, and tremendous peace. It's ... yeah ... it's an
understatement. You know, I just ... I'm sorry, man, I got magic and I got
poetry in my fingertips. And the gratitude I get is this charlatan chose
not to do his job, which is to WRITE. Clearly, someone who believes he is
above the law. Well, you've been warned, dude. Bring it. The goddesses?
Alex, the goddesses .... Let me just say this about the goddesses: I don't
believe the term is good enough ... is good enough ... but when you're
bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the best choice
available, right? Because you have absolute and total resolve about your
decisions. If you love with violence and you hate with violence, there's
nothing that can be questioned. You know, they lay down with their ugly
wives in front of their ugly children and just look at their loser lives
and then they look at me and say, 'I CAN'T PROCESS IT!' Well, no, and you
never will. Stop trying. Just sit back and enjoy the show .... You know?
There's a new sheriff in town, and he has an army of assassins. Oh, we must
speak of the Vatican assassins. Yeah. I did. Because he's nothing shy of
that. And it is his job to go out there and embarrass people. Embarrass
them. Not just beat them, but embarrass them in the process.
Um ... but
I'm excited to get back ... to work. Um ... and not to completely discount
what you just talked about ... It's just that if I bring up these ... these
turds ... these little losers ... there's no reason to then bring them back
into the fold, because I have real fame, and they have nothing. Yes! I
don't read anything after it's come out, because I will not waste my
precious time on such ridiculous nonsense. But I understand, according to
you, that there was a lot of curiosity about the Vatican assassins. Yeah,
why not? 'Cause it's just pure ... pure and complete gnarlyisms. Yeah. I
did. Because he's nothing shy of that. And it is his job to go out there
and embarrass people. Embarrass them. Not just beat them, but embarrass
them in the process. THE BIBLE GRIPPERS! In fact, a lot of people think the
movie's called 'Wild Thing', as they should.
How complicated can it be?
What they're not ready for, is guys like you and I, Nails, and all the
other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life ... that we are high priests ...
Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people. See where that goes.
Take for instance its founder and death written ... I don't know ... broken
down plagiarist ... stayed high on acid until the day he died. I can't seem
to find that chapter in his silly book of lies. Because I'm just ... um
.... I don't know. Why give an interview when you can leave a warning, you
know? But it's just not ... I'm not fair game. I'm not a soft target. It's
over. Well, yeah. But I was gonna tell you, I'm tired of being told like,
'Oh, you can't talk about that. You can't talk about that.' Bull s.h.i.t.
... uh .... Because I'm just ... um .... I don't know. Why give an
interview when you can leave a warning, you know? They will lose the rest
of their lives as they think about me and my life for the rest of their
lives. So ... it's ... there's no ... again, bring me a challenge,
somebody. Bring me a frickin' challenge. Because, you know ... it just
ain't there. WINNING!