date of dream: 3rd or 4th grade. Abdul-Baha walked upon these shores...........

I had a dream that I was flying when I was in the 3rd grade. I saw the image of a man I knew nothing about, but who was imbedded in my subconscious. Ever since then, the memory of His image and the dream, lap against the shores of my mind like cyclic waves. In my life it has revisited me, at times with assurance, other times with disturbance, and at other times with prophetic fulfillment. There was a gray sky. In my mind I was hovering above the dismal black and white that seemed to cover everything. I was above the houses, above my elementary school. But I could see everything. I could see the utter emptiness, for there was nothing stirring and no people anywhere. The world was dark and gloomy. There was a cutting, ominous wind. My soul was a camera lens in the sky and it was viewing the end of the world. I was alone, but not conscious that I was there. I was viewing as one views a movie. Until, I began to feel something. Vibrations. At first subtle. They began to ride the wind and touch me in the sky. Soon after, they intensified into recognizable human form. Voices. maybe hundreds, thousands, all in one sound. mmmmmmmmm. They increased in volume and grew more penetrating. They seemed to, as one Bahai prayer says, transcend syllables and sounds. A sea of Bahais began to immerge on to the scene, all in a procession. They were not in a gay or festive mood, but solemn. They walked steadily yet slowly as one would up a Holy mountain to a place of pilgrimage. Their eyes appeared to be closed. Each held a small plate, containing a white candle. What was peculiar about these candles, numbering in the thousands, was that the flame of each, was not a bright yellow nor fiery red, but green: green as the emerald, green as the jade stone, green as the majestic turban worn by the Lineage of the Apostle of God and later worn by The Gate. Green as in Peace, Holiness, Tranquility. Green as the meadow that blankets the Mountain of God. My attention immersed in Green, was retrieved by the reverberating sound of this ancient chant with out words. It was as ancient as the Mongolians chanting in the mountains, as ancient as Persian chanting in its purest form. The vibrations transformed into recognizable words. Ya Bahaullabha. Ya AliuAllah.. The atmosphere from this melodious, harmonious chanting began to penetrate the core of all things and pull them apart. It seemed like mass destruction. Everything was trembling. Buildings plummeted to the ground, gaping wide holes ripped through the earth at random. And all the while the Bahais continued walking, unharmed to their place of pilgrimage. Having ascended the first and second terraces (of my elementary school), now they began to ascend the third and final steps, leading to the highest plane ( of my campus.). A stone wall which would mark the end of their journey, began to break open as though a force of the earth was pulling it apart. Wild, bursts of green light splashed out of this opening. It was beautiful, yet intense and almost blinding. I wanted to become one with it, like a moth that is so drawn to the flame, he sacrifices his life. Eventually the wall closed. But before it did, for what seemed like an eternity, every last Bahai entered through the opening in that wall, into the green light. The very moment the wall sealed itself shut, I found myself standing before it, no longer an observer from the

sky. Immediately I began searching, determinedly, desperately and frantically for an opening in the wall. I tried to pry it open with my fingers, but to no avail. I began kicking and screaming, pounding on the wall with my fists. I begged and pleaded to God, to Bahaullah, like an abandoned child, Please dont leave me alone! Why have you left me alone!? There was an indescribably profound feeling of loss and emptiness. Why had God done this to me? Was I being punished? Was I unworthy? Then, in a flash, as if someone had turned on a light switch, the gloom was gone. The dismal, gray sky was replaced with a clear blue sky and white clouds. The golden sun was shinning. Birds were singing. The destroyed buildings and lands were whole again. I was surrounded by vibrant life, children playing happily, moving with the vibrations of life continual, all things animated with the Spirit. I was still standing on the same playground that I knew every day, that was my very world at nine years old. The only difference was that just moments before, that same world was thrown into chaos and oblivion. It had crumbled to dust, rendered meaningless. The only thing that held meaning for me now, was what was on the other side of that wall. It seemed that was the key to true life. It was the entrance to the infinite, spiritual world and freedom from this finite, material world, this earthly life of limitations. All my family, the Bahais, had gone there. I walked on the playground alone, with hopelessness and deep frustration. I kicked the pavement, resenting that it was there and I was still here. I did not care for the gayeties around me. Suddenly I nearly bumped into a man in my path. My eyes followed his long, black robe, leading to his white beard, matching his white hat. He had light, olive skin. I trusted him. He reminded me of a noble, grandfather, experienced in the wisdom of life. He looked at me with a very unmoving, stern, yet compassionate face. And in five words he urged me, Quddus. You have the power to fly. As one turns away from a patron giving admonition, I turned my back on him and began to walk away. What on earth did he mean, telling me this?, I thought. I wasnt open to receiving any advice. I was closed off. My heart had been broken, and there was no rekindling. Then, in a quick impulse, I turned back towards him, only to find that he had vanished. WAIT!!!!!, I cried. Had he left me too? It seemed he might of been the only one who understood what was happening to me. I began to walk, once again, away from where the image of the old man had been, this time slowly and contemplatively. I looked down on the ground where some news papers had blown in front of me by some subtle gusts of wind. I picked up a news paper and tore it in half. I just stood there in thought, holding half a news paper in each hand. When suddenly I realized that I was no longer on the ground. The wind had carried me a few feet above it. I wondered what the secret was to this marvel. I wanted to fly. I tried flapping the two news papers I had in each hand. This did nothing. My resolve increased. My desire to fly grew unquenchable. This fueled my concentration. Then, as my thoughts became focused and tied to my wish, I found myself propelled, briskly, into the air. I became acutely aware of this phenomenon that I was now, willing to happen, like a bird wills his wings to flap. As I became more and more focused, I was brought higher and higher and higher, until I took to the heavens. I was soaring like an eagle, free to go where I pleased. In juxtaposed contrast to the dreams beginning, when I was hovering over a dark, meaningless world, I was now soaring over a world rich with beauty and meaning. I was in the infinite world of the spirit, though I was still on earth.

I soared for an untold time, over lands, valleys and seas. And saw things indescribable in their beauty, among myriads of other attributes. Of my thirst for beauty, my longing for freedom, I had filled my cup to its infinite capacity. All the answers were given. The mysteries were revealed. I was now free. I had been transformed. I was no longer bound by the earths limitations. And once I had quaffed my fill, I decided to come back down to earth. From high above I looked down at the tiny cities and toy size houses, and descended from the sky, back to the campus of Edison Elementary School, my world, where I had first seen destruction and loss, and then guidance and re-kindling. I came back down to my world, no longer with resentful, jaded eyes. No longer carrying the hurt. I saw the world differently. I saw the world through humbled eyes. Humbled by and in awe of the beauty that is possible. I saw my world, not as this huge, intimidating, incarcerating thing. Instead I saw the world as this, small, delicate, thing, like a baby. I had seen capacities in myself that were limitless and far beyond the finiteness of this world. I could bring those capacities to this world and make it better. I had spiritual purpose. Children were still in recess. I began running about the playground, searching for friends to teach about this power, accessible to us all, to fly. They were all just going about their lives, oblivious. I remember thinking, Why are they all playing kick ball and handball, when they can fly? I knew that it was beyond worth it, even if just one kid on the playground, found their power to fly. Who wouldve known, that everyones dream, flight, was just one step away?....Belief. I couldnt teach belief to anyone. Instead I had to find someone who believed, and just give him a push toward the heavens. I ran to my friend Johanna, who was playing handball, and shouted, Johanna! We have the power to fly! The only response she was able to give, to such a weighty message, was, Shut up, boy. I knew it would take work. But I was committed to my purpose. I had found a great gift that everyone and anyone was deserving of. I wanted to devote my life to sharing it with anyone and everyone who crossed my path. Note: woke up, explained dream to dad + uncle. Saw picture of man in my dream on wall. Father explained that it was Abdul-Baha.
Date: Some time between March & May, 2000.

The dream takes place on the beach, a sunny day, and children playing happily. Just in front of my beach house, which was remarkably close to the water, I lay on a mattress, basking in the sun. I called Sina on my cell phone. We were talking about how things were going, when just across the way on the beach, the most remarkable creature caught my attention. It was a bird, but not just a regular sea bird. It was very tall, with long graceful legs, a long neck and long beak. And the most peculiar quality about it was that it was black. In awe of this bird I began to describe it to Sina. I then noticed that the cycle of waves racing on to the beach and then retreating back out to sea had brought the tide all the way to my mattress so that I was surrounded on all sides by sea water. I began to describe this new found factor to Sina and the very next thing I remember is waking up immersed in the oceans depths. All I could see was dark water. At first I didnt know what had happened, and just remained hovering there, in a

dream like state, almost content. Then suddenly, I became sharply aware of the tragic reality that encompassed me on all sides. There were thousands of dead bodies drowned in the water and thousands more still alive but fighting desperately for their survival. I knew I needed to get air or I would die too, but there were thousands of people all pulling each other down in their panic to get to the surface for air. There were people pulling on every limb of my body when suddenly I became determined and broke away with sheer will. I made it to the surface and swam to shore. Upon reaching the shoreline, as I lay there exhausted and catching my breath, a voice spoke to me. The familiarity of this voice, turned my head and brought my eyes to fall immediately on that face. It was the face of a Bahai youth from Kazan; Laison. She had been a dear sister to me during my travels in Russia. And there she was standing waist high in the shallow water, hovering, calmly and she said See, Quddus, I knew youd be alright. I knew youd survive.
Note: 2-9-9 Monday 10:38pm Her face was devoid of any judgment or condemnation. It was pure bliss, comfort, assurance, awareness. She accepted me, truly, unconditionally. An extraordinary feeling I can still feel it now as I remember. I was unencumbered by guilt, for that moment. The sheer victory or accomplishment of ripping and prying away the clutches of death from my body was enough to separate my pure, authentic self from all the pain, judgment and guilt that weighed my conscience down so heavily during the course of my life on this small planet. None of it bared any weight at that moment. Part of me wonders if I should have Laison as my partner in life. The other part of me knows that she was only an embodiment in my dream of something deeper within myself: something eternal. Perhaps the attainment of this thing, is rooted in my intent to, not only survive the days of my life on this planet, but to rise above mere survival through clear warfare to a place of INNERPEACE on the shore of that SNOW WHITE SPOT.