The Arctic Monkey's Unofficial Guide To Burning Man

The Arctic Monkey's Completely Unofficial Burning Man Guide and Pack List
Legal Stuff:
All information contained within this document is protected by United States of America copyright law. This guide is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Share-Alike 3.0 license in accordance with the ten Principles of Burning Man. http://www.burningman.com/whatisburningman/about_burningman/principles.html You are free to share, copy, distribute, and transmit this work, and you are free to remix, adapt, change, or remit the work under the following conditions: Attribution. You must attribute the work in the manner specified by the author or licensor, but no in any way endorses you or your use of the work. Noncommercial. You may not use this work for commercial purposes, including, but not limited to, paid articles, linked articles, articles written for profit, books, magazines, or any other for-profit work. Do not Sell. You may not abridge or sell this work in any way, shape or form for profit without explicit compensation to both the author and the Black Rock Arts Foundation in equal measure. Share Alike: if you alter, transform, or build upon this work, including appendixes, revisions, changes or shifts, you may only distribute the work under the same or similar license to this license. License. For any reuse or distribution, you must make clear to others the license terms of this work. Any of the above conditions may be waived if the author is contacted and permission is obtained in written form. Verbal agreements are not acceptable. By navigating or reading past this page, you acknowledge and accept the terms of this license agreement and agree to abide by the terms of the license. To read the full text of the license, visit the URL below.
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.5/legalcode
The Arctic Monkeys Totally And Completely Unofficial Guide to Burning Man, 2011 Edition
Who is the Arctic Monkey?

My name is Brian M. Wise. Im a technical writer based out of Seattle, and Ive been actively attending Burning Man and Burning Man events since 2004. Through a series of ups and downs, of art projects that worked brilliantly and working the event, volunteering, helping newbies out for the first time and developing new and interesting ways to break myself at the event, Ive come to the point where I realize one of my greatest skills is not to show people how to do things, but to tell people about the experiences Ive had in traveling to the event. Im male, in my mid-thirties, and Ive worked in technology companies. Ive camped, traveled and backpacked, ridden a bike over two hundred miles in Texas summer heat, hiked through snow country, and stayed in five-star hotels while getting waited on hand and foot. Im also married to someone who its unlikely will ever attend the event in her lifetime, whos stated that she would have gone when she was younger, but is definitively not interested in going now. We met when I returned from Burning Man in 2008 after getting laid off, having an extremely frustrating travel partner experience. I went back in 2009 and 2010, and got married in December of 2010. Ive been a spectator, a participant, a volunteer, a staff member, a community organizer, a heckler, an evangelist, and a candidate for a Burning Man regional position. And I tell you right now that you should take EVERYTHING I say here and elsewhere with a grain of salt. My experiences have nothing to do with your experiences. You may love the event. You may hate it. You may embark on a ten-year affiliation and love affair with the event before running away from it. But all I write about is what to bring, what to expect, and why expectations are probably the least intelligent thing you can bring along to the playa. Theres realms of my experience that arent valid for large swathes of people. Ive never flown into the event; Ive never attended without driving from Seattle or Oregon. Ive met and fallen in love on the playa; Ive changed my entire life, Ive had miserable times and Ive had moments of sheer joy and rapture. And none of that should affect how you expect the event to treat you. Theres another warning, and that is that in some circles Burning Man is considered to be somewhat cultish. Theres definitely a flavor, but any cult that hands out bumper stickers that state There is no I in cult and cheerfully points out that they set the spiritual leader of the event on fire at the end of it probably should not fall into it. I have always hated the Burner who says, Were all [insert personal conviction statement here] and all about [insert personal hippie statement here]. The beauty of Burning Man is that it is accepting of The Other the other perspective, the other character, the other view. You can see something on the playa thats art or perspective and HATE it with your entire being but the event exists to bring everything to life. Not just your personal preferences. It aint about you, in other words, its about what you bring. Burning Man is the definition of Freak City but theres 52,000 other freaks out there embracing their personal definition of insanity. Most of all, this guide intends to tell you first and foremost the Golden Rule of the Playa: Take care of YOURSELF. If eight years of attendance has taught me anything, its that you react best when you put
yourself and your health physical, mental, and otherwise first. Dont do something because you feel like youre supposed to do it do it because you WANT to do it. So if you want to go to Burning Man but dont know where to start, read on. If you want to know more about me, check out my website at http://www.brianmwise.com It probably wont give you much detail about who I am or where to find me, but hey, at least you get to look at my beautiful shining handsome face.
Special Thanks and Considerations To:

Ice Queen, Jengo, Scixxy, Alien Monkey Love Nesters of all stripes and morphications, Spikes Vampire Bar, Arctica, the crazy people of DPW, Maid Marian, We Are All At Work, BluesDomers and The Space Virgins, random people on the playa, The Crazy Kids of the G-Spot, that one guy on the playa who taught me about the pickle martini trick, Dane and Kathy, Thongy-Boy Bruce & Jezebel, my good friend and companion caffeine, The Bureau of Land Management and the people of the city of Cedarville, California, for they have saved many a Burner from their own stupid selves.
Special and heartfelt thanks to El Presidente, whose presence in 2009 and 2010 not only kept me sane, but made both of those journeys to the desert a road trip of good memories. Youre the kind of travel companion that makes journeys worthwhile.
But most of all thanks to you because if you werent going, thered be no reason for any of us to talk about this.
Introduction
All this started out of the list I have carried with me to every Event In the Desert. Every year I put together my list, and every year I bring back stuff I never used. When something Ive never used comes back, it gets crossed off the list. It expanded into a rationale of WHY I didnt use some of the stuff on the list to someone who hadnt been before. Then after I explained the rationale, there were more questions about the event itself and what went on there. I chatted with people and wound up realizing that there was far more about the event that I could tell from my perspective than could ever be covered by just talking with people. So I wrote a few blog posts. And I wrote some more. And now its this thing. So here it is. In no order, youre going to Burning Man. This assumes youre doing this with no real prep work from ground zero and/or are looking for new tips. Either way, read on. Cue the ominous music, please.
Step One
BUY A TICKET. Now, the rest is easy. Get yourself there. Have a great time. Participate. Leave No Trace. Get Yourself home. Sucker. The basic principles behind my list follow the General Ethos of Burners everywhere: Be so prepared your preparedness will make Boy Scout preparedness weep little khaki tears of shame. First rule: its a desert. Its hot. People die in hot deserts without the right stuff. Dont be stupid. Take the right stuff. Second rule: its a city. Theres lots of people doing stuff, some of it brilliant, some of it really stupid. Taking care of yourself and your needs prevents you from being the latter. Third rule: Boundaries arent taken down by the event; you take your boundaries down yourself. If you arent comfortable doing something, dont feel expected to do it. That includes this list. Guide is there for a reason. Your Mileage May Vary, Your Experience May Suck, and You May Find None of This Guide To Be At All Useful. Nothing is the Gospel Truth. Fourth Rule: You are responsible for yourself. Dont expect to show up and be waited on hand and foot for entertainment and possibilities. There are no dancing singing candles pouring you tea in an enchanted bouncy castle (although if you eat the red brownies, there might be). Drink water and dont expect people to take care of you. The Beginning of the List:
TICKET, DUMBASS.
If you dont bring your ticket, you dont get in. If you forgot your ticket, in 2008, you had two options. Go home and get your ticket or try to sneak in, get arrested, busted by either Perimeter or Gate, and get sent home or down to Reno to chill out with the cops in their new fancy Hotel For Morons (also known as jail). Theres a high probability that the Gate will have some kind of ability to charge your credit card so you dont have to go all they way home, wherever it is, if you DO have a ticket and just forgot it, and when you get back home to civilization, can send the ticket into the Burning man Org for your refund. By the way? Sneaking in is not a smart option. Ten miles of orange trash fence, twenty perimeter patrollers, BLM, local sheriffs, and plenty of people who find it fun to catch sneakers lengthens the odds considerably. If you made it ALL the way down to the event without buying a ticket, youre gambling pretty heavily on what you think might happen. All things are possible, but many are unlikely. Buy a ticket. Oh, and they have incredibly accurate ground radar. You know the kind that perimeter people might use to check to see if Guantanamo Bay prison escapes are happening? That kind. Perimeter used to be about finding people who snuck in; now its merely tapping the people who dont know that the Law Enforcement Officers (LEOs) are out in force and can see anyone outside the trash fence. I mean, its just not even funny any more.
Prepping Your Ride

If you plan on taking eighteen thousand pieces of art in a Honda Civic to the burn, dont be surprised when your vehicle burns out trying to climb the passes. If your transportation vehicle hasnt been out of the shed for more than a week, remember that your transportation is essential. Not only is it the only way in and out of the event, but its at least 100 miles to the nearest gas station or service area, and that isnt even counting the time it will take to get parts and fix your ride. Dont count on being able to get a brake job in Empire or new rims in Cedarville when your copilot strips the brakes on your truck. This is a road trip. If you take a vehicle you bought from some guy on the Internet who swears its ready to drive across country without checking it out, youre going to have a breakdown. If you overload your little truck with a massive trailer, even if you think it can handle it, youre likely going to have issues. Remember that your car is your lifeline in many ways, both to the event and from the event. Before going, take your car to the mechanic and get it completely checked out. Get oil changes (and take extra oil with you in the car), change the air filter and check all your fluids. If theres issues with your ride, get them fixed BEFORE you go on a 1,500 mile round trip event run. If youre driving across country, make sure you have both enough cash to stay in a hotel AND enough to save your vehicle from uncertain doom. Make sure you have towing services and insurance paid up; make sure your tires are ready to go, and make sure you check it on every gas station for odd smells. Sounds weird, huh? Remember, most of us who take our daily drivers out for work or to the store dont do a full stretch of driving for longer than an hour or more. Unless you live in Reno, Nevada, this is a road trip, and a road trip that requires a long stint. Your vehicle needs special care. Also make sure you have both your insurance fully paid AND insurance cards with you. Its not just the drive; windstorms on the playa can hurl objects with windshield-shattering force. Accidents happen; make sure you are protected. Ive ridden with people in ancient Fords and driven my own van, Ive taken my Honda Accord and a brand-new pickup truck. I rode with someone who played Mario Andretti with a trailer on the back, someone who abused my ride when he was allowed to drive and Ive ridden with someone who drove like he was channeling his grandmother. Guess which one I always loved riding with? Thats right The Granny formerly known as El Presidente, whose loving care and caution as a passenger extended to treating my old POS van like a delicate flower. Granted, a delicate flower filled with manky gear, but a delicate flower nonetheless. Also, keep your gas tank FULL. If you have a chance to stop off for gas, even if your tank is half full, fill it up. Not only does it give you a chance to stretch your legs, but making sure you have at least of a tank before you head to the playa makes it possible for you to drive OUT and not run low. Extra cans of gas If you have the option and/or room, and can carry one safely, its a good idea to bring an extra can of gas. The extra gas is not only helpful in the event you run low, but many camps and art cars use gas like its going out of style for generators and lighting. Even if you never use it, a gift of a couple of gallons of unleaded wont go amiss. Keep it safe, but if you can, carry it with you.
Packing and Repacking

Look at a pack of wheat thins. The majority of the box is occupied by air and packaging, not the actual food. So rather than packing the air and the packaging, you can recycle the materials ahead of time.
Repacking your food works great for dry goods like cereal, brownies, oreo cookies, wasabi peas, beef jerky, etc. Grab some Ziploc bags (large freezer-size) and zip em up. Not only will you be able to see your snacks, you can also compress the air out of them and roll them up tight for storage. You shouldnt need more than one 18-gallon bin of dry goods for two or more people if you do this religiously. This also works for frozen foods and raw foods, like premarinated steaks (or precooked, which is talked about further on). Its not really a good idea to do this with food like raw apples, bananas, etc, but its okay to do with things like sliced cheese and stuff that would normally keep well. For things like guacomole leave it in the package, but the tortilla chips and tortillas that go with it are perfectly fine. Precooked bacon? Repack it. Coolers I take one food cooler, one beverage cooler, and one box of foodwith around 4 12-packs of canned drinks and twenty gallons of water. I do this for two reasons my fruit smoothies, in a pinch, are perfect hangover food, and are always, ALWAYS welcome ice cold. Ice is available on playa at the 12 oclock, 9 oclock, and 3 oclock plazas from 9AM to 6PM every day. Seasonings Bring salt. Salt, salt, salt. Salt peanuts. Salt pretzels. Dill pickles. Anything tasty and salty not only plants salt into your body to help keep water in it, its also tasty good. Try a dill pickle martini sometime a very cold 3oz of vodka mixed with 4oz of ice-cold pickle juice. Green olives, kalamata olives, you name it. Le. Yum. Water and Rehydration Stupid as it sounds, the piss clear motto is a reminder, not a commandment. Water intoxication is real. What is Water Intoxication? Where you drink so much water that your bodys systems cannot handle the amount of fluid going into you. Its essentially drowning your bodys natural systems in fluid and removing the natural salts and electrolytes from your body that you need to function. Overconsuming water without retaining it is a serious issue on the playa. Take Gatorade, salt tabs, electrolyte tabs, whatever you need to retain your water. Dont believe me? Im the child of a microbiologist who specializes in water filtration, and spent my formative years peering at e.coli and cryptosporidium under a microscope for my first allowance money. Water is the stuff of life, but remember that too much water washes all the beneficial components of your body. Ice, Ice Baby Full disclosure: I work for the Ice Queens that is, the ice distribution network that exists at Burning Man. Ice is sold for $3-4 per bag on the playa during the week, from the Sunday afternoon before to the Sunday after the Burn. Ice is one of those things that is a medical requirement in the heat not only to keep food cold but to prevent heatstroke. You need to buy ice while youre out there. Keep bandanas soaking in the cooler and keep a fresh batch of ice at all times to place on the back of your neck and your forehead the top of your head, hands, and feet all provide massive cooling relief if youre overheated. Plus, ice baths help if youre feeling a wee bit overblown. Overall? Eat what youre hungry for. Life is both short and beautiful. Eat dessert first. Do not worry about balanced meals. Worry more about consuming fiber, liquid, and salt enough to keep you going. If you think youll plow through four pounds of salad in the first day, go for it; just remember the port-a-potties are almost ALWAYS well-distanced from
wherever you are camping. (And if theyre not, just remember that even a block away is too close during the three-oclock sunshowers. If youve never been inside a portapotty on a hot day in the desert, you may not understand). And if your system does not react well to certain foods that you would take camping for a week, then make sure you pack Immodium A-D.
WATER If you dont bring at least fifteen gallons of water, STOP. GO BACK TO RENO. GO BACK TO KLAMATH FALLS. GET IT. Im not kidding. You can survive in the desert only with water. I usually bring 20 gallons, because Im lazy, people like having water, and I just keep sticking it places that I can find in the car that arent yet occupied by other things. Water is simply one of those things that wont screw you up if you have it with you, but will definitely screw you up if you dont. If you have room in your vehicle, I suggest purchasing a five-gallon job site water cooler, filling it with ice, then dumping water into it until the ice floats. The ice will melt in the heat; and lo and behold, you have fresh, cold water to drink and you can drop your gallon purchase by 1/3. WARNING: Do not drink water and only water, and expect that water will save you from dehydration and illness. The exhortation to drink as much water as possible can and does backfire. Make sure that not only do you have enough water, but enough electrolytes and liquids that keep your body in balance. The person who chugs two gallons a day is probably just rinsing their system. The person who drinks at least a gallon of liquids and keeps their electrolytes and blood sugar in balance is keeping their system in balance. Drinking water is not enough getting enough liquids and dietary supplements to keep you going is far more important than the sheer volume of liquid consumed. ICE Yep, they sell ice at Burning Man. It now costs $3 for a bag of crushed ice; $15 for a six-pack. Its a good idea to bring money for that reason. When your ice melts, it becomes water, which can make your playa area a mucky, gucky mess. Bring a bucket to drain your ice water its helpful and keeps the playa mudfree. Again, theyre cheap a five-gallon plastic bucket is $3 at Lowes or Home Depot. And if you keep your coolers clean, you can use the cooler water to fuel your playa shower. FOOD LIST: Keep in mind that I also live off of Burning Man food and the remainders of what I took to the playa for a month. Plus I also feed damn near anyone in my camp, to the point of pouncing on them and shoving food in their mouths. YOU WILL NOT NEED TO BRING THIS MUCH FOOD. In fact, cut this in half for a family of four. Tips: if youre not bringing an RV or microwave or setting up a kitchen, youll likely be eating out of cans or packages of food. While its tempting to use your vehicle hood or other flat metal as a food warmer, it can also backfire on you (literally). I wont explain the Sun Chicken incident of 2005, but the name alone should give you pause to this method of cooking. I HIGHLY recommend if you do want heated food, to wrap premade food in foil and to heat it on a propane grill, disposing of your foil afterwards (in your Ziploc bag, of course!) Youll notice that on almost all the meats, I precook them. I dont like my food to take very long because I dont LIKE spending an hour making food. I like heating my portable grill up, slapping a few slabs of meat down, wolfing down the food, and moving on. Easy! Which means if I have cheese, I preslice and preshred. I do ALL the prep work at home. The only thing I dont prep is eggs but thats because I buy the carton of EggProduct and make my scrambled eggs from there, if at all (I cannot STAND eggs unless they're in cookies or as a holder of things like beans, rice, tomato, jalapenos, etc). If I have ANYTHING thats food related that might need me to do more than open a Ziploc bag and dump it out onto something else, Ive not done my job right.
Canned versus bottles? Glass may look lovely. Glass may be nice. Glass is fucking heavy. Avoid glass, with or without liquid. It's also something you have to pack in and out, and believe me, the minute you wind up with a giant bag of broken glass, you have a bag of suck. Sure, this does mean you have to be picky about the whiskey you drink (or refuse to be, as the case may be) OR to be extremely careful to keep your glassware taken care of. You can apply this tip to your food and beverage cups. One final note on food before we go to the list: bring both Immodium A-D and Pepto-Bismol, as well as your laxative of choice. Sounds silly, right? Not so much. Diarrhea and constipation will fuck your day in five minutes. So make sure you bring enough. The Arctic Monkeys Frozen Food Cooler 4 burritos, frozen, foil-wrapped, cut in half in ziploc bag 4 lbs bacon, cooked to 80%, frozen. (Bake at 400 degrees in pan with lip, sponge off grease, bag in Ziploc, freeze) 24 pancakes, 6", cooked to 90%, frozen 2 cans veggie chili 5 lbs beefsteak, cooked to 80%, ziploced, frozen 1 beefstick, sliced thin, ziplocked 1 pack frozen sausage patties 2 lb sliced turkey lunchmeat 4 cans frozen pineapple juice 4 cans frozen limeade Poured into blocky sealable jug, frozen 2lb cheddar cheese, sliced 1 lb sliced provolone Wheels of laughing Cow cheese *Note: I seal everything in plastic and keep anything that could leak via icewater towards the top of the cooler, away from where the water will congregate. I do this because I use the melted icewater from the cooler as my shower water, draining it into a five-gallon bucket and then using that as water to bathe with. Your Ziplocs should take care of most of this, but put your packaged food (pancakes, meats, takeout) towards the top and place the bottled stuff towards the bottom. Dry Packaged food (with as much plastic and cardboard packing removed as possible, canned goods okay to not remove): Condiments: Salt and Pepper Tapatio Mustard Sugar (cubes or crystal, 1lb) Caffeine: Starbucks Via or other instant coffee, 12pk Instant tea mix, lemon Zipfizz/Zipshots 24pk Snacks: Tortilla chips Spray cheese (in a can) (4) Pickles (4 large jars)
10
Olives (large jar) Crackers (3 boxes) Beef jerky (2) Peanut butter pretzels Tostitos cheese dip (can) Fritos bean dip (can) Sweet salsa Candy: Green tea mints Orbitz gum or similar xylitol-based gum Jolly Ranchers Skittles Black licorice Vitamins: Chewable Vitamin C Omega-3 Chewies B12 supplements 5-htp supplements Canned beverages: Hansen Fruit Smoothies (1 case) Gookinaid (one tub, 8 smallpack) Frozen, In Cooler Lemonade (2qt, x2) 8 Snickers Bars (doubleBoozahols 2 bottles cheap vodka (1.75l) 2 bottles good whiskey (750) 2 bottles good rum 6 bottles good champagne PBR in the can (24) Good canned beer or lagers (24) Strongbow or other canned hard cider(12) What can I say? I loves me the white wine. And thats the key white wine doesnt go rancid the way red can in the heat as long as you keep it in a cooler with your beer. Mixers Canned colas (24) V8, Spicy (12) Fresh food (NOT FROZEN): I usually stick all my fresh food in the beverage cooler. That way, I not only have it sitting right in front of me, but can munch on an apple. And if my beer is cold, so is my apple. Fruit: Apples Oranges Limes
11
Veggies Avocados / guacomole Lettuce shreds Cucumbers Breads: Sandwich bread Pita pockets English muffins
12
Gear List
Kitchen: Table Skillet Sponge Camp stove Wooden cutting board bowl (metal) Knife Forks Spoons (or sporks!) Plastic pitcher with sealing top Metal martini shaker Water bottle Liquor flask Can opener Corkscrew Kettle Cleaning 20 or more 55 gallon contractor bags (5mil) Wide shovel (snow, with solid blade, no plastic) Garden screen Cardboard box for burnables Paper towels Spray cleaner Baby wipes Kitchen area tarp (8x8) Dr. Bronners Soap Scrubby Sponge Dishwash bins (2) Sanitation Baby wipes 5-gallon cat litter bucket (full of cat litter) Toilet paper Nitrile or latex gloves Ziploc bags Tenting Tent Tent tarp or groundcloth Shade structure for over the tent Rebar stakes (essential) 100 strong rope Non-tent shade structures (at least 1) Mattress pad / inflatable Mattress pump Sleeping bags / bedding Sheets (2)
13
Impermeable sheet (get a sheet thats intended for night-time accidents and throw it over the top of your bed during the day. Your tent will fill with dust regardless of what you do, but the impermeable sheets help keep the dust out.) Pillows (2) Extra blanket Cover sheet Dropcloth or area rugs Camp chairs Battery-powered lights/lantern
14
Tools
Trucker tie-down straps Rope Extension cords 6-plug outlets Pliers Crowbar Sledgehammer Comfortable work gloves Vehicle oil Car starter (or jumper cables) Bike lube Hand cleaner Bike lock (if bike brought) Bike light (if bike brought) First Aid Kit (basic, add) Hand sanitizer Maxipads Cloth tape Saline solution Immodium A-D Pepto Bismol Aleve Personal LED headlamp Sunscreen Lip balm Camera Cellphone Goggles Miscellaneous Personal razor kit Apple Cider vinegar Foot bath basin Sunglasses (2pr) Towels Portable shower Tub for gray water (something big enough to stand in) Bandanna or headrags Hats Body Scrubbies Body oil & lotion Nasal spray Condoms Electrical tape Camelback or backpack Waterproof Digital Camera (or one you dont care about) Books
15
Your Bed
You may think youre going to rock all night and all day and sleep when youre dead, but the probability of that is pretty small. Its not uncommon to hit a wall of your own sleep deprivation and zonk out for twelve hours straight. So make your sleeping zone as comfy as possible. The playa is cold, lumpy, hard, and very dusty. You can sleep on it, but I dont recommend it. Ive slept in dust, pup tents, under a truck, in the front seat of my car, in a palatial tent, in an RV and in a van. And I can without a doubt assure you that each of these would be MUCH improved with more insulation and shade, and less roughing it. Placing an insulation blanket on the ground allows your tent to float over the ground, and less heat / cold that gets into your sleeping zone, the better.
Jiffy Popped! You will get Jiffy-Popped the sun striking down in the morning, heating up the tent and rapidly making you leap out of the tent and sprawl anywhere that is NOT in your tent to escape the solar oven. To moderate that, place a shade structure over your tent with ventilation space between the two structures. Some people just go for a big structure and shade under it as well. The cover sheet for your bed is essential if youre tent camping. Dust gets everywhere; but you can indeed clear it out by dropping a cover sheet over your bed. Even if its just another sheet or you go for a full dust-mite proofing bed cover, its extremely nice to have a dust-free bed at the end of the day/night. You peel it back, climb in, and pass out. The next day just pull it over yourself again. Dust storms seem to happen most during the day and not at night, which means that if your living areas going to collect dust, its going to happen during the day when youre out and about. I wanna sleep, dammit! Did you know that most people cant sleep with noise going on? You can nap, you can doze, but frankly if the decibels are above 30 or more, you cant sleep through it. And if youre in a tent, at Burning Man, that likely means youll be able to hear EVERYTHING. People. Music. Explosions. Dancing. The errant asshole with a megaphone chanting the lyrics to Total Eclipse of the Heart. So either bring earplugs or a noise machine of some kind. I personally prefer bringing a box fan and running it to an electrical grid. If Im not on a grid, battery operated fans work great, and help keep a consistant stream of white noise I can sleep to. But be assured that youll likely get limited sleep if you camp in a party zone. Some theme camps and groups intentionally keep quiet zones so they can get rest. Hushville is one of these. Other camps have kids that come with them find a good camping spot away from Thumpa Thumpa if you really want to sleep and sleep for a good long time.
16
The Kitchen If you plan on cooking anything or doing any kind of prep work, set up your kitchen AFTER you set up your tent. Move your coolers onto scraps of 2x4 off the playa and do the same with your food bins. This will help reduce direct heat contact. You can also put a tablecloth over a table and stick your coolers under it, which helps reduce sun heat. Cleaning And Site Maintenance You knew Burning Man was a leave no trace event, right? That means your cigarette ashes, your glitter, your bits of paper anything that hits the ground must go out. The easiest way to keep your site clean is to never let any garbage or items hit the ground in the first place. Using contractor bags to store your garbage is smart the bags are the stuff job sites use to clean up things like wood scraps, nails, broken glass and ceramic, etc. Also, they hold a lot, and if you tie them up very carefully can be hauled away outside of your vehicle when you leave no trace on your way out of the playa. Nitrile gloves help in your mooping efforts, as well. Having a cardboard box for your burnables (paper plates, napkins, paper towels soaked in bacon grease) helps with cleanup, too. Dont burn baby wipes, though they are in point of fact plastic and ergo, nasty. Baby wipes are a Burner essential you can clean hands, face, body, dishes, tools, butts, armpits, and freshen up at any time. Buy a giant stack. Youll use them. If you put them in a Ziploc bag, you can even stick them in your cooler for a refreshing cleanse. Important Note For Post-Event Garbage: Gerlach has a garbage collection center that takes your garbage for a nominal fee on the way out of the playa. Its worth it to collect ALL of your garbage, and some of your camps garbage, then drop $30 on the way out to get rid of all your yucky, stinky, disgusting stuff that you didnt use. The hours are from 8 AM to 5 PM, though, so if you think you wont be getting out by the time they close, make sure to seal your stuff up tight. DO NOT PUT BABY WIPES IN THE PORTAPOTTIES. EVER.
17
Sanitation
It is a simple matter of playa life that when you gotta go, you GOTTA GO. Bringing one-ply toilet paper, hand sanitizer, baby wipes, nitrile gloves, and a big bucket of kitty litter is just making sure you arent caught with your pants down, embarrassed. Every so often a portapotty will be out of order for reasons of disgusting. Be prepared. Having your own gear that you can take into a clean portapotty that may be out of toilet paper but otherwise serviceable is the best thing you can do. As for the kitty litter Kitty litter aint just for cats, you know. If gastrointestinal distress hits and you cant make it to the portapotty, a bucket of fresh kitty litter with a sealable lid that you can throw away at the end of the event makes a really good emergency poop or puke station. And you wont have to do the cleanup of shame.
WARNING:
DO NOT PUT ANYTHING OTHER THAN ONE-PLY AND BODY FLUIDS IN THE PORTAPOTTIES. NO, SERIOUSLY. NO BABY WIPES. NO TURKEY CARCASSES. NO WATERMELONS. NO CHARMIN ULTRA DOUBLE SOFT QUILTED ANTISEPTIC ENEMA BAGS. If you gotta use a babywipe, take a gallon Ziploc baggie with you. Put the used babywipes into the Ziploc baggie and seal it shut. Pack the Ziploc baggie out with you in your disgusting garbage sack (wet banana peels, bandaids, other biohazard material, etc). Why am I so bloody retentive about the baby wipes? Baby wipes can destroy Burning Man. If the company that services Burning Man for portapotty usage cannot process the waste from all the portapotties due to the massive amount of baby wipes in the portapotties, they wont service the event. No service for the event is a health hazard, and the event shuts down, because you cannot have 52,000 people out in the desert without sanitation. Baby wipes gum up the portapotty maceration machines and completely screw it up. Nothing but one-ply and body fluids go into the portapotties, or you screw up the machines and make it impossible for the company that services the portapotties to process any more material. Meaning if they shut down because your stupid baby wipe blows out their system, you and everyone else have to go home. And it will be all your fault, you dirty poopy babywipe dumper, you.
18
First Aid Kit

The Medical Stations are not your Band-Aid HQs, so carry a supply of stuff on your own. Also, its good to have the more embarrassing meds with you so you dont have to walk over to the Med Units clutching your belly and begging for anti-diarrheal meds. Emergency Gear: Untapped credit card Spare keys Phone numbers of family Medical authorization form Camp Contact These five things are damn near vital. I hope you never have to use them. Ever, but just in case, make sure you know where number one is stashed. Make sure numbers two through five are handed to someone you know and trust in your camp.
Clothing:
Entirely subjective. People wear incredible outfits some days. I tend towards vest, shorts, shoes and kilts during the day. At night I go for suits and kilts and furry jackets. Comfortable shoes for dancing, running, walking (all-in-one) that dont lace up if possible. Dont take a nice new pair of boots youve never worn walking for ten miles. THAT IS DUMB. Do not, under any circumstances, take shoes that are not comfortably broken-in, dont fit well, or arent comfortable on your feet. Blisters will pop and get playa in them, become infected, painful to walk on, and will cause no end of suffering. Dont do it. Limping is not sexy. Egg-sized water blisters are not sexy either. Comfortable shoes you can walk for miles in without any kind of discomfort? AWESOME. CLOTHING LIST: Sandals Slip-on shoes Comfortable boots Yoga pants 16 pr socks (change twice a day) Comfortable shirts, vests Underwear you don't mind walking around in public in (boxer briefs) Utilikilt Kimono / robe, oversized by a factor of at least 2 Zip-up jumpsuits or coveralls (2) Pants, shirts Podbelt or bandolier Warm jacket for night (can double as costume) Hat and scarf for daytime I also keep one pair of shorts, underwear, socks and shirt sealed in a large Ziploc baggie in my car so when I go home, I have clean, non-stinky clothing to change into once my first shower is done. It sounds ridiculous, but being able to wear completely clean clothing even in a car filled with manky, stinky gear does you a world of good. Shoes and Socks to Match
19
It is NOT recommended to go barefoot on the playa. Playa dust is highly alkaline and if you go barefoot or wear Teva sandals all the time youre likely to develop playa foot, which is basically a chemical burn on your tootsies. To neutralize it, wash your feet in water with apple cider vinegar. Change your socks routinely; if you have cracked skin, lotion up often.
Personal Hygiene
Showers: I shower every other day on playa, but I do it with ice-cold water. It never MEANS to happen that way, it just does. Shaving this way really REALLY sucks. Ive yet to find the perfect method. Fingernails: Paint your fingernails. No, seriously. Painting your fingernails a color you like before you hit the playa is an excellent idea. You will have dirt and grunge flying every which way and the nail polish acts as a barrier against the cracking that your skin is going through. Plus, if you paint your fingernails, nobody can see how filthy your fingernails actually are. Sunblock: Every morning, put sunblock on. Or swathe yourself in sunblocking fabrics. You're at 6,000 feet. You're going to be in pain and suffering if you get a sunburn. Lobstering is not an option. Bring aloe vera and ibuprofen if you DO get sunburned...and remember, even if you do want to go get tanked early, it's best to smear it all up in the morning before you go anywhere. For women or men with long hair, investing the time and energy in braids or extensions is an excellent way to keep your hair relatively neat and easy to control. The gypsum of the playa becomes the worlds best hairstyling product, and will bond happily to your hair. Otherwise, just be aware that your hair will become a rats nest within a few hours. "Let it blow in the wind" is not a good hairdrying strategem. You will look like you put your head through a gypsum wallboard. Smelling Pretty: I use body spray and baby wipes between days to keep clean and feeling relatively fresh, though Ive also gone a full week without bathing at all. In both cases, the first shower you take will make you cringe at how bad you smell once you get home. Accept this, and decide what level of hygiene youre willing to accept. Also be willing to accept the fact that you will STINK. Its the way of things. No idea how to take a low-water shower? Try it in the shower at home. You wet yourself down, lather up with a scrubbie or a washcloth, then sluice down. Use only ONE gallon of water if you can. In either case, you have to dispose of your grey water one way or another. Theres TONS of information about graywater disposal on the playa which Im not terribly fascinated by. Go Google it! GIRL STUFF ON THE PLAYA I dont know anything at all about girl issues on the playa. This is something there is a whole host of information on, and Im fully aware that women do bleed, especially out there and on vacation. However, Im also aware Im a single male. Not my realm of expertise. I bring maxipads to the Burn because they are exceptionally absorbent and make for excellent gauze pads in the event of emergency. And by emergency, I mean The Monkey just slammed his leg into exposed rebar and is shrieking in pain as blood is dripping from his leg, theres no expensive gauze pads around, oh look, maxipads. The same make good blister padding for feet. And frankly, sometimes also because sometimes friends just need one for the purpose for which they are intended. Talk to someone without a Y chromosome. ENVIRONMENT & KEEPING YOUR STUFF FUNCTIONAL
20
Setting up on the playa means setting up in an inhospitable environment. It is flat desert with talcum powder. Using vehicles to block the wind and to stage stuff is a very good idea. Take absolutely nothing you are not willing to lose. Have a favorite stuffed animal from childhood? Leave it at home. A $10,000 computer? The same. Your $700 eiderdown survival gear parka? Bag it and send it home. I once took home a $1,500 mountaineering tent that one day blew empty into my camp. Nobody showed up to claim it, and by the end of the week it was still just sitting there. Stuff goes away without warning. Sometimes its just blown away by the time you get back. Yeah, that. Trucker tie-downs, rebar, sledgehammers, and rope. If you have ANYTHING that blows in the wind, rebar it down. I keep my Costco garage structure up as unwieldy as it is for the simple reason that its a solid metal structure and rarely blows over. Properly secured, they will remain standing in a 75MPH wind. And yep, Ive ridden out a 85MPH storm in a Costco carport before. For my Costco garage shade structure, I take six chunks of solid iron bent in loops, six trucker ratchetstyle tie downs, and secure the garage to the playa using the ratchet straps. Cross-braced like that, the only way the thing is coming down is in a tornado. It also adds some protection to my van when I park underneath it from flying debris from other, less-secured camps. I avoid parachutes on the playa for one simple reason parachutes are designed to catch wind. Using something designed to catch and hold wind as a shade structure in the middle of a windy desert sometimes makes illogical sense, but people still do it. Security Security: again, anything truly valuable, leave locked in your car. You cannot buy anything at Burning Man other than coffee and ice. You dont need more than $80 for the week, and thats even just slinging huge amounts of ice into your cooler and drinking coffee at center camp every day and every night. Every year, people surf through camps looking for items of value that are easy to walk off with. A friend in 2007 had a personal video camera she had brought, videotaping her entire experience, documenting the event with the full intent of putting together a video of it for a project. The camera meant a lot to her, and on Friday night, someone came through her camp, unzipped her tent, and walked off with the camera. Speaking of, getting a small padlock that fits between the zippers of your tent is a good thing if you have anything valuable. Or lock it in your car. Take spare keys to your vehicle and house. Dont take your mass of keys that you always take everywhere. Spend the extra $10 and get one cheap, unmarked set made, and leave your house keys at home. Digital Camera: Look, digital cameras are cheap and ubiquitous now. If you need to take a digital camera with you, take one you dont mind losing. I have a beat-up old waterproof Olympus that I love that continues to take great photographs, and can be dunked in water to clean it. Brilliant! The Little Things That Make Playa Life Nerve-Wracking Do you know where youre camping? No? Of course not. Nobody does, really. So have your ticket ready. Get prepped early. Stake it out. Be friendly. Offer to help your neighbors, and be prepared to get hugs. Also be prepared to be welcomed home. A LOT. Plan out WHAT youre going to do once you hit town. I can give you two examples: one group of people pulled in, set up, and had their entire home ready, got dressed and clothed and unpacked in two hours, then sailed off and came back happy and energetic. The next morning their co-pilot stumbled in with no water, no backpack, massive dehydration and no place to crash, no ability to get to any of it because it was all still packed in the car. Be prepped to get your unpack on, THEN go get your party on.
21
Notes on Leave No Trace Culture: Burning Man is Leave No Trace. MOOP is shorthand for Matter Out Of Place. MOOP is why I bring latex gloves, extra Ziploc baggies, and garbage sacks wherever I go. Most people spend about two hours picking stuff up out of the dust. Ive seen people literally pick out glitter from the playa, piece by shiny piece. Again, its a personal commitment that everyone is encouraged to do. Following the Leave No Trace ethic means that I dont use regular soap on the playa; I use Dr. Bronners liquid castile soap. I dont wash my hair with anything but organic conditioner (if I even have hair). Keep in mind that you will see dark spots on the playa. This is where people have urinated. The portapotties are far apart. Urination on the playa is legally acceptable, defecation is not. The Bureau of Land Management will arrest you and cite you for pooping outside of a portapotty. Stopping Points: Depending on your route, I suggest NOT pulling a straight-shot to the playa. I plan on either crashing at family houses or in hotels after an eight-hour run, then getting up early and driving to the next point. Gas usually costs around $3.50 per gallon with a $.50 fluctuation in the prices during the summer months, especially in the smaller towns en route. So if your vehicle gets 10 MPG, you will spend roughly 2.5 the amount you would in a 25 MPG vehicle. If youre coming from the north, fill up in Alturas, CA or Cedarville. Cedarville has one of the best family-run service stations Ive ever come across, but they are extremely limited in their ability to fix vehicles and/or provide service. It also depends on whos driving. Ive done straight-through runs before on my own, but I also know when to pull over and sleep for an hour. Adding time for the drive home is also important; leaving another 12 hour window is vitally important. Dont assume you can drive all the way home Monday and get to work Tuesday morning; you will likely have to pull over somewhere. And youll probably need the decompression time anyway. Carry a charged cell phone, the number of local tow truck companies, and sign making equipment that can help you say, HELP BURNERS HELP in the event you break down. DO NOT RUN OUT OF GAS Do not drive in and miraculously hope someone has enough gas that you can bum so you can get to your next destination. Buy enough gas to get yourself to where you need to be. Inevitably someone will always be heading home and realize they didnt get any gas where they should have. Running out of gas sucks. Begging your fellow Burners for gas because you didnt plan ahead sucks even more. And trying to call Triple A in the area where a cell phone tower is never to be found is the suckiest of all.
Traveling with Others

The Monkeys Law of Carpool Travel: If traveling with people, add one hour for every person in the car for starting off at the VERY least. Include hour at any meal stop per person for errands, grocery shopping, gas, etc. If you travel by yourself, that includes you. Do not, under any circumstances, allow the driver to be egged into doing something that the driver isnt comfortable with. More vehicle blowouts, rollovers, and Stupid Shit happens because the passengers are either so excited to go or so want to get home that common sense bypasses healthy, safe driving. Ive had extremely negative experiences when riding with someone who simply didnt understand that he wasnt in control.
22
Carry nothing illegal with you in the vehicle whatsoever that youre not willing to get busted for, especially if you plan on crossing the border to the US. For that matter, obey all state and local laws regarding speeding. Do not speed. I honestly dont care if you get a ticket, but all routes to Gerlach are insanely twisty and long, and the roads are nasty. Potholes that can and do flip your car are common. Deaths happen every year in the journey. Dont be one of them. Random People After eight years of carpooling and traveling with other people, I found one (just one!) person who still goes who I love to travel with. Ive carpooled with two people, four, one, and three others. Ive carpooled with couples and groups. I found that my driving experience is best when I clearly lay out the expectations of driving and comfort levels and get everyone on board. I also found that the drive down is a very good indication of how people can act both on the trip and at the event itself. If someone pisses you off thirty minutes into the trip its a good bet theyre going to drive you nuts all the way there. Make sure youve got good travel buddies, and people are aware of each others limitations and needs BEFORE you pick up random people to travel with. I need a ride! There are almost always people who plan badly and decide they need a ride home with all their gear. I virtually never take those people home with me in the car because its not my responsibility to save them from their own failure to plan. I am sure and positive that theres a group of people who will give generously and help those in need to get home; Im not someone who says, Sure, hop in, Ill totally save your butt from having to figure out how to get home. Theres almost always emergencies, but when it comes to someone standing on the side of the road with Help, need ride to SF and a backpack heading out of the event, I wish them well and keep going.
ARRIVAL
The first rule of arrival is: arrive on time. This is pretty oxymoronic, seeing as its entirely possible to lose three days without blinking at Burning Man. However, its the arrival on site that is the issue. As well as Exodus (the departure). In years past the festival has allowed people through the front gates before Monday morning at 12:01 AM. That isnt happening any more. Arrive with your ticket in hand. If you have mixed early arrivals in your vehicle and non-early arrivals, they have to wait at the front gate. Let me be EXPLICIT: Do not expect that if you show up at a certain time, youll get in. Yeah, that means if only two people are on the early arrival list and you have five in the car whose names arent on the list, everyone stays at the gate. Traffic backs up into Gerlach due to the lines to get into the event. That was (approximately) a fifteen-mile backup on a single country lane of people and vehicles. EARLY ARRIVAL Unless you are staff, or a part of a major theme camp that requires your presence to be on playa prior to setup, or have worked out previous arrangements with the Burning Man event for you to be there, you cannot show up early. Early arrivals require early arrival passes.
23
If you have to ask Can I get in early? the answer is most likely no. If you need to ask how you get an early arrival pass, the answer is You dont get one. If you want to know what they look like, theyre often giant purple stuffed dinosaurs, handed out with specific instructions, and you must perform the Capering Dance Of the Early Arrival Cool Kids in order to get one. And then you must tell the people at the Gate you are a personal friend of Larry Harvey and his DJ Sidekick Sassy Pants McBootyShaker. Really. That always works. Not to get you in, but it certainly does make for excellent stories by the gate crew, and if someone actually DOES this Id love to hear about it. The long and the short of it is that if youre showing up prior to Monday morning at 12:01 AM, you are there to WORK to prep the event for everyone else. Youre not there to set up early and have a good time, youre there to make the event work. If you get an early arrival, youre there to make things happen. If youre reading this, chances are youre not going to be one of those people. BE PREPARED. Be prepared to be stuck in the worst traffic of your life, spending nine hours in the line waiting to get in. Be prepared to have water and snacks in the car; be prepared to pee in the bushes, be prepared to be hot and cranky and just want to GET IN. Think of this as a measure of your patience. Be prepared for this to happen if youve planned beautifully and have arrived at the same time refreshed and brilliant and gloriously happy. Be prepared to run your air conditioner, to get dusty early, to spaz out with others in the line, and to be hooting madly. Be prepared for the gate guys to not know how to handle your specific request (the smooth running of a line with an easy check-in procedure is the way they like it). If youre coming in early, be prepared to have your name on the list. Double-check to make sure you can get in early and that you qualify for setup. Make SURE you are on the list more than once, and confirm that your name exists on a piece of paper somewhere. And be prepared to be patient. Youll get in. You may not get in when you want to get in, but youll get in, and itll be awesome. Also, be prepared to hand the greeters something fresh and cold. Its the desert; theyve been out here in the heat. Anything ice-cold and delicious is always welcome. One thing about Gate Culture: the Burning Man Gate crew loves to see you. They love to go through your stuff. And then they love to see you not anywhere near them for the rest of the event. When you get to the gate, you need to turn off your engine and let them poke through your stuff. This is so people who want to skip paying for the ticket cant be snuck in. The first time youre stopped, you dont need to show your ticket; the second time youre stopped, you do.
24
SETUP
If youre in a theme camp, your location is often marked out for you. If not, its first-come, first-served. This is where those flags and marking ribbon tape come in handy. If you have multiple friends coming with you, organize your camp so that you make sure people have access to your area. If you do mark out a zone, make sure youre going to use it. A good general rule is to claim ten feet by ten feet per person. So if you have five people in your camp with independent space, mark off about fifty feet by ten feet. Twenty-five? Fifty by fifty. Most larger camps (200 or more) have space designated in a 200 by 250 foot space. Who do you camp with? Anyone! You dont have to have an official camp to be on the grid. Most theme camps have addresses, though its a good idea to check on the map to find a good space for you and your camp. Stay out of designated Theme Camp areas, though; moving your camp once its been set up is a MAJOR pain. And you will have to move it. Make friends early if you see a perfect spot, check with the people camped around you, introduce yourself, and ask if they need a hand with anything once youve got your gear going. Literally, the social aspect of the event is the primary key to it. You may never see anyone again, but youre all here to have a great time. Break out your water and snacks, your Camelback, sunscreen, hats, and shaded area FIRST. Not last. Not later. Or, if youre arriving at night, make sure your warm clothes and work gear are accessible, including your headlamp. Even if youre in a rush to set up and go out and have a blast, take care of yourself. If you start to feel hot, sit down and rest in whatever shade you can. If you dont have something, ask. The standard joke, How many Burners does it take to change a lightbulb? AH SHIT! I forgot the fucking lightbulbs! is there for a reason. Someone will have a lightbulb just ask around.
Teardown and Exodus

Yep, all good things end. Pick a leave time when you want to be on the road. At any time, including immediately after the Burn, you will have up to a two hour journey out of the event on the main road. Budget for it. Exodus has been known to last for up to six hours from camp site to road. The radio stations tell you how long the wait is. Nows a good time to tear through your gear and find your clean clothes, spare babywipes, and prepare for the trek back to civilization. Any leftover canned goods, unspoiled food, cigarettes, unopened beer and liquor can be dropped off at the DPW way station on the way out of the event. What they do not use goes to food banks in the Reno and Gerlach area. Trash and MOOP: if you brought it, you take it back out. Bring garbage bags for this exact reason. There is a recycling camp that recycles cans and some plastics, but this isnt the place to do all of your garbage needs. Dont leave your trash on the side of the road, in a gas station garbage can, or at a rest area, and pick up as much of the garbage in your camp as you can. There are guides on how to pull rebar, stakes, and other embedded objects, but a pair of work gloves and a sturdy pair of pliers are the best tools. Driving Home: Youll be exhausted, tired, dirty, smelly, with dust in your hair and on your feet. Sitting down in your car, youll find playa dust everywhere, and youll likely just want to get home. Dont.
25
Know your limits, know how fast you can drive, where you know you can stay, and how long youll be headed home. No, seriously. If youre exhausted, dont drive home. If youre still drunk, DONT DRIVE HOME. Pull over and take a nap. Its better to arrive a little late than not to arrive at all.
26
Sex, drugs, and rock and roll (or, in this case, really loud electronic music)
Sex happens out there. It is not entirely uncommon for people to simply walk up to you and proposition you. Note the phrase, People. I have been propositioned by a married couple, two girls, a stiltwalker, an exceedingly obese man with a tiedyed beard, Its okay to ask. In point of fact, asking is the key. Assume nothing out in the playa. Even if you see someone kissing four other people, do not assume that its okay for you to kiss that person as well. Shoving your face in and trying to kiss them will be less well received than, Hey, may I kiss you as well? This ethos extends to pretty much every sexual interaction. If someone says No or is so impaired they cannot say No, its assumed that its a No. Keep in mind, however, that a polite query may result in a yes. Just be safe and cautious. The normal rules dont apply out here; but at the same time making sure you communicate what you want is almost even MORE important here than in the default world. The Mechanics of Sex on the Playa Ill be upfront about it sex is a blast. Its fun, its a good energy workout, and it burns calories. But youre sweaty, hot, stinky and youve been swimming in sunblock, marinating yourself in your beverage of choice, and dancing your butt off. So its likely that if you DO decide to get it on, youll be doing so in a less-than-fresh environment. Using condoms not only protects you and your partner from getting oddities in your junk, but it also makes it easier to keep things clean around your personal space. If youre intending to act like a rabbit and shag anything in sight on the playa, be prepared and make sure both you and any intended partner are on board with this plan of attack. And be aware that the desert affects people very differently. Just because people are at an event doesnt mean their hesitations or their personal preferences for the horizontal mambo stop. The Event in the Desert is not an extended Cialis commercial and erectile dysfunction is often the least of your worries when trying to get it on in the desert. I dont even mean this from a male perspective. Its okay to not want to do things. Ive done Burning Man completely celibate three times from start to finish. Ive known dear friends whose enviable sex lives come to a screeching halt simply because theyre focused on other things at the event. And Ive known people who, metaphorically and literally, run naked across the playa to lunge at the first attractive and willing opportunity. The first step is being aware about your own desires and needs. The second step is making sure you know your partners. Being aware about your environment and your partners state of mind is not only sexy, but will likely earn you major Happy Fun Time awards. Want a romantic evening? Do a mutual shower before getting frisky or getting a nice lavender oil massage. The little things truly do matter when it comes to Barry White time on the playa, and ultimately make it better for everyone involved. Communicate, communicate, communicate. And confirm. Chemical Alterations Yep, theyre out there. Theyre being consumed, drunk, snorted, sold, traded, gifted, described, ascribed, lost, found, munched, crunched, and recreationally injected. If youre going to experiment with recreational drug usage for the first time, its a bad idea to do it AT the event. Your body chemistry is different and not knowing how your body and mind will react to a recreational substance can not only endanger you, but endanger others. Know what youre taking before youre taking it, and know how it affects you personally.
27
Be CAREFUL about what you accept. Ask whats in that cookie, or that shot of vodka. Carry your own cups with you. Dont take mints from strangers. Its like youre 12 again, isnt it? But Stranger Danger has some good points here. Knowing your limits and your environment will help you stay safe. (Unless you dont care. In which case, take a lot of drugs and burn all your clothes. Itll be fun.) Also, remember that people really do take care of their own out there, but thats not a reason to overindulge on whatever youre consuming and let people do what they will with you. Most of the time do what you will involves a trip to Charcoal Biscuit Land. Be careful about how much and how often you take your recreational substance of choice. For the purposes of this conversation, Im including all legal, quasi-legal, and restricted substances sold both legitimately and illegitimately. The same rules to drinking vodka and snorting drugs apply out there doing it for the first time or doing it to excess both endangers you and endangers everyone around you. One key and crucial difference: keep in mind that the event is being held on government land, with law enforcement officers from Washcoe County, Pershing County, The Bureau of Land Management, Nevada State Patrol, and Gerlach sheriffs office. Undercover cops exist and WILL bust you if you are overt. LEOs actually there for your protection, but they do try to send people in to bust people for illegal drugs. Dont be stupid. Dont use your substances openly. Dont provide substances to other people. And dont go around trying to buy substances from other people. In the event that you are asked by someone you dont know for illegal substances, its a best practice to deny them, flat. No, sorry or I cant help you or No is the best way to describe them. Do you know anyone who can? is another question the answer, again, is No. If they had their act together in the first place, they wouldnt NEED to ask you for them. Music Ah yes. The music. If you require quiet, solitude and peace to sleep, bring 30db reduction earplugs and wear them. It goes 24/7. Art cars will drive by your camp at 3AM thumping Total Eclipse of the Heart. Sound camps run all day and all night thundering huge stacks of speakers. People is loud. Asking people to turn it down is like asking the wind not to blow. You might get lucky. You most likely will not. Earplugs and sleep masks. Harassment, illegal behavior, or infringement of your personal space Tell someone. Anyone. Your safety is paramount. Burning Man is a sexy event; NOT a sex event. If you are bothered, harassed, or someone causes problems for you, you can and SHOULD tell them to stop. Being aware of your own personal boundaries is the key to making sure nothing happens to you. Most people are aware, but there are always creeps in any society, of both genders and all ages. If people dont ask permission, they dont have it. If you want to kiss someone, ask to do so. You may feel corny as hell and they might say no, but without permission, you have nothing. If there is a major problem call the Black Rock Rangers. They are the mediators of the event, and liason with the local law enforcement. And if there is a serious violation, the perps will be removed from the event.
28
Keep your interactions polite with LEOs at all times. Remember that you have rights as a citizen that dont abrogate the minute you set foot in the dust. Also keep in mind that LEOs are a part of the Burning Man community as well. Believe it or not, theyre there to keep things safe. Thanking them for working the event goes a long way to building community trust. If you are attacked, hit, or have anything else happen to you thats a violation, TELL SOMEONE. Get help. This is not an environment where nothing else happens. Crimes do happen, but the idea of fading away doesnt. People are held accountable for their actions. Yes, people run around naked, and those who do are comfortable with it. You dont have to, if youre not. Asking permission before you take a picture of someone is simply good courtesy. The goal is to have a safe environment for everyone to play in, and if someone gives you a creepy vibe and violates that trust chances are if theyre not called on it, theyll do it again. Photography Ask before you take a picture. Remember that not everyone wants to be documented, and in an age where everything is still digitally available online, you need to make sure you have permission before you take pictures. Use common sense. In one memorable instance I removed digital cards from a tourists camera who was taking surreptitious crotch shots of women from underneath scaffolding and broke them in half. He was not pleased, but the women who were angrily telling him to stop thanked me for it. There are ways to do things, and ways NOT to do things. Make sure you have permission, and you may not find angry 65 monkeys bearing down on your camera equipment.
What to Expect At the Event

Its hot and dry, and theres lots of people. Theres consistent noise. There are many people shouting and doing loud and rude things you wont agree with. Theres art you will hate. There are people who behave like moronic chimpanzees. There are people who will likely make you want to tear your hair out. There are many in-jokes you wont understand. It also has its down sides. Lets be very clear here Burning Man is not for everyone. If you have fibromyalgia or get migraines easily from heat, have a history of heart palpitations, allergy to dust or need to have a cool place periodically to sit in the summer, get very angry or cranky when you get overheated. You need to understand that the event is held in a flat, featureless plain of compacted dust that reaches 120 degrees during the day and 40 degrees at night. It is a Leave No Trace event that places personal responsibility for both your survival and your actions on YOUR shoulders. There are no lifeguards, no hotel boys, no staff waiting to save you. It is one hundred miles to the nearest airport. It is often a four-hour wait to get into the event, and at least an hour to five hours to leave the event. You cannot leave the event and return without paying for an exit pass.
29
You are held to the same laws as you are in the default world yes, the social construct is different, but assault is still assault and if you are caught providing alcohol to a minor, youll still get a ticket. Take drugs in front of an LEO and they will bust you for it. You are responsible for your own experience. You can bring what you want, but if you expect to be catered to, youll be disappointed. These might sound off-putting. And frankly, if youre looking for a vacation where you relax and lounge by the pool to get away from it all, this might not be the place for you. If youre looking for a festival of explosive creativity and self-sufficiency, this is definitely the place for you. The point is that the event is held in a desert with zero amenities other than what you bring with you, and portapotties. If you show up with expectations be the expectation that youll get laid, meet the love of your life, find spiritual ascension, find peace, karma, resolution of the years events, new jobs, or some kind of expected vision of the people and place itself, you will likely be very disappointed. And even at the eighth year of attendance, Ive found that bringing expectations to the playa of the people who you camp with, of the event itself, of the way things work none of that helps. Assume nothing and be ready for anything, and youll do fine. Bringing Someone Who Isnt Quite Sure About All of This (Youre DEFINITELY Going, your SO is coming with you) or prepping the Ejector Seat Ive seen this happen quite often. In some cases its a significant other who is coming to be with their beloved, or its a family member convinced that the event is a miraculous thing for them. In some cases, its the people themselves. Or theres a medical issue the body cant handle the environment, personal situations become untenable, and you simply have to Get The Fuck Out. My personal recommendation is that if youre bringing someone who wouldnt go on their own, make sure you have a backup plan for them to get the hell out of Dodge if they need to. Make sure they have a flight and you have plenty of time and energy to get them to where they need to go. This isnt a bad idea in any case if emergencies show up that require you to leave in a hurry, its good to plan your rapid escape route. Its good to know how and when youd get someone in your group home in a hurry. Its essential to know and think about how YOU would pack up and go home post-haste. I mean this in a positive way. When youre a two-hour drive from the nearest major highway and the closest major airport, knowing that youre that far out means the burden of departure is that much harder. Know how and when the exit would occur, and dont let yourself fall into the but I have to stay, its so inconvenient to leave trap. If you have to go, GO. Dont stick around, itll only get worse for you and those around you. Ive always recommended that if bringing someone who is really on the fence about the event, and winds up having a completely miserable time, creating an ejector seat ride to Reno, enough money for a one-way ticket home, hotel room and cab fare makes it possible. Being stuck somewhere miserable for a week doesnt help anyone. Forcing someone to be somewhere they dont want to be is the fastest way to wreck your relationships. And frankly, the Ejector Seat model is the easiest model to implement.
30
Burning Man Aftercare For Your Stuff

You've piled everything into the back of your car and you're headed home. Once home, you wonder if it's really, really worth cleaning everything out. Oh, trust me, it is. Hopefully before you left you made your bed, had clothes set out, instant food in the fridge and a bottle of wine ready to go. Your garbage is taken care of, your mail's had a hold on it, and everything you need to do is simply to unload your stuff out of the car. I take my vehicle, once it's empty, to a car wash where they wash it inside and out, vacuum the hell out of it, and detail the bits and pieces for around $50. You can do that too, or you can do it yourself, but I usually do it because I don't want to deal with it. If you have a rental car, this is going to be something you need to do BEFORE you take it back to the rental place; they'll charge you an insane amount of money otherwise. Wipe down everything you have that you want to clean out with vinegar, NOT ammonia-based cleaner. (Remember, vinegar neutralizes the playa!) Run all your clothes through the washer with vinegar once, then with vinegar again, and finally run it through with your regular washing detergent. While you're doing this, go buy some more underwear and socks, because you'll probably have killed your socks and underwear supply by now. As for your tent, camping gear, and everything else? Well, I sometimes recommend to people that if they're really attached to it, they can have a sporting goods store professionally clean it for them. For everyone else I just tell them to stick it in a garbage bag after a quick hose-down and dry-off. You won't want to use most of your gear that's been to Burning Man for anything but Burning Man unless you really just don't care about dusty and dirty stuff. For your bike, a hose-down of it quickly followed up by a lube on all parts will help keep the parts from rusting. Your Vehicle Your vehicle needs to be cleaned, the air filters changed, the engine blown off by a compressed air. Even if you had your vehicle fully checked out and tuned up prior to heading to the playa, its important to get a full oil change and air filter cleaning done when you get home. Pay the extra cash to keep your ride running and you wont find yourself bemoaning the fact you parked it in alkaline dust a year from Exodus. If you rented a car, vacuum it out and wash it twice. Even if its your playa car you need to take care of it, otherwise the dust will age it faster than if you drove 24/7 on salt-encrusted roads.
31
Burning Man Aftercare for YOU

You're going to come down off of the event and be a little disconnected for about a week afterwards. It's rare that people move straight from that environment to the default world without some kind of radical change in their lives, and it's going to feel a little disconcerting. DO NOT, under any circumstances, do any of the following in the three weeks after the event: quit your job break up with your significant other move to Reno (or anywhere else, really) get married get divorced sell all your possessions and enter a monastery Many people get a bit of an event hangover, and it's perfectly fine; just remember that it's the hangover aspect of the party. This may also be the point when you say to yourself, "NO WAY NEVER AGAIN NOT A CHANCE IN HELL" or wind up being so giddy you begin planning next year's event. That's cool too, just remember, you've got 364 days to do that in. Aftercare for your Personal Relationships If you go to the event and decide suddenly that all the amazing people you met and the brilliance of the event rings in your eyes and ears, remember two things you, and EVERYONE ELSE was on vacation. The reality of your life back in the default world requires the same emotional commitments you had when you left. You might have met the most amazing person in the world. You may have had a breakthrough on what your life needs. Breaking up with your significant other because you dont get where I was is beyond unfair. You are coming down from a week of excitement and vacation. Even if you and your significant other went to the playa together, you still need to remember that life exists beyond Black Rock City. Be absolutely sure about your relationship choices and be careful about your reactions. If you are partnered / dating / seeing someone seriously, Im of the perspective that the phrase What happens at Burning Man stays at Burning Man is total bullshit. Anyone who is waiting for you at home deserves as much respect and consideration as when you left. If What happens in Cedar Rapids, IA stays in Cedar Rapids, IA is a part of your relationship, excellent. Have fun! But before you make any calls or considerations about your behavior choices at the event, you need to discuss what your partner or significant other(s) believe youll be held to while you attend. This includes people you attend the event with. There are countless stories about people who have wild affairs that start at the Event In the Desert and come home to get divorced or break up. Married couples who suddenly find themselves in awkward positions they didnt mean to get into, jealous girlfriends and boyfriends of any stripe. The only way around this is to be upfront with your significant other about what you want and what you want to do on the playa. If you get a hall pass from your SO, discuss that ahead of time. If you have the expectation of maintaining all commitments, make sure you talk about that as well. Im not going to be explicit and tell the readers of this guide what to or not to do for their own relationships; only that BRC lasts for a week of the year, and the other 51 weeks have their own requirements. I have watched multiple friends go to the event and immediately come home to break up with their significant other. Perhaps it was coming for a long time; perhaps not. But in either case it looked
32
and felt like the person made a relationship choice based less on what existed in the default world and more about what they just experienced. Ive also started a relationship AT Burning Man, and my hypocrisy extends to the fact that I met my wife after having quite possibly the worst event experience of my life where almost everything went wrong, and every support mechanism I thought I had let me down, save my incredibly staffmates and campmates. Therefore I recommend being intentional and rational in your decision-making process, but in some cases, irrationally throwing logic to the wind and going for it yields EXCELLENT results. For me, it resulted in the love of my life. Love ya, baby.
33
Finally, the most important thing of all:
THE EXPERIENCE
Burning Man is like nothing else on earth. It is a unique experience of utter desolation in the middle of nowhere. If you are the first person on the desert, youll be struck at how empty the place is. There is nothing there. Its a blank slate. Then, slowly, a city is built. People arrive. They are noisy. They are funny. They are beautiful and ugly and kind and vicious, but they are still those people. And those people are what makes this event happen. And there are forty-five thousand of them, from everywhere. They paint the desert in themselves for one week, and then fade away, like nothing was ever there. The only thing I can explain about the playa is that it changes you in one way or another. Some radically alter their lives as part of their experience; others treat it as a weeks vacation to have an utter blast. Some realize their lifes potential. Some show up and run screaming in the opposite direction. But they all come for one reason or another, and they all leave. Some return. Some come back year after year. Some find deep philosophical meaning. Others just have a great time and go home. Knowing that the reality you live in that one week is different from the default world is something that most people should know is both the curse and the blessing of the event. Read the Survival Guide. Check out the Ten Principles of Burning Man. Be prepared to experience something completely unique and completely American. I can safely say there is NOTHING that this event is like in the world today, as many imitators and inspiring events exist this is unique among all other events. Its also nothing you can describe until someone has seen the blue moon rising over the playa and the sounds of the evening commencing, or riding the back of a giant dragon next to a seven-story tall Venus flytrap, while a man in a jellyfish costume that stretches for fifty feet in every direction dances on top of a barnacle. You may wake up intensely, sweetly, and maniacally in love one morning, wish your lover well, and never see them again. Oh, and one more thing:
Its just a week in the desert. So have fun.

(And dont put baby wipes in the portapotties.)
34
About The Monkey Brian M. Wise (AKA The Arctic Monkey) has been attending Burning Man since 2004, with camps like Flight to Mars, Alien Monkey Love Nest, BluesDome, The G-Spot, and Arctica. He currently lives in Seattle with his wife, who cheerfully has informed him of her intent to go to Greece with her girlfriends the next time he goes to the playa.
35

The Arctic Monkey's Unofficial Guide To Burning Man

Încărcat de

Informații document

Titlu original

Drepturi de autor

Formate disponibile

Partajați acest document

Partajați sau inserați document

Opțiuni de partajare

Vi se pare util acest document?

Este necorespunzător acest conținut?

Drepturi de autor:

Formate disponibile

The Arctic Monkey's Unofficial Guide To Burning Man

Încărcat de

Drepturi de autor:

Formate disponibile

The Arctic Monkey's Completely Unofficial Burning Man Guide and Pack List

Who is the Arctic Monkey?

Special Thanks and Considerations To:

Prepping Your Ride

Packing and Repacking

First Aid Kit

Traveling with Others

Teardown and Exodus

What to Expect At the Event

Burning Man Aftercare For Your Stuff

Burning Man Aftercare for YOU

Finally, the most important thing of all:

Its just a week in the desert. So have fun.

S-ar putea să vă placă și