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THE JESUS JOKE : Part 1 by Seamus Breathnach

THE JESUS JOKE

OR,

FAREWELL TO THE
MEDITERRANEAN MYTH

It happened a long time ago. America hadn’t been invented. Neither had
Islam, Jesus, the Papacy or any of the nation states we have come to
recognise. But in the mediterranean there was a bit of stir by a chap
calling himself Julius Caesar. Caesar by all accounts was a canny Roman.
He was born about 100 years before one even heard about Jesus Christ
or Christians. Some say he was born by way of Caesarean operation, to
Aurelia and a praetor suitably called Gaius Julius Caesar. His family were
of patrician stock, and his aunt Julia was the wife of Gaius Marius, the
boss-man of the Popular faction.

As we all know, Caesar was his own man -- or as much of one as was
permissible at that time. He scaled the heights and was more intelligent
and less brutal than his rivals, Sulla and Pompey and Pompey’s sons. In
45 BCE, when he returned to Rome, he celebrated his triumphs over
Gnaeus Pompey. The Romans would have preferred if he celebrated his
conquests over less home-spun enemies: but in the end Romans were
less squeamish over the shedding of blood (whomsoever' blood it
happened to be) more than most.

On February 15 44 BCE, even as he was named perpetual dictator, at the

feast of Lupercalia, Caesar donned himself in purple and paraded himself
in public, not unlike what a modern Pope , as Pontifex Maximus (highest
priest), might do in the Vatican. The difference was that Caesar was
preparing to lead a military campaign against the Parthians, the same
who had killed Crassus, and taken his legionary eagles from him. But
when Caesar came to attend the Senate, no less than sixty conspirators,
who came to the same assembly, each one with a dagger stuck up his
toga. At least 23 of them found their way into Caesar’s flesh at the
proverbial base of Pompey's statue. One can only imagine what
happened after the assassination.

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The Senators fled in all directions. It was left to three slaves to pick up
the dead Caesar and carry him home to his wife, Calpurnia. There was a
lull before the storm, and a bit like the Anglo-Americans in modern day
Iraq and Afghanistan, it soon became apparent that the conspirators had
no plan beyond the initial assault. Part of their oversight included Mark
Antony: they forgot to execute him with Caesar.

Moreover, Mark Antony had a legion under his command, as well as

Caesar’s Last Will and Testament, the senators had to fall back on the
good offices of some gladiators and their inimitable oratory. And as Mark
Antony heads for Egypt, to Cleopatra and to Caesarea, Caesar’s son by
Cleopatra, the world of the Roman Empire opens up into two irreparable
halves.

But it is here, at Pompey’s statute, at the death-place of Caesar, where

the Jesus-Joke is first conceived. After Caesar's assassination, a bloody
civil war ensues throughout the Roman Empire. The long-term
competing ambitions of Octavian (in the West) and Mark Anthony
supporting Caesar’s son by Cleopatra (in the East) erupted into open
antagonism. The Empire was at stake and both parties coveted the moral
and religious mantle left behind by the deified Caesar, about whose life
and death there had arisen a cult known as Divus Iulius. The Pagan
Empire in schism became localised oppositionally with Octavian in Rome
and Anthony in Alexandria -- an arrangement which created the
structures upon which Christianity later built its own schism as between
Roman Catholicism and Eastern Orthodoxy.

More importantly, when Octavian got the upper hand of Anthony and
Cleopatra, he consolidated his control over the Eastern Empire and
thought to secure it by persecuting the cult of Divus Iulius in all its forms
and aspects, especially where they stood as mementoes of Anthony and
Cleopatra and derivatively to the realm of Julius Caesar, whose long
shadow had by no means left the psyche of either Rome or the
mediterranean. Perhaps this imperial hatred explains to some extent the
persecution of the early christians as well as the inveterate hatred of the
Church triumphant against ‘heretics’. ‘Heretics’, of course, with the
Church’s expansion in the world, mutate into ‘pagans’, ‘witches’ ,
‘women’, ‘Donatists’, ‘Cathars’, ‘Albigensians’, ‘Jews’, ‘Protestants’ ,
‘Reformers’, ‘Fratecelli’, ‘Socialists’, ‘Atheists’, ‘Universal Communists’,
‘Vietnamese’, ‘Universal Secularists’, ‘Homosexuals’ and , more recently,
those who fight back -- ‘Terrorists!’

As one might expect, the cult of Divus Iulius changed over time and
localization, but along the shores of Galilee, however, it left an indelible
impression. When we fast forward slightly to Vespasian and his sons,
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Titus and Domitian, we find that they maintained the Flavian Dynasty
from 69 - 96 CE, which period parallels both the rise of the Christian
movement and the tenure of Flavian Josephus as court historian.

Since the Vespasians had little or no claim by way of blood to the Iulian
family, their first aristocratic concern was their need to legitimate their
claim to the throne left vacant by the defied Caesar and more recently
by Nero. As it happened, Vespasian the Elder left young Titus to
prosecute the war against the Jews in Judea. It was a long, brutal, cruel
and devastating war, culminating in Massada and the eventual
destruction of the Jews in a way that is not identifiable throughout the
destruction of the pagan Gaels. Out of their Generals the captive
Josephus impresses himself upon the Vespasians and becomes friends
with Titus. And in due course when Titus becomes Emperor, Josephus
becomes the empire’s scribe. And it is at this time -- in 3the 70s, 80s
and 90s -- that the Bibles are written: a time which seems to have a
particular interest for the latest biblical scholars.

Some say the Bibles are merely a weapon in the war between the
factions spawned by Caesar’s death, others that they are a disguised
record of Caesar as Pontifex Maximus, and others still -- but in the same
vein -- that they (or part of them) are a record of the military exploits of
Titus Flavius Vespasian. In this, the Gospels are also a fictional version of
the character ‘Jesus’, which is presented to the warlike and messianic
Jews, in an attempt to mollify their desires for a Messiah. The Messiah
the Jews want, of course, is an avenging angel of death, who would
repay Massada and the other indignities of the Roman conquest. What
the Bibles offer -- a la Joesphus and Titus -- is a whining turn-the-other-
cheek Messiah: one that can present no real threat to the future of the
Roman Empire (or, by curious derivation, to the fascists of WW11 --
Franco, Mussolini, Hitler, Ante Pavelic , Pinochet, etc, etc.)

As such, then, the JC of the Christian Bibles amounts to a sustained

satire upon the divinity of Julius Caesar and an acclamation of the
divinity of Titus. Even more: the Bibles sustain an invented God, a
Christian Jesus, who is meant to appease the residual longings in the
defeated Jews for a Messiah. In fact as well as in history, however, the
only people that Jesus, the Roman marionette, fools is the splinter
group-- those who now call themselves Christians, those who have
hitherto never mentioned their
leader/founder by name.

The Bibles are meant to announce to a defeated, militant, messianic

Judea, the epiphany of their long awaited Messiah, his life and immortal
death, as well as his most important renunciation of violence. In this
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way, had the Jews accepted the marionette, they would have all become
Christians, laid down their arms, surrendered to the connived change in
their identity, and accepted the wonderful embrace of the Roman
Empire.

Perhaps, it might be pointed out that when we are discussing the Roman
Empire, the role of Julius Caesar ( or his alter ego, ‘Jesus Christ’) , the
Godhead or the origins of Christianity and the role of the Papacy (God’s
vicar on earth), we are essentially talking about ‘corporate time’.
Corporate time is a concept which attracts very ordinary people --
laymen -- to become extraordinary men -- priests, bishops , cardinals
and Popes: and , unlike the secular empires, like Tiberius or Caesar, they
do not have to go to war. But, of course , all the bishops and popes did
go to war (witness the crusades), until they found a way to get others --
the secular world of the gladiators and the emperors -- to go to war on
their behalf. In this context, thinking the Godhead is shorthand for
thinking ‘corporate time’, ‘corporate management’, ‘forward planning’
and ‘eternal as well as universal control’. Long before Apple, Dell, or
Coca Cola there was Caesar, the Roman Empire, and then, the Papacy
and the Christian Universal Conquest. And it is in this vein corporate and
world-wide sense that we should think , when we think of Jesus and /or
Carotta’s profound discovery. In a way, we are trying to re-think our very
selves and who we really are as opposed to who we were told we were!

Talk about Greeks bearing gifts!

Unlike the Gaels, the hardcore Jews never faltered: they never gave up
their Messiah or their own identity. But another crowd, a faction calling
themselves Christians, saw a wonderful opportunity and turned
Josephus’ parody into a world religion that would make them all the
richest wasters in the world. For two millennia, practically, they would
fight with Emperors, forge documents, bully kings, muscle into the
palaces of the nation states, preach crusades about whom to love and
whom to execute; they would scatter their frivolous banter like the
possessors of a great truth right across the world, at first on the back of
other nations, dividing and amalgamating themselves into groups
everywhere supportive of a world vision. Truth everywhere gave way to
Faith , and faith was the very thing that the Romans wanted to control!

So, What Is It You Always Wanted To Know about JC But Were Never
Told?

Some nineteenth century authorities -- and much further back -- had

always suspected that there was something wrong with the New
Testament, that, in fact, they had been compiled by Romans. Gradually,
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others became bold enough to declare that they had been compiled by
the PISO Family.

The True Authorship of the New Testament

<http://www.fargonasphere.com/piso/>

A Short Synopsis of Piso History

<http://www.fargonasphere.com/piso/synopsis.html>

The Roman Piso Homepage

<http://www.angelfire.com/biz5/piso/>

No less serious are a couple of other works , which have an enormous

bearing on the matter at hand, but which are apt to empty all the
churches in Christendom when they are read, With these works, one is
not so much talking about authorship of the New Testament or about
forgeries or anomalies or injustices or incompatible ethical positions
within the ‘Christian tradition’ or within the Catholic Church -- we are
talking about the validity of Christianity itself, its status as a religion, as
a cult, and all its world-wide ramifications as well as its ubiquitous
influence over national and
international life.

One of these books is by Francesco Carotta and is entitled Was Jesus

Caesar? And a second more recent book by Joseph Atwill is entitled
Casear’s Messiah . If you ever felt that the Jews knew more than
anybody else about their boy, Jesus, then both these books can only
reinforce your suspicions. While the subtitle to Atwill’s work is aptly
called ‘The Roman Conspiracy to Invent Jesus’, it informs us plainly what
the book is about. But one should not be misled by its apparent comic
simplicity.

For Francesco Carotta

<http://www.carotta.de/>

Francesco Carotta is an Italian linguist and philosopher. After ten years

of study he brought his findings together in ‘Was Jesus Caesar?’ (1999).
Though not always seens as a continuation of the skeptical findings of
the Germans in the nineteenth century respecting the implausibility of
the New Testament, what Carotta has done is to add a sociology to the
whole JudeoRoman period and thereby clarify some resplendent aspects
of our knowledge of it.

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 ***

According to Carotta JC stands for Julius Caesar -- not Jesus Christ.

There is no Jesus Christ and there never was one. He is purely the
figment of the Rome’s imagination as depicted by the Piso Family and
confirmed by Flavian Josephus, a captured Jewish General, who turned
‘Queen’s evidence’ on his own people, the Jews.

According to Carotta Jesus looks like Caesar, their lives are congruent,
their families are the same, their respective kinfolk are peopled with
parallel personages whose names and locations are the same or similar
to each other, Caesar’s hard won victories become Jesus’ miracles.
Caesar’s Pompey is Jesus’ John (the Baptist), Caesar’s Antonius is Jesus’
Simon etc.. Caesar’s Senate is Jesus’ Sanhedrim, Caesar’s Gaul is Jesus’
Galilee, Caesar’s Rubicon is Jesus’ Jordan, Caesar’s Rome is Jesus’
Jerusalem, etc..

And if Julius had his moll in Cleopatra, Jesus had his moll in Mary
Magdalen

Names resemble each other in writing as well as phonetically, ‘Gallia’

isn’t that different from ‘Galilaia’, ‘Nicomedes of Bithynia’ isn’t that
different from
‘Nicodemus of Bethania’, and ‘Brutus’ the murderer is not that different
to ‘Barabbas’ the murderer, etc.

Moreover, Caesar’s quotations are lifted by Jesus: He who does not take
sides is on my side becomes For he that is not against us is for us. Or,
again: I am not King, I am Caesar becomes We have no king but Caesar.

Even in death the two JCs are the same. Caesar’s death on the Ides of
March , two perishing days before St Patrick’s day, becomes for Jesus the
15th day of Nizam, which in turn confirms the Easter Vigil.

Reading Carotta one has to pinch oneself every so often to reassure

oneself that one is not reading an extract from James Joyce’s Ulysses...
If one had not already become familiar with the literary techniques
employed by Joyce, one might imagine that one was revisiting the same
or a similar work of art.

We are used to the Joycean device of identifying some scavenging

Seagulls over the Liffey as a reference, also, to Homer’s Harpies. In
much the same way Francesco Carotta’s indescribable expose has
unearthed a vast array of parallel references, especially between those
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few momentous years in Rome’s civil war from the time when Caesar
crosses the Rubicon (49 BC) to his assassination (44 BC), a period that
is meant to mirror the Jesus narrative from the Jordan to his crucifixion.
In this sense the Gospel is a re-written history of the Roman Civil War.

“What emerges from the comparison”, says Carotta, “ is the fact that no
matter what the comparison the same structures and sequences are
found and differences are reduced to the simple mix up of letters. What
really changes is the perception.”

How apt of Joyce, then , considering that his own country had never
conquered by real Romans , to write :

Oh Ireland my first and only love

Where Christ and Caesar are hand in glove.

The ‘Caesar’ Joyce is referring to is the substitute Papal succession --

which, with the aid of the Normans and Anglici Catholics, after much
bloodshed and the burning of Druids, Gaelic Chieftains and pagan
folklore, turned Ireland into a perfect imperialist instrument of the
Mediterranean Myth.

And whatever versimilitude the Myth of Christianity imparted to the

longest litany of wars, conquests and cultural repressions, from the
paradigm of Ireland, the least Roman land in Europe in antiquity to the
Christian war-effort in East Timor, its magic has suddenly disappeared.
Nothing could be clearer: the whole unmistakable upshot of Carotta’s
work is that

THE CULT SURROUNDING JESUS IS AND ALWAYS WAS

THE ACTUAL CULT OF DIVUS JULIUS

It now appears that the God, who made the world -- remember the God
of births and deaths (born immaculately and died on a cross to redeem
the lot of us, whether we wanted it so or not) -- well, this God was none
other than Julius Caeasar. Now Julius may have been a great warrior --
he is reputed to have butchered at least a million Frenchmen (Gauls)
with catapults and other superior ‘weapons of mass destruction.’ And this
is why the Romans loved and defied him: he kept them safe to play their
gladitorial games. But killing Frenchmen is a far cry from being the
author of the universe.

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Although the Romans were inclined to make Gods of their heroes, not
unlike our own propensity to cosset soccer stars, they were, at the same
time, clever enough to assure themselves that they were ‘murderable’
Gods. In other words, the Godhead was OK as a concept made by them;
they could call a dead man ‘immortal’, even after their senate skewered
him to death (Mediteranean History) . But with the newfangled Jesus,
things were violently altered. The God of christianity (the Mediteranean
Myth) may not have protected the homeland, but he was made author
of the universe. In other words, while men made Divus Julius, Jesus
made all men.

How Christianity, red in tooth and in claw -- and from such modest Julian
beginnings -- managed to persuade the world that there was only One
God with one Infallible Vicar and One World Order, is simply beyond the
grasp of most rational men. What they are now calling ‘the historical
Jesus’ is apt to be echoed in the same vein as ‘the historical Harry
Potter’, ‘the historical Humpty Dumpty.’

According to Fancesco Carotta, the world has been deceived entirely.

Like the Bankers (and their governments) -- the authors of the present
world economic crisis -- the rogues in the Vatican and the other less
culpable Christian churches who have unconscionably peddled their
myths, lies and half-truths upon an unsuspecting public -- what do they
call the public, ‘our flock’ -- they all still live in their respective glass
houses. Consider it. In all those acres of Vaticanal concrete, amongst all
those legion of Cardinals, bishops and priests and nuns, there is not one
child to be washed on any Saturday night. The Vatican does not do
‘nappy changes’ or sex. The point is that alll these cardinals of
Christianity have not only abjured and , in most cases, betrays their own
native or national culture, but have abjured more than half the world of
women , and in abjuring their children, deny the entire natural world
order. Why? To fasten themselves to the most narcissistic construct of
power the world has ever known.

But we shall come to this anon. For the moment we have to realise what
Francesco Carotta has discovered.

If Jesus and the three divine persons never existed, then they never
made the world. If Jesus was really Julius Caesar in a literary disguise,
then we know he never made the world and little else besides. So, where
does that leave the Vicar of Julius Caesar?

More importantly, where does that leave all those uninformed Catholics
who support the Infallible One in Rome and the other millions of
Orthodox Christians, not to mention the unaccountable others ,
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monasteries, convents, dioceses, parishes, priests and lay people,
individuals, families, groups, nations across the world who have taken
the Divus Julius to their heart?

As one can appreciate, Carotta’s work is truly momentous! But what

questions must it give rise to in the Christian breast? Can Christians still
believe in Jesus? Do they still believe in those miracles: the resurrection
(of Caesar), the immaculate conception, the Last Supper, the changing of
water into wine, the walking on water? Surely not! And what of their
lying and missleading history? And what of those Papal Crusades? The
Pacelli-Hitler-Mussolini Triumvirate, and after the Atomic Bomb, the
JP11-Thatcher-Reagan Triumvirate against Vietnam, Russia and South
America and all those hateful communists, who predicted the banking
crisis long before it happened? And what about the Benedict XVI-Blair-
Bush Triumvirate and all that hate and violence released against the old-
new enemies, only now called ‘Terrorists’ , ‘Secularists’ ‘Homosexuals’,
etc. ? And what about the entire two millennia practically of spreading
the Gospel of the cross/sword according to their own rash,
unquestioning and unquestionable desires?

And what of all the wealth they have stored up for themselves in all the
lands under the guise of helping the poor? Everywhere they have
ensconced themselves, their infinite armies of nuns, priest and second-
order secular spies, plants and agents provocateur occupies all
countries?

What of their present obdurate position and those insulting statements

of the Papacy concerning the nature of Jesus, the disposition of other
religions, Christian and non-Christian alike? What of these imperial
‘moral’ statements of the Papacy, his Infallibility, his concordats, his half-
heartedness about war and his cultural ignorance of other peoples?
Moreover, what now with all those world-wide investments in the future
of Christianity, in the colonizing educational establishments across the
world? The Jesuits alone boast of some 4,000 educational institutions
(and JC alone knows what other pokers they have in the world’s fire!) --
all premised on spreading the faith (in Julius Caesar). Should all these
institutions not pack their bags and simply get out of education at all
levels -- never, hopefully, to return? And what about all those Christian
appointments in political establishments with less rabid convictions than
the Poles, the Irish, the Spanish, the Austrians, the Philippines, East
Timorese, the Americans, North and South, Australians, Asians, etc.?

And what about all those diplomatic, senatorial and judicial appointments
everywhere in the world? Should they not in honesty resign from their
ill-gotten posts? Should they not renounce their secret societies, like the
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Opus Dei, the Illuminati, etc.. Should they not be pointed out in the
streets as the purveyors of lies and deceits and the inheritors of false
witness?

The Christian joke was not laid by Caesar or, indeed, the Roman people;
it was laid by a clique who gathered in Rome, who sidled up to the
secular side of the Roman Empire, and who have, through successive
centuries, promoted themselves as ‘the alternative civil service’. In every
Catholic-run state , the Pope’s legions have taken the advice of
Machiaevelli and ensconsed themselves as the advisers to all the
Western powers. From their ‘universities’ and advisory positions, they
advise , for good or ill, but always in their own Roman interests,
govermnents as disparate as the US and East Timore. The Church claims
universal privilege and seeks a special place in all constitutions -- and
yet they never once put themselves before the people and have never
received one secular vote.

When one imagines the absolute power of the Church’s tentacles around
the world, one begins to see the absolute enormity of their power. While
men and arms and would-be secular politicians rant and rave about
democracy, this church, which holds elections in contempt, constitutes
the unflinching civil service to the world’s independent states. Is this the
Jesus Joke? That the world was caught and bound by christianity, on
the virtual comic history of a nonentity? Were all the religious wars for
nothing but the contents of a comic book, promoted so expertly by the
celibate Romans?

The origins of the Papacy conceal the real Joke which Christians have
used to enslave more noble and freer peoples than themselves. The Joke
has no end… it grows in universal dimensions daily...

Isn’t it time for the honest atheist who took the Christian whip for so
long, especially the Catholic whip, to come into the light and point out
their accusers?

To comprehend the enormity of the recent discoveries, one might very

profitably break down any relevant enquiry into at least three further
parts:

1. The enormity of the RCC in the world today -- Part 11

2. The centrality of Carotta’s discovery -- Part 111, and
3. The consequences of dismantling the Christian Empire -- Part IV.

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IN THE MEANTIME ONE MIGHT WELL ASK ONESELF THE FOLLOWING
QUESTIONS:

DID THE PAPACY ALWAYS KNOW THAT JESUS CHRIST, THE SON OF
GOD, WAS IN FACT JULIUS CAESAR, DIVUS JULIUS, SON OF VENUS
AND FOUNDER OF THE
ROMAN EMPIRE ?

DID THE PAPACY, FULLY KNOWING THE CHURCH’S ORIGINS,

CONSCIOUSLY DECIDE TO CONVERT THAT CULT- MEMORY INTO THE
ONE TRUE HOLY ROMAN CATHOLIC AND APOSTOLIC CHURCH?

Seamus Breathnach
www.irish-criminology.com

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