Hope & Despair Screenplay

Hope & Despair
Original Screenplay written by Jason Wiese
jasonwiese77@gmail.com
Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese
FADE IN
EXT. IGGYS BAR, UPPER EAST SIDE OF MANHATTAN - NIGHT
SUPERIMPOSE:
Lifes but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
-William Shakespeare
INT. IGGYS BAR, UPPER EAST SIDE
An average, down-to-earth man in his late-thirties, whos
dressed in an untucked button down shirt and jeans, is
standing against a wall looking down at his phone in the
midst of a crowded room filled with PARTIERS more than ten
years his junior.
ADAM HALL is on a first date with a girl he met online, but
shes been outside on her phone for so long that hes
nervously flipping through websites to pass the time.
Hes able to shift his eyes off his phone long enough to
eye her half drank beer thats sitting on the table next to
him then looks at his watch to check the time.
After that he takes a huge swig from his beer while
nervously tapping his foot.
A young attractive WAITRESS comes by and eyes the two halffull beers sitting on the table.
IGGYS WAITRESS
Your dates been gone for a while now.
ADAM
Oh youve noticed?
IGGYS WAITRESS
Honey Im a waitress, its my job to
notice.
ADAM
Its been twelve minutes, but whos
counting?

IGGYS WAITRESS
Is she coming back?
Adam looks around the packed bar area but doesnt see his
date.
ADAM
(shrugs)
I guess not.
IGGYS WAITRESS
That sucks, Im sorry.
ADAM
I wish I could say it happens, and Im
sure it does, but this is the first time
its happened to me.
She tries to take his dates bottle away but is quickly
stopped by Adam.
ADAM
Not so fast, Id hate to see half a
mediocre beer like this go to waste.
He takes the beer out of her hand and drinks it.
IGGYS WAITRESS
OK, suit yourself. Do you need anything
else while Im here?
ADAM
No, Im perfectly content to wallow in my
own misery for the time being.
IGGYS WAITRESS
(unfazed)
OK well let me know if you need anything.
As the waitress walks away, ADAM finishes off his dates
beer then goes back to drinking his own.
ADAM (V.O.)
Dating is like war. And Ive always
said to myself that, like a grizzled
war veteran, Ive seen and experienced
everything in battleor at least I always
think I have. However, theres never a
(MORE)

ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
shortage of surprises lurking around
every corner, or every date. Now I wont
go as far as to compare my dates to the
enemy, but a lot of times they dont
exactly seem like an ally. Take Victoria
for instance, she was my date tonight.
She seemed sweet when I first met her
in person earlier at a local gastropub.
I met her on Bumble, its one of those
swipe right, swipe left dating apps
that rose in popularity after Tinder
became a cesspool of hookers, sexbots,
and undercover transvestites. We
chatted over text for a week and she
seemed normal, which is really all you
can ask for in the adventurous world
of anonymous dating, so we met up for
drinks and a quick bite tonight. Again,
all was well, she found me hilarious
and she had nice eyes and a charming
disposition, however she was really
coy about what she did for a living.
Seriously, she wouldnt tell me. Im
not saying that shouldve been a red
flag, but it was enough to make me go,
hmmm. Anyways after we ate, I had a
lovely chicken dish, she had some baked
mac & cheese concoction, she suggested
we go grab another drink elsewhere in
the neighborhood. She suggested it,
remember that, she did, not me, although
I was perfectly happy to go. So we go
to some hole-in-the-wall dive bar
popular with the right out of college
dumb kid crowd. Why did we go there
you ask? Meh, why not, its a lazy
Saturday night in the summer and we
both wanted to stay in the neighborhood.
Plus they do karaoke after eleven so
if we were feeling adventurous wed
have something silly to do after a few
more beers. So we get to the bar and
thats when the phone checking starts.
I swear its like 90% of girls have
these damn things attached to their
right hand at all times. What was
she checking so often on the phone at
(MORE)

ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
eleven oclock on a Saturday night?
I dont know but I could take a guess,
I mean its not like she was checking
the weather, her work email or even the
sports scores. I didnt know much about
this girl yet but I knew she didnt know
the difference between a fastball and a
curve. And it wasnt a cursory check
either, this went on, on and off, for
about ten minutes, interspersed with
quick text replies. A little rude but
I concentrated on drinking my Bud Light
during that time, until she told me she
had to call her friend who needs advice
to deal with her nosy landlord. At
eleven oclock at night? Really, you
have to call her at eleven oclock at
night? OK, whatever. Go for it. She
goes outside to use the phone, or at
least I thought she did. I couldnt
tell since we were hanging out in the
back room, far from the front door.
Five minutes pass and I think no big
deal. Eight minutes pass and my mind
starts wandering, ten minutes pass and
I start wondering when the acceptable
time would be to drink her beer which
is no doubt getting warm by then, hell
I would just be helping her out at that
point. I decide that at fifteen minutes
I would finish her beer and go outside
to look for her. That timetable moved
up when the waitress came by and noticed
that I was sans date. I had to do something to retain some semblance of my manhood, so I did the only thing I could
think of, pound her beer. Now let me
see if I can find my date.
Adam finishes his beer and puts it down emphatically on the
table then zig zags his way through the crowded bar.
EXT. IGGYS BAR, UPPER EAST SIDE - NIGHT
Adam gets outside and looks around for Victoria. He sees a
few small groups of SMOKERS loitering outside but doesnt
see her.

ADAM (V.O.)
Of course shes not out here. You know,
it reminds me of what a couple of friends
have said to me on occasion, sometimes
a girl just wants to have a free dinner
and drinks. I think this girl just
wanted a freebie then go meet up with
whoever the hell she was texting.
Perhaps, but I dont want to believe
thats the case with everyone. But
who knows maybe it is.
Adam looks over to a female leaning against the front of
the building, admiring the cigarette shes smoking, and
approaches her.
ADAM
Excuse me, can I bum a smoke off of you?
FEMALE SMOKER
Sure.
She reaches into her purse and pulls out a pack of
cigarettes. He takes one.
FEMALE SMOKER
Do you need a light?
ADAM
If you dont mind.
She lights his cigarette then Adam takes one puff and
immediately starts coughing like the inexperienced smoker
he is.
The female smoker and her friends laugh over his amateurish
behavior.
FEMALE SMOKER
Damn are you ok?
ADAM
(coughing)
Yeah, Im fine.
FEMALE SMOKER
Its like youve never smoked a cigarette
before.

ADAM
I havent.
FEMALE SMOKER
Then why are you starting now?
ADAM
Its just been that kind of night.
FEMALE SMOKER
Sorry to hear that
She discards her cigarette on the ground and steps on it
then takes the cigarette out of Adams mouth.
FEMALE SMOKER (contd)
But give me back my cigarette, I dont
want to waste it on you.
She takes a puff of the cigarette, blows the smoke in his
face then walks to the other side of the wall with her
friends.
ADAM (V.O.)
Just another night in my life. I cant
say Im surprised about it anymore.
My shit luck started about a year ago.
Let me be clear though, my luck has been
pretty shitty for the better part of
the last four years, but its been
ridiculously shitty over the last year
particularly.
FLASHBACK TO ADAMS PAST
INT. HOFBRAUS BIERHAUS, MIDTOWN MANHATTAN
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
It was probably March of last year, I was
out with a few friends for a normal after
work happy hour.
Adam and three friends are sitting at a long picnic table
in a German-style beer hall. Sitting across from him are
ANTHONY and MARK, two of the first friends he made years
ago when he moved to New York post-college. Both are in
their early-forties and a little older than Adam.

As Anthony and Mark have a conversation amongst themselves,
Adam is chatting with another friend at the table, who
coincidentally works with Anthony, named CHRISSY, a pretty
redhead in her mid-thirties.
ADAM
So how is it going Chrissy? Hows the
guys treating you in your life?
CHRISSY
Ahhh, you know how it goes. I feel like
were both kind of in the same boat. Girl
meets boy at the bar, girl might like
boy but isnt exactly sure but is
interested enough to give boy her phone
number, boy never calls or texts so girl
sits at home by herself on Friday night
with her cat drinking a whole bottle of
red while watching Netflix.
ADAM
Drinking and watching anything good at
least?
CHRISSY
A merlot with Narcos.
ADAM
I hear merlot is making a comeback.
CHRISSY
It shouldve never left, damn that movie
Sideways.
ADAM
You got to admit though, there were some
terrible merlots out there.
CHRISSY
Theres bad wine everywhere.
ADAM
True.
CHRISSY
How about you, whats up with you?
ADAM
Oh, same old, same old.

CHRISSY
And what does that mean?
ADAM
I guess that means that Im pretty much
in the same boat as you.
CHRISSY
What happened this time?
ADAM
Oh, you know, boy meets girl, boy takes
girl out on a date, then another, then
another, then on the fourth date girl
brings boy to a bar where girls exboyfriend happens to be hanging out at.
Boy is used as a pawn to make the ex
jealous, girl gets back with ex so boy
spends the next Friday night at his
neighborhood bar alone playing the part
of the creepy guy whos hanging by
himself.
That sucks.
cruel.
CHRISSY
Sometimes chicks can be so
ADAM
Tell me about it.

CHRISSY
Im happy Im not like that.
ADAM (V.O.)
This is Chrissy, Ive changed her name to
protect the completely innocent, but dont
worry, Im going to use real names for the
other girls that I come across along my
journey. Chrissys a nice girl, drinker
of good beer and fellow survivor of the
dating game. She does live outside of
the five boroughs but no ones perfect,
weve known each other for years, worked
at the same company briefly, now in a
weird coincidence she works with my
friend Anthony over there. I felt like
we had a lot in common, or at least
enough where we could hang out without
the guys.

ADAM
Hey Chrissy, theres this really good
beer bar between where we work, do you
want to check it out some time?
CHRISSY
(caught off guard)
What, like a date?
ADAM
I dont know, whatever you want to call
it. Its just two people hanging out
or whatever.
CHRISSY
Like a date?
ADAM
(laughs)
Dont make this more awkward for me.
Just an outing where we can hang out
and chat without our bonehead friends
around.
CHRISSY
I dont know.
ADAM
(disappointedly)
OK.
CHRISSY
I mean, I dont know if I can keep up
with you.
ADAM
What do you mean?
CHRISSY
You like to drink, to put it mildly.
ADAM (V.O.)
Thats true.
CHRISSY (contd)
And dont forget, Ive known you for a
while so Ive heard a lot of stories.
10

ADAM
All awesome I hope, right?
Meh.
CHRISSY
Fifty, fifty.
ADAM (V.O.)
Yeah, thats probably true.
could be worse though.
I guess it
ADAM
A lot of those more screwed up stories
happened when I was younger, much younger.
Ive matured a lot lately.
CHRISSY
Oh, you have?
ADAM
I have, I swear.
Chrissy looks down at Adams nearly finished liter of beer
then looks at her still half-filled beer.
CHRISSY
You still drink really fast though.
ADAM
Well some old habits do die hard.
CHRISSY
Ill tell you what. Ive got a big
project due in two weeks that I have
to commit most of my free time to so
why dont we chat after that and set
something up for the end of the month?
ADAM
Seriously?
CHRISSY
Yeah.
ADAM
Cool! I promise youll have fun. I
cant promise anything else, but as
god as my witness, you will have fun.
11
12
CHRISSY
Excellent because thats how good things
usually start.
Chrissy abruptly gets up from the table.
CHRISSY (contd)
Sorry, I have to use the bathroom.
ADAM
Go ahead.
As Chrissy walks away, Anthony leans over the table to talk
to Adam.
ANTHONY
Hows it going over there?
to be pretty chummy.
You two seem
ADAM
Yeah, were just chatting.
MARK
Chatting, thats it?
ADAM
Yes, chatting about drinking beer.
ANTHONY
God, youre so boring. Why dont you ask
Chrissy out? Shes a nice girl, shes
single, what do you have to lose?
ADAM
Just let me live my life, OK Anthony?
ANTHONY
Fine, fine, Im just looking out for you.
Adam notices a text pop up on his phone screen from his exgirlfriend, Bianca Hey, would you like to grab a drink
sometime?
Mark notices that Adam looks a little perplexed.
You OK Adam?
MARK
Whats up?

ADAM
Yeah, Im ummm, fine.
ANTHONY
You dont seem fine.
ADAM
I am.
ANTHONY
Who is that?
ADAM
Its nobody.
MARK
Nobody, really?
ADAM
Yeah, ummm, nobody.
MARK
It doesnt seem like nobody.
ANTHONY
Come on, why so evasive?
Who is it?
ADAM
Fine, its Bianca. She wants to see if
I want to grab a drink sometime.
Anthony rolls his eyes in despair.
MARK
Oh no, oh no, oh hell fucking no!
No way! No!
ADAM
Why?
What?
ANTHONY
Are you talking to Bianca again?
ADAM
No.
MARK
Then why is she texting you?
No!
13

ADAM
I dont know, its a little out of the
blue.
MARK
Out of the blue?
ADAM
Well yeah.
MARK
When was the last time you talked to
her?
ADAM
Probably about a year ago.
ANTHONY
And that was the last communication you
had with her?
ADAM
Yeswell, I mean I did email a few weeks
ago to wish her a happy birthday but
its not like she ever replied to that.
Mark points down to Adams iPhone screen.
MARK
She just did.
ANTHONY
Are you going to reply to her?
MARK
Of course hes going to reply to her.
ADAM
I am, I dont see what the big deal is.
MARK
Because whenever shes in your life your
head gets all fucked up.
ADAM
Its not her fault though.
Its mine.
14

MARK
It doesnt matter whose fault it is,
youre my friend, not her. I dont
give a shit about her, but I care about
what effect, either direct or indirect,
she has on you.
ADAM
I dont even know what youre talking
about.
ANTHONY
Adam, youre not the same when shes in
your life.
ADAM
How so?
ANTHONY
Youve said it yourself. Youre 1,000%
Bianca 100% of the time when shes
actively around. Thatd be fine if
you were dating her, but the last time
I checked you guys havent been together
in over three years.
ADAM
So? Whats wrong with being into someone?
Sorry you dont get it.
ANTHONY
I do get it. But its not healthy for
you to stop your life on a dime when she
comes back around.
ADAM
How do I stop my life on a dime?
MARK
Lets see, you dont date anyone else
when your friend Bianca is around, you
spend as much time as possible with her,
alienating everything else in the process.
So whenever she leaves your life, for
whatever reason, you always seem to have
to start your personal life completely
over again.
15

ANTHONY
Not only that, but youre always a mess
when she leaves your life. And make no
mistake, she always leaves.
MARK
Hes right, you do become a mess, its
almost like she puts a curse on you or
something.
ADAM
Maybe thats true, well everything except
for the stupid curse shit, but maybe it
is true that I start from zero and I
become a mess. You guys would probably
know best.
ANTHONY
It is true and it sucks that you cant
seem to grasp the fact that she wants
different things than you do.
ADAM
Has it ever occurred to you that I might
love that crazy bitch?
ANTHONY
And has it ever occurred to you that she
doesnt love you back?
ADAM
So what do you want me to do?
MARK
Move on Adam, just move on. I know it
sucks, I get it. But you cant move on
with life if you dont move on from her.
ADAM
How do I do that?
ANTHONY
Delete that text for starters.
like you never received it.
Pretend
MARK
Actually, delete her number entirely.
16
17
ADAM
OK, Ill do it.
MARK
And make sure, under no circumstances,
that you ever email her for any reason.
OK?
ADAM
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
MARK
Adam, Im serious about this.
ADAM
(stares at him)
Yes, I understand.
Anthony and Mark wait to see Adam delete the text but he
continues sitting there innocently drinking his beer.
ADAM
What?
MARK
Well are you going to delete it?
ADAM
What?
Here?
Now?
ANTHONY
Yes.
ADAM
OK, fine.
Adam picks up his phone and deletes the text then her phone
number from his contact list. Once done he shows the guys
that the text isnt there.
ADAM
There, are you happy?
MARK
Almost.
Mark takes the phone from him and looks through his contact
list to make sure her name was deleted.
18
ADAM
What are you doing?
MARK
Just making sure shes not in your contacts.
ADAM
Shes not.
Once satisfied, Mark passes the phone back to Adam.
ANTHONY
We good?
MARK
Yeah, hes clean.
ANTHONY
So anyways, you should
Adam interrupts him once he notices Chrissy walking back to
their table.
ADAM
(interrupts)
Shhh guys, Chrissys coming back.
ANTHONY
So? Shes one of the guys, shell probably
have some good advice for you too.
MARK
Beyond just calling you an idiot like we
do.
ADAM
Nah, I dont want her knowing.
MARK
Why?
ADAM
Just dont bring it up, Im embarrassed
enough over this as it is.
ANTHONY
OK, fine.
19
Chrissy walks back to the table and, without sitting, grabs

one more sip from her liter of beer before grabbing her
coat.
ADAM
Where are you going?
CHRISSY
Sorry guys, but I have to make my train
back to Westchester.
ADAM
I cant convince you to stay for one more?
CHRISSY
See, there you go again, drinking just
for the sake of drinking.
ADAM
(defensively)
II mean, I, ummm.
CHRISSY
Im kidding. Kind of. Just tell me
youll work on that and message me in
a couple weeks, OK?
ADAM
Sounds goodand I will.
CHRISSY
Good night guys.
ANTHONY & MARK
Good night Chrissy.
Adam watches as Chrissy walks towards the exit.
ADAM (V.O.)
Sure as shit, two weeks pass and I never
messaged Chrissy. Why? I think you know
why.
INT. ADAMS APARTMENT
LIVING ROOM
Later that night, Adam is pacing back and forth across his
living room like hes nervous over something.
20
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)

Fucking Bianca. The guys were right,
I cant lie, she is like my kryptonite.
Unfortunately Chrissy was put on the
Back burner indefinitely due to my
infatuation with Bianca. When shes
around, theres no one else.
After a few seconds, he walks over to his coffee table and
grabs his iPhone.
He looks at it then screams out before putting it back down
on the table.
ADAM
Ahhh fuck!
Adam continues pacing back and forth while talking to
himself.
ADAM
Come on Adam, willpower, have some
willpower! Its called restraint,
its what strong-minded people have.
Adam stops on the other side of the room and looks over
again at his phone sitting on the table.
ADAM (contd)
(to himself)
Dont do it. Dont do it Adam! Think
about it, your life is on the line here.
Not wasting anymore time, he rushes over to the table and
picks up his iPhone.
ADAM (contd)
Ahh fuck it, I never claimed to be strongwilled anyways.
He swipes through his call history and sees a number, not
associated with a saved contact, from a year ago. Its
Bianca.
He clicks on the number and presses Send Message to text
her as she paces back and forth again around the room.
Adam practices several different responses while he paces
around before finally settling on one.
21
ADAM
(to himself)
Hi Bianca, grabbing a drink does indeed
sound like a splendid idea. No, no,
way too formal. Hi B, certainly Id
love to grab a drink, how does tomorrow
sound? No, no, way too forward. Cool,
lets do it. No, no, way too informal.
Sure, Id love too. Let me know what
day works for you. Perfect.
Satisfied, Adam looks out his window to the Queens skyline
across the East River and takes a deep breath before
finally deciding to press Send.
ADAM
Andsend.
The text is away so he decides to take a seat on his couch,
with his phone in hand, patiently waiting for a reply text
to come through.
ADAM (V.O.)
So who is Bianca? Its a good question.
Im sure youve already picked up bits
and pieces about her so far. Kryptonite,
we dated three years ago, and shes been
intermittently in my life ever since.
Sounds like a regular ex-girlfriend
right? Nothing regular about her in my
eyes though. Take the most wonderful
girl that you can think of, a girl that
leaves you breathless at just the thought
of seeing her and mix in a lot of charm,
beauty and personality and there you have
her. Sure she pissed me the fuck off on
occasion but what girl doesnt do that
to a guy? Its not a question of getting
pissed off but more of a question of
being an acceptable level of pissed off.
I can openly admit that I cant quit
her and you know what? I dont care.
Im not ashamed to admit that and I dont
care that my friends think Im some sort
of sucker that cant move on. Im selfaware to know that thats true, and you
know what? Big fucking deal! Its my
life, not theirs and not yours.
22
BEDROOM
Its pitch dark late at night, Adam is sleeping when
theres a vibration from his phone which is sitting on his
end table nearby.
The noise wakes Adam up who rolls over to grab his phone.
The phone screen is emanating light due to a recently
received text message.
He rubs his eyes and looks at the screen.
Bianca Great. How about Saturday?
Its a text from
Adam quickly responds Saturday works for me. As soon

as he sends his message he notices that shes already
working on a reply.
Bianca Whoa, that was a quick reply.
Adam I guess Im excited to see you.
Bianca Im looking forward to it too.
Saturday to make plans.
Ill text you on
Adam Sounds good.

Bianca Good night!
Adam Night night to you too.
Adam puts the phone back down then turns back over and goes
to sleep, but not before shouting out in excitement.
ADAM
Yes!!!
ADAM (V.O.)
And just like that, she was back in my
life again.
INT. THE GILROY, UPPER EAST SIDE
Adam walks into the nearly empty lounge and sees BIANCA, a
very pretty and sweet-looking Cuban woman in her midthirties, sitting at a table by herself.
He walks over and gives her a kiss on the cheek.

ADAM
Hey Bianca, sorry, I tried my best to
get here first.
BIANCA
Oh dont worry about it, I was in the
neighborhood anyways. Besides, Im sorry
I had to change our plans to Sunday.
ADAM
Thats OK. Im flexible especially when
it comes to you.
Adam sits down and gets comfortable.
BIANCA
So how are you doing? Whats been going
on over the last year?
ADAM
Oh you know, a little of this, a little
of that. But all I know is Ive been
missing you greatly.
BIANCA
Awww, thats so sweet!
ADAM (V.O.)
After the Gilroy, we were practically
inseparable for a month. It was just
like old times, it didnt feel like we
ever skipped a beat. Live music was
our thing and we hit up random places
all over the city just like we used to.
MONTAGE ADAM AND BIANCA HANGING OUT AT DIFFERENT VENUES
INT. BRANDYS PIANO BAR, UPPER EAST SIDE
Adam and Bianca are standing by the bar singing Sweet
Caroline along with the CROWD and the PIANIST.
INT. BARBES, BROOKLYN
In a small backroom, Adam and Bianca are standing right in
front of the band Banda De Los Muertos rocking back and
forth as they play a melody of their Sinaloa songs.
23
24
Adam takes out his iPhone and proceeds to take several

selfies with his arm around Bianca, both are smiling
profusely.
INT. VILLAGE UNDERGROUND, GREENWICH VILLAGE
Adam and Bianca are sitting at a table sharing a bottle of
red wine as they collectively move to the beat of the house
cover band playing Danza Kuduro.
ADAM (V.O.)
After a while I got comfortable enough
to ask her out on a real date. You
might be sitting there asking yourself,
but Adam, what do you think youve
been doing for the last month? And
thats a fair question to ask. For
some reason things arent always black
& white for me and answers arent
typically straightforward. I tend to
live in the gray areas especially when
it comes to dating. Why? Well I chalk
it up to my inordinate amount of female
friends which can cause confusion sometimes. You know you have those friends
of the opposite sex that when you hang
out with them theres always an underlying
thought of whether or not youre actually
on a date or if you really are just out
as friends. Its a careful balancing
act and one that I seem to unwittingly
encourage by not coming out and defining
the rules of engagement, if you know what
I mean. Its not as easy as it seems to
set parameters, besides I dont want to
make things awkward between me and a
friend, I need all the friends I can
keep at my age. So thats what I think
it is but who the hell really knows.
LIVING ROOM
Adam is sitting at his desk looking at himself in a
handheld mirror. Hes dressed up wearing his finest suit
jacket and Brooks Brothers pastel shirt.

ADAM (V.O.)
So I asked Bianca out, but since this
was potentially the third time around,
I needed a hook. I couldnt just call
or text her. I wanted to do something
a lot more special and personal. So,
I shit you not, I made a YouTube video.
(pauses)
No really, I made a fucking YouTube
video. In retrospect, it probably wasnt
the best idea I ever had, I think it
mightve made me look like a creepy
stalker, but whatever, I wasnt thinking
clearly, I dont seem to ever think
clearly when it comes to Bianca.
Adam straightens out his collar a couple times in the
mirror to make it just perfect as he practices his
annunciation.
ADAM
A, E, I, O, U. A, E, I, O, U. A, E,
I, O, U and sometimes Y.
(to himself)
OK, I can do this. I can do this.
Adam sets up his iPad on his desk and begins recording
himself.
ADAM
(nervously)
Hi Bianca, this is umm, Jason, and I just
wanted to say, I mean I just wanted to
record, ummm. Aww shit.
Adam stops recording.
ADAM
(to himself)
Calm down Adam. Calm down. Relax, its
just like youre conversing by yourself
with an old friend. OK.
Adam presses record again.
ADAM
Hello Bianca, this is umm, Jason, and I
thought Id make you a video to umm,
(MORE)
25

ADAM (contd)
express my ummm, well to tell you umm,
well to say. Fuck!
Adam stops recording again.
ADAM (V.O.)
This is basically how it went for the
next hour. 16 takes in all. Hey you
try memorizing a sincere 10 minute speech
on video. Its not easy. Sure I had
some notes with buzzwords hidden around
my desk but other than that I was doing
this totally from memoryand my heart.
It was quite nerve racking.
Theres small post-it notes all around his desk and stuck
on his computer featuring buzzwords like butterflies,
missed you, 103 ideas, happy, want to be
forthright, better person, mucho amor.
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
I mean its not like I could read my
speech off a Word document, that wouldnt
be very sincere. Also, I tried that and
it was awful. My staring at the screen
made me look like a complete psychopath.
Adam takes a deep breath then starts recording again.
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
Finally on the 16th try, magic.
ADAM
Hello Bianca, several months ago I was
talking to my friend, Emily, about her
new boyfriend and she was telling me
how she gets butterflies in her stomach
before each time she sees him and how
excited she is every time she sees his
name pop up in a text to her. I thought
that was a very sweet sentiment and told
her that I know those feelings, Ive had
those exact feelings before with my exBianca, but I truly didnt think Id ever
have them again which was admittedly a
sad statement. Well, thankfully I was
wrong. You see Bianca, just like when
(MORE)
26

ADAM (contd)
we were first hanging out all those
years ago, I again find myself getting
those same butterflies, feeling the same
nervousness all over again, before every
time we hang out. But its an exciting
nervousness, not taking a standardized
test nervousness. I look forward to
seeing you, we do really fun things and
I feel extremely lucky when you agree
to share your time with me. Hanging
out with you is always the highlight
of my week and I cherish every moment
were together. So why the butterflies?
I dont think its hard to understand
whyyoure a good person, witty,
intelligent, you make me laugh, youre
ridiculously beautiful both inside and
out and youre an acceptable level of
crazy. You might not realize at first
how big of a compliment that is, but
trust me, it is. What guy wouldnt
have at least some nerves trying to
play in the same ballpark with someone
thats as special as you? These butterflies also come from a place of love.
Yes, I do love you.
ADAM (V.O.)
I know what youre thinking, cheese
on top of cheese, but what can I say?
Love makes a man do weird shit. Yeah,
I said love, so what? Its natural
to love and I told her I loved her,
I really put myself out there, with
nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.
Anyways, Ill spare you the rest of
the video, its ten minutes long you
know and I have a larger story to tell.
But Im sure you can still find it
somewhere on YouTube. Last I checked
it has sixteen views, all of which may
have been from me.
(pauses)
So what happened after I sent her the
video? I dont know. Truth be told,
it was actually quite bizarre. Its
like the video never happened. I hung
(MORE)
27
28
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)

out with her a few times after I sent
it but she never mentioned it and I
didnt bring it up initially. I could
tell though there was some sort of odd
unspoken tension in the air when we
did hang out. Why didnt I bring it
up after I sent it you ask? I dont
know that either, I guess its probably
because Im a punk ass little bitch.
OK?
EXT. ELLINGTON IN THE PARK, RIVERSIDE PARK DUSK
Adam and Bianca are sitting at a picnic table on the second
level in awkward silence as they watch the sunset over New
Jersey while sipping margaritas.
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
Weve never been at a loss for words,
but it started to happen on a few
occasions. Finally, curiosity got the
best of me, I thought it was only fair
to come out and ask her if she at least
watched the video seeing as though six
weeks had passed from the time I made it.
EXT. STREET, TUDOR CITY NIGHT
Bianca storms out of a stopped taxi in a huff and slams the
door closed.
ADAM
Fuck you too then.
(looks at the cab driver)
That actually wasnt the way I thought
that would go.
ADAM (V.O.)
And that was that. For whatever reason
she got super defensive and downright
evasive when I asked a simple question.
I dont know why, but I do know that
I never spoke to her again unfortunately.
Sorry, but not sorry, for professing my
love. Sometimes I feel like Im damned
if I do, damned if I dont. In retrospect,
I guess that wasnt the best ideabut I
(MORE)

ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
didnt know what else to do, it was
eating me up inside. Unfortunately real
life is not like it is in the movies.
In the movies, a guy professes his love
in the pouring rain, or during a snowstorm, the girl weeps then falls into
his arms. They share a passionate kiss,
fall madly in love and live happily
ever after. In real life, theres a
good chance the girl just ignores you,
or worst, flat out ghosts you. You
know, why deal with someones feelings
when you can just run away from them?
To this day I still dont know if she
ever watched the video. I guess I
should at least be happy she didnt
call the cops on me for harassment.
You know, silver linings.
EXT. 3RD AVENUE, UPPER EAST SIDE DAY
Adam is walking up the street with his head slung down
acting totally despondent.
ADAM (V.O.)
I ended up experiencing the highest of
the highs and the lowest of the lows
over those 2-3 months with her. Needless to say, the seemingly finality of
things sent me into a tailspin, thats
what unrequited love will do to a person.
Adam accidentally walks into a guy because hes not paying
attention to where hes going.
GUY ON THE STREET #1
Watch where youre going.
ADAM
Oh sorry.
Almost immediately after that, Adam bumps into someone
else.
What the fuck dude?
29

ADAM
Sorry, sorry, my bad.
It is your bad.
Adam continues walking down the street, head still slung
low and shoulders slouched.
ADAM (V.O.)
So what did I do? Live on my couch and
feel sorry for myself? No. OK, I did
that for four weeks. But after that?
I decided to date, and date hard, and
date fast and date furious. I became
the Vin fucking Diesel of dating. Why
did I date so much? Because it was all
about hope. I hoped that I could meet
someone awesome, I hoped that I could
find that diamond in the rough, I hoped
that I could be introduced to a new best
friend and, quite frankly, I hoped that
I could find another Bianca. You see,
the idea of hope is a very powerful
aphrodisiac. Hope is what wakes you up
in the morning, its what drives you
through the day and its what keeps
you anxious for the possibilities of
tomorrow. Without hope, what do you
have? Emptiness and despair.
(pauses)
Id rather have hope.
(pauses)
But there was one problem, if you thought
the outcome with Bianca was the lowest
I could get, well you aint seen nothing
yet. It was just the beginning of my
year of unprecedented bad luck dating.
Maybe the guys were right, maybe she
did put a curse on me. Or maybe simply
in this new age of narcissism spurned
on by the digital age, specifically
social media, and the swipe right /
swipe left culture, dating indifference
is the new norm and disappearing is
easier than ever, which also makes it
even more difficult to succeed than
ever before. All I know is that Ive
(MORE)
30
31
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)

met some truly horrible human beings
during that time.
INT. HONKY TONK TAVERN, UPPER EAST SIDE
BAR
Adam is patiently sitting by himself drinking a beer at a
local dive bar while watching a sporting event on the TV.
ADAM (V.O.)
First there was a Swedish girl named
Ana. I met her in a bar one night, this
wasnt the bar by the way, and I quickly
came to the realization that she might
just be borderline psychotic. Wed go
out all day long and were totally fine,
laughing, touchy feely, having fun, but
I swear, once midnight hit she would
turn into a gremlin. All of a sudden,
shed be angry, abusive, and all over
the place; a complete 180 from how she
was just minutes prior, this wasnt
isolated either, this happened three
nights in a rowand the transformation
always occurred right after a trip to
the bathroom. I dont exactly know
why that happened but lets just say
I had my suspicions.
WOMENS BATHROOM
ANA, a pretty Swedish blonde in her early-thirties, lifts
her head up after snorting a long line of cocaine and looks
at herself in the mirror while breathing hard and wiping
her nose.
ANA
Fucking shit thats good stuff.
She grabs her purse and leaves the bathroom.
BAR AREA
Adam sees Ana stumbling back to the bar; she sits down and
barely acknowledges him.
32
ADAM
(innocently)
Hey there, do you want to get out of here?
ANA
(confused)
What?
ADAM
I just thought maybe wed go home and
watch a movie, weve been out all night.
ANA
Dont tell me what to do!
ADAM
Im not trying to
ANA
(interrupts)
You dont control me, you dont own me,
who do you think you are?
ADAM
I wasnt
Ana starts speaking loudly enough that she begins to make a
scene.
ANA
(interrupts again)
No, who the fuck do you think you are?
Just because you bought me dinner and
Ive sucked your dick and licked your
balls you think you can order me around?!?
I say fuck you to that!
Adam tries to diffuse the situation by gently putting his
hand on her elbow to calm her down but this just further
enrages her.
ANA
Dont fucking touch me rapist!!!
ADAM
Whoa, easy on the R word please.
ANA
Get the fuck away from me!

ADAM
No, I think Im going to hang out here.
ANA
Fine, then Im leaving.
Ana grabs her jacket then flips him off.
ANA (contd)
Fuck you!
The bartender approaches Adam once Ana storms out.
HONKY TONK BARTENDER
What the hell was that about?
ADAM
I have no clue. You saw her go to the
bathroom before, she was fine then,
right?
HONKY TONK BARTENDER
She seemed fineuntil she came out.
ADAM
Welcome to my life. I guess I should
chase after her, make sure she gets
home OK and doesnt hurt herself or
anyone else.
EXT. 1ST AVENUE, OUTSIDE HONKY TONK TAVERN NIGHT
Ana is standing on the street impatiently trying to hail a
cab when Adam exits the bar and approaches her.
ANA
Stay the fuck away from me.
ADAM
Ana, Im just trying to figure out what
happened.
What happened?
what happened!
ANA
Youre a creep thats
ADAM
I dont get it.
33

ANA
What dont you get?
ADAM
Well for starters I have no idea why
youre trying to hail a cab when you
live four blocks away. But thats
beside the point.
Ana gets frustrated because she cant get a cab so she
storms up the street with Adam following behind her.
ADAM (contd)
I dont get why youre so normal all
day long then its like a switch flips
late at night and you become a different
person. What the fuck is up with that?
ANA
Oh, so Im batshit crazy in your eyes
now? Why do you fuck me then? Why are
you an asshole? Youre just like every
other prick in this city. Fucking loser.
ADAM
You know, this is the third night in a
row this has happened, were all good
then you flip out on me for no reason.
ANA
So?
ADAM
So, I want you to pay for your share of
tonights dinner.
(thinking over what he
just said)
Yes, I want you to pay for your dinner.
ANA
What?
ADAM
You heard me, I let your behavior go the
last two nights because youre hot, but
Im not letting it go tonight. Enough
is enough, no matter how pretty you are.
I want you to pay me for your share of
(MORE)
34

ADAM (contd)
dinner, I dont care about the pre-dinner
drinks, Ill take care of that, its
like the cost of doing business.
ANA
Youre fucking nuts.
ADAM
Maybe so, but I want my money back.
ADAM (V.O.)
Was this an aggressive move by me? Yeah.
Was this necessary? No, not at all.
But in my defense, youre only seeing
the fallout from one night, like I said
there were two other nights in a row
just like this one; it got tiring by
the third night. Now I know what youre
all thinking, why the hell was I willing
to put up with this for a third night?
She was hot and, well, she said it herself earlier, she sucked dick and was
quite proficient at it. Dont judge me.
ANA
I dont have any cash on me, its all at
my apartment.
ADAM
Then Ill walk to your apartment and Ill
wait for you to get it.
ANA
You will not.
ADAM
I think Im in my rights to do so.
ANA
I dont like how youre threatening me.
ADAM
Im not threatening you.
ANA
Youre threatening me and Im scared.
35

ADAM
Im not threatening you.
Adam stands in front to stop her from walking and again
gently puts his hand on her elbow to calm her down.
ADAM (contd)
Ana, please.
ANA
Dont fucking touch me!
This is assault.
ADAM
Its not assault, Im just trying to
have a calm, adult conversation with you.
ANA
No youre not, youre threatening me
and trying to invade my apartment. You
want to trespass and thats fucked up.
ADAM
I am not.
Ana takes her iPhone out from her purse.
ANA
Im calling the cops.
ADAM
Dont be ridiculous.
ANA
Whatever, you can explain how ridiculous
I am to the cops when they get here.
ADAM
Youre not seriously going to call them,
are you?
ANA
Try me!
Ana starts dialing 9 and 1 before Adam takes off
running down the street.
ADAM (V.O.)
I didnt wait around to see if she
(MORE)
36
37
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)

actually did dial the last 1 or if she
was bluffing. I wouldnt be surprised
if she wasnt bluffing so I booked it
out of there as quick as I could and
decided to go into hiding at least for
the night.
EXT. 1ST AVENUE, IN THE 70S NIGHT
Adam takes out his phone and makes a call while hes still
running up the street but he gets frustrated after the
first few rings.
ADAM
Come on, answer the phone Mark!
Finally Mark picks up.
MARK (O.S.)
Whats up Adam?
ADAM
Mark, look, I need a place to crash.
Just a couch or something, hell Ill
even take the floor.
MARK (O.S.)
Are you kidding me? My wife is home!
And its really late.
ADAM
I think you need to start appreciating
the severity of the situation Im in
right now. Im coming over.
INT. MARKS APARTMENT
LIVING ROOM
Mark leads Adam into the room which is illuminated only by
the dull light emanating from a muted TV. Theyre speaking
in whispers so that they dont wake up Marks wife.
MARK
So she called the cops on you?
38
ADAM
I dont know, I think she did, but I
dont know. Either way, I dont want
to be in my apartment if they come
knocking.
MARK
Theyll find you eventually.
ADAM
Thats fine, Ill deal with it tomorrow,
when Im sober.
MARK
Yeah but I dont want the cops knocking
on my door. My wife will assume I did
something so shell kill me. Then once
she finds out theyre here for you,
shell kill you too.
ADAM
Relax, theres no way theyd figure out
Im here.
Mark grabs a blanket thats sitting on a chair and throws
it on the couch.
MARK
OK, well heres a blanket for you.
ADAM
Thanks man for the last second hook-up.
MARK
Just dont tell my wife tomorrow why you
had to crash here. I dont feel like
explaining the story to her ever.
ADAM
Thats no problem for me. If she asks
Ill tell her Im getting my apartment
painted.
MARK
That works.
As Mark walks out of the room, Adam sits down on the couch,
takes his shoes off and lies down as he puts the blanket
over him.

ADAM (V.O.)
Thankfully Ana was full of shit, the
cops never came by my apartmentor maybe
she did call them and they just laughed
in her face. Either way, I never did
hear from the cops, but I can tell you
who I did hear from the next day.
INT. ADAMS APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM
Adam enters his living room brushing his teeth and walks
over to grab his iPhone off an end table. He notices a
message on the screen Voicemail Ana and checks it.
Hi Jason, its
see how youre
wanted to grab
know, Id love
ANA (O.S.)
Ana, just wanted to
doing today and if you
brunch later. Let me
to see you, bye.
ADAM (V.O.)
Amazing, its like nothing happened.
I almost had to respect her nuttiness.
Im not going to lie, I was tempted to
call her back because of that. But I
decided even I couldnt put up with
her shitand I have a high threshold
for putting up with shit.
Once the voicemail is done, he deletes it then goes into
his contact list and deletes her number once and for all.
ADAM (V.O.)
It pains me to delete any girls phone
number because you never know when you
might want to see them again, especially
when youre deep into a dry spell, but
enough was enough. I just couldnt play
this game anymore. It was too taxing,
too exhausting. If I thought deleting
her number was hard, it was nothing
compared to ignoring the seven texts she
sent me every day for the next weekand
the cat memes. The fucking cat memes
that she found so damn assuming.
39

INT. ADAMS CUBE ON HIS OFFICE FLOOR
Adam is diligently working at his desk on his computer in
his cube when he gets a text from Ana.
She sent him a cat meme of a cat dressed like a taco that
says Taco Cat spelled backwards is Taco Cat and added an
LOL text.
He shakes his head incredulously upon looking at the meme
and then goes back to work.
ADAM
(to himself)
What the fuck?
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
But I did ignore them and the texts
eventually stopped. God I think miss
that crazy girl. Oh well.
INT. BOGOTA LATIN BISTRO RESTAURANT, PARK SLOPE
Adam and GABY, a light-skinned Cuban girl in her earlythirties, are sitting at a table in the middle of the
crowded restaurant having brunch.
ADAM (V.O.)
Speaking of crazies, let me introduce
you next to Gaby. She was a Miami Cuban
girl, not to be confused with Bianca
who was a New York Cuban girl, apparently
theres a big difference between the
two, I never really understood what
that was though. You might be thinking,
that Adam sure likes Cubans. And yes,
Cubans were an acquired taste that I
picked up while going to college in
Miami. But when it came to Gaby
specifically, I think it had more to
do with an unconscious desire to replace
Bianca, a sort of Cuban trade-in if you
will. Ill admit, that kind of logic
in a relationship is never a good thing.
Unfortunately in this case I think I
traded a Porsche for a Pinto.
(MORE)
40

ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
(pauses)
So what made Gaby a little crazy? Id
say for starters it was the conversation
during our fifth date. Maybe conversation
is a misleading word to use because that
would imply the discussion involved more
than one person but it really didnt.
For the most part she had this conversation
with herself as I just sat there pretty
much as an observer. I guess I was in
shock that she was actually talking
like this, on only our fifth date no
less. I know that social workers like
to psychoanalyze people all the time,
but I just hoped that shed leave her
professional diagnosis out of our personal
relationship. No such luck though and
Im sure you can tell theres nothing
good that would come from her psychoanalyzing me. So what was the conversation
about? OK, Ill live through the
awkwardness again, I guess I dont
mindthat much.
Gaby and Adam are in mid-conversation.
GABY
So I was debating with myself last night
after our last date about whether youre
a sociopath or a psychopath.
ADAM
Oh really? Thats an interesting debate
to have with yourself I guess.
GABY
Well I just want to figure out what kind
of person you are.
ADAM
And those are the only two choices?
GABY
Well when it comes to you, yes.
ADAM
Youre serious about this, arent you?
Youre not kidding?
41

ADAM (V.O.)
Oh Adam my friend, I can ensure you she
most definitely was not kidding.
GABY
Oh yes, definitely.
ADAM
I didnt even know theres a difference
between the two.
GABY
There definitely is.
ADAM
OK, so which one am I?
GABY
Tough to say actually.
ADAM
Oh, is it?
GABY
Yes, I mean there are a lot of similarities
between the two so it can be tough to
differentiate them.
ADAM
Oh really?
GABY
Yes.
ADAM
Care to enlighten me?
GABY
Like youre not really good at understanding other peoples feelings whether
its me, or your mom, or your co-workers,
or just some random person on the street
or in a restaurant and you definitely
dont share your own feelings ever.
Additionally, you have a pretty poor
sense of right and wrong, at least in
your own mind. So in those instances
you could either be a psychopath or
(MORE)
42

GABY (contd)
sociopath, but either way you do have
an antisocial personality disorder.
But then I think about whether or not
you have a conscience. A psychopath
doesnt have a conscience. If you lie
to me or steal from me you wouldnt have
any moral issues with it even though
youd probably pretend that you do.
Psychopaths are also keen observers of
people, they study others around them
and try to act just like them so that
others dont figure them out. Basically
psychopaths are full of shit and they
try really hard to have people not find
out theyre full of shit. A sociopath
on the other hand usually does have a
conscience albeit a weak one. You
might lie to me or steal from me but
youll at least know its wrong and
you might feel some guilt or remorse
but even thats not going to stop you
from behaving like that. Both psychopaths and sociopaths lack empathy, just
like you, but psychopaths have less
regard for others, they see others as
objects that they can use for their
own benefit. Neither are necessarily
violent but some can be, so the fact
that youre generally not a violent
person is pretty much a non-factor.
Thats a theory that movies and television have pushed over the decades
but its something thats vastly
overstated. For most its not about
violence but rather manipulation and
reckless behavior to get what they
want. Psychopaths can be intelligent,
charming and good at mimicking emotions
and they may pretend to be interested
in you but they probably dont actually
care at all.
ADAM (V.O.)
I really dont give a shit what shes
saying right now if Im being totally
honest.
43

GABY (contd)
Think about them being the best actor
in your high school drama class. However, sociopaths dont play along like
that. They are very straightforward
in that theyre not interested in
anyone else but themselves. They also
blame others for their shortcomings
and failures and have an endless amount
of excuses for their behavior. Simply
put, sociopaths are more hot-headed
and they act without thinking about
how others will be affected by their
actions while psychopaths are more
cold-hearted and calculating. They
carefully plot their moves and use
aggression in a planned-out way, a
means to an end, to get what they
want which is interesting when it
comes to you because Ive never met
anyone whos so calculated in everything they say. Theres not one word
that comes out of your mouth that
hasnt been carefully thought out
in your head first.
ADAM
(shakes his head up and down)
Hmmm, OK.
Adam stands up from the table.
GABY
Oh ok, youre just getting up in the
middle of our conversation?
ADAM
No, youre having a conversation, Im
just a spectator.
GABY
Regardless, its not an appropriate
time to go to the bathroom. Im not
done talking to you.
ADAM
A., Youre talking at me, not to me
and b., Im not going to the bathroom.
44

GABY
Where are you going then?
ADAM
Im leaving.
With that Adam starts walking away from the table as Gaby
turns around and yells at him.
GABY
Youre leaving now!?!
Adam replies without even turning around to face Gaby.
ADAM
Yep.
GABY
Thats so disrespectful, dont you want
to know what I think you are?
Adam turns around to look at Gaby.
ADAM
Not particularly. But if you ever get
my diagnosis written up in the New
England Journal of Medicine Ill make
sure not to read it.
GABY
Youre an asshole!
He walks back over to place a couple $20 bills on the
table.
ADAM
Youre right, sorry. Heres money for
lunch.
GABY
You mean brunch.
ADAM
No, brunch is fun and happy, lunch is
mandatory and boring. Unfortunately,
you have the uncanny ability to suck
the fun out of everything.
45
46
A YOUNG WAITER walks up to the table carrying a carafe of

mimosas to refill their glasses.
ADAM
Oh hey my man, take this.
Adam reaches into his pocket and gives him a twenty dollar
bill.
ADAM (contd)
Believe me youll deserve it.
He grabs the carafe off of the waiters tray, takes a huge
gulp from it before putting it back on the tray then turns
back around and heads to the front door for good.
GABY
So thats it?
ADAM
Yep.
Fuck you Adam!
GABY
You hear me?
Fuck you!
Adam ignores her and leaves the restaurant.

EXT. 5TH AVENUE, PARK SLOPE, OUTSIDE OF BOGOTA LATIN
BISTRO DAY
Adam puts his sunglasses on when he walks outside and
flashes a big smile as he crosses the street.
ADAM (V.O.)
Once again at some point I just had to
say enough was enough and my breaking
point was then. Look, I know Im a
little fucked up in the head. I know
Im not always playing with a full deck.
And I especially know I do some dumb,
stupid shit. But where I draw the line
is having to sit through a speech from
a girl Im dating who psychoanalyses me
at every turn and judges my every action.
Lifes too short for that, its not like
she was Miss Perfect either. I have a
basic rule in life, well I actually have
a few basic rules, but one is this:
(MORE)
47
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)

dont judge me and I wont judge you.
Pretty simple right?
(pauses)
For as looney as both Gaby and Ana were,
at least I could say that they didnt
really cause me to needlessly spend a lot
of money, unlike Aleksa. Who was Aleksa?
A spicy, Russian girl that was straight
out of central casting. Seriously, if
the new James Bond movie was looking for
a tall, sexy, seductive Russian female
to play the villain spy, shed be it.
She had the accent to boot, just like
Natasha from Rocky & Bullwinkle. So
how did she cost me money? Lets see.
INT. JFK AIRPORT, TERMINAL 7
Adam is pacing back and forth by the check-in counter while
he leaves Aleksa a voice message.
ADAM
Hey Aleksa, its me again, Adam, just
trying to find you. Our flight takes
off in less than an hour and Ive been
here waiting for you. Dont know where
you are or if youre stuck in traffic
but call me please when you get this,
or reply to one of the five text
messages Ive sent.
Adam hangs up his phone and looks up at the big Departures
board, where he focuses on the Icelandair Reykjavik flight,
then checks his watch.
ADAM
(to himself)
Fuck.
He takes his phone out and calls her again.
rings and rings until it goes to voicemail.
The phone
ALEKSA (O.S.)
Hi this Aleksa, please leave a message.
48
ADAM
(impatiently)
Hey its Adam, seriously can you give
me a call once you get this? Im afraid
were going to miss our flight and Im
not sure what to do. OK? Thanks, bye.
ADAM (V.O.)
She didnt really care about missing the
flight because she never actually bought
her ticket to begin with. So was I stood
up for an international flight by a girl
I was dating for a month? Yes, yes I
was. Maybe I shouldve vetted her for
longer than a month before deciding to
leave the country with her. What can
I say though? I like to be spontaneous.
But I guess that was kind of my fault
for not seeking visual confirmation
of her ticket but then again I didnt
think she wouldnt buy a ticket when
we discussed going to Iceland. Yeah,
its not like we were flying to North
Carolina for a quick getaway. It was
fucking Iceland.
INT. VENETIAN CASINO, LAS VEGAS
Adam and COURTNEY, a pretty brunette in her late-twenties,
are sitting at a blackjack table late at night.
ADAM (V.O.)
Keeping in the same vein of girls and
travel, lets talk about a trip that
I actually did take with a girl. This
sexy young thing is Courtney, a pretty
Irish-American girl with killer eyes.
Some would say she had the prettiest
eyes in any room she entered, unless
of course I was there too in which
case shed be knocked down to the
second prettiest eyes. Courtney had
just broken up with her longtime boyfriend when I met her at an industry
party one night. We hit it off
immediately and started dating shortly
thereafter. Well since we were both
in advertising, we knew a lot of the
(MORE)

ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
same people and dealt with the same
sort of work issues so we understood
each other very well even though I
was almost ten years older. She was
a good person for the most part, but
very flaky, she had no idea what she
wanted, at work and in life, which is
always a dangerous thing in a relationship. Her job in ad sales required her
to travel all the time so she invited
me to one of her trips out to the annual
consumer electronics show in Las Vegas.
I balked at first having attended that
show myself several times in the past
that I didnt feel like going again but
eventually I acquiesced. After all,
we originally met in Vegas so it was
almost like going back to the scene of
the crime so to speak. But regardless,
I did like her and I wanted to spend
time with her, so off we went to Vegas.
The casino area is sparsely populated since it is so late
at night. Sitting at their table are only two other
people, an OLDER WOMAN and a MAN IN HIS EARLY-FORTIES who
keeps looking over and eyeing Courtney during her
conversation with Adam.
ADAM
So whats the plan for tomorrow?
COURTNEY
Ive got to lurk around the convention
center, see if I can meet some clients
and prospective clients. My boss said
I have to take someone out to lunch, I
just have no idea who to take. I hate
this part of my job, I feel like such
a sales slut.
ADAM
I hear you, that sucks.
COURTNEY
How about you?
49

ADAM
Im just going to hit the exhibit floor
for a couple hours, check out what LG
and Samsung are doing at least. So
dinner tomorrow night?
COURTNEY
Sure, as long as my boss doesnt set up
a business dinner for us. But either
way Ill be ready for a late night drink.
ADAM
Cool.
Adam notices that he just lost another hand of blackjack.
ADAM
Damn, there goes another ten bucks.
Do you want to go back up to the room
now?
Courtney looks at her $40 in chips sitting next to her.
COURTNEY
Ummm, maybe in a little bit, Im on a
hot streak, and you know what they say.
Never leave the table on a hot streak.
ADAM
You only got $40.
COURTNEY
I started with ten though.
ADAM
OK, well Im exhausted, its been a
long day, so Im going to bed.
COURTNEY
OK.
Adam stands up and gives Courtney a quick kiss.
ADAM
Im going to pass out hard so Ill
probably just see you in the morning
when I wake up.
50

COURTNEY
OK, goodnight babe.
Adam gives Courtney another kiss before walking away.
ADAM
Goodnight.
As he walks away, the guy in his early-forties sitting on
the other side of the table sneaks over and sits next to
her, wasting no time to quickly cozy up.
GUY AT BLACKJACK TABLE
Hi there.
COURTNEY
(awkwardly)
Hello.
Hows your night going?
COURTNEY
Its good, Im winning a little.
I can see that. Very nice. Whats your
name?
COURTNEY
Courtney.
The guy shakes Courtneys hand.
Nice to meet you Courtney, Im Jon.
A COCKTAIL WAITRESS walks up behind them.
Oh, would you like a drink?
COURTNEY
Ill take a Jack on the rocks.
A bourbon girl, I like it.
(turns to the waitress)
Well take two bourbons on the rocks.
51
52
COURTNEY
Actually, not to be that person, but
Jack is a Tennessee whiskey, not a
bourbon.
Like theres a difference.
COURTNEY
There is actually.
And whats that?
COURTNEY
Tennessee whiskey is filtered through
sugar-maple charcoal, bourbon is not.
Well color me impressed.
(looks at waitress)
Well take two Jack on the rocks.
(pauses)
How do you know so much about whiskey?
COURTNEY
Because Im not a little bitch.
I respect that.
After ordering, Jon puts his arm around Courtneys shoulder
with her seemingly not even noticing.
BLACKJACK DEALER
All bets in please.
Courtney puts a chip down to bet then the dealer passes out
the cards, she gets blackjack.
Blackjack! Congratulations!
Jon gives her a hug and kiss on the cheek in celebration.
COURTNEY
Awesome, Im so happy!
53

Youre fucking awesomeand cute.
Courtney smiles while looking Jon over with his eyes.
Thanks.
COURTNEY
Youre not so bad yourself.
INT. VENETIAN HOTEL, ADAMS ROOM

The next morning, Adam wakes up in his bed. He turns to
the side and realizes that Courtney never came back so he
reaches over to grab his iPhone from the end table and rubs
his eyes before looking at the screen.
He sees that he has a text message from Courtney so he
checks it Hey sorry but I just eloped tonight with some
guy I met at the blackjack table after you left. Crazy
right?
ADAM (V.O.)
Yeah, fucking crazy. Fuck me.
INT. LAS VEGAS WEDDING CHAPEL
A photo is shown of a drunken, smiling Courtney wearing a
tiara and sash that says Newlywed while holding a bottle
of champagne.
Shes being carried by a more sober-looking Jon whos
smoking a victory cigar.
ADAM (V.O.)
Not surprisingly, Courtney began filling
out the annulment paperwork on the
flight back three days later.
(pauses)
She went into therapy shortly thereafter.
(pauses)
Speaking of counseling, Ive often thought
that maybe I should go into therapy myself
in an attempt to cure my innate ability
to do bone-headedly stupid things that
defy logic, common sense, intelligence
and decency. Stupid things like this.

INT. BROADWAY THEATER, A GENTLEMANS GUIDE TO LOVE &
MURDER
Aleksa is sitting between Adam and her MOTHER, a tiny,
elderly Russian woman, in the mezzanine section watching
the musical.
Adam leans over and whispers in her ear.
ADAM
Aleksa, do you think your moms enjoying
the show?
ADAM (V.O.)
You heard that right, this is Aleksa.
The same Aleksa that stood me up at the
airport. How did she get back into my
good graces you ask? Well after Vegas
I fell into a little bit of a funk, a
depression if you will so I decided to
text her out of the blue. Surprisingly
she answered. I figured whatever courtship stopped her from going to Iceland
with me mustve ended for her to text
me back. But I didnt care, all I
wanted was someone to hang out with.
So we hung out a couple times and thats
what led us to this night on Broadway.
I really wanted to hang out with her
but there was a roadblock. Her mom
was in town from Russia for three weeks.
So instead of going those three weeks
without seeing her and risk losing the
all-important momentum, I decided to
invite her and her mom to a show, my
treat of course. It was set up as a
lovely, nice night. And a nice night
on Broadway should endear any guy to
a girls mother and thus to the girl
herself. Lets not waste any more
time and get back to the action. So
where did we leave off? Oh yeah, here
ADAM
(whispers)
Aleksa, how do you think your moms
enjoying the show?
54
55
ALEKSA
(whispers)
Im sure shes loving it.
Adam looks over to her mother whos sleeping while her
glasses are sliding ever so slightly down her nose.
ADAM
(whispers)
Yeah, she definitely looks like shes
having fun.
Aleksa laughs when she looks over to her mother, having not
realized that she fell asleep.
ALEKSA
(whispers)
Oh dear, I guess we shouldve taken
her to a more foreign-friendly show
like Phantom or Kinky Boots.
ADAM
(whispers)
I know, I can barely understand their
British accents so I cant imagine how
difficult it is for her.
ALEKSA
(whispers)
Its not like she doesnt speak English
though.
ADAM
(whispers)
Yeah but its not her first language
either, you know what Im saying.
Adam looks over and sees the mother wake up for a moment.
ADAM
Oh, shes up!
She yawns then quickly goes back to sleep.
ADAM (contd)
And shes back down again.
Aleksa playfully slaps him on the arm.
Oh stop!
56
ALEKSA
(whispers)
Youre being silly now.
LATER ON
The show ends with a thrilling final number as the audience
stands and applauds when the cast takes their curtain call.
Aleksa elbows her mom to wake up, which she does and they
stand to join the rest of the audience in applause.
She turns to Adam as the crowd dies down.
ALEKSA
That was good, did you like it?
ADAM
Yeah I really liked it, once I got used
to the accents after the first ten
minutes.
ALEKSA
Lets drop off my mom at my place then
go out somewhere for a drink, sound
good?
Are you sure?
ADAM
Are you sure shell be OK?
ALEKSA
Yeah, shell be fine in my apartment.
ADAM
Its probably for the best, she could
use the rest.
ALEKSA
Shut it Adam.
INT. MANNYS BAR, UPPER EAST SIDE
Later on that night, Adam and Aleksa are sitting at the bar
with two pitchers in front of them. They just finished a
shot of Fireball.
ADAM (V.O.)
And just like that, a peaceful, civil
(MORE)

ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
night on Broadway turned into a drunken
mess as usual.
Adam shouts out to JEAN, the attractive bartender.
Hey Jean!
please.
ADAM
Another round of Fireball
Jean quickly shows up with a bottle of Fireball and pours

him two shots.
ADAM
One for you?
JEAN
Dont mind if I do.
ADAM
To life and Broadway!
Jean pours herself a shot as the three cheers and down
theirs. Aleksa winces after she finishes her.
After the shot, Adam pours Aleksa another beer from the
pitcher.
Aleksa, whose eyes are rather drowsy, puts her arm up to
try to stop him.
ALEKSA
Oh no, no, I cant drink anymore.
done.
Im
ADAM
Come on, just one more.
ALEKSA
(smiles)
No!
ADAM
I thought you Russians could drink!
ALEKSA
Oh, we definitely can. We can drink
you sissies under the table.
57
58
ADAM
So why not have another beer then?
Aleksa leans over and whispers something in his ear which
produces a huge grin across his face.
ADAM
Hmmm, I see what youre saying. OK,
lets roll and go back to my place
then!
Adam grabs Aleksas hand and leads her towards the exit as
she stumbles a couple times on the way out.
EXT. 89TH ST AND 2ND AVE NIGHT
Adam and Aleksa are walking down the street when she grabs
him and throws him against the trunk of a parked car.
ADAM
Whoa, I forgot how strong you are.
ALEKSA
Im Russian, were all strong, both
physically and mentally.
As Adam tries to steady himself against the back of the
car, a drunk Aleksa gets right up to his face and makes out
with him.
ADAM
I like a woman that takes control.
ALEKSA
Thats probably because American guys
are pussies.
ADAM
What?
ALEKSA
You heard me, you boys are pussies.
ADAM (V.O.)
She was nothing if not outspoken.
Aleksa takes a step back from Adam then uses her index
finger to lure him over to her.

ALEKSA
Come over here.
As soon as Adam approaches her, she grabs a hold of his
sweater and in only two rough, strong tugs manages to rip
it right off of his body.
ADAM
Whoa.
ADAM (V.O.)
I think she was a violent drunk.
Aleksa then grabs Adam by the waist and makes out with him
again.
After a few passionate moments, she pushes him away then
reaches down within his button-down shirt and manages to
rip off his undershirt after several tugs.
ADAM
Jesus Christ Im going to be naked soon.
ALEKSA
I can make that happen.
Aleksa grabs his crotch and just as shes about to unzip
his jeans Adam rips open the top two buttons of her blouse
and pulls the middle of her red bra towards him.
Although it takes him several attempts, hes finally able
to tear the bra open down the middle of the front. Her
nipples poke out of her partially ripped shirt and are
slightly visible through her unbuttoned coat.
This stuns Aleksa who pushes Adam away and slaps him.
ALEKSA
What the hell did you do?
ADAM
What?
ALEKSA
You ripped my bra off!
ADAM
I guess I got caught up in the moment.
59

ALEKSA
What kind of psycho does that?
ADAM
I thought we were role-playing! You
know, you ripped my sweater off, you
ripped my undershirt off, which was
really impressive by the way, and its
cold out and Im cold, so I thought
Id have some fun and rip your bra off.
ALEKSA
You consider that fun?
ADAM
At the time I did, maybe not anymore
now that I see how angry you are.
Aleksa looks down to see her shirt ripped.
ALEKSA
Ugh, and you ripped my shirt too?
Youre lucky my mom is in town and
can sew this.
ADAM
Im sorry, I didnt
ALEKSA
(interrupts him)
Youre an asshole.
She starts buttoning up her long winter coat.
ADAM
Oh so this is my fault?
ALEKSA
Its not my fault, I wasnt the one
who ripped open my bra.
ADAM
I was just following your lead.
ALEKSA
No, what I did was fun, what you did
was borderline assault.
60
61
ADAM
Whooaaa, hold on, lets slow down with
the assault talk shall we? We were
both just having fun! It was sensual
and downright sexual.
ALEKSA
Im not a piece of meat. God I thought
Russian men were bad but theyre nothing
compared to Americans.
ADAM
Really? Really?!?! I find that hard
to believe.
Aleksa grabs her purse from off the trunk of the car.
ALEKSA
Get lost and dont talk to me ever again.
She turns around and marches up the street while Adam
continues to stand against the back of the car, dumbfounded
with the ripped off sweater sitting around his knees and
his white t-shirt laying on the ground.
ADAM (V.O.)
And sure enough, I never talked to
Aleksa again. Its weird the twists
and turns life takes during an average
night. All I was trying to do was
take a girl and her mom out to a
Broadway show, nothing more.
(pauses)
OK so those were some bad relationship
stories over the last year but sometimes
things do go really well and I hit it
off with a nice girl right from the
beginning.
INT. YARDBIRD RESTAURANT, MIAMI BEACH
Adam is making out heavily with XILONEM, an olive-skinned
Nicaraguan young lady in her mid-twenties, over cocktails
at the bar.
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
Like this time when I was in Miami on
business and I met someone while randomly
(MORE)

ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
at a bar one night. We ended up going
out to brunch the next day and, as you
can see, three cocktails later we were
faceful of each other in the middle of
the joint.
(pauses)
But even when things seemed to be
going really wellthey tend to take
unsuspecting twists and turns.
INT. E11EVEN CLUB, MIAMI
Adam is making out with Xilonem at the bar of this adult
club while TOPLESS WOMEN swing themselves around on poles
and ropes hanging from the ceiling.
ADAM (V.O.)
Yes, were in a bizarre adult club on
our first date. Why? Because Miami,
thats why.
Xilonem leans into Adam and whispers in his ear.
XILONEM
How do you like this place?
ADAM
Its unusual, Ill give you that.
XILONEM
How so?
ADAM
I mean, its nice to see some of the
girls topless but Im not exactly sure
what theyre doing. Its not like
theyre dancing to normal strip club
music, its more like were in a
cabaret.
XILONEM
I know, right? Its so different,
thats why I love it here so much.
ADAM
It is an experience.
62
63
XILONEM
Im getting a little hammered, what do
you want to do now?
ADAM
I dont care, Im open. Ive already
changed my flight from tonight to
tomorrow morning. So Im totally free.
XILONEM
You want to get out of here?
ADAM
Sure, where do you want to go?
XILONEM
We could go back to my place but my
roommate is home, or we could
ADAM
(interrupts)
I can get another night at my hotel.
XILONEM
Are you sure?
ADAM
Yeah, its not a problem.
XILONEM
OK, lets go back to your room then.
INT. ADAMS ROOM, MAYFLOWER HOTEL, COCONUT GROVE IN MIAMI
The door opens and the two barge into the room making out
as Adam pushes her against the hallway wall and continues
kissing her.
XILONEM
(moaning)
I want to suck your dick then I want
you to fuck me all night long.
ADAM
I can do that, in fact Im looking
forward to it.
64
ADAM (V.O.)
Anyways, as I was saying, even when
things seemed to be going really well,
they had a habit of going really bad in
an instant. Everythings going great
here right? Im in right? Youre
thinking nothing can go wrong, right?
Wrong.
Xilonem grabs Adam and pushes him into the bedroom area and
onto the bed then she jumps up and straddles him.
ADAM
Youre quite aggressive.
XILONEM
When I see something I want I go for it.
Adam squeezes her ass and brings her close into him so he
can kiss her again.
XILONEM
No, you dont call the shots, I do.
Xilonem puts her hands around his neck and begins choking
Adam as she grinds on top of him.
ADAM
Kinky I like it.
In the heat of the moment, and as a natural progression,
Adam pulls the straps of her dress down to her waist
revealing her bare chest.
Xilonem freaks out and immediately jumps off the bed.
XILONEM
What the fuck bro?
ADAM
(confused)
What?
XILONEM
You think its ok to pull my dress down?
ADAM
You werent complaining in the car ride
(MORE)

ADAM (contd)
back when I was sucking on your breasts
at each red light down U.S.1.
XILONEM
That was in the car, that doesnt count.
ADAM
(sarcastically)
That makes a lot of sense. Come on,
relax baby and get back on the bed.
Adam gets up off the bed and approaches Xilonem which just
freaks her out more.
XILONEM
Stay away, just stay away from me!
She struggles to put her shoes back on as she grabs her
purse and heads for the door.
XILONEM (contd)
Im leaving.
ADAM
What?
Really?
Adam rushes over and steps between her and the door.
XILONEM
If you dont get out of my way Im
going to call the cops.
ADAM
Im just trying to figure out what
happened.
XILONEM
Youre a pervert, thats what happened.
ADAM
How am I a pervert? You were choking
me, I thought taking down your top
was a natural progression.
XILONEM
Not in my world, Im a good girl.
65
66
ADAM
Im so confused right now.
XILONEM
Let me leave or youll be in trouble.
ADAM
Trouble?
XILONEM
Yes, ever spend the night in Dade County
jail? Im sure its not a nice time.
ADAM
OK, OK, OK, calm down.
XILONEM
Let me leave, now.
Adam gets out of the way and she storms out of the room.
ADAM
(to himself)
What the fuck?
ADAM (V.O.)
I must be the only guy on earth that
can repeatedly turn an easy homerun
into a game-ending double play.
He grabs the TV remote control off an end table, jumps onto
the bed and starts flipping through the channels.
ADAM (V.O.)
Lets jump from one weekend fling to
another, this one much closer to home,
and observe what possibly couldve
been the weirdest weekend of my life
in a long line of weird weekends.
INT. SMITH & WOLLENSKYS RESTAURANT, MIDTOWN MANHATTAN
Adam and MEGAN, a cute, short woman of ambiguous ethnicity
in her mid-twenties, are sitting close together at a table
in the middle of the dining room.
They are each surrounded by four half-drank wine glasses
with steaks in front of them.
67
ADAM (V.O.)
For four days Megan and I were inseparable, our first date was Friday
lunch for Wine Week at a popular
steakhouse in Midtown. Wine Week was
exactly what you think it sounds like.
Bottomless glasses of wine that turned
into bottomless bottles as the day
progressed. And I dont know if it
was the red wine talking, or if she
was always like this in real life,
but boy did this girl open up pretty
quickly.
Theyre laughing and enjoying each others company while in
mid-conversation.
MEGAN
I tend to do anything for my boyfriends,
Im very caring and Im really loving.
For better or worse a lot of my exes
have been freaks though, absolute
freaks.
Freaks?
ADAM
(curiously)
Like how were they freaks?
MEGAN
Lets just say that one wanted me to
do something on him during sex.
ADAM
You mean to him.
MEGAN
No, on him.
Adam thinks for a few moments before speaking up.
ADAM
Wait, youd piss on him?
MEGAN
(nods her head no)
Not quite.
He thinks hard for a few more moments until the real answer
dawns on him.
Ewww, no!
ADAM
No way!
MEGAN
(nods her head yes)
Yes.
ADAM
Thats so fucking disgusting.
ADAM (V.O.)
This definitely wasnt your usual first
date conversation.
MEGAN
I told you Id do anything for my boyfriends.
ADAM
I wasnt thinking that though.
MEGAN
Hey when its love, its love and I
would do anything for love.
ADAM
But most wouldnt do that.
MEGAN
How do you know?
ADAM
No, its just a lyric from Meatloaf.
MEGAN
Whos Meatloaf?
Adam gives her an incredulous look.
ADAM (V.O.)
God damn she was young.
ADAM
Forget it, but I do think that act seems
a bit extreme.
MEGAN
Only to you.
68

ADAM
Mmmm, I think to others as well.
MEGAN
Well thats the difference between me
and others. Im not a wallflower, Im
adventurous and I love life.
ADAM
Thats what you call loving life?
MEGAN
Yes, I love life and I want to share
that love by doing whatever it takes
to make the people I care about happy.
ADAM
So your past boyfriends have been freaks.
MEGAN
Thats right.
ADAM
Well whos the bigger freak, the freak
or the one that tolerates the freak?
MEGAN
I think we all have a little bit of
freak in us.
ADAM
I dont disagree with that assessment.
Silence comes over the table for a bit as they both take a
few bites of their food.
ADAM (contd)
OK, I have so many questions though.
MEGAN
Go ahead, shoot.
ADAM
I dont know if I should.
if I want to.
I dont know
MEGAN
Its OK, my lifes an open book.
69
70
ADAM
I dont want it to be too open.
MEGAN
No, go ahead, ask me.
Adam finally shakes his head no after thinking about it for
a few moments.
ADAM
No, no, thats OK, I cant.
Megan rubs his arm seductively.
MEGAN
Aww, youre so uptight.
you to relax.
I need to get
A WAITER comes by and places a half empty bottle of wine on

the table which Adam promptly picks up and pours into their
glasses.
ADAM
OK, how about a different topic then.
MEGAN
Fine go ahead.
ADAM
Do you like to get choked?
ADAM (V.O.)
I though two could play at this game
of unusual first date conversations.
MEGAN
Depends on how suffocating itd be,
but generally yes, I dont mind it.
ADAM
Thats good.
MEGAN
Do you like to choke?
ADAM
Mmmm, its part of my repertoire.

MEGAN
(laughs)
Hmmm what else is part of your repertoire?
ADAM
(thinking)
Actually I dont think I have much of
a repertoire.
Really?
MEGAN
Youre not adventurous?
ADAM
I didnt say that but then again Im
probably not as adventurous as you.
But I do think that I introduce choking
in the bedroom, or on the couch, or in
the shower, from time to time as long
as the girl is OK with it, but honestly
I dont even remember off the top of
my head if I ever have.
MEGAN
Can I be honest with you about something?
ADAM
Sure.
MEGAN
All this talk about choking made me wet.
ADAM
It did?
Yes.
MEGAN
Not only did it, it still does.
ADAM
Nice.
Megan looks down at her tight-fitting pants.
MEGAN
And Im not wearing any panties so Im
sure my pants are wet now too.
ADAM
Youre not wearing panties?
71

MEGAN
No, I dont usually wear them.
ADAM
You dont?
MEGAN
No, I usually only wear them whenwell
you know when.
ADAM
Oh sure, sure. And youre so wet that
youre sopping through your pants
right now?
MEGAN
I wouldnt say that its sopping, but
they are wet. Here, see for yourself.
Megan directs Adam to look down at her crotch.
ADAM
I cant really tell, youre wearing
dark pants.
MEGAN
Good point.
Megan grabs Adams hand and guides it down into her crotch
where she forces him to gently rub her over her pants.
Megan closes her eyes, tilts her head back slightly and
quietly moans.
MEGAN
Ohhh, thats nice.
ADAM
Wow, you are a little wet.
MEGAN
I am.
ADAM
Well do you want me to do something more
about that?
MEGAN
No, Im fine.
72

ADAM
Why not?
MEGAN
Maybe because Im a tease.
A tease?
a tease.
ADAM
You dont seem like much of
MEGAN
Oh, but I am.

Megan grabs Adams hand from her crotch and licks his
fingers seductively while he nervously looks around to see
if anyones watching.
ADAM (V.O.)
Make no mistake, she was a tease.
Megan leans in and whispers to Adam.
MEGAN
(seductively)
Actually I do want you to do something.
ADAM
Whats that, Ill do anything.
Megan backs away as she giggles.
MEGAN
Take us to the driving range at Chelsea
Piers!
ADAM
The driving range?
ADAM (V.O.)
That wasnt exactly what I was thinking.
MEGAN
Yes, after this big meal I want to do
something active and Im really good
at golf, trust me!
ADAM
The driving range?
73
74
MEGAN
Yep!
ADAM
(smiles)
Alright, the driving range it is!
ADAM (V.O.)
So of course we went to hit golf balls
at Chelsea Piers after an afternoon of
drinking because, why not?
EXT. CHELSEA PIERS DRIVING RANGE DAY
Adam watches Megan badly shank one golf ball after another
off the tee.
ADAM (V.O.)
She was decidedly not good.
ADAM
I thought you said you could play?
MEGAN
I can. Im rusty though, and I blame
the wine. There was so much wine today.
Megan decides to change her stance by sticking her butt way
out for her next shot; Adam cant help but admire this.
ADAM
(whispers creepily to
himself)
Mmmm, Jesus Christ, tasty.
She hears him and immediately jumps out of her stance and
points her driver at Adam.
MEGAN
Hey, I heard that, dont be such a
creep!
ADAM
I cant help it, youre hot.
Megan playfully shoves the handle part of the driver in
Adams crotch then leans in and kisses him.
75
ADAM (V.O.)
The next day we had Hurricanes at
brunch
INT. INFIRMARY RESTAURANT, UPPER EAST SIDE
Adam and Megan are sitting at a table laughing with each
other as they drink large glasses of Hurricanes.
ADAM (V.O.)
Then we played pool
INT. EASTSIDE BILLIARDS, 86TH STREET
Adam lines up to hit the eight ball while Megan still has
four balls on the table. After carefully aligning his shot
he ends up sinking the eight ball but then scratching when
the cue ball goes in too.
Megan jumps around in victory.
ADAM (V.O.)
Because Im such a gentleman I let
her win by scratching on the eight
ball. I meant to do that, I swear.
INT. VICTORIAS SECRET, 86TH STREET
OUTSIDE THE DRESSING ROOM
Adam is fiddling with his iPhone as he patiently waits for
Megan.
ADAM (V.O.)
After pool, Megan decided to go next
door to try on swimsuits at Victorias
Secret. Why then? Why on that day?
I have no idea.
He receives a text from Megan as he waits so he opens it
and sees that she sent him a fully naked picture of herself
holding two different swimsuits from inside a dressing room
with the comment Adam I need help deciding which
swimsuit to buy!
Adam immediately saves the picture to his Photos which is
just one of several other naked pics of Megan that he has
of her in different settings.
76
ADAM (V.O.)
Another example of Megan being a huge
tease was her liberal stance on sending
naked selfies.
So he looks around to make sure no one is watching then
decides to walk down the dressing room hallway and quietly
knocks on the door to her room.
MEGAN (O.S.)
Come in.
DRESSING ROOM
Adam enters to see Megan facing him. Shes holding a black
swimsuit across her breasts and a pink swimsuit across her
crotch.
ADAM
Whats up?
MEGAN
(sadly)
Well I have a problem. I cant decide
if I want to buy the black swimsuit
She hands him the black swimsuit revealing her bare breasts
in the process.
MEGAN (contd)
or the pink one.
She then hands him the pink swimsuit, revealing her crotch.
ADAM (V.O.)
Youre probably thinking, awesome, the
sex with her must be amazing, Adam is
a lucky guy, right? Well amazingly I
wouldnt know. Like Ive said ever
since I met her, shes a tease.
Adam takes a moment to actually feel the texture of the
material and look at the design of each.
ADAM
I think you should get both.
77
INT. RICHARD RODGERS THEATRE, BROADWAY

Adam and Megan are sitting in the middle of a crowded
theater watching Hamilton the musical when they stand up
and give the cast a standing ovation as they take a curtain
call at the end of the show.
stand up, applaud then high-five each other right after the
Rangers score a goal.
ADAM (V.O.)
Next up on the agenda was Hamilton the
musical, you know the insanely popular
Broadway show thats sold out for over
a year in advance. So how did I get
Saturday night tickets at 3:30 in the
afternoon on the same day? Wasnt that
hard as long as youre OK to spend two
thousand dollars on Stub Hub. Two
thousand dollars for two tickets. Two
thousand dollarsand we sat in the
mezzanine.
INT. BLACKBIRDS BAR, ASTORIA, QUEENS
Adam and Megan are sitting quietly at the bar drinking
beers; they both look drunk and exhausted.
ADAM (V.O.)
Sunday was much more calm, just brunch.
Granted, it was an eight hour brunch,
but just brunch nonetheless.
ADAM
Do you want to call it a day or do
you want one more drink?
MEGAN
Its kind of the evening now.
Adam looks outside and notices that its dusk.
ADAM
Ahhh youre right, but the point still
stands though.
MEGAN
(exhausted)
Lets have one more.
78
ADAM
(sheepishly)
OK.
Adam is so tired he can barely raise his arm to get the
bartenders attention, but he finally does.
ADAM (contd)
Barkeep, another round please.
INT. LEXINGTON BRASS RESTAURANT, MIDTOWN MANHATTAN
Adam and Megan are sitting at a small table during lunch
eating soup.
ADAM (V.O.)
On the fourth day, Megan was nice
enough to come up to my work neighborhood and have lunch.
EXT. LEXINGTON AVENUE, MIDTOWN MANHATTAN RAINY DAY
As the two leave the restaurant, Megan immediately holds
her hand out and realizes its raining.
Adam, who has just opened his umbrella, hands it over to
her then kisses her before they head off in opposite
directions.
INT. TREADWELL PARK BAR, UPPER EAST SIDE
Adam and Megan are playing ping pong in the back of the bar
with Adam trying his best to teach her how to play but
shes not very good at serving or volleying.
ADAM (V.O.)
And then right after work we played
a very spirited game of ping pong for
hours. Dont worry, she eventually
got better than this. But at the end
of the day, her pool game was better
than her golf game which was better
than her ping pong game. All of them
though were subpar.
EXT. 1ST AVENUE, UPPER EAST SIDE NIGHT
The two of them are waiting at the corner of the street
when her Uber arrives.
79
MEGAN
Ill give you a call later, OK?
ADAM
Cool.
Good night.
MEGAN
Good night.
She gives Adam a long, passionate kiss before jumping in
the car. He stands there and waves as the car drives away
up the street.
ADAM (V.O.)
So all in all, a great four days,
right? Things are going great, right?
This seems to be a legitimate relationship forming, right? Not so fast my
friends.
INT. WHOLE FOODS MARKET, UPPER EAST SIDE
The next day, Adam is shopping in the meats and poultry
section of the market. Hes inspecting one package of
chicken after another when he gets a call so he answers it.
ADAM (V.O.)
I hate using the phone, like really
hate it, but sometimes its a necessary
evil when dealing with girls.
ADAM
Hey Megan, how are you doing?
MEGAN (O.S.)
Good, whats up with you?
ADAM
Nothing, just shopping at Whole Foods,
figuring out what to make for dinner.
MEGAN (O.S.)
Cool, how was your day?
ADAM
Uneventful.
MEGAN (O.S.)
How was your night last night?

ADAM
It was fine, just went out to play pool
with a friend for a little bit.
ADAM (V.O.)
To this day I have no idea why I told
the truth. The idea that the truth
shall set you free is a crock of bullshit, believe me, sometimes a little
white lie is totally fine, they can
save relationships, even budding ones.
The problem with telling the truth is
that you never know what will set a
girl off. Take this for instance,
I didnt think playing pool was a big
deal until I realized that I never
told her I was going to do that beforehandnever mind that I tried to hang
out with her on the night in question
but she never called me back. That
didnt matter at all apparently.
MEGAN (O.S.)
Wait, you went out to play pool last
night?
ADAM
Yes.
MEGAN (O.S.)
I thought you were just staying home?
I thought you were tired from work and
was just going to crash on your couch?
ADAM
I did, I slept from 6 oclock to ten,
then woke up and couldnt go back to
sleep. A friend of mine just happened
to texted me at eleven and wanted to
go out, so we went to the pool hall
for like an hour.
MEGAN (O.S.)
Funny you didnt mention that to me
this morning.
ADAM
I didnt think it was necessary.
(MORE)
80

ADAM (contd)
(thinking)
Wait, I didnt even speak to or text
you this morning?
MEGAN (O.S.)
Exactly, why dont you ever wish me a
good morning?
ADAM
I usually do.
MEGAN (O.S.)
But you didnt this morning.
ADAM
Sorry, I had to rush to work today.
MEGAN (O.S.)
Probably because you overslept because
you were out playing pool til all
hours of the night.
ADAM
No, I was literally out for only one
hour, two tops. I was in bed by 1 am.
MEGAN (O.S.)
With no good night text either.
ADAM
You know I called you twice last night
when I woke up to see if you wanted to
hang out.
MEGAN (O.S.)
I was probably busy the first time you
called and I think I was sleeping during
your second call.
ADAM
OK, so you wouldnt have seen a good
night text anyways.
MEGAN (O.S.)
But it wouldve been nice to wake up
to one, especially since I didnt get
a good morning text either.
81

ADAM
What exactly are we arguing about right
now?
MEGAN (O.S.)
Oh you dont know?
ADAM
Not really. Id like to know what your
really pissed at so I can respond
accordingly, or I can just stand here
and take it.
MEGAN (O.S.)
I just think we have two different
lifestyles, youre always fucked up
and thats not really my thing so its
not going to work.
ADAM
You bet your ass we dont have the same
kind of lifestyle. You shit on guys!
MEGAN (O.S.)
Sure, of course youre going to bring
that up. Youre so immature. I need
a man to take care of me, not a child
like yourself.
ADAM
So Im a child?
MEGAN (O.S.)
Well youre not acting like a man.
ADAM
Honestly, I have no idea whats going on.
MEGAN (O.S.)
Exactly, you just dont get it and you
never did.
With that, Megan hangs up the phone.
ADAM
Hello?
Hello?
82
83
Finally realizing that Megan hung up on him, he tries to

call her back. Her phone rings once and is then answered
by an automated message.
AUTOMATED PHONE OPERATOR
The cellular customer youve attempted
to reach is unavailable at this time.
A surprised look comes over Adams face when he realizes
that hes been blocked.
ADAM (V.O.)
And that was the last time I ever
spoke to, or heard from, Megan.
(pauses)
What a world wind weekend. Megan was
like a tornado, she left my life just
as quickly as she entered it. One
weekend and it was over, like she
didnt even exist. And to think,
I didnt even get laid for all my
trouble. Fuck Tinder.
(pauses)
Anyways Im ready to move on from this
unfortunate situation
INT. ADAMS APARTMENT, BEDROOM
BEDROOM
Its pitch black, there are no shadows or anything, so
nothing at all can be seen in the room.
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
And head right into another one.
Slurping sounds followed by the occasional moan from a male
can be heard.
ADAM (V.O.)
Those loud sucking and slurping sounds
are exactly what you think they are.
(pauses)
You might be thinking, wait how is
a blowjob an unfortunate situation?
Well, just as I was personally trying
to do in this situation, I ask you to
hold on for a few more seconds and
youll see.

The slurping sounds go on for several more seconds until
they stop abruptly.
ADAM
(whispers)
Whats up, is everything OK?
The room remains pitch dark during their conversation, so
they can only be heard and not seen at all.
BRIEANN
Im going to go.
ADAM
What?
BRIEANN
Im going to go.
I heard you.
ADAM
I just dont believe it.
BRIEANNS voice elevates in the room, insinuating that she

has stood up from the bed.
BRIEANN
Well believe it.
ADAM
Who the hell gets up and leaves right
in the middle of giving a blowjob?
BRIEANN
This girl I guess.
ADAM
Well thats very disrespectful.
BRIEANN
I dont care.
ADAM
Wheres your compassion?
me in an awful position.
BRIEANN
Blue balls?
Youve left
84

ADAM
Im a grown man, I havent gotten that
since a freshman year sorority mixer.
BRIEANN
Feel free to finish yourself off and
shoot your come out the window. There,
problem solved.
ADAM
Why are you leaving?
BRIEANN
You fell asleep.
ADAM
(incredulously)
I most certainly did not!
BRIEANN
Well I think you fell asleep.
ADAM
Why do you say that?
BRIEANN
You were snoring.
ADAM
No, I was moaning.
BRIEANN
Your moans sound like snores?
ADAM
I dont know, Im never awake when
Im snoring, but I guess they do.
BRIEANN
Likely story.
ADAM
Brieann, I swear I wasnt snoring.
BRIEANN
You were tired tonight though, you told
me that earlier.
85

ADAM
Yeah, I was tired.
BRIEANN
And you had two bottles of wine right?
ADAM
Wow, counting my bottles I see.
BRIEANN
You did have two, right?
ADAM
Yeah I had two, if youre rounding down.
BRIEANN
Cute.
ADAM
Hey, Im just being honest, I dont lie.
BRIEANN
(sarcastically)
Arent you noble.
(pauses)
So its not a surprise that youd fall
asleep.
ADAM
Not when Im getting a blowjob though!
BRIEANN
Ive never been so disrespected before
in my life.
ADAM
Im telling you the truth.
BRIEANN
Do you know where my bra is?
ADAM
I didnt even know you were wearing one.
BRIEANN
Oh very funny.
ADAM
What?
86

BRIEANN
Im sure that was a veiled reference to
my small breasts.
ADAM
No, not at all.
BRIEANN
Yeah right.
ADAM
Seriously, I didnt know you were wearing
a bra. Everything happened so quickly,
I just grabbed two handfuls of cloth
and lifted it over your head.
BRIEANN
Well I was wearing a bra, it was a
nice black one with a bow in the middle.
ADAM
Maybe its in the living room.
Adam can sense that shes heading to the door so he calls
out to stop her.
ADAM (contd)
No wait, where are you going?
BRIEANN
To the living room, to find my bra.
ADAM
Wait, dont go.
BRIEANN
Why?
ADAM
Because Im sorry.
BRIEANN
OK, what are you apologizing for?
Adam takes a moment to think of a reason but cant come up
with anything.
ADAM
I dont know actually.
87

BRIEANN
(laughs)
Ha, typical man.
ADAM
Look Brieann, I dont know what mightve
happened to you last week, or the week
before, last month, last year or in a
former life, but I dont know whats
going on and I dont know what the
hell just happened.
BRIEANN
Thats the thing, you dont even know
either.
Exactly!
tell me!
ADAM
I dont know, so why dont you
BRIEANN
Because I think you actually do know.
ADAM
You just said I didnt though.
BRIEANN
But you probably do.
ADAM
I think my head is spinning.
this keep happening to me?
Why does
BRIEANN
Its probably from the two bottles of
cheap wine.
ADAM
Hey, my wine is not cheap.
BRIEANN
Its not expensive either.
ADAM
No, its just right.
BRIEANN
Thats all I am to you, just right?
88

ADAM
No, but Im not going to break out
the expensive stuff on a Wednesday.
I save that shit for the weekends.
For primetime.
BRIEANN
There you go again, just digging yourself a deeper and deeper hole that you
can hopefully crawl into and die.
ADAM
Whoa, thats a little harsh.
BRIEANN
And so are you.
ADAM
Brieann, I really, truly, deeply, have
no idea what the hell happened and why
youre so mad.
Brieann continues dodging his questions, being more caught
up with her irrational anger than with having a real
conversation.
BRIEANN
Youre so infuriating.
ADAM
Come, why dont you sit on the bed?
BRIEANN
Why, so you can force yourself on me?
ADAM
No, I just want to talk.
BRIEANN
Im a tiny girl, you can easily do that.
ADAM
Do what?
BRIEANN
Force yourself on me.
ADAM
I dont want to do that.
89

BRIEANN
Why, Im not pretty enough to forcefully
fuck?
ADAM
What in the hell is going on right now?
BRIEANN
I dont know, you think Im ugly.
ADAM
(frustrated)
I never said that either.
BRIEANN
Im beginning to understand that you
dont know what you say and what
actions you take.
ADAM
I dont even know what to say to that.
BRIEANN
Its called taking personal responsibility.
You should grow up one day and start
practicing that.
ADAM
OK, whatever you say. So you dont want
to sit on the bed and just chat?
No.
BRIEANN
Goodbye Adam.
ADAM
So thats it?
BRIEANN
Yes.
ADAM
Well text tomorrow?
BRIEANN
Not likely.
With that, Brieann walks out of the room and closes the
door behind her. She never is ever actually seen.
90
91
ADAM
OK, just dont steal anything.
(to himself)
Alright then, time to get some sleep.
ADAM (V.O.)
That was Brieann, its best if I just
keep her in the dark, both figuratively
and literally speaking.
ADAM (V.O.)
Now sometimes things go well with a
girl but dont end up going anywhere,
literally. Take sleeping beauty over
here
INT. TOLOACHE RESTAURANT, THOMPSON ST., GREENWICH VILLAGE
Adam is casually sipping on a margarita as his date, JM, a
very pretty, slender brunette in her mid-thirties, is
passed out peacefully across from him with her head laying
on the table. A few strands of her hair are resting in a
nearby bowl of guacamole.
Luckily its late on a weeknight and the restaurant is
pretty empty so the staff doesnt really care.
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
This is JM. Not Jean Marie, not Jean,
not Marie, JM. JM was a really sweet
girl, I met her online and we texted
very briefly before she gave me her
phone number so we could plan a date.
However there was one stipulation to
setting this up, I had to call her
and ask her out. Can you believe that?
In 2016, a girl wanted me to actually
use the call option on my iPhone to
speak with her. The balls on this
girl. But whatever, I actually liked
the challenge, it kept me on my toes.
Adam is pacing back and forth, nervously rubbing his head
as he contemplates picking up his phone thats sitting on
his coffee table.
92
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)

So I did what any other adult in that
situation would do, I paced around my
apartment for a half an hour, nervously
contemplating what my opening line
will be to JM, what Im going to say
and how Im going to hold a conversation
over the phone with her for more than
four minutes. After a while I decided
to just jump into it, literally.
Without any notice, Adam jumps over his coffee table,
landing on his couch, and in one movement grabs his phone
and immediately dials JMs number. She answers after a few
rings.
JM
Hello.
ADAM
(nervously)
Hi, is this ummm, JM?
JM (O.S.)
Yes.
ADAM
Hi, this is Adam.
JM (O.S.)
Oh hey, how are you?
Im good.
bad self?
ADAM
Whats going on with your
He immediately winces realizing he already said something

stupid.
ADAM (contd)
Oh shoot.
JM (O.S.)
My bad self?
ADAM
Shoot, Im sorry. That came out wrong.
I meant to ask, how was your day?

JM (O.S.)
It was good, how was yours?
ADAM
It was stupendously lovely.
JM (O.S.)
Stupendously lovely, really?
sounds great.
That
Adam winces again after realizing he said another stupid

thing.
ADAM
Shoot, I must sound like an idiot.
JM (O.S.)
Only a little. Are you nervous?
ADAM
Only a little.
JM (O.S.)
Why?
ADAM
I dont know, I mean to be perfectly
honest its been years since Ive
actually called a girl to ask her out
on a first date.
JM (O.S.)
Really?
ADAM
Yeah, I usually do everything over
text, it seems thats how most girls
prefer it too nowadays.
JM (O.S.)
Well Im not your ordinary girl. I
guess Im a little old fashioned because
I firmly believe that if a guy wants
to go out with a girl he should man
up, call her and actually have a
conversation.
93

ADAM
I admire that.
(pauses)
So do you think Im awkward?
JM (O.S.)
(laughs)
No, your nervousness is cute.
ADAM
(smiles)
It is?
JM (O.S.)
Yes.
ADAM
Oh good.
Adam stands up and paces around while he continues talking
and laughing with JM on the phone.
ADAM (V.O.)
I felt like a power pitcher who got
immediately rattled in the first inning
by giving up back-to-back home runs
only to settle down and pitch six
scoreless innings afterwards. We
ended up talking for over thirty
minutes with only minimal awkwardness;
the amount was definitely acceptable
considering it was a first call before
the first date. She seemed like a
righteous girl even though there was
a weird feeling of formality with the
whole thing. Maybe formality is the
wrong word, but it definitely seemed
like she had a certain process for her
dating. From the amount of messages
back and forth before she gives out
her phone number, to the desire for
the guy to call her so she can further
vet them; I mean she never came out
and admitted that she was vetting
but you know thats exactly what was
happening; to the average number of
dates she goes on each week, to the
number of dates shes willing to go
(MORE)
94
95
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)

on with each guy before she makes
her decision on whether or not she
wants to continue seeing him; to the
types of dates she goes on, couple
drinks at a wine or cocktail bar.
It all seemed very managed, almost
like she was a professional online
dater. Which is fine because a lot
of people are voracious online daters
but sometimes you have to watch out
for the ones with a process. Its
almost like they take the passion
out of dating and consider it more
like a mindless assembly line of men.
You need passion in dating, without
passion what do you have?
INT. TOLOACHE RESTAURANT, THOMPSON ST., GREENWICH VILLAGE
JM is sitting sleeping with her head down on the table as
Adam continues drinking his margarita.
ADAM (V.O.)
But regardless, she sounded nice and
fun so we went out to a cool speakeasy
which was located over a Five Guys in
the West Village. We had two cocktails
over the course of three hours, we
chatted a lot, we laughed, we talked,
we laughed some more and then she got
hungry. And everyone knows when a girl
gets hungry you drop everything youre
doing and get her fed immediately.
Seriously, its like some sort of flip
is switched and women all of a sudden
turn into flesh-eating zombies when
they get hungry. Its weird to put
it mildly. So thats what led us
here for some Mexican. Everything
was going great until she had a
margarita. After that, all bets
were off. She couldnt get through
a sentence without forgetting what
she was talking about. She sat in
awkward silence sometimes even when
I asked her questions that would then
go unanswered. Her stories she told
(MORE)

ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
made no sense. It literally was like
watching the Drunk Uncle sketch on
Saturday Night Live happening right
in front of my face. The cherry on
top was when a couple sat next to us.
They couldnt be any more miserable
than they were; sat for only thirty
minutes, no cocktails, only the girl
ordered food and they didnt say one
word to each other during the entirety
of her meal. JM and I were openly
mocking them but when I tried to bring
this up twenty minutes after they left
you would have thought I had two heads.
She swore that there was never a couple
sitting next to us and that I was a
liar. Wow, I just couldnt believe it.
I mean Ive been out with girls that
got drunk before but this was downright
weird. I understand the potency of a
margarita but it was still perplexing
to me that she could get so drunk since
at the time I thought that was only
her third drink in four hours. I say
at that time because I later learned
when we left the restaurant that I was
wrong, it wasnt her third drink in
four hours. Unbeknownst to me, she
got to the first bar really early so
she decided to go to the wine bar
next door and have three quick white
wines before I met her. Really? She
couldnt divulge that information
earlier in the night? Six drinks in
five hours, especially when youre
switching between wine, cocktails and
margaritas, is a little different
than three drinks over four hours.
Which leads me to this, a public
service announcement for all the girls
out there, dont say you drink if you
cant drink. Im not saying you have
to pound ten pitchers of Harpoon beer
with me but if you drink, please at
least be able to handle a drink every
other hour. If you cant then dont
say you can drink. Dont feel the
(MORE)
96

ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
need to be a hero, its not necessary.
As always honesty is the best policy.
Without honesty, you can end up in
situations like this where youre
hugging the dinner table with your
face. And yes, I know before I touted
the virtues of little white lies.
Yes, there is always a place for
little white lies but honesty is
always better for girls. I get that
the double standard sucks, but it is
what it is. Its complicated, I know,
but so is life. The rules of life
always exist on a sliding scale of
whats right and wrong.
Adam finishes his margarita then shakes JMs arm to wake
her up.
ADAM
Hey, JM.
She doesnt wake up so he pushes her arm harder and speaks
a little louder.
ADAM
Hey JM, wake up, weve got to go.
JM finally wakes up and is all groggy.
JM
Where are we?
ADAM
At dinner.
JM
Ive got to go home.
ADAM
I think thats best.
JM
Will you get me an Uber?
ADAM
Like from my phone?
97

JM
Yeah.
ADAM
No, but Ill order one from your phone.
JM
Sorry, thats not what I meant. I
meant, ummm, I dont even know what
I meant.
Adam stands up and grabs her arm to help her.
ADAM
Come on, lets go, Ill help you up.
JM
OK, Ill order an Uber for me.
JM takes her phone out of her purse but immediately drops
it on the floor.
Just as shes about to bend down to pick it up, Adam stops
her and grabs it himself.
ADAM
Dont worry, Ill get it.
He helps her walk through the restaurant as she stumbles
into a couple of chairs.
EXT. TOLOACHE RESTAURANT, THOMPSON ST. NIGHT
Adam and JM are standing outside on the sidewalk waiting
for her Uber. Although she looks exhausted, shes a lot
more put together and coherent than she was inside.
JM
Sorry about dinner tonight, I dont
know what came over me, I can usually
handle my alcohol. But I just wanted
to let you know that I did have a good
time.
I did too.
ADAM
Youre sweet and cute.
JM
Thank you.
98
99
ADAM
Id like to take you out again. Get
to know you a little bit more, you
know, when were both a little more
sober.
JM
Id like that.
ADAM
And Im more than happy to come out to
Hoboken next time. Maybe do brunch or
something over the weekend?
JM
Id love that.
Adam sees a black car pull up to the front of the
restaurant.
ADAM
I think this is your Uber.
He walks JM over to the car and opens the door for her.
ADAM (contd)
So Ill text you tomorrow to make
plans?
JM
Sure.
ADAM
OK, good night.
Adam gives her a kiss on the cheek then she gets into the
back seat of the car.
Adam closes the door, gives her a wave then watches the car
drive off.
EXT. THOMPSON ST., GREENWICH VILLAGE NIGHT
After the car leaves, Adam turns and walks up the street by
himself.
100
ADAM (V.O.)
The problem with going out with a girl
that gets really drunk on the first
date is that if you dont hook up with
her, and she doesnt spend the night
over which also means shed spend the
morning over as well, it feels like you
almost have to start from scratch, all
over again, on the second date. I mean
how much will she actually remember
from this night? Will she remember
anything that we talked about or will
I just have to repeat myself the second
time around? Or even worse will she be
repeating herself? And will she be
embarrassed about how drunk she got?
I mean I dont really care that much,
everyone has a few too many sometimes
and maybe she had a few wines before
we met because she was nervous to meet
me and she needed to calm down. There
could be many different X-factors in
play. I dont know, it can all be very
confusing.
INT. TWO LITTLE RED HENS BAKERY, UPPER EAST SIDE
Adam is sitting at a small table inside the bakery drinking
a hot chocolate and eating a cupcake.
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
Unfortunately, and probably even
predictably, I never got the chance
to find out anyways.
His iPhone, which is sitting on the table, vibrates; its a
text from JM.
He checks it and sees that JM has responded to his last
text of Hey just wanted to say I had a great time last
night, how about Sunday brunch in your territory, Hoboken?
Her response: Sorry, I have plans this weekend.
ADAM
(to himself)
Hmmm, that was short, almost too short.
101
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)

Now Ive already learned that JM could
be very direct and to the point in her
correspondences and she puts a premium
on the number of words she uses. I
mean, if she actually is a professional
online dater it makes sense to be pithy
since theres only so many hours in the
day. But still, that terse response
is reason for concern, if were being
honest.
Adam replies back to JMs text: OK no problem, how about
sometime next week? Im pretty open any night.
He sets the phone back down on the table with the screen
opened to their text strand then goes back to drinking his
hot chocolate.
After a few moments, the reply bubble from JM pops up on
the text strand.
This causes Adam to sit up in attention. His anxiousness
grows each second that the reply bubble doesnt turn into a
text.
It seemingly goes on for an agonizing amount of time. Adam
tries to break his internal tension by having another sip
of his hot chocolate.
Finally, after many seconds, her texts come in: Ive
actually decided to take a break from dating. To be honest
its all a little too much right now. I have a ton of
travel coming up and hard time managing. I hope you
understand.
ADAM (V.O.)
And there it is, the professional online
dater brush off. I mean if you believe
that text then I have some prime swampland to sell you in New Jersey thats
totally not radioactive. Well anyway,
I guess I have to give her credit for
actually getting back to me, regardless
of the truthiness of the text. In
this day, most people would just vanish
but to her credit, she didnt. But
after hearing her tell me her theory
(MORE)

ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
of going out with a guy three times
before deciding whether or not she
wants to continue seeing him, I cant
say that a one and done date wasnt
a big blow to my ego. But whatever,
fail fast and quickly move on, thats
the name of the dating game. So I
moved on
INT. THE DISTRICT RESTAURANT, UPPER EAST SIDE
Its late at night and Adams darkly lit neighborhood bar
is populated with only a few other drunk patrons.
Adam is sitting in the corner of the bar with LISA, an
attractive but intoxicated girl in her late-twenties.
ADAM (V.O.)
There was this other girl in my life
that I hit it off with really well.
This slightly inebriated girl at the
end of the bar is Lisa. She was one
of those neighborhood bar patrons
that you end up meeting and becoming
friends with just because you share
a mutual love of alcohol. You know,
shes the girl that you silently stalk
at the bar three times a week for a
couple months until you finally muster
up enough courage to introduce yourself.
Well we eventually met, hit it off and
became 4am pizza slice buddies. As
with most things though situations
tend to evolve, sometimes in a good
way, sometimes in a bad way, but most
times in a confusing way. By now I
think you can figure out how this
situation evolved for me.
Lisa is standing up, hovering over Adam as he sits there
casually drinking his beer.
LISA
You know Adam, I really like you.
ADAM
Oh, you do?
102

LISA
Yes, like I really, really like you.
ADAM
What changed?
LISA
What do you mean?
ADAM
Well a few months ago you said youd
never consider giving me the time of
day, now a week ago we made out over
a slice of pizza and tonight youre
saying that you really like me.
LISA
Well things change. Youre a good
guy, and youre really nice to me.
I didnt necessarily know that about
you a few months ago.
ADAM
But Ive always been a good guy.
LISA
Yes, but I didnt know that though.
You can meet a lot of assholes in bars.
ADAM
Fair enough, thats true. OK, so do
you want to go out next week? Like on
a real date and not just come here to
the District again for the night?
LISA
Why do you want to ask me out on a date?
ADAM
Umm, because I thought itd be cool to
get to know you outside of this place.
LISA
Why?
ADAM
Why?
103

LISA
Yes, why?
ADAM
Ummm, because, I just,
like a cool chick that
to know better. And I
really going to happen
end of the bar here.
I mean, you seem

Id like to get
dont think thats
sitting at the
LISA
OK, so ask me.
ADAM
I thought I just did.
LISA
No you didnt, you inquired but you
didnt ask.
ADAM
Isnt that the same thing?
Adam, shut up!
LISA
Ask.
ADAM
OK, Lisa would you like to go out next
week?
LISA
And do what?
ADAM
Want to go to a Rangers game?
LISA
Hockey?
ADAM
Yes, hockey.
LISA
Oh fun, Ive never been to a hockey game.
ADAM
So does that mean yes?
104
105
LISA
Sure Id love too.
ADAM
Are you open next week?
LISA
Yeah, I dont have any plans so I
should be free whenever.
ADAM
Great, Ill text you Monday with the
details.
The next night Adam turns on his TV then sits down on his
couch. Once he gets comfortable he takes his phone out and
starts texting Lisa:
Hey Lisa, its Adam, so the game is on Wednesday night at
7:00p, Im going to get the tickets tomorrow and maybe we
can meet up for a drink beforehand.
NEXT DAY
Adam enters his living room again, turns on his TV then
sits down on his couch. After a few seconds of channel
surfing, he takes out his phone and checks his texts.
He notices that Lisa didnt text him back so he decides to
text her again:
Hey Lisa, its Adam again, Im sure you were probably
really busy yesterday since it was Monday and all, but just
wanted to let you know that I got the tickets for tomorrow.
Looking forward to it, let me know what time you want to
meet up.
INT. ADAMS CUBE ON HIS OFFICE FLOOR
The next day Adam is at his desk diligently working on his
computer when his phone lights up with a text.
Excitedly, Adam immediately grabs his phone but is quickly
let down when he sees that Mark texted him Hey, we still
on for happy hour drinks after work Friday?
106
Instead of answering Mark, he decides to open his text

strand with Lisa who still hasnt texted him back yet.
He texts her one more time: Hey again, dont mean to be a
pest but since I havent heard back from you I thought Id
text again since the game is tonight. Anyways, Ill be at
the Garden at 6:45 but let me know if you want to meet up
somewhere beforehand.
Adam puts his phone down after finishing the text and tries
to go back to work but he finds it hard to concentrate on
his Excel spreadsheet.
After a few moments, he decides to get up from his desk and
take a walk to clear his head.
LATER ON
Its the end of the work day and Adam is shutting down his
computer and getting ready to leave when his middle-aged,
well-dressed boss, VINCENT, stops by his cube.
What is this?
VINCENT
A half day Adam?
ADAM
No, I just have plans tonight. Im
going to the Garden to see the Rangers.
VINCENT
Nice. I love hockey. Are you going
with one of your boyfriends?
ADAM
(rolls eyes)
Again Vincent, Im not gay.
VINCENT
You couldve fooled me.
ADAM
I dont know how many times I have
to tell you that Im straight as a
board.
Vincent laughs then playfully punches him in the shoulder.

VINCENT
Ha, come on pal lighten up and have a
sense of humor, Im just kidding with
you.
(pauses)
No, but in all seriousness with your
kind of luck with the ladies you might
want to think about switch hitting
with the fellas, for a little while
at least.
ADAM
Nah, Im good, not really my style.
But if things continue going the way
theyre going, then in two years, who
knows.
VINCENT
Good, I think its important you set
goals for yourself.
ADAM
Im trying my best sir.
VINCENT
So, seriously, who are you going to
the game with? Some of your boys?
ADAM
No, actually I have a date.
VINCENT
Look at you, you little motherfucker.
Excellent! As much as chicks hate
watching hockey on TV they love seeing
it in person. You going with anyone
special?
ADAM
I hope so.
VINCENT
Well you have fun tonight and Ill see
you bright and early in the morning.
ADAM
Good night.
107
108
VINCENT
Dont forget, a free hockey game is
worth at least a hummer. So I expect
to hear some stories tomorrow.
ADAM
Not likely sir.
VINCENT
Ha, your incompetence with the ladies
makes me laugh.
ADAM
Glad I could be of help.
As Vincent walks away, Adam stands up to put his jacket on
and decides to take a look at his texts one more time.
Theres still no texts from Lisa.
INT. MADISON SQUARE GARDEN, NEW YORK RANGERS GAME
Having spared no expense, Adam, whos dressed in a shirt
and tie and slacks among a sea of crazy fans wearing
Rangers shirts and jerseys, is sitting peacefully on the
aisle at center ice in the 100 level. His coat is the only
thing occupying the empty seat next to him.
Hes sitting down calmly drinking his beer as the sellout
crowd goes wild around him after every bruising hit or
great pass on the ice. He looks distant, lonely and mildly
upset.
Even when the Rangers score a goal and the crowd jumps up
and goes crazy, Adam continues sitting there just drinking
his beer and checking Twitter on his phone.
EXT. THE DISTRICT RESTAURANT, FRONT SIDEWALK - NIGHT
A couple nights later, Adam is walking down the street
towards his apartment. As he heads towards The District,
he sees Lisa standing alone outside smoking a cigarette so
he decides to approach her.
ADAM
Hey Lisa.
LISA
Hey Adam, hows it going?

Adam is taken aback that she seems oblivious to the fact
that she bailed on their date.
ADAM
Ive been better.
LISA
Why, whats wrong?
ADAM
How come you didnt text me back at all
this week?
Ugh, Im sorry.
LISA
I was busy.
ADAM
Yeah but I bought the hockey tickets,
I thought you could at least text me
to say you couldnt make it.
LISA
Sorry, who did you go to the game with?
ADAM
Nobody, myself.
LISA
So you had an empty seat?
ADAM
Yep. Well not really, it was occupied
by my jacket.
LISA
Well damn Adam, thats not my fault.
I hope you dont blame me, its not
like I ever confirmed or anything,
you know what Im saying?
ADAM
I thought you confirmed when I saw
you on Saturday night?
LISA
I said Id go, but that wasnt really
a confirmation.
109

ADAM
It wasnt?
LISA
No.
ADAM
(confused)
Well then I just dont get life anymore.
LISA
Sorry, I didnt know you were actually
going to get tickets.
ADAM
You didnt? I actually wrote that in
two texts to you.
LISA
You did? I mustve I missed that.
I was reading your texts late at night,
so I guess I forgot about them in the
morning.
ADAM
But you do realize I did text you a
few times this week, right?
LISA
Yes, I guess so.
ADAM
So why didnt you at least have the
common courtesy to text me back, just
once?
LISA
(pauses)
Adam, I think youre a really great guy.
ADAM
Buttt?
LISA
But Ive decided to move to Ditmas Park
next week.
ADAM
OK, so?
110

LISA
Ditmas Park Adam.
ADAM
Again, so?
LISA
Jesus, you dont get it.
ADAM
Whats to get?
LISA
Its in Brooklyn, and not even close
Brooklyn, its far out Brooklyn, like
you need to take two subways, sometimes
three, to get there from the Upper East
Side. Like forget about using the
subway to get there on the weekends
Brooklyn.
ADAM
(confused)
OK.
LISA
My point being is that there will be
too much distance between us, it would
never work and I dont want to lead
you on.
ADAM
Yeah but we both work in midtown.
LISA
Thats work though, that doesnt matter.
ADAM
But youd at least be in Manhattan for
most of the time.
LISA
During the day, but what would I do at
night? Thats like an hour commute, at
best, between there and here.
ADAM
I get that the distance is a huge issue
but we can figure it out.
111

LISA
No, we cant. Once I move to Ditmas
Park I leave the Upper East Side behind
And that includes the bars, the
restaurants, the people, everything.
ADAM
Really?
LISA
Yes, its for the best, trust me.
ADAM
So why are you moving to Ditmas Park,
that seems a little random to go from
here to there?
LISA
Well my ex-boyfriend bought a two
bedroom out there and asked if I
wanted to rent the second room.
Its a great rate for a huge place
so I jumped at it.
ADAM
Your ex-boyfriend?
LISA
Yes, dont be jealous.
ADAM
Im not jealous, it just seems like
a weird set-up.
LISA
Its really not, I still talk to him
All the time.
ADAM
Interesting.
LISA
It is, kind of happened out of the
blue, but Im excited.
ADAM
So I guess a date is out of the question?
112
I think
looking
think I
staying
113
LISA
it is, sorry I really was
forward to the game and I
would have gone if I was
around the neighborhood.
Lisa flicks her finished cigarette into the street.

LISA (contd)
Its cold, Im going back inside.
You coming in for a drink?
ADAM
Nah, Ive got an early day tomorrow.
LISA
On a Saturday?
ADAM
Yep.
LISA
What are you doing?
ADAM
I dont know but Ill figure it out,
which is why Im going to try to get
to bed early tonight.
Lisa ignores the fact that Adam essentially just admitted
that he doesnt actually have plans in the morning.
LISA
OK, suit yourself.
Lisa heads back inside the bar while Adam heads over to his
apartment building across the street.
INT. ADAMS APARTMENT BUILDING, LOBBY
Adam enters his lobby through the revolving doors and hangs
his head down low as he passes his DOORMAN whos sitting
behind a counter.
DOORMAN
Hey player, hows it going tonight?
Adam dismissively waves his hand at the doorman.
114
ADAM
Every night is worse than the last.
DOORMAN
Bummer but just keep doin you bro and
things are bound to turn around.
ADAM
Im the only one doin me right now
and thats the problem.
DOORMAN
Come on bro, think positive.
ADAM
Whatever, Ill see you when I wake up
in two days.
ADAM (V.O.)
Dont worry, it gets worse. I failed
to mention earlier that I was casually
hooking up with a waitress from another
restaurant in the neighborhood on and
off for a few months. It was no big
deal, at least I didnt think it was
a big deal until two weeks later. It
reminded me of something a buddy of
mine once told me, dont hook up with
a girl in the service industry because
they tend to be a special breed of
crazy. Like, theyre not female crazy,
theyre crazy crazy. I shouldve
heeded his words.
EXT. -
96TH STREET SUBWAY STATION ON LEXINGTON AVE NIGHT
Adam is walking with SIOBHAN, a pretty, rail-thin woman in

her late thirties with a heavy Irish accent, towards the
subway late at night.
ADAM
Youve been quiet tonight, everything
OK? Long day at work? Shitty customers?
SIOBHAN
Are you fucking Lisa?

ADAM
(taken aback)
What?
SIOBHAN
Are you fucking Lisa?
No.
ADAM
Why do you ask?
SIOBHAN
I saw you making out with her last month
in Rays Pizza.
ADAM
So? That wasnt anything, just a kiss.
Its not like a kiss automatically leads
to sex, it barely even leads to a blowjob most of the times unfortunately.
Besides, that was last month, shes
moved to Brooklyn since then.
SIOBHAN
Do you still see her?
ADAM
No, shes in Brooklyn and Im in
Manhattan. So no, I havent seen her
since she moved.
SIOBHAN
But you made out with her.
Last month, yes.
ADAM
Why does it matter?
SIOBHAN
Because it was weird to see that.
ADAM
Why? Its not like me and you are
dating, were just hanging out.
SIOBHAN
But you have taken me out on a date
before.
ADAM
I know.
115

SIOBHAN
So I dont think you should be making
out with other girls.
ADAM
OK, I didnt know that. I didnt think
we were anything serious.
SIOBHAN
Maybe were not right now but maybe we
should find out if we could be.
ADAM
OK.
SIOBHAN
So how come you dont ask me out again?
I did!
ADAM
I asked you out the other night.
SIOBHAN
Yeah but I didnt want to see Billy Joel.
ADAM
OK, well thats just an awful thing to
say. Siobhan you have to remember youre
not in County Cork anymore, theres some
things you just dont say in this city
and expressing your contempt for Billy
is one of them.
SIOBHAN
Sorry, why dont you ask me to do something else?
ADAM
OK, you want to play pool this weekend?
SIOBHAN
This weekend? I cant do this weekend,
my sisters are visiting from Ireland.
How about next week?
ADAM
Im good with next week.
Say Tuesday?
SIOBHAN
And you promise you never fucked Lisa?
116
117
ADAM
(laughs awkwardly)
I swear, I promise, I never did.
SIOBHAN
OK, Tuesday should work then.
There are faint sounds of the subway train pulling into the
station downstairs.
ADAM
That sounds like your train.
SIOBHAN
Yeah I better make it or else Ill
be stuck for another half an hour.
Siobhan leans in and gives Adam a quick kiss on the lips
before running down the steps of the subway station.
ADAM (V.O.)
OK, so another promising situation
right? Wrong again!
EXT. THIRD AVENUE ALE HOUSE - NIGHT
Its pushing 4am on a weekend night and the street is
nearly deserted with barely a car or another pedestrian in
sight besides Adam whos approaching the bar.
ADAM (V.O.)
With no plans that weekend I decided
to Netflix and chill at home with myself
and a bottle of whiskey but by 3 oclock
in the morning I was getting a little
cabin fever so I decided to go out to
a bar down the street for a nightcap.
In retrospect, I wish I didnt.
Adam opens the door and enters.
INT. THIRD AVENUE ALE HOUSE
Once he enters, he notices that the bar only has a handful
of people sitting at it; most are older, very drunk
gentlemen who are near the point of passing out.
118
Adam looks towards the end of the bar where he sees RICHIE,
a muscular man dressed in jeans and a tight t-shirt, making
out very passionately with a lanky woman.
The guy begins kissing her neck and running his fingers
through her hair as she rubs his shaved head.
With her eyes closed, a wide grin covers her face as the
guy pushes her shirt midway up her body past her stomach
and just below her breasts. Then he cups her left breast
under her shirt but over the bra.
Adam cant tell who the girl is until she turns her head
towards him, its Siobhan.
ADAM
Motherfucker!
He turns around and leaves the establishment, slamming the
door behind him.
Siobhan quickly realizes that Adam was standing there and
immediately chases after him.
EXT. 92ND St AND 3RD AVE NIGHT
Adam walks briskly up the street with Siobhan following
behind him.
SIOBHAN
Adam, wait, I can explain.
ADAM
Thats a very weird looking sister
you have there. And is it customary
in Ireland for sisters to grab their
tits and finger fuck each other in the
bar?
SIOBHAN
Adam, stop!
Adam stops and turns to face Siobhan on the sidewalk.
ADAM
What?

SIOBHAN
I have to tell you the truth. That
guy in there is Richie. Hes a customer
at my restaurant, hes a nice guy, we
talk a lot when its slow during my
night shift. Ive gotten to know him
really well lately and weve been
hanging out the last few of weeks.
ADAM
Really?
SIOBHAN
Yes.
ADAM
The last few weeks?
SIOBHAN
Yes.
ADAM
So what the hell was all that the other
night?
SIOBHAN
What?
ADAM
You questioning me about fucking someone, who I didnt, all the while it
was you who was actually fucking someone else.
SIOBHAN
All I can say is that Im sorry.
ADAM
Youre sorry?
SIOBHAN
Yes, I really am.
ADAM
Thats all youve got to say?
Yeah, I guess.
SIOBHAN
Id say more but I
(MORE)
119
120
SIOBHAN (contd)
dont know what to say other than
Im sorry.
Adam stands there in silence for a few moments as he thinks
about what hes going to say next.
ADAM
Fuck you.
He turns back around and walks away as Siobhan slowly heads
back towards the bar where Richie is standing in the
doorway.
FLASH FORWARD TO PRESENT DAY
EXT. WHITNEY MUSEUM OF AMERICAN ART, LOWER MANHATTAN DAY
On a sunny summertime afternoon, a long line of visitors
stretches down the street and around the corner in front of
the beautifully-built museum.
ADAM (V.O.)
Which finally brings us back to present
day. Its now a little over a week
since my date walked out of the dive
bar never to be seen again by me.
But all is OK, actually things are
great right now, Im on a second date
with an extremely beautiful Latvian
woman named Agnija. Thats spelled
A-G-N-I-J-A. I had no idea how to
Pronounce it when we matched on Bumble
but luckily she goes by Aggie, which
is a much easier name to remember how
to pronounce. Anyways, back to the
girl. Shes almost too perfect; smart,
pretty, fun, cultured, intriguing and
in her mid-thirties so I shouldnt
have to worry about any bullshit or
games. And the best thing is it seems
like she likes me, like really actually
likes me, which is always at least 80%
of the battle.
121
INT. WHITNEY MUSEUM OF AMERICAN ART

FIRST FLOOR LOBBY
In contrast to the crowded sidewalk outside, Adam is
standing inside the rather quiet lobby waiting for his date
to show up.
After a few moments, his phone rings.
Agnija, he picks up.
Seeing that its
ADAM
Hi there.
AGNIJA (O.S.)
Hi Jason, its Aggie. Where are you?
Are you waiting in this long line?
It stretches all around the corner,
there must be hundreds of people
waiting. Maybe we should do something
else?
ADAM
Oh no, no, dont worry about the line.
Im in the lobby.
AGNIJA (O.S.)
You are?
ADAM
Yeah, just walk by the line and come
right into the building.
After a few seconds, he sees her stepping through the
revolving doors. AGNIJA is a tall, skinny, very beautiful
Latvian woman in her mid-thirties with long flowing red
hair and a thick Russian-like accent.
ADAM
I see you.
AGNIJA (O.S.)
Funny, I dont see you.
ADAM
Turn to your left.
As soon as Agnija gets into the lobby she turns and notices
Adam standing about twenty feet away.

AGNIJA (O.S.)
Ohhh I see you too!
ADAM
Cool. So I, ummm, Im going to hang
up the phone now since we see each
other.
Adam puts his phone away and greats Agnija with a kiss on
both cheeks.
AGNIJA
Ohhh, both cheeks!
ADAM
Yeah, Im just trying to fit in with
your culture.
AGNIJA
Im impressed. So why are there so
many people in line outside?
ADAM
Friday nights are free admission so
every cheap bastard within the five
boroughs comes out for it.
AGNIJA
So how did you get to skip the line?
ADAM
Pretty easy actually, I just told them
Id pay full price.
AGNIJA
You paid full price?
ADAM
Of course, I dont mind, I support the
artsand if you want to see some American
art then, damn it, Im going to get you
to see American art, without a line.
So thoughtful.
AGNIJA
You have the tickets?
Adam reaches into his back pocket and pulls out the
tickets.
122
123
ADAM
Right here, so lets do it.
EXHIBIT FLOOR
Adam and Agnija are looking at one painting for a few
seconds then they move to the next for a few seconds more
then another one after that.
AGNIJA
(whispers)
So what do you think of this art?
ADAM
Its nice.
AGNIJA
Nice?
Just nice.
ADAM
I dont want to sound like a stupid
American but sometimes I just dont
know what Im looking at.
AGNIJA
Yep, typical American.
ADAM
Heyyy.
AGNIJA
(laughs)
Im just kidding. But what dont you
get?
ADAM
Take this painting for instance
Adam walks over to Edward Hoppers well-known Early Sunday
Morning painting.
ADAM (contd)
Im sure all this shadowing means something and theres actually a point for
that fire hydrant and barbershop pole
to be here, but I just dont what those
reasons are. I feel like Im being shortchanged on my experience for not knowing
(MORE)

ADAM (contd)
all this. And why is the shadow cast by
the fire hydrant so big? I mean look at
how short the hydrant is and how long the
shadow is? Just doesnt make sense no
matter where the sun is positioned. And
speaking of the sun positioning, whats
up with that? I mean think about it,
the sun rises in the east and this picture
takes place on Seventh Ave. With all
the buildings in New York City, even
back then, theres no way the shadow
should be cast like that. So that
means the painter did it on purpose
for a specific reason. What specific
reason is that? I just dont know.
And whats up with this barbershop pole?
Why does it lean slightly to the left?
Last I knew these poles were pretty
sturdy so why would it lean one way
or the other? Again, something else
the painter must have done on purpose
for a reason. And again a reason I
cant explain because no ones
explaining it to us.
AGNIJA
Wow, thats all, ummm, I mean it seems
like youve thought a lot about this.
ADAM
Well art makes me think. But I wish
theyd put up a plaque next to these
paintings that explain everything going
on. Right now they just give a 30,000
foot overview, but I need a street
level summary, literally in this case.
I dont care too much about the painter,
I care about the painting. Now Im just
going to have to Wikipedia all this
shit and figure it out when I get home.
AGNIJA
Come with me.
Agnija grabs Adams hand and drags him across the exhibit
floor.
124
125
ADAM
Where are we going?
AGNIJA
Lets grab a drink on the terrace.
EXT. WHITNEY MUSEUM OF AMERICAN ART, TERRACE SUNSET
Adam and Agnija are standing on the terrace overlooking the
Meatpacking District while enjoying a glass of white wine.
ADAM
Are you enjoying yourself tonight?
AGNIJA
I am. Its a really cool museum and
the view is beautiful.
ADAM
It really is, isnt it? I think if I
squint hard enough I can see your apartment across the Hudson over in Hoboken.
AGNIJA
Ohhh stop, no you cant.
ADAM
OK probably not, but I feel like I
almost can.
(pauses)
So youre having fun?
AGNIJA
Absolutely, it helps that Im with a nice
guy who makes me laugh.
Adam mockingly wipes the non-existent sweat off of his
brow.
Phew.
ADAM
Thats a relief.
AGNIJA
I mean, dont get me wrong, youre
slightly odd a little bit. But its
endearing.

ADAM
Slightly odd?
(shakes head)
Ill take that.
AGNIJA
What do you think about me?
ADAM
Youre great.
AGNIJA
How so?
ADAM
You got everything going for you, smart,
pretty, fun with a cute accent to boot.
AGNIJA
You like my accent?
ADAM
I love it.
AGNIJA
(smiles)
Thank you.
ADAM
Youve got that saucy, sultry Eastern
European, James Bond female villain
accent going on.
AGNIJA
A villain, really?
ADAM
Oh yes, thats a compliment, like a big
one.
AGNIJA
ThanksI think.
ADAM
So do you want to do dinner after this?
AGNIJA
Id love tohow much more of the museum
do you think we havent seen yet?
126
127
ADAM
Two more floors.
Agnija looks down at her empty wine glass and notices that
Adams is empty too.
AGNIJA
Its too bad the gestapo inside wont
let us walk around with our wines.
ADAM
True that, a woman after my own heart.
AGNIJA
Shall we then?
ADAM
We shall.
Agnija starts walking towards the door as Adam walks
alongside her with his hand on her back.
INT. COLICCHIO & SONS RESTAURANT, 10TH AVENUE
Its later Friday night and Adam and Agnija are sitting at
a table in the sparsely populated formal dining room.
AGNIJA
This place is beautiful, and the menu
looked fantastic.
ADAM
Im glad you like it. It was a tough
choice, theres so many great restaurants
around here but not that many still
open and serving at 10:30. Talk about
stressful.
AGNIJA
I know, you must have gone through Open
Table eight times when we were at The
Standard.
ADAM
It was probably more like ten times.
I just wanted to make sure I picked the
perfect place for the perfect evening.

AGNIJA
Thats sweet, but after a while I was
getting concerned for you. You mustve
been trying to pick a place for twenty
minutes.
ADAM
I think you were OK with that since it
allowed you to get a second margarita.
AGNIJA
It was a good margarita, but I was close
to grabbing your phone and picking a
place myself.
ADAM
Im glad you didnt, that wouldve been
pretty emasculating for me.
The WAITER stops by to bring over a few plates of food.
COLICCHIO WAITER
Here you guys go. Do you need anything
else for the time being?
Adam looks at the dishes on the table.
ADAM
No, I think were all set.
COLICCHIO WAITER
Bon appetite then.
AGNIJA
Thank you.
As the waiter walks away, Agnija surveys the food
presentation across all the plates.
AGNIJA
Ahhh, everything looks delicious.
are you going to try first?
What
ADAM
I think Im going to do this rabbit.
Ive never had rabbit before, Im
intrigued to see what Bugs Bunny tastes
like.
128
129
AGNIJA
(confused)
Bugs Bunny?
ADAM
Yeah, the cartoon character. He was
in those old Warner Brothers cartoons
when we were growing up. Did you have
American cartoons growing up in Latvia?
AGNIJA
We did.
ADAM
Hes known for his famous saying, ehh,
whats up doc?
AGNIJA
(laughs)
Oh yeah, Bugs Bunny! I like him, he
was funny. But awww, dont equate the
delicious food in front of us with
Bugs Bunny, thats so wrong.
Sorry.
first?
ADAM
So what are you going to try
AGNIJA
I think Im going to do this beef tartare
dish.
Agnija takes a forkful and immediately lights up as soon as
she eats it.
ADAM
Its good?
Its awesome.
AGNIJA
Have a bite.
ADAM
Thats the dish with mayonnaise in it,
right?
AGNIJA
Yeah, its got some.

ADAM
No way, no how.
AGNIJA
Why not?
ADAM
Come on, you already made me eat salad
tonight, now you want me to eat something
with mayo in it? Get out of here!
AGNIJA
Theres barely any in here though and
whats in here is tasty.
ADAM
Mmmm, no thanks.
AGNIJA
You wont do it even for me?
ADAM
Ohhh, dont put it like that. I just
think the world is broken up into two
types of people, those that like mayo
and normal people. Im a normal person.
AGNIJA
So Im a weirdo?
ADAM
No, thats not what Im saying.
AGNIJA
It sounds like you are saying that though.
ADAM
(nervously)
No, I, ummm, I mean
AGNIJA
(interrupts while laughing)
Relax, Im just kidding.
Agnija grabs a hold of Adams hand over the table.
AGNIJA (contd)
How about this. If you have two bites,
Ill let you kiss me.
130
131
ADAM
Ohhh, youll let me kiss you?
AGNIJA
Yes, you can kiss me. Is that wrong?
ADAM
No, not at all.
AGNIJA
You seem perplexed though.
ADAM
I just didnt know thatd be on the table
already.
AGNIJA
Well it is the second date.
dont want to kiss me.
Unless you
ADAM
Ohh, I do, I do.
Adam grabs a fork and digs into the bowl of beef tartare.
ADAM (contd)
Let me grab some of this tartare.
He takes a bite then quickly grabs another bite before even
fully swallowing the first one.
AGNIJA
How is it?
ADAM
I must really like you.
AGNIJA
I like you too, but do you like it?
After he swallows the second time, Adam sits there and
mulls over the taste.
ADAM
Mmmm, its not that bad actually.
AGNIJA
Do you want another bite?
132
ADAM
No, but Ill take that kiss now.
AGNIJA
(smiles)
Come on over here and get it.
Adam leans over and gives Agnija a quick kiss on the lips.
AGNIJA
Thats all youve got? Why dont you
kiss me like you mean it?
ADAM
OK.
Adam leans over again and gives Agnija a longer, more
passionate kiss on the lips.
AGNIJA
Thats better.
Agnija takes a forkful of beef tartare and moves it towards
Adams face.
AGNIJA
Ill tell you what. If you have another
bite Ill let you feel my ass later.
ADAM
Well I certainly cant resist that offer.
With that, Agnija feeds him some more tartare while they
both smile at each other.
EXT. WEST 14TH STREET NIGHT
Adam and Agnija are drunkenly walking down the street armin-arm when Adam frees his arm and rubs Agnijas backside.
ADAM
You are so ridiculously hot.
AGNIJA
Thanks. But whats up with your
aggressive ass rub? I said you could
feel my ass, not beat it up like it
owes you money.
133
ADAM
(innocently)
Whats wrong with what I did?
AGNIJA
Nothing, but would you like it if I
did that to you?
Agnija puts her hand on Adams backside and exaggeratingly
rubs it to mock him even though hes perfectly OK with it.
ADAM
Yep, Im totally cool with it.
AGNIJA
Youre so bad.
ADAM
Im so bad, Im good.
AGNIJA
Now you just sound like a dork.
(points up to a sign)
Oh look, theres an Insomnia Cookies!
ADAM
You like that place?
Oh yes!
AGNIJA
Lets go in and have a cookiewich!
INT. INSOMNIA COOKIES, WEST 14TH STREET

The two walk into the store holding hands and approach the
counter as Adam looks up at the menu.
ADAM
OK, so what do we want?
AGNIJA
Cookiewich!
ADAM
I know but what kind?
AGNIJA
Whatever, you pick!
134
ADAM
So were sharing?
AGNIJA
Yes, its cute that way.
OK, I like it.
you dont like?
ADAM
So is there anything
AGNIJA
I like everything, except for oatmeal
raisin, I dont really like raisinsor
oatmeal, thats for old people.
ADAM
OK, no problem.
(looks at the server)
Can we get one double chocolate chunk
cookiewich with vanilla ice cream?
INSOMNIA COOKIES EMPLOYEE
Sure, coming right up.
Adam leads Agnija over to an empty high chair by the front
window and takes a seat.
ADAM
Only in New York can you get a freshly
made chipwich at two in the morning.
While still standing, Agnija leans over and plants a kiss
on Adam.
AGNIJA
This has been such a great night, thank
you.
ADAM
Its only going to get better, we havent
even had the chipwich yet!
AGNIJA
Theres nothing like ice cream smushed
in between two cookies.
ADAM
It really is a match made in heaven.
135
AGNIJA
Like us.
ADAM
Awww, thats so sweet.
AGNIJA
Like a cookiewich!
Adam stands up and gives Agnija a kiss.
AGNIJA
Here have a seat.
INSOMNIA COOKIES EMPLOYEE (O.S.)
Double chocolate chunk cookiewich with
vanilla ice cream.
ADAM
Thats us, Ill go grab it.
Adam walks up to the counter, grabs his cookiewich, takes a
bunch of napkins then walks back over to Agnija.
As she surveys the cookiewich, she notices all the melting
chocolate chips.
AGNIJA
Mmmm, just the way I like it, nice and
gooey.
ADAM
How do you suppose we go about eating
this?
AGNIJA
Maybe we do it like in the movie Lady &
the Tramp, you start on one side, I start
on the other and we meet in the middle?
ADAM
You really do know your cartoons.
AGNIJA
We didnt have much else to watch in
Latvia when I was growing up.
136
ADAM
I dont even know how to go about eating
this from both sides. I feel like the
ice cream will just explode out.
AGNIJA
Maybe they have a knife?
ADAM
Ill go check.
Adam walks back up to the counter and grabs a plastic knife
from a container then walks back to Agnija.
ADAM
Even with the knife I still have no
idea how to attack this.
AGNIJA
Let me try.
Agnija places the cookiewich down on the counter along the
front window and takes the knife from Adam.
ADAM
I think you just have to strike it
hard and quick and cut it down the
middle before it even knows what hit
it. Like ripping a band-aid off.
Just do it.
Agnija gives a blank stare to Adam to get him to stop
talking.
AGNIJA
Theres too many cooks in the kitchen
right now.
ADAM
Im the extra cook?
AGNIJA
Just let me do what I think I can do.
Agnija slowly puts the knife in the middle of the
cookiewich and carefully slices it perfectly down the
middle while only some of the melting ice cream squeezes
out of the sides.
137
She grabs a piece and hands it to Adam.

AGNIJA
Here you go.
ADAM
Not a bad cut, not bad at all.
Agnija takes a quick bite and then licks the ice cream and
melted chocolate off of her fingers.
ADAM
How is it?
Delicious.
AGNIJA
Here try.
Agnija offers up a piece.

ADAM
I already have my piece.
AGNIJA
Adam, I need to teach you how to be
more romantic.
Ohhh, Im sorry.
ADAM
Youre right.
Adam takes a bite of her piece.

AGNIJA
So?
Its good.
ADAM
Here, have some more.
Adam offers up a piece from his and Agnija takes a bite.

She ends up getting some of the melted chocolate from the
cookie on the side of her lips.
ADAM
(laughs)
You got some chocolate on your face.
AGNIJA
Oh yeah?
Where?
Adam points to the side of her lip.
138
ADAM
Right there.
AGNIJA
Ohhh
Agnija purposely wipes the other side of her mouth.
AGNIJA (contd)
Did I get it?
ADAM
(laughs)
No, the other side of your mouth, you
know, where I pointed to.
AGNIJA
Ohhh, why dont you just get it off
for me?
Adam leans over and licks the chocolate off of her face
then Agnija grabs his face and kisses the chocolate off his
tongue.
AGNIJA
Thats some good chocolate.
ADAM
Do you want more?
AGNIJA
Sure.
He gently puts his piece of cookiewich against her nose,
leaving some melted chocolate on its tip.
AGNIJA
What are you doing?
ADAM
Just giving you some more.
AGNIJA
Youre being silly, thats what youre
being.
Adam kisses the chocolate off her nose then kisses Agnija.
She puts her arm around his waist and brings him in for a
tight embrace as they kiss more passionately.

INT. PATH STATION, 14TH STREET
HALLWAY
Its late in the night when Adam and Agnija come dancing,
hand-in-hand, down the stairwell and into the empty
hallway.
Theyre laughing and giggling as Agnija grabs a hold of
Adams shirt and throws him against the wall to kiss him.
AGNIJA
(smiles)
Youre so silly.
ADAM
Hey, it takes two to tango.
AGNIJA
But we didnt tango, it was more like
a waltz.
ADAM
(laughs)
Its just an expression, I didnt mean
we were actually tangoing.
AGNIJA
Oh, I see.
ADAM
Come on, lets get you to the train.
AGNIJA
You dont have to wait down here with
me until my train comes, Im a big girl.
ADAM
No, when you hang out with me you get
full service. That means I wait with
you until your mode of transportation
arrives.
AGNIJA
But its 3:30 in the morning, it could
be a while until the train comes.
139
140
ADAM
Even more of a reason I should wait
with you. You never know what kind
of Jersey hooligans are waiting to go
back to Hoboken at this time of night.
The two walk down the hallway and down another set of steps
to the
TRAIN PLATFORM
Which is packed with mostly drunk revelers trying to get
back to New Jersey.
ADAM (contd)
See, just like I said. Hooligans.
Agnija looks up at a screen that shows the next train is
not arriving for a while.
AGNIJA
Fifteen minutes until the next train,
honestly you dont have to wait with
me. Its late and Im sure you just
want to go home at this point. Ill
be fine here, Im practically home.
ADAM
Nonsense, Im here to stay until you
get on that train.
AGNIJA
Youre so sweet.
ADAM
So what are we going to do for the next
fifteen minutes?
AGNIJA
(smiles)
Ive got an idea.
Agnija gently puts her hand on the side of Adams face and
pulls him in for a kiss as they lean against the wall.
SUPERIMPOSE: Fourteen Minutes Later
Adam and Agnija are still leaning against the wall making
out when a voice comes over the intercom system.

PATH TRAIN ANNOUNCER (O.S.)
The next train to Hoboken will arrive
at the station in one minute.
AGNIJA
Thats my train.
ADAM
I guess all good things must come to
an end.
AGNIJA
But theres always next time.
ADAM
Speaking of which, when do you want
to hang out again because I already
cant wait to see you?
AGNIJA
I dont know, Im pretty open next week.
ADAM
OK, I have a buddy of mine, hes in
a band and hes performing a show at
Mercury Lounge on Houston. He goes
on at seven oclock Tuesday, but he
might be such a rock star now that he
could actually go on at eight or even
eight thirty, I dont know. Anyways,
would you like to go?
AGNIJA
I love live musicand I love spending
time with you. So Id love to go.
Awesome.
ADAM
And youre a very lovely girl.
The train pulls into the station as the crowd jockeys to

get on once the doors open.
AGNIJA
Text me tomorrow and well firm up plans.
I will.
ADAM
Have a good rest of the weekend.
141
142
AGNIJA
You too.
The doors to the train open so Agnija gives Adam one more
quick kiss on the lips before she rushes through the
turnstile.
Adam shouts out to her just as shes about to board.
ADAM
Good night Aggie!
Initially startled, Agnija looks over to Adam and gives him
a wave, a wink and blows him a kiss goodbye before jumping
on the train.
Adam stands there and watches her as the train doors close
and leaves the station. He gives her one last wave goodbye
before the train disappears into the tunnel.
INT. METRO NORTH TRAIN, NEW HAVEN LINE
The next morning, while Adam rides the train up to visit
his family in Connecticut he texts Agnija:
Hey there, hope you got home OK. Just wanted to say I had
a great time with you last night, everything was perfect,
especially the company Have a good weekend and lets
discuss when you want to meet up on Tuesday.
After he sends the text he sits back in his seat and slowly
closes his eyes to take a nap.
EXT. ADAMS SISTERS HOUSE IN RURAL CONNECTICUT, BACK
PORCH - DAY
Adam is sitting at a picnic table on the back porch of his
older sisters, JILLIAN, country home with his Italian MOM,
DAD, SISTER and four-year old NEPHEW.
His brother-in-law, RICHARD, who is in his early-forties
like Jillian, walks over to the table from the grill
carrying a plate full of steaks.
RICHARD
Dinners served everyone.
He puts the plate down in the middle of the table and takes
a seat.
143
ADAMS MOM
Smells great, as always.
JILLIAN
I hope the steaks are cooked good.
RICHARD
Theyre fine.
No one wastes any time grabbing food, the ladies go
straight for the potato salad and shrimp; the guys
immediately claim their steaks all while Adams nephew,
RONALD, plays with his chicken tenders and mac and cheese.
ADAMS MOM
So Adam, hows life in the big city?
ADAM
Its good, no complaints.
ADAMS MOM
Any nice ladies in your life right now?
ADAM
I dunno.
ADAMS MOM
You dont know? Adam, youre not
getting any younger. Guys your age
should be married. Hell, most of the
guys you went to high school with have
already been married, divorced and
remarried again, with a couple kids.
ADAM
And how do you know that?
ADAMS MOM
I see their parents at the market.
ADAM
All of them?
ADAMS MOM
Yes, all of them. You know how small
our town is.
ADAMS DAD
Lay off the boy, maybe hes just gay.

ADAM
Seriously dad?
ADAMS DAD
Its fine, I hear its OK now.
ADAM
Its never not been OK, but OK.
ADAMS DAD
Hey if thats what you want to do, thats
what you want to do. Its fine.
ADAM
Wait, dont confuse my defense of gay
rights with being gay.
ADAMS DAD
Im just saying
ADAM
(interrupts)
Yeah I get what youre saying.
JILLAN
Lay off of the guy everyone, its obvious
hes still hung up on his old girlfriend,
Meredith.
(looks at Adam)
You have to let that go, that relationship was years ago.
Adam lets out a frustrated laugh.
ADAM
I cant believe this is all happening
right now.
What?
JILLIAN
Like its not true?
ADAM
Absolutely not, I havent thought of
Meredith in years. Years.
JILLIAN
Oh really?
144

ADAM
You guys dont understand how difficult
it is to date in New York City.
JILLIAN
I lived in New York.
ADAM
For like four months. That doesnt
count, especially since you were
married during that time.
JILLIAN
So since youre such a genius why
dont you explain why its so difficult
to meet a girl?
RICHARD
Ohhh, leave the guy alone to enjoy his
steak in peace.
ADAM
No, thats OK Rich, Ill address that
question. Meeting a girl is not a
problem, I meet girls all the time.
(picks up his phone)
This phone has dozens and dozens of
females numbers in it.
JILLIAN
So whats the problem then, its a
city of four million girls and you
cant find one to settle down with?
ADAM
Thats exactly the problem. Too many
options. Think about it this way,
when we were growing up back in our
small town and we wanted to go out to
dinner, the choice was rather simple
and easy to make, youd either go to
the Applebees or the Chilis. Now
imagine living in a city like New
York and you want to go out to dinner,
well now you literally have hundreds
of places to choose from. Theres
actually so many options that no one
wants to pick because theyre afraid
(MORE)
145

ADAM (contd)
of making the wrong decision. Then
when they finally decide on a place,
they end up thinking that they should
have gone to that new, sexy Brazilian
place down the street halfway through
their mediocre appetizers; not
realizing that their appetizers arent
really mediocre theyre actually pretty
damn good but they cant stop thinking
that maybe the food down the street is
better even if its not. And these
thoughts are happening even before
they have their entre, not to mention
dessert. Do you get what Im saying?
ADAMS MOM
(thinking)
No, not really.
ADAM
Everything is a mirage, even when you
think its not, it is.
(pauses)
Now is it clear?
ADAMS MOM
(confused)
Ohhkay.
ADAM
Pass the bread please.
Adam takes a roll out of the bread basket once Richard
passes it over to him.
ADAMS MOM
So you dont have a girl?
ADAM
I didnt say that.
ADAMS MOM
But you said you didnt know when I
asked you about your lady situation.
ADAM
Exactly, another confusing thing about
(MORE)
146

ADAM (contd)
dating in the city; you dont always
know where you stand with a girl youre
hanging out with. Like are you just
hanging out with a girl youre hanging
out with or are you actually dating
her? Its not always cut and dry, in
fact it rarely is.
ADAMS MOM
Jeez, thank god I dont have to deal
with that anymore.
ADAM
But you do, youre divorced now, arent
you looking to mingle?
ADAMS MOM
Yeah but guys my age dont act like that.
ADAM
(stares at her)
They all do now mom, they all do.
ADAMS MOM
Oh boy.
ADAM
Yeah, shits not easy.
Hey!
JILLIAN
Not in front of the kid.
ADAM
Sorry.
(looks at Ronald)
Ronnie, early life lesson, stuff aint
easy.
Ronald just sits there looking confusingly at Adam.
ADAMS MOM
So let me try to ask this a different
way, Adam. Is there any girl in your
life right now that has the potential
for possibly, maybe becoming something
more at some point down the road?
147

ADAM
See now thats the kind of question I
can answer. Yes, I think there might
be. In fact, if you must know, I took
a nice girl out on a second date last
night.
ADAMS MOM
(excitedly)
Oh really?!? Tell us more about her!
Do you like her?
ADAM
Awww mom, this girl is perfect, youd
love her. Shes everything Id want
in a girl. Shes so cute and adorable,
like really adorable. And nice and
polite. You know how awful my lucks
been with girls lately right? How
theyve all been so rude and inconsiderate. Not this girl though.
She would never do that to me. I
absolutely know it. Shes the real
deal.
JILLIAN
Who the hell calls a grown woman
adorable?
ADAM
(points to himself)
This guy.
JILLIAN
You call a newborn baby, a puppy,
adorable, you dont call a grown adult
adorable.
ADAM
Whatever.
ADAMS MOM
Well she sounds like the type of girl
that Id love to meet one day.
ADAM
I think youd all love her. God knows
I cant wait to see her again.
148
149
ADAMS MOM
When are you two hanging out again?
ADAM
In a few days.
ADAMS MOM
Well good luck then.
Adam takes a satisfying sip of wine before checking his
text messages.
He clicks on Agnija and looks at the strand with her
the last message is still his text from the morning, she
hasnt gotten back to him yet.
Its late Sunday night and Adam is lying in his bed in
darkness with only the TV screen providing light.
He checks his phone one last time before going to sleep;
Agnija still hasnt texted him back yet so he decides to
text her again:
Hey Aggie, hope you had a good weekend! I know you were
busy but just thought Id check in with you to see what
time you want to meet up on Tuesday. Im looking forward
to it!
EARLY NEXT MORNING
Adams alarm clock goes off precisely at 7:00 and the
rising sun peering through the bedroom window makes sure he
stays awake.
Once hes fully up, Adam immediately checks his phone but
is dismayed that Agnija still hasnt texted back.
EXT. 51ST STREET & LEXINGTON AVENUE DAY
Later that day, as Adam walks towards the 51st Street subway
station after work he takes his phone out and quickly texts
Agnija again:
Hey just wanted to check that were still on for tomorrow,
right?
150
After finishing the text he rushes down the station steps

to catch the subway.
Later that night, Adam enters his bedroom and as hes
preparing to go to bed, he decides to check his messages
one more time.
Theres still no return text from Agnija so he dejectedly
throws his iPhone down on his comforter, falls straight
down onto his bed and buries his face into his pillow.
INT. MERCURY LOUNGE ON HOUSTON ST.
Adam is standing by himself drinking a beer from a plastic
cup in the middle of the crowded venue.
Hes moving his shoulders and bobbing his head to the music
from the band on stage.
His frustrations have finally come to a head as a couple
tears trickle down his cheek, undoubtedly upset over
another date no show.
INT. BAR COASTAL, UPPER EAST SIDE
A few days later, Adam is sitting by himself at the bar
watching a sporting event on the overhead TV screen while
having a beer as he indiscriminately checks different apps
on his phone like the weather, CNN and ESPN.
He flips over to his text messaging and decides to scroll
down several names and open the strand he has with Agnija.
Agnija still hasnt responded to any of his numerous texts
since their date so, after a few seconds, he decides to
text her again:
Hey there, I got to be honest, Im not sure what happened.
I thought we had such a good time together when we went
out. Its been a week since we hung out last and Im
perplexed why I never heard back from you. Anyways, if
youd like to hang out again or at least chat, shoot me a
text.
After he finishes his text, he takes a huge gulp to finish
his beer then holds up his empty pitcher and shouts out to
the bartender.
151
ADAM
Ill take another pitcher of Bud please.
After he orders, he just sits there shaking his head with a
blank look across his face.
INT. DENNYS, DOWNTOWN MANHATTAN
Adam is having brunch with Mark and Anthony on a lazy
weekend afternoon. Mark is practically shoving multiple
bites of pancakes into his mouth.
MARK
I dont care what anybody says or
thinks but I fucking love Dennys.
ADAM
You know what? I think Im just
going to start invoicing chicks after
the fact the next time I pay for a
date.
Invoicing?
MARK
Really?
ANTHONY
Yeah because that worked out so well
with that Swedish chick, right? What
was her name, Apple?
MARK
Abbie?
ANTHONY
Aggie?
MARK
No, Aggie was the Latvian that ghosted
him.
ANTHONY
Swedish, Latvian, whats the difference?
MARK
Adam is really like the United Nations
of dating, isnt he?

ADAM
Her name was Ana. But no, Im talking
about something totally different this
time. Moving forward if I take a girl
out and it goes well but I never hear
from her again even after trying to
contact her multiple times, I will
send her an invoice.
MARK
And what if she doesnt pay? Which
is whats going to happen because if
she doesnt respond to a simple hi,
how you I enjoyed our night out together
text, she definitely wont respond to
a text asking her for money.
ANTHONY
And if she does respond, it wont be
pretty.
MARK
Yes, expect a lot of go fuck yourselfs
mixed with a few drop dead losers.
ADAM
Ill threaten her with a lawsuit then.
A lawsuit?
MARK
Really?
ADAM
Yes. I had jury duty last year so I
know the ins and outs of our justice
system.
ANTHONY
So you know then that wouldnt be a
legally binding document, right?
ADAM
I dont care.
MARK
Youre nuts, I dont think youre all
there in the head.
ADAM
Why?
152

ANTHONY
Adam, if this is such an issue for you,
why dont you just split the check with
the girl whenever you go out?
ADAM
Because thats just rude and cheap, at
least on the first and second date.
MARK
And invoicing a girl afterwards isnt?
ADAM
What are you guys not getting? I mean
am I living alone on the island of Adam
right now?
MARK
I think you are, and its a place I
have no interest in ever visiting.
ADAM
You guys say youre my friends, but I
need Wilsons on my island and right
now I dont have any.
MARK
Shut the fuck up Adam.
ANTHONY
Adam, you said you dont want to be
cheap but youre sounding pretty cheap
right now.
MARK
You really are.
ADAM
Let me be perfectly clear, I have no
problems, no problem, with picking up
a dinner check or paying for bowling,
or buying a girl an ice cream cone
while on a date. But I expect something in return.
MARK
To get laid?
153

ANTHONY
Or a handjob at least?
ADAM
(frustrated)
No, no, nothing like that, its something simple really. I only expect
respect in return. Its almost like
an unwritten, unspoken contract, if
I pick up the check you should not
ignore me when I follow up the next
day, whether its through text or
over the phone. Thats all, thats
all I want. I call you, you call me
back. I text you, you text me back.
MARK
You know what your other problem is?
ADAM
No, but Im sure youre going to tell me.
MARK
You date your hook-ups.
ADAM
And thats a problem?
MARK
Hell yes.
ADAM
Whys that such a problem?
MARK
Because hook-ups are just that, hookups. Theyre best to remain hit it
and quit its. Youre muddying the
waters otherwise, mixing up the buckets,
thats no good.
ADAM
Sometimes I like my hook-ups though.
I know that sounds so crazy.
MARK
Theres plenty of other women in this
city, you should like them instead.
154

ADAM
I dont always have the choice, a lot
of them dont like me back.
MARK
Thats because youre spending too
much time focused on your hook-ups,
you have the wrong priorities.
ADAM
Look, hook-ups or not, however you
want to classify any of the girls in
my life, I just want a text back if I
text them.
ANTHONY
Adam, Im not disagreeing with you,
but thats not really how a lot of
people operate these days.
MARK
Yeah, especially Millennials.
ANTHONY
And you do like to date younger. But
therein lies the issue, with all this
technology around, its easier than
ever for someone to disappear from
somebodys life. I think even the New
York Times wrote an article about the
ghosting phenomenon.
MARK
Were not saying its right, hell its
pretty fucking shitty, but it does
happen. People in this day and age
dont want confrontation in their
personal lives and this on-demand
society makes it easy for someone to
just move from one person to another
with no repercussions.
ADAM
What about a little common courtesy?
ANTHONY
What about it? These kids dont give
a shit about common courtesy, its just
(MORE)
155

ANTHONY (contd)
about me, me, me, me, me. If courtesy
doesnt serve their best interests, or
it makes them do something they dont
want to do, then they could give a damn
about it. They say fuck courtesy.
MARK
See, these Millennials outwardly like
to pretend that theyre the most caring
and thoughtful generation ever, theyre
all social justice warriors on Twitter,
protesting and being outraged over every
little thing they perceive wronged someone in society when in fact theyre the
most selfish, self-centered little fucks
ever.
ADAM
Not just young people are like this,
the girls my age that I date are pretty
narcissistic as well.
MARK
Well the Millennials are rubbing off on
them too.
ANTHONY
You also have to think, if youre dating
girls your age, that means theyre single.
ADAM
Yep, nothing gets by you does it Anthony?
ANTHONY
My point is that a girl your age should
be engaged or married; basically she
should really have a man already locked
down.
ADAM
Now you sound like my mom.
MARK
(interrupts Anthony)
Or she should be divorced.
156

ANTHONY
Yes, or divorced. So if shes single,
there might be other issues at play
than just narcissism.
ADAM
Like what?
MARK
Shes batshit crazy.
ANTHONY
Yes, shes batshit crazy.
ADAM
You guys are idiots and I dont totally
agree with that. This is New York City,
this city is designed to keep people
single.
ANTHONY
That might be true to a certain extent,
but not when youre a woman in your
late-thirties.
MARK
Theres something called a biological
clock Adam and its ticking louder and
louder for those women.
ADAM
Yes, yes, I know about the biological
clock, I took Anatomy back in high
school.
MARK
Good so you know all about it, and you
know its power and you know its real.
ADAM
(sarcastically)
Im glad that you two idiots have
figured out women as well as you have.
ANTHONY
You might think were fucking around,
but its the truth. Trust us.
157
158
MARK
We are both married after all and we
both lived in the city when we met
our wives.
ADAM
But you guys dont even love your wives.
MARK
What? I love my wife.
Mark emphatically repeats himself seemingly in an effort to
convince himself more so than Adam.
MARK (contd)
I LOVE MY WIFE!
ADAM
Spoken like someone whos trying to
convince themselves that they actually
love their wife.
MARK
I do.
ADAM
(dismissively)
OK, whatever floats your boat bro, but
just know I think youre both idiots.
ANTHONY
Whatever, suit yourself, but when you
sit around later wondering why nothing
ever changes in your lady life, it
might be wise to remember our words.
ADAM
But youre not saying anything.
not offering any solutions.
Youre
MARK
Ohh, we arent, are we?
ADAM
So if Millennials suck and girls my
age suck, and I dont want to date
anyone older because I would like to
have my own kid one day, where does
that leave me then?

Anthony sits there thinking for a few moments before
finally speaking up.
ANTHONY
Hmmm, good question. Maybe you are
fucked after all.
Mark chuckles in between taking a couple of bites of his
pancake meal.
MARK
Have fun dying alone.
Thanks dick.
thing out.
ADAM
Whatever, Ill figure someANTHONY
You will?
ADAM
Yeah I will.
ANTHONY
Like what?
ADAM
Dont you worry, Ive got some options
that Im thinking about.
MARK
Hold on, wait a minute.
ADAM
What?
MARK
I know this situation all too well.
ADAM
What are you talking about?
MARK
Youre going to email Bianca, arent you?
Anthony immediately rolls his eyes, holds up an empty
carafe of mimosas and shouts out to the waitress.
159

ANTHONY
Waitress! Another carafe of mimosas
pronto! Make that two!
MARK
Fuck it, make it three.
ADAM
Whats wrong with me contacting Bianca?
MARK
Do you ever listen to any of the words
that come out of our mouths ever?
ADAM
No, not really.
MARK
I can tell.
ADAM
Whats wrong with me emailing her?
ANTHONY
Because youre a fucking moron if you
do, hows that for starters?
ADAM
How does that make me a fucking moron?
MARK
(incredulously)
How does it not?
ANTHONY
Adam, youre just setting yourself up
for heartbreak again if you contact her.
MARK
And this would be, what, the fifth or
sixth time?
ADAM
Whys that?
ANTHONY
Because it never works out. You guys
might hang out a few times then it
fizzles
160

MARK
(interrupts)
Again.
ANTHONY (contd)
Or worse, she might not even get back
to you, which just ends up preoccupying
your time and destroying your selfesteem.
The waitress drops off three carafes of mimosas and, in
frustration, Mark immediately picks one up and starts
drinking directly from it.
MARK
See Adam, this is what you make me do.
You make me drinka lot.
ADAM
OK fine, I wont contact her.
ANTHONY
Bullshit, of course you will.
ADAM
I wont.
MARK
Prove it.
ADAM
OK, how should I prove it.
MARK
Lets bet.
OK fine.
ADAM
Whats the bet?
MARK
If you contact Bianca again, you owe
me and Anthony a steak dinner.
ADAM
And she doesnt have to respond back?
Its just about me doing the act of
reaching out to her?
161

MARK
Thats correct.
ADAM
What if she contacts me first and I
reply back to her?
ANTHONY
Not going to happen.
ADAM
But lets be crazy for a second and say
it does happen.
MARK
Then you dont lose. If she contacts
you first, its fair for you to respond
back to her, even though wed strongly
advise against it.
ADAM
So the bet is if I ever contact her
again, ever, I lose?
MARK
Yes.
ADAM
So if its a bet in perpetuity, how the
hell would I ever have a shot to win?
MARK
Hey, if you dont want to take the bet
you dont have to take the bet.
ANTHONY
Youd just look like a little bitch
though.
ADAM
No, no, no, Ill take the bet. What
the hell, Im confident enough in my
willpower and my internal strength to
not talk to her, especially since money
is on the line.
ANTHONY
How are we going to prove this?
(MORE)
Are
162
163
ANTHONY (contd)
we going to log onto his email every
night to check his sent messages and
trash? Spot check his texts?
MARK
No, I think we can do the honor system.
I trust him to tell us the truth if he
does it. He has a shitty poker face
and has the complete inability to hide
anything from us. Hes too much of a
pussy to lie to us anyways.
ANTHONY
Yeah, thats fine with me.
(looks at Adam)
Good with you?
ADAM
Bring it bastards.
MARK
OK, lets shake on it.
All three of them pick up a carafe of mimosas, clink them
together as their way of shaking on the bet and take a big
gulp.
ANTHONY
This will be the easiest free dinner
Ive ever gotten.
ADAM
OK, you wait and see; I have a feeling
Im going to surprise you both.
Later that night, Adam is sitting in bed writing an email
to Bianca on his laptop.
ADAM (V.O.)
So I held out for nine hours from the
time I made the bet. Truth be told, I
actually held out longer than I thought
I would. And yes, if I actually do
send this email, Ill let the boys know
tomorrow that I did. Im a man of my
(MORE)
164
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)

word.
(pauses)
I had a different plan this time around.
Ive learned from the past that long,
drawn out pieces that try to tug on the
heartstrings and get overly emotional
dont really work. So now Im going
to use the KISS method, keep it short
and simple.
Adam types the following email, Just thought Id say hi,
hopefully we get the chance to chat again one of these
days. Hope all is well Bianca.
He sends it immediately without giving himself the chance
to re-think anything. Once its sent he closes his laptop,
places it on his nightstand and goes back to watching TV.
INT. GOLF SIMULATOR, CHELSEA PIERS NYC
Adam, Anthony, Mark and Marks younger brother, BRETT,
whos in his late-twenties, are playing a round in the golf
simulator.
Brett is currently up at the tee while the other three are
standing in a circle behind him having a conversation.
MARK
Man, you couldnt even hold out for one
day!?!?
ADAM
What can I say, Im a weak man.
ANTHONY
I told you itd be the easiest free dinner
wed ever get.
ADAM
And you will get a free steak dinner.
MARK
I might order two steaks just to teach
you a lesson.
ANTHONY
And the seafood tower is a must.
165
MARK
Along with the ice cream sundae for
dessert, because, after all, a steakhouse is the only place you can look
manly eating a damn ice cream sundae.
ADAM
OK, I deserve it, I deserve all of it.
While the three of them talk, Brett is preparing to hit the
ball off the tee with his driver.
He breaks out into a curse-filled tirade after he swings
and whiffs on the ball.
BRETT
(loudly to himself)
Fuck motherfucker, asshole bitch,
cocksucker, just hit the fucking ball.
Its not that hard, heres my driver,
heres the ball.
The three ignore his outbreak, no doubt because theyve
heard him do this countless times before, and continue
conversing.
MARK
What happened to all that iron will
and internal strength that you were
talking about the other day?
ADAM
Oh, I lied about that.
MARK
Of course you did.
ANTHONY
So did she get back to you?
ADAM
No, not yet.
ANTHONY
What did you say in the email?
MARK
Oh god, dont tell me you did an Adam
(MORE)
special.
that.
166
MARK (contd)
Please dont tell me you did
ADAM
(laughs)
Whats an Adam special?
ANTHONY
Its an email when you go on and on
for pages and pages, professing your
love to someone. You think youre
doing something nice and sweet but its
usually just the opposite where you
end up digging a bigger hole for yourself and generally come off looking as
a creepy, stalker-type of weirdo.
ADAM
No I dont, do I?
Adam looks over to Mark who shakes his head yes.
ADAM
Well I dont think I look that creepy.
MARK
Really you dont?
ADAM
No, you dont know what I write. It
sounds a lot worse than it actually is.
Im like a poet when I write.
ANTHONY
I guess thats why that one girl told
you never to contact her again after
receiving one of your infamous tomes.
ADAM
That was a misunderstanding.
Brett takes another swing, he connects this time but shanks
it. The ball goes out of bounds and only about fifty yards
from the tee.
BRETT
Fuck!

MARK
Not doing so good over there?
BRETT
Why the hell did we have to play St.
Andrews? This course is too damn hard.
ADAM
The course has nothing to do it, you
just fucking suck.
BRETT
Shut up Adam, no one asked you.
ADAM
But you do fucking suck.
Whatever.
BRETT
Whos turn is it?
Go.
ANTHONY
Still yours dickhead, you only hit it
forty-eight yards.
BRETT
I shouldve taken a mulligan.
ANTHONY
You only get one per nine holes. You
should probably hold yours for a hole
when your drive doesnt even make it
to the ladies tee.
BRETT
Screw you! What is it, pick on Brett
day on the golf course?
MARK
Just shut up and take your shot.
(looks at Adam and Anthony)
Sorry about my kid brother, he can be
an ass sometimes.
ANTHONY
(laughs)
Nah, its all good. Hes a good kid,
its fun messing with him.
167

ADAM
Yeah and he makes us laugh and feel
better about ourselves.
ANTHONY
So what did you write?
ADAM
Not a lot, I kept it brief. Only one
sentence, two at most. You know, Hows
it going, hope all is well, Id love
to chat one day.
MARK
Sounds a little desperate.
ADAM
Ahhh, maybe, but I dont care anymore.
If it sounds desperate, so be it.
ANTHONY
Girls dont like desperate guys though.
ADAM
Whatever. Girls dont like this, girls
dont like that. Its all confusing,
so Im just going to be me.
MARK
Good luck with that.
ANTHONY
So when exactly did you email her?
ADAM
This morning at 1am.
ANTHONY
OK, so wasnt that long ago, you still
have time.
MARK
Bullshit.
ADAM
Why is it bullshit?
168

MARK
If she really wanted to reply to you,
she wouldve done it by now.
ADAM
Why do you say that? Maybe shes just
playing it cool?
MARK
Not likely.
ADAM
And why not?
MARK
Because if a girl likes a guy, or if a
girl even wants to talk to a guy, shes
not going to dick around and waste time,
especially if that guy has already made
the first move.
ADAM
How do you know shes not still sleeping?
MARK
Because its the afternoon and shes
not a teenager.
ADAM
Well how do you know shes not busy?
MARK
That goes back to my point. Being busy
is a bullshit excuse, it always has been
and it always will be. Even if you are
truly busy, a girl will always make time
to speak to a guy, to email him back, if
theyre the least bit interested in him.
Theres no such thing as busy for a girl
when it involves being pursued by a guy.
Thats just a fact.
(shakes head)
Maybe shes busy? Ha.
Brett hits another bad shot and throws his golf club down
in anger as he walks out of the simulator.
169
170
BRETT
Thats it, I hate this damn game.
Im done playing.
MARK
No youre not.
BRETT
OK, well Im going to go grab myself
another beer and shot at least to calm
down.
As Brett leaves the around, Mark grabs one of his irons and
goes up to the tee area.
ADAM
So you think thats it, between me and
Bianca?
MARK
Who knows anymore but Im going to tell
you that it doesnt look promising.
After a couple practice swings, Mark hits a near perfect
shot into the screen that is projected to go about 150
yards; it lands on the green.
Mark turns to Adam and Anthony after his shot and takes a
bow.
MARK
And that my friends is how you play
St. Andrews.
ANTHONY
Nice shot.
MARK
Fuck you that was a nice shot, it was
a thing of beauty. Like a fucking
Picasso hitting the simulation screen.
ANTHONY
OK, calm down there Nicklaus.
MARK
So are you going to finally give up on
Bianca when you dont hear back from
her?
171
BIANCA
I guess I should, right?
MARK
Thats what I like to hear, theres
plenty of other fish in the sea.
ANTHONY
Yeah right, you know hes not.
No way.
ADAM
No, its OK, Im still holding out
hope for Aggie. Maybe shell get back
to me when shes not too busy.
Mark and Anthony collectively roll their eyes together.
During the next weekend Adam quietly lays on his couch as
he looks through his recent text messages.
ADAM (V.O.)
Its been two weeks since Ive heard
from Aggie and one week since I emailed
Bianca. Unfortunately its been radio
silence on both fronts. I never even
spoke to Aggie since our last date and
Bianca still hasnt replied to my latest
email.
He decides to open the Agnija strand even though he knows
she still hasnt texted him back. The strand is filled
with one-sided communication, a bunch of texts from him
with no replies.
ADAM (V.O.)
I guess I have to come to the realization
that Im never going to hear from her
again. Thats too bad, I liked her.
Once he re-confirms that she hasnt texted back, Adam opens
up his Gmail to see that Bianca still hasnt gotten back to
him either.
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
And I guess I also have to come to the
realization that I may never hear from
(MORE)
172
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)

Bianca again either. Thats too bad,
I really like her.
After a quick check of his Gmail, Adam opens his OKCupid
app.
He sees that no one new has visited him or liked him so he
closes the app and opens his browser where he types in
match.com.
ADAM (V.O.)
I really hate sites like Match, but
sometimes they feel a little like a
necessary evil. You spend so much time
and effort trying to write the perfect
profile with equal parts wit and
sincerity that makes you sound
interesting, or at least interesting
enough to have girls take notice.
Then you spend just as much time
taking the hundreds of selfies and
picking the five or six that dont
make you look like a complete jackass.
But thats the least of things, take
all that time you spend on your own
profile and multiple it by 10, 20, 50,
100 times and thats what you spend
reading other peoples profiles. And
it doesnt take long to realize that
everyones profile sounds the same;
everyone loves to travel and everyone
loves their friends and family,
especially their cute little nephew,
gee how original; its tough to write
a customized email to someone when they
all say the same thing. So you end up
putting so much time and energy into
writing an original email, trying to
tease one interesting detail out of an
otherwise generic profile. An original
email thats good enough to stand out
from the countless other emails that
girls receive from guys on a daily
basis. Remember, online platforms
are the wild, wild west of dating;
theoretically Im competing with 19
year kids, 60 year old retirees and
(MORE)
173
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)

pseudo-happily married men. So you
spend all this time creating your
profile, you spend an exponential
amount of time reading and responding
to profiles then, a lot more often
than notnothing at all. Seems like
a lot of wasted time and energy. See,
thats what a lot of people who rip
on and dismiss the swipe right, swipe
left dating apps dont seem to fully
grasp. If theres going to be a lack
of results regardless of what platform
you use, you might as well make the usage
much more efficient, and you cant get
any more efficient than the automatic
machine gun-style of online dating,
swiping left and swiping right.
Once on the website he sees that no one new has viewed him.
Then he checks his sent messages and sees a list of over
thirty emails hes recently sent, after that he goes into
his received messages where theres not one email. No one
has responded to him.
ADAM (V.O.)
These certainly are dark days.
Slightly distraught, he closes his browser and sits there
thinking for a moment. After hes done thinking, he opens
his Facebook app and searches for Biancas profile.
She has a partially private page, so hes able to scroll
through a few pictures once hes on it. He sees her having
fun at a music festival, at a football game and on a boat.
He realizes hes beating himself up for no reason so he
gets off Facebook and opens his online dating app,
Bumble, to swipe through female profiles. He swipes
right on every profile but isnt matching with anyone.
His facial expressions gradually go from optimism to
sadness the longer he swipes without getting any matches.
After a while he gets a message on the app that says,
Looks like youre out of peoplecheck back soon or invite
some friends!
174
Depressed but undeterred, Adam opens up his Tinder app and

starts swiping right on every profile he sees. Just like
with Bumble, hes not matching with anyone.
After a while he gets a message that says, Youre out of
likes, get more likes in 12 hours. Get unlimited likes
with Tinder Plus for $9.99/month.
ADAM
(to himself)
No one? No one in this city of eight
million wants to match with me? Theres
not one chick out there saying to themselves, hmm, I wouldnt mind at least
having a conversation with this guy?
Talk about a kick in the dick to the
ego. Screw this shit. I guess I suck
for not having pictures where Im
petting a drugged-up tiger, or climbing
Macchu Pichu, or taking a shirtless
bathroom selfie with a hard on in my
boxers. Its true, romance is dead.
I know all it takes is one to change
your life, but I cant find any.
(pauses)
Talk about being at the depths of despair.
This is it, right here, this is the
lowest of the low.
Frustrated, Adam tosses his phone to the other side of the
couch and lays there just watching Bar Rescue on Spike.
EXT. OBSERVATION DECK, ROCKEFELLER CENTER - NIGHT
Dejected and feeling utterly helpless and hopeless, Adam
walks out onto the sparsely populated observation deck late
at night.
He heads over to a railing and looks out over the brightlylit city and Central Park.
Next he raises his arms almost in defeat and shouts out.
ADAM
Ugh! You win New York City!
happy?!? You won!
Are you
A curious SECURITY GUARD approaches Adam.
175
30 ROCK SECURITY GUARD

Excuse me, are you OK sir?
ADAM
Yeah, absolutely, I feel great! Never
been better! I feel like a tremendous
weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
And that is?
ADAM
Didnt you hear? New York City beat me!
They won, I lost, and now I am free!
(in a serious tone)
OK sir, congratulations. Do you mind
stepping away from the railing though?
ADAM
Ill do you one better. Im going to
leave and walk home, with an extra pep
in my step tonight, knowing full well
that New York City won and Adam Hall
lost!
With that, Adam gives the security guard a handshake and
walks away with a smile across his face while pumping his
fist in the air in celebration.
The security guard remains standing there with a perplexed
look.
Adam is lying in bed in almost complete darkness with only
his TV screen providing light.
Hes just staring up at the ceiling deep in thought as he
twiddles his thumbs nervously.
Finally after a few moments, he turns over, grabs his iPad
from his end table and looks up his companys website.
He clicks on a tab that says Offices which brings up a
map that has red dots signifying their regional offices in
New York City, Chicago, Dallas, Los Angeles and San
Francisco.
176
He stares at the map, focusing specifically on the state of

California.
INT. ADAMS OFFICE FLOOR
HIS CUBE
Instead of doing work, Adam is on his computer looking
again at the regional office map on his companys website.
After a few moments he stands up, nervously fixes his shirt
and takes a deep breath before heading out into the
HALLWAY
Where he walks down to
VINCENTS OFFICE
And sees Vincent focused intently on his computer screen.
He knocks on the open door to get his attention.
ADAM
Hey Vincent, youve got a second?
VINCENT
Sure, come on in. Wait though, I got
to show you this YouTube video first.
Come over here.
ADAM
Ohhkay.
Adam enters his office and walks around his desk to look
over his shoulder at the computer monitor.
VINCENT
Check this out.
Vincent presses play on the video which starts out as a
seal swimming peaceful in the ocean as Vincent narrates.
VINCENT (contd)
(exaggerated voice)
Ohhh hey, Im Flipper and Im just
swimming around my neighborhood on
a lazy day, Ive got nothing to do,
maybe Ill search for some trout or
take my seal girlfriend out on a date
177
Suddenly, a great white shark breeches from out of nowhere

and clenches the seal in its powerful jaws, instantly
killing it before even landing back in the water.
VINCENT (contd)
Ohhh, aaand Im dead!
(laughs)
Hahaha, in the face! In the face!
was awesome, right?
That
ADAM
(unimpressed)
Yeah man, nature is cool.
VINCENT
And violent as a motherfucker.
ADAM
Yeah, that too.
Adam walks back around to the front of Vincents desk and
takes a seat.
VINCENT
What are you doing? Why are you sitting
down?
ADAM
Well I came in to see you.
VINCENT
(confused)
Did I want to see you for some reason?
ADAM
No, I wanted to speak to you.
VINCENT
Ahhh, thats right, I almost forgot.
So whats up?
ADAM
Well Ive been thinking
VINCENT
(interrupts)
Adam, we dont pay you to think, we
pay you to do. Im the thinker around
(MORE)

VINCENT (contd)
here, Ill handle the thinking, youre
the doer. Got it?
ADAM
Right, sorry, I forgot that.
VINCENT
Thats OK, Ill let you think, just
this one time, but dont make it a
habit.
ADAM
Well Vince, Ive been thinking.
VINCENT
About what?
ADAM
San Francisco.
VINCENT
What the hells in San Francisco?
ADAM
Maybe a job opportunity.
VINCENT
A job opportunity, really?
Hopefully.
ADAM
Maybe.
VINCENT
And exactly how long have you been
thinking about this?
ADAM
Since last night sir.
VINCENT
Just last night, huh?
ADAM
Yes sir.
VINCENT
Well this is a big decision.
178
179
ADAM
I know sir.
VINCENT
And you only spent twelve hours thinking
about it?
ADAM
More or less, yes sir.
VINCENT
So when were you going to tell me about
this?
ADAM
(confused)
I thought I was doing it now?
Vincent sits back in his chair and thinks quietly for a few
moments before unleashing on Adam.
VINCENT
Well you disloyal fuck.
ADAM
(caught off guard)
What?
VINCENT (contd)
Youre just going to get up and quit
after all weve done for you here?
All the training weve given you.
Not to mention how unbelievably nice
Ive been to you. And that means something because Im not nice to anyone
around here, go ahead, you can ask any
of those cube monkeys out there.
ADAM
Oh, I know.
VINCENT (contd)
I bet your business card has even
gotten you laid, hasnt it? Im sure
it has you ungrateful fuck. You bled
us for everything we have and what do
we get back from you? Nothing, right?
Nothing. Now you want to piss all over
(MORE)

VINCENT (contd)
us, fuck that Im not going to let you
piss all over us.
(pauses)
What do you have to say for yourself?
You dont even have anything to say,
do you?
(dismissively)
Typical, fucker.
After remaining silent for a few moments, Adam finally
speaks up.
ADAM
Id like to inquire about transferring
out to the San Francisco office.
VINCENT
(confused)
What?
ADAM
Im thinking about moving out to San
Francisco so Id like to see if theres
any potential opportunities at the
office out there.
VINCENT
Really?
ADAM
Yes.
VINCENT
Seriously?
ADAM
Yes, seriously.
VINCENT
So youre not leaving?
ADAM
No, Im not planning on it.
VINCENT
Well this is certainly an abrupt change
of attitude.
180

ADAM
(confused)
From me? I never said I was leaving in
the first place.
VINCENT
(cautiously)
You promise.
ADAM
Well maybe I should after you called
me a disloyal fuck.
VINCENT
(laughs)
Adam that was a while ago.
ADAM
(incredulously)
It was a minute ago. It was literally
just one minute ago.
VINCENT
Things were different back then though.
ADAM
(thinking)
No, they really werent. Maybe in your
head they were, but in reality nothing
has changed.
VINCENT
Whatever were dwelling too much on
the past. Anyways, why do you want
to transfer?
ADAM
Well I know the company needs a little
help in that office and I just think
I might need a change scenery for at
least a little bit of time.
VINCENT
I get it.
ADAM
You do?
181

VINCENT
Sure, youre not getting any younger,
youre still single. Probably giving
up on life around here at this point.
Been on enough dates in the city to
realize that chicks will fuck you but
not seriously date you so youre hoping
that youll have better luck in another
city. You figure the best thing to do
is move to a city that has a regional
office so that you dont miss a step
financiallyand maybe there will even
be some built in talent that you can
immediately start flirting with.
Making happy hour plans as the new
guy in a new city, have some beers
with the young female assistants,
see where things go from there.
Yeah, everyone loves the new guy in
a new city.
ADAM
Wow, thats actually pretty good.
Amazingly you pretty much just hit
the nail on the head.
VINCENT
Of course I did, youre a pretty transparent guy. Youre a dime a dozen too,
I see dudes like you all the time.
ADAM
I dont know about the whole, me hitting
on the young female assistants part,
but other than that, youre pretty
accurate.
VINCENT
You havent seen how hot the assistants
are out there. Trust me I actively
plan meetings out there just so I can
get away from my wife and gawk at the
young ladies in the hallway. Youll
be singing a different tune soon enough.
Plus all the guys are gay so youll
have a leg up with the ladies.
ADAM
Im sure not all the guys are gay.
182

VINCENT
Whatever, Im rounding off.
ADAM
So what do you think about me going to
San Francisco?
VINCENT
Well I personally think the grass is
always greener on the other side.
ADAM
Ohhkay, what do you mean?
VINCENT
You dont know what that saying means?
ADAM
I do, but I dont really understand
what context youre trying to use that
in.
VINCENT
I just mean that even though theres
a lot of hot girls out there within
a sea of gay dudes dont expect San
Francisco chicks to just throw themselves at you as soon as you get off
the plane.
ADAM
No, I mean what do you think about me
transferring?
VINCENT
Ohhh, are you sure this is something
you want to do?
ADAM
Im not positive, but Id like to have
the opportunity to check it out at
least. You know Ive been a very
loyal employee of the agency for years
now and I think this would be a great
opportunity for me to explore which
would be mutually beneficial for both
the company and myself.
183

VINCENT
Even though you just thought about it
overnight?
ADAM
Thats all I needed.
VINCENT
Sounds like a pretty rash decision.
ADAM
Its not.
VINCENT
I like rash decisions.
ADAM
OK, it was then.
VINCENT (contd)
Rash decisions show me you can think
on your feet. We need more of that
quick thinking around here.
ADAM
OK, so what do you think?
VINCENT
Id hate to potentially lose you but
we could use some help in our San
Francisco office.
ADAM
Whoa, did you actually just give me
a compliment? It sounded like you
just gave me a compliment. Im not
sure though because I dont actually
know what one sounds like coming from
you, but it did sound like a compliment
if Im not mistaken.
VINCENT
Shut the fuck up before I start rethinking this whole thing.
ADAM
Ahhh, theres the boss I know and halfway respect!
184

VINCENT
Dont push me Adam.
ADAM
So honestly, what do you think?
VINCENT
Have you even ever been to San Francisco
before?
ADAM
No.
VINCENT
(laughs)
No! You want to pick up and move clear
across the country to a city youve
never been to before?
ADAM
Potentially, yes.
VINCENT
You my friend have balls the size of
Neptune. If you move out there is
your family going to be OK with it?
ADAM
I dont think theyll care that much.
VINCENT
Really? Youre not close with your
parents?
ADAM
I didnt say that, I just dont think
they will care that much. Thats all.
VINCENT
OK. So if youve never been there
before, how do you know youll like
it out there?
ADAM
I dont know, thats why I want to
go out and see it for myself before
I make my final decision. But it
looked nice in that movie San Andreas,
(MORE)
185

ADAM (contd)
I mean before it was destroyed
earthquake. Also, I like wine
hear they have a lot of it out
Anyways, it cant be any worse
than New York right now.
186
by the
and I
there.
to me
VINCENT
Awww, do you hear that? Thats the
worlds smallest violin playing in
your honor.
ADAM
Stop, you know I could use a change
for a bit. I think you can even
admit that.
VINCENT
Yeah, I guess I cant disagree with
that assessment. You are pretty much
a fucking mess from what I can see.
Thank you sir.
ADAM
So?
Vincent sits back in his chair again, a telltale sign that

hes thinking to himself, and speaks up after a few moments
of silence.
VINCENT
OK, I was supposed to be out in San
Francisco on Thursday for a meeting,
nothing big, no presentation, I was
just going to be there to listen and
take notes as the New York office
representative. Why dont you go
in my place, listen, take notes, meet
the office manager and some of the
team, and work out of the office on
Friday too. Then spend the weekend
out there, taking in the sights, on
your dime of course, and fly back on
Sunday night. Then when your back
next week we can discuss your future
and whether or not you feel like a
San Fran relocation should be in your
immediate plans. How does that sound?
187
ADAM
(smiles)
Sounds perfect.
INT. AIRPLANE
Adam is sitting in a window seat as the plane flies over
Queens with the skyline of Manhattan in the background.
He looks at all the buildings, realizing it could be one of
the last times he sees them, as the plane flies south.
Once the plane passes Manhattan, Adam takes out a Fodors
San Francisco travel book from the back pocket of the seat
in front of him and starts thumbing through.
After several seconds, an ELDERLY WOMAN, whos sitting next
to him turns and speaks to him.
ELDERLY WOMAN ON FLIGHT
Sorry for being nosy, but will this
be your first time to San Francisco?
ADAM
(aggravated)
Yes.
Oh youll love it, theres so many
great things to do out there. Are you
going for work or pleasure? And what
are some of the things youre going
to do out there?
Adam practically looks mortified that someone is actually
trying to engage in a conversation with him on the flight.
ADAM
Im very sorry, but its a long flight
so please dont take any offense to what
Im about to do.
With that, he puts his book back in the seat pocket in
front of him, puts his headphones in, places a blanket over
himself and leans his head against the wall in an effort to
go to sleep.
188

(whispers)
Asshole.
ADAM
(smiles)
And proud of it.
The elderly woman is surprised that Adam heard her.
INT. SAN FRANCISCO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT
A lost-looking Adam walks through the crowded airport
holding his carry-on luggage and heads down towards the
baggage claim area past a sign that says Welcome To San
Francisco.
EXT. AVIS RENT-A-CAR PARKING LOT BY THE SAN FRANCISCO
AIRPORT DAY
Adam walks across the parking lot with his luggage towards
his rental car.
Once he gets to the car he takes a long, hard look at the
trunk to figure out where the keyhole might be. He runs
his fingers around the license plate trying to find it then
goes so far as to try to manually pull the trunk open.
Since that doesnt work, he looks at his keys thinking that
he might be able to open it from there. He presses a
button but it unlocks the doors instead.
ADAM
(to himself)
How the hell do you open the trunk?
He hits another button that finally unlocks and opens the
trunk.
ADAM
(to himself)
Jesus, finally.
Adam puts his luggage in the trunk, closes it then gets
into the car.
189
INT. CONVERTIBLE RENTAL CAR

He immediately puts the key into the ignition and turns the
car on then takes several moments to acclimate himself to
everything inside.
Like a true Manhattanite, its been a long time, maybe even
years, since Adam has driven a car so he feels the need to
take some time to refresh his memory.
ADAM
(to himself)
OK, alright, yep, its just like
riding a bike, right? But I suck at
riding a bike.
Immediately he realizes that hes smushed into the seat so
he tries to move his seat back. However as he looks around
he cant find the correct button to move the seat so he
feels beneath the seat but cant find a lever either.
ADAM
(to himself)
How the hell do I move the seat back?
He gets out of the car and looks at the side of the seat to
see if theres a lever there but he doesnt see it so gets
back in.
Adam bangs on the steering wheel in frustration and as he
looks to the side he finally sees a button on the door
which moves his seat back.
ADAM
Fucking finally.
After he gets his seat in the proper position, he then
turns the radio on and plays around with the tuner until he
finds a Rock station.
Next he looks down at the pedals on the floor.
ADAM
OK, I see the gas pedal, the brake.
Next he turns on the lights and the windshield wipers, then
tests out the windshield washer fluid.
190
ADAM
The lights work, thats good. And
theres plenty of washer fluid.
After that, he plays with the steering column lever to
check out the blinkers.
ADAM
Down for left, up for right.
that.
(pauses)
Now lets get this top down.
I remember
Adam reaches into the glove compartment and takes out the
car manual. He repeatedly flips through the book until he
finds the section about putting the top down.
He reads it for a few seconds then looks at the dashboard
until he finds a button close to the steering wheel. He
presses it which makes the top come down.
ADAM
Ha, success.
Finally, he looks into the rearview mirror and notices that
he cant see properly behind him, so he fixes it. Then he
fixes it again, then again, and again, until its just
perfect.
Once everything is in order, he plugs his phone in and
opens up Google maps.
ADAM
At least the one thing I know how
to do is Google Maps.
After taking a long, deep breath, he tries to back up but
the car doesnt go anywhere.
ADAM
What the hell?
He looks around trying to figure why hes not moving when
he realizes that the parking brake is on so he takes it
off.
ADAM
Friggin parking brake.
sets the parking brake?
What asshole
191
Once its off, he puts the car in reverse and backs up ever
so slowly, then puts it in drive and proceeds across the
parking lot at a super slow speed.
ADAM
(smiling)
Alright, Im cruising now!
EXT. SIGHTS & LOCATIONS AROUND SAN FRANCISCO DAY
Once hes out of the airport area, he cruises around San
Francisco with the top down and the music blaring.
He drives by a lot of the citys most well-known places
including:
AT&T PARK
CHINATOWN
UNION SQUARE
LOMBARD STREET
FISHERMANS WHARF
A CABLE CAR ON HYDE ST.
PIER 39 WITH THE SEALS
ALCATRAZ ISLAND
GHIRARDELLI SQUARE
GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE
The montage of San Francisco sights ends with him driving
across the Golden Gate Bridge, heading back into the city.
INT. OFFICE FLOOR IN SAN FRANCISCO
LOBBY
Adam, whos dressed nicely in a crisp shirt, tie and black
pants, is sitting in the very stylish lobby of his agencys
San Francisco office.
He passes the time by reading a copy of Advertising Age as
he awaits his meeting.
192
After a few moments, HARRISON, a laid back-looking

executive in his early forties dressed in a tight buttoneddown and jeans, energetically bursts through the door and
approaches Adam.
HARRISON
Hey there he is, the superstar from
New York! Adam, Im Harrison, I run
the office out here in beautiful San
Francisco.
Harrison shakes his hand enthusiastically as Adam stands up
to greet him.
ADAM
Good to meet you.
HARRISON
Good to meet you as well, how are you
doing?
ADAM
Im doing just fine, thank you.
HARRISON
Flight out here was OK?
ADAM
Yeah, no complaints.
Good.
HARRISON
OK, first things first.
Harrison takes the liberty to untie Adams tie and pulls it

off.
HARRISON (contd)
We dont wear ties out here on the
coast, were a little bit more laid
back than what youre used toeven
if you were wearing that in an ironic,
hipster sort of way, it still wont
play well here.
He hands the tie to Adam who just stuffs it in his pocket.
ADAM
Fine with me, just wanted to make a
good first impression.
193
HARRISON
Dont worry about that, Ill figure
out whether youre an idiot or not
regardless of first impressions.
ADAM
I respect that.
HARRISON
OK, so we have the meeting in the
afternoon, but before that let me
give you a tour of the place.
ADAM
Cool.
HARRISON
OK, first we have the state-of-theart lobby here. Nothing but the
best ergonomic furniture for our
guestsand video screens everywhere.
Harrison walks him by the front desk, which is manned by
SUZY, an attractive young female receptionist.
HARRISON
Im sure youve already met Suzy,
our all-star receptionist.
ADAM
I have, but hello again.
HARRISON
Shes the glue that keeps everything
in this office together.
Then they enter the
HALLWAY
As Harrison leads him by a series of cubes and offices. He
makes sure to introduce Adam to every YOUNG, TRENDY-LOOKING
EMPLOYEE that walks by them.
HARRISON
This is Randy, he works in our search
department. Randy, this is Adam from
the New York office.
194
RANDY
Hows it going Adam?
ADAM
Good, good to meet you.
Adam makes sure to shake everyones hand as he meets them,
while barely breaking the pace that Harrison is setting
walking down the hall.
HARRISON
This is the lovely Teresa, shes in
our traffic department.
ADAM
How do you do Teresa.
HARRISON
Coming up we have Kimberly, she works
in strategic planning. Shes our ace
that does all our strategery.
ADAM
Hi Kimberly.
KIMBERLY
Please call me Kimmy.
ADAM
OK Kimmy.
HARRISON
And this piece of work is Donald,
hes the head of our research team.
Donald, this is Adam.
Donald just casually gives him a high five.
DONALD
What it is Adam.
ADAM
Hey man, good to meet you.
DONALD
You a 49ers fan?
ADAM
No, Patriots.
195
Donald continues walking down the hall without breaking

stride.
DONALD
Fuck Belichick.
ADAM
Free Brady though.
HARRISON
Dont worry about Donald.
Harrison leans over towards Adam and whispers to him.
HARRISON (contd)
Hes a little bit of an acquired
taste anyways. You know what Im
saying?
Harrison walks Adam by a big room thats filled with rows
and rows of cubicles which are occupied mostly by young,
attractive TWENTY-SOMETHINGS.
HARRISON
(whispers)
Take note of the views around the
cube farm. A lot of girls easy on
the eyes, right?
ADAM
Definitely.
HARRISON
Yeah, weve got a good-looking group
here. Theyre all talented too, not
just pretty faces. My staff does an
excellent job hiring, retention might
be another story though.
(pauses)
Here, I want to show you this.
Harrison leads him into a large
BREAK ROOM
Which is filled with a lot of creature comforts a fully
stocked bar alongside one wall with a kegerator sitting
next to it. Theres a small juice bar along the wall too.
196
A ping pong table, foosball table, air hockey table,

shuffleboard table, billiards table and pinball machine are
sprinkled throughout the room along with several high-top
tables.
A few large, flat-screen TVs hang from the ceiling and a
bunch of board games populate a bookshelf in one corner.
When they enter the room, there are TWO MALE EMPLOYEES
playing a rather competitive game of ping pong while TWO
OTHER MALE EMPLOYEES are playing a leisurely game of pool.
HARRISON
Youre not going to find a better rec
room anywhere in the corporate world.
Weve got foosball, weve got ping
pong, air hockey, pool, even friggin
shuffleboard.
ADAM
Damn, when do you guys have any time
to work with all this stuff to keep
you occupied?
HARRISON
(laughs)
Ha, people use this room to blow off
steam and relieve stress. Its a
great place to come when you need a
break, a lot better than going outside and walking around the block a
few times.
Adam notices a punching bag in one corner of the room and
points it out to Harrison.
ADAM
Whats the punching bag for?
HARRISON
Thats for when someone has a bad
client call. They can just come in
and let out some aggression by beating
the hell out of the bag.
ADAM
Not a bad idea.
197
HARRISON
Its a great idea!
An errant ping pong ball from the table hits Adam in the
head so he picks it up and throws it back to the guys like
nothing happened.
HARRISON
You always got to watch out for
flying ping pong balls in here,
keep your head on a swivel.
(pauses)
Let me show you the caf area.
Harrison and Adam walk through a door in the rec room that
leads directly to the
CAF AREA
HARRISON
One of the best things about this
office, besides the rec room, is that
we have a catered breakfast and lunch
brought in every day.
ADAM
Every day?
HARRISON
(nods his head yes)
Every day.
ADAM
That must cost a pretty penny, who
funds that?
HARRISON
Thats the best part. We have a
different sales rep or tech firm
sponsor each meal.
ADAM
Nice racket.
HARRISON
Well everyones so busy these days
that the only time a lot of these
sales reps can meet my guys are in
(MORE)
198
HARRISON (contd)
the breakfast or lunch lines, so its
a mutually beneficial relationship.
We get free food and they get business
cards for their rolodexes.
ADAM
Like I said, nice racket.
Harrison walks over to a table thats filled with breakfast
pastries, orange juice cartons and a coffee machine.
HARRISON
It is.
Without any warning, he picks up a bagel and tosses it over
to Adam.
HARRISON (contd)
Here, have a stale bagel.
ADAM
ThanksI think.
He has one small bite of the bagel and is so disgusted that
he throws the rest in a trash can.
HARRISON
Come, lets go to my office and chat.
HARRISONS OFFICE
Adam and Harrison enter his office which has a great view
of Fishermans Wharf.
HARRISON
Here, have a seat.
Harrison and Adam take a seat around a table.
ADAM
Thats a great view.
HARRISON
Pays to be the boss, doesnt it?
ADAM
Always does, right?

HARRISON
So why are you thinking about transferring
out here?
ADAM
I think I could help the office with
my leadership and organizational
skills.
HARRISON
OK, but why are you really thinking
about coming out here?
ADAM
Sir?
HARRISON
Come on thats a totally selfless answer,
no one is that selfless, especially
in this industry. So, duly noted, I
heard your selfless answer, now I want
to hear your more selfish answer, you
know, the real answer.
ADAM
I just think its time in my personal
life to try something new, go somewhere different; re-start, re-energize,
rejuvenate, whatever you want to call
it.
HARRISON
Thats fair, I understand. Hell Im
not from here either, Im originally
from upstate New York. So are you
single? No wife, no girlfriend?
ADAM
Nope, free as a bird.
HARRISON
OK, Im not going to lie and Im not
going to sugarcoat things, we could
use your help around here. I keep
losing my people to Silicon Valley,
Facebook, Google, Uber, even Twitter.
I even had someone go to Myspace
last year. Can you believe that
(MORE)
199

HARRISON (contd)
bullshit? I lost someone to fucking
Myspace. What a god damn insult.
Not even our fantastic rec room
is enough to keep everyone around.
Ive lost a bunch of people, even
my idiots are being hired away,
thats how competitive it is.
ADAM
Are you worried if I come out here
that youll lose me as well?
HARRISON
Not really, Vincent told me you were
a loyal, standup guy.
ADAM
He said that?
HARRISON
He did. Look, Im not an idiot, everyone moves on at some point, I get it.
Its a rare sight to see someone work
at the same place for over ten years,
all Id be asking for is a few years
from you to right the ship; weve got
some issues in this office and it
goes beyond staff retention, our new
business engine has slowed recently
and a couple of our bigger accounts
are in danger of going into review.
I hear from your bosses in New York
that youve got some great leadership
skills, so Id love to tap into those.
ADAM
(contemplating)
A few years.
HARRISON
Yes, two to three years at least.
(pauses)
Is that a problem?
ADAM
(thinking)
No, no problem at all.
200
201
HARRISON
OK so youve seen the office, now
what do you think?
ADAM
I think I have a lot to think about.
HARRISON
Thats fair, in the meantime let me
set you up with a workstation that
you can plug into for the next couple
of days.
The two get up from the table and prepare to walk out of
the office.
HARRISON
Oh, one more thing. While I urge
you to take your time and think
things through since this would be
a big move, I do have an office to
run.
ADAM
I understand.
HARRISON
So I told Vincent that Ill need to
know your deal, and what youre going
to do, by two Mondays from now. If
I dont hear by then, Ill need to
Interview external candidates for
this position. Sound fair?
ADAM
Yeah thats cool, I understand and
I definitely will have an answer for
you by then.
HARRISON
Very good then.
INT. THE DEVILS ACRE TAVERN, SAN FRANCISCO
On Saturday afternoon, Adam enters the tavern and surveys
the place which is full of YOUNG COUPLES and small groups
of FRIENDS having some quiet cocktails.
202
ADAM (V.O.)
Since San Francisco is all new to me,
I decided to meet up with a semifriendly face over the weekend while
I was out here.
He sees Courtney sitting at a small table for two deep into
the sitting room area; shes reading the cocktail menu.
ADAM (V.O.)
Right about now you might be wondering
where you recognize this girl from.
Well remember the Vegas trip, the
girlfriend who eloped with another
guy from the blackjack table?
Courtney ring a bell?
Adam walks over to the table and, as he gets closer,
Courtney puts down the menu and greets him with a big
smile.
ADAM
Hello Courtney.
COURTNEY
Hi Adam.
ADAM (V.O.)
Courtney moved out to San Francisco
shortly after her annulment; another
person who felt like they needed a
new beginning, a fresh start, and a
change of scenery. It also helped
that she has family up and down the
west coast. Me? Id be flying blind
out here.
He kisses her on the cheek and sits down across from her.
ADAM
Youre looking as lovely as ever.
COURTNEY
Youre looking pretty good yourself.
ADAM
Thanks.

COURTNEY
Heres the cocktail menu, looks like
they have some pretty good concoctions.
ADAM
Youve been here before, right?
COURTNEY
Yeah, its a good place.
Courtney gives him the cocktail menu which he begins to
study intently.
ADAM (V.O.)
My friends often ask me why it seems
like I actively try to hang out with
my ex-girlfriends, especially since
most of those relationships dont
exactly end very well. Well I wish
I could give you an answer but truthfully I dont even know. Maybe its
some sort of weird dependency issues,
maybe its the desire to revise
history and end things right, maybe
its an ego thing or maybe Im just
plain lonely. I dont know, but I
should probably figure that out.
Regardless, I think whoever came up
with the quote those who dont learn
from history are doomed to repeat
it, had me in mind when they said it.
A WAITRESS stops by their table to take their order.
DEVILS ACRE WAITRESS
Hi, can I get you two some drinks.
ADAM
Sure, Courtney what would you like?
COURTNEY
Ill just take an Old Fashioned.
ADAM
And Ill do a Penicillin.
COURTNEY
Ohhh, whats a Penicillin?
203

ADAM
Its just some modern scotch drink.
COURTNEY
Scotch, yuck. Im not that refined.
Ill stick with my Old Fashioned.
Very good, coming right up.
The two go back to their conversation once the waitress
walks away.
COURTNEY
So what are you doing out here?
Vacation? Work?
ADAM
Work. Mostly work, with some fun
mixed in, like right now.
COURTNEY
What are you doing out here for work?
ADAM
A little of this, a little of that.
COURTNEY
Why are you being so coy?
ADAM
Well Im thinking about moving to
San Francisco.
Worried that Courtney might have a negative reaction to
that news, Adam quickly follows up with his next line.
ADAM (contd)
Dont worry, Im not looking to be
your friend out here.
COURTNEY
You think I was worried about you
moving out here?
ADAM
I dont know, I thought you started
forming that look.
204

COURTNEY
What look?
ADAM
You have a look that you get, its
like a cross between nervousness
and surprise.
COURTNEY
OK, I didnt know that. Well anyways,
Id be happy to be your friend
ADAM
(interrupts)
I dont really know if Id want to be
yours though.
COURTNEY
Why not?
ADAM
(incredulously)
You dont really need to ask that
question, do you?
COURTNEY
Then why did you ask me to meet you
today?
ADAM
Maybe Im a glutton for punishment?
Maybe Im a masochist? Actually I
dont think its either, truth be
told, I have a soft spot for you, I
always have, so I wanted to see you.
COURTNEY
Thats nice. But what I was going
to say before you interrupted was
that Id be happy to be your friend
but Im moving back to New York City
next month.
ADAM
Oh, you are?
COURTNEY
Yep, moving back with my boyfriend.
205

ADAM
Is this a new boyfriend?
COURTNEY
No, old one actually, before you, but
we recently reconnected.
ADAM
Is he from New York?
COURTNEY
Yes, thats why Im moving back, we
actually dated in high school.
ADAM
Thats OK, I dont need to know the
history.
COURTNEY
I just thought Id
Adam isnt really interested in hearing Courtneys story
about her new, old boyfriend.
ADAM
(interrupts her)
Do you think youd stay here for a
while if you werent moving back
with your boyfriend?
Yes, I think so.
COURTNEY
I love it here.
ADAM
But do you miss your friends and family
back home?
COURTNEY
Of course, but theres these great
things called Skype, Snapchat and
FaceTime that allow me to keep in
touch with people. If you werent
so old, we couldve used them when
we were dating.
ADAM
Hey, Im not that old.
206

COURTNEY
(laughs)
Im just kidding.
ADAM
Besides, the guy you eloped with
was a lot older than me.
COURTNEY
I didnt know that at the time though.
ADAM
You didnt know his real age, but
you did know he was older than me.
COURTNEY
Why are we talking about this?
ADAM
I think you started with the age thing.
COURTNEY
Can we just pretend like it never
happened?
ADAM
Its a little difficult to do that,
seeing as though I ended up wasting
a lot of time myself because of it
too.
COURTNEY
I know, but it does neither of us
any good if we continue to dwell on
the past.
ADAM
(thinking)
Well if the Catholic church can forget
about it, I guess I can too.
Thank you.
about?
COURTNEY
So what were we talking
ADAM
That you like it out here.
207
208
COURTNEY
Yeah, its fun. Great restaurants,
great shopping, which I know you
dont care about, but great bars too.
The cocktail culture out here is
amazing.
Cocktail culture?
ADAM
Look at you.
COURTNEY
Ive become quite the cocktail
connoisseur thanks to you.
ADAM
Youre welcome.
The waitress comes back and drops their drinks off at the
table.
OK, weve got one Old Fashioned and
one Penicillin. Do you guys need
anything else at the moment?
ADAM
No, I think were all set.
OK, well just shout out if you need
anything.
As the waitress leaves, the two of them lift their glasses
up to cheers.
ADAM
Lets have a cheers.
COURTNEY
Cheers.
(smiles)
Good to see you again Adam.
ADAM
Good to see you.
They both take a sip of their drinks.
209
COURTNEY
Mmmm, I cant believe it took me so
long to acquire the taste of bourbon.
ADAM
Well its not the easiest thing to
drink, its a little complex, unlike
vodka. I know how much you girls
like your vodka sodas.
COURTNEY
I used to, now Im like, yuck. This
is much better. Hows your drink?
ADAM
Very good.
COURTNEY
Would you like to try mine?
ADAM
Sure. You want to have a sip of mine?
Who knows, maybe youll enjoy the
taste of scotch.
COURTNEY
Yeah, Ill try it.
The two switch their glasses and have a sip of each others
drinks. They switch their glasses back once theyre done.
ADAM
Its good, hows mine?
COURTNEY
Its not bad, I think Ill stick with
my American whiskey though.
ADAM
Too peaty?
COURTNEY
Whats that?
ADAM
Smoky.

COURTNEY
Yeah I dont really like the smokiness
that much.
ADAM
Thats fine, its not for everyone.
Its a bit of an acquired taste.
I for one really like it though.
Adam and Courtney sit there quietly having a few sips of
their drinks until Adam speaks up.
ADAM
So can I ask you a question?
COURTNEY
Sure.
ADAM
Why did you elope?
COURTNEY
I thought we werent going to talk
about this?
ADAM
No, we werent going to talk about
your ex-man, but Im asking about
the bigger picture. Like, overall,
why did you elope?
COURTNEY
Thats a tough question to answer,
why does anyone elope in Vegas?
ADAM
I dont know Ive never done it,
thats why Im asking the one with
experience.
COURTNEY
I dont know, maybe I got caught up
in the moment?
ADAM
But I was out there with you, I
couldve been part of that moment.
210

COURTNEY
I dont know. I dont know what you
want me to tell you.
ADAM
OK, how about why did you feel the
need to get married? Did I do something wrong? Was it my fault?
COURTNEY
No, Im just insecure.
Really?
ADAM
Thats your answer?
COURTNEY
What do you want from me? I do a
lot of dumb shit, ok. I do a lot
of dumb shit.
ADAM
At least thats an honest answer I
guess.
COURTNEY
Well my therapist has been telling
me that I should be very forthcoming
and honest with people.
ADAM
You need a therapist to tell you that?
COURTNEY
Yes. Remember Im in sales, I lie
for a living. Unfortunately, that
behavior can cross over into my
personal life, with my personal
relationships, as well.
ADAM
You need a better work / life balance.
COURTNEY
Why do you feel the need to ask me
about this stuff? You know me pretty
well, you know I do a lot of things
that dont make any sense and that
Im super impulsive and very compulsive.
211
212
ADAM
Im just trying to figure out why
this sort of shit keeps happening
to me.
COURTNEY
Youve had other girls elope on you?
ADAM
No, just you. But I mean, I dont
know what Im doing to make all these
girls I date turn to other dudes or
disappear.
COURTNEY
Youre not making these girls do anything.
ADAM
OK, well regardless of whether Im
at fault or not, I dont know why
these girls are turning to other
dudes or just outright disappearing.
COURTNEY
You shouldnt think about it too
much. Youre a great guy and Im
sure youre better than them and
theyre probably not worth it.
ADAM
So are you saying you werent worth
it, that Im better than you?
Courtney just shrugs her shoulders without answering the
question as they both go back to quietly sipping their
drinks.
She finally speaks up again after a few moments of silence.
COURTNEY
If its any consolation at all about
anything, I actually cared about you,
I didnt care about him.
ADAM
Is that supposed to make me feel better?

COURTNEY
I dont know, I hope, but regardless
its the truth.
ADAM
Thanks.
COURTNEY
I really am sorry about what happened
and what I did. It just happened and
everything happened so fast, but I
never wanted to hurt you.
ADAM
Dont worry about it, its water under
the bridge at this point.
EXT. SIDEWALK, THE DEVILS ACRE, SAN FRANCISCO LATE
AFTERNOON
Courtney and Adam walk outside and stand in front of the
tavern to give each other their final goodbyes.
COURTNEY
I think thats the first time Ive
ever met you for drinks and only
had two.
ADAM
Yeah, whats up with that? Is this
a new, more responsible Courtney?
COURTNEY
I guess, I mean I do have to drive
now; thats the one bad thing about
San Francisco.
Ahhh, makes sense.
up to?
ADAM
So what are you
COURTNEY
Well I have to meet my boyfriend for
dinner now.
ADAM
A little early for dinner, dont you
think?
213
214
COURTNEY
Yeah, were like an old married couple.
So when do you head back to New York?
ADAM
Tomorrow night.
COURTNEY
What are you doing tonight?
ADAM
Im just going to chill and explore
The San Francisco culture. Think
Ill grab some meat at that prime
rib place then go around to a few
more cocktail places later tonight.
COURTNEY
Cool. Check out Tosca Caf, they
have good cocktails there.
ADAM
Tosca Caf, OK I will.
COURTNEY
(awkwardly)
Well, it was good seeing you.
ADAM
Yeah, it definitely was.
Adam gives her an awkward kiss on the cheek.
COURTNEY
Good luck with whatever you decide.
ADAM
Thanks, and good luck to you and your
man. I hope everything works out
for you.
COURTNEY
Same with you.
ADAM
Thanks.
The two awkwardly stand there not knowing how to end their
conversation until Courtney speaks up again.
215
COURTNEY
OK, bye.
ADAM
Bye.
They give each other one final glance before going their
separate ways in opposite directions on the sidewalk.
INT. HOUSE OF PRIME RIB, SAN FRANCISCO
Adam is sitting by himself in the middle of an elegant
dining room with a bottle of red wine and a massive cut of
prime rib in front of him.
Several CARVERS are walking throughout the dining room
pushing their stainless steel serving carts towards
awaiting tables.
As Adam eats by himself he notices a table of FIVE
BOISTEROUS FEMALES in their early thirties celebrating some
sort of special event over a few bottles of wine.
A couple of the women notice him sitting by himself and
start eying him so he coyly eyes them back.
One of them winks at him and he awkwardly waves at them as
they giggle to each other.
Then they raise their glasses of wine to which he raises
his and they silently cheers each other in the air and take
a sip.
Adam laughs over the harmless flirting as the two women
wave at him then go back to the conversation with the rest
of their friends.
He has a couple more bites of his prime rib then takes out
his iPhone to check his dating apps.
He first goes onto Bumble and starts swiping. To his
surprise, he actually ends up matching each of the first
eight women that he swipes right on.
ADAM
(quietly to himself)
Awesome.
216
Next he goes onto Tinder and starts swiping as well. He

doesnt have as much luck there but he does match with
three out of the first ten women he swipes right on, which
is better than hes ever done in New York.
ADAM
(quietly to himself)
Impressive.
Afterwards, he puts his phone down, pours himself another
glass of wine and takes a sip as he watches the group of
women at their table continue to laugh it up and have fun.
EXT. BROADWAY, NORTH BEACH, SAN FRANCISCO NIGHT
Its late at night and Adam is walking along the neon-lined
stretch of the street that passes through San Franciscos
red-light district.
He has to navigate his way through scantily-clad HOOKERS
hanging out along the sidewalk looking for their next
customer and overly aggressive DOORMEN outside of strip
clubs trying to lure men into their establishments.
Theres one hooker in particular, an attractive AfricanAmerican woman named ANGEL, that is especially persistent
with Adam and follows him down the street even though hes
barely showing her any attention.
Shes also eating sunflower seeds from a bag and she spits
out the shells as she walks.
ANGEL
Hey hun, hey hun
Adam continues walking without stopping.
ANGEL (contd)
Im Angel, whats your name?
He still continues walking.
ANGEL (contd)
You want to go to my car around the
corner and get sucked off for fifty
dollars?
He finally stops at the corner and faces her.

ADAM
No Im fine.
ANGEL
Come on baby, Ill make it worth your
while.
ADAM
Is your name really Angel?
ANGEL
Yes.
ADAM
Thats kind of ironic, isnt it?
ANGEL
Im just trying to make a living
like everyone else in this world.
ADAM
This is where the actions at?
this area of town?
Like
ANGEL
Oh yeah baby, you can satisfy all your
vices around here. All of them.
ADAM
(contemplating)
Really?
ANGEL
Yeah, if you want coke, I can get you
coke.
ADAM
Im not really a coke guy.
ANGEL
Youre a sex guy though, everyones
a sex guy. So what do you say? You
want to go back to my car and get your
balls licked?
ADAM
What kind of car you drive?
217
218
ANGEL
A Nissan.
ADAM
(unimpressed)
And where are you parked?
ANGEL
Im in the garage down the street.
ADAM
Isnt it brightly lit?
ANGEL
We can drive around until we find a
dark side street.
ADAM
(thinking)
Nah, Im good.
ANGEL
Suit yourself
Angel takes a few steps and does a pirouette to show off
her tight body, big rack and shapely bottom.
ANGEL (contd)
But take one last look at what youre
missing out on and dream about me
later when youre jerking off.
ADAM
Ill make sure to do that.
Adam begins to walk away but abruptly stops and turns back
to her.
ADAM (contd)
Oh and one more thing. Those sunflower
seed shells that youre spitting out
all over the ground? Not sexy, not
sexy at all.
He turns back around, crosses the street and heads into
219
INT. TOSCA CAF, SAN FRANCISCO

Adam is sitting in the middle of the quiet bar which only
has a few other patrons at it.
CINDY, the female bartender, has just dropped off one of
their specialty cocktails to him, the Birds Eye chili
tequila cocktail.
ADAM
So you say that birds eye chili is
twenty-five times hotter than a
jalapeno?
CINDY
Absolutely, thats what gives the
drink such a spicy kick.
ADAM
Ill be the judge of that, I like
spice.
Adam takes a sip and winces ever so slightly but still
manages to drink it easily.
CINDY
What do you think?
ADAM
Tastes great but it wasnt so bad.
CINDY
So you dont think it was hot?
ADAM
Not at all.
CINDY
OK, Im not supposed to do this but
She grabs an eye dropper from behind the bar, dips it into
a mason jar thats filled with birds eye chili sauce and
returns to Adam.
CINDY (contd)
Here, give me your hand.
ADAM
OK.
220
Adam is confused but gives her his hand without any

questions.
She turns it over so his palm is facing down at the bar and
she squeezes one drop of sauce on his hand.
CINDY
This is straight birds eye chili
sauce. Have a taste.
ADAM
One drop?
CINDY
Trust me, two might kill you.
Cindy pours him a full glass of water in preparation even
before he tries it.
ADAM
I dont need the water.
You will.
CINDY
Go ahead, try it.
Adam licks his hand, taking in the one small drop, and
doesnt feel any immediate effect.
ADAM
I dont feel anything.
CINDY
It takes a few seconds, wait for it.
ADAM
I dont know, I feel completely fi
All of sudden, the unbearable heat hits him and he
immediately goes for his water.
ADAM (contd)
Holy fuck, thats hot!
CINDY
(laughs)
I told you.
He downs the entire glass in mere seconds.

ADAM
More water, more water please!
Cindy fills up the glass again and he downs that one in a
few seconds too so she fills it up once again.
CINDY
So what do you think?
ADAM
Wow, that iswow, that is hot.
CINDY
Twenty-five times hotter than a jalapeno.
ADAM
So Ive heard.
CINDY
My names Cindy.
She extends her hand to shake his but he offers the hand
that had the sauce on it.
ADAM
Hi, Im Adam.
CINDY
Actually, do you mind if I shake your
other hand? That sauce can burn just
by touching it.
Adam offers up his other hand and they shake.
CINDY (contd)
So are you from around here?
ADAM
No just here on business.
CINDY
Ohhh, thats unfortunate, youre a
good sport and would probably make
a good regular here.
ADAM
Thanks.
221

CINDY
So where are you visiting from?
ADAM
New York City.
CINDY
Ahhh, the city. I used to live there
for a few years right after college,
thought Id become a famous actress.
But that fucking Jennifer Lawrence
took all the good parts I was thinking
about going for.
ADAM
She did?
CINDY
No, but let me just believe I had a
shot at those roles, OK? I think I
wouldve been perfect in Silver
Linings Playbook.
ADAM
Yes, yes, youre right. So where did
you live when you were in the city?
CINDY
East Village.
ADAM
Of course.
CINDY
(laughs)
Oh really!?! Im that transparent?
ADAM
No, you just seem like an East Village
girl.
CINDY
Im going to take that as a compliment.
ADAM
You should, its not not a compliment.
222

CINDY
And where do you live? Wait, let me
guess, the Upper East Side.
ADAM
Yes, thats because I am transparent.
CINDY
You seem like a good guy so Ill refrain
from any Upper East Side jokes.
ADAM
Thanks, Im sure you have a lot.
CINDY
I certainly do.
ADAM
So are you from here?
CINDY
Yes, born and bred San Franciscan.
ADAM
And you like it here?
CINDY
Absolutely, I love it here. If it
wasnt for college and trying to make
it as an actress I wouldve never left.
ADAM
Good to know.
Cindy takes a cloth and cleans the bar area around Adam.
CINDY
OK well, I should check on my other
customers. Let me know if you need
anything.
Cindy pours him a second glass on water on top of the one
he already has.
CINDY (contd)
Heres a second glass to get you
through the next few minutes.
223
224
ADAM
(laughs)
Thanks.
As Cindy walks away, Adam takes out his iPhone and checks
his Twitter. After scrolling through the latest tweets on
his feed, he thinks for a moment before deciding to check
Biancas Twitter.
Once on her page, he sees that she tweeted earlier in the
day just touched down in SF for work, should be a good
time!
Realizing shes in San Francisco, hes immediately tempted
to correspond with her somehow so he opens his Gmail app to
start typing an email.
He starts his first draft with - Hey, I saw that youre in
San Francisco this weekend.
ADAM (V.O.)
Nah, too stalker-ish.
He deletes the email then starts all over again with
Hey, any chance youre in San Francisco this weekend?
ADAM (V.O.)
No, too psychotic. Shell just think
Im weird, why would I ever think
shed be in San Fran? Then she would
wonder why Id think shed be here.
He deletes this email as well and, after thinking twice,
decides to close his app and not send her an email.
ADAM (V.O.)
I cant do it. I cant send her
an email. There is no reasonable
explanation for me to know that shes
here without showing that Im creeping.
And I cant creep.
(thinking)
No, I definitely cant creep.
(pauses)
God damn it!
Frustrated, he grabs his glass and goes back to drinking.
225
After a few sips, he checks his Bumble and notices that a

few of his earlier matches have actually written to him.
Theyre simple texts hey, how are you, hows it
going and are you enjoying your weekend but at least
they are some sort of correspondence.
He decides to reply to the are you enjoying your weekend
text immediately by responding, Its good, just having a
cocktail at Tosca Caf, hows your weekend going?
After he sends the text, he flashes a big smile while
putting down his phone and finishes his drink.
Cindy walks over to Adam and grabs his empty glass.
CINDY
Another drink?
ADAM
No, I should get going.
CINDY
When are you heading back to New York?
ADAM
Tomorrow night.
CINDY
Well I hope to see you around here
again before you head back.
ADAM
I hope so too.
Cindy extends her hand again as Adam extends him.
CINDY
Ohh no, no, no; again, the hand without the sauce residue.
ADAM
But I licked it all up, I swear.
CINDY
Ewww. But you can never be too sure
when youre dealing with that sauce.
226
Adam extends his other hand and shakes hers as they look
each other in the eyes; there seems to be some subtle
flirtation going on.
ADAM
Good night Cindy.
CINDY
(smiles)
Good night Adam.
EXT. AT&T PARK, SAN FRANCISCO - DAY
Adam is sitting by himself drinking a beer on an aisle
along the first base line watching a Sunday afternoon San
Francisco Giants baseball game.
While hes sitting there, he takes out his iPhone and
checks his Bumble app. Hes gotten a few more matches
since the prior night and hes also continuing the
conversation with the girl he matched with.
Since he last texted her, she replied with Its good,
just hanging out with friends and going sailing. Are you
doing anything exciting today? He responds with Just a
lazy Sunday afternoon at the Giants game.
As he continues to type, the crowd goes wild when a Giants
player hits a long drive out of the stadium and into
McCovey Cove where a bunch of kayakers chase after the
baseball.
Hes practically oblivious to the action going on around
him as he finishes up typing.
EXT. SIDEWALK ALONG THE SAN FRANCISCO BAY DAY
Later that day, Adam walks along a sidewalk that hugs the
Bay while holding an ice cream sundae from Ghirardellis.
Hes taking in all the sights around him - the bicyclists
riding past, skateboarders doing tricks and tourists
walking aimlessly with maps in their hands.
He finds an empty bench that sits right on the edge of the
bay looking over it and takes a seat.
Once settled, Adam stares out over the water - looking at
Alcatraz and the boats passing by while periodically
227
having bites from his sundae. Hes deep in thought and

seems to be seriously contemplating his future.
INT. CENTRAL PARK ZOO, PENGUIN EXHIBIT
Back in New York City, Adam is standing in the middle of
the indoor exhibit, flanked by a bunch of YOUNG SCHOOLKIDS,
virtually mesmerized by the penguins in the large tank.
He aimlessly walks through the exhibit looking like hes
seriously contemplating a lot of things on his mind.
EXT. CENTRAL PARK DAY
EAST GREEN AREA
Its a beautiful day in Central Park and, after the penguin
exhibit, Adam finds himself sitting on a bench along one of
the paved paths. A HOMELESS MAN, whos minding his own
business, is sitting on the other end of the bench.
ADAM (V.O.)
I like Central Park. Its nice and
soothing in here. Its kind of amazing
that such a large parcel of peaceful
greenery is located smack dab in the
middle of a concrete jungle like New
York City. I feel like everyone that
lives in Manhattan has come to the
Park at least once in their life to
clear their heads and just think.
Think about life, think about the
future, think about all the
possibilities that exist. To me,
Central Park represents hope. And
you can see it from the animals that
roam the meadows, the young couples
strolling hand-in-hand down the
pathways and the toddlers running
carefree through the fields.
A YOUNG COUPLE holding hands walk past Adam as he focuses
on a TODDLER off in the distance running around chasing
bubbles that are being blown by his DAD.
Adam turns and sees a chipmunk just hanging out in the
grass behind him.
228
ADAM
Oh hey, whats up little guy?
He rips off a small piece of bread from the sandwich
sitting next to him and throws it over to the chipmunk who
gladly eats it up.
ADAM
You dont even know how easy you have
it pal. You probably live a simple
life here in the park with no regards
for anything. Your biggest care in
the world is finding enough acorns
to feed your family. You really are
a squirrel just trying to get a nut
in life.
HOMELESS MAN
(mutters)
Its a chipmunk.
Realizing that the man said something that he didnt hear,
Adam turns to him quizzically.
ADAM
What was that?
HOMELESS MAN
(speaks up)
Its a chipmunk dumbass
The man points over to a squirrel climbing up a nearby
tree.
HOMELESS MAN (contd)
Thats a squirrel.
Oh, OK.
ADAM
Im not one for nature.
HOMELESS MAN
Well I am
The man waves his hands from side to side in front of his
body.
This is my world
229
He then points to the chipmunk with one of his index

fingers and the squirrel with the other.
And these are my friends.
He points all five of his fingers on one hand at the
chipmunk.
And this right here is Albert, the
chipmunk. OK?
ADAM
(confused)
Ohhhkay, got it.
The homeless man stands up, grabs his huge bag that no
doubt holds most of his belongings and walks away.
Adam watches the chipmunk run around while he goes back
into deep thought. After a little while contemplating, he
takes the last couple bites from his sandwich, stands up
and starts walking aimlessly along a pathway.
STRAWBERRY FIELDS
Adam walks into the Strawberry Fields area of Central Park
where he wanders pass the elm trees and flowers that line
the section until he approaches the iconic black and white
Imagine mosaic.
He quietly stares at it for a long time until a smile
develops across his face and he nods his head in approval.
The peacefulness and meaning of Strawberry Fields has
finally allowed Adam to make a decision about his future.
INT. PRIME ONE ELEVEN RESTAURANT, TRUMBULL, CONNECTICUT
Adam and his family mom, dad, Jillian, Richard and Ronald
- are sitting around a table having dinner. Plates are
being passed around, drinks are being had and everyone is
having their own small conversations until Adams mom asks
Adam a question.
ADAMS MOM
So Adam, whats going on with that
girl Aggie? How is she doing?
230
ADAM
I couldnt tell you mom.
ADAMS MOM
How come?
ADAM
Well she ghosted me.
Ghosted you?
ADAMS MOM
What does that mean?
ADAMS DAD
Isnt that when a guy finishes all
over a girls face? How did she do
that to you?
Everyone drops their forks and stops eating in disbelief as
Jillian shakes her head in disgust.
RICHARD
I guess we know what kind of porn
you watch, Mr. Hall.
ADAM
Yep, bukkake.
RONALD
Mom, whats bukkake?
JILLIAN
(rolls eyes)
Nothing Ronnie.
Jillian covers Ronalds ears and yells at everyone around
the table.
JILLIAN
Youre all assholes.
ADAMS MOM
Hey, what did I do?
JILLIAN
Except for you mom.
ADAMS MOM
Finally I didnt do something wrong.

JILLIAN
No, dad and Adam are specifically the
assholes this time around.
ADAMS DAD
(shrugs his shoulders)
What did I do?
JILLIAN
Shut it, just shut it.
Jillian uncovers Ronalds ears.
JILLIAN
Ronald, dont you need to go to the
bathroom?
RONALD
No.
JILLIAN
I think you need to go to the bathroom.
Richard, can you take Ronald to the
bathroom.
RONALD
But I dont have to go to the bathroom.
RICHARD
If mommy says you have to go to the
bathroom then youve got to go.
Richard puts his napkin down on the table and stands up.
RICHARD (contd)
Lets go kid.
He takes Ronalds hand as they walk away from the table.
ADAMS DAD
So let me get this straight, ghosting
is not that?
ADAM
No dad, not in this case at least.
ADAMS MOM
So what does it mean?
231

JILLIAN
God mom, even I know what ghosting
is and Ive been out of the game for
years.
ADAMS MOM
(impatiently)
So is anyone actually going to tell
me what it is or is everyone just
going to be assholes?
ADAM
Ghosting is when someone that youre
dating suddenly disappears with no
warning, its like they just fell
off the face of the earth. You can
call them, and you can text them
over and over again, but nothing
works; they wont ever respond and
youll never hear from them again.
ADAMS MOM
Oh
(thinking)
Thats quite mean.
ADAM
Welcome to the world today.
ADAMS MOM
Why would someone do that?
ADAM
For whatever reason, they dont want
to continue seeing the person theyre
dating, but instead of just saying
theyre not interested, they take
the easy way out, at least for them,
and just vanish.
JILLIAN
Some people just arent mature enough
to deal with life.
ADAMS MOM
So they just totally, completely
disappear?
232

ADAM
Thats right.
ADAMS MOM
What if you run into them at the
market?
ADAM
(laughs)
Not likely mom.
ADAMS MOM
Why not? I run into people I know
everywhere all the time.
ADAM
Because I live in a big city, its
very easy to never see someone again.
Here one day, gone the next, its
just that easy in New York.
Richard and Ronald come walking back to the table.
ADAMS MOM
I never ghosted anyone back in the
day.
ADAM
You dated dad since you were nineteen
though.
ADAMS MOM
Well if I had the chance to ghost someone, I wouldnt have done it because
its rude and inconsiderate.
ADAM
It was a different time back then
and its a different time now. This
happens and it happens a lot.
ADAMS MOM
Well boo on Aggie then.
JILLIAN
Yeah, boo on her.
ADAM
Meh, screw her.
233
234
ADAMS MOM
Thats right. Theres plenty of better
girls, nice ones, out there.
ADAM
Sort of speaking of thatI have an
announcement to make.
ADAMS DAD
Youre finally going gay?
ADAM
No dad, Im not going gay. And get
off that fascination, such old thinking.
ADAMS MOM
What is it then Adam?
ADAM
Im moving to San Francisco.
ADAMS MOM
You are?
ADAM
Yeah, what do you think?
The table goes silent for a few moments until Adams mom
speaks up.
ADAMS MOM
I think thats great!
This leads some of the other family members to applaud, nod
their heads affirmatively and show other signs of support.
Wait, what?
ADAM
You do?
ADAMS MOM
Absolutely!
JILLIAN
Yeah, we all do.
ADAM
Am I living in a bizzaro world or something?

ADAMS MOM
No, I just think it sounds like a good
plan. You need to mix things up a bit,
get a new start, re-energize your life.
ADAM
So you dont mind that Ill be living
clear across the country?
ADAMS MOM
Well its not the ideal situation, but
I think its the right move for you.
ADAM
Im really, truly flabbergasted by
this. I thought youd try to talk me
out of this.
ADAMS MOM
Look, we just want whats best for
you, and I think this is it.
ADAM
Jillian?
JILLIAN
I agree, I think its a great move for
you. Get a different perspective on
life. I love that youre going to San
Francisco too. Expect us to crash in
your guest bedroom from time to time,
especially when I have to go to Silicon
Valley for meetings.
ADAM
No problem, mi casa es su casa.
JILLIAN
I know a lot of great restaurants out
there too that I can tell you about.
ADAM
Great, Ill take whatever advice you
can give me later.
ADAMS MOM
You just have to promise to call your
mother at least once a week when you
move.
235
236
ADAM
I dont even do that now.
ADAMS MOM
Yeah, but its different.
ADAM
How so? I dont live close to you
now as it is.
ADAMS MOM
Well youll be further away and the
west coast scares me. So I think that
warrants you calling me once a week
at least, just so I can make sure
youre alive and well.
ADAM
I hate using the phone.
learn Skype.
You should
ADAMS MOM
What the hell is Skype?
ADAM
(rolls his eyes)
FaceTime it is then.
ADAMS MOM
I dont know what FaceTime is either.
ADAM
Dont worry, Ill teach you it later.
ADAMS MOM
Thank you. Anyways, I think this calls
for a toast.
Adams mom lifts up her glass of wine.
ADAMS MOM (contd)
Congratulations to Adam, we wish you
all the success in the world.
Everyone else around the table lifts their glasses of wine,
while Ronald lifts his sippy cup filled with milk.
EVERYONE AT THE TABLE
Congrats Adam!
237
Adam makes the effort to clink glasses with everyone around

the table ending with Ronald, who he carefully clinks his
wine glass with his sippy cup, before taking a drink.
EXT. POST OFFICE, UPPER EAST SIDE
Adam walks out of the post office as he reviews an
official-looking document in his hand.
ADAM (V.O.)
My impending move really started to
hit me when I filled out my change
of address form at the local post
officeeven though I pay all my bills
electronically and havent received
an important piece of mail in over
five years. Not to mention I dont
really have any idea where Im living
in San Francisco yet. Sure Ill be
in corporate housing for the first
few weeks but after that, who knows?
Im just winging it for the most part.
But just seeing this official document
in my hands that says I wont be living
at the address that Ive been living
at for more than a decade anymore makes
my move really feel real.
EXT. STATEN ISLAND FERRY DAY
Adam is standing along the side of the top deck drinking a
tall boy beer as the ferry heads to Staten Island from
Manhattan.
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
It was because of this that I decided
to take a day to myself and do the
things in the city that Ive never
done before, mostly touristy things.
I mean, as an unofficial official New
York City ambassador in San Francisco
I cant have people asking me about
the Statue of Liberty knowing full
well that Ive never been there myself.
(pauses)
Unfortunately, I quickly realized
that I had no idea how to get to the
(MORE)

ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
Statue of Liberty or Ellis Island and
when I did figure it out it seemed
overly complicated. So I did the next
best thing, I boarded the totally free
Staten Island Ferry which features
totally cheap tall boys.
Adam takes pictures of the Statue of Liberty as the ferry
passes by it.
ADAM (V.O.)
Besides, the ferry passes close enough
by the Statue of Liberty that it almost
feels like Im on the island. Im
sure I can just Photoshop myself into
her crown later.
EXT. STATEN ISLAND FERRY ST. GEORGE TERMINAL DAY
ADAM (V.O.)
Ahh yes, finally I get to step foot
on Staten Island.
Adam walks outside and stands right in front of the
terminal as he takes in the scene around him.
ADAM
Alright, so this is Staten Island.
After only a few brief seconds, Adam takes a deep breath
then heads back into the terminal.
EXT. STATEN ISLAND FERRY DAY
Adam is again standing along the side of the top deck
drinking a tall boy beer as the ferry heads back to
Manhattan.
ADAM (V.O.)
I can now cross Staten Island off my
list, things are getting done today!
He grabs his iPhone and takes a few pictures of the
beautiful Manhattan skyline as the ferry gets closer and
closer to it.
238
239
ADAM (V.O.)
Up next is the Brooklyn Bridge.
EXT. EDGE OF BROOKLYN BRIDGE, MANHATTAN DAY
Adam is looking at the length of the Brooklyn Bridge from
the edge of the path on the Manhattan side.
ADAM
(shaking his head)
Fuck that.
ADAM (V.O.)
The Brooklyn Bridge looks a lot smaller
on TV. Do they really expect people
to walk this? I guess people do, but
anyways I quickly realized it really
wasnt my thing.
INT. JOES SHANGHAI, CHINATOWN
Adam is sitting by himself at a crowded table of 10 which
is filled with a loud ASIAN FAMILY who are literally
talking over and around him.
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
It just wasnt for me. I mean what
were my options for when I made it to
the other side? Walk back? Take a
taxi back? Either way Id end up
back where I started but an hour or
so later, that lack of progress didnt
make much sense especially since I
have so much to do today.
A waiter places a bowl of soup dumplings down in front of
him which he immediately digs into.
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
So I did the next best thing, I ate
soup dumplings at Joes Shanghai in
Chinatown. If youve never had soup
dumplings I urge you to go out and
have them immediately. Theyre not
just dumplings, theyre soup dumplings.
Adam is struggling to place a dumpling onto his little
spoon then he struggles to poke a hole into the dumpling to
let the juices out.
240
Once he finally pokes a hole in it, the hot juices squirt

out and hit his shirt and the side of his face.
Hes able to get the remaining juice into the spoon which
he manages to slurp up while he holds the dumpling in a
couple of fingers on his other hand.
After hes done slurping the juice, he struggles to place
the dumpling back onto the spoon. It takes him a few tries
but he finally succeeds then eats it in two bites.
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
And theyre messy as hell.
INT. CANAL STREET SUBWAY STATION
Adam is standing on the 4 & 6 train platform patiently
waiting for a subway.
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
With lunch done, my plan was to go
to the Bronx Zoo for the afternoon
but it was so far away from where I
was and I had already waited for the
subway for over five minutes, there
was no telling when this train would
come. Besides, I just recently saw
the penguins at the Central Park Zoo
so I think that satisfies my zoological
curiosities.
(pauses)
I proactively crossed off the Empire
State Building from my to do list
since I live on the 26th floor of my
apartment building. I mean, come on,
what really is the difference between
a 26th floor and 102nd floor view?
Probably not much. So instead I decided
to have some frozen hot chocolate for
dessert at Serendipity 3.
INT. SERENDIPITY 3 RESTAURANT, UPPER EAST SIDE
Adam is sitting by himself at a very small table for two
looking very much out of place as hes surrounded by scores
of KIDS, FAMILIES and GROUPS OF TEENAGE GIRLS.
241
Hes awkwardly sipping his huge frrrozen hot chocolate

through a long straw. When he gets to the end, he makes
loud slurping sounds in an effort to get every last drop.
ADAM
This was enjoyable.
ADAM (V.O.)
Admittedly, I didnt do the best job
of planning out my next stop.
INT. BLOOMINGDALES, MENS FITTING ROOM
Adam is looking at himself intently in the mirror as he
tries on a couple different Hugo Boss sports jackets.
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
I decided to spoil myself by getting
a new sports jacket from the world
famous Bloomingdales, sort of as a
going-away gift to myself. Of course,
I probably shouldve come here before
I had that five pound hot chocolate,
but whatever, Ill just suck in my
gut even more.
A BLOOMINGDALES SALES ASSOCIATE knocks on the door then
immediately walks into the room.
BLOOMINGDALES SALES ASSOCIATE
How are we looking?
ADAM
I think I found a winner.
Great, which one?
ADAM
The one that Im wearing.
Fits good?
The sales associate runs his hands across the jacket and
checks his sleeves and how much room he has under his arms
and around his stomach.
242
ADAM
It does.
Adam stands up straight, with his head tilted slightly
back, and looks at himself confidently in the mirror again.
ADAM (contd)
Im sold, Ill take it!
ADAM (V.O.)
It was now time for my last stop on
my tourist for a day trip around
the city, St. Patricks Cathedral.
EXT. ST. PATRICKS CATHEDRAL, MIDTOWN MANHATTAN DAY
Adam walks up the steps among the crowd to enter the
church.
ADAM (V.O.)
As a non-practicing Catholic that may
or may not believe in God and who has
done some downright questionable
things in his life, I just hoped I
wouldnt go up in flames as I entered
the cathedral.
INT. ST. PATRICK CATHEDRAL
He enters the cavernous church and looks around at the
intricate designs and moldings on the walls.
Since there is no mass currently going on, he decides to
kneel down in one of the pews towards the back, drape his
newly bought sports jacket over it, and pray.
ADAM (V.O.)
God, I havent been to a church in
years, I mean not real church, the
occasional wedding and funeral dont
count. Lets see if I remember how
to do this.
ADAM
(whispers)
Dear God, how the hell are you? I
mean how are you? Its your old friend,
Adam Hall. You may remember me from
(MORE)

ADAM (contd)
my First Communion, countless years of
Sunday school and Confirmation; sorry
I never went to Catholic high school,
but it wasnt really my choice, I was
always a public school kind of kid, no
offense. You might have forgotten
about me though since Confirmation
because I havent exactly been a good
practicing Catholic over the last
twenty yearsand based on how my
personal life has gone over that time,
Im willing to bet that you have forgotten about me. But I understand
that, youre well within youre right
to do that, youre a busy guy with a
lot on your plate, so when you have
to prioritize I understand that you
would make time for those that make
time for you. Totally get that.
But I say, let bygones be bygones.
Were both adults and Im sure we
can move on from this and start anew.
So in the spirit of that, Im asking
you, or one could say that Im praying,
for everything to work out with my
move to San Francisco. If youve
been following my life lately, and
again, I know youre busy, but if
youve been following it you probably
know that the last couple of years
have been a little fucked up for me,
ummm, I mean, a mess, a mess, totally
a mess and not what I said before.
I just want to have a good life out
there, do a good job at work, have
a great work-life balance, meet some
cool people and who knows what else.
I just dont want to get into any more
bad situations or bad relationships
or bad anything for that matter, I
want to leave that all behind me in
New York City. I truly want to start
anew, a new life with new adventures.
I hope thats not a hard request to
grant and if theres anyone in the
world that can do that, I think its
you, actually I know its you. So
(MORE)
243
244
ADAM (contd)
what do you say? Will you help me
out, for old time sake? I know
youre a very busy man, so Ill let
you mull it over for a bit but I hope
youll remember the good times between
us, the First Communion and the
Confirmation especially, while also
forgetting that time I had sex in a
church bathroom during a wedding
ceremony, and decide that, despite
what you may have heard from others,
especially from some ex-girlfriends
possibly, Im actually worthy of
having my prayers answered in the
affirmative.
(pauses)
OK, Ill let you go now. Thank you
very much Jesus. Youre the man.
(pauses)
Ill be sure to do five Our Fathers
and six Hail Marys when I get home
for good measure tooand if you want
me to do anything else for you just
give me a sign.
Adam sits there in silence for a moment waiting to see if
anything happens around him that can be construed as a
sign, but he doesnt notice anything.
ADAM (contd)
OK, I think were good, thanks again
Jesus!
Adam does the sign of the cross and stands up to leave.
ADAM (V.O.)
Now its off to dinner where I have
to finally tell Anthony and Mark
that Im leaving New York.
(sarcastically)
This should be fun.
INT. ANGUS CLUB STEAKHOUSE, MIDTOWN MANHATTAN
Adam, Mark and Anthony are sitting around having a cocktail
in an empty side room of an upscale steakhouse when several
waiters come by their table to drop off their steaks.

A huge platter which is practically overflowing with a
porterhouse steak is placed right in front of Mark and
Anthony.
Once the steaks are put on the table, a seemingly endless
parade of sides are then set down.
MARK
Well I will say that Adam is a man of
his word.
ANTHONY
He certainly is.
ADAM
Did you guys really feel the need to
order the steak for four between the
two of you?
MARK
No.
ANTHONY
Look wed rather be stuffed and have
leftovers than still be hungry at the
end of dinner.
MARK
Yeah, what kind of host would leave
their guests hungry?
ANTHONY
A not very good one.
ADAM
(frustrated)
OK, I get it.
MARK
Relax, were just messing with you guy.
ADAM
Oh Im relaxed, I dont think my bank
account will be though at the end of
this meal.
MARK
There you go sounding cheap again, its
not a good look.
245

ANTHONY
Definitely not.
ADAM
Im not cheap.
MARK
Then sack up and take your soon to be
outrageously huge dinner bill like a
man.
ADAM
I am, I will.
MARK
Besides, this is all your fault for
making that stupid bet.
ANTHONY
Speaking of that, have you learned your
lesson?
MARK
You know Adam will never learn his
lesson. Hes exactly who Einstein was
thinking of when he explained his
definition of insanity.
ADAM
No, Ive learned my lesson, believe me
you know Im not looking forward to
paying this check.
ANTHONY
And what lesson did you learn?
Adam, unsure of the actual answer, thinks for a moment.
ADAM
Put Bianca in the past because it only
brings me more heartache and dont
contact her again.
MARK
Very good.
ANTHONY
And are you going to contact her again?
246
247
ADAM
No.
MARK
And you havent contacted her since you
lost the bet?
ADAM
No.
Both Mark and Anthony look at him skeptically.
MARK
Bullshit.
ADAM
No, I havent.
MARK
Still bullshit.
ANTHONY
OK, lets lay off Adam, its water under
the bridge. Were getting our free meal
and if Adam wants to dig himself deeper
into the hole that is his life, then
hes completely entitled to do so.
ADAM
Thank you Anthony, finally someone
other than me is a voice of reason.
Mark takes the first bite into the porterhouse.
ANTHONY
How is it?
MARK
Its friggin good.
He quickly takes another piece from off the plate and bites
into it.
MARK (contd)
Like really good.
ADAM
So guys, I have to tell you something.
Youre gay?
ANTHONY
Its cool, we dont care.
ADAM
Why the hell does everyone think Im gay?
MARK
Because youre in your late-thirties
and have never been married? Like
Anthony said, its cool, we dont care.
In fact, Im proud of you.
ANTHONY
I am too.
ADAM
First of all, Im still in my mid-thirties.
MARK
(interrupts)
No, youre actually not dumbass.
ADAM (contd)
(ignores Mark)
and, besides that, its a scientific
fact that people are getting married
much later in life now, Im just saying.
MARK
Yeah but they mean late-twenties, earlythirties, youre fuckability expiration
date has long since passed.
ADAM
Nah its different for guys than girls,
we have a longer shelf life.
MARK
Maybe for guys like George Clooney,
Brad Pitt and Ryan Gosling. Not for
guys like Adam Hall.
ANTHONY
That is true.
ADAM
I dont know why I try to tell you
guys anything.
248

ANTHONY
OK then, whats up, what do you want
to say?
ADAM
I dont know if I should say anything now.
MARK
Oh come on, dont be a passive /
aggressive bitch. We dont need that
bullshit tonight.
ADAM
OK, are you going to take this serious?
MARK
It depends on what youre going to say.
ADAM
Fuck it, never mind.
MARK
Stop. Im just kidding. Of course
well take whatever you say seriously.
Adam looks at Anthony until he answers as well.
ANTHONY
Yes.
ADAM
OK, well, Im moving to San Francisco.
MARK
Its about fucking time.
ADAM
What?
MARK
Well I dont mean San Francisco
specifically, but its about time
you get the fuck out of this city.
ADAM
Really?
MARK
Really.
249

Mark looks at Anthony again to get his reaction.
ADAM
Really?
ANTHONY
(nods his head yes)
Really.
MARK
Lets just say its a move that was
way overdue.
ANTHONY
Yeah, you shouldve moved a few years
agoI mean if were just being honest.
MARK
At least a few years ago. I actually
thought you were a little played out
in New York, or New York was a little
played out for you. Either or.
ADAM
(thinking)
Hmmm. Im a little perturbed because
this seems like the prevailing wisdom
among my family, friends and co-workers.
Should I be concerned that I think
maybe everyone secretly hates me?
MARK
Theres no secret about it.
ADAM
What?
(sadly)
Really?
MARK
Im just kidding dude.
ADAM
Why the hell is everyone so happy for
me? Seems a little fucked up.
ANTHONY
Well what did you expect?
250

ADAM
I dont know, maybe a short protest
and when that didnt work the shedding
of a few tears?
ANTHONY
OK, that wasnt going to happen regardless.
ADAM
A guy could dream though.
ANTHONY
Well Im sure its just one of many,
many dreams that dont come true for
you.
ADAM
(sarcastically)
Gee, thanks.
ANTHONY
Ahhh, you know Im just busting balls.
MARK
So when are you leaving?
ADAM
Sunday night.
MARK
Jesus, already?
ADAM
Yeah, Im transferring offices at work
and, honestly, Im all ready to go,
you know I dont have much to pack and
my company is paying the moving fees.
It all happened so quick, but Im
excited for the change of pace, at
least for a little bit.
ANTHONY
Well damn, this calls for another round
of shots.
MARK
Absolutely, right?
251

Anthony shouts out to the waiter whos a couple tables
away.
ANTHONY
Waiter, another round of Woodfords
please!
(looks at Adam)
What the hell, its not my tab, right?
ADAM
(shakes his head)
Right.
MARK
Well guys, I guess theres only one
thing left to do.
Mark flashes a knowing smile to Anthony.
ANTHONY
Yep, and our hands are tied on this
one. Weve got to do what weve got
to do, right?
MARK
(smiles)
Right.
ADAM
Whats that?
MARK
Time to set up the best and baddest
going away party ever.
ANTHONY
Lets fucking party!
ADAM
Ill put you in charge of that Anthony,
if we leave it to Mark hell just pick
the second floor of Whitneys.
MARK
Hey, Im a creature of habit.
ADAM
Yes, you are, not me. This is New York
(MORE)
252

ADAM (contd)
City, the home to literally thousands
of bars but yet you go to the same two
spots all the time. I dont want to
go to the same ole, same ole, I mean
we can eventually end up at one of our
regular spots but I want something
different, something a little more,
special.
ANTHONY
I got it, Stumble Inn on the Upper East
Side.
ADAM
(uninterested)
Meh, Stumble Inn? You know I love that
place but Im not sure its the best
for our purposes.
ANTHONY
Yeah, Stumble Inn, its got that private
room in the back, remember?
ADAM
(excitedly)
Ahhh, Stumble Inn! I forgot about the
backroom.
MARK
Ugh, I hate Stumble Inn.
ANTHONY
Why, because too many young, hot, single
girls go there?
MARK
No because douchebags go there.
ADAM
Well Mark, luckily its not your going
away party, its mine. So you have
no say in the matter. When its your
going away party, then itll be your
choice, but right now, its not yours,
its mine.
253
254
ANTHONY
Well rent out the backroom anyways
so we wont be around douchebags.
MARK
Yeah, but Im sure Adams co-workers
will be there though.
ADAM
Oh, very funny. You know all advertising
people arent that bad.
MARK
Theyre not that good either.
ANTHONY
So Stumble Inn?
ADAM
Oh yes, Im totally down with it.
ANTHONY
Good, Ill book the room tomorrow.
ADAM
Let me do it, just so I can make sure
it actually gets done.
ANTHONY
Fine with me, just another thing off
my plate.
ADAM
Whatever, you dont have anything on
your plate to begin with.
ANTHONY
My wife and kids take up enough of my
plate.
The waiter comes back to the table and delivers three shots
of Woodford Reserve Bourbon.
MARK
OK, get em up guys.
The guys pick up the shots and cheers.
255
MARK (contd)
Cheers guys.
ADAM & ANTHONY
Cheers!
MARK
To Adam, good luck my manand hopefully
this move means that you wont actually
die alone.
ANTHONY
Here, here.
ADAM
Thanks assholes.
All three of them down their shots. Afterwards, Mark and
Anthony playfully hug Adam from their seats.
Moving boxes are scattered around the nearly empty room;
each are meticulously labeled with things like pots &
pans, bowls & plates, and clothing.
Pictures have been taken off the wall and the couch and TV
are covered in blankets.
Adam walks into the room carrying a large box, he stubs his
toe when he walks directly into another one because he
doesnt see it.
ADAM
(shouts out)
God damn it.
He sets the box down in the corner then looks around for
the duct tape and, when he finally finds it, rips off a few
pieces to tape up the box.
Next he walks over to a box thats labeled Mementoes and
carries it to the couch where he sits down and begins to go
through it.
There are assorted ticket stubs from countless sporting
events, Broadway Playbills, nametags from various
conferences and other mementoes in the box.
256
Although he sets most items aside to be put back in the box

later, he oddly doesnt feel too nostalgic about his stuff
as he flips through everything rather quickly.
A few random items, mostly his nametags, do find their way
into a trash bag that is sitting next to him on the floor.
As he continues going through the box, he comes upon a
picture of himself with Bianca at a Manchester United vs.
Barcelona exhibition game in FedEx Field in Washington, DC.
He looks at the picture for a moment then puts it down on
his lap so that he can grab his iPhone. He immediately
goes on his Gmail and types a quick email to Bianca Hey
just wanted to let you know that Im moving to SF. I kinda
think that I mostly have you to thank for that so I just
thought Id let you know. Hope youre doing well.
Adam sends the email, puts his iPhone down then holds up
the picture and looks at it again, no doubt reminiscing
about the past.
After a few moments, he subtly shakes his head then
casually tosses the picture into the trash bag.
He continues looking through his mementoes box while
periodically throwing out some stuff.
The garbage slowly begins to cover the picture in the trash
bag until it finally vanishes underneath the other
discarded pictures, papers and nametags being thrown out.
INT. STUMBLE INN BAR, UPPER EAST SIDE
PRIVATE BACKROOM
Dozens of Adams FAMILY, FRIENDS and assorted CO-WORKERS
are assembled in a private room in the back of Stumble Inn
celebrating his going-away party.
His parents and sister are there along with Richard and
Ronald. His best friends Mark and Anthony are also in
attendance along with his boss, Vincent. The rest of the
people are a mixed crowd of MALE and FEMALE FRIENDS and
COW-WORKERS, of course there are no ex-girlfriends in
attendance.
Adam is standing with Vincent and a few co-workers at the
bar having an Irish Car Bomb. They drop their shots into
257
the glass then chug their Guinnesss before emphatically

slamming their glasses down on the bar.
ADAM
God damn Im going to be hammered soon.
VINCENT
Soon? Im already hammered. Ha, its
just like Adam to come in second place
after me.
Vincent drapes his arm around Adams shoulder as the other
co-workers disperse into the crowd.
VINCENT
(drunkenly)
Ill tell you what though, and its
not just the booze talking, but Im
actually going to miss your stupidlooking face.
ADAM
(surprised)
You will sir?
VINCENT
Yes. I know I can be a bit of a ballbuster sometimes
ADAM
Sometimes?
VINCENT (contd)
But youre a good kid.
ADAM
Thank you sir.
VINCENT
A real mensch, or whatever it is they
call you Jews.
ADAM
(confused)
Im not Jewish.
VINCENT
Hmmm, you couldve fooled me.
258
ADAM
What are we even talking about right now?
VINCENT
Basically what Im saying is that I
want you to go out there to San
Francisco and kick some ass, I know
you will.
ADAM
Thank you sir, that means a lot coming
from you.
VINCENT
Good, it should. My words have weight.
ADAM
It does, they do.
VINCENT
Now I have to take a raging piss. Ive
drank so much, this stream might last
for five minutes.
ADAM
Thanks for letting me know that sir.
Vincent pats Adam on the back then races through the crowd
towards the restroom.
After he leaves, Adam walks away from the bar and through a
gauntlet of WELL-WISHERS.
A FEMALE FRIEND gives him a kiss on the cheek.
FEMALE FRIEND AT GOING-AWAY PARTY
Good luck Adam.
ADAM
Thank you.
He continues walking for a few more steps until a MALE
FRIEND shakes his hand while another one pats him on the
back.
MALE FRIEND AT GOING-AWAY PARTY #1
Knock em dead out there bro!
259
ADAM
Thank you, thank you.
MALE FRIEND AT GOING-AWAY PARTY #2
Yeah, I want you to kill it out there,
hopefully youll meet a nice Asian girl
and wife her up.
ADAM
I fucking hope so too, dude.
Adam walks by SEVERAL OTHER FRIENDS who all shake his hand,
pat him on the back or give him some other greeting.
While hanging out with a few friends, he sees that Jillian
and Richard are preparing to leave so he walks up to them.
Shes carrying a sleeping Ronald against her shoulder.
ADAM
You guys are going?
JILLIAN
Yeah, its way past Ronnies bedtime.
Adam gently rubs Ronalds hair, being careful to not wake
him up.
ADAM
Alrighty then. So I guess Ill see
you guys when I see you.
JILLIAN
I guess so.
Jillian awkwardly high fives her brother.
JILLIAN (contd)
Thanksgiving weekend?
ADAM
Yeah, maybe. Not sure yet, Ill have
to see how acclimated I get by then,
or how much I miss home by that point.
Cool.
JILLIAN
Well, alright, have fun out there.
ADAM
Thanks.
260
Richard shakes Adams hand.

RICHARD
Good luck, Adam.
ADAM
Thank you, Ill see you around. Tell
Ronnie that I said bye when he wakes up.
JILLIAN
Will do.
Jillian and Richard head out of the bar just as Adams mom
approaches him.
ADAMS MOM
Did you say goodbye to your sister and
Richard?
ADAM
I did.
ADAMS MOM
Are you going to miss them?
ADAM
Sure, I mean whos going to be around
to teach my nephew how to throw a
curveball or shoot a basketball?
Your ex-husband?
Adam points over to his dad who is taking shots with a few
of his YOUNGER, FEMALE CO-WORKERS.
ADAMS MOM
Good point.
Adam looks down at her nearly empty glass of wine.
ADAM
Looks like your almost out of wine,
why dont you go up to the bar and
get yourself a drink on my tab.
ADAMS MOM
Dont mind if I do.
Mark and Anthony walk up to Adam with Chrissy in toe as his
mother walks over to the bar.
261
ANTHONY
Hey Adam, look who we found!
ADAM
Hey Chrissy.
Adam greets her with a kiss on the cheek.
CHRISSY
Hello Hall.
ANTHONY
I think Mark and I are going to have
a drink with your mom at the bar.
ADAM
OK, no funny business with her though.
MARK
What do you think, were going to fuck
your mom?
CHRISSY
Wow.
ADAM
Eww no, I just meant dont get her
drunk asshole.
MARK
Ohhhno promises.
Mark and Anthony walk over to the bar to have a drink with
Adams mom leaving Adam and Chrissy alone to chat.
CHRISSY
So youre moving? Like leaving New York?
Yep.
ADAM
Going to San Francisco.
CHRISSY
I love it out there, especially Napa
Valley. How come youre moving?
ADAM
I just thought it was time.

CHRISSY
Time for what?
ADAM
A new beginning.
CHRISSY
Thats deep.
ADAM
Its not supposed to be. I just
simply want to go somewhere else, do
something different for a while and
meet new people while Im at it.
CHRISSY
Are you excited?
ADAM
Yes and no. Like 80% yes, 20% no,
well maybe more like 75% yes, 25% no.
Somewhere in that range, I think.
(sounding unsure of
himself)
Yeah probably somewhere in that range.
CHRISSY
So theres part of you thats not excited?
ADAM
I guess you can say that.
CHRISSY
Then why are you going?
ADAM
Its complicated.
CHRISSY
God, you sound like my Facebook status
from 2010.
ADAM
Sorry for sounding like a chick, but,
I mean, it is what it is.
CHRISSY
OK, Ill leave it at that.
a permanent move?
So is this
262

ADAM
No, Im thinking a few years, then
come back maybe. Ill see how it goes.
CHRISSY
OK, thats cool.
ADAM
Hopefully.
Adam and Chrissy each have a sip of their drinks while
enduring a few moments of awkward silence until Chrissy
finally speaks up.
CHRISSY
How come we never grabbed that drink
way back when?
ADAM
Its a long story.
CHRISSY
Well Im sure there was a good reason.
ADAM
(thinking)
Nah, looking back there really wasnt.
Thats my fault, Im sorry about that.
CHRISSY
Its OK. I guess we were like two ships
passing in the night.
ADAM
You could certainly say that.
Mark and Anthony walk back over and re-join Adam and
Chrissy.
ANTHONY
Whats going on guys?
ADAM
Nothing, just catching up. Its been
a while since weve seen each other.
CHRISSY
I think Im going to grab a drink
(MORE)
263
264
CHRISSY (contd)
and say hi to a few people I see
over there.
ADAM
OK, Ill see you later.
Chrissy walks away as the three guys tighten up the circle
theyre standing in.
ANTHONY
Too bad you guys never got together,
I thought you two would be good.
Adam looks at Chrissy longingly as she mingles with people
on the other side of the room.
ADAM
Yeah, me too.
He shakes his head, seemingly shaking himself out of a
self-induced trance, and looks back at his two friends.
ADAM (contd)
Oh well.
MARK
So how you doing?
ADAM
What do you mean?
MARK
How are you doing, you know, like in life?
ADAM
Fine, just fine.
ANTHONY
You having fun tonight?
ADAM
(distracted again)
Yeah absolutely.
MARK
Youre not going to cry in front of us,
are you?

ADAM
No, its just kind of all hitting me
right now. Like its real, its
happening. Im going to be leaving
soon, like really, really soon. Like
tomorrow.
ANTHONY
You nervous?
ADAM
A little bit.
ANTHONY
Ahhh, nothing to be worried about.
Me and Mark will be out there for a
weekend before you know it.
MARK
Yeah, were going to head out there
for a football game in the Fall.
ANTHONY
Its going to be awesome.
ADAM
As long as you losers get a hall pass.
MARK
Hey, well get it.
Adam flashes them a doubtful look.
ADAM
Ill believe it when I see it.
ANTHONY
I mean, we may have to bring our wives.
ADAM
Dont even joke about that asshole.
ANTHONY
Im just kiddingkinda.
ADAM
No youre not, I mean what the fuck
guys? You both let your wives go on
(MORE)
265
266
ADAM (contd)
vacation with their friends all the
time but when we wanted to get away
one time, just one time, every excuse
under the sun was made by both of
you. I mean, god damn, how long
did we try to plan a golf weekend
to South Carolina? Three, four
years? And we never did it. We
never fucking did it but all the
while your wives were going down to
Miami for bachelorette weekends or
New Orleans for fucking Mardi Gras,
like who lets their wife go down
to Mardi Gras with her friends?
Thats fucked up. So now you want
me to believe you guys are going
to magically show up in San
Francisco for a weekend? Get out
of here.
MARK
(unimpressed)
Are you done with your rant now?
ADAM
I just want you fuckers to get your
balls out of your wives purses.
ANTHONY
Hey, well be out there.
ADAM
You guys better.
ANTHONY
We will.
MARK
You know, I dont even know what the
hell there is to do out in San Fran
besides catching the game, but Im
sure itll be fun regardless.
As Mark and Anthony talk, Adam covertly pulls his iPhone
out of his pants pocket and checks his texts, there are no
new ones.
267
ANTHONY
Well figure it out. They do have
great cocktail bars out there.
MARK
Big deal, as long as a bartender can
mix Captain Morgan with diet coke,
Im all good.
ANTHONY
Mark, youre always so adventurous.
Mark and Anthony notice that Adam isnt very engaged in the
conversation.
MARK
Yo, Adam, you still with us?
ADAM
(distracted)
Yeah, its going to be a great weekend.
ANTHONY
It is, its going to kick ass.
ADAM
Excuse me for a bit, I have to pee.
Adam leaves and walks over to the
RESTROOM
Where he enters and stands in front of a urinal but instead
of peeing, he checks Gmail on his iPhone.
He scrolls through his emails but doesnt see any recent
replies from Bianca.
Dejected, he puts his phone away but after a few seconds of
just standing there and thinking, he takes it out again.
He opens the contact list on his phone, enters Bianca
into the search, clicks on her name when it pops up and,
just like hes done several times in the past, deletes her
entry yet again.
Next he goes into the settings on his Facebook app and
proactively blocks her so hes not tempted to ever look at
her profile again.
268
After that he puts his phone away again, flushes the urinal
even though he never used it, washes his hands and leaves.
LATER ON PRIVATE BACKROOM
Adam is hanging out at the bar with a couple FEMALE FRIENDS
when the bartender drops off a double shot of whiskey.
He calls out to his mom as soon as he gets the shot.
ADAM
Yo mom, come over here!
His mom makes her way through the crowd and gets to the
bar.
ADAMS MOM
Yes my favorite son, you beckoned?
ADAM
You know how you always say that you
want to be one of the guys?
ADAMS MOM
(confused)
Not really.
ADAM
(ignores her answer)
Well heres your chance. I got you
a double shot of Jack, and I want
you to down it.
ADAMS MOM
A double shot?
ADAM
Yes, a double shot because youre twice
as awesome as other moms.
ADAMS MOM
Awww, thats sweet, but I dont know.
ADAM
Come on, all the cool kids are doing,
youre not a dork, are you?
ADAMS MOM
No, Im not a dork.
269
ADAM
Then prove it.
ADAMS MOM
(thinking)
OK, give me that shot glass.
Adam picks up the shot and hands it to her.
ADAMS MOM (contd)
Wheres yours?
I just did one.
ADAM
OK, you ready?
ADAMS MOM
I think so.
ADAM
On three thenonetwothree!
Adams mom slowly begins to sip her shot as his female
friends cheer her on and Adam hazes her.
Come on pledge!
ADAM
Lets go pledge!
Adam decides to help her by nudging the shot glass up ever

so slightly. His mom tries to push him away but it doesnt
work.
ADAM (contd)
Come on pledge! You drink like a
bitch! Come on pledge! OK, youve
got it! Youve got it! Youve almost
got it!
Some of the whiskey starts spilling on her face and blouse
as she gets close to finishing it.
Once its finally done, she slams the shot glass down on
the bar.
ADAMS MOM
(excitedly)
Oh boy, I did it, I did it!
Adams mom gives the female friends high-fives.
270
ADAM
Thats what Im talking about!
Adam gives his mom a high-five, the strength of which hurts
her hand so she grabs it in pain.
ADAMS MOM
Owww.
Ouch.
ADAM
Ahhh, toughen up mom.
Toughen up?
of Jack!
ADAMS MOM
I just did a double shot
ADAM
Yes you did mom, yes you did.
Meanwhile, Mark, Anthony and Adams dad are at the other
end of the bar with Irish Car Bombs in front of them. The
two guys are teaching Adams dad how to properly drink one.
All three of them lift up their shots.
MARK
OK Mr. Hall, youre going to want to
drop your shot right into the Guinness
and pound the drink as quickly as
possible before it has a chance to
curdle. You definitely dont want
that to happen.
ADAMS DAD
OK, got it, so are we going to do this?
MARK
I love the excitement.
get set, go!
On your mark,
The three drop the shots into their glasses and pound their
drinks.
ADAMS DAD
That was nice. Line them up again!
Line them up again! On Adams tab.
ANTHONY
You sure you want another one?
271
ADAMS DAD
Listen guys, Ive been drinking since
before you were sperm in your dads
balls. I think I know how not to be
a pussy, unlike your stupid Millennial
generation. Line them up again!
ANTHONY
Were not Millennials though Mr. Hall.
ADAMS DAD
Ohh, who gives a shit. Youre all a
bunch of young assholes to me.
MARK
Haha, I love when drunk Mr. Hall comes
out to play.
The bartender comes by to line up three more Irish Car
Bombs. Adams dad leans over to the bartender so she can
hear him.
ADAMS DAD
You might as well just go ahead and
pour us three more Irish Car Bombs.
On Adams tab.
The three drop the shots into their glasses and pound their
drinks again.
This round is a little harder for them to get down, but
they do it, slam their empty glasses on the bar and wince.
LATER ON
The crowd has thinned out just slightly as it gets later
into the night.
Mark, Anthony and Adam are hanging out together having a
drink at the bar when Anthony notices Adams divorced
parents making out at the end of the bar.
ANTHONY
(laughs)
Holy shit!
ADAM
(confused)
What?
272
Anthony points to Adams parents.

ANTHONY
Its your parents bro.
ADAM
What about them?
Mark also notices the make-out session before Adam does
since his back is turned to them.
MARK
(laughs)
Oh, god damn! Thats hilarious!
ANTHONY
Adam, Adam, I think hes going to
pork her Adam!
ADAM
What?
Adam finally turns around and is mortified to see his
parents kissing.
ADAM
Mom?!?
He walks over to the other end of the bar to confront them.
ADAM (contd)
(disgusted)
What are you guys doing?
Theyre so drunk that they dont even stop making out even
as Adam stands right in front of them.
ADAMS MOM
Reliving the old days.
ADAM
But you guys are divorced!
ADAMS MOM
So?
ADAM
OK, thats it, break it up.
273
Adam physically separates them from each other and looks at

them disappointedly.
ADAM
Look at you guys, youre both hammered!
ADAMS DAD
So?
ADAM
So? So? I hate having to act like
a parent to you guys all the time.
Its very tiring.
ADAMS MOM
Now you know how it feels.
ADAM
Please, you guys act more like children
than me or Jillian ever did.
ADAMS DAD
(combative)
Yeah right.
ADAM
Maybe you guys should grab a glass of
water to sober up.
ADAMS DAD
Whatever.
(pauses for dramatic effect)
Hey everyone, Im going to go back to
our hotel and fuck my ex-wife!
He says his last line so loud that the remaining crowd
hears him and ROAR their approval.
Adam shakes his head in embarrassment as Mark and Anthony
approach them.
MARK
Damn Mr. Hall, youre a pimp.
ADAMS DAD
(drunkenly)
Im not a pimp, Im a motherfucker.

MARK
(laughs)
Whats that Mr. Hall?
ADAMS DAD
(slurring his words)
You heard me, Im going to fuck Adams
mom tonight, that makes me a motherfucker!
The crowd again ROARS in approval as Mark laughs and pats
Adam, who literally has his head buried in his hands from
embarrassment, on the shoulder.
MARK
Youre right sir, and when youre
right, youre right.
Adam has heard enough and steps in between Mark and his
dad.
ADAM
OK, thats it. I think its past your
bedtimes mom and dad.
ADAMS DAD
Thats fine with me because Ill go
right to bed and
ADAM
(interrupts him)
Dont say it, dont you dare even say it.
ADAMS DAD
What?
Adams dad looks like hes going to continue his sentence
but Adam manages to stop him.
ADAM (contd)
Dont, Im warning you.
(pauses)
OK, time for you guys to go.
He starts leading them towards the door.
ADAM (contd)
Do you guys know how to hail a cab?
274

ADAMS MOM
(drunkenly)
I have no fucking idea how to get a
cab around here. Well just walk back.
ADAMS DAD
Speak for yourself.
ADAMS MOM
OK, can you point us to the train?
ADAM
Youre not taking the subway at this
time, in your condition, and youre
not walking either.
Anthony walks up from behind and stops them.
ANTHONY
Adam, Ill get your parents a cab.
ADAM
Are you sure?
ANTHONY
Yes, its your going-away party, stay
in here and hang out with everybody.
Ill be back in a minute.
ADAM
OK.
Thanks.
ANTHONY
Come on Mr. and Mrs. Hall, Ill get you
guys a cab.
ADAMS MOM
Awww, Anthonys such a nice, kind boy.
ANTHONY
Its my pleasure Mrs. Hall.
Anthony leads Adams parents outside in search of a cab.
ADAM
(sarcastically)
Good luck.
275
276
Chrissy, whos visibly a little tipsy, walks up to Adam and

playfully gives him a punch on his arm which startles him.
CHRISSY
Whats up there slugger?!
ADAM
Oh hey Chrissy, you having a good time?
CHRISSY
Im not going to lie, Im a little drunk.
ADAM
How many beers did you have?
CHRISSY
Four beersand two shots.
But Im fine.
ADAM
Are you OK, do you need some water?
CHRISSY
No, Im good.
Chrissy drunkenly sways a little bit so she puts her hand
on his shoulder to sturdy herself while looking directly
into Adams eyes.
CHRISSY
Youre a nice person Adam.
ADAM
Is that just the booze talking?
CHRISSY
No, Im serious, youre a good, decent
guy.
ADAM
Thanks, and so are you. I mean youre
a girl, not a guy, but you know what I
mean.
CHRISSY
Youre silly too.
Adam puts his arm around her waist to further steady her.
277
ADAM
Ahhh no, stop.
The tension builds as Chrissy continues looking into Adams
eyes as she gets closer to him. She finally says something
after a few moments.
CHRISSY
I need to go home.
ADAM
Are you sure?
CHRISSY
Yeah, I need to grab my Metro North train.
ADAM
OK.
Chrissy steps back and puts her hands on his chest as Adam
releases her from his arm.
CHRISSY
Good luck out there Adam.
Chrissy gives Adam a kiss on the cheek.
Thank you.
ADAM
Good luck here Chrissy.
CHRISSY
Thanks tiger.
ADAM
Do you need me to grab you a cab?
CHRISSY
No, I see Anthony outside, Ill have
him flag one down for me.
ADAM
OK.
CHRISSY
Good luck again Adam. Ill see you
around.
ADAM
Definitely, hopefully.

Chrissy slightly stumbles heading outside as Adam heads
back towards a table in the middle of the room where Mark
is hanging out by himself drinking a Captain & Coke and
checking his cellphone.
ADAM
Who you texting?
MARK
The wife.
ADAM
Where is she tonight?
MARK
Ugh, dont get me started, shes home
sick.
ADAM
What?
Again?
Yep, again.
MARK
She says hi and good luck.
ADAM
Oh, hi.
Adam begins to eye JESSICA, a black cocktail dress-clad
attractive blonde woman in her early-thirties, whos
standing at the bar drinking a white wine by herself.
After admiring her for a few moments, Adam taps Mark and
points over to her.
ADAM
Yo, who is that over there?
MARK
Who?
ADAM
That cute blonde by herself at the bar.
Mark finally notices who hes pointing at.
MARK
I dont know, its your party, shouldnt
you know everyone here?
278

ADAM
You would think right?
MARK
Maybe shes someones boyfriend. Yeah,
shes probably someones boyfriend.
ADAM
Shes very pretty. I think Im going
to go up and say hi, introduce myself.
MARK
OK, but when her boyfriend comes up
dont do anything stupid, I dont
want to get in a fight tonight.
ADAM
I thought you always liked to fight?
MARK
Im trying to cut back to only two
poundings a month.
ADAM
That sounds fair. How many are you up
to so far this month?
MARK
One.
ADAM
Who was that?
MARK
Dont ask. Just some drunk knucklehead
walking down the street.
ADAM
(rolls his eyese)
Of course.
MARK
He was walking down the wrong side of
the street though.
ADAM
And what side was that?
279
280
MARK
The side I was on.
ADAM
OK, Im getting off track.
over there.
Im heading
He begins to walk over towards the bar.

MARK
Good luck, Ill be right here if you
need me.
Adam stands right next to Jessica, who is now busy
scrolling through her iPhone on the bar, as he order a
drink.
ADAM
Excuse me, can I grab a Jack and soda
please?
Adam stands there silently as he waits for his drink, he
subtly looks over to Jessica periodically to see what shes
doing.
After a few moments the bartender comes back to deliver his
drink. He has a sip then continues looking over to see
what Jessica is doing.
Finally he musters up enough nerve to strike up a
conversation with her.
ADAM
Hi there.
JESSICA
(smiles)
Hi.
ADAM
Is that a white wine youre drinking?
JESSICA
It is.
(sarcastically)
Hey, youre pretty observant.
ADAM
Well its a gift.

JESSICA
If its such a gift why dont you
tell me what kind of white wine Im
drinking.
Oh, thats easy.
ADAM
Chardonnay.
JESSICA
(laughs)
Chardonnay?!? Thats such a chick drink!
ADAM
Are you not a chick?
JESSICA
No, Im a woman.
ADAM
Sorry.
JESSICA
And, no, its like a chick chick drink,
like too girly, and Im not that girly.
Im a girl, but not over-the-top girly.
ADAM
OK, got it, youre a girl but not girly.
JESSICA
Try again.
ADAM
Pinot Grigio.
JESSICA
(rolls her eyes)
Ugh, wrong.
ADAM
Must be Sauvignon Blanc then.
JESSICA
Finally, you got it.
Finally?
ADAM
It was only my third guess!
281

JESSICA
There are only so many white wines,
you only had a few guesses.
ADAM
Thats true.
(pauses)
So, Im really sorry to ask you this,
and I dont really know how to ask
you so Ill just come out with my
question.
JESSICA
Go ahead.
ADAM
Do I know you from somewhere?
JESSICA
Why do you think you would know me?
ADAM
Well, this is kind of my going-away
party and I pretty much know everyone
here, everyone except for you, I
think. But Im sorry maybe I do know
you, maybe youre a sales rep, Im
sorry, I know a lot of sales rep and
I just cant place you right now, I
feel like an asshole.
JESSICA
So youre Adam?
ADAM
I am.
JESSICA
Its OK if you dont know me, you
shouldnt. Im friends with your
co-worker, Jeremy.
ADAM
Oh, OK. Well let me formally introduce
myself to you then, I am Adam.
Adam extends his hand which Jessica shakes.
282

JESSICA
Im Jessica.
ADAM
Are you having a good time?
JESSICA
Not bad so far, but I just got here.
ADAM
Oh, where were you before?
JESSICA
I was at Lincoln Center.
ADAM
Fancy.
JESSICA
Yeah, my niece performed with her
school, shes a singer. Thats why
Im totally overdressed for your
occasion and this place in my black
dress.
ADAM
Oh, it looks great though.
JESSICA
Thanks!
ADAM
So Jeremy invited you out?
JESSICA
Yep, he said there would be some
nice single guys here, and since my
gay friends usually have impeccable
taste, I figured Id come by and
check it out.
ADAM
What do you think of the crowd? See
anyone you like? I could probably
put in a good word for you.
Jessica and Adam both scan the room, looking at mostly
couples mingling together and a scattering of single
females and males chatting with each other.
283

After shes done scanning, Jessica sets her eyes on Adam
and smiles.
JESSICA
There might be one or two guys that
I could potentially be interested in.
ADAM
(smiles)
Really?
JESSICA
Are you blushing?
ADAM
(defensively)
No.
JESSICA
I think youre blushing.
ADAM
No, its the alcohol. My face gets
really red when I drink liquor or wine.
JESSICA
And when a girl flirts with you?
ADAM
(laughs)
And probably when a girl flirts with
me, yes.
JESSICA
So if this is your going-away party,
where are you going?
ADAM
San Francisco.
JESSICA
Oh, I love San Francisco. Thats quite
a hike though, why are you moving all
the way out there?
ADAM
Ummm, job opportunity.
284

JESSICA
That makes sense. If you can make
a good career move to a place like
San Francisco, youve got to take it.
ADAM
I totally agree.
JESSICA
So whats your favorite part of San
Francisco?
ADAM
(thinking)
Ummm, the part by the water.
JESSICA
(laughs)
Silly, which one?
ADAM
The Bay.
JESSICA
No, I mean which part by the water.
ADAM
Well to be honest, Ive only been out
there once so I dont really know my
way around the city and what is what.
JESSICA
Youve only been out there once and
youre moving there?
ADAM
Yep.
JESSICA
That takes courage, Im so jealous.
I could never do something like.
ADAM
Well I do have courage, and Im really
adventurous.
Really?
JESSICA
How adventurous are you?
285
Quite.
ADAM
Quite adventurous.
JESSICA
(laughs)
Are you always this awkward?
ADAM
You think Im awkward?
JESSICA
Maybe not overall, but now, yes.
ADAM
Im sorry.
JESSICA
Thats OK, Im sure its the booze
talking.
ADAM
No, its not that. I can drink,
believe me I can drink.
JESSICA
Prove it.
ADAM
Shots?
JESSICA
Sure.
ADAM
What do you want?
JESSICA
Dealers choice.
ADAM
Im usually a whiskey guy, but Ill
grab us tequila.
JESSICA
No, by all means get us whiskey.
ADAM
Nah, its OK.
286

JESSICA
Im a bourbon girl though.
ADAM
(impressed)
Oh, you are?
JESSICA
Indeed.
ADAM
Let me ask you a question, are you
the most perfect girl ever?
JESSICA
I dont mean to be modest but, yes
I am.
ADAM
I like that youre not too full of
yourself.
JESSICA
(laughs)
Im kidding obviously.
ADAM
So when did you start drinking whiskey?
JESSICA
I started drinking it a couple years
ago when I went to the Derby, its
been my drink of choice ever since.
ADAM
Youve been to the Kentucky Derby?
JESSICA
Yep, funny hat and all. I looked like
quite the debutante.
ADAM
Im sure you looked very pretty.
JESSICA
(sarcastically)
I looked adorable!
287
288
ADAM
So Ill get us two Makers.
JESSICA
Ummm, Id rather have Old Forester.
ADAM
(impressed)
You know your whiskey too.
JESSICA
Im no fool.
ADAM
I doubt a place like this has Old
Forester, but Ill see.
JESSICA
Well if they dont, we can go mainstream
and have Makers. Just as long as we
dont have Jim Beam Ill be fine.
Beam, yuck.
ADAM
A girl after my own heart, I love it.
(turns to the bartender)
Excuse me, do you have Old Forester?
STUMBLE INN BARTENDER
Whats Old Forester?
Its a bourbon.
a no.
ADAM
Ill take that as
The bartender turns around to check the shelves of bottles

behind the bar.
STUMBLE INN BARTENDER
No, we have Jim Beam though.
ADAM
Well just take two shots of Makers.
The bartender takes out two shot glasses and pours a shot
of Makers Mark in both.
Adam gives Jessica a shot then picks his up.

ADAM
To new friends.
JESSICA
Cheers.
They take the shot after which Jessica winces as she
struggles to swallow it.
JESSICA
Whew, thats strong.
ADAM
You never do get used to it, do you?
JESSICA
The weird thing is even though I went
to school in the south, I never drank
whiskey down there. I was a cheap
beer and vodka kind of girl.
ADAM
Where did you go to college?
JESSICA
Florida State.
ADAM
Ugh, youre a nole.
JESSICA
Yeah, is there something wrong with that?
ADAM
No, at least you didnt say you were
a Gator, those losers are fucking
assholes.
JESSICA
They certainly are. Wait, where did
you go to school?
ADAM
The U.
Adam makes a U sign with his two hands.
289

JESSICA
(rolls eyes)
Ugh, of course youd refer to it as
The U. Tell me, why is everyone
from Miami such pompous dicks?
ADAM
Were not pompous dicks, we just love
the idea of our schooleven though
were probably the most apathetic
college community in the country.
Now its your turn to tell me something.
JESSICA
OK, whats that?
Actually its a
how red is your
like growing up
And who did you
with more, your
first cousin?
ADAM
three part question,
neck? What was it
in a trailer park?
like having sex
brother or your
JESSICA
(laughs)
Of course youd go with the lowhanging fruit jokes. Id expect
nothing less from a pompous dick
Hurricane.
ADAM
Hey you started it.
JESSICA
Besides, Im not from Tallahassee so
your jokes kind of fall flat on me.
Ohhh, sorry.
ADAM
So where are you from?
JESSICA
Upstate.
ADAM
Upstate to me means anything north of
125th St, care to be more specific?
290

JESSICA
Westchester County.
ADAM
Thats not really upstate.
JESSICA
It is to you, you even said it yourself.
ADAM
Touch, so I assume youre a Yankees
fan?
JESSICA
Yep.
ADAM
Knicks?
Giants?
JESSICA
Absolutely.
ADAM
Fuck Eli Manning.
JESSICA
Ahhh, you must be a Pats fan.
ADAM
Yep, and a Sox fan and a Celtics fan,
Im a New Englander, so we really
are opposites.
JESSICA
And we started out so well with our
mutual love of whiskey, but you know
what they say, opposites do attract.
ADAM
(thinking)
Would you like to grab a slice of pizza?
JESSICA
What?
Now?
ADAM
Sure.
291

JESSICA
But its your going away party.
Adam looks around the room and notices that the crowd has
thinned considerably.
ADAM
True, but its late and most people
have already left.
JESSICA
But what about the ones still here?
ADAM
Ill write them a letter later to
tell them how much Ill miss them.
He points to a random guy on the other side of the room
whos hanging out with a couple other people.
ADAM (contd)
Except for that dude, I have no idea
who he is, Im sure hes nice enough
though.
JESSICA
Id feel bad if I take you away from
your friends.
ADAM
Nonsense, its OK. I want to hang
out with you. Trust me, its cool.
So lets grab a slice.
JESSICA
(smiles)
OK.
ADAM
Do you have everything you came here
with?
Jessica looks around her immediate vicinity.
JESSICA
Yep, Im all good.
Adam holds his arm out for Jessica to grab then he leads
her towards the exit.
292
293
They come across Mark and Anthony as they walk through the
room.
ADAM
Hey Mark, were going to get a slice,
can you sign out my card? Ill grab
it from you tomorrow.
MARK
Yeah, no problem.
ANTHONY
Have a good time.
ADAM
Thanks Anthony.
Mark and Anthony then walk over to the bar as Adam and
Jessica leave.
ANTHONY
Look at our boy go!
Mark turns back to watch Adam lead Jessica across the
street outside.
MARK
Watch that be the girl of his dreams,
talk about shitty luck if that
actually happens. He finally meets
someone nice only to move across the
country the next day.
ANTHONY
Hes a wild card though, you never
know what hes going to do. He could
very well just cancel his move if
he thinks hes found the one.
MARK
Hes been burned so many times before
by that logic, I dont think he wants
to go down that road again. I think
this move is for real regardless of
what happens.
ANTHONY
I guess well see.
294
MARK
(looks at the bartender)
We will. We will also take another
round of drinks, make mine a double,
and well have a shot then another
round of drinks all under Adam Halls
tab then well sign him out.
INT. ROMAS PIZZA, 3RD AVENUE, UPPER EAST SIDE
Even though theyre at a four seat table, Adam and Jessica
are sitting on the same side both enjoying a messy slice of
pizza.
Adam is meticulously picking off all the pepperonis on his
slice, then taking all the cheese off then putting the
pepperonis back on as Jessica watches on in shock.
Adam notices that Jessica is put off by his actions.
ADAM
I know, I know, I know what youre
thinking, but I swear I am not a
psycho, I swear.
JESSICA
No, no, its fine.
(pauses)
But do you do this all the time?
ADAM
When I dont have the luxury of ordering
a cheeseless pizza? Yes.
JESSICA
So you dont like any cheese?
ADAM
Not particularly, although I will eat
Kraft Macaroni & Cheese from time to
time, at least the old recipe, I
havent tried the new one yet.
JESSICA
But thats not real cheese.
ADAM
Its more like cheese than asparagus.
295
JESSICA
That I cant argue with.
ADAM
Its OK, I accept your apology.
JESSICA
Well I wasnt going to apologize at all.
What about burgers?
ADAM
What about burgers?
JESSICA
Do you not put cheese on your burgers?
ADAM
No, I eat hamburgers, not cheeseburgers.
JESSICA
Fascinating, so I take it you dont
put parmesan cheese on your pasta
either?
ADAM
Ewww, no.
JESSICA
So are you lactose intolerant?
ADAM
No, I just dont dig on cheese.
Really?
JESSICA
But cheese is awesome.
Jessica takes it upon herself to rip a piece of cheese off

his slice and eats it.
ADAM
I dont think so, for me I think its
a texture thing. I just dont like
the texture.
JESSICA
Cheese comes in a lot of different
textures though.

MARK
Yeah, I dont like any of them
(pauses)
Oh dear, do you hate me now?
JESSICA
No, I dont hate you, hate is such a
strong word. Im just disappointed.
Disappointed?
ADAM
Thats discouraging.
JESSICA
Im not going to lie, you not liking
cheese is a big deal.
ADAM
Is it a deal breaker?
JESSICA
Im not going to go as far as to say
its a deal breaker, but it is odd.
ADAM
Thats fair, Ill own up to my weirdness. The persecution I have to face
over this though is disheartening,
I thought we as society in this day
and age have moved to accept peoples
quirks and differences.
Persecution?
JESSICA
Youve been persecuted?
ADAM
Absolutely.
JESSICA
How?
ADAM
One time I was on a second date with
this girl and out of nowhere she just
gets right up from the table in the
middle of the restaurant, screams I
cant take it anymore, you dont like
cheese! and walks right out, never
to be seen again.
296
297
JESSICA
She just walked right out on you?
ADAM
Yep.
Yikes.
JESSICA
All because of cheese?
ADAM
Im sure she had other shit going on
in her head too, but thats what she
went with verbally.
JESSICA
Well Im not going to walk out on you,
regardless of how much you hate cheese.
Thanks.
ADAM
But I mean I really hate cheese.
She grabs her fork, stabs it right into the mound of Adams
discarded cheese and takes a huge bite.
JESSICA
Well the good news is that just means
theres more cheese for me!
ADAM
Exactly, thats the big picture thinking
I like. See, everyone wins in my no
cheese situation, especially girls,
because while I dont know much, I
do know that all girls love cheese.
So I give girls the opportunity to
have two slices worth of cheese for
the price of one.
JESSICA
I am a big picture girl and I am
appreciative Youre a hero.
ADAM
Well not all of us wear capes.
Adam takes a bite of his slice after finally putting the
last pepperoni back on.

ADAM (contd)
Mmmm, magical.
JESSICA
If you say so.
After taking a bite, Adam puts the slice in front of her
face.
ADAM
Would you like a bite?
JESSICA
Ewww, no. Ill be fine eating my
normal slice.
ADAM
OK suit yourself, that just means more
pepperonis for me.
JESSICA
(points to Adams slice)
You actually like that?
ADAM
Absolutely, I do actually like cheeseless pizza.
JESSICA
So you mentioned a pretty bad date,
would you say that was your worst one
youve been on?
ADAM
Oh god no, I dont even think that
breaks the top 10 of my worst dates.
JESSICA
Really, are you serious?
ADAM
Unfortunately yes. My dating life
hasnt gone exactly that well over
the last couple of years.
JESSICA
Oh thats so sad, why not?
298

ADAM
Who knows, just one thing after another
happens, its never the same story
which I guess keeps things interesting,
in a really depressing kind of way.
JESSICA
Like, whats happened?
ADAM
Ahhh, too much to tell, I think this
pizza joint closes in two hours.
JESSICA
Well Ive got the time if youve got
the stories.
ADAM
Do you like Greek tragedies though?
JESSICA
I actually like my tragedies Shakespearean.
ADAM
I can do that too.
JESSICA
Oh it cant all be that bad.
ADAM
You want to bet?
JESSICA
Whats that phrase? Things are never
as good or as bad as they seem?
ADAM
I dont know, I think I could give
that phrase a run for its money.
JESSICA
Everybody has bad dates, Ive had my
fair share of them.
ADAM
Really?
JESSICA
Oh yes.
299
Prove it.
ADAM
Tell me a story.
Jessica closes her eyes tight as she thinks for a few

moments then opens them back up.
JESSICA
OK, Ive been ghosted three times.
ADAM
Three times?
JESSICA
Yeah.
ADAM
Thats cute. I was ghosted three
times in the month of March alone.
Come on, if you want to come after
the crown youll have to do better
than that.
JESSICA
I once met up with a guy for a first
date who was so wasted that he pissed
himself at the bar and then tried
to claim that he dropped a glass
of water on himself even though he
wasnt drinking any.
ADAM
OK youre getting better, I once
had a date who passed out headfirst
into a bowl of chips and guacamole
and she stayed there for almost
four minutes.
JESSICA
You didnt help her out by lifting
her head up?
ADAM
No, in the world of first dates, its
every man and woman for themselves.
JESSICA
Thats a little harsh.
300

ADAM
Its a war out there and I thought
itd be a good life lesson for her.
JESSICA
OK, I once dated a guy for two months
before I found out he was married.
ADAM
I once had a girlfriend who drunkenly
married another guy while we were
out in Las Vegas together.
JESSICA
Speaking of traveling, I did a road
trip once with a guy I was dating
for only a few weeks, we stayed at
a Bed & Breakfast and he insisted
on sleeping with his favorite blanket
and stuffed animal every night saying
that he couldnt sleep in a strangers
bed without them. The guy was
thirty-four.
ADAM
At least you got to go on the road
trip, I was supposed to go to Iceland
with a girl I was dating
JESSICA
(interrupts)
Oh I would love to go to Iceland, it
looks so majestic. How did you like
it, it mustve been awesome, right?
ADAM
The key phrase is I was supposed to
go. I dont know, I never went.
The girl stood me up at the airport,
she never showed up.
JESSICA
I was on a date once with a guy who
had a warrant out for his arrest.
ADAM
What kind of crime was he wanted for?
301
302
JESSICA
Securities fraud or something like that.
ADAM
(dismissively)
White collar crime, pfft.
JESSICA
Really, have any of your dates ever
had brushes with the law?
ADAM
No, but at the end of one night my
date called the cops on me after I
asked her to pay her share of dinner.
JESSICA
You asked her to pay for her share of
dinner?
ADAM
Its a long, long story, but she was
a psycho and I was in the right, trust
me.
JESSICA
You know, we dont need to make this
a competition.
ADAM
Youre right, but its fun in a tragic
sort of way.
JESSICA
I think we can agree that we both have
our fair share of fucked up dating
stories.
ADAM
Too many, right?
JESSICA
Too many indeed.
They both take the last bites of their slices and sit there
savoring it in peace for a few moments until Jessica throws
her crust down.

ADAM
Youre not a crust girl?
JESSICA
No, empty calories.
ADAM
Its like the best part of the pizza,
besides the sauce and pepperonis.
JESSICA
Have at it then.
Adam picks up her crust and starts eating it.
ADAM
We make a good team since were very
complementary in our pizza eating.
JESSICA
We are.
ADAM
You eat my cheese, I eat your crust.
JESSICA
So what did you mean before when
you talked about cheese being a
deal breaker? A deal breaker for
what?
ADAM
I dont know, I guess, ummm, maybe
a deal breaker for life?
JESSICA
For life?
ADAM
Yeah, for life, like youd never want
to talk to me again just because I
dont like cheese.
JESSICA
Whoa, thats pretty serious.
wouldve been too extreme.
No, that
303
304
ADAM
Thats good to know.
(pauses)
Well its late, we should get going.
Adam grabs a napkin to wipe his face.
JESSICA
Agreed, so when are you moving out to
San Fran?
ADAM
Tomorrow night.
JESSICA
(disappointed)
Oh no, tomorrow night? Already?
we just met.
But
ADAM
I know, it feels like weve known each
other for years though, doesnt it?
JESSICA
It does. I guess we have to make the
most of our first, and possibly last,
date then.
ADAM
This is a date?
JESSICA
We can count it if youd like.
ADAM
As long as it doesnt end horribly,
Id love to count it.
Jessica stands up and straddles over Adam.
JESSICA
I think you can count on tonight not
ending horribly.
ADAM
Thats kind of hot.
With that, she lays a passionate, long kiss on Adams lips
as Adam puts his arms around her waist and hugs her tight.

After several seconds she stands up and approaches the
counter.
JESSICA
Can I borrow a pen for a second?
She walks back over to Adam, who is now standing up, when
she gets a pen and grabs Adams hand to write down her
phone number on the back of it.
JESSICA
My phones dead so heres my cell phone
number, why dont we keep in contact
while youre in San Francisco? You
never know where life will take either
of us, right?
ADAM
You could always come to San Francisco
with me.
JESSICA
Ha! I already told you Im not that
courageous.
ADAM
Theres a first time for everything,
come on, wouldnt it be fun? We could
explore a new city, far away from
everything, together.
JESSICA
Im sure it would be fun but thats
just too much of a radical idea for
me to even consider at this point.
I have a life here and I just met
you! I mean you dont like cheese
so its possible that you are a
serial killer.
ADAM
Well then maybe I just wont go to
San Francisco then.
JESSICA
What?
Why?
305

ADAM
Maybe I found what Im looking for
here and dont need to go 3,000
miles for it anymore.
JESSICA
Youre talking nonsense now, I thought
you were going to San Francisco for
a job opportunity?
ADAM
Yes and no.
Yes and no?
JESSICA
What does that mean?
ADAM
Im just saying, life should be about
more than having a good job and great
career, it should also be about having
a satisfying personal life. And if
I meet someone whom I feel I have a
great connection with, why should I
run away from it?
JESSICA
I have to figure as much as it was a
big decision to move to San Francisco
it has to be just as big a decision
to decide not to move to San Francisco
at this point. So what Im saying is
you should not make any rash decisions.
ADAM
I love making rash decisions though.
I dont know, youre probably right,
youre mere existence and presence
has just thrown me for a loop, an
incredibly lovely loop.
JESSICA
Awww.
Jessica gives Adam another long, passionate kiss.
JESSICA (contd)
I get it, I understand.
306

ADAM
Thats good, because I dont think
I understand. In fact, I think Im
really confused.
She holds Adams hand to console him.
JESSICA
Do you mind walking me back to my
apartment? I only live a few blocks
away but I really shouldnt be walking
home by myself at this time of night.
ADAM
Certainly, no problem.
JESSICA
And itll give us a chance to chat some
more and get to know each other better
and talk about life and the future.
ADAM
Good because I like talking to you.
Jessica looks Adam directly in the eyes as she smiles
brightly.
JESSICA
I like talking to you too.
They leave the pizzeria hand-in-hand.
INT. JFK AIRPORT, JETBLUE TERMINAL 5
GATE 15
The next night, the gate at the end of the terminal is
packed with TRAVELERS lined up to board a flight to San
Francisco.
Adam is nowhere to be seen among of the travelers.
The tension builds as people continue to board the flight
and the AIRLINE GATE AGENTS behind the counter call up
standby passengers.
One of the agents makes an announcement over the intercom
system.
307
308
AIRLINE GATE AGENT

Will passenger Adam Hall please check
in at gate 15 immediately.
The tension continues to build as the area around the gate
begins to empty out when the remaining travelers board the
flight.
The gate agent makes another announcement over the
intercom.
AIRLINE GATE AGENT
This is the last call for passenger
Adam Hall, please check in at gate 15
immediately, your flight is ready to
depart and the gate is about to close.
Finally, out of nowhere Adam comes running down the
terminal alone with a travel bag draped over his shoulder.
ADAM (V.O.)
I know what youre all thinking, why
not stay in New York, why am I leaving
if Im really into Jessica and she
seems like shes into me, like really
into me. And maybe she is, but who
really knows what would happen tomorrow,
next week or the week, month and year
after that. Its also possible that
I like the idea of her more than I
like her herself. Maybe life has
just made me an overly cynical
bastard, I dont know but I dont
think I can really be totally blamed
if it has. But regardless, come on,
do you really think Id introduce a
key character thatd be so integral
to the plot in the final twenty
minutes? That just wouldnt be
proper story structureor so Ive
been told.
Adam, out of breath, finally makes it to the counter at
Gate 15.
ADAM (V.O.) (contd)
Sorry but not sorry, its time for a
new adventure.
309
ADAM
Phew, I had no idea thered be
construction on the Triborough Bridge
tonight, traffic was a bitch. But
anyways, Adam Hall is present and
reporting for his flight.
AIRLINE GATE AGENT
Mr. Hall, youre a lucky man, we were
just about to close the gate doors.
ADAM
Well no need for that until after I
board.
The gate agent scans his ticket and give it back to him.
AIRLINE GATE AGENT
Enjoy the flight and have fun in San
Francisco.
Adam takes his ticket and proceeds to walk down the jet
bridge as the doors close behind him.
INT. JETBLUE AIRPLANE
As Adam settles into his very tight window seat in coach,
he takes out his iPhone and puts it on his lap before
buckling his seatbelt.
He starts fiddling with his phone as the FEMALE FLIGHT
ATTENDANT goes over last minute instructions.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT
Ladies and gentlemen, the cabin door
has now closed so all electronic
devices must be turned off or put
into airplane mode and stowed for
takeoff.
Adam decides to text Jessica so he quickly types up hey
there, it was good meeting you last night, hope you have a
good day, Ill text you again when I land.
The flight attendant is making her way down the aisle,
making sure all the passengers are following her
instructions, and stops by Adams row.
310
FLIGHT ATTENDANT
Excuse me sir, youll have to finish
up your text right now and put your
phone in airplane mode.
ADAM
Sure, sorry.
As the flight attendant walks away, Adam sends the text and
immediately puts his iPhone into Airplane mode.
ADAM (V.O.)
I know I just said that its time for
a new adventure but old habits die
hard. Who knows what, if anything,
will come from this. Will she even
reply back to me or will she ghost me
like so many other girls have done in
the past? Will we actually keep in
contact? If we do, will we just become
long distance friends or will we be
something more? And if we do become
something more, how will we maintain
a relationship when were so far apart?
Could there really be a future between
us? Its this joy of the unknown that
keeps life interesting and although
Ive faced plenty of despair its my
overly romantic view of hope that keeps
me going every day.
Adam puts his headphones in his ears, turns some music on,
then sits back and closes his eyes as a huge smile covers
his face.
FADE OUT

Hope &amp; Despair Screenplay

Încărcat de

Informații document

Drepturi de autor

Formate disponibile

Partajați acest document

Partajați sau inserați document

Opțiuni de partajare

Vi se pare util acest document?

Este necorespunzător acest conținut?

Drepturi de autor:

Formate disponibile

Hope &amp; Despair Screenplay

Încărcat de

Drepturi de autor:

Formate disponibile

Hope & Despair

Original Screenplay written by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Tell me about it.

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

You two seem

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Chrissy walks back to the table and, without sitting, grabs

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

ADAM (V.O.) (contd)

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Its a text from

Adam quickly responds Saturday works for me. As soon

Ill text you on

Adam Sounds good.

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Adam takes out his iPhone and proceeds to take several

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

ADAM (V.O.) (contd)

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

ADAM (V.O.) (contd)

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

I dont get it.

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

ADAM (V.O.) (contd)

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

A YOUNG WAITER walks up to the table carrying a carafe of

Adam ignores her and leaves the restaurant.

Hope & Despair Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

ADAM (V.O.) (contd)

Hope & Despair Screenplay

Hope & Despair Screenplay