What I Have Learned

By: Joseph A. Nagy, Jr.; Inspired by: God Licensed CopyFree (F) 2012, OWL http://owl.apotheon.org
Through these last 8 months, 9 if you include the arm break in December 2011, I have learned many things, such as how to read prescription shorthand and how to write - sort of - with my right hand. Most importantly, I've learned that God is still with us - if we accept His Son's free gift of salvation though not even that is truly without cost. God still cares about us, He still wants to use us, and He still wants to bless us. How He does any of those things is in accordance His will. One of the greatest lessons I've learned is that when we truly turn over anything to God - from our problems to our lives - He will surprise you, I know He surprised me. On the 5th of July I was ready and willing to give up the rest of my treatments. I didn't know how much longer I had to go, I didn't know how much more I could endure. I was missing my wife who, while with me for the majority of my treatment, had to go back to work so we could pay some of our mounting bills. I was itching to get back to work. I was itching to start physical therapy to regain some of what I had lost in range of motion and strength. I knew God would provide for all of this and more. I knew God had healed me before and would do so again - if it was in His will. The how long eluded me, though, and I was starting to really feel as if I couldn't endure another moment. I was wanting to act in my will, for which my doctor had provided an out, and I was hoping God would continue to bless my family and I when I did. I'm glad I let the Spirit guided me to Scripture and reminded me what God expects of me - and all His children. He spoke to me through Malachi as He had done to the Israelites 400 years or so before the birth of Christ. It was hard to process, especially since there were several topics He covered with me. The over-riding one, and the one I want to share with you today, was regarding our obedience to Him. This is What I've Learned. We aren't always good at being obedient, from Adam to today we have trouble - at times - of following even the simplest rules. We can be willful. We can be demanding. We can want to keep up with the Jones' even though what God has is better. Its even worse when we seem to have been given an out. Our will rises up and

says, "GIVE IT TO ME" in one form or another. The elders here have preached a lot on the will, the acts of defiance that keep God from us, and what it all means. I, I, I. Me, me, me. Mine, mine, mine. Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie. We're good at making sure we are satisfied, but our satisfaction is not what Christ has called us for. It's not what He died for. It's not what He died for. Our call to obedience - and our subsequent failure - begins in Genesis. Adam and Eve, as pure and perfect as they were created, were not able to subsume their will for God's when presented with temptation. That should be our warning right there, but it seems mankind - ourselves not excepted - was more interested in seeking I's will and not His will. There have certainly been consequences. The Flood, famine, drought - and that's all before we get to Moses' day and the Israelite's trip across the bottom of the parted sea. We have an obedience problem. I'm sure those of us with kids have said that about at least once in their lives. Of course, God has the solution. Want me to let you in on the secret to obeying God's every desire for our lives? For living out His will? It's easy and I'll even share the secret with you now. Total and complete surrender in every aspect of our lives. Live not for yourselves, but seek out His righteousness, seek out His desires, seek out His will. In other words, obedience to Him. It doesn't sound easy, does it. In fact, it sounds absolutely impossible. How are we to do it when Israel still can't and they are God's chosen people?! Well, for one thing, God never expected us to do it on our own. From the Garden to today the expectation is that we would turn to Him for the strength to do what He wants us to do. Its shown all through Genesis. I can think of at least 5 instances where man could have turned to God (and in at least two cases, did) for the strength needed and that doesn't get us past Samson and probably skips a lot of other awesome examples. There are also a plethora of examples where God's man of the moment did rely on Him for strength and all indeed worked out for His good and the good of those who call upon His name. We are indeed a blessed people, yet we are still a disobedient generation and God is calling out to us from the prophet Malachi and is telling us that His expectations have not changed. Our obedience to God is not optional. It's not something we can negotiate. Adam and Eve certainly discovered that when they were banished from paradise on earth. When they were cut off from Eden, and from the relationship they used to have with God, they discovered the consequences of their disobedience. When God was

bringing up the Israelites from Egypt, they discovered - several times - what happened when they were disobedient. Yet how quickly we fall into the trap of doing things our way - especially today in a world saturated with the glorification of self, of the holding up of the created as being greater than anything else, with the full on denial of there even being a creator running rampant through the political machine, through the marketing machine, through the news machine, and through the educational machine and all of it in an effort to justify our disobedience to God. Malachi addressed just such a nation when God used him as a mouthpiece in warning to Israel. Starting in Malachi 1:6, we see a nation whose honor and fear is no longer with the LORD. "A son honoureth his father, and a servant his master: if then I be a father, where is mine honour? and if be a master, where is my fear? saith the LORD of hosts unto you, O priests, that despise my name. And ye say, Wherein have we despised thy name? Ye offer polluted bread upon mine alter; and ye say, Wherein have we polluted thee? In that ye say, The table of the LORD is contemptible. And if ye offer the blind for sacrifice, is it not evil? and if ye offer the lame and the sick, is it not evil? offer it now unto thy governor; will he be pleased with thee or accept thy person? saith the LORD of hosts." Here was a people only concerned with pleasing themselves. Here was a people who was not being obedient to God and in so doing essentially telling Him that He was beneath them in terms of honor. I was certainly like Israel as - unknowingly - the end of my treatments loomed near. I was ready to be done with God's will. I was ready to step out on my own and back to my wife whom I was dearly missing as we spent more time away from each other. I was ready to get back into work and not worrying anymore about cancer or chemo or hospital stays. The problem was, as God showed me, that wasn't His plan. That wasn't His will. As the timing for me to make a decision drew near, so did my unease about what to do. I wanted God's blessings, His healing, and to give Him all honor, glory, and praise for it, but my strength was failing. I couldn't carry on, I didn't want to carry on. I started praying, asking God to show me what more He wanted from me. I asked for some idea on how much longer this had to last. I told Him how weak I was, how much I missed being home. How much I missed my beautiful wife. Then I picked up a Gideon's bible that was in my room, prayed once more for His word to show me His will, and I opened it right up to Malachi. I was suspicious at first, after all I was really expecting some

great teaching from Paul or maybe even Isaiah or another well known man of God. Of course I had heard of Malachi, but wasn't he a minor prophet? I looked up at God, shrugged my shoulders and said, "Okay, I'll trust you" and began to read. Nearly the rest of the time I was in the hospital those 5 days, I spent contemplating what He had shown me in Malachi, how my obedience was to Him and not whatever I wanted, even if my doctor gave me an out. I was reminded of how Paul, when he had a thorn in His side and God wouldn't remove it so as to remind Paul that it is in our weakness that His strength is made perfect. I was reminded of how God puts people in authority over us - whether or not they honor Him is their problem - and how we are to put our trust in them and give them due honor. 5 days came and went and in those 5 days I remembered that I wasn't doing this alone and God knew how I was hurting inside, even if my physical health hadn't really suffered during these treatments. In those 5 days I remembered that if I am truly going to give glory to God both in word and deed, I would have to carry on until he told the doctor I was finished and she told me the same. In those 5 days I was able to once again show God the obedience I swore I would when I gave myself over to His Son and made Him Lord and Savior of my life. I will be the first to tell you that I didn't like the idea of going through even more separation from those I love and care about, but God needs to be my first love, and to Him goes my full obedience. All through Malachi He showed me how He honored and blessed those who would show Him honor, and how those who wouldn't would be cut off. He didn't just show me about obedience in one area of my life, either. He reminded me it was a total commitment and how nothing less would please Him. Whether it was tithing, trusting Him with my health past what I thought necessary, or really trusting Him with nothing less than what He has called for throughout all of creation: everything I had. I was going to quote more out of Scripture, especially Malachi, from whom I learned so much in just a few short moments spent in earnest reading with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I was going to flip back and forth to specific verses to really drive the point home that it is our obedience he desires and how it is in our obedience - willing obedience - to Him and His will that we are truly satisfied because it is at those moments that we are finally getting out of the way and letting Christ shine through. Where do I begin to quote though? I could quote the entire Bible and still not make the case strong enough for giving it all to Him. I stand before you once again renewed in an understanding of Christ and what is expected of me, of my wife, of my

family, that I cannot make the case strong enough because God has already made it such. I cannot add to it. I cannot take from it. What I've learned, even for all the words that have been given to me to speak to you this day, cannot be expressed in such a mundane fashion. I spoke some with Brother David as God was showing me all this and even then, though I knew how to say what it was that was burning in my heart, I couldn't express it because it had to be lived. It had to be experienced and revealed and I do not have enough time on this earth to fully express that which God has shown me. 5 short days, and while I'm still ignorant of a lot of things, one thing that I am sure of is that my obedience will remain to God and His word because His statutes are written on my heart and it gives me such joy to follow them. God certainly is not a magic wish genie, but the next appointment I had with my doctor (actually one of her associates with whom she had asked me to see as she was out of town on some urgent business) was the answer to my prayers and I didn't have to use the out given to me. August 2nd was the start of my last two rounds of chemotherapy. I was nearing the end of this race and after God showing me how His will would be fulfilled, how the work would be finished, and how I was to trust in the authority He had placed in my doctor; well, I had no trouble praising Him then. I was ready to go for chemotherapy the rest of my life if that was His will. I will quote another few verses that really struck me as I was finishing up Malachi. If you'll turn with me to Malachi 3:16: "Then they that feared the LORD spake often one to another: and the LORD hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the LORD, and thought upon his name. And they shall be mine, saith the LORD of hosts, in that day when I make up my jewels; and I will spare them, as a man spareth his own son that serveth him. Then shall ye return, and discern between the righteous and the wicked, between him that serveth God and him that serveth him not." When we honor God, it does bring blessings upon ourselves, but not because we deserve such things. Its because we have a loving Father, Creator, and Master that is generous to those who honor Him, no matter how short they may fall. As we continue to give God our best instead of our least, as we continue to give to Him until it is beyond hurt, as we continue to be obedient to His calling upon our lives; the one thing I've learned above all else is that through our willing obedience will the world truly know us as followers of Christ. It is through our

obedience that we finally get out of the way and Christ really shines through. Obedience is certainly not easy, anyone with children know this first hand. For the rest of us, just realizing how we were when we were children should be enough - if we are honest with ourselves. Willful. Petulant. Stubborn. Stiff-necked. Hard hearted. Those should be familiar adjectives. I can't count the number of times God has used those adjectives, or ones similar, to describe His people. How many times have our parents used it to describe us? I know my own parents must have used at least half of those more times than I would like to remember or admit. Now here I was, questioning where I had put my own faith - was it still with God or in man's medicines and treatments derived from imperfect knowledge? That's the question I asked that stopped me from making a snap decision. I have no doubts it was the Holy Spirit giving me a chance for some Godly reflection, if only I'd take it. I'm glad I did. I'm glad that after prayer, reflection, and waiting on God to speak to me through whatever means He chose - in this case a minor prophet with not a lot to say, but boy was it a strong message. I was floored. Stunned. Ashamed. Here I was, telling people - either in word or deed - that I am following God's will and I was ready to step out from that and try and walk on my own. God told me, "I will finish the work I began and I will let you know when its done. All you have to do is be obedient to my will and calling upon your life. I am the one who gave you strength thus far and I will see you home." It didn't take me long to understand the precipice I had stepped to the edge of, nor to step back from it. I left the hospital that Monday with a new, Godly resolve: to continue the treatments until He said I was done. Until He said it is finished. I knew He would continue to work through those people, places, and things that He has provided. Paul really must have known something more than what he was able to share when he penned his epistles. In 2 Corinthians 12:7-9 he speaks of this thorn in his side, a messenger of Satan sent to buffet him, lest he be exalted above measure. After three times of begging God for release, all God had to remind Paul of was this: "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness." That is what I would like to leave with you, brothers and sisters, friends, and those who may be watching this later on. It is our obedience that He seeks, that He has always sought, and when we are obedient he does respond. And while I don't want anyone to think God is some sort of magical, wish-granting genie, my own desire for my treatments to be done was realized the first week in July when I was told that I was at the end of my

treatments. When God starts a work in you, He will finish it and it will be a blessing to us, one way or another. More importantly though, God will be glorified.