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The True Story of the Three Little Pigs NARRATOR 2: That's when his nose started to

CHARACTERS: (8) Narrator 1 Narrator 2 NARRATOR 1: He felt a sneeze coming on.
Pig 1 NARRATOR 2: Well, he huffed. NARRATOR 1:
Pig 2 Pig 3 Wolf Puppy Cat And he snuffed.
NARRATORS: And he sneezed a great sneeze.
WOLF: Everybody knows the story of the Three NARRATOR 1: And you know what? That whole
Little Pigs. Or at least they think they do. But I'll let darn straw house fell down. And right in the middle
you in on a little secret. Nobody knows the real of the pile of straw was the First Little Pig- dead as
story, because nobody has ever heard my side of the a doornail.
story. I'm the Wolf. Alexander Brian Percival NARRATOR 1: It seemed like a shame to leave a
Wolfric John T. Wolf. But you can call me Al. perfectly good ham dinner lying there in the straw.
So the wolf ate it up.
NARRATOR 1: No one knows just how this whole NARRATOR 2: Just think of it as a big
Big Bad Wolf thing got started, but it's all wrong. cheeseburger just lying there.
NARRATOR 2: Maybe it's because wolves eat cute NARRATOR 1: He was feeling a little better. But
little animals like bunnies and sheep and pigs. he still didn't have his cup of sugar.
That's just the way they are. If cheeseburgers were NARRATOR 2: So he went to the next neighbor's
cute, folks would probably think people were Big house.
and Bad, too. NARRATOR 1: This neighbor was the First Little
NARRATOR 1: But the whole Big Bad thing is all Pig's sister. She was a little smarter, but not much.
wrong. She had built his house of sticks.
NARRATOR 2: The real story is about a sneeze NARRATOR 2: He rang the bell on the stick house.
and a cup of sugar. NARRATOR 1: Nobody answered.
NARRATOR 1: Way back in Once Upon a Time NARRATOR 2: So he called:
time, our friend, the wolf, was making a birthday
cake for his dear granny. WOLF: Awooh! Hey Ms. Pig, ... Ms. Pig, are you
NARRATOR 2: He had a terrible sneezing cold. in?
NARRATOR 1: He had ran out of milk. So he
walked down the street to ask his neighbor for a cup NARRATOR 1: Scaredy Ms. Pig told herself:
of milk.
NARRATOR 1: Now this neighbor was a pig. 2ND PIG: Oh My Pork, it’s the big bad wolf. If I
NARRATOR 2: And she wasn't too bright, either. answer him, he might eat me.
NARRATOR 1: She had built her whole house out
of straw. NARRATOR 2: But the wolf called again:
NARRATOR 2: Can you believe it? Who in his
right mind would build a house out of straw? WOLF: Hey Ms. Pig, do you have a cup of milk
NARRATOR 1: So the Wolf called. there?

WOLF: Awooh! Little Pig ... Little Pig, are you 2ND PIG: < music: And I am telling you, I’m not
in? going.. You’re the bad wolf, I’ve always known.
There’s no way I could ever go. No no no no way,
1ST PIG: Go away wolf. You can't come in. I'm no no no way I’m giving you this milk. I’m staying,
busy chatting with my Pigsters. I’m staying. And you, and you, and you, you’re
gonna leave me.. >
WOLF: But all I need is a cup of milk..
NARRATOR 1: But the wolf had grabbed the
1ST PIG: Ugh.. < music: Hello hello bad wolf you doorknob when he felt another sneeze coming on.
called I can’t hear a thing. I have got no service in NARRATOR 2: He huffed. NARRATOR 1: And
the club you say say. What what what did you say he snuffed.
do you need a cup of milk? Sorry I cannot hear you NARRATORs: And he tried to cover his mouth, but
I’m kind of busy > he sneezed a great sneeze.
NARRATOR 1: And you're not going to believe it,
NARRATOR 1: The wolf was just about to head but this guy's house fell down just like his brother's.
back home without a cup of milk NARRATOR 2: When the dust cleared, there was
the second Little Pig -- dead as a doornail.
3RD PIG: Haha, you think you could blow my
WOLF: Wolf's honor! house down? Ha, think again. Oh, and tell your old
granny I would send her my casket gift tomorrow!
NARRATOR 1: Now you know food will spoil if Haha!
you leave it out in the open. So the wolf did the
only thing there was to do. He had dinner again. NARRATOR 1: The wolf was usually a pretty calm
NARRATOR 2: Just think of it as a second helping. fellow. But when he heard somebody talk about his
NARRATOR 1: He was getting awfully full. But dear, sweet old granny like that, he went a little
his cold was feeling a little better. crazy.
NARRATOR 2: And he still didn't have that cup of NARRATOR 2: Or maybe, a little too crazy. Yikes!
milk for his dear old granny's birthday cake. NARRATOR 1: This time, the wolf was really full.
NARRATOR 1: So the wolf went to the next house. NARRATOR 2: And then his conscience hit him.
This guy was the First and Second Little Pigs' oldest
sister. WOLF: < music: If I were a pig, I would give Bad
NARRATOR 2: She must have been the brains of Wolf milk.. I would give him all he wanted, coz I
the family. Because she had built her house of know that he’s a really good friend. If I were a Pig!
bricks. I would give bad wolf Milk! I would be too kind to
NARRATOR 1: The wolf knocked on the brick him, I swear I’d be a better pig.. But I’m just a wolf.
house. No answer. >

WOLF: Awooh! Lady Pig,. . . Lady Pig, are you NARRATOR 1: But then suddenly he thought, why
in? should he cry? He’s the good guy. And it’s the pigs’
NARRATOR 2: And do you know what that rude
little porker answered? WOLF: < music: I’m not gonna cry now, for what I
did ain’t bad.. All these pigs have come and gone,
3RD PIG: Get out of here, Wolf. Don't but I’m still standing.. Yeah, all these pigs have
bother me. Don’t you know I’m rehearsing my come and gone, but I’m still standing.. Haha >
NARRATOR 2: Just then the cops drove up, with
WOLF: But I only need--- Inspector Puppy and Officer Meow.

3RD PIG: (goes out) WHAT-DO-YOU-WANT- PUPPY: Is everything alright here Mr. Wolf? We
FROM-ME? heard a loud noise.

WOLF: I would just like to ask if you have--- WOLF: Ah, I’m sorry, but who are you guys?
3RD PIG: < music: Just shut your mouth, I’m
working my voice.. Just leave me now, I won’t back PUPPY: Well, I’m just Inspector Puppy.. And I,
you down.. You mess me up, need a second to am, your, biggest FAN! < music: I’m your biggest
breath.. Just don’t come here around, yeah. fan I’ll follow you until you love me, Puppy-
Whataya want from me? Whataya want from me?> puppyrazzi. Bad wolf you’re so famous, chase me
down until you love me puppyrazzi.. Promise I’ll be
NARRATOR 1: Talk about impolite! kind, but I won’t stop until this graph is signed. Bad
NARRATOR 2: He probably had a whole gallon of wolf you’re so famous, chase me down until you
milk! love me, puppyrazzi. >
NARRATOR 1: And he wouldn't give the wolf
even one little cup for his dear, sweet old granny's NARRATOR 1: The wolf was unaware that Officer
birthday cake. Meow already saw the crime scene and is
NARRATOR 2: What a pig! suspecting the wolf for the broken houses and
NARRATOR 1: The wolf was just about to go missing pigs.
home and maybe make a nice birthday card instead
of a cake, when he felt his cold coming on. MEOW: You, you, you. You’re a bad, bad, wolf.
N 2: He huffed. N 1: And he snuffed. And you can’t be tamed!
NARRATORS: And he sneezed once again!
NARRATOR 1: Then the Third Little Pig yelled: PUPPY: (shocked) I’m sorry sir, but you’ve left me
no choice
I'm just a poor wolf nobody loves me
MEOW: Arrest him! He's just a poor wolf from a poor family tree
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
NARRATOR 2: The police officers struggled to
tame the wolf until he finally surrendered was Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
brought the to jail… Bismillah! No, we will not let you go
Let him go
NARRATOR 1: They figured a sick guy going to Bismillah! We will not let you go
borrow a cup of milk didn't sound very exciting to Let him go
the public. Bismillah! We will not let you go
NARRATOR 2: So they jazzed up the story with all Let me go (Will not let you go)
that "huff and puff" and "blow your house down" Let me go (Will not let you go) (Never, never,
stuff. never, never)
NARRATOR 1: And they told the whole world Let me go, o, o, o, o
about the Big Bad Wolf who blew down three No, no, no, no, no, no, no
innocent pigs’ houses. (Oh mama mia, mama mia) Mama Mia, let me
NARRATOR 2: That's it. go
NARRATOR 1: That’s the real story. Beelzebub has the devil put aside for me, for
me, for me!
So you think you can stone me and spit in my
NARRATORS: But maybe, you could lend him a eye
cup of sugar So you think you can love me and leave me to
WOLF: <music: Mama, I killed a pig.. Blew their Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby
house down in the trash, now I’m guilty and I’m Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta
locked. Mama, life has just begun! And now I’ve here
ruined all your dreams for me. Mama, o-ooh-oh. I
don’t wanna die, I sometimes wish I’ve never been [Guitar Solo]
born at all. Carry on, carry on! > (Oooh yeah, Oooh yeah)

<all: Bohemian rhapsody chorus> Nothing really matters

Anyone can see
Mama I killed a pig Nothing really matters
Blew their houses down the thrash Nothing really matters to me
Now their bodies lie and dead
Mama, life has just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooh
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters

Mama, oooooooh (Anyway the wind blows)

I don't want to die
Sometimes wish I'd never been born at all

[Guitar Solo]

I see a little silhouetto of a man

Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the
Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very
frightening me
(Galileo) Me (Galileo) Me, Galileo Figaro