My Only Hope and Purpose

This morning I got a phone call from my aunt because she heard that I had recently accepted God into my life and Jesus as my savior. My aunt asked me if I could write about how I found God. At first I hesitated,thinking I wouldnt be able to do that. What would I say ? Would it make sense ? Then, thinking about it more, I realized that in my prayers I had asked God to use me as a vessel to carry out His message,to fill my heart with His word so it would pour out of my mouth. Plus at the church service that weekend the message was about spreading the word of God. I came to the conclusion that this was a prayer being answered. It was like the parable of the lost sheep. Luke 15:3-6 New International Version (NIV) 3 Then Jesus told them this parable: 4 Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesnt he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5 And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6 and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep. I was raised a catholic by my parents and had God in my life throughout my childhood, but I rejected Him. I went to church because I was told to, I went through the motions, but didnt really understand what a relationship with god was. So I lived my own will and went my own way { got lost }. I was in a slow process of self destruction, surrendering to the stronghold that had me in its grips, lost in the wilderness with no sense of direction, and giving into the temptations of the world. Galatians 5:19-21 New International Version (NIV) 19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. Even though I knew what I was doing was wrong I just couldnt stop and do the right thing. I told myself I just didnt know the way. Romans 7:14-20 New International Version (NIV) 14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to dothis I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. I clearly remember the day I was found. It was on a Sunday in August of 2010. I had pulled up into the parking lot to go to service, even though I was in a state of desperation, depression and broken mentally, physically and

emotionally. Everything around me was falling apart. I was losing my house, my job, my family my relationships, all I owned and all the people I loved and who loved me. Bound by addiction, I was losing the battle, but still had faith. I knew something had to change. I had gone to church on occasion, but this day was different. Ephesians 2:8 New International Version (NIV) 8 For it is by grace you
have been saved, through faithand this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God When I pulled into the parking lot I had a feeling come over my whole body. The only way for me to explain it is that I felt as light as a feather,almost like I was transparent. If felt like something entered my body,an enlightening feeling,a feeling I will never forget. Do you know the feeling you get when you help somebody, I mean re4ally help them? You know you helped them and they are so appreciative, they cant express their thanks. It was like that feeling but much more intense, and it wasn't just in my gut, but full-body. I didnt realize what that feeling was because of my lack of understanding and knowledge. Going to church that day in such desperation for help, and really needing it I received something.

Luke:13 13 If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good

gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him! God gave me the gift of the Holy Spirit that day.Romans 5:5 New International Version (NIV) 5 And hope does not put us to
shame, because Gods love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Even though I didnt realize it at that point , the help I was asking for was given to me. I had been saved by God mercy. Today, I now realize that it was the Holy Spirit that came upon me. Even though the Holy Spirit came upon me I was still battling with the flesh, stuck in way I was used to. I resisted the direction of the Holy Spirit for about two weeks.Psalm 40:2 New International Version (NIV) 2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,out of the mud and mire he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. I was stuck in a pit I had dug myself, not pulled out until that Sabbath day when I was blessed with the Holy Spirit I had to be carried on the shoulders of my Savior for a while until I realized how hurt I was. In the two weeks before I surrendered myself to the Holy Spirit it was scary for me.But that happened because of my drug addiction. I did not sleep or eat for days

Mark 14:38 New International Version

(NIV) 38 Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but
the flesh is weak. All the suffering I had gone through!To me, it was something that had to be done.James 1:12 New International Version {NIV} 12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. It also made me realize I needed help. I couldnt do it alone. I needed help from my heavenly father. It was mid-afternoon when I called the Salvation Army While in tears on the phone with the director, I had myself admitted to the program,not knowing it was a Christian program. Through the work of God I was where I was meant to be. It brought me to not only realize what I had been through and the reason for it,but also how to fix it. I now am letting go of my own will and trying my best to live by Gods will. Galatians

2:20 New International

Version (NIV) 20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in

me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Its been a battle every day to be obedient. The rewards are so much greater, while the blessing keep coming as the prayers are being answered. I give god all the glory for His mercy, love and sacrifice for me. Gods gift to me was life.Ephesians

2:8 New International Version (NIV) 8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through
faithand this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God My gift to Him is what I do with it. Jesus lived the life He live to die the death He did so I can live the life He lived. My divine purposes to love , respect and fear God as my father; to live as Jesus did to the best of my ability, to praise God for his grace,mercy. The most important purpose for me is to grow into Gods will for my life and to love Him and all my brothers and sisters,to forgive,to carry the message of God. Bobby W