Dei Chochmah LNafshechah

Parshas Shoftim

Shalosh Seudos1 of Parshas Shoftim 5766 "..."

You must give him the first of your shearing2
The Repentance of the Letter Alef With the advent of the holy days of Elul, a Jew tends to think, Who will guarantee that this time I will return to Hashem? Days and months have passed and I have tried so hard to repent. Despite this, I am still very far from truly changing for the better Although one is obligated to find workable strategies to return to his Creator by rectifying his actions every day, each person nevertheless feels that he cannot possibly overcome his evil inclinationwhich re-gathers force against him every day. How can anyone really stand up to such a challenge? By what stratagem can one finally rid himself of his yetzer hara? Rebbe Nachman teaches that the first step through the gates of the repentance of Elul is to accept the embarrassment and shame that every Jew experiences in silence.3 For the main goal of of tesuvah is to reach the level of Kesser as symbolized by the letter alef. This is the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet and represents the towering level of Atikah Sesimaah. [Literally, this is the Ancient Hidden One and refers to the level of Chochmah within Atik / Kesserthe higher level of Kesser.] In terms of ones personal spiritual work, this signifies a deep inner repentance that brings to true and lasting change.
1 2

The lesson was delivered at the third meal of Shabbos. Devarim 18:4 3 Likutei Moharan I:6 3

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There are two elements of teshuvah associated with the letter alef. The first is that one must feel ashamed and embarrassed that he does not yet serve Hashem as is proper and fitting. Failure to successfully navigate spiritual tests is the ultimate humiliation and should cause one intense pain. We petition Hashem during our morning prayers that He not bring us to the hands of a test or a shamingwhich indicates that if one doesnt stand strong in a spiritual trial, one suffers severe embarrassment. Feeling the pain of this embarrassment yet bearing it with dignity and patience, with the understanding that such feelings of pain and frustration are from heaven to expose ones limitations and bring him to humility, is the primary step toward true teshuvah. The First of the Shearing The Arizal writes that the verse, "" You must give him [the kohen] the first of your shearing...indicates that the mitzvah of reishis hageiz includes all of the mitzvos of the Torah. The proof of this is that the first and last letters of the words for this mitzvah " " equal 613 and they allude to the 613 positive and negative commandments of the Torah. [ 1 + 216 = 7 + 5 + 004 + 002 = + + + for the kollel, or for the word as a whole = 613]4 To understand the deeper meaning of this, we must see that in order to fulfill the 613 positive and negative commandments which are an aspect of the six lower sefiros: Chessed / Kindness, Gevurah / Might, Tiferes / Splendor, Netzach / Victory, Hod / Glory, and Yesod / Foundation. [They are also called the six directionsthe six limits of three-dimensional space: north, south, east, and west, up, and down.] These six are an aspect of the world of Asiyah / Action [when compared to] the three Mochin [sefiros of the mentalities] of Kesser, Chochmah, and Binah. These upper three are an aspect of yichud or union with Hashem. [This signifies kavanah, spiritualized focus, which is the fruit of the mind. Kavanah in this sensse means deep contemplation and connection with the soul of every act, as opposed to the body of the six lower sefiros which are in the realm of action and can exist exclusive of kavanah.]
4

Shaar Hapesukim, Shoftim 18:4 4

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The Arizal writes that in Elul the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy are aroused.5 There are three aspects within Arich [the lower aspect of Kesser] from which a separate Thirteen Attributes of Mercy emanates: Chivartei [the white area of the scalp that can be seen between the individual hairs] which is associated with Kesser of Arich; Nimin [the hairs] which is associated with Chochmah of Arich; and Diknah [the beard], which is associated with Binah of Arich.6 It also emerges form the Arizals teaching that Reishis Hageiz, the first of the shearing which consists of hairs, represents Chochmah.7 The reishis, the beginning of teshuvah, is accomplished through reishis hageiz: the source of Chochmah. In terms of our Divine service, this teaches us a very important lesson: Although deep introspection is bound to fill us with shame at the limited nature of our attainments and our vast limitations and character flaws, we must nevertheless use this shame to completely nullify ourselves to Hashem. We should grasp that Hashem is really leading us and will guide us on our path to teshuvah. A person who capitalizes on his embarrassment in this way shines with the light of Binahand this sefirah is represented by the numerical value of the Divine Name when written out in the " form: [ ]" = 36 = 51 + 31 + 51 + 02 = + + + The root of the word SaG means retreat and implies shaming, as we find in the verse: "" They shall be turned back, greatly ashamed...8 The first thing one must do when he falls into the quagmire of sin is to use the light of Chochmah, symbolized by the Nimin or hairs of Arich, to extricate himself and climb back to his original level prior to the sin. The light of the SaG form of the Divine Name shines forth from the Nimin or hairs which are the source of Chochmah. [Although we said earlier that the SaG form of the Name is associated with Binah, attaining this higher level of the hairs is very much contingent on exercising

5 6

See Shaar Hakavanos, Drushei Rosh Hashanah, Introduction See Eitz Chaim, Shaar Arich Anpin 7 See Likutei Torah, Shoftim 8 Yeshayah 42:17 5

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discernment and undergoing an experience of limitation. This is itself symbolized by the hairs, which represent constriction and limitation.] Chochmah parallels the Chayah aspect of every soul. [Each soul consists of the three inner levels and two levels that are too high to remain anchored in the body. The three lower levels of Nefesh, Ruach, and Neshamah correspond to the levels of Malchus, the six sefiros of Zeir Anpin, and Binah, respectively. The final two aspects of Makifin or surrounding levels are Chayah which corresponds to Chochmah, and Yechidah which corresponds to Kesser. The nature of Chayah, the level discussed here, is expressed in the verse: "" And the chayos run and return...9 This level of connection runs inside ones consciousness and returns back out through the vessels of the Nimin, the hairs.10

He Established the Earth with Wisdom... The level of Chayah consists of an Ohr Makif (a surrounding light) and an Ohr Chozer (a returning lightan allusion to the power of teshuvah). When one confronts his meager avodah honestly [through Binah, discerning, his spiritual flaws], he feels shamed. He can use this absolute feeling of humility to completely nullify himself before Hashem. The feeling of absolute smallness is represented by the chirik, the smallest vowel which sits below the letter-line and is just a point. It is an aspect of Malchus / Kingship, the lowest and least of the sefiros. By going through this process, one experiences the inner meaning of the verse: "" He established the earth [Malchus, the earthiest of the sefiros11] in wisdom [Chochmah].12 [The sefirah of Malchus is established by Chochmah; properly connecting to Malchus enables one to access the heights of Chochmah.]

Yechezkel 1:14 See Chasdei Dovid, #2. 11 Zohar III:248a 12 Mishlei 3:19
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Malchus is represented by the lower yud of the Aleph [also just a point] through which one ascends to the aspect of Mochin, the world of thought. One who reaches this world truly grasps at all times that there is a Creator. When one wishes to change his ways and realizes that this is truly beyond him he can access the deep level of understanding that ein od milvado, there really is nothing but Hashem, since he has finally grasped his own powerlessness. In this way, he combats the aspect of Amalek that exists within every one of us and works to instill doubt in Hashem. One who realizes that his every achievement is from Hashem neutralizes this impure force. This is the meaning of the three great tasks that Rebbe Nachman explains relates to the alef. The Talmud outlines the three tasks entrusted to Moshiach: to subdue Amalek; to declare a King; and to build a Beis Hamikdash.13 When one wishes to enter into the world of true faith, he must first overcome the inner force of Amalek that tells him that he can do it all on his own without Hashem. When one finally overcomes this barrier and rids himself of doubts, he is an aspect of the lower yud of the alef. This is the mission of fighting Amalek with which Moshe charged Yehoshua.

The Power of Powerlessness This is the main element of the teshuvah of Elul. One must discard his image of himself as one who can really change on his own. This can be achieved through properly channeling ones embarrassment and shame at his limitations and small spiritual stature. One who directs this pain properly draws down the light of the SaG form of the Divine Name which is sourced in the aspect of the Nimin, the hairs of Arich, and is the root of the aspect of Chochmah alluded to in the mitzvah of reishis hageiz, the first of the shearing. The sheep itself is the paradigm of humble

13

Sanhedrin 20b 7

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submissionLike a sheep before her shearers, she is silent and doesnt open her mouth...14 The Arizal teaches that each hair, saar in Hebrew [ ,]is actually a portal, a shaar, to closeness to Hashem.15 [In Hebrew the letter shin which makes an shsound and sin which makes an s sound are identical except for the reversed position of the point above the letter.] By properly channeling the ache of ones shortcomings, one comes to realize that he is like an infant who can do nothing without Hashem. In this state, he doesnt feel any difference whether he advances quickly or slowly since he accesses the towering level of true inner completion: the alef [of teshuvah, true connection with Hashem, the Alufo Shel Olam] in an aspect of Atikah Sesimaah. He has internalized that only through truly turning to Hashem can he be rectified. This is expressed by the quintessential statement of repentance through powerlessness: "'" I called to You, Hashem, from the depths...16 When we know that every hope for spiritual completion depends on turning wholeheartedly toward Hashem, we will do so at every moment that we possibly can. In Likutei Moharan I:6, Rebbe Nachman of Breslov goes on to explain that the word Kesser also means to wait, as we find in the verse: "" Wait for me a bit...17 This is meant to teach us that a person must have a great deal of patience when he wants to change, and he must throw himself entirely on Hashems orchestration of his life in trust that He will lead him on the path he needs to go. When a person lacks this kind of patience, it is a sure sign that he feels that he has the power to accomplish change on his own. However, when he nullifies himself completely to Hashem and turns only to Him, he is gifted with the power of patience with his own process. Then these lofty levels of the higher mental sefiros influence him to change his waysthe living

14 15

Yeshaya 53:7 Pri Eitz Chaim, Krias Sefer Torah, 5; See Machberes Hakodesh in the beginning of Shaar Yetzias Mitzrayim. 16 Tehillim 130:1 17 Iyov 36:2 8

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out of the Arizals teaching that the hairs of Chochmah descend and illuminate the lower sefiros, which are the vessels of action.

The Expertise of Teshuvah This, then, is the first element of teshuvah: to be an expert is recovering oneself from a low state [this is the returning as opposed to the running of the chayos]. This element is associated with Malchus [the least and lowermost], the world of the Throne of Hashems Glory [because it is the foundation on which higher things rest], and the lowermost yud that comprises the alef. As Rebbe Nachman explains, this is the silence in the face of embarrassment, it is the quiet and humble acceptance of ones shortcomings and powerlessness, which brings a person ultimately to wisdom. The sages taught: Silence is a fence [syag = Sag] for wisdom.18 The light of Chochmah descends through the vessels of the hairs through the power of the Name in the form of SaGwhich is the essence of discerning ones own powerlessness. Chochmah is the foundation of the earth / Malchus.19 The second element of teshuvah is entering into the mentalities of Zeir Anpin, which are associated with the upper yud of the alef. This element parallels the task of building the Beis Hamikdash [just as the first element parallels the destruction of Amalek].20 This second part of the process is associated with the Divine Name in the "form, and symbolizes the running phase of growththe moving forward propelled by the awareness of Hashems infinite nature, that there is no end to possible growth. [This is a permutation of the Name EHYeH, which translates literally as I will be and implies the ever-evolving state of being = 51 + 02 + 51 + 111 = 161 = ]"If I were to fly up to the heavens, there You are...21

18 19

Avos 3:16 Zohar III:248a 20 Likutei Moharan I:6 21 Tehillim 139:8 9

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After being silent in the face of ones failings (the lower yud), and rising through the experience of shame (the middle-most vav), one approaches the upper yud, which represented the person who sits upon the chair [or the more lofty states that are founded on the lowlier basis of humbling experience]. This is a living demonstration of the concept, I will be like that which is abovefor a person must strive to emulate his Creator and contemplate just how he will come to serve Hashem completely. This is the mindset associated with Moshe Rabbeinu and the building of the Beis Hamikdashthe task that must be accomplished after destroying the force of Amalek as described earlier. Now that Elul has arrived, one must see to changing ones ways for the better.

Hashem is the JudgeHe Lowers This One and Raises This One When it comes to spiritual growth in general, we are told that a person needs to be an expert at running and an expert at returningwhat the Zohar calls one who can go up and come down.22 And the order here is important, because generally one first has to have an awareness of how endlessly far he has to go in his efforts to come close to Hashem, and must never be complacent about what he has already achieved, otherwise he will never get anywhere at all. If he falls, he must know how to return and strengthen himself to begin again no matter what. This two-phase process is expressed by the verse in Tehillim: If I were to fly up to heaven, there You are; but if I should lay my bed in hell, here You are.23 However, when we are speaking of the work of teshuvah more specifically, one must begin with the expertise of returning. This means realizing that no created being has the power to accomplish anything on its own, and that one must throw himself entirely on Hashems power and wait patiently for change. Even if it takes a lifetime to change ones ways, it shouldnt matter to him, since he trusts himself to Hashems care completely. This will empower him to truly return to Him; he will be an expert at returning.
22 23

Zohar Vayakhel 213b Tehillim 139:8 10

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Although it seems counterintuitive, this element of repentance is actually of a higher quality than that of running since it is rooted in Chochmah and not in Binah, as running is more directly. Even though it appears as though the mentality level that is accessed at the upper point of the yud is much higher, because its source is in Binah, it is the lower yud that really stems from the more lofty place. We see this expressed in the verse cited by the Zohar HaKadosh: Hashem established the earth (Malchus) in wisdom (Chochmah); He established the heavens (Mochin of Zeir Anpin) with understanding (Binah). Although the heavens appear higher than the earth, their spiritual roots are reversed. Hashem is the judgeHe lowers this one and raises this one.24 He lowers this onethe letters "and "and raises this onethe letters "and 52." This is meant to allude to the fact that Hashem has lowered the aspect of the hei, which is Malchus, and raised the aspect of the vav, which represents Zeir Anpin. Although the ultimate goal is to rise to ever higher levels and to come to a lofty awareness of Hashem, the truth is that the state of full self-nullification before Hashem is of an exceedingly high quality. However, knowledge of this is kept in a state of eclipse by Hashem because otherwise there is a danger that people will not drive themselves to grow and change when they experience true bitul. For this reason, a person must act as a judge and place the aspect of running uppermosthe must drive himself to improveeven as he realizes deep inside that it is only awareness of his own powerlessness that will fuel any real change. This was always the way of the true tzaddikim, who sanctified their minds more and more during the days of Elul and the high holidays. After reaching the state of full dependence on Hashems mercy, they are able to rise to a refined awareness of just how to change their ways every year, throughout the year. Even though it is possible for a person to change through the aspect of running, it winds up being superficial because he hasnt sufficiently grasped the
24 25

Tehillim 75:8 Zohar Rayah Meheimana 274b 11

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nature of his own powerlessness. That is only possible through the path of the lower yud, the path associated with Yehoshua the student of Moshe Rabbeinujust as it is impossible to build the Beis Hamikdash without first destroying the force of Amalek. To illustrate this concept, Rav Tzaddok HaKohein of Lublin taught that while in this world we consider a Torah scholar to be the person who has merited to learn Torah for its own sake and master all of its subjects. However, in the ultimate world of truth, the person considered a Torah scholar is he who has really yearned to fulfill Hashems will and has turned to Him in prayer so that he will be worthy of the gift of understanding that which he learns. In the world of truth, even if a person has mastered the Torahs wisdom, if he hasnt come to true self-nullification before Hashem, he will not be considered a scholar. This is a reflection of a teaching of Rebbe Nachmans: that the path to Eretz Yisrael is loftier and greater than Eretz Yisrael itself.26 [Longing in the state of self-nullification unites a person to the object of his longing in a spiritual way that surpasses an external accomplishment of a personal aim.]

Let Your Soul Know Wisdom This is the meaning of: "" Let your soul (nefesh) know (dei) wisdom (Chochmah) and it will be a crown (Kesser) for your head.27 One must know that the level of nefesh or Malchus really surpasses that of Zeir Anpin, because the light of Chochmah shines into it. When the month of Elul arrives, the main work is to develop expertise in running and returningand it all begins with returning. As the verse says: With this [zos] will Aharon enter the sanctuary...28 This refers to Malchus; when a person wants to enter the true Divine service of repentance like Aharon on Yom HaKippurim, he must enter with the aspect of Malchus, of true self-nullification. The main way that we come to this is through silently accepting the humiliations that are sent to us from
26 27

Likutei Moharan II:78 From the Shabbos zemer Dror Yikrah, based on Mishlei 24:14. 28 Vayikra 16:3 12

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heaven through the agency of other people. The shaming comes from realizing that years have gone by and he has yet to really change and achieve the spiritual goals that he has set for himself. He has hardly begun to improve. When faced by this realization, most people fall into despair and lose faith that they will ever come close to Hashem. Elul arrives, and they lose their willingness to do teshuvah or resolve to change. However, it is exactly from this state that it is possible to really make a new beginningfrom the awareness of ones own powerlessness and dependence on Hashem. Then he can rise to the level of, ...and it will be a crown / Kesser to your head. After doing the work of destroying Amalek, the work of Yehoshua, one rises to the level of the building of the Beis Hamikdashthe level of awareness of Moshe Rabbeinu. The sages taught, He who has true holy awareness, it is as though the Beis Hamikdash was built during his time.29 Then he will really be able to change and emulate his Creator, and he will be able to discover all of the stratagems he requires to come closer to Hashem completely. Then the holy days of repentance of Elul and Tishrei will be filled with inspiration to improve his ways, and he will become a new and more pure person. This is the meaning of the apparently contradictory traditions that the third Beis Hamikdash will descend to this world complete and perfected in an aspect of in fire from the heavens,30 and that it will be built at the hands of men.31 Really, there is no contradiction between themafter coming to the realization of our own powerlessness and absolute dependence on Hashem, we are gifted with the ability to build the Beis Hamikdash through out own labors. May Hashem help us to make proper judgments during this month of Elul, to realize that at its source, the attribute of Malchus is much higher than that of Zeir Anpin. May we be worthy of nullifying ourselves before Hashem completely, in an aspect of the first of the shearingand may all of our efforts be for the sake of heaven
29 30

Berachos 33a Sukkah 41a, and Rashis comments there. 31 Mishneh Torah, Hilchos Melachim 13

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rather than our own sakes. May we realize our dependence on Hashem, and then merit to receive the awareness of Moshe Rabbeinu so that we will know exactly what to do to improve ourselves. Then we will be privileged to see the building of the Beis Hamikdash and the revelation of Hashems glory before all, with the coming of our righteous redeemer, speedily and in our days. Amen.

Translated and Adapted by Rav Micha Golshevsky.

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Chapter VII, Part 2

Sefer Tanya
Chapter VII, Part 2
Such is not the case, however, with forbidden foods and forbidden coition [i.e. relations that defy the halchah], which derive from the three klippos that are entirely unclean. These are tied and bound by the chitzonim forever, and are not released until the day comes when death will be swallowed up forever. As is written, And I will cause the unclean spirit to pass from the land What this means is that, if a person sinned and did rectify his sin through teshuvah, even the suffering of Gehinnom will not help to uplift the vitality that he gave over into the hands of the chitzonim. It will have to wait until the final rectification, when death will be swallowed up forever. We can see from here just how important it is to be aroused to teshuvah immediately. Or until the sinner repents to such an extent that his premeditated sins become transformed into actual merits When a person falls into a sin within the realm of nogah, even a lesser degree of teshuvah can correct it. But if he did an actual sin then he remains bound to the transgression and release is only possible through a greater teshuvah. Which is achieved through repentance out of love, coming from the depths of the heart, with great love and fervor, and from a soul passionately desiring to cleave to the blessed G-d, and thirsting for G-d like parched desert soil The Baal HaTanya explains the nature of teshuvah from love here, that it is the search for dveikus with G-d and engaging in the contemplation of G-dliness. For inasmuch as his soul had been in a barren wilderness and in the shadow of death, which is the sitra achra, and infinitely removed from the light of the Divine Countenance, his soul now thirsts [for G-d] even more than the souls of
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the righteous. As our sages say, In the place where baalei teshuvah stand, not even the perfectly righteous can stand. It is concerning the repentance out of such great love that they have said, The premeditated sins of the baal teshuvah become, in his case, like virtues, since they are the means through which he has attained this great love The Komarna Rebbe explains that when a person feels a great deal of dveikus when he prays or learns, it is also a kind of teshuvah from love. At such moments, he feels how far he is from Hashem, and this stokes his thirst and yearning for G-d. So when a Jew feels dveikus at those times, he must hold himself to his avodah because it can repair all of his sins, even those from previous incarnations. One must certainly first do teshuvah from yirah, by confessing and feeling real regret, but it is not enough. It must be combined with teshuvah from love in order to really break down the barriers that exist between him and his Creator. The sages taught, Anyone that observes the Shabbos in accordance with its laws is forgiven all of his sins. The Apter Rav explains that Shabbos indicates dveikus, and that is what has the power to tear down the walls that intervene between a Jew and Hashem. This form of teshuvah from love is accessible to every single person, and can be reached through relatively simple actions. This idea is echoed in the teaching of the Vilna Gaon, that when a person learns for three hours straight at night and feels great dveikus, all of his sins are forgiven. In essence, the transformative power of teshuvah from love is when the sin becomes a stepping-stone to holiness, in that it is the catalyst of the persons great thirst for G-d. The sin left the soul in an arid wilderness; the parched realm of distance from Hashem is what gives rise to the thirst and yearning for holiness. The Zohar focuses on the Torahs words, With this [ ,the feminine] will Aharon enter into the holy One enters into Divine service through the aspect of Malchus [ ,the feminine], and there are different manifestations of Malchus. One is its role as Ateres HaYesod, the crown of Yesod, which is the capacity of visualization,
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or the holy use of the imagination. We can understand this idea by way of a parable; if a person is walking through the desert, even for only half an hour, and he receives a message that he will never be given water again, his thirst will be many times more intense than that of a person sitting in his home, even if that person hasnt had a drink for half the day. The thirst is in his imagination; his imagination tells him that he will die of thirst in the desert. Similarly, when a person sins a terrible barrier is thrown up between himself and the light of holiness, and what happens to him next depends on the state of his imagination. Most people, after they fall, are beset by despair. The sin instills a kind of heresy into hima conviction that he has nothing to do anymore with the Divine light. But when the sin makes him feel a great thirst for holiness and pained over his distance from Hashem, and when he sees this barrier as a manifestation of G-dliness because it will motivate him to teshuvah, then the Ohr Ein Sof comes to shine upon him. Hashem can certainly transform everything into good in an instant; even a person who violated every commandment a hundred times over can be brought by Hashem to every form of good in the world in a moment. The entire difference depends on the correct exercise of his imagination; he has to really feel and see that all of his distance from G-d was only meant to make him feel more longing to return to Him. This yearning opens the way for the light of Chochmah, which is the upper yichud. With this shall he enter the holyholiness is the light of Chochmah, the awareness that Hashem is in control of everything, even when a person sins. With the force of his holy imagination, he will grasp Hashems nearness to him even after the sin, and in this way he will feel overpowering yearning that will draw him closer to Hashem again and bring him to the kodesh. This is why, even if he serves idols as they did in the time of Enosh, if he observes the Shabbos it will all be forgivenif his sins bring him to greater dveikus, then he will come to complete teshuvah and he can be a total tzaddik.

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If a person does not hold strong to this thought, however, he will lapse into thoughts of hopelessness and despair. Then it is as though the sin still clings to him, because the despair is a product of the sin. Even if he does some teshuvah, it is not enough to fully detach from the sin, and in that case his deliberate sins are only transformed into inadvertent ones. They do not propel him into holiness. The Zohar states that the Torah has the potential to bring a person to teshuvah from love, and that is because the Torah can provide a person with whatever he seeks. If he wants to be a great man who gets a lot of respect, the Torah can make others honor him. If he seeks power in the material world, the Torah can give it to him too. But if he seeks only to draw closer to Hashem, the Torah certainly has the potential to make him genuinely closer to G-d. This great potential is accessed by devoting oneself to Torah study with mesirus nefesh; to learn with more energy than one really has, with a deepseated longing that the Torah restore him to Hashem. This will transform him, will fill him with thoughts of teshuvah from love, and purify his mind. The main path of study with self-sacrifice is in reviewing, because learning something new provides a vitality that is all its own. Real review isnt even reached during the first few times, because that too tends to reveal new information. It comes with learning something many, many times, purely to embed it in the mind and for the mitzvah, without any new flavor in the study. Such study is a living demonstration of the persons love for Hashem. The sages said, Whoever learns without reviewing is like one who sows without harvesting. It is the review that binds a person to the light of the Torah, that allows him to access all of the spiritual facets and segulos of the Torahit unites the surrounding and internal lights of the Torah so that it can really nourish his soul. It is a mitzvah to do teshuvah every day, and especially at the morning prayers every day because it is from the morning prayers that one draws spiritual vitality for the entire day. The Meor vShemesh explains that this is the reason for the practice of learning Torah before prayer. The kind of Torah study described here arouses the heart to teshuvah by helping a person first feel the pain of his distance from Hashem; only

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then it is possible to pray properly. This is why it is so important to get up very early in the morning, so that there will be sufficient time to study before prayer. To delve into the concept of teshuvah ilaah really deeply, we need to first discuss the creation of yeish from ayinex nihilo. What is the nature of the tzimtzum? Is the reality of the vessel really different from the light? At the beginning of the Eitz Chaim, we learn that the primary vessels were formed from the denser aspects of the light. [Note: This is explained at length in the lessons collected in Nesiv Chaim. The basic idea is that when the first lights emerged in the world of Adam Kadmon, they afterward retreated, and the denser elements of the lights remained. They developed into keilim, vessels.] The Ramchal provides a parable that can help us to understand the nature of the transition from ayin to yeish, from light to vessel. When we see a tree and we see its fruits, we can understand that there is a relationship between the tree and the fruits. But if we were to see pieces of gold growing from the tree, we would be confused, because we cannot see a relationship between the tree [the origin/light] and the metal [the product/vessel] even though we see clearly that the gold is emerging from the tree. [Note: The natures of tree and metal are so different, we cannot understand an organic relationship between them. This is accurate, because it is really impossible.] Now, if we saw light that had a 100 lumen intensity, and then another light with a single lumen intensity, we could understand that they are both of the same type, and the latter is just one hundredth of the former. If it was to be increased by 99 increments, they would be equal. However, if that single lumen could be subdivided in as many fractions as it took for it to lose any association with light as we know it, we would no longer be able to see the relationship between them [even though it still exists]. Similarly, if we were to take a fruit from a tree and cut it so finely that it was reduced to its most basic elements, we would also not be able to see any relationship between those final products and the tree that originated them, even though such a relationship certainly exists. And we would be right in calling both the sub-particle of the light or the fruit by an entirely different

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name, because it would no longer have any observable relationship with its origins; it would be like an entirely new entity. Now, the parable teaches us that even though the original Divine light included everything, the denser light gave rise to vessels that were not really new but only seemed new, because their observable nature was so different. We call the new reality yeish from ayin because the two seem so very different. When the original light shone at its original intensity, the dense light that was the forerunner of the vessel was subsumed within the origins brightness. But when that higher light was withdrawn, the denser nature of a part of the light [the one lumen, or the minute fraction of that one lumen] came forward. When they were together, the potential for yeish was just a part of the ayin. And when the ayin withdrew, the yeish crystallized. Even though the downward development of vessels yeish from ayin resulted in the lower worlds of Beriyah-Yetzir-Asiyah appearing distinct from that which is above them, they are still a part of the place from which they originated. They are like a small flame standing nearer to or further from a great blaze. If it is closer, it loses its independent existence because it can hardly be called a fire in comparison to the blaze. If it is further away, it has its own identity even though its nature hasnt changed. When the Baal HaTanya speaks of hibonenus, he means focusing on Hashems presence being everywhere, on Hashems light both surrounding and filling all worlds, that no place is devoid of Him. Our failure to see this clearly is only due to our limited perspective, not by any absolute truth. From the Creators perspective, His light is everywhere, and it is the same in His placeeverywhereas it was before the tzimtzum. Now we can better understand a teaching brought earlier; to find release from the barriers thrown up by sin, one should immerse himself in Torah study and focus on the bedtime Shema. In Berachos, the sages taught, One should always incite his yetzer tov against his yetzer haraand if not, he should recite Shema. When a person is surrounded by the klippah because of the sin he has done and the barrier it has created,

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learning Torah is not necessarily enough. He needs to recite Shema, which the Baal HaTanyabased on what he learned from the Maggid of Mezeritch, who received it from the Baal Shem Tovinterprets to mean hisbonenus. [Note: Hearing is associated with Binah-type contemplation.] Reciting Shema means looking around at the world and seeing how creation is all a part of the Creator. It is one of the constant duties to unify G-ds Namethis is the essence of Shemaand we do this by realizing that the observable universe is not separate from the One who created it. This constant duty will bring a person to fulfill all of his Torah obligations; it helps him to repair all of the damage caused by his sins, because it is really teshuvah ilaah, the loftiest form of repentance. This teshuvah comprises two parts: the first, as explained earlier, is that it serves as a springboard for a greater yearning for dveikus. In this way, the sin contributes to a mitzvah afterward. The second is that, with the right contemplation, one realizes that since the sin can fill him with greater yearning when he does teshuvah, there is also Elokus there, albeit in a hidden way. This is an even greater revelation, because it demonstrates that Hashem was there with him the entire time, that the barrier was itself a manifestation of G-dliness. The dark and dry wasteland was actually not empty at all; this awareness can even rectify the three klippos that are completely impure. This latter avodah is very, very difficult though, and it is not effective unless a person immerses himself in this hisbonenus for extended periods of time. He needs to work at his recitation of the Shema day and night, until he fully grasps that there is nothing but Hashem at any time, in any place, within any soul; everything that he has gone through in his entire existence has always been a manifestation of Elokus. The deeper a person enters into this avodah, the more of his sins are transformed into merits. Of course, all this is after the person has actually done teshuvah in its simpler sense and has ceased to sin. The deeper works explain that teshuvah from love is only possible after having performed teshuvah from yirah, because one cannot skip levels when it comes to spiritual growth.

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However, repentance that does not come from such love, even though it is true repentance and G-d will pardon him, does not transform a persons sins into merits, and they are not completely released from the klippah until the end of time, when death will be swallowed up forever The Yismach Moshe, Rav Yisrael Salanter and other tzaddikim taught that even teshuvah from yirahwhen done publiclyhas the advantage of teshuvah from love. This is one of the strongest points in favor of participating in mass gatherings that are meant to stir the community to teshuvah, as well as the special added prayers and tikkunim that are done during Shovevim and other times. [Shovevim are the six weeks from Parshas Shemos until Mishpatim; "is an acronym of the initials of the parshios.] Yet the vitality which is in the drops of semen that issue wastefully, even though it has been degraded and incorporated in the three

unclean klippos, nevertheless it can ascend from there by means of true repentance and intense kavanah during the recital of the Shema at bedtime, as is known from our master, the Arizal. It is implied in the Talmudic saying: He who recites the Shema at bedtime is as if he held a double-edged sword,1 with which he slays the bodies of the chitzonim that have become garments for the vitality which is in the drops [of semen], so that this vitality may ascend, as is known to those who are familiar with the Kabbalistic tradition. Therefore, the sin of wasteful emission of semen is not mentioned in the Torah among the list of forbidden relations, although it is even more grievous than they are. And his sin is greater because of the enormity and abundance of the impurity and klippos which he gives rise to and magnifies to an exceedingly great extent through wasteful emission of semen, even more than through forbidden relations. The difference is that, in the case of forbidden relations, he contributes strength and vitality to a most unclean klippah from which he is powerless to uplift the vitality by means of repentance
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[Note: The reason being that this vitality has been absorbed by the female Yesod-element of the klippah, which receives and absorbs the vitality from holiness. Not so with wasteful emission of semen, where there is no obvious female element of klippah, and only its powers and forces provide the garments for the vitality of the [wasteful] semen, as is known to those familiar with the Kabbalistic tradition. For this reason, it is easier to repair the damage through the recitation of the bedtime Shema.] Unless he repents with such great love, that his willful wrongs are transformed into merits On the one hand, damaging the area of bris is the most serious of all sins because it multiplies the extent of impurity in the world so much more than other sins. If a person does not repent, he will suffer terribly for it later. Nevertheless, teshuvah from yirah can repair the damage, and in this sense it is less grievous than forbidden relations. Once a forbidden relationship has generated a being with a body, it is far more difficult to repentfor this, one must reach the level of teshuvah from love. (Even so, the Mittler Rebbe did say that a genuine teshuvah from yirah will cause the mamzer to dieit will deprive it of its vitality.) From the above, one may understand the comment of our sages: Which is a fault that cannot be rectified?having incestuous intercourse and giving birth to a mamzer.2 For in such a case, even though the sinner undertakes such great repentance, he cannot cause the [newly created] vitality to ascend to holiness, since it has already descended into this world and has been clothed in a body of flesh and blood. There are people who think that they are really far from such awful sins, but that is only because they are not sufficiently aware of the damage caused by bad middos. The Baal HaTanya explains in another place the sages praise of the Jewish people, How goodly are your tents, O Yaakovthat their openings did not face one anothers, really refers to each persons openinghis mouthnot being open
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against his fellow Jew. We know that the sins of slander, character assassination, the pride that is gained at the expense of another persons honorall sins of the openingare very real aveiros. In fact, they are considered to be the most serious types of sins. A person who habitually rips into others is not fit to receive the Shechinah; better that he should throw himself into a burning furnace than publicly humiliate another Jew. And, even so, how common are such sins? Each and every person is filled with the bad middos with which he was born, and we all have endless cheshbon nefesh to doa great deal of hisbonenusto see where our moral flaws lie. The damaged character is far harder to identify than the more obvious sin; a person could see himself as filled to the brim with Torah and prayer and still indulge his lowest impulses at the expense of others without realizing the extent of his guilt. When he approaches his final judgment, he will be shocked to discover how much he had sinned throughout his life, and in failing to recognize his flaws he also failed to repent and repair them. Sometimes a person feels as though he has no place in the world, as though he is a wanderer without a real home. Rav Tzaddok Hakohen explains that this is his due punishment for having committed a sin akin to murderfor humiliating another Jew publicly. We know that Kayin expiated the murder of his brother by being sent to wander the earth. The more subtle manifestation of this is a feeling of displacement that just does not go away. The truth is that these interpersonal sins are rooted in pride, because the ego is boosted at the others expense. The remedy for this is Torah study and the study of Kabbalah. In either case, the earnest student learns early on that he has to invest a great deal of effort and time, and he still does not necessarily understand what he is learning clearly. It is a humbling experience that forces him to develop his capacity for hisbonenus-type contemplation, because without delving and pulling his study apart and putting it back together, and seeking the connections that exist between the disparate seeming things he learns, he will not grasp anything. This is as true of Kabbalah as it is

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of the revealed Torah, since the study of the Torahs inner dimension feels, at first, to be disconnected from the world of his personal avodah. It just seems theoretical, without any connection to his inner life. But this is only at the beginning, before he has developed his power of hisbonenus. There is a story about the Sfas Emes, that when he was a young man he approached his grandfather, the Chiddushei HaRim, and asked that he teach him Kabbalah. The Chiddushei HaRim told him to begin learning on his own, and to come to him if he had any questions. So the Sfas Emes began to learn the Arizals teachings, and as he learned through Eitz Chaim he wrote down question after question. When he came to his grandfather with a sheaf of questions, the Chiddushei HaRim said, If you say you labored and you found what you sought, you can be believed. Learn through everything again and then come to me with your questions. The Sfas Emes went back and learned through it again, and found that some of his questions had resolved themselves. He then approached his grandfather as before, and received the same response, so he went back and learned it again. This happened time after time, until it was clear that the Chiddushei HaRim never intended to answer the Sfas Emes, but only intended that he review and work at the concepts over and over again, until he merited to understand the concepts himself. While its true that Torah lectures are excellent at the start, nevertheless a person must get used to having to sit and struggle and work through concepts on his own until he has them clear. This is the root of the axiom, If you struggled and attained it, you can be believed. It is certain that Hashem wants to reveal His Torah to every single Jewish soul, and if a person really works he is sure to gain understanding. The work is the most basic level of hisbonenus. Critical as it is, though, it still does not have the power to transform a persons middos or his nature. The Zohar teaches that there is a point within the chamber [like the dagesh within the first beis of Bereishis], and the soul is constantly seeking this innermost point of G-ds glory that is hidden within the chamber of this world. To do so, one begins by

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developing the capacity to contemplate the Torah and struggle to find its meaning. Later, one expands on this ability and applies it to everything elseall of his circumstances, all of the reality that surrounds him, all eventsto reveal G-dliness within everything, including within himself. It is not only a power of reasoning or of contemplation; it requires the ability to pause and really reflect on that which is before him, and not to rush headlong through life superficially. A person must devote himself to this kind of focus at least during his recitation of the Shema and his Shemonah Esrei. He must review over these ideas time after time and reflect upon them, and this will bring Binah [hisbonenus] down to the level of the practical and actual, which is Daas. In this way, Binah gives birth to Daas, because the contemplation is more than just a matter of holding onto a dry thought; it gives rise to emotion, it is alive for him and within him, and he lives it. Binah is Imma Ilaahthe Supernal Motherbecause it gives birth to a new way of living that carries the person throughout his day. He is not in hisbonenus all day, but rather lives with the new Daas, with new levels of love and fear of Hashem, generated by Binah. Ultimately, every person really does need to feel his own self, but if his sense of self is divorced from the Divine Self, it will get him into trouble. The individual ego drives a person to act out his bad middos, but the more ones sense of self is rooted in his source in Hashem, the less possible it is for him to cause offense to anyone else. The study of Kabbalah is most effective for enhancing ones spiritual growth and service of G-d because its speaks of nothing but Hashem. And if a person studies the works of the Arizal and forgets his Creator, then what has he gained? The entire purpose of studying Kabbalah is to increase ones emunah and dveikus. This is why it is important to stop at intervals just to think about Hashem. [This is also the pause of hisbonenus.] The beginning of the Otzros Chaim [teachings of the Arizal] includes a diagram of the four major permutations of the Shem HaVaYaH [ ]", ", ", "and the kavanos of mesirus nefesh through the four forms of the Biblical death penalties. This is meant to prepare a person to truly study, and such mental reorientation is

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necessary throughout his study too. After every thing that he learns, he should go back and review; go back and reflect upon Hashems existence. The main means of sanctifying ones thoughts is through focusing them on spiritual matters. The writings of the Arizal help a person embark on the path of purifying his imagination [since you cannot contemplate spiritual realities except by way of the imagination]. One must therefore bind his thoughts to Hashem as he studiesto think about the Ohr Ein Sof and the tzimtzum and the kav [that draws the surrounding light into the space of the tzimtzum so that it can be accessed here]. One begins to see and feel that everything he is studying is really just a spiritual image or form that Hashem has revealed within the Torahs secrets, and this helps to bind him to G-d. It refines his mind so that he can achieve dveikus with Hashem.

Translated and Adapted by Rav Micha Golshevsky.

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