A Country Hick on Bourbon Street

By Elton Camp

To the French Quarter young Rube had never been

On Bourbon Street his visit the hayseed did begin
Scantily-clad girls swung over the street so far
He also glimpsed lewd dancing going on in a bar

“Why this here’s just as bad ez my mother warned.

I’ve never seed nothing bad ez this since I was born.”
Next he saw a couple groping each other on the street
Nothing that shocking did Rube ever expect to meet

A sign boldly read, “Nude Dancers Women and Men”

Rube: “Oh my! New Orleans shore ez a place of sin.”
A painted woman called out, “Honey, want some fun?”
Poor Rube diverted his eyes, blushed and started to run.

When he got tired, he saw a place that he might rest

A bar stool next to a girl who, to him, looked the best
Rube started to drink a beer, though it made him queasy
He regretted that he had ever come to visit the Big Easy

The girl turned toward him, winked, and gave a smile

Rube asked, “Yore nice Miss. Want to talk fer a while?”
He soon found that with her he was so totally captivated
As how lonely and sad New Orleans could be, she related

“I have a room not too far from here. Come visit, my dear?”
Rube thought a decent girl he had found with naught to fear
The barkeeper said, “Boy I can see you’re new to this city.
Kid, that’s a boy, not a girl, but ain’t it really such a pity.”

Rube nearly got the shock of his life