FOREVER IN MY MIND

BY: LESLIE EDMONDS(based on a true story some names have been changed)

CHAPTER ONE

SITTING IN MY ROOM LOOKING AT THE WINDOW WOUNDERING WHEN IT WILL STOP RAINING, W
HEN THE PHONE RINGS "HELLO" HEY BABY THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT TO GO GET SOMETHING
TO EAT? THE VOICE SAID ON THE PHONE, IT WAS RICKY MY BOYFRIEND, WE HAVE BEEN A C
OUPLE NOW FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS HE WAS 6'0 FEET TALL DARK SKINNED WITH A LOW FA
DE WITH BROWN EYES, A GOLD TEE AND SOME GOLD IN HIS MOUTH WITH A NICE BODY, I SA
ID YES WHEN ARE YOU COMING GIVE ME AN HOUR HE SAID AND I WILL BE THERE RICKY WAS
OLDER THAN ME HE WAS 23 AND HAD A NAVY BLUE 9'8 WITH TINTED WINDOW'S AND BEAT
SITTING ON SOME 20'S ALL MY FRIENDS ENVY ME BECAUSE OF IT I WAS ONLY 15 BUT LOOK
ED OLDER I WAS 5'3 ABOUT 115LBS WITH LIGHT BROWN EYES AND LONG BLACK HAIR, DARK
SKINNED,WITH SIZE 38DD BRA SIZE SO I WAS PRETTY STACKED. AS I WAS GETTING DRESS
I HEAR MY MOM COME THROUGH THE DOOR CALLING ME, NICHOLE WHERE ARE YOU? AM IN HEA
R MOM WHAT! SHE WALKED IN MY ROOM WITH THIS GLOSSY LOOK IN HER EYES WHERE YOU GO
ING SHE SAID? WITH RICKY, HE IS TAKING ME OUT TO EAT, WHY? JUST WOUNDERING AS SH
E WALKED OUT My ROOM I WAS ALMOST DRESSED WHEN I HEARD A KNOCK AT THE DOOR. WHO
IS ? I SAID AS I ANSWERED THE DOOR THE VOICE ON THE OTHER SIDE SAID 'JAMES" WHO?
I SAID AS I OPENED THE DOOR, DAMN HE SAID WHO ARE YOU I LOOKED AT HIM WITH A AR
E YOU KIDDING ME LOOK, OH AM SORRY AM JAMES , I WAS LOOKING FOR YOUR MOTHERE I T
HINK KAY? HE SAID, YES THAT'S MY MOM AND ..... IS SHE HERE HE STATED YES WAIT A
MIN. AS I SHUT THE DOOR AND WALK TOWARD MY MOM'S ROOM, MOM SOMEONE IS HERE FOR Y
OU I YELLED SHE DIDNT ANSWER ME SO I OPEN THE DOOR TOHER ROOM, MOM WHAT THE BEFO
RE I COULD SAY ANYTHING ELSE SHE JUMPED UP AND SAID YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO KNOCK A
S SHE HIDES SOMETHING BEHIND HER BACK MOM WAS YOU JUST SMOKING THE PIPE AND WHAT
IS THAT SMELL I SAID GET OUT JUST GET THE FUCK OUT AND DONT WORRY ABOUT WHAT TH
E FUCK AM DOING I THOUGHT YOU WAS GOING ON A DATE WITH YOUR LITTLE FRIEND WHAT H
APPEN TO THAT SHE SAID WELL I WAS GETTING DRESS UNTIL SOME BOY NAME JAMES KNOCK
ED ON THE DOOR AND HIS AT THE DOOR NOW WAITING ON YOU AS I WALKED OUT THE ROOM,
I COULDNT BELEIVE WHAT I JUST SAW, MY MOM NEVER, WHAT THE FUCK, MAYBE SHE IS NOT
THAT BAD OFF, MAYBE SHEJUST TRIED THIS FIRST TIME, AND WHO THE FUCK IS JAMES TH
ROUGH I HAVE TO ADMIT HE WAS FINE! HE WAS ABOUT THE SAME HEIGHT AS RICKY THIN BU
ILT WITH DARK BROWN EYES AND LONG BRAIDS WITH A KILLER SMILE BUT I DONT HAVE TIM
E TO THINK ABOUT HIM, WHAT ABOUT MY MOM, AS I JUMPED BACK TO REALITY MY MOM IS O
N CRACK DAMN AS A COUPLE OF TEARS ROLLED DOWN MY FACE, I GOT TO THINKING ABOUT M
Y DAD WHO NOW IS DEAD HOW HE WAS THE KING PIN HERE AND A PIMP (LIFE OF A PIMP'S
DAUGHTER COMING SOON) MAYBE THAT WHAT MADE MY MOM WANT TO TRY CRACK, AND THINKIN
G ABOUT MY DAD MADE ME CRY EVEN HARDER AS I GRAB SOME TISSUE TO CLEAN MY FACE I
HEAR A KNOCK AT THE DOOR, NICHOLE, RICKY'S HERE MY MOM SAID , HERE I COME I YELL
AS I WIPE MY FACE DIDNT WANT RICKY TO KNOW WHAT WAS GOING WITH MY MOM. AS I WAL
K OUT MY ROOM I NOTICE JAMES IS IN THE HOUSE NOW SITTING ON THE COUCH I GIVE HIM
A QUICK GLANCE AND GIVE RICKY A KISS AND HUG HEY BABY ARE YOU READY HE SAYS AS
HE LOOKS TOWARDS THE COUCH YES I'AM LETS GO AS I GRAB HIS ARM AND WALK OUT THE H
OUSE. WHY ARE YOU IN SUCH A HURRY NICHOLE RICKY ASK JUST NEED TO GET OUT OF THER
E THAT' S ALL SO WHERE ARE WE GOING? DO YOU FEEL LIKE CHINEESE TONITE? RICKY ASK
, YES YOU KNOW I LIKE CHINEESE, SO RICKY TAKES OFF AND CUTS UP THE MUSIC WHICH W
AS GOOD CAUSE I DIDNT FEEL LIKE TALKING AFTER WHAT I JUST SAW WE PULL UP IN FRON
T OF MARC'S MY FAVORITE CHINESSE RESTURANT, ARE YOU OK RICKY ASK AS HE CUTS THE
CAR OFF, YES AM COOL JUST ALOT OF FAMILY SHIT ON MY MIND LET'S JUST EAT WE SIT D
OWN AT THE TABLE ORDER OUR FOOD AND TALK FOR AWHILE I HAVE TO ADMIT SITTING ACRO
SS FROM RICKY DID MAKE ME FORGET FOR A MIN. MY ISSUE WITH MY MOM, AS HE HOLDS MY
HAND HE SAYS I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU! WHAT! IS IT SOME MONEY (HE ALWAYS GIVE M
E MONEY) DAMN BABY YOU ALWAYS WANT SOME MONEY, NO ITS NOT MONEY HE SMILED AS HE
HAND ME A LONG BOX WITH A BOW ON IT I GOT THIS FOR YOU SO EVERYTIME YOU LOOK AT
IT YOU WILL THINK OF ME! I QUICKLY GRABBED THE BOX AND OPENED IT. IT WAS A DIAMO
ND AND GOLD TENNIS BARACELET wow thanks what is for? I asked, just because I lov
e you, he replied I smiled and put the bacelet on, as the waiter walked up to th
e table with the check he grabbed the check paid for it and grabed my hand and p
ulled me lets go he said as we walked out the resturant and got into the car we
pulled off and he turned the music up and we drove down linconway singing joedci
my heart belongs to you i felt this is wouderful until my mind drifted back to
my mom hitting the pipe damn why did she have to fuck this moment up for me, why
cant i get that out my mind? I didnt even hear what Ricky was even saying all I
could picture was my mom and how I wished I would have knocked on the door! Nic
hole, Nichole Ricky was tapping me and saying my name, am sorry I was daydreamin
g did you say something, i said are you ok? We here he said as I looked out the
window at Dean house oh I didnt know we was coming over here, as I open the door
Ricky looked at me and said you havent been listening at all what is on your mi
nd tonite as he pull me closer to him am sorry just some bullshit happened at th
e crib that I cant shake for some reason but dont worry my focus is on you lets
go cause I know Dean got some gin and I feel like getting fucked up tonite we wa
lked up to Dean door and knocked Dean opened the door what's up nigga dean said
as we walked in the house, whats up ricky said and shook up with (special hand s
hake) him Dean I know you got some gin hell yea he replied as he pointed to the
kitchen i walked in the kitchen and fixed me and Ricky a drink here baby as a ga
ve the glass to Ricky we both took a big gulp of the gin damn that shit burned a
s I grabbed my chest you ok ricky asked as Dean started laughing shut up that sh
it did burn as I laughed and told Ricky am cool. As I take a sip this time it s
till burned but I played it off after a couple of drinks Ricky started in on me
again baby are you spending the night tonite what ever you going threw I can mak
e it better as he put his hand on my leg, dont start Ricky you know am not spend
ing the nite I told you I was not ready for that yet, why do you keep playing wi
th me, you want to act like a big girl when am buying you shoes ,clothes, diamon
ds and shit but when its to pay for it like a big girl you dont know how to hand
le it he said as he grabbed my face, Ricky chill the fuck out man Dean yelled Ri
cky let my face go and looked at Dean man you see her as he pointed to a picture
on the table that's your bitch you see her as he pointed at me that's my bitch!
Lets go as he grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door he drag me all the way
to the car and pushed me to the car what is wrong with you I yelled as I picked
myself up off the ground get the fuck in the car Ricky yelled as he started the
car up, I dusted myself off and open the car door and got in, why do you keep d
oing me like this wow this is love I think I would rather be single I said as I
rolled my eyes before I could turn my head all the way around smack is all I hea
rd when my face started burnning! Why the fuck you always yell that break up shi
t , just shut the fuck all the way home o.k. ms. am not ready I wanted to say so
mething but I was just to scared because I knew if I said anything he was going
to be beating my ass all the way home so I didnt say anything I just sat there a
nd cried as I touch my face. He turned the music up and threw the jodeci cd on t
he floor in the back sit and put in some shit about fuck a bitch and bunch of ot
her shit that am pretty sure was directed at me. I just blanked it out and thoug
ht about how if my daddy was alive this wouldnt be happening damn I miss you I t
hought as I wiped my tears away it seemed like hours had passed before we reache
d my house when we pulled up I couldnt wait until the car stopped I grabbed the
door and tried to open it wait! am sorry I didnt mean to hit you as he grabbed m
y arm you say that all the time and you still do it as I grabed my arm away from
him and open the door he jumped out nichole wait damn just listen please as he
ran up on me am sorry I dont know what comes over me I just love you so much th
at as he put his head in his hands and sniffs Ricky dont you know I love you don
t do that please look at me he looks up with these sad eyes that just melt my he
art I touched his face with my hands baby I promise we will make it work just an
d before I could say anything else his lips touched mine I love you as he cont.
to kiss me and pull me closer all of a sudden I felt him getting hard so I pulle
d away he pulled me back to him and said see what you do to me and smiled just t
hen the door came open I see you home it was my mom boyfriend Ricky gave him a n
od and looked at me and smiled I didnt even respond I hate him I just rolled my
eyes and told Ricky goodnite he kissed me one more time and got into his car dro
ve off I sat there for a min. because I didnt want to see my mom or her dum ass
boyfriend I walked up to the door and opened it there he was again that fine jam
es I laughed to myself hey he said as I shut the door behind me I smiled and sai
d hey where's my mom and what are you doing here! your mom is in here room and..
....... I stay here now with a smile on his face what you mean you stay he mom!
mom! I yelled as I walked toward her room what are you yelling for she yelled as
she came out her room why do he stay here! first who are you yelling at little
girl my mom replied and this is my house and that's it understand dont worry abo
ut my shit ok as she stood there pointing her finger in my face if I wasnt so bl
ack I would have turned red as I walked away toward my room I went to open my do
or and heard hey at least we can get to know each I looked at him and shut my do
or as I laid agaist the door taking a deep breathe I looked at the bed and thoug
ht I cant wait to lay down maybe tommorow will be better lord please! I walked t
oward the bed and took off my clothes and closed my eye daddy I know you hear me
I know I should leave him and you would kill him if you was alive but I love hi
m and I know this time he will change watch daddy I love you goodnite.

chapter 2

GOT OUT BED THAT MORNING SO SORE FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE WHEN RICKY PUSHED ME DOWN
, I THREW MY LEGS OVER THE SIDE OF THE BED AND TOOK A DEEP BREATHE AM SO GLAD TH
IS IS A NEW DAY AS MY PHONE RANG DAMN WHO CALLING ME THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING A
S I LOOKED AT THE CLOCK AND IT SAID 10AM JUST THEN I HEARD A KNOCK AT MY BEDROOM
DOOR WHO IS IT I YELLED AS I WALKED TOWARD THE DOOR JAMES THE VOICE SAID TELEP
HONE OK I YELLED AS I THOUGHT WHY DID HE ANSWER THE PHONE, HELLO WHO THE FUCK JU
ST ANSWERED YOUR DAMN PHONE IT WAS RICKY MAD ASS HELL AGAIN WHAT! I SHOUTED BACK
WHO JUST ANSWERED YOU FUCKIN PHONE IN A SLOW BUT MEAN VOICE JAMES THE DUDE MY M
OM LET LIVE HERE I SAID WHAT THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOUR MOM LET LIVE THERE, LIKE I S
AID RICKY MY MOM LET STAY HERE ANYWAY YOU ACT LIKE THIS IS MY HOUSE AND I CAN CO
NTROL WHO LIVES HERE! I SAID AS I GRABED FOR MY ROBE LOOK I DONT EVEN WANT TO TA
LK ABOUT THAT AND I DONT EVEN KNOW THE DUDE ANYWAY SO WHATS UP LOOK YOU KNOW I D
ONT LIKE THAT SHIT BUT WE WILL TALK LATER ABOUT THAT WHY DO IT SOUND LIKE YOU WA
S IN THE BED HE SAID CAUSE I WAS I STATED YOU KNOW I DIDNT GET HOME TILL LATE LA
ST NITE AM GLAD TODAY IS SATURDAY NO SCHOOL I THOUGHT IN MY HEAD AS RICKY RAMBLE
D ON ABOUT HOW MAD HE WAS HE LOST THE BASKETBALL GAME AT THE CENTER I WASNT REAL
LY EVEN PAYING ATTENTION TO HIM UNTIL HE SAID "AND THEN THE NIGGA HAD ENOUGH NER
VE TO SAY I HAD HERPIES IN MY MUSTACHE" WHAT YOU JUST SAY YEA THAT NIGGA SAID TH
AT BULL SHIT! RICKY SAID WHY WOULD HE SAY THAT I ASKED HELL I DONT KNOW BUT ITS
NOT TRUE! HE EXCLAIMED AND YOU WOULD KNOW HOW WOULD I KNOW RICKY WE HAVE NEVER H
AD SEX AND YOU HAVE NEVER ATE MY PUSSY SO HOW WOULD I KNOW! I STATED WHY ARE WE
TALKING ABOUT THIS I DONT HAVE THEM PERIOD OK HE YELLED DAMN OK I YELLED BACK WH
Y YOU GETTING MAD AT ME IAM NOT THE ONE WHO SAID IT AS I ROLLED MY EYES ARE YOU
DRESS? HE ASK NO I JUST TOLD YOU I JUST GOT OUT OF BED WHY? NOTHING JUST CALL ME
WHEN YOU GET DRESS OK. WHY WHERE ARE WE GOING I ASKED, WHY SO MANY QUESTIONS DA
MN JUST CALL ME WHEN YOU GET DRESS HE SAID AS HE HUNG THE PHONE UP, DAMN RUDE AS
S NIGGA I SAID AS I HUNG THE PHONE UP I LOOKED AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR AND BRUSH
ED MY HAIR DOWN AND PUT ON A LITTLE LIP GLOSS BECAUSE I KNEW JAMES WAS OUT THERE
I WALKED OUT THE ROOM PULLING MY ROBE GOODMORNING SEXY HE SMILED AT ME AND SAID
A GAVE HIM A QUICK LOOK AND NODDED MY HEAD AS I RUSHED TO THE BATHROOM TO BRUSH
MY TEETH. I OPENED THE TO THE BATHROOM AND TURNED ON THE WATER AND STARTED BRUS
HING MY TEETH DAMN THAT BOY IS FINE I THOUGHT TO MYSELF AS I BRUSHED MY TEETH I
RISED MY MOUTH OUT AND PUT MY TOOTH BRUSH UP AS I WALKED OUT THE DOOR I CAN SEE
MY MOM'S BOYFRIEND HANDING JAMES SOME MONEY AND JAMES HANDING HIM SOMETHING BAC
K BY THE TIME I REACHED THE LIVINGROOM MY MOM'S BOYFRIEND NOAL STARTED WALKING T
OWARD ME HEY HE SAID AS HE WALK PASSED AND PATTED MY HEAD. DONT DO THAT! I SAID
AS I MOVED MY HEAD, SO MEAN WHY AS PRETTY AS YOU ARE JAMES SAID AS HE WATCHED WH
AT HAD JUST HAPPENED. HE IS ALWAYS TRYING ACT LIKE MY DADDDY I HAD ONE DONT NEED
A NEW THANK YOU! YOU ARE SOMETHING ELSE YOU KNOW JAMES SAID LOOKING AT ME STAND
ING THERE WITH MY HANDS ON MY HIP WAVING MY FINGER WHAT EVER I SAID AS I GAVE HI
M A SMILE, SO WOULD YOU LIKE SOMETHING TO EAT THIS MORNING HE ASKED WHY ARE YOU
ABOUT TO COOK SOMETHING IN THAT EMPTY AS KITCHEN UH? I SAID AS I RAISED MY EYE B
RAW NO............. BUT WE CAN GO GET SOMETHING TO EAT HE SMILED YOU KNOW I HAVE
A BOYFRIEND THE DUDE THAT WAS ON THE PHONE AS I WALKED TOWARD MY ROOM YEA I KNO
W YOUR BOYFRIEND DONT LET YOU EAT, AM JUST ASKING YOU IF YOU WANTED SOMETHING TO
EAT NOT IF I CAN EAT YOU HE LAUGHED AS HE LICKED HIS LIPS JUST THEN I WANTED HI
S LIPS TO TOUCH WHEN I HEARD MY MOM SAY NICHOLE I SEE YOU ARE UP, I QUICKLY TURN
ED AROUND YEA I AM JUST BRUSHED MY TEETH HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN UP (SINCE SHE LO
OKED LIKE SHE HADNT BEEN TO SLEEP) SHE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID I DONT KNOW IF LIKE
I HAVENT BEEN SLEEP DO YOU NEED SOME MONEY AS SHE REACHED IN HER POCKET AND PUL
LED OUT A BRUNCH OF BALLED UP MONEY NAW AM COOL JUST ABOUT TO GET DRESS SHE STUF
F THE MONEY BACK IN HER JEANS AND WALK OVER A KISS ME ON THE FORHEAD YOU KNOW MO
MMY LOVES YOU SHE SAID AS SHE WALKED AWAY I WASHED HER AS SHE WALKE ALL THE WAY
TO HER ROOM AND SHUT DOOR THINKING YOU NOT EVEN GOING TO TALK ABOUT WHAT I SEEN
EARLIER I JUST SHOOK MY HEAD SO............................... ARE YOU COMING ON
NOT I HEARD WHAT! I LOOKED AT JAMES AND SAID SO ARE YOU COMING OR NOT! YES DAMN
DONT YELL AT ME GIRL GO GET DRESS HE SAID AS HE WAVED HE HAND I WALKED IN THE R
OOM AND GOT DRESS I PUT ON THIS PLAID MINNI SKIRT WITH A WHITE BLOUSE WITH SOME
WHITE STOCKINGS WITH SOME LITTLE HEELS PUT MY MAKE UP ON A PUT MY HAIR IN TWO PO
NY TAILS AND SPRAYED SOME PERFUME ON AND TOOK A QUICK GLANCE AT MYSELF AND WALK
OUT THE ROOM AM READY I SAID AS HE HAD HIS HEAD DOWN ROLLING A JOINT OK AM READY
AS HE FINISHED ROLLING THE JOINT DAMN! ARE WE GOING OUT I THOUGHT WE WAS JUST G
RABBING BREAKFAST WOW YOU LOOK GOOD AS HE SMILED AT ME THANKS I SAID AND I JUST
LIKE TO LOOK GOOD WHEN I GO OUT IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT I SMILED NAW NOT IF
YOU LOOK LIKE THAT AS HE GRABED MY ARM AND WALKED OUT THE DOOR SO HE LOOKED AT
ME AS HE STARTED THE CAR WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO? I DONT KNOW YOU ASK ME, WEL
L IAM HUNGRY AND I WANTED TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER BUT AM NOT FROM HERE AM FROM
DETROIT I ONLY BEEN HERE A COUPLE OF DAYS SO I DONT KNOW WHERE TO GO EAT AT I J
UST KNOW HOW TO GET HERE FROM MY NIGGA'S SPOT SO TELL ME A GOOD SPOT TO EAT AS H
E PUSHED THE GAS PEDAL A LITTLE HARDER WELL..............LETS SEE I KNOW SUNRISE
CAFE HAVE SOME GOOD FOOD LET'S GO THERE SO WE HIT LINCONLWAY WEST TO GO THERE I
TOLD HIM DO YOU KNOW WHERE LINCOLWAY IS? YEA IF I TAKE CHAPIN ALL THE WAY DOWN
IT WILL RUN INTO LINCOLWAY RIGHT? VERY GOOD FOR SOMEONE WHO'S NOT FROM HERE I SM
ILED SO DO I GET A KISS FOR IT? HE LOOKED AT ME WITH THEM BIG SEXY EYES NO! I SC
REAMED YOU KNOW I HAVE A MAN CANT HELP BUT TRY HE SAID AS HE TURNED THE MUSIC U
P THIS IS MY SHIT AS HE STARTED RAPPING YOUR MOUTH IS SAYING NO BUT YOUR BODY SA
YING STICK ME, LICK ME, DONT BE AFRIAD OF WHAT YOUR FRIENDS SAY RAPPERS GET THA
T ASS AND BE OUTTA HERE LIKE YESTERDAY BUT NOT TONITE YOU LOOK RIGHT THIS INDO G
OT ME PERVING LET'S GO HOP IN MY SUBBURAN RIDE TO............... BEFORE HE COULD
FINISH I SAID WHO IS THAT OH THAT MJG AND EIGHTBALL SPACE AGE PIMPIN WHY YOU DO
NT LIKE THAT UH? HE SAID A TURNED IT DOWN NO ITS COOL I LIKE I JUST WANTED TO KN
OW WHO SUNG IT THAT'S ALL I GET SPACE AGE PIMPIN I SMILED AS I LOOKED AT HIM NAW
 NOT ME I JUST LIKE THE GROUP THAT'S ALL YOU DONT HAVE TO EXPLIAN TO ME I SAID A
S I LOOKED AT THE WINDOW IT'S RIGHT THERE I POINTED AS WE WAS PULLING UP THIS
IS A SMALL PLACE HE SAID AS HE GOT OUT THE CAR YEA COME ON THEY HAVE GREAT FOOD
DOE AS I GRABED HIM. YOU BETTER STOP BEFORE YOU BOYFRIEND SEE YOU HE SMILED AS
HE OPEN THE DOOR WE WALKED IN AND HAD A SIT AT THE TABLE SO WHAT'S GOOD HERE HE
SAID AS HE LOOKED IN THE MENU GET THE SUNRISE SPECIAL I POINTED AT THE BROAD LOO
K AM NOT BROKE YOU DONT HAVE TO ORDER THE SPECIALS HE SAID AS HE LOOKED AT THE M
ENU SOME MORE OK I LIKE THE SPECIALS DIDNT SAY YOU WAS BROKE BUT THANKS FOR THE
INFORMATION I SAID AS I CALLED FOR THE WAITRESS TO COME SHE CAME AND WE BOTH ORD
ERED THE SPECIALS AFTER THE WAITERESS LEFT I LAUGHED AND SAID POCKETS NOT SO FAT
UH? NEEDED TO ORDER THE SPECIAL TOO HE SMILED AND SAID NAW JUST LOOKED GOOD THA
T'S ALL! WE TALKED ABOUT ALL TYPE OF THINGS UNTIL WE RELIZED WE HAD BEEN SITTING
THERE FOR THREE HOURS WOW LOOK AT THE TIME RICKY IS GOING TO KILL ME I LEFT MY
PAGER AT HOME I HAVE TO GO AS I GRABBED MY PURSE OK CHILL OUT LET ME PAY FOR THE
BILL I WILL TAKE YOU HOME AS HE WAVED FOR THE WAITRESS TO COME. HE PAID THE BIL
L AND WE LEFT ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS HOW MAD RICKY IS RIGHT NOW I KNOW HE H
AS CALLED AND PAGED ME SEVERAL TIMES ( HE HATED WHEN I DIDNT ANSWER MY PAGER) HE
Y, HEY YOU OK JAMES SAID AS HE SHOOK MY ARM YEA IAM SORRY THINKING ABOUT MY BOY
FRIEND AND HOW HE GONNA CURSE ME OUT ME I GET HOME PLUS A THOUSAND QUESTIONS . W
HERE BEEN, WHO WAS YOU WITH ETC ETC ETC. NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS AS I TOOK A
DEEP BREATHE. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN ALL OF THAT TO HIM ? ARE YA MARRIED? F
UCK HIM HE DONT HAVE TO KNOW YOUR EVERY MOVE YOU KNOW HE SAID AS HE LOOKED AT ME
WITH THIS WHAT THE FUCK LOOK SHIT NOT HIM HE HAS TO KNOW MY EVERY MOVE OR HE GE
TS MAD AND........... WELL HE GETS MAD AS I LOOKED AWAY FROM HIM WHAT WHY DID YO
U PAUSE LIKE THAT ! HE WHAT WHEN HE GETS MAD AS HIS VOICE RAISED A LITTLE NOTHIN
G! DAMN NOW YOU ACT LIKE MY MAN AS WE PULLED UP IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE I GRABBED T
HE CAR DOOR AND JUMPED OUT AND RAN IN THE HOUSE TO GET MY PAGER I WENT IN MY ROO
M AND HEARD IT BEEPING I KNEW IT I SAID AS I GRABBED IT 25 TIMES DAMN HE PAGED M
E 25 TIMES FUCK I KNOW HIS MAD NOW I THOUGHT AS MY PAGER STARTED GOING OFF AGAIN
I LOOKED AT THE NUMBER DAMN LET ME CALL HIM I PICKED UP THE PHONE IN MY ROOM AN
D BEGAN TO DAIL WHEN I HEARD MY MOM'S VOICE NO! THATS NOT WHAT WE AGREED ON IF H
E IS TO WORK OUT MY HOUSE THEN I SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET WHAT I WANT FROM HIM BECA
USE I CAN SELL DOPE OUT MY OWN HOUSE! O.K. KAY LOOK I WILL BE OVER THERE JUST C
ALL ME WHEN JAMES GET THERE OK THE OTHERE VOICE SAID ON THE PHONE. I JUST SAT TH
ERE FOR A MIN. HOLDING THE PHONE IN MY HAND THAT'S WHY HE IS HERE HE IS SELLING
DOPE OUTTA HERE WOW I COULD HEAR THE OPERATOR IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO MAKE A CALL P
LEASE HANG UP AND TRY YOUR CALL AGAIN I COULDNT EVEN HANG THE PHONE UP AS MY PAG
ER IS STILL BLOWING UP I THOUGHT MAYBE I CAN GO STAY BACK WITH MY GRANNY NAW I C
ANT LEAVE MY MOM LIKE MY SISTER AND BROTHER DID IF I LIVE WHO WOULD SHE HAVE I H
UNG THE PHONE UP AND STARTED CRYING GOD WHY DID YOU TAKE MY DADDDY AND LET MY MO
M GET ON DRUGS I SAID AS I LOOKED TOWARD THE CEILING MY PAGER STARTED GOING OFF
AGAIN DAMN IT STOP CALLING ME AS I THREW THE PAGER ON THE BED I CANT DEAL WITH T
HIS RIGHT NOW ! AS I GRABBED MY HEAD LESLIE TELEPHONE I HEARD MY MOM SAY AS SHE
KNOCKED ON MY DOOR OK I YELLED I DIDNT WANT HER TO KNOW I WAS CRYING SO I NEVER
OPENED THE DOOR HELLO YOU WANT ME TO BEAT YOUR ASS UH? THE CALLER SAID RICKY? WH
O THE FUCK ELSE WOULD BE CALLING YOU! HE YELLED AND WHERE THE FUCK YOU BEEN WITH
OUT YOUR PAGER AM ABOUT TO COME OVER THERE RIGHT FUCKING NOW YOU HEAR AND YOU KN
OW YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD REASON WHY YOU DIDNT HAVE YOUR PAGER YOU HEAR UH NICHO
LE? YES I SAID WHEN ARE YOU COMIMING IN ABOUT AN HOUR BE DRESS ! OK HELLO, HELL
O DAMN THAT DUDE RUDE I SAID AS I SAT BACK ON THE BED I WANTED TO PICK THE PHONE
UP AND CALL MY GRANNY BUT I DIDNT WANT HER TO KNOW MY MOM WAS ON DRUGS SO I SAT
THERE AND TALKED TO MY DAD, DADDY PLEASE LOOK OVER ME TONITE AS I LEAVE WITH TH
IS MAN PLEASE DADDY DONT LOOK DOWN ON ME I LOVE THIS MAN AND I KNOW I CAN CHANGE
HIM I KNOW YOU DIDNT RAISE ME TO TAKE NO SHIT BUT IT HURTS ME MORE TO BE AWAY F
ROM HIM THAN FOR HIM TO HIT ME AND HE TAKES CARE OF ME, JUST LIKE YOU DADDY HE R
EMINDS ME OF YOU SOMETIMES AS I HEAR A KNOCK ON THE DOOR. WELL DADDY GOTTA GO LO
VE YOU AS I BLOW A KISS TO THE CEILING AND WALK OUT MY ROOM TO ANSWER THE DOOR
I GOT IT I SAID AS I SEEN JAMES GETTING UP TO ANSWER THE DOOR. HEY BABY AS I REA
CHED TO HUG HIM DONT TOUCH ME LETS GO AS HE WALKED AWAY FROM THE DOOR LET ME GRA
BB MY PURSE AS I SHUT THE DOOR YOUR DUDE SOME MAD JAMES SAID AS I GRABBED MY PUR
SE FROM OUT THE ROOM SHUT UP ITS YOUR FAULT AS I RUSHED OUT THE DOOR. I JUMPED I
N THE CAR AND RICKY PULLED OFF WHERE THE FUCK YOU BEEN DRESSED LIKE THAT! HE SAI
D AS HE LOOKED ME UP AND DOWN JUST THEN HE MADE ME FEEL DIRTY NOWHERE I SAID HE
REACHED OVER AND SLAPPED THE SHIT OUT OF ME WRONG ANSWER NOW AM GONNA SLAP THE S
HIT OUT OF YOU UNTIL I HEAR THE ANSWER I WANT SO LETS TRY AGAIN WHERE HAVE YOU B
EEN NICHOLE!