Romans The Kings Gloss On Twelve Years

RUDINI MULYA _ TEKNIK INDUSTRI UNIVERSITAS MERCU BUANA
2010
Twelve Years
No, Harry. Its over. Jaejoong was glad his voice was strong and sure, belying the fact that his heart was screaming, "Itll never be over, but I have to let you go." Jaejoong, please dont do this, Harry begged, reacting without thought, staggering forward and clinging to Jaejoongs hand as if he could physically hold him there, somehow force him to change his mind. But Jaejoong had sworn he wouldnt give in this time. He knew hed never love anyone the way he loved Harry, would never give in to the abandon of emotion, body and soul, the way he had with Harry, but that wasnt the point. The point was Harry was married now and he could no longer continue this charade. Harry had no idea what this was doing to him, didnt realise how hard this choice had been, but if he didnt end it now, he would surely kill the Weasley bitch. And Jaejoong was quite sure that killing the mother of Harrys child would be a very bad thing. Letting go now was the only way to prevent Jaejoong from spiralling down a never ending black tunnel of loss and pain. I cant Jaejoong tried to stop himself before his voice broke, but it was too late. Hed practiced this so many times hed thought it wouldve become second nature. I cant do this anymore, he continued with a whisper. I cant continue to share you. I promise you, Jaejoong, as soon as James goes to Hogwarts, Ill tell her. Im sorry, Harry. Its not enough. Jaejoong looked into the eyes that held the key to his heart and wished with the intensity of a childhood dream that it could be enough, but it wasnt. He brought Harrys hand to his lips and kissed it lightly. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to see you with her? What it does to me to watch her touch you, to see her kiss the lips that belong to me? I cant leave her, Jaejoong. I wont abandon my son. Im not asking you to abandon your son," Jaejoong said with a heavy sigh. "I know you would never do that. Im asking you to leave a woman you say you dont love. Why is that too much? I cant, Harry whispered, the words trailing off as if he wanted to be able to say more, but there was nothing left. Jaejoong had known what Harry would say, but he also knew the only choice that would leave him sane was to walk away. Goodbye, Harry, he said softly as he released Harry's hand and turned to leave, hiding the tears that rolled down his cheeks as he closed the door behind him. ~~~~~~~~
TWELVE YEARS | 1
2010
Harry watched the photo on the front page of the Prophet over and over, like a cycle of unrelenting madness. He had never believed Jaejoong would do it. Still couldnt believe hed actually meant it when he'd left. Jaejoong had always been full of threats, but Harry thought hed always come back. The emptiness Harry felt when he realised his mistake was almost unbearable. As he ran his finger along the photo, tracing the outline of Jaejoong's face, he thought of all the promises he'd made. All the reassurances he'd given to Jaejoong that he'd never hurt him, that he'd never choose his friends over him. He'd made more promises to Jaejoong than he had to anyone, yet with one horrific argument and one night of spiteful drunkenness, hed managed to break almost all of them. When Ginny had told him shed got pregnant that night, there was no question what he would do. Hed always wanted a child, a family. That was the one thing Jaejoong would never be able to give him. But hed been unable and unwilling to give Jaejoong up. He'd thought he could somehow keep his promises, thought he could still make the man happy, thought things wouldnt change between them. Hed been wrong. He could almost feel the warmth of Jaejoong's breath against his cheek as he had said those words to him all those months ago. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to see you with her? What it does to me to watch her touch you, to see her kiss the lips that belong to me? As Harry watched Jaejoong kiss his new wife, he finally understood what Jaejoong had been going through. He finally realised what a fool hed been, what hed taken for granted, what hed lost. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Harry, what are you doing here? Jaejoong almost stumbled when he opened the door. I came to offer my congratulations, Harry answered, an unreadable look on his face. Jaejoong bit his lip and had to cling to the door to stop himself from diving into Harrys arms. It had been six months since they had said goodbye. Six months without hearing his voice, or seeing his face. Six months of pure hell, and now he was here, standing at Jaejoongs front door looking every bit the saviour he was. Jaejoong wanted, more than anything, to be saved. Saved from his mistakes, saved from his life, saved from his choices. But that wasnt meant to be. No one could save him now, especially not Harry. Please dont do this, he whispered, his voice broken and defeated. Just leave and let me forget about you. Harry reached out and traced Jaejoongs knuckles, white from gripping the door so tightly. Do you love her? What the fuck difference does it make? Jaejoong hissed, letting anger cover the quaking loneliness Harrys touch caused. You have your family, now Ill have mine. If I cant have you, at least Ill have an heir.
TWELVE YEARS | 2
2010
Harry took a step back, the meaning of Jaejoongs words hitting him like a slap in the face. An heir? Shes pregnant. Jaejoong glared at Harry, trying to tap into the hate hed once felt, trying desperately to hide what he really wanted. But he should have known better. Hed never been able to hide from Harry. Never. Harry stepped in closer. Close enough that Jaejoong felt his breath whisper past his ear. Do you love her? he asked with a soothing voice that made Jaejoong tremble. He couldnt hold himself back any longer. The faint smell of Harry's cologne, the tenderness in his voice, the intensity of his gaze, it was all too much. He let his hand fall from the door, seeking out the warmth of Harrys body. You already know the answer to that, he said as he closed his eyes and let his forehead fall against Harrys shoulder. Please dont make me say it. He tried to stop the tear that ran down his cheek but it was a wasted effort and he knew it. The tears were always there waiting for him whenever he thought of Harry. Whenever a warm breeze would brush his cheek like Harrys kisses always had. Whenever the sun would rise and mock him with a new day or when it would set, laughing at his misery with vivid colours, each one representing a memory he was trying so desperately to forget. Harry shoved them both into the entrance hall and closed the door behind them. He pressed Jaejoong against the wall and covered his face with gentle kisses, tasting the tears and making them disappear with his lips. Jaejoong whimpered and when he wrapped his arms around Harry and clung to him with desperation Harry considered Apparating them away and never returning. This couldnt be goodbye; there could never be a goodbye between them. They had fought too hard to ever let this go. Ten more years, Jaejoong. In ten years James will be at Hogwarts and I promise Ill tell Ginny. Jaejoong was shaking his head, still leaning against Harry as if he was trying to crawl inside him. Twelve. It will be twelve years before my child goes to Hogwarts.
Harry took in a sharp breath and Jaejoong could tell he was trying desperately to bury a sob. Twelve years, then. After September first, twelve years from now, there will be only you, your lips to taste, your arms to wrap around me, your warmth next to me every night, your touch to make me shiver and scream. From that day forward, Jaejoong, I promise you Harry swallowed the stone that seemed lodged in his throat. I promise to moan only your name.
TWELVE YEARS | 3
2010
Twelve Years Later by Alaana Fair
Chapter 1: Twelve Years Later Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. All characters are over the age of 18. Thanks to Sesheta_66 for the wonderful beta job! If you read, please review! I would love to know what you think! Twelve Years Later Part 1
Harry had never been more nervous in his life. He read over the note in his hand for what must have been the tenth time, fully aware of why he was so terrified to send it. What if the return message was one he didn't want to hear? What if his note was ignored and a response never came? The snowy owl next to him cocked his head this way and that, as if he knew how difficult this was for his master. He'd been waiting patiently for the last hour as Harry had written and rewritten the letter a dozen times. Harry finally rolled the parchment up and tied it carefully to the owl's leg. "You know where to go, Heldrad. Don't come back without an answer." The owl hooted and nipped him on the ear. Heldrad was a clever owl, perhaps even more so than Hedwig had been. Harry hoped the cheerful hoot was a good sign. ~~~~~~~~~ For the last twelve years, late summer had been Jaejoong's favourite time of year. It was still warm during the day, but the nights were beginning to get cooler, with a crispness to them that somehow warmed him more than the hot sun. September was coming and with September came hope. He meandered through the gardens, occasionally stopping to pretend to examine a rare flower or a particularly unique bush, but in reality, he was overwhelmed with memories. Memories that should have faded, but had sharpened to an almost blinding clarity. Tomorrow, he would know. Tomorrow the future he'd been living for would either begin or end. When the bright white owl landed on the bench next to him he was almost afraid to take the note. The owl represented the two distinct possibilities he'd been mulling over for weeks. Either Harry wanted to make sure he'd be at King's Cross station tomorrow, or he was apologizing for once again breaking his promise.
TWELVE YEARS | 4
2010
He was surprised his hand didn't tremble when he reached for the parchment. The owl seemed to sense his anxiety and hopped onto his lap, nuzzling his head against Jaejoong's chest. "Hello, Heldrad. I've missed you too, boy." Jaejoong had never been more grateful for an animal's affection as he was at this very moment. He opened the letter quickly, determined to get it over with, one way another. Jaejoong, As I write this, I'm trying to imagine what the last twelve years have been like for you. Is it selfish of me to hope they've been as difficult for you as they have been for me? I suppose it is, but I won't lie to you, I hope they have. You've been my last thought every night before falling asleep and my first thought upon waking for much longer than twelve years now. I hope you know that. I'll be at King's Cross station tomorrow dropping off Albus. I'm assuming you'll be there as well with Sungwoong. I have to believe it's fate that we'll be back there, where it all started so many years ago. Where there will be so many memories of what we were before I fucked everything up. I know I have no right to say this, but I miss you and I love you. I'm hoping we can talk. I made you a promise and I intend to keep it if you'll let me. Love always, Harry
By the time Jaejoong had finished the letter it was so blurred and tear-stained that he could no longer distinguish the lettering. But he had no need to read it again. The words had been branded on his heart as surely as if Harry had burned them with fire. After tomorrow, Harry would be his. "Is it from him?" Jaejoong looked up into the fiery blue eyes of his wife and smiled. "Yes." Marsalis returned his smile and Jaejoong felt for a moment his heart might burst with pure joy. She had always known, of course, that he was gay, and in love with a man he couldn't have. She'd accepted it as the price to pay for being a Kim and had never once tried to change the terms of their agreement. She had, however, become Jaejoong's closest friend and confidant. The one person he trusted, not only with his son, but with his secrets. He realised he would miss her. "Thank you," he said softly as he took her hand and kissed it.
TWELVE YEARS | 5
2010
Once inside Marsalis politely excused herself, saying she was tired, but Jaejoong knew she was being kind enough to leave him to answer the letter in private. How he'd had the good fortune of her finding him, he would never know, but he was thankful. He went straight to his study and pulled out the finest parchment money could buy. Harry wouldn't notice, but from now on he promised himself only the best for Harry. No matter what. Harry, It is selfish of you, but I'm no better, for I'm pleased to know you have suffered as I have. I will be at King's Cross tomorrow. It will be good to see you after all this time. Yours always, Jaejoong
There was so much more he wanted to say, but it could wait until he could say it to Harry's face, lost in the warmth of his arms and the green of his eyes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Harry, what in Merlin's name is wrong with you?" Harry turned to face the brown eyes that pleaded for him to tell her the truth. But he couldn't, not yet. He wouldn't break her heart until he was certain he had to. He hated it, hated himself for the deception that had become his life. Fourteen years ago he'd thought he was doing the honourable thing by marrying her. But now it occurred to him he'd only made things worse. It had been three hours since Heldrad had left with the letter and still no response. What if Jaejoong was happy? What if he'd forgotten all about their promise? Harry snorted derisively. It would serve him right, he supposed, if Jaejoong told him to get fucked. Harry wouldn't blame him, but he hoped, prayed to whomever would listen, that he'd have the chance to make up for the last fourteen years. "It's not like Albus is going away forever, Harry. You've been a nervous wreck for weeks. You weren't like this with James. I wish you would just talk to me." "Ginny, this has nothing to do with Albus, okay? I've already told you that. This is about me, and I will talk to you about it. Tomorrow, after we drop off Albus. I promise." Ginny looked at him sceptically, but responded only by turning and stomping from the room.
TWELVE YEARS | 6
2010
Harry continued to stare out the window until he saw a small white spec moving across the darkened sky. Heldrad landed with a squeak and immediately held out his leg as if he knew how anxiously his master had been waiting. Harry read the note several times, letting the tears that fell wash away the weeds of past mistakes, and water the flowers of his future. He ran his fingers along the words as if they could reach through time and space to connect him to the man he loved.
Chapter 2: Twelve Years Later Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. All characters are over the age of 18. Thanks to Sesheta_66 for the wonderful beta job! If you read, please review! I would love to know what you think! Twelve Years Later - Part 2 - King's Cross
Platform nine and three-quarters was even more crowded than Jaejoong had remembered as a child. The smoke from the train seemed to be trying to smother his anticipation. Marsalis held his hand, knowing him well enough to sense that his sudden sombreness was caused by fear. He looked at her and smiled, thanking her with his eyes, because there were no words to convey his gratitude. She glanced up and nodded toward a loud group of children who were chattering away with their parents. As Jaejoong looked up he could feel the colour drain from his cheeks. There they were: Harry's family; his friends; the people who had shared Harry's life for the last twelve years instead of him. Jaejoong gritted his teeth and schooled his expression into one of indifference. His heart was pounding so loudly in his chest that he was sure everyone around him could hear it. Just as he was about to turn away, Ron Weasley caught his eye, followed in a split second, by Harry. The rest of the group seemed oblivious to the drastic change of temperature in the station. Harry's eyes twinkled when they caught Jaejoong's and it took all of his self control to simply nod and turn away. He wanted to run full force into Harry's arms, to take back what was had always been, would always be his. When he glanced back over his shoulder, the chattering had continued, all except for Harry, who was still staring in his direction, lust and longing written so clearly on his face that Jaejoong had to laugh. He couldn't believe that no one else had noticed it. He smiled, a feeling of elation welling up from an unknown source and threatening to carry him away in its wake. When Harry smiled back, Jaejoong knew for certain that Harry would keep his promise this time. That this really was the day that began the life they thought they would always have.
TWELVE YEARS | 7
2010
As Harry watched the train leave the station and round the corner, he felt the tears well up, unshed, in his eyes. They weren't tears of worry or sadness as Ginny suspected, but tears of overwhelming joy. Jaejoong's smile lingered in his mind, the cheeky wink a promise of blinding happiness. All was indeed well, he thought as he looked at Ginny and said, "I'll meet you at home. There's something I have to do." "But Harry, you said we needed to talk... Lily's going with Ron and Hermione" "I know. We will, but there's something important I have to do first. I'll meet you at home in a few hours." "You alright, mate?" Ron asked, looking concerned. Harry smiled. "Yeah, Ron, I'm good. Really good. Can you take Ginny home?" "No problem. Are you... are you sure you're okay?" Harry laughed like he hadn't done since he was fifteen. "Yes, Ron, I'm sure." ~~~~~~~~~~~ Jaejoong was busy transforming the old storage room into a comfortable sitting area. From the thick layer of dust that covered every surface, it appeared no one had even entered the room since the last time he and Harry had met here. It seemed like a lifetime ago. It had been a lifetime ago. When the door creaked open, Jaejoong jumped in surprise. Harry looked around and smiled at Jaejoong's handiwork. "It looks just like I remembered except for..." Harry glanced at Jaejoong quizzically. Jaejoong snickered. "I thought adding a bed might be a bit overkill." Harry stalked slowly to where Jaejoong stood next to the sofa, the wand that had brought them together still held up as if in mid-stroke. There was so much he wanted to say, but more than anything he wanted to kiss those perfect pink lips that looked exactly as Harry had remembered them. When Harry reached Jaejoong he ran his hands down Jaejoong's arms so slowly the other man moaned and leaned into the touch. "I've missed you," Harry whispered into Jaejoong's ear, eliciting a tiny whimper. When Harry's hands had reached the end of their journey he clasped Jaejoong's wrists and pulled the other man against him, wrapping Jaejoong's arms around his waist.
TWELVE YEARS | 8
2010
"Tell me this is okay, Jaejoong. Tell me you're still mine." Harry's voice was both forceful and pleading, just the combination that had always made Jaejoong's head spin out of control. "Always," Jaejoong murmured so softly it would have been caught by the breeze and carried away if they weren't in a stale closed off storage room. Harry released Jaejoong's hands to cradle his face. "Only your touch, Jaejoong, only your kisses. I promise." Jaejoong couldn't take his eyes off of Harry's. The green seemed to permeate him, sinking into him and making him glow. He'd waited an eternity for this and he knew if Harry asked him to, he'd wait another. But Harry wasn't asking him to. Harry was here, keeping his promise, and Jaejoong was never again going to let him go. "Kiss me," Jaejoong whispered and before the words were completely formed his lips were covered by Harry's warmth, wet and soft, yet forceful and needy. Jaejoong felt something bang against his leg just before his wand fell to the floor. Harry's hands were everywhere, remarking territory that had always been his. Roaming over skin that begged for his touch, had been begging for twelve years. Neck, shoulders, ribs, chest, stomach, thighs, calves, ankles, toes it all belonged to Harry, would always, no matter what. "God, Jaejoong, I've missed you," Harry mumbled over and over like a sweet melody or an ancient enchantment. Jaejoong was so lost in the taste of Harry's skin that he didn't really hear the words, but he knew what they meant, recognised the familiar vibration under his tongue. They meant this was real, not a dream from which he would eventually be forced to awaken. This wouldn't be followed by tears of regret, because Harry was back and was his once again. He thought he might never be able to get enough of Harry, of his scent, his touch, his words, his breath. Thought perhaps he could stay here forever, naked and sweaty, wrapped around Harry, held by him like he was the most precious thing in the entire universe, being worshiped by the man who had never worshiped anyone. He didn't remember it being this good, not even before when they thought it couldn't possibly get any better. The knowledge of how close he'd come to losing this made it that much sweeter and when the fire of orgasm finally overtook him, he let his eyes close and welcomed sleep for the first time in twelve years. ~~~~~~~~~~ When Jaejoong awoke to gentle kisses running along his neck, he almost cried out because it felt so perfect, but instead he chose to take Harry's face into his hands and guide the lips to his, feeding on them, letting them give his soul the nourishment it had been deprived of for so long. The kiss lasted much longer than either of them had planned, neither willing to pull away first. Finally Harry whimpered into the kiss. "I have to go."
TWELVE YEARS | 9
2010
Harry wrapped his body around Jaejoong to reassure him. "Just for a little while, Jaejoong. Then we can... I've taken a flat in London. By now Kreacher should have everything set up. I thought..." Harry's heart began pounding in his throat and he took in a trembling breath. "I haven't talked to Ginny yet, I have to go do that and then... I was hoping you'd have dinner with me tonight." Jaejoong's eyes were still closed, but he smiled and when his eyelids finally fluttered open, Harry could have sworn there was a tiny galaxy twinkling in the grey irises. He looked around and for the first time realised what they were lying on. "Where'd the bed come from?" Harry glanced up at him in surprise. "I thought you" Jaejoong shook his head, then remembered the hard thing that had hit him in the calf just as Harry had kissed him. He still had his wand in his hand at the time. "I guess I..." He grinned. "I may have done a bit of unintentional magic." Harry rolled over on top of him and kissed him again gently. "You wanted a bed, and what Kim Jaejoong wants, Kim Jaejoong gets, one way or another," Harry whispered into his ear. "What Kim Jaejoong wants is you," he whispered back, letting the connotations flow as clear as the water in a mountain spring. Jaejoong felt Harry's breath catch. The next kiss wasn't nearly as gentle as the previous one. It was possessive, full of hunger and greed and raw animal instinct. Jaejoong pushed into it, knowing both their lips would be puffy and bruised, but not caring in the least. This was his. Damn it to hell, Harry was his, and he wanted the red-headed vixen that had stolen twelve years from him to know it. He pushed against Harry, flipping him onto his back and startling him, never relenting from the battle of lips and tongue, just moving them down to devour Harry's neck, his chest, to bite and tease those nipples that cried out to him, to leave an unmistakable trail of proof that Harry was his now. No one else's. By the time Jaejoong made it to Harry's cock, the man was begging, calling his name in short bursts and long drawn out wails that could have been mistaken for howls of pain if anyone had been listening. Harry was pushing his groin up forcefully and Jaejoong knew the whimpering man needed him so badly he'd do anything, say anything, to get relief. It was extortion at the very least, but Jaejoong needed to hear it. He ran his tongue up Harry's shaft slowly, circled the head with his tongue once, then stopped and looked up. Harry mumbled something and whimpered, threading his hands in Jaejoong's hair trying with all his might to get his cock into the warm, inviting mouth that he remembered. "Tell me, Harry. Say it. Say I can have what I want." Harry opened his eyes and looked down at Jaejoong, eyes dark and dangerous. "You already have me, Jaejoong. You always have," he whispered hoarsely.
TWELVE YEARS | 10
2010
The shiver of pleasure that ran through Jaejoong's body with those words was almost enough to make him come again. Never breaking eye contact with Harry, he grinned before trying to swallow Harry's cock whole. "OhfuckJaejoongfeelssogood!" Harry wailed, and minutes later Jaejoong's mouth was feeling pleasantly abused as Harry rammed into it and came so hard Jaejoong wondered if he'd be able to talk for a week. Harry lay there, trembling, as Jaejoong moved up and lay down beside him. He hadn't dared to think the day would turn out like this. Hadn't allowed himself to believe they could start right up were they had left off. But apparently, neither of them had really left off anywhere. Somehow, in their minds, in their hearts, perhaps even in their souls, they'd never been apart. "Jaejoong?" Harry asked hesitantly once he'd remembered that he knew how to form words. "I wasn't sure what I should tell Ginny." Propping his head in his hand, Jaejoong looked at Harry oddly. "What do you mean?" "Well, I..." Harry took a deep breath. He'd been avoiding even thinking about this over the last twelve years, but the time had come to face the truth. "I promised you I would leave Ginny, that there would be only you, but..." Harry saw flame blaze in Jaejoong's eyes and immediately knew Jaejoong was jumping to the wrong conclusion. He shook his head and ran his hand along Jaejoong's face. "Don't, Jaejoong. Please don't always think the worst of me." Jaejoong bit his lip. "I don't," he said defensively, pulling away from Harry's hand and watching it fall to the bed. "But, what?" "But you never said you would leave your wife," Harry said, looking away from Jaejoong's stern gaze, staring at his hand as if it was the most fascinating thing ever. "I don't know if I can tell Ginny about us, or if we still have to keep this a secret." The longer the silence stretched, the more Harry dreaded the answer. "Harry, are you telling me that you would leave Ginny even if I didn't tell Marsalis?" Harry's heart plummeted; it served him right. He couldn't speak so he just nodded, refusing to face Jaejoong and let him see the pain that was forcing its way through his veins. He didn't expect the warm breath that whispered in his ear. "She already knows." Harry's head whipped up and met Jaejoong's gaze. "She's always known," Jaejoong said softly. "Always." "But..." Harry stumbled over even that simple word.
TWELVE YEARS | 11
2010
"Yes, it is a bit ironic isn't it? That the brave, honest Gryffindor has been living a lie, while the deceitful Slytherin has been perfectly honest." Harry winced. Jaejoong took Harry's hand, threaded their fingers together and squeezed reassuringly. "I'm sorry, Harry. I didn't say that to hurt you. I didn't mean it like that." Harry nodded, but still didn't understand. "Her father was determined that she should marry a dreadful second cousin that she despised. She's very clever, very resourceful, the wife I would have wanted had I wanted a wife. Apparently it didn't take a lot of investigating to figure out I had secrets. She offered me a deal and I took it. I would save her from her cousin and she would save me from myself." Jaejoong could tell by the look on Harry's face that he still didn't fully understand. That he couldn't comprehend staying married to someone, knowing they were in love with someone else. "You asked me once if I loved her. I didn't at the time, didn't think I ever would. I do now, but not the way I love you, Harry. She's my friend. She knows everything." "But if you leave her... I still don't know how your aristocratic social circles work, but won't she be" "Humiliated? That her husband of twelve years has turned out to be gay and in love with the Saviour of the World?" Harry snorted. "Yeah, I guess." "She couldn't care less. She's a Kim now. She will always be a Kim, no matter what I do or don't do. She knows how I feel about her and we have a son that we both love. That's enough for her. It always has been." Harry let it all sink in. This person who had been a part of Jaejoong's life, who had loved him, looked after him, had taken care of him when Harry had not. He was suddenly immensely grateful to this woman he had never met. This woman who had treasured Jaejoong in her own way, just as Harry treasured him, who had been better to Jaejoong than he, himself, had. "I don't deserve you," he whispered, not really intending for Jaejoong to hear. Jaejoong pulled Harry to him and snorted. "That may be true, Potter, but I'm afraid you're stuck with me now." Harry looked up at Jaejoong beaming. "Yes, I suppose I am."
TWELVE YEARS | 12
2010
Chapter 3: Twelve Years Later Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. All characters are over the age of 18. Thanks to Sesheta_66 for the wonderful beta job! If you read, please review! I would love to know what you think! Twelve Years Later Part 3 The Time for Truth
As Harry walked up to what had been his home for the last fourteen years, he thought about what he wanted to say, and how he wanted to say it. It was not a conversation he'd been looking forward to, but after spending a blissful few hours with Jaejoong, he realised it was long overdue. He should have done it years ago. The boys could have handled it, just as he knew Lily would be able to now. Assuming Ginny didn't kill him. He'd decided to Apparate a few blocks away and walk home, thinking it would give him a chance to clear his head and come up with an easy way to say what needed to be said. A little voice in the back of his mind kept telling him, 'If you believe there's an easy way to do this then you're a bigger fool than I'd thought.' Harry knew the voice was right. He was an arse and he knew that too. No use sugar-coating it. Ginny would hate him, the whole Weasley family would probably hate him. He only hoped that somehow his kids would forgive him. Saying goodbye to Jaejoong today had been more difficult than he'd anticipated. He'd wanted to stay there, in that little room, in Jaejoong's arms, forever. His heart fluttered just from thinking about it. That dusty storage room had been their oasis for so long. It was the first place they'd ever had sex, the place where he had declared his undying love, the place where they had planned their futures together. He never figured out how Jaejoong had always managed to turn it into heaven, but he always had. He couldn't help but laugh when he thought about how young they'd been, how happy they'd been. He didn't have a chance to hide his smile before Ginny tore the door open and glared at him. "Who is she?" The smile slid away and was replaced by confusion. "What? Who is who?" "Don't play stupid with me, Harry," Ginny demanded, standing in the doorway looking as though she were defending her home against Death Eaters. "I recognise the signs. The odd behaviour over the last few months, the moaning in your sleep, the sudden need to 'do something important' at the station today, and now you come home with that stupid, childish grin plastered on your face. I just want to know who she is, and then you can take your bags and find somewhere else to sleep."
TWELVE YEARS | 13
2010
"Well, can I at least come in and tell you, or would you prefer to have this conversation on the front stoop?" Her accusatory tone had bristled more than a few feathers. He knew she had every right to be angry, but damn it, he wasn't prepared for it yet. She stepped away from the door and stomped into the living room. Harry followed, determined to keep the conversation civil if it killed him. "So, you admit it then. You've been having an affair." Harry sat down on the sofa, dragging his fingers through his hair. "No, Ginny, not in the way that you think." "Not in the way that I think?" she mimicked incredulously. "There is no thinking to it, Harry. Either you are or you aren't." Harry looked her square in the face. "I'm still in love with the person that I was dating before you got pregnant. The person that I'd had the fight with that night." Ginny stumbled as if Harry had hit her. "You... you're still in love with her? After all this time?" Harry simply nodded. "But you haven't been... Harry, please tell me you haven't been involved with her the whole time we've been married." "No, Ginny, I haven't even seen them in twelve years, not until today. But I've never stopped loving them, and now I know they've never stopped loving me." "You never told me who you'd been seeing. Is this why? Because you still love her?" Harry took in a deep breath and prepared himself for what would probably be a string of well aimed hexes. "Partly, but mostly because it's not a her." Ginny sat down on the coffee table and put her head in her hands. The tears Harry had been waiting for started to flow. "God, Harry, I should have known. How did I not see it?" She looked up at him with a condemning glare. "It's Kim Jaejoong, isn't it?" Harry's surprise was obvious and he couldn't help but wonder how she'd figured that bit out. "Your dreams," she said in answer to his silent question. "You sometimes mumble his name in your sleep. I always thought you were dreaming about Hogwarts or the war. I'd never even considered ..." Harry knew he dreamed about Jaejoong. Had every night for as long as he could remember, but he'd never known he'd said his name out loud. Ginny understood the silence to be an omission of guilt.
TWELVE YEARS | 14
2010
Harry stood silently and walked to the door where Ginny had packed his bags. Part of him wanted to thank her for saving him the trouble. He paused before turning to face her. "I'm sorry, Ginny. I wish things could have been different." "Things could have been different, Harry, very different." "No, they couldn't have been. He's a part of me; I couldn't let him go." "If I had known, if I... do you realise how many lives this will affect, Harry? Do you?" She was screeching now, the tears gone, replaced by what Harry could only suspect was hatred. "I do, Ginny, but most importantly, the children. I don't want this to hurt them any more than it has to." He was begging and he knew it. But if that's what it took, he would grovel. "I've set up an appointment with Headmaster McGonagall on Tuesday to tell the boys. I'd like to tell Lily myself too, if you don't mind." "I can't talk about this right now... just go." "We'll need to talk about it, Ginny. I know you think I'm worse than Voldemort right now and I don't blame you, but we have to put those feelings aside and do what's best for the kids." Ginny's mouth opened as if to fling another scathing accusation, but she bit her lip instead. "You know that I would never do anything to intentionally hurt our children." Harry simply nodded, picked up his bags and Apparated. ~~~~~~~~~~ "Master Harry needs a drink," Kreacher said when Harry appeared at the door just past four o'clock. Harry smiled down at the aged house-elf and nodded. "Yes, Kreacher, Master Harry does." He put the bags next to the door and followed Kreacher into the living room where a fire was blazing warmly and soothing music was playing. "And lunch. Master Harry should not be getting so busy he does not eat lunch. It is not healthy." Kreacher nudged him onto the sofa and pressed a Scotch into his hand. "It will get easier, Master Harry, Kreacher is hearing this before." His crackling voice reminded Harry of all the things Kreacher had suffered through in his life. Harry knew that it would, but he feared that some things would get much worse before they got better. He downed the Scotch and handed the glass back to waiting hands. "Thank you," he said quietly and grimaced when the elf smiled.
TWELVE YEARS | 15
2010
Harry had been preparing for this day for months, years it seemed. He had written a note of explanation to Ron and Hermione because he couldn't stand the thought of them hearing this from Ginny. There was still a real risk he would lose them both, even after everything they had been through, but at least they would hear his side of the story. After a lot of soul searching he had also written a letter of resignation to Kingsley Shacklebolt. He had no doubt that when his relationship with Jaejoong became public it would be a scandal of epic proportions. The last thing he wanted was for it to reflect poorly on the Ministry. He'd worked too hard rallying for an honest government to have his personal life ruin things for Kingsley now. Nodding, Harry reached into the side table drawer and pulled out a blank parchment. "Yes, but can you send this first?" He quickly scribbled a note to Jaejoong. It's done. I'm home. I miss you. Love, Harry.
Kreacher took the note and quickly busied himself with his task, leaving Harry to sort through his mixed emotions on his own. How could he feel so miserable and yet so euphoric? He was worried about the fall-out from his decision, but he was also more sure of himself than he had been the night he'd walked through the forest to face his death. Why had he told Jaejoong seven o'clock? He'd thought the talk with Ginny would take much longer than an hour. He needed Jaejoong, needed to hold him, to be held by him, needed to hear him say everything would be okay. Kreacher brought in a small tray of sandwiches and insisted Harry eat something but, as much as he tried, he only manage to nibble them a bit. He was truly sorry that he'd hurt Ginny and he could only imagine what the rest of the Weasley family would say when they found out, which was probably happening at this very moment. Ginny was never more than a Floo call away from her mum. He hardly noticed the beautiful owl that, upon being ignored, swooped down angrily and dropped a long thick box next to him with a thud. Harry, thankful for the distraction, yet hoping Ginny had not sent him something that would explode, opened the box carefully. He smiled at the contents, letting it wipe away his worries. He picked up the note which was written in meticulously neat handwriting.
TWELVE YEARS | 16
2010
The owl looked exhausted. It must have been circling for a while, waiting for Harry to get home. Harry grinned and wondered if Jaejoong had remembered the way they used to send message to each other. He pulled out his wand and pointed it at the letter, whispering, "Commonstro." More words shimmered onto the page. Yes, you daft man, I've just arrived home. I've been away from you for less than an hour but I really don't care; it's too long. If you're reading this then I guess you haven't forgotten all of our secrets. That's a good sign, don't you think?
Smiling what must have been the goofiest grin imaginable, he put down the note and took the roses carefully from their box. He buried his face in them and let the fragrance take him back to a day long ago where two boys sat in a rose garden, awkwardly apologising for a lifetime of anger and mistrust. He closed his eyes and remembered the day as if it were yesterday. When he arrived at Jaejoong Manor unannounced, a month after the defeat of Voldemort, he expected to drop Jaejoong's wand off at the door and be on his way. He hadn't expected a cheerful house-elf to lead him down a winding path to a garden, or to see Jaejoong sitting on a bench, looking lost and alone, staring blindly out at the sea of red blooms that surrounded him. He was so surprised by the forlorn expression on Jaejoong's face that he almost forgot why he was there and at that moment he made an unconscious decision that would forever change him. He sat down quietly next to Jaejoong and handed him the hawthorn wand. "I believe this belongs to you. Thank you for..." Harry wasn't sure exactly what he was thanking Jaejoong for. For being unable to kill Dumbledore? For not turning them over to Voldemort when he'd had the chance? For trying to stop Crabbe from killing him? For being an unwitting puppet in the game of fate that had ruled both of their lives? It could have been any of those, or perhaps it was all of them. Jaejoong took the wand, staring at Harry with an expression of both surprise and gratitude. "Thank you," he said quietly as he took the wand. Then quite unexpectedly added, "Thank you for saving me from the Fiendfyre. You... you didn't have to come back. I probably wouldn't have." Something about the honesty of the admission made Harry smile. "Well, I figure it makes us even since I almost killed you with Sectumsempra in sixth year." Jaejoong grinned and it was as if they had found a new place in each other's lives. As if this was a new competition, one that perhaps, they both might be able to win. "I suppose I should apologise for breaking your nose on the Hogwarts Express then, since we appear to be participating in an exercise to clear our consciences." They both laughed. Somehow these things all seemed so insignificant given what they had both been through in the last year. They had both seen more than their almost eighteen years should have allowed. They had both changed, had somehow grown up when no one was looking.
TWELVE YEARS | 17
2010
By the time the sun had set that day, they had reached an understanding, a tentative peace. He hadn't expected the truce to eventually turn into friendship, nor had he dreamt that the friendship would lead to the love of his life... "They're meant to be put in water and admired, not inhaled." Harry pulled the roses away and opened his eyes to see Jaejoong leaning casually against the door-frame, smirking. "You're early," Harry said, letting a smile split his face. Jaejoong waved Harry's note in the air. "I didn't think you'd mind. Thought you might enjoy some company that didn't hoot, squawk, or have thorns." Harry snickered. "I've heard you hoot and squawk and you definitely have thorns." Jaejoong grinned. "You have a point there." A brief moment passed as they both realised, simultaneously, that this was really happening. Outside the walls of closeted rooms and well-hidden gardens. Out in the open for everyone to see and scrutinize. It was something that should have happened a long time ago. "Thanks for the roses," Harry began hesitantly. "They..." "Brought back memories?" Jaejoong asked as he pushed away from the wall and joined Harry on the sofa. "I had hoped they would." Harry leaned into him instinctively. "Yeah, they did. And... thanks for coming early. I needed this." I needed you. Jaejoong held Harry tightly in his arms. He couldn't even imagine what Harry was going through, but he wouldn't let him go through it alone. "So how did Ginny take it?" he asked softly, taking care to empty his voice of all the hatred he had for the witch. Harry snorted. "As well as could be expected, I guess." He looked up at Jaejoong, pleading. "Can we not talk about her right now? I just want... I don't know what I want, but I don't want to think about her, or the Weasleys, or work, or... I just want to think about you, Jaejoong. Not all the time that we've missed out on, but... I want to start making up for it, for my mistakes, for" Jaejoong kissed Harry before he could finish, his lips as soft and gentle as the rose petals. "You don't have anything else to make up for, Harry. The fight was as much my fault as it was yours, more so, really. I was jealous when I had no reason to be. I accused you of things you would never have dreamt of doing had I not practically dared you to. I herded you into her arms just as surely as if I'd pushed you there myself and I'm sorry.
TWELVE YEARS | 18
2010
Harry buried his face in Jaejoong's chest and fought back tears of relief. He couldn't believe that Jaejoong had really forgiven him. That he was granting him some sort of absolution from the mental hell he'd placed himself in. He'd been so angry at Jaejoong that night, so blinded with rage that he hadn't cared that he was too drunk to even stay on his own chair. He didn't remember going home with Ginny. He didn't remember anything about the night James was conceived. But none of it was Jaejoong's fault. If he'd only stayed and talked things through with Jaejoong, if he hadn't been so determined to hide their relationship in the first place, if he hadn't stormed out and found the nearest pub like an immature idiot, then none of it would have happened. Jaejoong may have given him a slight nudge, but he had jumped off the cliff all by himself. "It's not important right now, Harry. The time will come when we will have to talk about that night, about the twelve years we've been apart, about the two I spent watching you play the happily married family man while I waited in a dusty storage room. There will be all kinds of feelings to sort through, but now is not the time. Right now all that matters is that I love you and you love me. I want you to be happy, Harry, and I will do whatever it takes to accomplish that." It felt so good to be close to Jaejoong, to be able to touch him, to hear him say all the things he had said so many times in Harry's dreams. "You don't have to do anything. You're here, that's all I need." Before Harry knew what he was doing he was kissing Jaejoong again, pouring his emotions, his gratitude, his love into the kiss that he'd waited years for. "Do you know how many times I've dreamt of this? Of being able to touch you?" Jaejoong was leaning back on the sofa, pulling Harry on top of him, wrapping his arms around him and all Harry could think about was how lucky he was to be given a second chance. Gentle fingers caressed his face and threaded through his hair, warm lips placed feather-light kisses along his cheek and down his neck. "Tell me, Harry," Jaejoong whispered as he ran his tongue along the outside of Harry's ear. "How much did you dream of me?" he asked, nipping at an earlobe while his hands tugged at Harry's shirt and wiggled their way underneath it. "I want to hear how thoughts of me kept you awake at night." "Fuck, Jaejoong," Harry whimpered. "Every night. Every night I thought of your eyes staring into my soul, your lips and fingertips touching me, of..." He stumbled over his words when Jaejoong found his nipple and pinched it ever so lightly. His heart was racing with desire like he'd never known. This was far better than any dream he'd ever had. Jaejoong's simple touch was more erotic than his wildest fantasies had ever been. Jaejoong paused long enough to pull Harry's shirt over his head and then his lips found their way back to Harry's waiting skin. "God, Jaejoong, you know you own me, don't you? That you've always owned me."
TWELVE YEARS | 19
2010
"Yes, Harry, I know, but I like to hear you say it." Jaejoong claimed Harry's nipple with his mouth, nipping gently until Harry squirmed his way into a position where he sat straddling Jaejoong, pressing into him until he could feel how aroused the other man was, until he could think of nothing else but Jaejoong's touch and taste. He wanted to give Jaejoong everything. Everything he'd been unable to give him in the last twelve years. He deserved so much more, so much more than Harry could give, than Harry was, and he thanked every star in the sky that Jaejoong thought it was enough. "I'll say it as often as you want," Harry whispered, moaning into Jaejoong's mouth, drowning in his touch as Jaejoong unbuttoned his trousers and snaked his fingers inside. "Tell me this is mine, Harry. That I'll never have to share it, ever again." Jaejoong's other hand was tugging at Harry's trousers and he barely had the sense of mind left to lift himself up to allow Jaejoong to pull them down. "Yours, Jaejoong, I've always been... ngh..." Harry's words were lost in the sensation of Jaejoong's fingers as they reached behind him and touched that part of him that no one but Jaejoong had ever touched. He didn't hear the whispered incantation that slicked his insides because he was too lost in the feel of warm fingers teasing him, exploring him, reacquainting themselves with the part of him that had only ever belonged to Jaejoong. Harry didn't hear himself begging, didn't realise he was leaning forward and pushing his arse out wantonly so Jaejoong could push in deeper, didn't know he was biting into Jaejoong's shoulder hard enough to bring blood until he heard Jaejoong moan. "Merlin, I want you, Harry," Jaejoong mumbled. "More than I've ever wanted anything." The words roused Harry from whatever heavenly place he'd drifted off to and he pulled back from Jaejoong to look into his eyes, dark and fiery with desire. Harry couldn't help that his eyes fluttered closed when Jaejoong found the spot that would make him scream. Luckily he remembered how to unfasten trousers with his eyes closed, and his fingers seemed to work all on their own. Jaejoong lifted up only enough to get them to his thighs before his fingers retreated and Harry felt his body being manoeuvred so fingers could be replaced by the tip of Jaejoong's slick cock. "Please," Harry begged and pushed down to impale himself onto Jaejoong, whose fingers were now digging painfully into Harry's hips, steadying him as his pace turned almost frantic. Harry felt as though they were trying to make up for all those years, all the nights they should have been together. It was over far sooner than Harry wanted it to be, but he couldn't make it last any longer. Jaejoong felt too good inside of him, filling him, kissing him, whispering promises that Harry knew he would keep and apologies for things that weren't his fault. It was too perfect, too spectacular to last any longer than it did. Harry collapsed in Jaejoong's arms, not caring that he was shivering from the cool air that was drying his sweaty body, not caring that there was a sticky mess between them and dripping down his legs, not caring that Kreacher could pop in at any minute. The only things he cared about
TWELVE YEARS | 20
2010
were the arms that held him, the heartbeat slowing inside the chest that he was pressed against, and the warm breath that moved his hair as it slowed from a pant. Tomorrow would come and there would be things to deal with, but tonight was theirs and Harry wouldn't let anything change that.
Chapter 4: Twelve Years Later Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. All characters are over the age of 18. Thanks to Sesheta_66 for the wonderful beta job! If you read, please review! I would love to know what you think! Twelve Years Later Part 4 - Fathers and Friends
Jaejoong continued to hold Harry, basking in their closeness, in how amazingly familiar Harry's body was, even after all this time. Many things had changed over the last twelve years, but this feeling, this need, this hunger to touch Harry and to hold him, had not. It was almost as though time had stood still and waited for them to catch up. He glanced down at Harry, who was now half asleep, his face nuzzled into a pillow on Jaejoong's lap and his naked body sprawled out on the sofa like an acrobat. The man was perfect. Not perfect in a falsely beautiful way or an 'I can do no wrong' way. He was perfect in his realness, in the way he made you want to be around him, want to make him happy. When Harry stirred and nuzzled closer, Jaejoong felt as though he was holding heaven in his arms. And when the large black and white owl flew in through the window and rested confidently on the back of the sofa, reminding Jaejoong of the other love of his life, he couldn't help but smile. "Well, hello, Nipal. I didn't expect to see you until tomorrow." The owl hooted and looked toward the window where a young snowy owl swooped down and perched next to him. Jaejoong laughed as the owls nipped at each other. "Have you made a new friend there, boy?" he asked, leaning back to take the note from the owl's leg.
TWELVE YEARS | 21
2010
Good evening Father, I know I shouldn't be writing so soon, but I already need your advice. Grandfather insisted I write him tomorrow to tell him all about the new students in Slytherin House and the new friends I've made. Well, I've met a boy that I really like, but I don't think Grandfather will approve of him. He's amazingly funny and clever and ever so nice to talk to, but I'm sure Grandfather would dislike him because of his parentage. I know you've always told me that, even though blood is important, it's not always the most important thing, and that I should use my brain to dictate who is worthy of my friendship. Well, Father, I think this boy is. So, is it alright if I keep it a secret from Grandfather? Sungwoong
"Is he already missing the use of his own personal house-elf?" Harry teased as he sat up and stretched, kissing Jaejoong lightly before reaching for Albus' owl to untie the note attached to his leg. Jaejoong shoved him playfully. "He's not nearly as spoiled as I was, you prat. Apparently he's made a new friend that my father won't approve of." He smirked as he continued, "He's asking for my permission to lie." Harry sniggered as he unrolled his own parchment. "I didn't know Kims needed permission for that," he said, ducking away from another shove. Halfway through reading the note Harry glanced up at Jaejoong and smirked. "What? No, don't tell me. He's already downed his own Troll and made the Quidditch team." Harry grinned, leaning in to steal another kiss. "No," he whispered in Jaejoong's ear, "but I think Sungwoong is probably right; Junki definitely won't approve of his new best friend." Jaejoong's forehead crinkled in confusion. Harry glanced back to the note and began to read aloud. Dad, The most brilliant thing ever has happened! It's just like the story you and Uncle Ron tell about the day you met on the Hogwarts Express. I met my best friend today, Dad, and I know you will love him. I had ducked into a cabin to get away from James, who was teasing me again about being in Slytherin, and Sungwoong - that's his name, strange isn't it? He said it was some ancient relative of his. Anyway, Sungwoong was in the compartment already and heard James teasing me. He stood up and stared James straight in the face and said, "So what if he is in Slytherin? Would it really cause you to be that jealous?" Dad, I almost wet myself from laughing at the look on James' face. He couldn't believe a first year would have the gall to stand up to him that way. It was amazing! James just looked at us oddly before turning to leave. Then
TWELVE YEARS | 22
2010
Sungwoong - I really don't like his name. I wonder if he would be mad if I called him Blondie. Somehow I think he probably would, but anyway, we started talking and guess what! He has the same middle name as me! Even said he was named after the same Professor that I was. Isn't that just the coolest thing? Oh and guess what else. The sorting hat did try to put me in Slytherin and I didn't argue, because, well, you said not all Slytherins are bad and Sungwoong is in Slytherin so that must really be true, right? I bet we'll be friends forever, just like you and Uncle Ron. Gotta go now, Dad. Blondie's done with his letter and he said he'd show me some cool spells his dad taught him. Love you, Al
Both men stared at each other for a moment, the memory of a different meeting on the Hogwarts Express heavy in the air. "So," Jaejoong said, a little uneasy, "I guess our sons are already making better decisions than we did at their age." Harry picked up Jaejoong's hand and kissed it gently. "Not better, Jaejoong, just different. Everything was different then. We both had a lot of growing up to do before we could be friends." Jaejoong still had a sad, distant look of regret in his eyes that seemed to pierce Harry's soul. "Besides, if we'd been friends since we were eleven you would have been like a brother to me, like Ron. We never would have..." At the sight of Harry's slight blush Jaejoong grinned and graced Harry with a perfect Jaejoong arched brow. "Are you saying you could have resisted my charms if we'd grown up as friends?" Laughing, Harry shook his head. "No, probably not. I'm surprised it took me as long as it did to figure out what a hot little number you were." "I am not a hot little number!" Jaejoong sniggered. "Okay, maybe I am, but I'm not surprised it took you so long. You were a little dense back then." Harry rolled his eyes and tried to look annoyed, but he was sure his happiness had never shown more clearly. The banter between them felt so familiar, so reassuring, that he couldn't feel troubled over this newest development. In fact, the idea of their sons becoming friends shouldn't come as such a surprise. He had suspected the Sorting Hat would try to place Albus in Slytherin, but he'd honestly thought the boy would talk his way out of it he was just Slytherin enough to be able to do it. "So how do you feel about your son being a Slytherin?" Harry shrugged. "I'm actually kind of glad. I know Al will fit in there, probably more so than he would have in Gryffindor. It'll be especially good for him to be out of his brother's shadow for a change. I mean, James is a great kid, but he can be a little overbearing at times. Besides, Neville
TWELVE YEARS | 23
2010
says the Slytherin reputation of being a snake pit has definitely waned over the last twenty years." "It has, but it's still... well, it's still a bastion of pureblood aristocracy. It might be tough on him until he proves himself." "Yeah, well, I suppose it won't hurt that his best friend is destined to be the next Prince of Slytherin, eh?" Harry teased. "Besides, maybe they can... I don't know, help each other deal with this." "This?" "You know, us. Their parents getting divorced, their fathers being together, the whole gay thing, all of it. It's a lot to throw at them all at once. I was an idiot to think it would be easier after they left for Hogwarts. This would have been easier if I'd done it from the very beginning." "But then you wouldn't have Albus or Lily, and I wouldn't have Sungwoong." "Yeah, I know, I just..." "Harry, I won't pretend those years were easy, but I wouldn't trade anything for my son. Not even that, not even you." It was difficult to admit, but it was true. As much as he'd longed to be with Harry, every time he looked at this son, a part of him was glad things had happened as they had. Sungwoong hadn't made losing Harry hurt any less, but he had certainly made it easier to live with. "What if we lose them, Jaejoong? What if" "We won't. They'll be fine, Harry. I know they will. Just..." Harry looked away but Jaejoong was having none of it. He took the man's face in his hands so he was forced to look at him. "Just trust me, Harry. Trust them. They'll be fine." Harry stared into those steel grey eyes, wanting to believe him, needing to believe him, but he had never been as confident as Jaejoong. "How can you be so sure?" "Because they're a part of us, Harry. They are our sons and at the very least they'll recognise how much we love them. They'll have to adjust and they may be angry, but they'll be okay, and eventually they'll see, just like everyone else, that we belong together." Jaejoong pulled him back into an embrace and Harry melted into him as if they could somehow become one body. "When are you going to tell them?" "I have a meeting scheduled at Hogwarts on Tuesday. What about you? When were you planning on telling Sungwoong?"
TWELVE YEARS | 24
2010
"I don't know, Harry. I doubt Sungwoong will be surprised that Marsalis and I are getting a divorce or, for that matter, that I'm involved with another man. We've never hidden the fact our marriage is one of convenience and he knows that I'm gay. We've had that father-son talk more times than I care to count. But I honestly don't know how he'll take the news that his father's shagging Harry Potter." Jaejoong smirked. "If he's a good little Slytherin, he'll see it as a distinct advantage in House politics." Jaejoong laughed, but Harry didn't even grin. "Harry, you know your sons better than anyone. What do you think they'll do?" Harry was more worried about James than Albus. The boy reminded him so much of Sirius that sometimes Harry wondered if he and his Godfather hadn't somehow been related. He loved James, loved his spirit and his gusto for life, but with James things were all or nothing. You either liked something or you didn't, loved someone or hated them; there was never any middle ground. He couldn't see all of the subtleties of life that Albus seemed to embrace and almost thrive on. When he really thought about it though, he knew almost exactly how they would respond. "Albus will accept the change as an unfortunate stumbling block and figure out a way around it. James will see it as boulder blocking the road and try to blast his way through." "Well, there you go," Jaejoong said with a chuckle. "You just summed up the differences between a Slytherin and a Gryffindor in two easy sentences." Harry looked at Jaejoong and smiled. "Thank you. You always knew the right things to say." Jaejoong snorted. "I wouldn't say always, there were definitely times..." Laughing, Harry nodded his agreement. "Yeah, I guess I do remember a few... hundred times." "Yeah, yeah, but you loved me anyway." "Love you, Jaejoong," Harry corrected seriously, tracing the contour of Jaejoong's face with a single finger. "I love you. Don't ever use that phrase in past tense." Jaejoong smiled that perfect smile that had never failed to make Harry's heart do a flip-flop. "No, Harry, you're right, I won't." "Good. Now, I think we have letters to write." As Harry leaned over to retrieve several sheets of parchment and quills he chuckled. "I can honestly say I have never written a letter to any of my children while completely nude." "Get used to it," Jaejoong said with a cheeky grin. "You'll be writing a lot of letters in the next few years, and I can guarantee you'll be naked an absolutely appalling amount of time in the future. They're bound to coincide."
TWELVE YEARS | 25
2010
They both chuckled as they put the pieces of parchment side by side on the coffee table and began to pen their responses to their sons. Sungwoong, Use your own good judgement as to what to tell your Grandfather. I will not give you permission to lie. I will however, tell you that I quite agree with you. Grandfather will be very displeased when he finds out you have befriended a Potter. I, on the other hand, think you have made an excellent choice. Your mother and I will be coming to visit with you next week. We have a few important matters to discuss. Perhaps we could meet your new friend while we're there. With love, Father
Albus, I'm very proud of you for trusting your instincts and taking your own path. I've always told you that if you follow your heart, it won't lead you astray. It's advice that I'm trying especially hard to listen to myself. Your friend sounds very nice. If you like him that much, I'm sure I will too. Another word of fatherly advice though, if I may: I definitely wouldn't call him Blondie. I can't imagine he'd like that. I miss you son and I'll talk to you soon. Love always, Dad
As Harry finished his letter he noticed Jaejoong looking over his shoulder, smirking. "Good advice about the Blondie bit. I don't think I could go out in public if my son had a nickname like that." "Yeah, well, I figured if he was anything like my dragon" "Potter, if you ever call me that again" Jaejoong was climbing on top of Harry, holding his arms to the sofa and giving him his most menacing stare. It didn't seem to be affecting Harry in the least though, because he continued to giggle like a twelve-year-old. Jaejoong finally let himself collapse into a heap on top of Harry and join in his laughter. "It was one night, okay. I was drunk. You got me drunk, as I recall. I cannot be held responsible for what I want to be called when I'm both drunk and in the throes of passion. Besides," Jaejoong paused, then finished his sentence shyly, "it's fucking sexy when you say it."
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"I knew it!" Harry almost shouted in triumph. "I knew you liked it and were just too damn proud to admit it." "I wasn't too proud, I was... I was embarrassed if you must know. I'd never... no one had ever... fuck! I'd never let anyone call me a silly pet name before, not even my mother, and I was absolutely mortified the next morning when I remembered, not only did I let you call me that, but I asked you to." Harry was still laughing when he threaded his fingers into Jaejoong's hair. "Jaejoong, you know I would call you God if you wanted me to, but I did like calling you my dragon." Jaejoong buried his face into Harry's neck and mumbled, almost incoherently, "I liked it too." "What if I promise to never use it around anyone else?" Harry asked, brushing Jaejoong's hair away from his ear and kissing it softly, letting his breath whisper across the dampness left behind. "Then can I call you my dragon?" he whispered. He felt Jaejoong's breathing increase, felt more than heard the tiny whimper that escaped from his lips. He nibbled his way down from Jaejoong's ear to the soft skin of his neck, letting his fingertips glide down Jaejoong's back until he felt a tremor run through the warm body on top of him. It felt so good that Harry couldn't imagine ever letting go. "Stay with me, my dragon," he whispered and before he could say any more his mouth was busied by Jaejoong's tongue, searching out all the secret places it had known in times past and it was enough to just hold Jaejoong in his arms and kiss him. If he could only stay here and kiss Jaejoong long enough, then perhaps tomorrow would never come. When Jaejoong finally pulled away Harry was surprised to see tears in his eyes. "Jaejoong, are you" Jaejoong shook his head, biting his lip as he wiped away the tears that trickled down his cheeks. "I'm not sad, Harry, I'm... I'm happy, almost too happy, it's just" "I'm not going to fuck it up this time, Jaejoong. I swear to you, I won't." "I know. It's just... too much, after so long, and I think..." Jaejoong was trying furiously to brush away the tears, but they were falling too fast and there were too many of them. Harry pulled Jaejoong to him and kissed him again, letting the flood of tears fall like drops of rain and form a river down his chest. They were the same tears of relief and joy that he'd shed the night before when he'd got Jaejoong's letter and they needed to come out, to wash away some of the pain he had caused. He held Jaejoong's trembling body, wishing he could undo the hurt, erase the last fourteen years from their memories, but he knew, in reality, neither of them would want that. Finally Jaejoong calmed and when he looked at Harry there was something in his eyes that Harry thought he would never see again. Faith. "Will you move in with me?" Harry hadn't meant to just blurt it out, but he needed Jaejoong to stay. They had never talked about it, not even before, but more than anything, Harry wanted
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Jaejoong next to him every morning when he woke up. Jaejoong smirked and wiped the few remaining tears from his cheek. "Call Kreacher. No, wait." Jaejoong climbed out of Harry's lap and grabbed a blanket from a nearby chair, throwing it over their nude bodies. "Now call Kreacher." Harry looked at him curiously, but did as he was asked and the little elf scurried into the room. "Yes, Master Harry, sir?" Jaejoong grinned at Harry and asked the elf, "Are my bags put away yet?" "Oh, yes, Mr Jaejoong. In Master Harry's room as you asked." With a grinning glance at Harry, Jaejoong dismissed the elf. Harry pulled Jaejoong closer under the covers and smiled. "You didn't even wait to be invited?" Jaejoong shrugged. "Didn't you say something earlier about how Kim Jaejoong always gets what he wants? Well this is what I want." Harry felt the jubilation from earlier bubble up in his chest. His life was about to take a drastic turn, and as difficult as these changes were going to be, there was one constant that would forever be by his side. Love. ~TBC~ Back to Index Chapter 5: Twelve Years Later Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. All characters are over the age of 18. Thanks to Sesheta_66 for the wonderful beta job! And to Georgia Hawkins for the brilliant britpick! If you read, please review! I would love to know what you think! Twelve Years Later Part 5 To Dream a Dream
In the fog of early morning, it took Harry a few seconds to realise the arms wrapped around him and the lips trailing kisses along the back of his neck weren't unwelcomed. His heart skipped a beat when he remembered that it would be Jaejoong, not Ginny, who would be in his bed every morning for the rest of his life. He closed his eyes again and let himself enjoy the feel of
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Jaejoong's fingers as they whispered teasingly up and down his chest. It was the closest thing to perfection he could ever imagine. "I know you're awake," Jaejoong whispered against his neck as lips roamed ever closer to his own. "I know you were dreaming about this." The hitch in Harry's breathing was completely involuntary. "I've always dreamt about this, but it's always disappeared when I opened my eyes." Harry felt the bed dip and Jaejoong's lips were on his. Soft, warm, teasing, and Harry could feel the love seeping into his skin from the touch. "Does that feel like a dream?" Rolling onto his back Harry wrapped Jaejoong in his arms, trying to encase them in their own little bubble so the world couldn't touch them. "Yes. It feels like the most magnificent dream ever." Jaejoong chuckled. "Would you rather I be a dream, Harry?" "God, no. I'd give up dreaming for good if it meant you'd wake me up like this every morning for all eternity." "You might change your mind. I can be awfully demanding." The moan that escaped when Jaejoong's hand slipped under the waist band of his pyjamas was so needy that Harry was almost embarrassed. "Demand anything you want. I'll gladly give it as long as you don't stop what you're doing." Jaejoong climbed gracefully between Harry's outstretched legs. "I couldn't stop even if I wanted to. You're an addiction. The more I get of you, the more I seem to want." Harry opened his eyes and looked up at the man that he'd loved for half of his life. Visions of their future together paraded through his mind. Mornings waking up with blond hair draped across his chest, picnics in the park, birthday parties with laughing children, Christmases surrounded by friends and family, dinners spent talking about mundane things, evenings spent making love by the fire, nights spent falling asleep in his arms. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out what he'd done to deserve this kind of happiness. "Stop thinking, Harry. The time for thinking will come later. Close your eyes and just feel." Harry did as he was told. He closed his eyes and let Jaejoong take him to the most glorious place. A place where the only colours were the pale ivory of Jaejoong's skin and the crystal grey of his eyes, where the only things that he could feel were the soft wisps of Jaejoong's hair and the gentle brush of his lips. Where the strong strokes of Jaejoong's hand took him closer to heaven than he'd ever thought he could get. Where the only sounds were softly spoken words, lulling him back to sleep with a promise that Jaejoong would still be there when he opened his eyes again.
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It was well past ten when Harry finally did open his eyes again and Jaejoong was grinning like a cat that had just fallen into a vat of cream. "What?" Harry asked, wiping the sleep from his eyes and draping an arm over Jaejoong's bare chest. "Nothing," Jaejoong said innocently, but the grin didn't fade. Harry buried his face into the bed and covered his head with a pillow. "You're making fun of me." "I'm not. Honestly, Harry, I'm not." Jaejoong leaned over to kiss Harry on the shoulder. "I've just never ... I don't think I've ever seen you as relaxed as you were earlier, so completely uninhibited. It was ... nice." Harry uncovered his head and peeked out from his pillow. "It was nice." Jaejoong leaned over and kissed Harry on the top of the head. "I just said that, didn't I? Now up you get. Kreacher was just in here to say that breakfast was almost ready, and he said if you don't eat, he'll be serving us our meals in bed." Harry laughed. "Kreacher worries about me." "So do I, but I don't cherish the thought of waking up every morning with a house-elf staring at me." "Okay, okay. I'll eat," Harry said as he sat up and reached for his glasses. "Good. So what do you want to do today?" "I suppose staying in bed all day isn't an option?" Harry asked, grinning mischievously. Jaejoong climbed out of bed and pulled all the covers with him. "No. It's most definitely not." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Breakfast looks lovely, Kreacher. Thank you," Jaejoong said politely, trying hard not to laugh at the enormous amount of eggs, fried tomatoes, kippers and bacon that the little elf had piled onto Harry's plate. Harry looked at him in disbelief and merely shook his head. Once the elf had left the room, Harry threw his napkin at Jaejoong's head. "You could help me out a bit here instead of encouraging him." Jaejoong chuckled. "Well, he's quite right; you are looking a bit undernourished."
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Harry glared at his boyfriend. If he didn't love him so damn much he would've hexed him. "Fine, but I hope you still find me sexy when I look like Horace Slughorn." Jaejoong's smile faltered. "You know I'd love you no matter what, but ... well, here; I'll take pity on you." He took out his wand and grinned, whispering something that made half of Harry's food disappear. Harry stared at his plate in surprise and then looked up at his boyfriend curiously. Jaejoong simply shrugged. "It's just a Vanishing Spell. All proper purebloods use them at dinner parties. It's impolite to leave food on your plate." Harry rolled his eyes, wondering why he'd never thought of doing it before. Jaejoong went on to describe other useful spells that "all proper purebloods used". It explained why Jaejoong had always looked so immaculate when Harry, try as he might, always looked so untidy. "Why, exactly, have you never shared these little bits of wisdom with me before?" "I like you the way you are, Harry. You wouldn't be the same without your unruly hair, your glasses that are always just a bit crooked, or your slightly wrinkled shirt. And if you did anything to get rid of that annoying, scratchy stubble I'd have to pack my bags and leave." "So all those times when you used to tease me about how uncouth I was" "You know how much I like to tease you. It doesn't mean I dislike any of those things." Harry took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "You're incorrigible; you know that, don't you?" Jaejoong pushed his chair from the table and tugged Harry into the living room, pushing him gently onto the sofa and curling up next to him. "Yes, I know I am. But you love me anyway, right?" Harry smiled at him and kissed him softly. "I couldn't love you more if you were a saint." Jaejoong snorted. "You'd hate it if I were a saint. I don't think they're allowed to give head." The sound of their laughter was interrupted by a loud and incessant knocking. Harry had no idea who it could be since he hadn't given his address to anyone. He immediately thought of the kids and panic surged through him as he rushed to the door and flung it open. "What the hell? Ron, how on earth" "Harry, we're Aurors. Did you honestly think that just because the Floo's not hooked up I wouldn't be able to find you?" "Ron, please, this is not the time to"
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"Bloody hell it's not, Harry. You're my best mate and I'm not losing you over this. You're not going to send me a fucking note that says you'll understand if I never talk to you again, because damn it, Harry, you're family, all right? I can't even believe you would try explaining something like this to me in a note." Ron flexed his fingers out in front of him like he was preparing to choke someone, then sighed heavily and let them drop to his side. "Fuck, I take that back. This is just like something you would do." "Ron, I just didn't" "I know, you didn't want me to lose my temper and say something I would regret. I know. Now, can I come in please?" "I really don't think now is a good time." "I don't care if he's here. Actually, I'm glad he is because it'll save me the trouble of saying this twice." Ron pushed past Harry into the living room. Harry caught up with Ron and grabbed his arm, saying in a voice too low for Jaejoong to hear, "Ron, you know I love you like a brother, but if you do, or say, anything to hurt him, you will pay dearly for it." Ron looked down at his arm and laughed. "Harry, I'm not stupid, okay? If this thing's lasted through four kids, two marriages and well, I guess longer than fourteen years, then it's obviously the real thing, yeah?" "Yeah." "Fine, then why are you looking at me like I've suddenly turned into a garden gnome?" "Because I" "Expected me to say fuck twenty-six years of friendship just because you're in love with a git?" "Yeah." "Well, I'm not. That's not why I'm here." "Then why are you here?" Ron rubbed the back of his neck and sighed the same way he did when he talked to his kids. "Because I've been a shit friend and I needed to apologise. To both of you." Harry's jaw dropped. "What do you mean?" "Look, Harry, I ... shit, can I at least sit down first?"
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Harry motioned for Ron to go ahead and returned to the sofa where Jaejoong was watching the commotion with eagle eyes. To anyone else, he looked casual and confident, but Harry could tell by the tension in his jaw that he was prepared to hex first and ask questions later. "Hermione had suspected that you and Jaejoong were more than friends before you and Ginny ... you know. At the time, I think I was glad that she got pregnant. I had always thought you two belonged together, and after the shock wore off, you seemed really happy about the idea of being a dad." "I was happy about being a dad, Ron, I just..." Harry glanced at Jaejoong to make sure the statement didn't upset him. He didn't want to ever hurt Jaejoong again, but he didn't regret, would never regret, having his children. Jaejoong smiled and gave his hand a squeeze. "It's okay, Harry. You don't ever have to be sorry that you had children. I'm not." "I just didn't realise the price I would pay for it, that's all," Harry said quietly, not sure who he was saying it to - Ron, Jaejoong, or himself. "So what does this have to do with you not being a good friend?" "I thought you were happy, Harry, or I would have said something." "Said something about what?" "I don't know if this makes it easier for you or harder, but I figure it's time we started being honest with each other. Ginny has had at least two affairs since you've been married, maybe more." Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. He wasn't upset that she had been unfaithful. He was almost relieved by that. But what hit him like a stinging hex was that he'd wasted so many years trying to do the right thing, when in fact, it had just fucked everybody up. He'd tried to raise his kids in a loving, supportive home that was turning out to be nothing but a nest of lies. "Harry, I'm sorry. I should have told you, but she's my sister and she begged me not to. She said they were mistakes and that she loved you. And I really thought I was saving you from having your heart broken. I can honestly say I'm not thrilled that it's Jaejoong, but if he's what makes you happy then" "Weasley," Jaejoong said quietly, "I know this isn't what you would have ever wanted for Harry, but I will make him happy. I can promise you that." Ron snorted. "Yeah, that's the pisser isn't it? I already know you will, because before, when ... well, obviously I didn't believe it was you, but when you were together before, Harry was happy and I think we can both agree he deserves that, yeah?"
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Jaejoong nodded and an unspoken agreement passed between the two of them. As long as Harry was content, Ron would accept Jaejoong into their lives, but if he fucked up, there would be hell to pay. Jaejoong didn't mind because he had no intention of letting anything fuck this up. He glanced between the two men and determined that they needed some time alone. "I'm going to go get tea and let you two talk, okay?" Harry nodded and looked over at Ron, still completely taken aback by the turn of events. "So you're ... you and Hermione are okay with this?" "Merlin, Harry, it's not like you're asking us for permission or anything. You said in the letter that you love him, that you've loved him for half your life. What kind of friends would we be if we couldn't accept that?" "But ... but Ginny's your sister." "Yeah, and she was just as dishonest as you were. It's not like you didn't try, right? I mean, staying married for fourteen years to someone you don't love isn't exactly a walk in the park, now is it?" "I did try, Ron. I ... God, I really didn't mean to" "Sleep with her in the first place, I know, Harry. You've apologised for that six ways to Sunday already. You fucked up, she fucked up, and you had a beautiful son. What I can't figure out is why you had more kids. Not that I'm not glad you did, but, why?" "I ... do you really want to hear the whole story?" "Yeah, I really do. And I want us to stop fucking hiding things from each other. We're supposed to be friends, remember?" Harry nodded just as Jaejoong entered the room with tea. "Jaejoong, I'm sure you've been wondering about this too." "About what?" he asked as he made Harry's tea and handed him a cup. Ron watched as Harry took the tea and drank it without a second glance. "Harry? You never let anyone else make your tea." Harry's cheeks pinked. "Jaejoong's the only one who's ever been able to make it right." Ron snorted. "Bloody hell," he said, throwing his hands in the air. "There you have it, it must be true love." Harry and Jaejoong both laughed. Harry realised Ron was doing what he was so well known for at the Ministry, defusing what
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could be an awkward, possibly volatile situation, with his own unique kind of humour. He'd never appreciated Ron more in his entire life. "Merlin's balls, I had no idea you knew how to laugh, Jaejoong." Jaejoong's smile became a smirk. He wrapped his arms around Harry and kissed him tenderly, then glanced back up at Ron with an arched brow. "Weasley, I'm afraid I do many things that you have no idea about." "You'll have to try a lot harder than that to shock me, Jaejoong," Ron said with a grin. "Harry, you really love this git?" Harry snuggled closer into Jaejoong's arms. It felt weird doing it with Ron around, with anyone around, really. They had hidden it so well for so long it almost felt wrong to share it with anyone else. But Ron was his friend, a true friend, and if there was anyone he could share it with, it should be him. "Yeah, Ron, I really do." "All right then, mate. I guess I'll have to put up with him then. So, you were saying ... three children?" "I ... Jaejoong and I didn't split up when I got married. I thought ... I don't know what I thought. I was an idiot, but that's nothing new, right?" When he looked up with pleading eyes, Jaejoong knew exactly what he was asking and it amazed him that even after all this time, Harry still couldn't talk about the day he'd walked away. "I ended it about a year after James was born. I couldn't handle seeing him with them, with her, with a family. As you can imagine, I've never been very good at sharing my toys." Ron looked at Harry, understanding dawning in his eyes. "So that's why you were so bloody temperamental for all those months. Damn, I thought you were mental." "Yeah, well, I was for a while there," Harry said, rubbing his temples as if it hurt to even think about it. "The only thing that kept me sane was James, because I knew I was doing it for him and I would've done anything for him. Ginny had been talking about having another baby. She'd really wanted a girl and I thought maybe another kid might fill the void that losing Jaejoong had left. He took Jaejoong's hand and looked at him apologetically. "I didn't know she was pregnant when I went to see you that day at the Manor. She told me a few days later." Harry went on to tell Ron about the day he'd seen Jaejoong's wedding photo in The Daily Prophet. How he had visited Jaejoong and found out that his new wife was pregnant and about the promise he'd made. "Lily wasn't planned. By that point we hardly ever had sex. After what you've told me, I wonder if she's actually even mine." "I hate to say it, mate, but I've had my doubts about that too. The child looks nothing like you."
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"It doesn't really matter, biologically or not, she's mine now and I don't regret for a second that she was born. But I wasn't going to break another promise. I'm sorry, Jaejoong. I thought about going to see you to try to explain, to tell you about Lily before you found out another way, to tell you that I wouldn't back out of my promise, but quite honestly I was terrified of what you would say." "I did wonder. I can't tell you how many letters I wrote and threw away. I thought as long as I didn't hear from you, I could hold you to our agreement. I trusted you." Ron was shaking his head. "I'm glad you do. I don't know if I'll ever trust him again. He's a rather convincing liar." Jaejoong grinned. "Maybe the Sorting Hat had it right the first time." At Ron's questioning look Jaejoong smirked and looked at Harry with disbelief. "You didn't tell him that either?" "No, Jaejoong, I hadn't told anyone else that. Well, except for Al." Jaejoong laughed and kissed him on the forehead. "My poor little misunderstood Slytherin. Whatever will we do with you?" "Hello! I'm still here. Care to let me in on yet another little secret of yours?" "It's nothing really," Jaejoong said, barely containing the humour that was about to spill over at the sight of Harry looking so chastised. "Just that your brave Gryffindor friend here talked his way out of being put into Slytherin when he was eleven. Oh, and by the way, your little nephew's in Slytherin. Has he told you that yet?" "What! No way. Al?" Jaejoong laughed and Harry let his head fall into his hands. "I'm gonna live to regret that you two don't hate each other, aren't I?" Ron chuckled as he stood up. "Probably, mate. Just think of it as penance. I have to go and talk some sense into my baby sister. She went to see her solicitor this morning and fancies she'll make this as hard on you as possible. I think it's time someone told her it's already been hard enough." Harry and Jaejoong both stood and there was an awkward moment when the three men just stared at each other. "Bloody hell, you'd think a troll just walked into the room." Ron hugged Harry and shook Jaejoong's hand. "Mum's not too pleased either, but give her time. She'll come around. So will everyone else, I'd imagine. Won't be easy though."
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"Yeah, I know," Harry said solemnly. "Thanks, Ron. I" "Don't worry 'bout it. Just don't go springing anything else on us for a while, okay?" "Nothing left to spring. My life is now an open book." They said their goodbyes and Harry sat on the sofa, stretching his legs out and motioning for Jaejoong to join him. How many times had they lounged like this in their little hideaway at King's Cross? They used to waste the day away just talking and laughing about silly things that had never mattered to anyone. "He's not such a bad fellow, is he?" Jaejoong said reluctantly, leaning his head back against Harry's chest. "He's the best. I've always taken him for granted. I've taken a lot for granted, I guess." "It's okay to be human, Harry. You're lucky to have friends who'll stand by you like this. It'll make things easier for everyone, especially for the kids." Harry kissed Jaejoong on the top of the head, still amazed at how unbelievably soft his hair was. He'd missed so many things, but he'd especially missed this. The way they'd always been able to talk about things, laugh at each other's mistakes, feel each other's pain. He still wasn't sure how he'd ever lived without it. "Harry?" "Yeah?" "I talked to Marsalis this morning. I probably should have checked with you first, but ... I invited her for dinner." Harry's silence was what Jaejoong had always hated the most and it seemed to stretch on forever before Harry finally spoke. "She must think I'm a total arse." Jaejoong pulled out of Harry's arms to turn and look at him. "No, Harry. She doesn't. She thinks marrying the mother of your child was honourable. Stupid, but honourable." Harry snorted. "Well, she's right about the stupid part." "She's right about the other part too. It took a while for her to convince me of that, but you did what you thought was right and that, in itself, is an honourable thing, no matter how misguided." "How can you do that? Make me feel better about ruining our lives?" "You give yourself too much credit," Jaejoong said, not just a little irritated at Harry's 'woe is me'
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attitude. "Look at us. We're together, we have beautiful, amazing children, and friends to stand by and support our decisions. If that's a ruined life, then show me a successful one." Harry bit his lip, feeling properly reprimanded. "You're right. I'm sorry." "Don't be sorry. Just..." Jaejoong took a deep breath and pulled Harry into an embrace, kissing his temple lightly. "Stop being sorry, Harry. Stop looking back and start looking forward. What's done is done. We can't relive the past. Isn't that what you always used to tell me when I would whine into my pumpkin juice about all of the poor decisions I'd made? What was it you used to say that always made me so angry?" "You can't rewrite history, but the future's an empty slate." Jaejoong snorted. "Yeah, that's it. Merlin, that used to piss me off, but you were right. The future can be whatever we make of it and we have children who are depending on us to make good decisions. To give them the best future they can have." Harry couldn't contain the smile that crossed his lips. "When did you become so preachy?" "When did you become Moaning Myrtle?" They both sniggered and Harry pulled Jaejoong on top of him and kissed him fiercely. "I love you, my dragon." Jaejoong laid his head on the other man's chest, the sound of his breathing like a lullaby. "Does that mean Marsalis can come for dinner?" "Of course she can come. This is your home; you can invite anyone you want." Jaejoong propped his chin up on Harry's chest and brushed a stray curl away from his eyes. "I want you to get to know her. I know it's odd, but she's my best friend - she's my Ron. I'd like it if the two of you could be friends." Staring into Jaejoong's probing eyes, Harry knew he would never be able to deny the man anything. Jaejoong could ask him to walk through a wall of flames and he would do it with a smile on his face. To let anyone have that much power over him would be frightening if he didn't know, with absolute certainty, that Jaejoong felt the same way. "I suppose you've already given Kreacher the dinner menu?" Jaejoong snorted and buried his face into Harry's chest. "Of course." "Yes, of course, why bother waiting until your boyfriend agrees?" "I knew you'd agree eventually. It was just a matter of how far I had to go to convince you."
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"Yeah?" Harry asked with a sly grin. "And exactly how far where you prepared to go?" Jaejoong propped his chin on Harry's chest again and wiggled his body between the other man's legs. "Let's just say I wish you would have put up more of a fight." Kreacher wasn't at all pleased that they missed lunch, but Harry had decided he really did need more convincing and Jaejoong was all too eager to oblige. After a nap and a long shower, Harry was almost ready to face the woman who had given Jaejoong back to him. He had no idea what to say to her, but he felt quite sure "thank you" would feature prominently in the conversation. TBC Back to Index Chapter 6: Twelve Years Later Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. All characters are over the age of 18. Thanks to Sesheta_66 for the wonderful beta job and to Georgia Hawkins for Britpicking brilliance! If you read, please review! I would love to know what you think! Twelve Years Later part 6 Dinners, Baths, and Honesty "Harry, stop pacing. You're driving me mad." "I'm not ..." Harry stopped pacing and leaned against the wall. "I'm not pacing." The sound of Jaejoong's soft laughter filled the air as he left the sofa and slipped his arms around his nervous lover. "There's nothing to worry about, Harry. She's just a friend" "She's your wife, Jaejoong! How many men do you know who can be calm when they're about to have dinner with their lover's wife?" "She's my ex-wife, or at least she will be after I sign the papers tonight. She went to see our solicitor this morning." "Regardless, she's still" "She's here, Master Potter," Kreacher said urgently. "Should I be letting her in?" "No, Kreacher," Jaejoong said calmly. "I'll get the door. Would you get Harry a drink and add some of that special house-elf calming draught to it, would you?"
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"Jaejoong, I don't need" Jaejoong cut Harry off with a quick kiss. "I was kidding about the draught, but not the drink. Go ... take deep breaths or something." As Jaejoong headed to the door he shook his head and mumbled to no one in particular, "For Merlin's sake, the man can face down the most powerful wizard alive and buckles under the pressure of meeting my best friend." "And you'd be less nervous if the roles were reversed?" Marsalis asked with a smirk as soon as the door opened. "Fuck, Mars, how do you do that? You have the ears of a Hippogriff." "Years of listening out for your son, otherwise the Manor would have been destroyed before his fourth birthday." She stepped through the door and gave Jaejoong a warm hug. "You have to expect him to be nervous, Jaejoong. Put yourself in his shoes. You'd be a bloody mess if he announced Ginny Weasley was coming for dinner and he really wanted the two of you to be friends." "If Ginny Weasley so much as steps foot in this house I may hex her to hell," Jaejoong sniffed haughtily as he led Marsalis into the living room. "Harry, allow me to introduce" "Oh, Jaejoong, don't be so formal. He knows perfectly well who I am." She held out her hand for a friendly handshake. "I've heard more about you than you probably want to know. It's nice to finally meet you." "Harry shook her hand, trying his best to smile nonchalantly. "It's nice to meet you too. Jaejoong speaks very highly of you." "Oh, really?" She raised both eyebrows and looked teasingly at Jaejoong. "So what extravagant lies has he told you?" "Well," Harry glanced uncomfortably at Jaejoong who simply shrugged. "He said you were everything he'd ever want in a wife if he weren't incurably gay." She laughed and ruffled Jaejoong's hair playfully. "Well, I guess he's been honest then, hasn't he?" Jaejoong brushed her hand away and scowled. "Mars, stop it. I'm not Sungwoong, you know." "No, but when you pout like that it's hard to tell the two of you apart." Marsalis winked at Harry and he couldn't help but notice what a charming smile she had. "Love, why don't you go and get us a drink," she continued. "I'd like to talk to Harry alone for a moment."
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"Marsalis, I don't" "It's okay, Jaejoong. I don't mind." Jaejoong huffed and gave his soon to be ex-wife a warning look before kissing Harry and leaving the room. "Well, from what I can see, you're everything he said you were," Marsalis commented as she looked Harry up and down appraisingly. "I ... Mrs ... hell, I don't even know what to call you." Harry stood nervously, feeling like he was twelve again. She smiled and sat gracefully on the sofa, patting the spot next to her. "Call me Marsalis. Jaejoong calls me Mars and I've always hated it. Makes me sound like a bloody planet. Trust me, no woman wants to feel like a planet." Harry laughed, feeling some of the tension ebb away. "No, I would imagine not," he said as he sat down next to her. "You don't have to be nervous, Harry. Jaejoong is ... I love the man dearly, but you're the one he's always wanted. I'm not a threat to that. I never have been." "I..." Harry had to bite his lip to keep his emotions at bay. Somehow he felt like he owed this woman a debt he would never be able to repay. "Thank you. I feel like I should say more, but I really don't know what else to say." She took Harry's hand in hers and squeezed gently. "You don't have to say anything. My agreement with Jaejoong was mutually beneficial. He saved me from a horrible, unhappy marriage. He has always been kind and honest, and has given me everything he possibly could. I've never begrudged him the fact that he couldn't give me his heart. That's always belonged to you, and quite honestly, I don't think I'd want the responsibility of holding such precious cargo in my hands." She cocked her head to one side and studied Harry with an intensity that made him squirm. "I don't think I need to tell you what kinds of dreadful things will befall you if you hurt him again, though." "No, you don't. I won't hurt him again, I can promise you that." "Well, then, now that that's settled." There was a mischievous sparkle in her eyes as she nodded toward the door. "Okay, Jaejoong you can come back in now." Jaejoong came through the door smiling sheepishly, tea tray in his hands. "I swear, Harry, she's frightening sometimes. It's no wonder Sungwoong is terrified of her." When Marsalis looked up at Jaejoong with such admiration, Harry wondered for a moment if there wasn't more between them than what she was telling him, but as the evening progressed he
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realised there wasn't. That she was exactly what Jaejoong had needed all this time, like the sister he'd never had, and he found himself mesmerized by the woman. Jaejoong had said he would like her and he did. Dinner was absolutely delightful. Marsalis was extremely entertaining, recounting dozens of stories of Jaejoong and Sungwoong over the years, making his lover blush on more than one occasion when the story put him in an unflattering light. Harry loved hearing about Jaejoong and his son, about what a good father he was and how dedicated he was to his family. But as much as he enjoyed it, it made his heart ache that he'd not been able to share in it. He knew he had his own memories with his children and he wouldn't trade those memories for anything, but they'd lived such different lives. Harry wondered how they would be able to reconcile those lives into the one that he wanted to build together. By the time Harry walked Marsalis to the end of the path where she could safely Apparate, he felt as though he were saying goodbye to an old friend. As odd as that would seem to the rest of the world, it no longer seemed odd to him. "Thank you for welcoming me into your home, Harry. I can see now why Jaejoong waited so long for you." Harry looked down at his feet self-consciously. "I still don't, but I'm glad that he did." Marsalis kissed Harry on the cheek. "Take care of him for me." "Don't worry, I will." As she disappeared into the night, Harry felt an odd sense of relief. It had been a long day full of surprising revelations, but Ron didn't hate him, and Marsalis would do everything in her power to make sure things went smoothly with Sungwoong. Tomorrow he would talk to Lily, and then Tuesday he would meet with the boys. The thought excited and terrified him in equal measure. He wanted to tell his children about Jaejoong, wanted them to accept him and love him the way he did. But he knew it wouldn't be that easy. "Hey, are you planning on spending the night out here?" Harry turned to see Jaejoong leaning against the doorframe watching him. How long had he been standing out here, lost in his thoughts? "I was just thinking." "I know." Jaejoong walked down the path to where Harry stood and took his hand. "Why don't you think in bed? I'll ask Kreacher to bring us some hot cocoa and we can talk." Looking into Jaejoong's eyes, Harry wondered how he'd lived without him for twelve years. He'd never needed anyone, never trusted anyone, and never loved anyone as much as he did this man before him. Yet he'd chosen his son over Jaejoong fourteen years ago. What would happen if he was forced to make that choice again? What would he do if his kids refused to accept Jaejoong into their lives, refused to accept Harry into their lives after what he'd done? He didn't want to think about it, but he couldn't help it.
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Jaejoong tugged his hand gently and led him back into the house. "How about a warm bath before bed? It'll help you sleep." Harry nodded, not really paying any attention to where they were going. ~~~~~~~~~~ The bath felt heavenly. The scents Jaejoong had added smelled heavenly. Jaejoong's warm body behind him felt more than heavenly. Yet Harry couldn't relax and just enjoy it. He had too much to worry about, and pretending that the problems didn't exist wasn't going to make them go away. "Have you still not heard from her?" Harry leaned his head back against Jaejoong's chest and closed his eyes, trying to focus on the hands that were tracing tiny circles along his stomach and hips. "Nothing. I've sent three owls. I've arranged for the Floo to be hooked up in the morning, but if she doesn't want to talk to me, I doubt she'll answer if I Floo-call. " "Are you still planning on going over tomorrow to talk to Lily?" "I have to," Harry snapped. He was irritated beyond belief, but he was mad at Ginny, not Jaejoong. The last thing he wanted to do was to take it out on the one person who had done nothing to deserve it. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap." "It's okay, I didn't take it personally. You've got a lot to deal with without worrying about hurting my feelings." "I do, though. Worry about you." "You don't need to, Harry. This is me, remember? If you say something that pisses me off, I'll tell you. We're going to disagree about things, we're going to argue. Hell, with our history, we'll probably throw a few hexes at each other, but what we can't do is ignore things and let them fester, or storm out to the nearest pub without acknowledging that there's a problem. And before you say anything, I'm not trying to dredge up the past; I'm trying to protect our future. I love you, Harry, and I have no doubt that this will work, but we have to be able to say what's on our minds, to be completely honest with each other. We can't afford to fall into the old habits that got us into this predicament in the first place. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Harry nodded his understanding. Jaejoong had always been the practical one, the one who thought things through and looked at things from every imaginable angle. He always made his decisions based on facts, weighed every risk carefully and meticulously. It had always driven Harry crazy because there were some risks that couldn't be measured, some outcomes that couldn't be calculated, some times when you had to go with your instincts no matter what the facts told you. Jaejoong leaned in and kissed Harry softly on the side of the neck. "I love you, Harry. We'll get
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through this together. Okay?" Harry glanced back at Jaejoong and somehow knew he was right. "Marsalis was nice. I liked her." Jaejoong snorted. "Of course you did. I have impeccable taste." ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Harry scribbled a quick note to Jaejoong before grabbing his cloak and Flooing to the Ministry. He'd thought about waking him to say goodbye, but it was still very early and they had been up rather late the night before. When Harry had awakened he was in a much more confident mood and had decided that if Ginny was intent on ignoring him, he'd take matters into his own hands. "Harry, mate, what are you doing here?" Ron asked as the Floo in his office activated and a stone-faced Harry stepped out. "Have you talked to Ginny?" Harry asked tetchily. "Yeah, yesterday, after I left your place. Why? What's happened?" "She hasn't responded to any of the owls that I've sent trying to make arrangements to talk to Lily and she won't accept my Floo-calls." Ron propped his elbows on his desk and rubbed his eyes. "Shit, Harry, she's still pretty angry" "I know that, Ron, and I don't blame her. But Lily is my daughter and I haven't seen her in two days! I need to tell her what's going on before she figures it out." "Okay, okay, don't go getting all hysterical on me. I'll get hold of Ginny and find out what's going on. Just go home and wait. I'll owl you when I know something." Harry slumped into the chair across from Ron's desk. "I'm sorry to bother you with this. I know you're busy." "Damn right, I'm busy. The head of the Department just quit without notice." Harry looked up apologetically. "I'm sorry, I just couldn't" "I know, Harry, I don't blame you. When this bit about you and Jaejoong comes out it'll be like a Pixie party around here. Resigning was the right thing to do; it's just been really crazy without you. Have you seen Kingsley yet?" Harry chuckled. "No. I was tempted to wear my invisibility cloak today so I could hide if I ran into him. I'm sure he's pissed."
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"Harry, pissed doesn't even begin to describe what he is." "Well, if he wants to hex me he'll have to join the queue." Ron looked at his friend sadly. "How are you doing? Really?" "I'm okay. It's strange though, on the one hand I'm happier than I've ever been and on the other I'm terrified that my world is about to drop out from under me." "I can only imagine. Well, the sooner you talk to the kids the better you'll feel, so let me go find Ginny and I'll owl you when I can." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Stop it, Jaejoong, you're driving me nuts!" When Jaejoong crossed his arms and pouted, Harry immediately regretted raising his voice. He twined their fingers together and rested his head on Jaejoong's shoulder. "I'm sorry. It's just ... I'm going to see my daughter, not the Pope." "I know. I just want you to look your best." "Dragon, she's ten. She's not going to notice if my shirt collar is straight or if my socks match." "You're right," Jaejoong said, laughing at himself. "I'm just nervous for you, that's all." "I know and I appreciate the concern, but I have a feeling everything will turn out okay." Ron's owl had arrived just as they were finishing brunch. It didn't tell Harry much, just a scrawled, "Meet me at the house at twelve-thirty. Lily will be there." He didn't know if Ginny would be there or not and he rather hoped not. Now that the time had come for action, Harry felt calmer than he had in days. He still had no idea how she would respond, but of his three children, he expected her to be the most understanding. They had always had a special relationship. Maybe it was just a father-daughter thing, but in her eyes, he could do no wrong. He had to trust in that bond and hope for the best. "Owl me to let me know if she's coming, and if I should be here when you get home. Mars said I could stay at the Manor tonight if I need to." Harry slipped his arms around Jaejoong's waist, pulling him closer and kissing him softly. He hated the idea of spending even one night away from him, but if it didn't go well with Lily, they'd agreed to wait to bring Jaejoong into the mix. "I can't tell you why, but I don't think it will come to that. If I know my daughter, she'll want to know everything and won't be able to stand not being a part of it." "I hope you're right, Harry. The last thing on earth I want to do is spend another night in an
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empty bed." ~~~~~~~~ Ron was waiting for Harry when he stepped out of the Floo, the expression on his face one of worry. "Hey, is Ginny here?" "Yeah, in the kitchen. Harry, she doesn't want Lily to stay with you tonight." "Why?" Harry hadn't meant for it to come out so harshly, but judging by the way Ron flinched, it obviously had. "I'm sorry, Harry. This is hard for her and I think she's striking out any way she can. She just wants to hurt you." "Doesn't she realise she'll be hurting Lily too?" "Well, that's what I said, but she's not really listening to reason right now. Maybe it'd be best if you waited." "Waited for what Ron? You know Lily. She wants to know everything that goes on. She'll want to know where I'm living and she needs to know that it's her home as much as this is. Waiting will only make her feel like she's not welcome, and I won't let that happen." "Well you should have thought about that before you lied to us for fourteen years, Harry." The condescending tone in which Ginny spoke was almost enough to make Harry grab for his wand. "I've never lied to them and I'm sorry I lied to you Ginny. I really thought at the time I was doing the right thing. Obviously I was wrong but there's very little to be done about it now. If you want to hate me, then fine, but leave the kids out of it. This has nothing to do with them." "The hell it doesn't! If you'd been able to perform a simple Contraceptive Spell in the first place then none of this would have happened." Harry took one of the deepest breaths he'd possibly ever inhaled, holding it to the point where he was close to passing out. He was going to try his best to be civil about things. "First of all, as much as I've hated being away from Jaejoong, I'm glad that the Protection Charm didn't work, because otherwise the three people I love most in this world wouldn't exist. Second, I still can't believe I would even attempt such a charm, considering how drunk I was, not to mention the fact that I'd never done one before. It's not like I ever had to worry about Jaejoong getting pregnant, now did I?" With Harry's last words, Ginny's wand was in her hand and a hex on her lips. Luckily, Ron was faster and cast a Silencing Charm on both of them. "This is not the time or the place for this," he
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hissed angrily. "Ginny, Harry is going to go talk to Lily and if he wants her to spend one night with him at his new home then he has every right to. If you want to yell and scream and hex each other to the pits of hell then you can do it when she's not around. Is that understood?" He looked back and forth between the both of them, fire virtually shooting from his eyes. "Good, now, Finite Incantatem. Harry, go talk to Lily, Ginny, come with me, and both of you ... not another word." ~TBC~ Back to Index Chapter 7: Twelve Years Later Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. All characters are over the age of 18. Thanks to Sesheta_66 for the wonderful beta job! If you read, please review! I would love to know what you think! Twelve Years Later Chapter 7 Trouble in Paradise "Daddy, you're home!" Lily scrambled up from the floor, letting the parade of magical dancing dolls that she'd been playing with fall to the ground. She launched herself into Harry's open arms and squealed with delight when he picked her up and swung her in a circle. "I've missed you, Dad! Where have you been?" Harry sat her down on the bed among a heap of pastel coloured stuffed animals. "Well, Princess, that's what I wanted to talk to you about." He knelt down in the floor in front of her and looked up into her confident blue eyes. They had always reminded him of Ron, and it helped now, to know that he had his friend's support in all of this. "You know how much I love you and you know that nothing could ever change that, right?" Lily nodded, waiting expectantly. "Well, even though we will always be a family, I won't actually be living here anymore. Your mum and I ... angel, sometimes grown-ups" "Dad," Lily interrupted in almost a bored tone. "I already know that you and Mum are getting a divorce." His first thought was that Ginny must have told her, and it took all of his self-control to stay where he was. "How do you know that, angel?" he managed to ask more calmly than he would have thought. "I overheard Mum arguing with Uncle Ron."
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"You overheard?" Harry asked sternly. "There wouldn't happen to have been any Extendable Ears involved, would there?" Lily blushed and tried to avoid her father's severe look. "Sorry, Dad. I could tell something was going on, and you know how I hate to be left out." Harry cursed himself for not telling her right away. He should have expected this. "Yes, I do know, but that was still very wrong. What did you overhear?" "They said you were in love with someone else." Harry looked at his daughter closely. She had said it so matter-of-factly, like it didn't bother her at all and that worried him more than if she'd been screaming and crying. "Lily, I know this must have come as a bit of a shock, but you're mum and I both love you. Nothing that happens between us will ever change that. And it's okay to be confused or angry. I don't want you to pretend it doesn't bother you if it does." Lily fidgeted slightly, and Harry joined her on the bed, reaching over to pull her onto his lap. "What else did you overhear? Did they say who this someone else was?" "No, but Mum said some terrible things about him and then Uncle Ron got really angry and said it didn't matter what she thought because he would make you happy." "Uncle Ron said that?" Harry couldn't keep the surprise out of his voice. "Yeah," his daughter answered with a giggle. "But he made this really funny face when he said it, like he'd just had to swallow a yucky potion." Harry chuckled. "And the fact that this someone is a he doesn't bother you?" "Why should it? You've told us loads of times that everyone is equal and should be treated with respect and dignity, whether they're like us or not." "Yes, and that's entirely true, Lily, but" "And remember that time we saw those two men holding hands in Diagon Alley and James made that crude remark? You took away his broomstick for a whole month!" "Yes, I did, but" "Dad," she said in soft voice that made Harry lean in to hear. "You told us that the love they shared was the same as any other couple and that no matter who I married, you'd love me just the same. So doesn't that mean it's okay for me to still love you just as much?"
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Harry hugged Lily with all that he had. She'd always been a bright child, born too old for her own good. But he'd never been more proud of her, or more proud of the way he and Ginny had raised her. "Do me a favour, will you? Don't say anything to your brothers until I've had a chance to talk to them, okay?" "Um, well, Albus kind of already knows." "Kind of?" "Well, I sent him an owl yesterday -- you know, just to see what he thought -- and he said it would be best if he softened James up a bit before you talked to him. You know what a hothead James can be sometimes." "Lily, you shouldn't have" "Dad, you raised us to be a family, to take care of each other and love each other no matter what. Well, that's exactly what we're doing and that's exactly what we'll keep doing." She finished with a look of determination that came straight from her mother, and Harry sighed, wondering when his ten-year-old had become wiser than he was. "I love you, Lily; nothing will ever change that. But things will change and it won't be easy for any of us." Lily flung her arms around him and Harry could tell she was beginning to let it all sink in. "You'll still be my daddy, though, even if you don't live with us? You'll still be there when I need you, right?" Harry had to fight back the tears that wanted to spill over. "Of course, angel, and that will never change. You'll have your own room at my place and you can come over whenever you want." "Can I decorate it myself? Can we colour it pink and purple and orange?" Harry pulled away and looked at his daughter with mock outrage. "Orange?" She giggled. "Yeah, Mum said orange didn't match pink and purple so she wouldn't let me do it in my room here." Harry laughed. "We'll see. I happen to like orange, and you know, I think it's your Uncle Ron's favourite colour. Maybe he'll come by and help us decorate." Lily beamed at the thought of her favourite uncle helping with her room. But then her smile faded into concern. "Dad? Do you think he'll like me?" "Who, sweetie?" "You know, your..."
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Harry smiled and hugged his daughter tightly. "His name is Jaejoong, and yes, angel, I think he'll love you. Are you ready to meet him, or do you need some time to get used to all of this?" "I'd like to meet him. If you love him, he must be really special." Then she grinned a decidedly sneaky grin. "And I bet I could charm him into buying me all sorts of things." Harry finally let his relief come to the surface. "Angel, I have absolutely no doubt about that. Here," he said, lifting her from his lap as he smiled. "Why don't you pack a few things and you can come see your new room? I have to run a few errands, but I'd like it if you stayed with me tonight at my new house, if you want to, that is." "Oh, goodie!" she said as she hopped off of the bed and tore through her room yanking open drawers. "Okay, then, I guess that's a yes. I'll be back in a bit to pick you up, okay?" She nodded without even looking back, pulling out her little suitcase and filling it with a variety of toys. Harry only hoped a pair of pyjamas would make it in somewhere. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "So? How'd she take it?" Ron asked, concern clear in his eyes. "Fine, which is not surprising considering she already knew." He tried to keep the frustration out of his voice as he spoke. "She overheard you and Ginny arguing yesterday. She also owled Albus, so now he knows too." "Well, fuck. So what are you going to do?" "Well, if Al knows, I'm sure he's told Sungwoong. I don't know if either of them will make the connection, but I need to go home and tell Jaejoong just in case." "Shit. So I suppose she's staying here tonight?" "No. She really wants to come see her new room, but... look, Ron, I don't know how long this will take." "Don't worry 'bout Lily. Ginny's gone out for a bit. I'll wait for her and then bring Lily over later, maybe around dinner time?" Harry gave Ron a look of gratitude that couldn't come close to the newfound appreciation he had for his friend. "Thanks, mate, I owe you for this." "Damn straight, you do. Now go." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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"Jaejoong?" Harry called as he exited the Floo. "Jaejoong!" "What?" Jaejoong came rushing into the room and even under these stressful circumstances Harry burst out laughing. Jaejoong had on Harry's Chudley Cannons apron that Ron had given him for Christmas one year, and he was covered almost head to toe in flour. "Jaejoong, what on earth?" "I was attempting to bake biscuits, but Kreacher says I haven't the talent for it." Jaejoong scowled, taking off the hideous apron. "Thank Merlin. I never want to see a cup of flour again." "We might have a problem." "What, did Lily not" "Lily already knew. She overheard Ron and Ginny and she owled Al. If Al knows, then" "Sungwoong knows." "Yeah. Do you think they'll be able to make the connection?" "What exactly did Lily know? Just that you were asking for a divorce, or" "She knew about you..." At Jaejoong's wide-eyed look of panic Harry quickly amended his sentence. "I mean, not you, by name, just that there's another man involved." "Fuck, Harry." Jaejoong took a deep breath and pulled out his wand, clearing the remainder of the flour from his hands and face. "Sungwoong knows I'm gay, remember? If Al tells him you're in love with another man, he'll ... it won't take him long to put that together with everything else he knows and come to the right conclusion. I have to go tell him." Harry nodded; he'd figured as much. "I'll Floo McGonagall and we can go to Hogwarts together, okay?" "Does McGonagall know about us?" Jaejoong's voice was just a fraction higher than normal and he was pacing back and forth in front of the fire. Even after all of this time, Harry could still read him like no one else ever could. "No, I wanted to tell the boys first," Harry said as he gently took Jaejoong's arm to still his pacing. "Jaejoong, it's alright. We'll get there before they figure it out, and if we don't, we'll deal with it together." Jaejoong fell, almost limp, into Harry's arms. "You don't understand, Harry. He'll figure it out. It won't be that hard, I..." He pulled out of Harry's arms so abruptly that Harry almost fell forward onto him. "Fuck, I have to contact Mars." Jaejoong tossed a bit of powder into the fire and
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became even more agitated when he had to leave a message with one of the house-elves. Harry tried to talk to him again before calling McGonagall, but that seemed to irritate Jaejoong even more. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The walk from Hogsmeade seemed a hundred times longer than it ever had as a child. They walked in silence, both sorting through what was about to happen in their own way. This was the first time they had been in public together in what seemed like a lifetime. Not that they'd ever been seen in public as a couple, and Harry still hated himself for that decision. He'd had a thousand good reasons why they needed to keep their relationship a secret, but he'd overlooked the one good reason why they shouldn't until it was too late. He kept telling himself that it was fate. That if he'd done things differently he wouldn't have his kids, that somehow the end justified the means, but he knew all of that was just a bunch of rubbish he told himself to stay sane. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ At the first sight of the castle looming in the distance Jaejoong paused. They'd both been back here numerous times. Jaejoong was on the Board of Governors and Harry had been a guest speaker to dozens of events that had been held here, but they'd never been back here together. Jaejoong was assaulted by so many memories. Memories he'd tried a lifetime to forget. He clenched his fist tightly and shoved the memories deep into the pocket of his mind where he kept such things, safe and far away from the rest of his life. "Are you okay?" Harry asked softly. Jaejoong nodded, gritting his teeth and promising himself he wouldn't dwell on the past. On regrets that could never be relived, mistakes that could never be corrected, words that could never be taken back. Harry had asked him recently how he could forgive his foolish mistakes so easily. Looking around him, Jaejoong was forcefully reminded of how much Harry had forgiven him. He hoped for Harry's sake that his children had inherited that trait from their father and not their mother. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ McGonagall stood behind her desk, the epitome of a Headmistress if Harry had ever seen one. "Harry, what's this all about?" When Jaejoong stepped through the door right behind Harry she covered her surprise nicely. "Mr Jaejoong, I didn't expect to see you until tomorrow. Gentlemen, who's going to tell me what's going on here?" Jaejoong was the first to speak, albeit more hurriedly than he would have done normally. "Harry and I are both getting divorces. We're together. We'd planned to tell the boys tomorrow but
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Harry's youngest overheard a conversation and owled Albus, and I feel quite sure that he's told Sungwoong. We felt it prudent to speak with them immediately." Harry had never seen Minerva McGonagall speechless before, and under different circumstances it would have been comical. "Gentlemen, sit." "Minerva, please" "Harry, sit. If they already know then a few more minutes won't change anything. You both need time to collect yourselves." She turned to one of the portraits on the wall and asked very kindly, "Would you please find out what class the Potter boys and young Mr Jaejoong are in at the moment?" "Certainly, Headmistress," the man said before scurrying out of his frame. "Now, take a moment to think about what you plan to say when you see them. Do you plan to see them together?" Both men looked at one another. They hadn't thought that far ahead. "That's exactly what I'd thought. I suppose I don't need to tell you Albus and Sungwoong have become quite inseparable over the last couple of days." "No," both men said in unison. "They owled saying as much," Harry explained. "And yet you hadn't anticipated that this would happen?" "We hadn't told anyone. Well, except for Ginny and Ron" "And Marsalis." "Pardon me for saying so, Harry, but considering the stock from which these children come, I'm not at all surprised they found out." "Excuse me, Headmistress," Jaejoong said as he stood to his full height. "It really matters not whether you expected it, what matters is that we need to speak with our children, and sooner rather than later would be appreciated." "Jaejoong" "No, Harry. She may be the Headmistress of this school, but Sungwoong is my son and I would like to speak with him." He turned his stony gaze away from Harry and toward McGonagall. "Now. If you don't mind."
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McGonagall sighed heavily, "Very well, Mr Jaejoong, as you wish. When" "Headmistress, the two younger boys are in Potions. I can't locate the older Potter boy; he appears to be in one of the Greenhouses." "Very well. Please have Albus and Sungwoong brought to my office immediately." Just as she'd finished speaking, the door opened and a very worried looking Marsalis stepped into the room. "Jaejoong, I got your message. What's happened?" "Sungwoong is fine, he just..." Jaejoong stopped to take a deep breath, realising he was letting his emotions get the best of him. "It's alright, Marsalis," Harry interjected. "Al has found out about me and Ginny and we assume he's told Sungwoong. We just wanted to talk to them before they came to their own conclusions." "Oh, dear," she said as she kissed Jaejoong on the cheek. When she repeated the motion with Harry, McGonagall raised a curious brow, but said nothing. "Do they know about the two of you?" "Not yet, but Harry's daughter owled that there was another man involved and Sungwoong would surely suspect, given enough time. It's not like there are that many gay wizards around." "And he'd surely remember how you always left the room whenever Harry's name was mentioned?" Jaejoong sat back down and pinched the rim of his nose. "Yes, that too," he said quietly. It took Harry only a split second to realise the implications of what had just been said and he felt an overwhelming urge to take Jaejoong into his arms and apologize again for all the pain he'd caused. He settled for placing a hand on Jaejoong's forearm. "Jaejoong, I" "Not now, Harry," Jaejoong said sharply. "Right now I need to focus on my son." He stood abruptly, letting Harry's hand fall in the process. "I'd think it best if Marsalis and I talk to Sungwoong alone. Is there somewhere private...?" "Yes, of course," McGonagall answered, standing quickly. "There's an office just next door. You can meet him at the bottom of the stairs if you'd like." "Thank you, Headmistress." Jaejoong nodded and made to turn to the door but was stopped by a soft hand on his arm. "Aren't you forgetting something, Jaejoong?" Marsalis asked coolly. Jaejoong turned toward her and she nodded to where Harry sat, looking as though someone had just thrown ice water over his head. The hurt in his eyes was so reminiscent of old that Jaejoong
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suddenly felt like he'd been thrown back in time. "Fuck." His whole body seemed to slump in defeat. "I'm sorry, Harry," he said quietly as he sat back down and took the other man's hand. "I just wasn't prepared to do this today. You know how I get when someone throws a broomstick into my well-laid plans." McGonagall cleared her throat and everyone looked up at her as if they'd forgotten she was there. "Why don't I meet the boys and get them settled into separate offices. I'll have one of the portraits notify you when they're ready." She swept out of the room, not waiting for agreement. "Harry, can we talk about this when we get home?" Nodding slightly but still not looking at Jaejoong, Harry stood and began pacing back and forth, trying to sort out what had just happened. They were both tense and on edge, he understood that, but he was confused by Jaejoong's reaction and unsure of how his sons would react. He just didn't know what to worry about first. They'd both waited so long for this, but now that they had it, it seemed they were sniping at each other more than they ever had. Jaejoong stood and approached Harry quietly, laying a hand softly on his arm. When their eyes met, Harry saw his own confusion mirrored in soft grey. "I'm sorry," Harry whispered so quietly that Jaejoong could hardly hear it. Jaejoong traced Harry's jaw line with a single finger before cupping his face gently and touching their lips together. "It'll be alright. I promise." It was exactly what Harry needed to hear. Even if he knew it might not be true, it was enough for Jaejoong to say it, to reassure him that no matter what happened in those rooms, they would be alright. "Sirs, the boys are ready for you," the man in the portrait announced. The two men looked at each other intensely and both nodded. "You ready?" Jaejoong asked softly. "No," Harry answered with a nervous chuckle. Jaejoong smiled. "Good. You're usually at your best when you're flying by the seat of your pants." TBC Back to Index Chapter 8: Twelve Years Later I am not JKR. I receive no monetary gain from this story. I make no claim to any of the characters and mean no offence by any actions they take. All characters depicted in sexual
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situations are above the age of consent. Thanks so much to Sesheta 66 for the wonderful beta job! Twelve Years Later Chapter 8 Greatest Gift, Greatest Burden
When his parents walked into the room, Sungwoong stood instantly. He'd never noticed the tiny worry lines around his mother's eyes before, and he'd never seen his father looking so serious. "Mother, Father, what's happened?" "Nothing bad son," his mother said as she gave him a warm hug. "How've you been? How do you like your classes?" Sungwoong hugged her quickly and stared at his father, whose eyes seemed more intense than he'd ever seen them. "Classes are fine, but I know you didn't come all this way to ask about my classes." "Sungwoong, there's something I need to tell you and I'd like you to listen carefully before reacting, alright?" His father motioned for him to sit and Sungwoong, as reluctant as he was to do so, obeyed. "You know that your mother and I married more for convenience than love, right?" "Yes, Father. You've always been honest with me about that. It's not uncommon among pureblood families." His father nodded. "That's true, Sungwoong, it's not, but you understand our situation is a bit different than most." "Because of your sexual orientation, I know. You saved Mother from a marriage that she didn't want, and she gave you a Kim heir." Sungwoong had always been rather proud that his parents had trusted him with this information. He expected many families would have been less open about their circumstances. It had never bothered him. His parents had the best relationship of anyone he knew. "I've known all of this since I was a child, Father" "Sungwoong, your mother and I care very deeply for each other and we love you more than anything in this world, but our arrangement was only to last until you went away to school. Do you understand what that means?" "I ..." He looked back and forth between his parents, feeling suddenly confused. "No, Father, I'm afraid I don't." "Sungwoong, love." His mother covered his hands with hers and smiled at him reassuringly. "It means that your father and I will be getting a divorce, but it won't change how we feel about you or about each other."
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"But why? I mean why get a divorce unless" The moment he looked into his father's eyes he knew. "You've found someone else." His father shook his head. "Not exactly. There is someone else, someone I've always loved, but we'd agreed it was best to stay apart until out children were mature enough to handle it." Sungwoong let the words flow through his mind. His father had been in love with someone, someone who had a family of his own. The expression on his father's face was the same as when he would ask a puzzling question and then wait to see if Sungwoong could work it out for himself before giving the answer. He ran through everything he knew about his father's past and felt like the answer was skittering around the edge of his mind, but somehow it still eluded him. "Son," his mother said gently, "are you okay with this?" He looked up into his mother's crystal blue eyes and didn't know how to answer. "Are you, mother?" "Yes, love, I am. We'll still be a family; nothing can change that. It's just that you'll be part of another family as well." He nodded, cautiously looking to his father. "Why did you have to come today? We were scheduled to meet tomorrow." "We felt, under the circumstances ." His father sighed and gave his mother a pained look. "We wanted to make sure you heard it from us before you figured it out for yourself," his mother answered. "But how could I have" And there it was, the answer so blindingly obvious that he couldn't believe he'd missed it. "It's Al's father," he finished quietly. Looking at his father, he knew instantly that he was correct. "That's how you knew who my new friend was, why you said in your letter that I'd made an excellent choice in befriending a Potter. You were with him when he got Al's letter." "Yes." The word was clearly spoken, and for the first time in his short life, Sungwoong knew what his eyes must look like when he wanted his parents' approval. His father had never once failed to give it to him, to be supportive of his choices, to encourage him in every endeavour, to love him no matter how big of a mess he'd found himself in. The choice was simple. He loved both of his parents and if that meant having Harry Potter in his life, then he would do his best to accept it. His lip quirked into a half smile and he arched one small blond eyebrow, just as his father had taught him. "You always said if something is worth doing, it's worth doing on a grand scale. I guess it doesn't get any bigger than this, does it, Father?"
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His father rewarded him with a huge smile, pulling him from his chair and into a crushing hug. Affection had always been plentiful in his house, but somehow this hug held more meaning than any he and his father had ever shared. This wasn't just the hug of a father who loved his son, but of equals, if only for a moment, and Sungwoong had never felt so proud in all of his life. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Albus Potter stared nervously at the door his dad would step through at any minute. He'd thought long and hard about what he wanted to say to him. In fact, he'd been unable to think of anything else since his sister's owl had arrived. When Sungwoong had questioned him about the letter, he'd considered lying, but he'd already found it impossible to keep anything from his new friend, and afterward, he had been glad that he was honest. He'd expected Sungwoong to tease him about it, although not so much that his parents were getting a divorce. That wasn't so terribly uncommon these days; in fact it was almost a fad. Sungwoong had explained, quite simply, why that was. Apparently, throughout wizarding history, after any war, hundreds of couples rushed into marriages they weren't ready for. In the olden days, before divorces were acceptable, they were stuck with it, but now, in these modern times, divorce wasn't nearly as taboo. Some of the kids had even bragged about how easy it was to play on their parents' guilt to get what they wanted. He'd thought maybe it was a Slytherin thing. What he'd worried about was the part about his dad being in love with another man. He understood what it meant to be gay; at least he thought he did. What he couldn't understand was why his dad had married his mum if he was gay. Sungwoong had explained that too, saying it was just a matter of procreation and had said his father had done the same thing. Al didn't fully understand the whole idea of procreation. Yeah, he understood the 'mommies and daddies get married to have babies' bit, not that he really understood how it all happened, but his dad had done his best to explain it. Apparently, his dad had left out the bit about what daddies and daddies got up to. Of course, he didn't want to think about that and he really hoped his dad wasn't going to feel obligated to explain it now. When the door finally creaked open, he tried his best not to look nervous. His dad walked into the room looking, as always, bigger than life. "Hi, Dad," he said, trying his hardest not to fidget. "I didn't expect to see you so soon." "Well, after a talk with your sister, I thought today would be a good day to talk." "Oh," Al said, realising what that meant. "Look, Al, I know she owled you, which means you know why I'm here. I'll answer whatever questions you have." Al looked up at his father in surprise. He hadn't thought that he'd be asking any questions, although, come to think of it, there were a lot on his mind. He blurted out the first that came to him. "How could you marry Mum if you're gay?" Oh, bugger, he thought immediately, hoping it
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didn't lead to the 'daddies and daddies' explanation. His dad sat next to him, obviously thinking hard about what he wanted to say. "That's not an easy question, Al, but I'll try to answer it as truthfully as I can. Before your mother and I got married, I was involved with someone else, a man that I loved very much, but for reasons that I'd rather not explain right now, I ended up marrying your mother." "So you never really loved Mum?" By the scrunched up look on his dad's face, it looked like he didn't understand this very well either. "It's complicated, son. I do love your mother, but not in the way that I should. Not in the way most husbands love their wives." "Not the same way you loved ... that man?" "Yes," his dad said quietly. "Not the way I still love him, Al." "So it's ... this person that you're leaving Mum for, it's the same man?" "Yes." Albus had to stop and let this all sink in. His parents had been married forever. How could his dad still love someone else after all that time? And he still couldn't figure out why his parents had married in the first place if his dad ... liked men. "But dad, Mum's a girl!" His dad laughed; Albus was glad, because everything seemed far too serious. "It's not always as simple as liking girls or boys, Al. Some people like both." "Oh." Somehow his dad had left that part out of the 'mommies and daddies' talk too. "Al, I can see how this would be confusing, but I'm still the same person and it doesn't mean anything will change between us. Your mum and I both still love you and James and Lily. We just won't be together, that's all." "Yeah, okay." He somehow felt there should be more to say, but there simply wasn't. It seemed simple enough, all except for the part about someday getting a stepdad instead of a stepmom. "There's one other thing that we need to talk about. It's the reason I wanted to talk to you before I talked to James." "Dad, I've talked to James" At the look of panic that crossed his dad's face, he immediately interjected, "I haven't told him. I just ... he's going to have a Thestral when he finds out."
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"I know, son, but I'll handle that. This part concerns you, and may affect one of your friendships." Albus simply looked at his dad blankly, unable to understand what any of this would have to do with his friends. "Al, the person that I'm involved with is Sungwoong' father." Albus could feel his eyes widen as big as saucers. "Mr Jaejoong?" As unbelievable as it was, it made perfect sense. Why else would Sungwoong understand the whole daddies and daddies thing unless ... well, unless his own dad had explained it to him? "Yes, he's here telling Sungwoong right now, and I hope for both of your sakes that everything goes okay." Albus wasn't sure what he was supposed to say next, when the door opened and he didn't have to say anything. James walked in looking worried and confused. "Dad, what are you doing here?" "Sit down, James. There are a few things I have to tell you." James looked back and forth between his dad and Al, opting to sit across from his brother. "What is it, Dad?" Albus knew it was a silly reaction with his dad in the room, but he found his wand in his hand anyway. He'd learned, even before he had a wand of his own, that James was apt to act first and think later... sometimes much, much later. He wanted to be prepared, just in case. Harry looked sternly at both of them and held out his hand. "Wands first." "What?" James asked incredulously. "No way, Dad." One stern look from his dad was enough to make James hand over his wand. Al knew his dad was only taking his wand to make things fair, but he was still loath to give it up, although he did so without argument. "Thank you. Now, there's no easy way to say this, so I'll just come right out and say it. Your mum and I are getting a divorce." Al was amazed at how quickly all of the blood drained from his brother's face. "What do you mean? How can you ... I don't understand. Why?" The words fell from James' mouth in a jumbled mess. "I'm involved with someone else."
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Albus held his breath. He wondered about using such a direct approach, but had to think his dad knew what he was doing. "You cheated on Mum?" James was out of his seat in a second, his previously pale face gone blood red and Albus was grateful his dad had thought to take their wands. "Not exactly, but please sit down. There's more to tell and then you can yell all you want." James looked about to argue but sat nonetheless. "Al, you don't really have to stay if you don't want to." He considered taking the opportunity to escape, but this was a family matter and it seemed wrong to leave. "I'd like to stay if it's okay." He was surprised to see a grateful look pass briefly across his father's face. He listened intently as his dad explained everything to James, and he was in awe at how calm his dad was. He supposed having gone through it twice already had helped. When he'd finished, Al turned to his brother and waited for the outburst. What came was even worse. When James spoke, it was in the lowest voice Al had ever heard. "So you've basically been lying to us for our entire lives? And not only that, but now you expect us to just accept that you're a pouf and a" "James, I know you're angry" "Damn right, I'm angry" "And you have every right to be" "Don't you dare tell me what I have a right to be. How can you sit there and tell me this and just expect me to accept it? Did you even love Mum in the first place?" "James" "No. You didn't, and I, unlike the rest of this oblivious family, know exactly why you married her. I can do the math, Dad. It never bothered me because I thought you loved her, but now" Al was trying desperately to sort through what his brother was talking about, but before he could, James rounded on him with more anger than he'd ever seen. "And you, some brother you are," he yelled. "You knew and didn't even tell me. Those questions last night about your friend's dad being gay, you couldn't be bothered to tell me he was buggering our dad" "Son, that's enough," his dad said firmly. "No, it's not enough," James screamed, pushing his chair way from the table, making it fall with a clunk against the stone floor. "You and your fudge-packing boyfriend can go to hell, but don't
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ever call me son again!" The room echoed with the sound of the door slamming behind James, and then there was nothing but silence. Al had never seen such pain on anyone's face before. He knew that James would be angry, but this ... this was beyond even James' realm of temper tantrums, and it made him wonder what it was that he was missing, why he didn't feel angry or misled. He supposed it was that on some level he'd always known. Not that his dad liked men or ... whatever else it was that James seemed to know that he didn't, but he knew that something in their family wasn't right. He thought the world of his dad, and had spent most of his life following the man around, trying to be like him. His mum and dad had always been more distant than any of his aunts and uncles had ever been, and he remembered several times that he'd caught his dad with a sad, lost expression in his eyes. He'd always wondered what he was thinking about at those times. Sungwoong would say it was his Slytherin skills of observation that had made him take notice, but he thought it was just his innate sense of curiosity. Regardless of what it was, it all made more sense now. He felt as though he should say something, but he was just a kid. What could he possibly say? "Dad, he'll come around, you know he speaks without thinking." His dad tried to smile, but it looked more like a grimace. "I'm sorry you had to see that," he said as he handed Al both wands. "You might want to wait a while before you give that back to him." "Dad? ... I'll talk to him. He'll see reason sooner or later." "This isn't your problem, Al. James and I will get through this. He's angry and he has every right to be. He'll have to work it out in his own time. Are you sure you're okay?" Al blinked back the tears that suddenly moistened his eyes. It hadn't been real until that moment and he realised his life was about to change forever. His dad had always taught him that change wasn't inherently bad, that it was how you handled those changes that mattered, and that it was those choices that made you who you were. "Yeah, Dad, I'm okay. I ... I love you, no matter what." Harry brushed a tousled hair from his son's face and kissed him on the forehead. Normally Al would have immediately rebuffed the move, not wanting to be treated like a baby, but this time he had a feeling it was more for his dad's reassurance than it was for his, and he found he didn't really mind. He wrapped his arms around his dad and held on tighter than he had since he was a little boy. He remembered asking his dad once how he'd had the strength to fight Voldemort, and his dad had told him that whenever you need strength, you can always find it. His family needed his strength now, and kid or not, he wouldn't disappoint them. ~TBC~
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Back to Index Chapter 9: Twelve Years Later Disclaimer: I am not JKR. I receive no monetary gain from this story. I make no claim to any of the characters and mean no offence by any actions they take. All characters depicted in sexual situations are above the age of consent. As always, thank you to my wonderful beta, Sesheta 66! Twelve Years Later Chapter 9 What We Do For Love
Harry sat slumped in his chair wondering if things could have possibly gone any worse. He'd made a complete mess of things and he wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to fix them. He didn't blame James for being upset; he should have explained things better or given him more time to digest them, or ... never married Ginny in the first place. James was right, he had been lying to them their whole lives. Lying about his relationship with the one woman James loved the most. Lying about who he was, what he was. How he'd ever expected James to accept it was beyond naive, it was idiotic. He wasn't sure how long he'd been there when he heard the door open and felt strong hands on his shoulders. Skilful fingers dug into his muscles in an attempt to relax the tight knots. "I take it things didn't go well," Jaejoong said quietly. Harry leaned his cheek on Jaejoong's hand and let the first tear fall. Their earlier argument seemed so insignificant now, and he wanted to throw himself into Jaejoong's arms and stay there forever. He knew he couldn't live without this touch. Without this man that he loved more than life itself. It had taken him twelve years to fully understand how much Jaejoong meant to him, and now it seemed his heart was being torn in two all over again. The last time he'd felt this empty, this helpless, was the day Jaejoong had walked away. "James didn't take it very well." Jaejoong sat in the chair next to Harry and pulled him into his arms, letting his fingers stroke the tasselled mess of hair and massage his scalp gently. "What about Al?" "Al was fine, he was great actually, but ... god Jaejoong, you should have heard James. He was so angry, so ... spiteful. He knew that Ginny and I got married because she was pregnant, Merlin only knows how long he's known." Harry buried his face back into Jaejoong's chest as if the mere scent of him could wipe away the last hour. "Jaejoong, what am I going to do?" "Do you really want an answer, or is that a rhetorical question?" Harry leaned back to see the warm expression on Jaejoong's face and it calmed him somehow. This may feel like the end of the world, but just having Jaejoong beside him was proof that anything was possible. "I'll take all the advice I can get."
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Jaejoong pulled Harry back to his chest and kissed his head softly. "You wait. He's a teenage boy, Harry. He's stuck between the carefree days of childhood and the reality of becoming an adult, and suddenly the world he knew has just disappeared. He needs time to adjust, that's all." "How do you know that? How is it that you've never even met James and yet you seem to understand him more than I do?" "Harry, think about what was going on in my life when I was his age. I know a little about having the world pulled out from under your feet." Harry looked horror-stricken and Jaejoong couldn't help but smile. "I'm not saying this is as bad as Voldemort coming back and taking over my family, Harry. I'm just saying it's a drastic change and it will take some time for him to adjust. It's hard for you to understand because you never had a normal childhood. You never had the perfect family. James did, and now it's being threatened. He's acting out the only way he knows how. He's your son, though. He's strong and you've given him the moral upbringing that he'll need to get through this." "I want to go home," Harry said quietly, feeling a bit better and hoping against hope that Jaejoong was right. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When Harry stepped out of the Floo from the Three Broomsticks, the last person he expected to see was Ginny. His emotions were already a boiling cauldron of entirely the wrong ingredients and he knew they were ready to spill over at any minute, but his first thought was of Jaejoong. "Ginny, you shouldn't be here," he said as he positioned himself between Ginny and the Floo where Jaejoong would step out at anytime. "I'm not here to cause trouble, Harry. I just wanted to talk to you before Lily came over." "Ginny, Jaejoong will" He couldn't finish the sentence before Jaejoong stepped into the room. He took one look at Harry and asked softly, "Harry, are you okay?" before noticing they weren't alone and then, "Oh," when he saw Ginny. Harry reached out for Jaejoong's hand, whether to stop him from drawing his wand or just to feel his touch, he wasn't sure. "Ginny," he repeated, "you shouldn't be here." Ginny looked back and forth between the two men and their clasped hands. Harry knew her well, but the expression on her face was one he'd never seen. "I'm sorry, Harry," she said quietly. "Ron told me you were going to see the boys, and about Lily knowing. I ... I should have gone with you. It would have made things easier for them."
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Harry's mouth was gaping. Ginny had always been moody, but to go from hating him with such ferocity to these soft spoken words of apology was a bit much, even for her. "Hello, Jaejoong," she said and Jaejoong nodded. Even he was speechless, but then Harry hadn't told him yet about their earlier confrontation. If he had, he suspected Jaejoong would have plenty to say. "How did they take it?" she finally asked just as the silence of the room was about to become unbearable. "Er, Al was okay, but James ... not so much so." "Look, Harry, about earlier..." Ginny fidgeted and looked around. "Weasley, why don't you sit? I'll get some tea." Jaejoong went to let go of Harry's hand but felt the grasp tighten. He looked at Harry and chuckled. "Or maybe we should all sit?" he asked Harry. "Yeah, I think that'd be good." Harry and Jaejoong sat on the sofa and Ginny sat nervously on the same chair Ron had sat in just yesterday. "God," Harry thought, "it seemed like ages ago." It all seemed so surreal somehow. "So you really are together. I guess I just had to see it with my own eyes." "Look, Ginny" "No, Harry, let me just ... Ron said he told you. That you know about the affairs." Harry nodded uncomfortably and was infinitely grateful when Jaejoong gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "Yeah, I do." "Yet you didn't throw it back in my face earlier when I ... why didnt you?" If Harry had had time to wonder about that before, he would have asked himself the same thing. But, now, the answer was quite obvious. "I'm hardly one to throw stones, Ginny. What you did ... well, after Ron told me, I thought about it and I can't really blame you. I obviously wasn't the husband you wanted." Ginny laughed a small, almost imperceptible laugh. "No, you weren't the husband I thought you would be. But you're still the same man that you were, and if I'd been honest with myself I would have figured it out a long time ago." She turned to Jaejoong with an expression completely void of all emotion. "Jaejoong, I won't pretend that I like you, but my children are the most important thing in this world to me. If you're going to be a part of their lives, we have to figure out a way to put our personal feelings aside. Don't you agree?"
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Jaejoong took one look at the hopefulness in Harry's eyes and knew instantly that he'd agree to anything if it'd make the man happy. "Yes, it would be the mature thing to do." Ginny gave Harry a weak, sad smile that made Harry's heart ache. All of the good times they'd shared flashed through his mind. The births of their children, holidays with his family, Christmases filled with laughter and love. Maybe it wasn't the right kind of love, but it was love. "It wasn't all bad, was it?" he asked quietly. A single tear rolled down Ginny's cheek. "No, it wasn't. You're a good father and I'm sorry that I let my anger cloud my judgement. I won't make this any harder than it has to be and I'll help with the kids. This doesn't mean I've forgiven you, or that I'm not angry and hurt, or that I won't hate you at times, but for the sake of our children, we can at least try to get along." Ginny closed her eyes and tears rolled down her cheeks. "I talked to Lily. She's..." Ginny opened her eyes and stared at Harry. The look of pain was almost overwhelming. Harry wanted to take her into his arms and tell her how sorry he was for hurting her but he knew that he couldn't. "She's such a great kid, Harry. Whatever we did wrong, both of us, we did do something right and we can't let this hurt them any more than it has to." Jaejoong wasn't sure what to do. He was torn between protecting what was his and doing what he knew was right. Harry loved him, he knew that, but he'd obviously cared for his wife too or he wouldn't have lasted fourteen years with her. He could tell this was killing him and he wanted more than anything to help him deal with it. He bit his lip and put his own feelings aside, nudging Harry forward. Harry looked at him, confusion and uncertainty in his eyes. Jaejoong let go of his hand and nodded. Giving Harry permission to comfort his ex-wife was not something he ever thought he would do, but it was exactly what Harry needed. When Ginny let her face fall into her hands and sobbed, Harry moved from the sofa and kneeled at her feet, laying one hand gently on her knee. "I'm so sorry, Ginny. I never meant to hurt you." Ginny wrapped her arms around Harry's neck and cried onto his shoulder. For the first time in fourteen years, perhaps in his entire life, Jaejoong didn't hate Ginny Weasley. He knew how she felt, knew how much it hurt to lose someone you loved and he was struck, once again, by how much Harry was giving up for him. He'd never allowed himself to believe that Harry had loved her. Never admitted that it was possible, and it hurt to see the evidence of it. But in the end, Harry had chosen him and his resolve strengthened to make sure Harry never regretted that decision. They sat that way for what seemed to Jaejoong an eternity. Until eventually there were no more tears to shed. Ginny leaned back, wiping the wetness from her face. She looked at Harry with a softness that made Jaejoong's heart ache. Part of him wished he could see Harry's face and part of him was infinitely grateful that he couldn't. If Harry's expression was anything like hers he wouldn't be able to stand it. He didn't expect her to look up at him, but when she did, what he
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saw astounded him. There was no challenge in her eyes, only defeat and acceptance. It would be an understatement to say that Jaejoong wasnt a trusting soul and he certainly wasn't fool enough to trust his lover's ex-wife without a damn good reason, but something about the look made him think that they now had one less problem to worry about. Maybe it was his love for Sungwoong that convinced him she was genuine in her concern for her children. She was after all, a Weasley, and if there was one thing they were famous for besides their horrible hair, it was their dedication to their children. Whatever it was, whatever had passed between them in that split second, was comforting in a way that made Jaejoong just the slightest bit uneasy. Harry must have sensed his confusion because he looked back and stood quickly, pulling away from Ginny as if he were a child caught doing something he shouldn't. "I'd better go," Ginny said as she, too, stood. "Ron will bring Lily over for dinner. We should probably work out a schedule or something." "Yeah, that'd be good," Harry said, shuffling his feet nervously. Ginny nodded and without another word, took a pinch of Floo powder and was gone. Harry watched her go, feeling like he'd been run through the equivalent of a Muggle washing machine and then hung in the blazing sun to dry. "At the risk of repeating myself ad nauseam," Jaejoong said as he stood and slipped his arms around Harry's waist, "are you okay?" Harry looked up and wanted to escape into those grey eyes. "I don't know, Jaejoong. I just ... thank you." He pulled Jaejoong closer and kissed him, letting himself get lost in the feel of it, the taste of it, to be reminded of why this was happening and why it was worth it. "How much time do we have before dinner?" Jaejoong didn't even check the time. "Enough," he whispered, warding the Floo and pushing Harry gently onto the sofa. He knew what Harry needed, what they both needed. He let his lips and tongue and hands give reassurances that neither of them could voice, made promises that neither of them could break. When clothes had been properly disposed of and he'd kissed every inch of Harry's body Jaejoong stopped and pulled him from the sofa, leading him to their bedroom. Their bedroom, he thought solemnly. This was their home, their life. He hadn't been sure if he'd ever be able to say that. He pushed Harry gently onto the bed and lay down next to him. "Jaejoong, I..." Harry looked up at him with desperate, pleading eyes. "Shh," Jaejoong whispered as he kissed the words away. "I just need to know that you're okay. That this is really what you want." "Fuck, Jaejoong, it's a little late to ask that now, isn't it?"
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Jaejoong closed his eyes and bit his lip. He knew Harry didn't mean it the way it sounded, but it hurt just the same. "I didn't mean" "I know." Jaejoong opened his eyes and stroked Harry's cheek with his fingertips. "But if you need time. If you" "I need you, Jaejoong. I've always needed you, even when I didn't know it. Even when I was stupid enough to think -- I don't know what I'm going to do about James. It kills me to think that he might hate me forever, but I know what we're doing is right. That it was right to finally tell them the truth and this is the truth, Jaejoong. This. Us. I know that now more than I've ever known anything, but I need you to promise me something. TelI me you won't get tired of me. That all the things that annoy you and all the things you hate about me won't eventually drive you away. I couldn't handle losing you again. Will you promise me that, Jaejoong? That no matter what happens, you'll never walk away again?" Jaejoong smiled and rolled on top of Harry, kissing him with all the passion and love that he felt that he'd saved for twelve fucking years. "I'm not sure what all of these things are supposed to be that annoy me. Right now, I can't think of even one. We only fought because I wanted people to know about us and you didn't. I know you weren't ready, and that I was impatient, but I couldn't help myself, Harry. I loved you and I wanted the world to know it. You're not hiding anymore, Harry, and I couldnt walk away now even if I wanted to. If you need me to say it then I will, as many times as it takes until you believe me. I promise you, Harry, I'll never want to walk away, and I never will." "Show me, Jaejoong. Show me that you need me, that you can't live without me." Jaejoong chuckled. "I think I've already shown you a few times." Harry pulled Jaejoong closer and kissed him roughly, plundering his mouth and bruising delicate skin. "Don't ever stop showing me." Jaejoong suddenly found it impossible to speak or even breathe so he simply nodded. He wanted to show Harry, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that what they had was right, that it was real, that it had stood the test of time and that it would never fail them. He pushed into Harry, harder and rougher than he probably should have, but he needed Harry. Needed to feel him, to be surrounded by him, to be part of him. If he could give Harry his soul he would, but this was all he had and he hoped, once again, that it would be enough. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Jaejoong hadn't realised he'd fallen asleep until he opened his eyes. He looked around to see that Harry had already showered and dressed for dinner. "What time is it?" he asked as he got up and walked to the small desk in the corner where Harry was sitting. "Almost six. Lily and Ron will be here soon." "You shouldn't have let me sleep." Harry turned in his chair and smiled. "You needed it." He took the other man's hand in his and kissed each knuckle lightly. "Jaejoong, what you did earlier with Ginny ... thank you." "You already thanked me." "I know, but ... I thought it deserved more than one thanks. It was..." Jaejoong put a finger to Harry's lips and leaned over to kiss him on the temple. "It's love, Harry. It's what two people do when they love each other. They put the needs of the other person before their own. I don't have a lot of experience in doing that, but it seemed the right thing to do at the time." He earnestly hoped that it had been the right thing to do, that he had read the situation correctly, that Ginny Weasley was no longer a threat to their happiness ... and Merlin help her if she was playing a game with Harry's emotions, because that is not a game Jaejoong is willing to lose. Harry pulled Jaejoong into his lap and kissed him gently. "I love you, too, Jaejoong." "I know, Harry. You wouldn't be here if you didn't." Jaejoong smiled, trying to chase all thoughts of the Weaslette from his mind. "Now, what are you doing?" Harry showed Jaejoong the parchment he'd been scribbling on. With an arched brow, Jaejoong read the first line. "To the editor of the Daily Prophet, from Harry James Potter." Jaejoong looked back to Harry inquisitively. "You're sure you want to do that?" "Yeah, I'm sure. I've told everyone I need to tell; it's time the rest of the world found out as well." Jaejoong nodded and brushed his lips softly against Harry's. "I should get dressed. Ron won't appreciate my naked body the way you do." Harry stared at Jaejoong with wide, expressive eyes. "What?" "You called him Ron, not Weasley." Jaejoong smirked. "Well if I call him Weasley, what will I call that red-headed vixen of an exwife of yours?"
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Harry laughed and held Jaejoong tighter. "You could call her Ginny, you know." Jaejoong shook his head. "Don't push your luck, Potter. I'll be nice, but not that nice, and if you ask me to call her Mrs. Potter, I'll have to cut out your tongue." "Idle threat. You'd miss it too much," Harry said as he kissed Jaejoong deeply, using said tongue to tease and explore every soft crevice of his mouth. He loved the way Jaejoong's mouth accepted him so willingly, the tiny jolt of electricity that ran through him when their tongues met, the soft humming sounds that Jaejoong didn't even realise he made when they kissed like this. "Mm," Jaejoong practically moaned as he pulled away from the kiss. "You're probably right about that, but I'm sure I could think of a fitting punishment." "A-hem." Harry cleared his throat and smirked as he glanced down at Jaejoong's hardening erection. "I think someone needs a cold shower before my daughter and her overly-protective uncle get here." Jaejoong grunted and let his head fall to Harry's shoulder. "No, just the mention of Uncle Ron did the trick, but a shower would be nice none the less." He attempted to pull away and stand but Harry held him in place. "I love you, my Dragon." Smiling down at Harry softly, Jaejoong ran his fingers along Harry's cheek. "I know," he whispered. "Now let me go shower before I rip your clothes off and have my wicked way with you." Harry looked up as if considering his options when the doorbell rang. He smirked. "Can I take a rain check on that?" Jaejoong rolled his eyes and pulled free of Harry's embrace. "Your child awaits. I won't be long." ~TBC~
Back to Index Chapter 10: Twelve Years Later Disclaimer: I am not JKR. I receive no monetary gain from this story. I make no claim to any of the characters and mean no offence by any actions they take. All characters depicted in sexual
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situations are above the age of consent. Thank you so much to Sesheta66 for beta and ninive for helping me with my Latin translations! You guys are the best! Twelve Years Later Chapter 10 The Youngest Potter When the door opened Lily was beaming, and Harry felt he could put of his worries aside, at least for a little while. "Hi, Dad," she said as she tore into the house looking all around. Harry laughed as she went, her excitement rubbing off on him, until he noticed her Uncle standing outside the door looking sheepish. He'd almost forgotten about being angry that Ron had let Ginny through the Floo earlier. Harry had given him access in case of an emergency with the kids and Ron had taken advantage of his trust. "So, why bother ringing the bell? Why not just Floo right in and make yourself at home?" "Harry, I" "Daddy!" Lily interrupted, as she appeared at his side. "Can I see my room?" Harry trailed his fingers through his daughter's bright red hair and grinned, shooting Ron a look that said we'll finish this later. "Of course, your highness," he teased, "right this way." He made a sweeping motion with his hand and led them into a room that looked very much like Lily's room at home. She immediately started opening cupboards and examining the various toys and books that Harry had furnished. Harry turned back to Ron and scowled. "Sorry, mate," Ron said without backing down. "She's my sister, and she promised not to cause trouble. I figured you at least owed her a few minutes to listen to what she had to say." "And the fact that Jaejoong was here and quite capable of hexing her into next week didn't occur to you?" Ron snorted. "Ginny doesn't need protection. She would have been perfectly capable of handling Jaejoong if it came to it" "I can't believe" "Wait," Ron said, holding his hand up stubbornly. "I was about to say that I knew it wouldn't come to that. She wasn't here to cause trouble, and I knew Jaejoong wouldn't do anything without justification." Harry stared at Ron, wondering once again, who exactly the man was. "Did you just say"
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"Yeah, that I trusted Jaejoong not to cause problems unless he had to defend himself. I'm not dense, Harry, however hard that is for you to get through your thick skull. It's obvious the man worships the ground you walk on, and he's Slytherin; he's not going to risk pissing you off by hexing the mother of your children without provocation." A deep chuckle made both men turn toward the doorway. "Very good, Weasley. I hate to admit that you're correct in your assumptions. However, it probably wasn't the most prudent decision you'd ever made." Ron laughed. "I never said it was sensible, Jaejoong. I just said I knew it wouldn't blow up in my face." The sight of Ron and Jaejoong in agreement over the incident somehow made it seem too insignificant to fight over. Harry reached a hand out, which Jaejoong moved to take without hesitation. "I have someone I'd very much like you to meet," Harry said softly as his eyes landed on Lily, who was chatting with the ornate new dolls she'd found on her bed. Jaejoong swallowed audibly and Ron raised an amused eyebrow in his direction. "Scared of a nine-year-old, Jaejoong?" Ron asked with cheeky grin. Harry could tell the glare Jaejoong shot Ron no longer carried the malice of old. It was something he never thought he'd see, and it would take a bit of getting used to. "Lily, honey, would you like to meet Jaejoong?" Lily scurried from her bed and ran toward the three men, stopping suddenly in front of Jaejoong to examine him like one of Neville's newly discovered plants. "Hello," Jaejoong said politely, holding out his right hand. "It's a delight to finally meet you. Your father has told me a great deal about you." Lily giggled. "You talk funny," she said as she held out her hand. "But you're cute." "Lily!" Harry yelled in astonishment. "What?" she asked innocently. "Don't you think so?" Jaejoong watched Harry's expression with amusement and Ron barely contained a boisterous laugh. Harry, feeling outnumbered, scowled. "I happen to think he's bloody gorgeous, but it's still not an appropriate comment to make to an adult." Lilly giggled again and tugged on Jaejoong's hand to pull him forward. "Sorry, Dad, I was just trying to be polite." She climbed onto her bed and sat cross-legged, holding up two tiny doll's robes for Jaejoong's inspection. "If you were going to a fancy ball, which robe would you wear?"
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she asked seriously. Jaejoong tilted his head and gave each tiny robe his utmost consideration. "Well, if it were me, I'd wear the emerald one, because it would bring out the colour of my date's eyes." He glanced back at Harry and smiled. "But if I were choosing a robe for your father, then..." Jaejoong dug around in the pile of clothes spread out on the bed. "Then I would choose this one," he said with a flourish as he held up a deep wine coloured robe. "Only I'd have to make a few minor changes." Lily watched with a mixture of trepidation and wonder as Jaejoong's wand slid from his sleeve into his hand. "May I?" he asked politely. "Oh, yes, please!" Lily answered, nodding with anticipation. "Sericum Delicatum," Jaejoong whispered, and the inexpensive cloth morphed into a shimmering, delectable silk. Lily gasped and her eyes lit up with excitement. "Hmm," Jaejoong mused. "Better, but still not quite right. "Pictura Textilis," he said, and a golden thread stitched itself around the collar in an intricate, curling pattern. Jaejoong glanced at Lily's astonished face and winked. "Necto," he added, and a shining gold clasp appeared at the neck of the robe. "There," Jaejoong said dramatically. "Now that is something that would suit your father, don't you think?" Lily bounced off the bed and threw herself into her father's arms. "I like him Daddy! Can we keep him?" Harry picked her up and held her tightly, looking over her shoulder with glistening eyes at the man who never ceased to amaze him. "Yes, angel, we're definitely keeping him." She scurried down and bounced back onto the bed with the excitement of a three-year-old. "Can we do some more before dinner?" she asked Jaejoong hopefully. "Lily" "Of course we can," Jaejoong interrupted, waving Harry away with a grin. "Which should we do next? Will our handsome wizard be escorting a witch or a wizard to the ball?" Lily giggled again and blushed lightly. "A witch, I think," she answered shyly. It warmed Harry's heart to see the two of them getting along so well and he wanted to stay and watch, but Ron was dragging him from the room. "Well, that was something I never thought I'd see," Ron said as the door closed behind them. "He's full of surprises, Ron. You have no idea."
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Ron grimaced a bit, which made Harry chuckle. "Well, with that too, but that's not what I was talking about." As they sat, waiting for dinner, Harry filled Ron in on what had happened at Hogwarts with the boys, and what had happened when they arrived to find Ginny waiting for them. Ron was saddened by James' reaction, but he wasn't at all surprised. What did surprise him, although he tried hard not to show it, was Jaejoong's reaction to Ginny. When she had told him, Ron had brushed it off as Ginny's proclivity towards exaggeration, but Harry's version of the events had been identical. Ron was having a difficult time reconciling the Kim he had thought he'd known, with the one he was faced with now. "Damn," Harry swore suddenly. "I didn't even ask Jaejoong how it went with Sungwoong today. Fuck, I don't even know if he's told his parents." He glanced at Ron with a pained look. "I've been a self-centred bastard. I don't know why he puts up with me sometimes." Before Ron could respond, Harry felt a gentle squeeze on his shoulder. "It went fine, and yes they know," Jaejoong answered as he rounded the sofa and sat next to Harry. "And you have not been a self-centred bastard." "Jaejoong, I'm sorr" "Don't," Jaejoong interrupted. "You've had a lot on your mind. There's no need to apologize." Harry smiled, and once again, Ron was at a loss as to where this considerate man had been hiding all these years. "I can't imagine Jaejoong Senior took the news well," Ron said, thinking that was perhaps the understatement of the century. Jaejoong laughed sardonically. "He wasn't exactly pleased." Harry recognised the tone of Jaejoong's voice and the tight muscles in his jaw. Signs that whatever his father had said to him had hurt more than he would ever admit. "What did he say?" Harry asked gently. "He forbade me from ever seeing you again," Jaejoong answered with another mirthless laugh. "Which is rather ridiculous, considering I'm a thirty-seven year old man." "Jaejoong, I" "It's alright, Harry." Jaejoong looked up and Harry could see in his eyes that he was being truthful, but he couldn't understand how. He knew how much Jaejoong loved his parents. The thought of being the one to come between them was unsettling. "I managed to convince him it was in his best interest to accept the situation." "How?"
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"I told him either he accepted you as part of my life, or Sungwoong and I would no longer be a part of his. Like I said, he wasn't pleased, but you don't have to worry about him interfering." Ron couldn't help but be impressed. Junki had paid his debt to mankind after the war, playing the part of the betrayed, misguided victim so convincingly that not only the Ministry, but even the public had bought the story. It hadn't taken long before he'd built the Kim reputation back to its previous glory and he remained a formidable enemy to anyone who opposed his views and ideas. As much as Ron detested the man, he had to admit he'd done nothing illegal since Voldemort's fall. Ron knew this with absolute certainty because he'd made it his mission in life to know if he did. "Do you think you can take his word on that, Jaejoong?" Jaejoong snorted and shot Ron a knowing look. "You, of all people, know the answer to that." Ron flushed when he realised that Jaejoong must know he'd been keeping a closer-thannecessary eye on his father. "Not even Junki can worm his way out of an Unbreakable Vow," Jaejoong said haughtily. "What? Jaejoong, you didn't?" Harry didn't know whether to be horrified or proud. A single eyebrow arched in challenge. "I did, and I'd do it again," Jaejoong answered in a tone that left no room for argument. "Nothing ... no one, is going to come between us ever again. I promise you that, Harry, and I mean it like I've never meant anything in my life." Harry suddenly wished Ron and Lily weren't there. The fire in Jaejoong's eyes was so intense he wanted it to consume him. He wanted to take Jaejoong into his arms and kiss him to within an inch of his life. He wanted to tell him over and over again how much he loved him, needed him, wanted him. How lucky he was to have him in his life and that no matter what happened, nothing would ever tear them apart again. Jaejoong's eyes softened and Harry had an unbelievable feeling that the man could read his mind. That he somehow knew and understood exactly what Harry felt. Ron cleared his throat and both men looked up at him as if they'd forgotten he was there. "Okay guys, telekinesis is just too weird, okay?" "Tele ... what?" Jaejoong asked, confused. Ron snorted and waved his hand. "Just a Muggle thing Hermione was trying to explain to me the other day, never mind." "Speaking of Granger," Jaejoong said, grabbing the chance to veer the conversation away from the potentially volatile subject of his family, "she's been conspicuously silent about all of this, hasn't she?"
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Ron shook his head and laughed. "My wife is never silent about anything, Jaejoong. She's just been out of town. She'll more than make up for it when she gets back in a few days, trust me." Harry laughed in agreement and Jaejoong cringed just the slightest bit. Amazingly, he was somewhat used to Ron's presence, but Granger was a different animal all together. They had managed to be civil back when he and Harry were just friends. He'd made all the proper apologies for his past behaviour and he grudgingly respected the woman's intelligence, but her know-it-all attitude still annoyed him to no end. He knew, though, how much her support would mean to Harry, so he'd do his best not to bite her head off. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dinner went remarkably well. Harry tried not to think about James, about what he must be thinking or how he must be feeling. He concentrated on Lily and Jaejoong. On how well they were getting along. Jaejoong had turned on the charm and Lily had fallen right into his clutches. Even Ron seemed engaged in Jaejoong's conversations about business and the newest Ministry restrictions involving something or other. Harry wasn't really keeping up. They all seemed to be getting on like they'd known each other for years. It was more than Harry had ever hoped for, far more than he'd expected. But fuck, Jaejoong was charming when he wanted to be. Harry wondered if he'd always been that way. If this was the Jaejoong that Pansy had known and cared for so deeply. If this was why Goyle and Crabbe had followed him blindly for so long. He was used to Jaejoong being like this around him, but he'd never seen him interact this way with other people. Sure, he'd seen him around Marsalis, but that was different. They'd been married, for Merlin's sake. He wondered if he really knew Jaejoong as well as he'd thought. Harry was ashamed to realise that he was jealous. Jealous that Jaejoong was sharing this part of himself with someone other than him. But how stupid is that? Harry asked himself. This was what he wanted. For his children to love Jaejoong as much as he did. For his friends to accept him as one of their own. He realised he'd never expected it to happen. That somehow he'd thought Jaejoong would forever remain his and his alone. It was confusing to be pleased and annoyed about the same thing. He watched how easily Jaejoong handled himself, how likable he seemed. Harry didn't know the Jaejoong that everyone liked. He knew the Jaejoong that everyone hated. The Jaejoong he would have to stick up for and defend in earnest. He should have been pleased, but he wasn't. After dinner, Ron said his goodbyes, claiming he had an early morning meeting, and Lily bounded off to get ready for bed, leaving the two men alone. "You've been terribly quiet," Jaejoong said, watching Harry curiously. "What's going through that tiny brain of yours?" Harry shook his head and pulled Jaejoong against him, feeling oddly possessive. He stared into the fire, trying to figure out how to answer that question without sounding like a complete fool.
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"I don't know, it's ... stupid, really." Jaejoong cocked his head sideways and waited, but Harry seemed unwilling to continue. "I thought dinner went well, didn't you?" he prodded. "Yeah. Fantastic. Lily adores you already. How could she not? And Ron..." Harry sighed, still trying to sort out the confused feelings. "I obviously don't know the man as well as I thought I did." A quite tension hung in the air as Harry continued to stare into the fire. "Then it must be me," Jaejoong said finally. "Did I do something ... wrong?" Harry shook his head and snorted. "No, Jaejoong. You were bloody brilliant." Jaejoong huffed, not from annoyance, but from frustration. He didn't understand why Harry wasn't jumping for joy. They were finally getting what they'd always wanted. His family had accepted them. Harry's family and friends were making an effort to understand and be supportive. Why was Harry not feeling the same jubilation that he was feeling? It had to be ... "Are you worried about James?" Jaejoong asked, feeling like he was clutching at straws. "No. Well, yeah, but that's not..." Jaejoong huffed again and pulled away, frustration turning into irritation. "Then what the bloody hell is it? Or are you expecting me to play this fucking guessing game all night?" Jaejoong bit his lip, already regretting that he'd never learned to control his temper where Harry was concerned. The man brought out the best in him, but unfortunately, he also brought out the worst. Harry looked startled for a moment, but then something inside him shifted back into place. "Thanks," he said smiling, almost laughing at how much of an idiot he was. "For what?" Jaejoong snapped, frustrated again at how confusing the man could be. Harry leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on Jaejoong's lips. "For reminding me of who you are. I'm not going to say any more because you'll just laugh and tell me what an idiot I am and I would be forced to agree with you. But do me a favour, will you?" "Maybe," Jaejoong said, relieved and somehow amused. "Don't ever change, okay?" Jaejoong laughed, sensing that whatever crisis Harry had formulated this time had been put to rights. "Couldn't, even if I wanted to," he said smugly just as Lily re-entered the room to say goodnight. "So, Lily, I take it your room is okay?" Harry asked, still grinning from his epiphany. His
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realisation that it didn't matter if he knew everything about Jaejoong, because he would always be the same man he fell in love with a lifetime ago. It didn't matter whether people hated Jaejoong or not, because what truly mattered was that Jaejoong loved him. He didn't need Harry to protect him or stick up for him. All he needed from Harry was love, and that was something he had more than enough of. "It's perfect," she said with a broad smile, directed not at Harry, but at Jaejoong. "At least it is now. Can we show him?" "Well, he'll find out eventually anyway, won't he?" Jaejoong answered as he stood, tugging on Harry's hand. Lily took Harry's other hand and began dragging him toward her bedroom. "Jaejoong?" Harry's tone was apprehensive, but Jaejoong simply smiled mysteriously and gave him a nudge forward. They entered the room, and Harry looked around curiously. Nothing seemed out of place. Lily's dolls were dancing to phantom music coming from the dollhouse that had become an elegant palace at her request. The bed was neatly made with pillows of various shapes and sizes thrown about haphazardly. Lily's clothes had been unpacked and hung neatly in her wardrobe. "What?" he asked, perplexed. Lily giggled. "Can I do it?" "Do you remember the spell?" Jaejoong asked, and Lily nodded excitedly. "Then yes, you may," he answered and handed Lily his wand. She held it tightly and waved it just as Jaejoong had shown her. "Notionis Imago." The room shimmered slightly before blazing with colour. The ceiling turned into a bright blue sky with clouds drifting overhead, the walls turned into scenic murals of fields covered in every shade of flower imaginable, and Harry could just make out the snow-capped mountains off in the distance. But the most impressive was the wall next to Lily's bed, which sported the most glorious sunset Harry had ever seen, aflame with brilliant pinks, purples, and oranges. Lily beamed proudly and swept her arms around in a circle. "Isn't it beautiful, Dad?" Harry inhaled the sweet scent of the flowers and felt the breeze that swept the clouds overhead. He smiled at his daughter, thrilled with the look of sheer joy on her face. "Yes, princess, it is beautiful." He felt Jaejoong's fingers snake around his and he wanted to pull the man into his arms and thank him just for being. "That's quite a powerful witch you have there, Harry. I wasn't able to do that charm alone until I had my own wand."
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Lily smiled so proudly Harry thought her face might split in two. "Yes, well, my powerful little witch needs to get to bed now, doesn't she?" Lily glanced at Jaejoong and he nodded. She waved Jaejoong's wand, again whispering, "Notionis Imago," and the sun quickly completed its journey, the room darkened into night and the stars twinkled overhead. Lily retuned Jaejoong's wand, gave both Harry and Jaejoong a goodnight hug, and crawled into bed. Both men said their goodnights and walked silently back into the sitting room. "Well?" Jaejoong asked as Harry curled into his arms. "What do you think?" Harry tilted his face to Jaejoong and kissed him softly. "I think you're amazing." Jaejoong smirked and got that devilish twinkle in his eye that told Harry he was about to find out just how amazing. "I think it's time for bed." Harry grinned, glancing at the clock. "It's not even ten yet." "I know." Jaejoong let his fingers drift up from where they rested on Harry's thigh. "I didn't say it was time to sleep," he whispered just as his fingers trailed across the slight bulge in Harry's trousers. Harry closed his eyes when he felt the squeeze of Apparition and opened them to find them both lying in their bed. He pulled Jaejoong on top of him without hesitation, not worrying about what tomorrow would bring. TBC Back to Index Chapter 11: Twelve Years Later Disclaimer: I am not JKR. I receive no monetary gain from this story. I make no claim to any of the characters and mean no offence by any actions they take. All characters depicted in sexual situations are above the age of consent. Feedback: Rocks my world! Thank you to the always wonderful Sesheta_66 for finding my endless mistakes! Twelve Years Later - Chapter 11 - An Owl a Day The next few weeks passed in a blur for both men. Hermione finally arrived home from her trip and reamed Harry a new one for not telling them about Jaejoong ages ago. Her dissertation on friendship and respect and honesty lasted for what
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seemed like hours, until she had finally broken down and cried. "Hermione," Harry asked, looking toward Ron for guidance. "What ... why..." Hermione hugged him tightly and sobbed on his shoulder before finally speaking. "How could you have lived like this for twelve years, Harry? How can you live without the person you love, knowing they're just across town, without being able to touch them, to hold them? How did you live like that?" Harry's eyes were glassy when he looked up over Hermione's shoulder to where Jaejoong stood feeling like he was witnessing something that he shouldn't be privy to. Harry had told him many times that Granger had an uncanny ability to empathise. That be it witch, wizard, or house-elf, she could put herself in their shoes and understand how they really felt, sometimes even when they wouldn't admit it. After seeing it with his own eyes, he wasn't nearly as sceptical about her position as a Senior Healer in the Psychiatric ward at St Mungo's. Even Jaejoong, as cynical as he would like to have been, had to admit it was a touching display of friendship. But Harry's answer threatened to rip his heart from his chest. "I don't know, Hermione. I just knew I had to make the best of it until the time came when I could have all those things. I had to have faith that what Jaejoong and I shared wouldn't dissipate with time or distance. That the promises we made would be honoured eventually. And they have been." Hermione wiped her eyes, looking up at Jaejoong. "You truly love him?" she asked frankly. Jaejoong pursed his lips and nodded. "Yes, Granger, I do." Before he had a chance to say more, he found himself with an armful of soft, female flesh and a face full of bushy brown hair. The hug was unexpected enough, but the warm kiss to his cheek was enough to make him wonder what planet he'd inadvertently Apparated to. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ With the publication of Harry's letter came cries of both outrage and support. A constant migration of Gryffindors passed through their front door, some swearing and spouting accusations, some quietly supportive but seemingly confused. They all left eventually, satisfied that no harm would befall their Golden Boy. It made Jaejoong's wand hand twitch, but he bit his tongue and remained quiet. Pansy Parkinson-Lewitt , Blaise Zabini, and Daphne Greengrass made an appearance, carrying on polite conversations about politics and the current state of affairs in the wizarding world. Harry had been baffled that they had not once asked about his and Jaejoong's relationship, until Jaejoong had patiently explained that they had learned all they needed from simple observation. "The way I made your tea, the way you draped your arm around my shoulder protectively, the way Kreacher responded to both of us as the masters of the house, the photographs of my parents on the mantelpiece next to yours. Slytherins would rather not ask, because words can easily hide the truth. They'd much rather see the facts and deduce the truth for themselves."
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Harry had shaken his head and mumbled, "Bloody Slytherins," to which Jaejoong had laughed and dragged him off to their bedroom to teach him all about deductive reasoning. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ginny, true to her word, had outlined a schedule for Lily's visits, allowing Harry to see her as often as he wished. Lily had settled into her second home and her new situation comfortably, and glared at anyone who dared to speak disparagingly of Jaejoong in her presence. Harry received regular letters from Al. Yet he'd not heard from James, even though he'd sent several letters to his son. It was the only black spot on an otherwise perfect life. Until the owls started arriving from Hogwarts. At first they brushed it off as typical mischief making and didn't worry too much about it, but over the weeks they became more frequent in number. After the third owl in one week, they decided they needed to have a talk with their boys. Harry owled the Headmistress to make an appointment, and she arranged it so they could Floo directly into her office. "Mr Potter, Mr Jaejoong," Headmistress McGonagall said dutifully. "I wish you were visiting under more pleasant circumstances." "Yeah, me too, Headmistress," Harry said, raking his hand through his messy hair. "Me too," he repeated solemnly. "Yes, well, unfortunately we aren't, so would you mind if we speak with the boys straight away, please?" Jaejoong asked politely, but sternly. Minerva McGonagall pursed her lips tightly, as if she were biting back words, but nodded curtly. "You may use my office. I've some business to attend to elsewhere." "Minerva," Harry asked quietly, not sure why he'd chosen to use her given name. "Is this just house rivalry, like the boys say? Or is there something else I should know about?" The Headmistress turned, cocked her head curiously, and sighed. "I do not know, Harry. If there is, we've been unable to ascertain exactly what. But there hasn't been this much tension between two houses since..." She paused and then smiled sadly. "Since you two were here." She laid her hand on Harry's shoulder and gave it a slight, encouraging squeeze. "I'll have the boys sent right up," she said, before exiting the room. Jaejoong watched Harry curiously. "What are you thinking?" "I have a bad feeling about this, Jaejoong. I don't know what..." Harry shook his head to try to dispel his thoughts. "I just don't know." ~~~~~~~~~~~
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Both boys sat stony faced listening to their fathers ranting about acceptance and the need to get along with others. "How soon they forget," Al mumbled under his breath. Sungwoong tried not to smile, but the corners of his mouth twitched of their own accord. "Sungwoong Severus Jaejoong, this is not a laughing matter." Jaejoong's voice seemed to be made of steel. "I know, Father," Sungwoong said respectfully. "But I must say, you're blowing this far out of proportion." Jaejoong arched a white brow in his son's direction. "Out of proportion?" he asked calmly. "What exactly has necessitated my receipt of three owls this week, stating that my son" Jaejoong paused and looked pointedly at Albus, "and his best friend, have been given detention for hexing children in the hall?" Sungwoong held his chin high, ever the proud Jaejoong heir that he was raised to be. "They deserved what they got, Father. My only regret was that we were caught." "Yes, well, had you not been caught then I wouldn't be here, now would I?" Jaejoong's voice held a warning, and Sungwoong faltered momentarily, but still held his own. Harry could tell Jaejoong was trying to be stern, but he could see pride twinkling in his grey eyes. He'd raised Sungwoong to be his own person and make his own decisions about what was right and wrong. The boy was proving he had the courage to do as he was taught, even against his own father. If Jaejoong had been able to do that at eleven, Harry wondered how differently things would have turned out. "Al," he interrupted. "If there are reasons, tell us what they are, and we can deal with them in the proper manner." Al sat in silence. He didn't have the Kim elegance, but his defiance was obvious nonetheless. "I can't tell you, Dad. You just have to trust me, okay?" Harry rubbed his eyes despairingly and wondered what his own father would do. He knew Sirius would say they were just kids having a bit of fun. That they should be more careful to not get caught. He knew Dumbledore would trust them to make the right decisions, and to learn from their mistakes when and if they made the wrong ones. But he found it difficult to sit back and watch his son... watch his son, what? Grow up. Make mistakes. Get hurt. He wanted to protect Albus as he had felt no one had protected him. "We do trust you," Jaejoong answered for both of them. "But you must understand that running around school hexing your classmates for no apparent reason is not a wise thing to do." "We have reasons," Sungwoong retorted.
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"What reasons, Sungwoong?" "Because they're Gryffindors," Sungwoong said in exasperation. "They're arrogant, unyielding, narcissistic, obstinate, self-absorbed, egotistical idiots!" Jaejoong's eyebrows shot up in surprise and Harry chuckled, making all three heads turn. "Speaking as a Gryffindor, I think I can say that's not always the case," Harry said with a wide smile. Sungwoong gave Harry an apologetic look. "I meant no disrespect, Mr Potter, but the Gryffindors we're dealing with are all those things, and worse." Harry looked from one boy to the other until his eyes settled on his own son. "One of these arrogant, obstinate idiots wouldn't happen to be your brother, would he?" Al looked away sheepishly, and Harry had his answer, although he wasn't sure what to do with it. Harry looked to Jaejoong for guidance, knowing his emotions might hinder him from making a logical decision. "I think we should trust their judgement, Harry. We've raised them right, we have to give them a chance to show us they've listened and learned." Harry nodded his agreement and the boys both breathed a sigh of relief. They gave their respective fathers hugs before disappearing back to their common room. "I hope we don't regret this," Harry mumbled as he stared at the closed door. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` The owls from the Headmistress decreased over the next few weeks. Harry and Jaejoong both hoped it was a decrease in incidents as opposed to a decrease in getting caught, but either way, it was an improvement. Jaejoong began working more and more, to make up for the work he'd missed while devoting so much time to Harry. This often left Harry alone and bored, so when he got the owl from Kingsley asking if he was ready to go back to work, he didn't hesitate in answering. Jaejoong arrived home that evening to find the dining room table set with fine china, crisp linen napkins, flickering candles, and a bottle of the finest wine money could buy. He raised a curious eyebrow and smiled. "What are we celebrating? I didn't forget an anniversary, did I?" Harry wrapped his arms around Jaejoong's waist and kissed him fervently. Even after these last few months together, it still seemed so new, so miraculous, to have Jaejoong in his arms, to be able to touch and kiss him whenever he wanted. And Merlin did he want to. All the time, it seemed. Jaejoong was like the worst kind of addiction. The kind where the more you got, the more you needed. Harry craved him like he craved the sun. It was completely and totally
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irrational, but there was nothing for it. Except to maybe get his mind off of it before it drove him insane. "I had lunch with Kingsley today. He wants me to come back to work." A wide smile split Jaejoong's face. "Finally! No more moping around complaining about being bored all day," Jaejoong teased. "Oh, shut it, you. If you didn't feel compelled to run that bloody business of yours and stayed home to service me all day then I would have had nothing to complain about." Jaejoong smirked. "Well, if you put it like that, I might just run the family business into the ground so I don't have to go to work every day." "Mmm," Harry replied, melting into Jaejoong's arms. His skin tingled with the sensations of having Jaejoong so close, the faint scent of his cologne making him feel light-headed and just a bit giddy. Jaejoong's hands roamed up and down his back, finding their way under the hem of his shirt, which he'd left untucked just for that reason. "Merlin, Harry, how do you do this to me every single time?" Jaejoong whispered hoarsely. "I can't even be in the same room with you without needing to touch your skin, taste your lips, feel your ... fuck, Harry, can dinner wait?" Harry groaned involuntarily. Hell, yes, dinner could wait. It could wait until breakfast for all he cared, because he was pretty sure he had all the nourishment he needed right here. He attacked Jaejoong's lips once again, this time letting his tongue explore and play for as long as it wanted to ... or until the owl breaks through the window, Harry thought. "As much as I hate to stop, we should probably get that," Jaejoong whispered against Harry's lips. Harry released Jaejoong reluctantly and allowed him to stride to the window. The owl hooted loudly and dropped one scroll in Jaejoong's hand before swooping to Harry with another. The two men exchanged a worried look before tearing open their respective notes. "Fuck!" "Bloody hell!" Without a word, they both grabbed a handful of Floo powder and called out, "The Three Broomsticks." TBC Back to Index Chapter 12: Twelve Years Later
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I know, it's been forever, but there was a major plot upheaval little change in plans that took some time to work out, but now we're all good. :-) As always, thanks go out to the amazing sesheta_66 for beta and hand holding. Twelve Years Later Chapter 12 Welcome to the Twilight Zone
Neither Harry nor Jaejoong could have ever anticipated the sight that met them when they stepped from the Floo. It was like some eerie dream. Like one of those horror shows Harry had seen when he would sneak downstairs to watch the telly while the Dursleys were asleep. Two boys sat at a table in the corner of the room, their arms somehow attached to the tabletop where they rested as if they'd melded to the very grain of the rustic wood, each boy's lips stitched together in some freakish semblance of a buttonhole that hadn't been sewn correctly. Both faces showed identical expressions of panic and fear, eyes darting frantically back and forth between two smaller boys standing in front of them, like miniature mercenaries with wands raised. "What the hell is going on here?" Jaejoong laid a hand on the small of Harry's back in a comforting gesture that would normally calm him instantly, but this time, it wasn't nearly enough. "Language please, Mr Potter." Harry turned to the unnervingly calm voice of Minerva McGonagall. How she could just stand there looking so unperturbed astounded him. It was then that he noticed there were no other patrons standing about gawking at the scene before him, not even a barman in sight, and he wondered exactly how long this standoff had gone on before the Headmistress had deemed it necessary to notify them. He cringed slightly at the thought, wondering if Ginny had been notified as well and what would happen if or when she showed up. He hoped she wouldn't blame him and ruin the tentative peace they seemed to have worked out. "Everything is fine, Harry. We just need you to convince the boys to release the spell. They said they needed to talk to you two before they would." Harry hadn't even noticed Neville standing in the shadows behind the imprisoned boys until he had spoken. He sputtered and was about tell Al to take off the damn spell or he'd be grounded for the rest of his natural life when Jaejoong beat him to it. "Sungwoong, end the spell." Jaejoong's voice was laced with more warning than Harry could have ever voiced. "Not until they agree to apologise and tell you what they were up to." "Sungwoong," Jaejoong answered more firmly with a glint in his eye that would have frightened the Giant Squid. "Take. Off. The. Spell." Sungwoong raised his chin in defiance, returning Jaejoong's gaze with identical eyes of steel.
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"No, Father." Jaejoong stepped forward, changing tactics as only a Slytherin could. "Son, I don't know what they've done, but whatever it is, this isn't the way to deal with it." "You taught me to do what was right, Father. What I truly believed was right, not what others told me was right. You told me I should never follow blindly and that sometimes breaking rules was the only way to stand up to those who threaten your beliefs. Do you remember that?" "Yes, son, but this" "No! There are no buts, Father. They've been horrible to us ever since James told them about you and Mr Potter. What right do they have to treat any of us like second-class citizens just because you're gay? How does that make them any better than Death Eaters?" Jaejoong cast a sideways glance at Harry before answering. "Sungwoong, I understand what you're saying and we'll talk about it. But right now I need you to take off the spell so Professor Longbottom can get these boys back to the school and make sure they're all right." The boys made no move to lower their wands and Harry sighed heavily, removing his glasses to rub his eyes as though he could wipe away the sight before him. When he spoke, his voice sounded more tired than angry. "Al, take off the spell and we can sort this all out. Then I want to know where that spell came from. I doubt very seriously it came from any of your textbooks." He tried to ignore the nervous glance the two boys shared. Sungwoong locked eyes with his father for a split second before waving his wand, whispering a spell none of the adults recognised. The boy's mouths reformed on their faces and their arms shimmered and morphed back into their previous human shapes. Neville rushed forward to make sure each boy was all right, but neither of them seemed to want to enlighten their Professor about why they were in Hogsmeade on a decidedly non-Hogsmeade day or why the younger boys had seen fit to hex them. The Headmistress stood oddly silent with a Dumbledore-like glint in her stern eyes. "Minerva, can we talk to our sons?" She nodded, motioning to Neville to remove the two boys who were still eerily silent as they eyed Al and Sungwoong with uncertainty and Jaejoong with what could only be interpreted as fear. "You may talk to them here. I trust you to get them back to their dorms safely and I expect to speak with all four of you in my office first thing tomorrow morning." As they watched the boys being herded out, Sungwoong turned to his father and bowed his head. "I'll accept whatever punishment you deem fit, Father." "Damn right you will," Jaejoong answered coolly.
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"I'm sorry to have caused so much trouble, but I did what I felt was right." Before Jaejoong had a chance to respond, Al was next to his friend. "It wasn't his fault. I talked him into following them. He only came with me to try to keep me out of trouble." Sungwoong lips twitched into a tiny smile. "I think we're both in for it, Al, but thanks for trying." Harry watched the interaction with interest, thinking that what Al said could very well be true. "Well," he began calmly, "there are several things we need to discuss, but first, where did the spell come from?" "Er, we got it from a book ... in the library," Al answered, shuffling his feet nervously. "Where in the library?" Harry asked cautiously, even though he was quite sure of the answer already. Al slumped into a chair. "The Restricted Section," he mumbled. Jaejoong glanced at Harry with surprise, but said nothing. "I'm sorry, Dad, we just" "Do you realise what kinds of spell books are in the Restricted Section, Al? Do you realise what could have happened if you'd chosen the wrong one?" "We wouldn't have, Dad. Honest. We wouldn't have used it if we weren't sure of how it worked." "How could you be sure, Al?" Harry asked feeling both angry and exasperated, the memory of Sectumsempra too raw in his mind. "I made him test it on me first," Sungwoong answered. "I was certain that it wouldn't hurt them and that it would work the way we wanted it to." "And if it hadn't?" Jaejoong asked angrily, his face pale with what Harry knew was both fear and relief. "Did you think of that?" "Yes, Father, I did. I was certain it would work," Sungwoong repeated with more confidence than any eleven-year-old should have. Harry opened his mouth to retort but paused when he felt Jaejoong's warm hand wrap around his wrist. "We'll deal with that later," Jaejoong said more calmly. "What I want you to tell me now is what on earth could have made you lose your faculties long enough to do such an idiotic, Gryffindorish thing? And why are you at the Three Broomsticks at eight o'clock on a Friday evening?" He shot his son a look that was laced with warning. "And I want the truth. All of it."
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Neither adult missed the glances the two boys exchanged, a world of unspoken secrets passing between them in a millisecond. Sungwoong nodded and Al reached into his robe to pull out a large envelope, handing it, not to his dad, but to Jaejoong. "We followed them here," Al answered, standing as straight as humanly possible. "We've been following them for weeks trying to sort out what they were up to." "At dinner we overheard them telling some other Gryffindors about a meeting," Sungwoong continued as if they shared a single stream of consciousness. "They had been talking about getting something that would make you pay for your sins, as they said, and make Mr Potter hate you." "Johnson's Uncle had it in for you, Mr Jaejoong. Apparently, his sister was killed by Voldemort and somehow he blamed you. He and a few of his friends have had you under surveillance for years trying to catch you doing something illegal. We overheard Johnson talking about some pictures that his Uncle had that would ruin your reputation if they turned up in the Prophet." Al turned sad eyes to his dad and finished softly. "James thought that if that happened you'd get back together with Mum." Jaejoong glanced at Harry and instantly saw the hurt in his eyes. He wanted to stop everything and take him into his arms to tell him everything was going to be all right, but he knew he couldn't. He had no idea what could possibly be in the envelope. He had been squeaky clean since the end of the war, knowing that all the Ministry needed was the slightest excuse to make him pay for crimes that many thought he'd escaped without justice. Of course, that wasn't the only reason. It wasn't even the main reason. He'd made Harry a promise. That he wouldn't get into any more trouble, that he'd walk the straight and narrow, as it were. He hadn't hesitated in agreeing and he'd never broken the promise. Not ever. He arched a curious brow at the boys. "Do you know what's in here?" Both boys looked at each other and then promptly at their feet. "Yes," Sungwoong answered quietly. "We didn't know what they were and when we opened it we ... we only saw the first one." Jaejoong felt his heart lurch and opened the envelope before he lost his nerve. He sifted through the pictures feeling such an overwhelming mixture of emotions that he felt dizzy. He wanted to scream and curse and throw things at the wall to see them shatter into a thousand pieces. He wanted to find the men who had invaded his privacy in the worst possible way and hear them beg as he ripped them limb from limb. He wanted to disappear and never look his son in the eye again. It wasn't until he felt the photos being pried from his hands that he thought about Harry. Oh, god, Harry. Jaejoong couldn't even look at him. He couldn't bear to see the pain in his eyes. "I don't care, Father. It was no secret that you were gay. I didn't expect that you'd never they had no right to take those photos in the first place and I wasn't going to let them get into the
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pap" They all gasped when the photos suddenly exploded into a whoosh of fire and when Jaejoong looked into Harry's eyes he saw something he'd never seen before. Hate. Pure, undeniable hate that looked like it came straight from the fiery pits of hell. "You boys need to get back to the castle," Harry said with a calculated coolness that seemed so out of place coming from his lover's lips. "We'll take care of this," he finished and turned, Apparating away without another word. For the first time in years, Jaejoong felt as though his world was crashing at his feet. TBC Back to Index Chapter 13: Twelve Years Later As always, thanks to the wonderful Sesheta_66 for beta genius. Twelve Years Later Chapter 13 Not so Hard to Imagine
It was odd escorting both boys back to the castle alone. Albus reminded him so much of Harry at that age that it was almost painful. He didn't have the glasses, but he had the same god-awful hair, the same perfectly green eyes, the same annoyingly cute grin. Of course, Jaejoong hadn't thought it was a cute grin as a child, but seeing Al as he wished he could have seen Harry was a bit of a shock to his system. The boys were both quiet, exchanging glances that they thought Jaejoong wouldn't see. Despite everything that had happened, he couldn't help but be proud of his son, of both boys really. Albus, it appeared, had inherited not only Harry's looks, but his penchant for trouble as well. More importantly though, he had accepted Jaejoong into his life in much the same way Lily had. He was grateful for that. If only there was a way to get through to James, but it seemed he was more Weasley than Potter. Of course, that was an unfair statement. Ron had accepted him, and however unlikely it was, he thought perhaps Ginny had too in her own way. The rest of the Weasleys? Well, they were coming around slowly but surely. It would take time, but all wounds healed eventually, even if some did leave horrendous scars behind. "You can Obliviate my memory of that photo if you want, Father." Jaejoong looked down at his grinning son and couldn't help but smile. "Is it any worse than the time you walked in on your mother with that?" "Oh, Father, stop! Obliviate that one too. Please." Sungwoong scrunched his eyes closed and groaned.
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"You know, I was about your age when I walked in on your grandmother and grandfather in mid-stroke." Jaejoong chuckled as a blush spread across his son's cheeks and he reached out to ruffle the boy's hair. "I was scarred for life. Still to this day I wonder if that's not the reason I'm gay." The boys both giggled and covered their faces. It was nice to see them laugh. To know that even at such a young age, they could handle this. He was glad Sungwoong had Al to lean on, that they had each other. No one else could possibly understand what they were dealing with. When they reached the door to the Slytherin dorms he wasn't surprised by the tight hug from his son, but he was surprised by the equally tight hug from Harry's son. The boy couldnt possibly know how much it meant, or perhaps he did. He was, after all, a Slytherin. "We'll see you both in the morning to discuss your punishment with the Headmistress. I would suggest you think about what would be suitable." The boys looked at each other and nodded. "My dad will be okay, right?" Albus asked, his worry obvious in his voice as well as his expression. Jaejoong gave him a reassuring smile. "Harry's been through much worse than this, Albus. Don't worry about him; he'll be fine." He only hoped that he was right. ~~~ Thankfully, the common room was empty when they entered, and both boys were too wound up to go straight to bed. They plopped onto the sofa by the fire and stared into it as they tried to digest what had happened and wondered what would happen next. Neither wanted to think about that now. "Your dad's all right," Al said, finally breaking the silence. Sungwoong grinned. "Yeah, he is. To those he likes, anyway." Al shifted uncomfortably in his seat before finally turning to Sungwoong, unsure if he should ask the question that had been on his mind for weeks. "Out with it, Al. You're pants at hiding things from me." Sungwoong's grin widened. Al huffed with annoyance, knowing all too well that it was the truth. "Your dad ... what people say about him. Is it true that he was a Death Eater?" The grin faded from his friend's face and Al was immediately sorry that he'd asked. "I didn't mean" "It's okay, Al. He doesn't talk about it much. He's said that he made a lot of mistakes when he was young, that he believed too much of what he was told, that he trusted too easily. I think ... I
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know Grandfather was, but Father has forbidden him to talk to me about it." Sungwoong paused to pull his knees up against his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around them. "I wonder when they got together, you know, our fathers. I wonder how they went from hating each other to ... you know." The grin was back on Sungwoong's face and Al was glad. He hated to see his friend upset and he allowed the change of topic without hesitation. "I don't know. Sometime after the war, I'd imagine. I suppose that's why they hid it. People probably wouldn't have understood, and I know how much my dad hates publicity. It probably would have been a huge scandal." Al stared at the fire again, lost in thoughts of his dad as a young man in love with his schoolboy rival. It was hard to imagine. He stole a glance at Sungwoong, who was staring into the fire as well, a contemplative expression on his face. Al grinned. Maybe it wasn't so hard to imagine, after all. Sungwoong looked up and smiled. "What?" Al shook his head, unsure of exactly what he'd been thinking. "What do you reckon McGonagall will do to us?" Sungwoong leaned his head back onto the sofa and let out a long sigh. "Father will come up with something reasonable, don't worry." ~~~ Jaejoong considered Apparating home, but without the boys to distract him, his mind went back to Harry's angry eyes and he was afraid he might splinch himself if he tried. The walk back to the Three Broomsticks was pure torture, the photos flashing through his mind along with the fear of what Harry thought about them. He knew, logically, that Harry had no right to be angry at him, but Harry had never been a logical man. It was one of the many things he loved about him, but it didn't ease his anxiety as he stepped from the Floo into a dark, empty room. "Did they get back to the castle okay? Are they all right?" Jaejoong started at the voice, so close in the darkness, and it wasn't until his eyes had adjusted that he saw Harry sitting on the sofa, staring into nothingness. "Yes. They're as well as can be expected, I suppose," Jaejoong answered, falling to the floor at Harry's feet. "Harry, are you angry with me?" Harry turned his face to Jaejoong's, eyes soft and filled with love. The same eyes that smiled at him with such happiness and laughed at him with such humour, that cut through his cool reserve and turned him into a molten ball of fire at a single blink. "I'm so sorry, Jaejoong."
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Relief flooded Jaejoong's veins, melting the ice that seemed to have permeated his entire body. "Why are you sorry? You didn't" "James shouldn't have if I'd never left Ginny, none of this would have happened." "Harry, don't ... please don't say that. I'm not happy with what happened, but if I had a choice between keeping those bloody photos from being splashed all over the Daily Prophet and having you ... you already know what I would choose." Harry pulled Jaejoong from the floor and wrapped him in a hug so tight that Jaejoong thought he might break. "You're not upset that I...?" Jaejoong paused. He didn't really want to hear what Harry thought, but he needed to hear it anyway. "I made my choice then, Jaejoong. You were free to do whatever you wanted. I didn't like seeing it, and yes, I was angry, but not at you. I was furious at the people who had dared to take them, at James for becoming involved in such a malevolent plan, but mostly ... at myself, for being idiotic enough to let you go in the first place." Harry grinned then, a slight, desperate grin. The one that Jaejoong knew meant he was covering his pain for fear it would overwhelm him. "I didn't miss the fact that all the men looked like me, though." Jaejoong felt his cheeks burn. It was the truth. They had all been pathetic substitutions for the man he loved, the man he'd needed so desperately, the man he knew he could never replace. "It was always you that I wanted, Harry. Always y" Harry's lips were on his, hot and demanding, reasserting his ownership of Jaejoong's body, erasing every memory of anyone who had ever touched him. He knew they should be talking about the kids, what they were going to do, how they were going to handle the situation as parents, but there would be time for that in the morning when emotions weren't so raw. Right now, what he needed, what they both needed, was this. This feeling that only Harry could offer - the aching emptiness in his heart that only Harry could ever fill. Harry's lips trailed down his neck, fingers fumbling with buttons until he reached bare skin and it felt as good as it always did. As good as it had felt this morning when Harry had spent hours making him late for work, as good as it had felt years ago, boarded up in their little room at King's Cross station hiding away from the world, as good as it would feel years and years from now when they were both old and grey. His hands tangled into Harry's mop of hair, clinging for all he was worth as Harry took his cock into that beautiful, talented mouth, swirling his tongue just the way Harry knew he liked it. "Oh, fuck, Harry." He didn't even realise the words had formed until he heard them rumble from his lips and he felt himself trembling, all of the emotions of the evening flowing out of him just as his orgasm flowed into Harry's mouth. He was boneless and completely pliable as Harry swiftly removed his trousers, nudging him gently onto his stomach. "Want you, Jaejoong," Harry mumbled against his neck. The coolness
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of the lubricating charm saturated his aching hole, and Jaejoong barely had the energy to arch up, jutting his arse out for Harry to take however he wanted. There was nothing Jaejoong wouldn't give him. He would give up his blood, his breath, his very soul if Harry asked for it and for a moment, when Harry pressed into him, rough and needy, Jaejoong thought Harry must have taken it because his life narrowed into the column of Harry's cock pounding into him, Harry's breath on the back of his neck, Harry's sweat sliding between their bodies. There was nothing in his world but this, but them. There would always be problems to solve and children to deal with, but tonight there was only this. Their bodies, their souls, their hearts. It was all Jaejoong could ever ask for. All that he would ever need. ~~~ Harry awoke well before sunrise, intent on what he knew he had to do. He couldn't resist watching Jaejoong sleep though. The man was beautiful anytime, but when he slept, his face had a quality about it that no one was ever allowed to see, not even Harry. Jaejoong didn't realise how much of himself he hid in his waking moments. It was so entrenched in his upbringing to be the proper, aristocratic pureblood that he could never fully let down his guard, even when he thought he did. In these rare moments of slumber, or the exhausted aftermath of a good shag, Harry could see so much of what Jaejoong unwittingly hid away. It made Harry want to sweep the man up in his arms and take him far away, somewhere that no one would be able to touch them, somewhere no one could ever hurt them. He had planned to leave before Jaejoong awoke, but he couldn't resist leaning over to kiss the soft lips, still red and swollen from their frantic lovemaking the night before. The thought brought Harry to his senses just as Jaejoong's eyelids fluttered open. It took Jaejoong a few seconds to focus and realise that Harry was staring at him. Harry could tell by the sly smirk that that his lover was more than happy to be stared at. "See something you like, handsome?" "I like everything I see. But you know that already." Harry's answering smirk made Jaejoong's eyes flutter mischievously. "Come back to bed then and show me." Harry didn't resist when Jaejoong pulled him back into the nest of warm covers. The feel of Jaejoong's skin was almost enough to make him forget his plans completely. Almost, but not quite. "I have to get to the Ministry before we go to meet with McGonagall this morning. There are a few things I want to check out." Jaejoong tried to pout, but his wide yawn prevented it. "Go back to sleep, Jaejoong. I'll meet you at the gates to the castle at eight." Harry stopped any protest with a soft kiss. "Don't do anything stupid," Jaejoong answered sleepily. "Me? Do something stupid? Of course not." Harry chuckled at Jaejoong's incredulous expression,
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but a few more kisses wiped the scowl away. Harry wrapped himself around Jaejoong's warm body until he knew his lover had fallen back to sleep, then forced himself out of bed. There were a few things that needed his immediate attention. ~TBC~ Back to Index Chapter 14: Twelve Years Later Disclaimer: I am not JKR. I receive no monetary gain from this story. I make no claim to any of the characters and mean no offence by any actions they take. All characters depicted in sexual situations are above the age of consent. As always, thank you to the lovely Sesheta_66 for beta goodness. Twelve Years Later Chapter 14 Strategy and Cunning
Harry was thankful for two things as he walked into the Ministry. One, that it was early enough that no one else was around and two, that Kingsley hadn't seen fit to revoke his high-priority clearance. It took no time at all to find the file that he'd been searching for. Graham Johnson, assistant to the assistant in the department of paper shuffling. At least that may as well have been his title. His sister had been killed by Death Eaters just before the final battle. Of course, that automatically meant Jaejoong had been responsible. He was, after all, the only Death Eater around at the time. Never mind that he'd been cleared of all charges and had proven to the Wizengamot that he'd never been involved with any deaths - other than the one he'd been forced to witness. Harry's scowl would have put Jaejoong's to shame. He scribbled down the man's address with the handy ballpoint pen he'd brought just for this purpose. He hoped Johnson was an early riser. ~~~ Graham Johnson lived just on the outskirts of London on a quiet street that reminded Harry too much of Privet Drive. The house was the same as every other house on the street. To look at it, one would never think that the occupant would be capable of such spite, such hatred. Harry, however, had learned long ago how deceiving appearances could be. The third loud knock on the door brought shuffling from inside, and Harry gritted his teeth, tightening his grip on his wand. "What the bloody hell? Do you know what time it" The short, balding man stopped abruptly as soon as he saw who was waiting for him on his front step. Harry was torn between smirking at his gobsmacked expression and ringing the arsehole's neck. "I'm well aware of the time, Mr Johnson. Are you aware of the penalties for using illegal tracking
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charms and photographing people in the privacy of their own homes without their consent?" Harry was guessing about the tracking charms, of course, but he could tell by the man's expression that he'd been spot on. "Mr Potter" "Auror Potter, if you don't mind." Harry hadn't worn his finest Auror robes for nothing. If the name Harry Potter wasn't enough to frighten the man into co-operating, the threat of Azkaban would certainly do the trick. "Mr ... Auror Potter," the man said with feigned innocence, "I'm sure I don't know what you are referring to." "No?" Harry could feel his eye twitching, the memory of those photos clawing at this throat like an angry cat. His anger must have been reflected in his expression, because Johnson moved back a step looking around, probably searching for his wand. "What about the penalties for distributing pornography to minors? Ringing any bells yet, Mr Johnson?" Deep brown eyes widened as Johnson glanced down at Harry's wand, now pointed directly at his heart. Harry's fingers twitched with the desire to curse the man into oblivion. "I want the photos. All of them," he said quietly, his voice cold and deadly. "And if even a hint of them ever finds their way into the hands of the public, I'll send my condolences to your family. Do I make myself perfectly clear?" By the time Harry had finished his warning the man was almost as pale as Nearly Headless Nick. "Yes, Mr Potter. Perfectly clear. I'll just ... get the photos, then." Johnson scurried away, reminding Harry of Peter Pettigrew. It certainly didn't help the man's case any. He took a deep breath and relaxed his grip on his wand before he really did do something stupid. Johnson returned quickly with a large envelope and practically shoved it into his hand. Harry turned and Apparated before he gave in to the urge to hurt the man just for living. ~~~ Jaejoong was already at the gates of Hogwarts when Harry arrived and he eyed the envelope with the perfect balance of suspicion and smugness. "All right Hero Boy, did you at least leave him in one piece, or am I going to have to empty my Gringotts vault to keep your hot little arse out of Azkaban?" Harry laughed, pulling Jaejoong close. This was his Jaejoong. The one that could make him smile even at the worst of times. The man who would always stand by him and love him no matter what he did. "You told me not to do anything stupid, remember?"
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"Yes, and when has that ever done any good?" Harry handed Jaejoong the envelope. "Let's just say I doubt these will be showing up anywhere else and leave it at that, shall we?" Jaejoong took the envelope, staring at it for a moment before glancing back up, a pained look in his eyes. "Did you look at them?" Harry shook his head. He'd wondered if they were the same as the photos he'd seen last night and he'd wanted to look. Wanted to memorize each man's face so he could search him out and Obliviate every memory from their mind, so no one else would know how beautiful Jaejoong looked when he came or what glorious noises he made. But that would have been a breach of Jaejoong's privacy and with great determination, he'd decided not to. "They were all Muggles, you know," Jaejoong said quietly. "I couldn't bear for another wizard to touch me and I ... well, they all must have thought they'd been terribly drunk when they awoke in their own beds with no memory of what had happened the night before." Harry grinned. He shouldn't be so pleased with that statement. He should probably be irritated that Jaejoong had walked such a fine line and had possibly taken advantage of innocent Muggle men, but he was pleased nonetheless. "What will you do with them?" Harry asked, motioning to the envelope. In answer, Jaejoong waved his wand and, in an imitation of Harry's angry outburst of the previous night, the envelope burst into flames. "So, shall we face the wrath of McGonagall, then?" Jaejoong asked with a cheeky grin. Harry smiled, taking Jaejoong's hand as they walked to the castle together. The walk was more pleasant than the last time old, bitter memories slowly being replaced by new ones. Harry wondered how many times they would do this together over the next few years. If it would always be under such dire circumstances, or if there would be pleasant reasons for returning. Perhaps to watch their children play Quidditch or to deliver an impromptu birthday gift. Harry couldn't help but smile at the thought. Jaejoong glanced over at him with curiosity. "What's that wicked smile for?" Harry shrugged. "Just thinking." Jaejoong arched a brow as he pulled the heavy front door of the castle open and held it for Harry to enter. "Thinking of what, exactly?"
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Harry stole a quick kiss before answering, "The future." ~~~ "That went rather well," Jaejoong said as he fell into a heap on the sofa. "I don't think Al and Sungwoong would consider three months' detention as well." "Oh, come on, Harry, detention in which they will spend time tutoring their fellow students. It will be an excellent learning experience for them. It's not like they have to hunt sickly unicorns in the forbidden forest or scrub cauldrons, and at least they aren't playing Quidditch yet; they'd be banned for the whole year. Not that I disagree with that particular punishment for the other two little cretins. Slytherin will most certainly be victorious in Quidditch this year." Harry chuckled, but his smile quickly faded. "I wish James hadn't refused to see me, though. I don't know how to get through to him, Jaejoong. I don't think he'll ever forgive me." "You know McGonagall had to punish him as well. He wasn't exactly innocent in all of this." Harry nodded, wishing there was some way he could make his son understand. He'd wanted to yell and rage at James with indignation, to tell him how stupid it was to get involved with such an idiotic plan. He supposed it was a good thing that McGonagall had allowed James to be reprimanded in private. It probably wouldn't have done their relationship any good for Harry to unload all the anger he felt on the boy. He would have certainly said things he would later regret. Jaejoong sighed next to him and pulled Harry into his arms, kissing him gently on the forehead. "He'll come around, Harry. Just give him time. You know he loves you." Harry melted into Jaejoong's embrace, allowing the warm arms to give him the comfort that he knew he didn't deserve. He did. know James loved him, but he also knew that sometimes love wasn't nearly enough. "Are you going to work today?" Harry hated that his voice sounded so needy, knowing that even if Jaejoong had planned to go, he'd stay anyway. It was what Harry needed, and Jaejoong would always give him what he needed. Jaejoong shifted on the sofa, pulling Harry closer and nuzzling the sensitive skin beneath his ear. "No. I rather thought I'd stay home and keep your mind occupied with more pleasant things." The warm breath in his ear was enough to make Harry shiver. "Just my mind?" Jaejoong chuckled softly, and some of the tension in Harry's muscles drained away. He was the only person alive that could make Harry forget everything else. He was secretly grateful that he'd never known this side of Kim Jaejoong before Voldemort's death. If Voldemort had known anything about love, he might have figured out that, used correctly, Jaejoong could have been his
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greatest weapon. Harry thanked Merlin that the man was a fool. "Your mind," Jaejoong mumbled against his skin as he scattered tender kisses from ear to collarbone, "your mouth, your hands, your fingers, and any other appendage or orifice that I find to my liking." Harry closed his eyes and lay back onto the sofa, dragging Jaejoong on top of him. He cleared his mind of anything other than the feel of firm muscles pressing against him, the soapy scent on Jaejoong's skin, still fresh from his shower this morning, the tickling wisp of soft blond hair brushing against his cheek as those sharp teeth teased and nipped at his neck. Harry blossomed under Jaejoong's attention, wanting to give as much as he was getting, but Jaejoong wouldn't allow it. Jaejoong would take his satisfaction when he was ready, but not until Harry was begging, so delirious with desire that he couldn't form coherent thoughts, much less sentences. Jaejoong would take him as far as he could possibly go and then just the tiniest bit farther until Harry felt certain his mind would shatter. And then, when he would finally come in Jaejoong's succulent mouth, or all over his slim fingers, or on the smooth covers of the sofa with Jaejoong's cock buried deep in his body, then the only thing he would possibly be able to think about was how much Jaejoong loved him. ~~~ Things at Hogwarts settled down drastically over the next month. Oh, there was still a steady stream of owls, but thankfully, none of them were from McGonagall. Al and Sungwoong seemed to have taken it upon themselves to make up for the lack of letters from James, more often than not writing joint letters so as not to be redundant. Harry had laughed at that when they first started, accusing the two boys of attempting to share the same brain. Jaejoong was inexplicitly pleased that their sons got on so well. Apparently, after the rumour of what had happened at the Three Broomsticks got out, the other students looked upon the pair with a newfound respect and they had become, as a unit, the reigning leaders of Slytherin. It was something that had been unheard of in Jaejoong's old house the idea of shared leadership wasn't exactly part of Slytherin ideals. He chuckled quietly to himself. Leave it to a Potter and a Kim to twist the rules to suit them. Lily spent an inordinate amount of time at their house and Jaejoong thoroughly enjoyed spoiling the child completely rotten. He remembered being so pleased when he found out Marsalis was carrying a boy child and had never really wanted a daughter, but his time with Lily almost made him wish that he had one. She was intelligent and cunning and oh, so manipulative when she wanted to be, but she was the joy of Harry's life and Jaejoong had fallen irrevocably in love with her before he'd even realised what was happening. It was the easiest thing on earth to do. The girl had even managed to wrap Marsalis around her little finger, and that was no easy task. Jaejoong smiled when he thought about the people who now made up his family. It wasn't at all how he'd ever dreamt it would be, but it was as close to perfect as one could possibly get. With one, not so tiny exception.
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He sighed heavily when he thought about James. It was taking much longer for him to come to his senses than Jaejoong had anticipated. The boy was still adamantly refusing any of Harry's owls, and Sungwoong said James would barely acknowledge Albus at school. His son had owled that bit of information in private, as Al had made him promise not to let Harry know. Now, with Christmas holidays approaching, Jaejoong knew something drastic needed to be done; he just wasn't sure precisely what. When the knock on his office door interrupted his thoughts and Ron poked his flaming red head through the door, Jaejoong was thankful for the interruption. Ron hesitated before entering. "Does that smile mean I'm going to get hexed by something the minute I walk over the threshold?" Jaejoong chuckled. "Not today, I'm afraid, but I might have to check into that little precaution. To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit, Mr Weasley?" Ron walked into the room with long, confident strides and Jaejoong was again surprised by the man Weasley had grown in to. It would have been all too easy for either of them to hold onto their family feud. Jaejoong knew Harry wouldn't have blamed either of them for it, but he was glad that they had got past their animosity. Not just for Harry's sake, but for the children as well. While he knew the two of them would never be best friends, Jaejoong liked to think they had at least gained a mutual respect for one another. "You look like you've had better days," Ron said casually as he threw himself into the armchair across from Jaejoong's desk. Jaejoong nodded, running his fingers through his hair. A habit he'd picked up from Harry that he couldn't seem to break. "Just thinking about Harry. Have you talked to James?" "Yeah. It's like talking to my sister at that age. Stubborn as all fuck." Jaejoong snorted, thinking Ron was one to talk. "I know, it's a Weasley trait, no need to remind me. He's kind of the reason I'm here." "Kind of?" Jaejoong asked with an inquisitive cock of his head. "Yeah. I was wondering what you planned to do about him." "Me? You're a bit presumptuous, aren't you? The boy would rather see me dead than listen to anything I have to say." As Ron leaned back in his chair, fingers crossed thoughtfully behind his head, Jaejoong could almost see the wheels turning.
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"Any ideas you'd care to share, Weasel? I'm all ears." "You know Harry will never be happy if James doesn't come around, don't you? No matter how much he pretends that he is and he's damn good at pretending." Jaejoong sighed. He'd tried to convince himself that Harry was handling the estrangement from his son, but he knew Ron was right. Harry had become a damn good actor. "As I said, I'm open to suggestions. I'm not even sure what he's angry about anymore. Is it that I'm a man? Or simply that he blames me for breaking up his parents?" "I don't think he really knows, to be honest. He's just angry you don't need a reason when you're fourteen, do you?" Jaejoong thought about himself at that age. He couldn't begin to put himself in the boy's shoes. "No, I suppose you don't." "I was just heading to lunch. Care to join me?" It was a testament to how far they'd come that refusing the offer never crossed Jaejoong's mind. He pushed his paperwork aside and stood to get his cloak. "I take it you have a plan?" Ron chuckled. "Merlin, no. But between your Slytherin cunning and my brilliant strategizing, I'm sure we can come up with something." Jaejoong rounded his desk, a smirk twisting his lips before he had time to stop it. "You think I'm cunning, do you, Weasel?" "Like a snake, you prat," Ron answered as he stood, shoving Jaejoong playfully toward the door. ~TBC~ Back to Index Chapter 15: Twelve Years Later Disclaimer: I am not JKR. I receive no monetary gain from this story. I make no claim to any of the characters and mean no offence by any actions they take. All characters depicted in sexual situations are above the age of consent. As always, thanks to Sesheta_66 for beta! Twelve Years Later Chapter 15 Sins of the Fathers
Jaejoong knocked on the door in nervous anticipation. This was quite possibly the hardest thing he'd ever done. Well, not nearly as hard as walking away from Harry, but damn close. When Ginny opened the door, she didn't seem at all surprised to see him.
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"Hello, Jaejoong. I was wondering when you'd show up." "I ... we need to talk." Ginny nodded, opening the door to allow him entrance. "This is about James." It wasn't a question, and Jaejoong wondered, not for the first time, how he could have underestimated the Weasleys for so long. "Yes," he answered, following her into the cosy sitting room where she and Harry had undoubtedly spent thousands of evenings in domesticated bliss. The thought hurt more than Jaejoong would ever admit. He swallowed against the urge to fall back on his sarcasm and got right to the point. "I think we should go talk to him." The look on Ginny's face was as blank and unreadable as any he'd ever seen. She was blatantly studying him, looking for something that Jaejoong sorely hoped she would find. "How would that help anything, Jaejoong? He hates you." "He hates me because he thinks I'm the reason his parents are no longer married. He needs to know the other side of the story. He needs to understand that I didn't just show up one day and take Harry away. He needs to know that his father loves him and that none of this is his fault." Ginny nodded; whether in agreement or acknowledgement, Jaejoong wasn't entirely sure. "And how do you plan to prove that to him?" Jaejoong pulled a vial full of white swirling liquid from his pocket. "By showing him." Surprise and fear shaded the woman's face. "You need to show him, too. Show him that Harry made the decision he did because he loved his son, not because he felt trapped. Show him that he was the most important thing in Harry's life. I'll show him what Harry gave up, and you need to show him why." The irony was not lost on either of them. That after hating each other with such ferocity, they were the only two people that had a chance of delivering Harry's happiness and they had to do it together. She finally nodded. "I'll just get my coat." Jaejoong had expected more of an argument and was pretty sure he had Ron to thank for paving the way. ~~~~~~~~~ "Mum, what is he doing here?" James snarled, looking more like an angry cat than a fourteenyear-old boy.
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"James Potter, sit down and listen." Ginny had that same tone that all mothers had, and Jaejoong wondered if it was a genetic predisposition. "But, Mum, I" "Not a word," she said firmly. "You will listen to what we have to say, both of us, and if I hear one single disrespectful utterance you'll sorely regret it. Do you understand?" James crossed his arms and glared daggers at Jaejoong, but kept his mouth closed. Ginny's face softened, the love for her son so obvious that Jaejoong had no doubt of why she had agreed to this. "I know this isn't easy for you, but I need you to trust me. Can you do that, James? For our family." James shot Jaejoong a look that would have made a lesser man cower, but Jaejoong stood his ground, trying desperately to keep his expression blank and emotionless. "He's not my family." "No, but your dad is, and it's time you understood why he made the decisions that he did." Jaejoong saw something flicker in the boy's eyes. Maybe it was regret, maybe it was relief he wasn't sure but it gave him hope that this plan might actually work. James nodded. "What do you want to tell me?" "We're not going to tell you, because I suspect you wouldn't believe us if we did. We're going to show you and let you come to your own conclusions." Ginny tore her eyes from her son, placing her wand to her temple to pull out several long white strands. Jaejoong poured the contents of his vial into the Pensieve at the same time she deposited the strands. It was an odd feeling, watching as their memories swirled together, intertwining in the same way that their lives had seemed to intertwine around Harry for all these years. When she glanced up at him, Jaejoong saw that same look of determined acceptance that he'd seen the night she'd fallen apart in Harry's arms and he realised, at that moment, that she was still in love with her ex-husband. That she would probably always love him. Some small part of him wanted to feel smugly superior and bask in the knowledge that he had won. But the bigger part of him was all too aware of how close he could have come to losing. Ginny could have easily used James to get Harry back. Exploited his guilt over the situation and manipulated things to make it seem like the only way to gain his son's forgiveness was to try to put their family back together. As much as Jaejoong hated to think about it and as much as he would love to deny it, he knew there was a chance that it would have worked. Harry loved his children, and if it came down to a choice between Jaejoong and James, Harry would choose his son again, even if it killed him in the process.
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"He's not coming too, is he?" Jaejoong shook himself out of his melancholy thoughts just in time to see Ginny roll her eyes. "Are you coming, Jaejoong? Or are you just going to stand there and look morose?" This wasn't going to be easy for any of them, but the happiness of the one person that tied them all together depended on it. ~~~~~~ James had done this once before, when one of the older Gryffindor boys had teased him that he was too afraid to sneak into the Headmistress's office to see what memories she kept hidden away. Even though it had only been the previous year, it seemed like it had been a lifetime ago. He held tightly to his mum's hand, afraid that whatever memories he was about to see would change his life forever. They were at the Burrow. It must have been summer, because the sun was warm, and the field where he stood was covered in his favourite wildflowers. A much younger version of his mum and dad were lying in the grass, both staring up into the sky. "It's not working is it, Harry?" His dad continued to stare up at nothingness, a sadness in his eyes that seemed so familiar, but that looked so odd on the face of such a young man. "No, Gin, I don't think it is. We're just ... I don't know why, but it's not fair to either of us to keep trying so hard." His mum smiled and nodded. "I know. You need to sort out who you are who you want to become. I can understand that." His dad rolled over on the blanket and kissed his mum on the top of the head, a gesture he'd seen his dad do so often with Lily. James had known his parents had dated in school and then broke up for a while before they'd finally married. He'd never really thought about the time in between. His dad never talked about it, and whenever anyone mentioned it, the subject had always been cleverly changed. James felt a shift, like he was suddenly falling, watching as the Burrow melted away and he was in a beautiful garden surrounded by red roses. His dad was sitting on a bench next to a sour looking boy with a scowl on his face. It took James only a second to realise who the boy was. His dad looked much the same as he had just a few minutes ago, only paler and skinnier, like he'd been sick for a while or wasn't eating properly. They started talking, both boys looking uncomfortable and a little lost. The conversation didn't make a lot of sense, but then they both laughed and the scene slipped away. He was at a Quidditch match. His dad looked a bit older and much healthier than he had before. The young man standing next to him looked better too. He didn't have the same scowl or the
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angry line to his eyes. They were both cheering and James looked up just in time to see the Seeker catch the Snitch. He turned back when he heard his dad whoop with joy, the expression on his face making James smile. It had been ages since he'd seen his dad look so happy. The younger version of Kim Jaejoong was laughing, and when his dad reached out and gave him a celebratory hug, both men grinned at each other. James saw something mischievous flash in his dad's eyes just as the Quidditch pitch disappeared. They were in a small room with no windows, the kind of room that one would think of as an oversized coat closet. Only it didn't seem like a coat closet at all. It was warm and cosy with a roaring fire in the fireplace. His dad was older now, definitely not a boy anymore, and he was cuddled up on the sofa with none other than Sungwoong' dad. They both looked so comfortable, so at ease with each other. For the first time since entering the Pensieve, James felt like he shouldn't be there, as if he was seeing something no one else was ever meant to see. He looked away, glancing at the man standing next to his mum. The man his dad said he'd loved for a lifetime. He was smiling. Not the smug arrogant smile that he'd expect from the Kim Jaejoong that he'd heard so much about, but a gentle smile. The kind you get when you think of your fondest memory and how that memory warms you from the inside out. James turned back to the young men on the sofa just in time to see his dad place a gentle kiss on the other man's lips, an expression of complete and total adoration on his face. "I love you, you know," his dad whispered, and the younger Mr Jaejoong's face lit up like a beacon. "You do?" His dad laughed and shoved the man's shoulder. "Prat." They shared a look. The kind of look that he'd seen so often exchanged between his Aunts and Uncles when they were sharing a private joke. The kind of look he'd never seen his own parents share. Then the room shifted and it was suddenly lit with what seemed like a thousand candles. The fire was still roaring and there was soft music playing. The two men on the sofa looked a bit different. His dad's hair was longer and seemed even messier than usual. They were still cuddled together on the sofa, but this time their chests were bare and they were wrapped in a soft, green blanket covered with little silver snitches. James knew it was soft because he'd found it once while searching his dad's closet for hidden Christmas presents. It was buried in a chest along with a box of old ticket stubs, some faded letters and a tarnished Snitch with broken wings. He'd been only six or seven and had thought the Snitch looked like a wonderful new toy. It was the first time in his memory that his dad had ever yelled at him. The next time he snooped in his father's closet the chest was locked and warded. "Happy anniversary, Harry. I love you too, you know." His dad smiled and kissed Mr Jaejoong, his eyes dancing with something James had never seen in those green eyes. Before he could contemplate exactly what it was, the room shifted and swirled again, but this time, neither of the two men were smiling. "Why don't you want anyone to know, Harry? Am I that much of an embarrassment?"
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"No, Jaejoong! Of course you're not. I just ... not yet, okay? The publicity and the reporters ... you know they won't ever leave it alone." "I don't care! I'm tired of sneaking around. I'm tired of hiding. It's been years!" "I know how long it's been, Jaejoong. You don't have to keep reminding me!" His father turned with a whoosh of his robes and stormed from the room, slamming the door behind him. James braced himself for a change of scenery, but it didn't come as expected. Instead, he watched as the younger Mr Jaejoong threw his wine glass across the room and fell to his knees, burying his face in his hands. There was another huge shift, like the world was melting beneath his feet and he was suddenly at a pub watching as his dad got completely smashed, guzzling shot after shot of golden liquid. He shouldn't have been surprised to hear his mum's voice; after all, he assumed this was her memory. "Harry, getting pissed isn't going to help whatever it is." "It'll make me forget, at least for a while." "Having a fight with your secret Mrs Right, then?" His dad grimaced. "Yeah, something like that." James took a good look at his mum. She was older than in the first memory, but still young and beautiful. She sat on the stool next to his dad and they talked for a few minutes small talk, the kind of conversation adults have with an old friend they haven't seen in a while. His dad's speech was slurred and his mum's wasn't really much clearer. He felt his mother's grip on his hand tighten and a second later, his dad brushed his fingers through his mum's hair and kissed her. He suddenly knew when this was. Fourteen years ago. The night he was conceived. "I really wasn't wanted, was I mum?" he whispered. "You weren't planned, James, but you were always wanted. Please don't ever think otherwise." His mum had a tear rolling down her check and he wanted to believe her. The world shifted again and he was back at the Burrow, back in the grassy field where they'd started. "Ginny, I'm sorry. It never should have happened. I" "I'm pregnant." His dad looked up at his mum, his expression shocked but not angry. "You're ... you're sure?"
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"I'm sure. It's a boy, Harry. Our son." "Our son," his dad mumbled, running his hands through his hair in a gesture James knew meant he was thinking. "Our son," he repeated, then looked up and smiled. James felt his mum lean against him. "Always wanted, James. From the very beginning." He felt the tears welling up in his eyes and as he blinked them away the world dropped from under his feet. They were back in the garden again, the roses in full bloom and the sky a brilliant blue. "She's what?" The younger Mr Jaejoong whispered, suddenly looking much older than he had before, older than he did now even. "She's pregnant. I'm sorry, Jaejoong, I have to marry her." "You're sorry?" The man was angry, James could tell, but he wasn't yelling like he'd been before when he was angry. He was almost too calm, like he was hanging on to his sanity by only a thread. "Why do you have to marry her?" "It's the right thing to do. You know I've always wanted kids, Jaejoong. I won't let my son grow up without a dad. I want to be there when he takes his first step and says his first word. I want to be a part of his life." James forced his tears to stay hidden. The pain and determination on his dad's face said more than the words ever could, and the younger Mr Jaejoong apparently saw it too because he collapsed into his dad's arms. It was odd seeing a grown man cry. Seeing the man that you'd grown to hate in such obvious pain. It should have made him happy. He should be glad that the bastard was hurting the way he'd been hurting for the last few months, but he wasn't. It all made sense now. His dad really had given up the person he loved the most in his life ... for him. "I think I've seen enough," he whispered. His mum smiled at him, tears streaming down her face as she pulled him from the Pensieve. They were back in the Headmistress's office and he looked away from his mum into the face of the man that he'd thought he hated. "I need some time." It was all he could think to say. Mr Jaejoong nodded. "Take all the time you need, James. But Harry will always love you, no matter who he's with, or what he does. Nothing can ever change that." James could tell by the look in the older man's eyes that he truly meant it, but there was a sense of uncertainty in his words of pain and maybe even fear. James didn't want to think about what it had been like for him to have to sit back and watch as the person he loved married someone
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else, had a child ... children, with someone else. And yet he'd never given up. He'd forgiven his dad for being unfaithful, forgiven him for wasting years of their lives together, had accepted Al and Lily as if they were his own children. James hadn't really thought about it that way before. But he still wasn't sure if he could do it. If he could forgive his dad for ... for what? For loving the wrong person? For giving up that person for a son that he'd evidently loved even more? For wanting that love back? It all seemed so much more complicated than he'd thought it was. Things were supposed to be cut and dry, black and white, right or wrong. They weren't supposed to be so damn confusing. "James," his mum said quietly, "your dad and I aren't getting back together. I still love him, but it's time we moved on. It's time you moved on too, don't you think?" ~TBC~ Back to Index Chapter 16: Twelve Years Later Disclaimer: I am not JKR. I receive no monetary gain from this story. I make no claim to any of the characters and mean no offence by any actions they take. All characters depicted in sexual situations are above the age of consent. As always, many thanks to the wonderful Sesheta_66 for beta brilliance! Twelve Years Later Chapter 16 The Noblest Pleasure The noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding. -- Leonardo da Vinci
Jaejoong ended up at the Hog's Head after leaving Hogwarts. He couldn't remember walking there, but was certain he must have. He should have gone home to hold Harry in his arms, to let that reassuring smile erase all his fears, but his emotions were too raw and he was terrified he'd break down and lose it completely. He and Ron had agreed it would be best not to tell Harry until they knew if their plan was going to work, otherwise he'd just get his hopes up and be crushed if it didn't. Ron had warned that it might take James a while for it all to sink in. He was a stubborn Gryffindor through and through, and if his mind was going to be changed, it would take a load of patience. He ordered another drink his fourth? No, maybe his fifth; he wasn't really counting. He hadn't thought it would hurt so much. He had been prepared to see his memories, to be reminded of how sharp the knife had been that had diced his heart into tiny pieces. What he hadn't been prepared for was seeing hers. To see Harry kiss her the same way he'd always kissed Jaejoong. To see Harry's smile when he'd found out she was pregnant. To see the happiness she had brought him.
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It was irrational. He'd known what had happened with Ginny. Had known Harry had been happy to find out he was going to have a son. Harry hadn't been dishonest about that, but it still hurt to see it with his own eyes. He was glad James had stopped when he did. There were surely more memories to be seen. He'd been proud of how well he'd held himself together, of how calm he'd remained as he'd watched all his dreams crash at his feet. He wasn't sure if he could have handled seeing Harry's face the first time he held his son. Jaejoong remembered how happy he'd been at Sungwoong' birth. How his whole life had narrowed into one tiny gurgling package of wrinkled pink skin and huge blue eyes. He knew Harry would have felt the same way, that the sheer joy would have shown on his face, and he would have gazed at his wife in awe for giving him such a precious gift. The barmaid delivered his drink, and he was surprised his hands were still steady as he picked it up, even though he couldn't seem to make his heart stop pounding. He emptied the glass in one long gulp and considered ordering another. His body wasn't quite numb enough to take away the pain, but at least the alcohol had dulled the sharp edges. "You look like you could use another." Jaejoong looked up at the man speaking, but his vision was too blurry to make out a face. "Bugger off," he slurred. The man chuckled. It was a deep laugh, pleasant and soothing in a way he desperately needed. "Or perhaps you need someone to take you home and put you to bed. Whatever it is will look better in the morning." The man sat down uninvited, and Jaejoong didn't have the energy to complain. Then there was a comforting hand on his back, rubbing circles over his tense muscles, and he couldn't resist the urge to lean into it. To take the comfort he needed, to get lost in the feeling of a warm body the way he'd always found comfort in Harry, the way Harry had always whispered in his ear that everything would be all right. He felt like he was in a warm bath of swirling colours, like he was drifting away from the tight ache that had constricted his breathing. It wasn't until he felt the warm lips on his neck and the hand skirting up the inside of his thigh that he froze, the memory of Harry with Ginny at the bar searing through his veins. Fuck. He pushed the man away so abruptly he toppled the table over. Somewhere in his alcohol addled brain he knew he shouldn't Apparate in his condition, but all he could think about was getting as far away from this place from this man as he could. He Apparated before he could think of where he wanted to go, just the word Harry, repeating itself like a mantra in his mind. When he landed, face first, in the middle of his sitting room he barely registered the "what the fuck" before he passed out. ~~~
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Jaejoong awoke surrounded by soft covers with a cool cloth on his forehead. He squeezed his eyes together trying to shut out the drums pounding in his head. "I thought you could handle your liquor better than this, Jaejoong." Harry. Well fuck, how was he going to explain this one? Whatever he tried to say came out as a groan. He felt the bed dip before strong arms wrapped around him. "Do you want to tell me why you Apparated home tonight drunker than Trelawney on a bad day and smelling like someone else's cologne?" Jaejoong groaned again and couldn't decide if he wanted to push Harry away or snuggle in closer. He settled for doing neither. His entire body ached in a way it never had before. "Here." Jaejoong felt Harry's arm behind him, lifting him up, and then a cool glass touch his lips. "Drink this. It'll help a little." Jaejoong drank from the glass Harry was holding. He could taste the pain potion, but there was something else he couldn't quite make out. He grimaced. "What is that horrid concoction?" "Dandelion root for the hangover, a pain potion for the sore muscles, and a healing potion for" Harry paused, forcing Jaejoong's eyes open to look at him questioningly. "For?" His voice sounded scratchy and rough, as if he'd had shredded glass for dinner. "You splinched yourself pretty good. It's lucky Dean had stopped by for a drink earlier or you'd be at St Mungo's right now." A sharp pain went through Jaejoong's chest as he remembered the reason he'd Apparated home in such a horrid condition. He curled into Harry's arms, basking in the warmth and comfort, trying to force his hands to stop trembling. "Feeling better?" His head moved against Harry's chest but he wasn't sure if it was in agreement or denial. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Harry whispered, his lips moving softly against Jaejoong's temple. The words were spoken tenderly, filled with love and understanding, not a sliver of anger or doubt. It made Jaejoong's heart swell that Harry would trust him even when faced with evidence that anyone else would have used to condemn him instantly. They stayed that way for a long time, until Jaejoong's world had stopped spinning and he could manage to look into the face of the man he loved. The man he'd come far too close to betraying. As soon as their eyes met, Jaejoong understood. Really, truly understood that Harry hadn't meant to sleep with Ginny. That it could have happened to either one of them and that he really did
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need to face it so he could finally let it go. He'd thought he'd done that already, but apparently he was wrong. "Remember when I said the time would come when we'd need to talk about what happened with you and Ginny?" Jaejoong felt Harry stiffen and he curled closer into the circle of strong arms. "Don't get angry, Harry. I just ... I think it's time. I thought I'd dealt with it but ... well, you told me and I got angry, and then we just pushed it away and tried to pretend it didn't matter. I understand now how it could have happened and I think it's time you understand it too." There was a long pause until finally Harry's words came out in a whisper. "Jaejoong, did you" "No, Harry, I didn't. I wasn't quite drunk enough, but I ... came too close for comfort." Harry didn't say anything and for a moment Jaejoong worried that he'd screwed everything up. "I was upset. I can't really tell you why" "I know why." Harry's voice had a bitter clip to it, making Jaejoong look up, confused. "I Floo-called Ron and Hermione after Dean left. I wanted to find out if anyone knew what had happened to cause you to Floo home like that. I thought ... hell, never mind what I thought; I was damn worried. Ron told me about your insane plan. Fuck, Jaejoong. Why would you do such a thing? Ginny, I can understand. She loves James and wants what's best for him, but you ... what could you possibly gain?" "I didn't want you to have to choose again, Harry. No matter what choice you made, neither one of us would be able to live with it." "So you and Ginny shared your memories with James to try and make him understand. You saw" "Yes, I saw you kissing Ginny at the bar that night. I saw how happy you were when she told you she was going to have a son. I saw my world crash at my feet like it was yesterday and it hurt all over again, Harry. Like the scars that I'd buried a long time ago were ripped open and left to bleed all over the fucking floor." "I'm so sorry, Jaejoong. You didn't have to" "But I did! Don't you understand that?" Jaejoong's voice had risen to an unnatural pitch, and even he could hear his own desperation. He took a deep breath and tried to continue more calmly. "If James doesn't come around, do you think you'll ever be happy? That we'll ever be happy?" "But I know what doing that would cost you how that would have upset you." "It did. More than I thought it would, so I stopped by the Hog's Head to calm down before I
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came home. I guess I had a few too many drinks and this man ... hell, I was too drunk to even see his face, but he ... before I realised it he was kissing me and touching me and I was thinking about you and Ginny and Harry if I'd had one more drink I would have been able to imagine he was you. I didn't. I came to my senses and pushed him away and I'm not sure how I even Apparated home. I just thought about you and how much I wanted to be wherever you were and then ... I woke up here." The circle of arms tightened around him and he felt Harry's kiss on the top of his head. "I always knew you had more control than me." "No. I just ... don't you get it, Harry? He kissed me, yes, but it wasn't him that I needed. It was you. And I suspect it wasn't Ginny that you needed all those years ago either, so we need to talk about it so we can finally put it behind us. Both of us." Harry paused and kissed him again. "I don't remember what happened that night, Jaejoong. I remember sitting at the bar thinking about you. About how you were right and how I was more of a coward than anyone would admit. How I couldn't believe you loved me enough to put up with it for so long. Then there was this sense of comfort and ... then I woke up in Ginny's bed. I never meant to, Jaejoong. I never meant to hurt you." Jaejoong wiggled free of Harry's embrace so he could look into those piercing green eyes. He'd known all of that. He'd known it for years, but somewhere, deep down in the recesses of his mind, he'd never really believed it until now. He'd forgiven Harry, because he would forgive him anything, but now he understood and it made all the difference in the world. "I love you." "Why?" Jaejoong smiled. That was the easiest question anyone had ever asked him. "Because I want to. Because I can't not love you. Because I don't ever want to not love you." He wanted to say more. To tell Harry that regardless of what happened with James that he'd never stop loving him, but Harry's lips were on his and he settled for letting Harry kiss the words away. The kisses were no different than they ever were, but Jaejoong felt a lightness that he hadn't felt in years. Like an anchor had been lifted and he was finally free to move from a spot he'd been stuck in for an eternity. He kissed Harry back with an abandon that he hadn't felt since he'd heard those cutting words all those years ago, touched warm skin as if exploring it from a new position in his life, and he knew with more certainty than he'd ever known that he'd never give this up. He pulled Harry on top of him, pushing away the clothes that separated them, needing to feel every inch of skin against his body. He still ached, and he could tell by the way the candles barely lit the room that it was still the middle of the night, and he knew Harry was probably exhausted, but he needed this. They both did. "Jaejoong" "Shh. Make love to me, Harry. Like you did the very first time we ever made love. Let's put
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everything else behind us, the good and the bad, so we can start all over. A new beginning, fresh and untainted by guilt and regret, just us and the way we feel and what we want." He looked up into confused green eyes. Harry didnt understand, probably never would, but it didn't matter, because Jaejoong knew he would do it. Harry would do anything for him possibly give up his son if it came to that, but Jaejoong wouldn't let it. Somehow, he'd find a way to make sure Harry always had everything he wanted. Somehow, Jaejoong would make sure James forgave Harry for loving him and they would finally have the future they'd always planned for. TBC Back to Index Chapter 17: Twelve Years Later Disclaimer: I am not JKR. I receive no monetary gain from this story. I make no claim to any of the characters and mean no offence by any actions they take. All characters depicted in sexual situations are above the age of consent. As always, thanks to the wonderful Sesheta_66 for beta and also for my new favorite Brit, accioscar for britpicking. (although I threw in a few last minute additions that might make her cringe) :-D Twelve Years Later Chapter 17 Return of the Dragon
Harry couldn't help but smile when Jaejoong entered the kitchen. "Good morning, Dragon. Sleep well?" Jaejoong didn't say a word, simply ignored that Harry was cooking, wrapped him in a cocoon of warmth, and kissed him. Jaejoong had never held anything back when he kissed, had always laid open his soul to Harry, but this somehow felt different. Light and whimsical and ... happy. Jaejoong was genuinely happy. Harry could feel it as if it were something tangible that he could hold in his hands. He pulled away to remove the large frying pan from the stove and whispered a warming charm before turning back to give Jaejoong a perplexed look. "What's got into you this morning?" "Mm, besides you, you mean?" Jaejoong teased with a wink, popping a juicy strawberry into his mouth. "You must have worked up quite the appetite last night," he continued, waving his hand toward the pan full of scrambled eggs and the large mound of bacon and stack of toast. "Or are you expecting a herd of Weasleys for breakfast?" Jaejoong's tone was cheerfully mocking, but his smile was so warm that Harry was reminded, once again, why this was worth all the trouble. He'd gone through the complete gamut of emotions the previous night. From the gut-wrenching fear he'd felt when Jaejoong had collapsed
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in the sitting room, to the icy chill that had spread through his veins when he'd thought Jaejoong had made the same drunken mistake that Harry had made, the one that had torn both their lives apart so long ago. The revelations that had followed had been both freeing and insightful. Harry had never understood how Jaejoong had forgiven him so easily for his betrayal. He'd always thought that if their roles had been reversed that he wouldn't have been able to do the same. But last night he realised that, even though he didn't think Jaejoong would ever be as stupid as he'd been, if he had made the same mistake, there was no doubt in Harry's mind that he would have forgiven Jaejoong without hesitation. It would have hurt, he wouldn't discount that, and it probably would have created doubt and insecurities that he'd never had regarding Jaejoong, but he knew he would have forgiven Jaejoong unconditionally. He understood now how Jaejoong had done it, and it was as if a dark cloud had cleared and allowed the full warmth of the sun to shine down on them. That, combined with the fact that Jaejoong would go to such lengths to help James understand their situation, meant more to him than anyone could possibly know. He wanted to thank Jaejoong for doing it, but decided he didn't want to ruin Jaejoong's light-hearted mood by mentioning James. "Lily will be here in a few minutes. We promised to take her to the Manor again for more flying lessons, remember?" "Oh, I'd forgotten about that. You do realise she's going to be better at flying than either of us, don't you?" Harry grinned, thinking about the other things in his life that he was grateful for. Lily was certainly among them, and as much as both his sons wanted to deny it, Jaejoong was absolutely right. Lily had inherited Harry's skill and Ginny's competitiveness the combination was going to be unstoppable in a few years. "She is good, isn't she?" Harry answered proudly. Jaejoong shot Harry an incredulous look. "Good? She's not even at Hogwarts yet and already she makes you look like an amateur." Harry fought the urge to wrap himself around Jaejoong and forget the rest of the world existed. Instead, he began dishing food onto the three plates he'd set at their cosy kitchen table. Harry had never been big on eating in the dining room, and breakfast was one of the few meals where Jaejoong would let him get away with forgoing that particular formality. "Dad! I'm here. Can we go now?" he heard his daughter call out just after the Floo in the sitting room roared to life. "We're in the kitchen," Harry answered. "How 'bout some breakfast before we go?" Lily bounded into the kitchen with her broom in hand. She paused long enough to give both men a hug before plopping into a chair. "I ate earlier, but I suppose a bit more will keep up my energy. It's kind of late for breakfast though, isn't it?"
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Jaejoong sat next to her and swept her long hair behind one shoulder. "Your dad likes to sleep in on Saturdays, remember?" "Me? I believe I was the one making breakfast while you lounged in bed all morning." "Well if you wouldn't insist on giving Kreacher Saturday mornings off, you could have had a lie in as well, now couldn't you? Kreacher doesn't even want mornings off. I believe he finds it insulting." "He does not find it insulting! I know he enjoys visiting the house-elves at Hogwarts on the weekends. He just doesn't like to admit it." "Oh, I'm sure that's it, Harry," Jaejoong answered sarcastically. "Kreacher is so adept at hiding how he really feels." Lily rolled her eyes and sniggered. "You two bicker almost as much as Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione, you know that?" Harry laughed as he set a small glass of juice in front of his daughter, leaning down to give her a kiss on the cheek. "Aunt Hermione says it's the secret to a happy marriage. That it's important not to hold things inside until they burst and blow up the house." Lily giggled again. "That sounds like something Aunt Hermione would say. So, we're still going flying today right, Jaejoong?" "Lily," Harry warned. "Dad," Lily mimicked with the same warning tone. "He said it was okay to call him Jaejoong. It's not like I go around calling Aunt Hermione Mrs Weasley, do I? He's family now, isn't he?" Jaejoong's lips folded inward in a pathetic attempt not to laugh. Harry was tempted to pour his juice in his lap. Instead, he sat it next to Jaejoong's plate and glared. They'd had this discussion several times already. Harry had taught his children that it was a show of respect to use Mr or Mrs when speaking to adults, but Lily insisted that Jaejoong wasn't an ordinary adult and therefore deserved to be called Jaejoong instead of Mr Jaejoong. Jaejoong had readily agreed before Harry had had a chance to disapprove. He was pleased that his daughter had become so fond of Jaejoong, and really it did seem silly for her to be so formal, but Harry was still a bit oldfashioned when it came to that kind of stuff. "I can call him Uncle Jaejoong if you'd rather?" Jaejoong and Harry both wrinkled their noses and answered simultaneously, "No!" Lily burst out laughing. "Well, Jaejoong it is then." Harry sighed, knowing there was no arguing with her when she was so dead set on something.
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Jaejoong waggled his eyebrows and grinned. "You can call me Mr Jaejoong if you want, Harry." The egg that flew off Harry's fork really hadn't been aimed at Jaejoong's cheek, and the laughter that followed made Harry's heart feel lighter than it had in weeks. ~~~ Saturday flew by, as days always did when Lily was around. After having a relaxing lunch at the Manor, Lily had ignored the cold temperatures and begged to continue her flying lessons. Marsalis had insisted that since they were there, they should join her for dinner, to which Lily had squealed with delight and pleaded with Harry to say yes. Lily seemed to have a certain fascination with Jaejoong's ex-wife. Jaejoong assumed it was because she'd probably never met anyone quite like her. In fact, Jaejoong was rather sure there was no one else like her. She made Lily feel perfectly at ease, as if she were just as much a member of Marsalis' family as she was Harry's, and he supposed, in a strange, roundabout way, it was true. It was late by the time they Flooed home, and Jaejoong stood in the doorway watching Harry as he tucked his daughter in and gave her a kiss goodnight. Part of him wondered why he wasn't jealous of all the attention Lily got from Harry, but the simple fact was he loved that Harry was such a good father. Jaejoong always knew he would be, but somehow seeing it made their time apart seem less like a mistake and more like just another thing that had happened to bring them to this point in their lives. If Ginny had not got pregnant that night, neither of them would have ever known what it was like to be a father. Of course, they wouldn't have realised what they were missing, but he wondered if Harry could have ever really been happy without a family of his own. That thought brought Jaejoong's mind back to James, and he wondered again, for the hundredth time that day, if sharing his memories with James was going to make any difference. He hadn't expected James to immediately owl and tell Harry all was forgiven, he wasn't nearly that naive, but he had hoped for something. Some sign that the boy had been affected as much as Jaejoong had thought he was, some tendril of hope that he could hang on to. "Hey, you look like you're a million miles away," Harry said softly as he nudged Jaejoong out of the doorway and closed the door softly behind them. Jaejoong shrugged nonchalantly. "Just thinking ... she's a great kid, Harry. I'm glad she's around." Harry smiled at him with such gentle understanding in his eyes it made Jaejoong's heart skip a beat. "Even though it cost us twelve years? You're still glad?" "I suppose twelve years is a small price to pay for four beautiful human beings, isn't it?" Jaejoong wasn't prepared for Harry's tight embrace or for the emotional hitch in his speech when words finally came. "You don't know how long I've waited for you to say that and to know that
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you actually mean it." "Harry." Jaejoong pulled away and looked at Harry curiously. "I've told you from the very beginning that I would never regret that we had children. I couldn't imagine my life without Sungwoong and I know you feel the same way." "I know, but you've always said you'd never regret having Sungwoong and that you knew I'd never regret having my kids. You've never said you didn't regret me having my kids." Jaejoong opened his mouth to argue that it was the same thing, but Harry cut him off before the words could come out. "I know, Jaejoong. I know it's just semantics, but I needed to hear you say it anyway." Jaejoong shook his head slightly and grinned as he led Harry from the hallway to the sitting room. "How could I ever regret Lily, Harry? She's a remarkable child. And Albus, even though I've not spent much time with him, I can tell he's just as amazing. Sungwoong has excellent taste, after all." "But James" "Is remarkable in his own way. He's just having a tougher time of things. He has more to deal with than either Al or Lily. In his eyes, he's the reason you married Ginny. He has to come to the realisation that it wasn't his fault before he can accept the rest, and he will, Harry. In time he'll figure out a way to deal with it and then I'll get to know him too. Maybe not ever as well as Lily or Al, but I have no doubt that one day we'll all be able to sit down to dinner and carry on a reasonable conversation. You have to believe that too. Just get that vision imprinted on your mind and hold onto it the same way you held onto me for twelve years. It'll happen, Harry. I promise you, it will." ~~~ Lily was beyond annoyed to be awoken Sunday morning at the crack of dawn by an irritating nip to her ear. Every muscle in her body ached from her lessons yesterday and she'd hoped to be able to sleep in to soothe them a bit, but the determined owl obviously wasn't going to go away. She rolled over and huffed as she took the note from its clutches. "Don't even think you'll be getting a treat for this, Sebastian. Whatever my brother has to say couldn't be important enough to wake me up at this hour." When she opened the letter, she'd expected to find a typical expos from Al about how brilliant Sungwoong was, or how excited he was to be home for Christmas so Lily could meet him. She'd planned to skim the note and put it aside so she could go back to sleep, but all thoughts of sleep disappeared when she recognized James' messy handwriting. Lil, how are you? I know I've been a right berk for not writing to you all year, but I've no doubt Al has kept you up to date with all the goings-on at Hogwarts. He and I haven't talked much this year, but we had a long chat last night, and it made me realise how much I'd missed you both. My friends are great, don't get me wrong, but I guess all that rubbish Mum used to say about
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family knowing you better than anyone else really does have some merit. How are things at home? I've been in contact with Mum but ... well, how are things elsewhere? I still can't bring myself to say "Dad's house." It just seems so foreign somehow. I finally met Dad's ... damn, what am I supposed to call him anyway? He wasn't anything like I'd expected. I'm not sure what I did expect. I guess I've been avoiding thinking about him at all. Al says you get on with him rather well. I suppose I'd expect that of you, though. You get on with almost everyone. What's he like, really? What are he and Dad like together? I just can't imagine it. I know you think I'm pissed at Dad because his ... Mr Jaejoong is a man and I'll admit that threw me at first, but it's not just that, Lil. It's more complicated than you know. I'm glad you and Al have adjusted well to things. I wish it were that easy for me too, but it's just not. I don't expect you to understand. Well, I guess I should go. My housemates are starting to stir. I look forward to seeing you over Christmas hols. Mum says you'll be home for a week. It'll be odd spending Christmas Eve without you and Al. It'll be an odd Christmas all around, I suspect, won't it? I miss hearing from you. James
Lily had to agree with her brother's assessment; it would be an odd Christmas no matter what. But if she could convince James to see reason, then it would be a bit less odd for everyone. She pulled a piece of parchment and a quill from her bedside drawer and tried to think of what Uncle Ron would say. James, You have been a berk, but that's nothing new, now is it? Things aren't as strange as you might think. Mum seems to have completely adjusted to Dad being gone. She even had a date the other night. Of course, she didn't tell me that, but you know I have my ways of finding things out. Although she was acting a bit strange Friday night when I got home from spending the day with my friend Lucy. She was looking at old baby photos and kept hugging me like she was afraid I might vanish if she didn't touch me or something. She seemed fine the next morning though. I think she likes having the weekends when I'm at Dad's to do what she wants without worrying about me. She won't admit that either says she misses me terribly when I'm gone, but she's always in a better mood when I get back from Dad's. Like she's taken a cheering potion or something. You really do need to get used to saying "Dad's house" because that's a fact of life now, big brother. It's not going to change, so stop thinking it is. This isn't some temporary mid-life crisis that Dad's going through. He really loves Jaejoong, and Jaejoong loves him - and that's not just
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the hopeless romantic in me. I even overheard Uncle Ron say anyone with eyes could see it. And you know if Uncle Ron says it, it must be pretty obvious because he's clueless about that sort of stuff. There's a room for you here, you know. Dad and Jaejoong decorated one room for Al and Sungwoong to share and one for you, even though you've said you won't be visiting. I know Dad hopes you'll change your mind. He hasn't given up on you yet. None of us have. You asked how things were here and I should just tell you to stop being so stubborn and come see for yourself, but I've a feeling that would be a waste of ink. Jaejoong's great and yes, I convinced Dad to let me call him Jaejoong. It just seemed silly to call him "Mr Jaejoong" when we all live together. He and Dad took me flying yesterday at Jaejoong's family home. I almost beat Dad in a game of Catch-the-Snitch, although I suspect that was just because Jaejoong kept distracting him. I know you don't want to hear this, but Jaejoong's been good for Dad. He laughs a lot more now than I ever remember and he smiles more too. The only time he gets that wistful look that he used to have so often is when I mention you. He misses you, James, but you don't need me to tell you that, do you? I overheard him last night saying he wondered if you'd ever forgive him. I don't know what he's on about when he says that, because really, what's to forgive? You can't help who you love, now can you? Did you really expect him to live the rest of his life pretending? Would you? I know I wouldn't. I also overheard Jaejoong assuring him you'd come around and I tend to agree with him. You may be obstinate and stubborn, but you're not stupid. Dad has always been there for us when we needed him, even when we didn't want him to be. He's not perfect, but he's always loved us no matter what we did, and I can't believe you'd just throw that away. Remember that time you stole his old Firebolt and crashed into the tree in the backyard? He was so angry that I thought he was going to explode or something and we all thought it was because you destroyed his broom. Remember how we went outside a week later and the broom was still in the tree, forgotten? I didn't understand it then, but I do now. He hadn't been angry over the broken broom; he was angry because you could have been hurt. He loved that broom, but he loved you more. He still loves you James, but don't ask him to give up someone he loves just as much. Not even you would be that cruel. Come for dinner on Christmas Eve. If you won't do it for Dad, do it for me and Al. Please. Love, Lily P.S. I miss hearing from you too, but next time can you owl at a more reasonable hour?
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TBC Back to Index Chapter 18: Twelve Years Later Disclaimer: I am not JKR. I receive no monetary gain from this story. I make no claim to any of the characters and mean no offence by any actions they take. All characters depicted in sexual situations are above the age of consent. As always, thanks to the wonderful Sesheta_66 for beta and Accioscar for britpicking. Twelve Years Later Chapter 18 If I could give you the world
It was a beautiful night to spend outdoors. Harry had softened the chill in the air with a warming charm, and the full moon lit up the sky almost as if it were midday. As Jaejoong lay stretched out in Harry's arms he was struck again my how much of a miracle it all was - that they could be together like this, happy to share in the silence surrounding them. Occasionally a small animal would scurry past or an owl would hoot off in the distance, but mostly there was only Harry's breath, warm and comforting against his ear. Over the last week, Harry had fluctuated from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows, and it killed Jaejoong that there was nothing he could do to help the situation. He knew what it was like to be so overwhelmed with happiness and yet weighed down with such sadness at the same time. He'd gone through a similar time of unbalance after he and Harry had become friends. Harry's presence, and Jaejoong's growing affection for the man, had forced him to come to terms with his desire for boys over girls. He'd always known it in the dark recesses of his mind, at least for as long as he could remember, but admitting it to himself had been a sour potion to swallow. The realisation that he'd never live up to what his family wanted him to be, that he'd never fall in love with a woman and carry on the Kim name like his parents wanted, had hurt. That year had been a confusing time for him, almost as confusing as his seventh year had been when he'd been forced to reassess everything he'd ever been taught: his beliefs, his place in the world, what it meant to be a Kim. If only he'd been able to do it a few years sooner things might have been very different, but Harry had been right when he said they needed to grow up before they could have ever been friends. They'd both had to come to terms with who they were. Harry had to realise he was worthy of the love that was so freely bestowed upon him, and Jaejoong... well, he'd had to realise that he wasn't worth quite as much as he'd thought he was. It was a hard lesson to learn, but he'd come to accept that a person's value wasn't in how much money they had or how important their contacts were or how pure their blood was. Harry had taught him the value of the human soul, a lesson he would be forever grateful for, because it had allowed him to raise his son to be a better person than he'd ever be. That lesson, more than any other, had shaped the man that he now was, the man that Harry loved without reservation.
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The beginning of his relationship with Harry had brought with it some of the happiest moments of Jaejoong's life. In the beginning everyone had scoffed at their tentative friendship, had assumed Jaejoong was in it for the power that came with befriending the Saviour of the World. Only Harry had accepted it at face value; had never accused Jaejoong of using it, or his name, for the status it could have brought. Not that those thoughts hadn't crossed Jaejoong's mind back then. It was true, after all - being seen with the great Harry Potter was a smart move if he were ever going to be accepted in the post-Voldemort world. Strangely enough though, that wasn't why he'd done it. He wasn't sure why or how it had happened; it just seemed like the right thing to do. It fit in a way nothing else in his life ever had. Now, sitting on their back patio feeling the steady rhythm of Harry's breathing against his back, the strong arms that wrapped around him, cherished him, protected him, Jaejoong couldn't imagine his life any other way. He had tried his best during the previous week to distract Harry with a plethora of shopping and decorating. Harry had been like a kid experiencing his first Christmas. Everything had to be perfect: the tree, the decorations, the presents fuck, the sheer quantity of presents they'd bought still amazed him. He knew Harry was going overboard as a way to apologise to his children for the pain he'd caused them, and Jaejoong hadn't had the heart to discourage him. He knew they didn't need it, but if it made Harry feel better, then he didn't see the harm. They'd still not heard even a peep from James, which had Jaejoong pacing the halls whenever Harry wasn't around. He'd honestly thought James would change his mind about joining them for Christmas Eve, but with only a week to go, Jaejoong began to give up all hope. Tomorrow was going to be a new chapter in their lives. They had agreed that it would be best if Ginny picked Albus and James up from King's Cross station, and Marsalis had volunteered to pick up Sungwoong to avoid any confrontation between Jaejoong and James, should they run into each other. Marsalis was to bring Sungwoong over directly from the train station, and Ron would be bringing Al and Lily over before dinner. All three children would spend the first week of holidays, including Christmas Eve, with their fathers, then Christmas Day and the following week with their mothers. It seemed straightforward enough, except for James, who had previously refused to spend any time with Harry at all. Harry respected his decision, not wanting to push him into anything, but Jaejoong knew it hurt Harry more than he would ever admit. Jaejoong wasn't sure what to expect with the boys home. He'd adjusted easily to Lily's presence at the house, had learned to love it actually, and even missed her when she wasn't around. Of course, he couldn't wait to spend some time with Sungwoong. His son had already made him promise they would go Christmas shopping together so he could pick up gifts for his mother and Al. He'd even asked if it would be appropriate to get Harry and Lily something as well. That had made Jaejoong smile like a loon. Thankfully, no one else had been present to witness it. But he'd be lying if he didn't admit he was a bit worried about spending an entire week with Al. He knew from what Harry had told him, and the numerous letters from Sungwoong, that Al was a lot like Harry. Every time he thought about the child, he couldn't help but think about Harry at that age. He knew, intellectually, that Al was a different person; Merlin only knew he and Sungwoong were very different in many ways. But on some bone-deep level, he couldn't help
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but look at Al and see what he never saw in Harry as a child. It was like a knife that twisted in his chest every time he thought about it. "Are you nervous?" Harry asked, his voice hinting at his own insecurities. "I'm never nervous. What's to be nervous about? They're our kids." Harry chuckled, the vibration resonating along Jaejoong's back. "So that's a yes, then. Good. I'm glad I'm not the only one." Jaejoong was glad he was facing away from Harry so the man couldn't see his grin. He wasn't sure if it was reassuring or disturbing that Harry knew him so well. His only comfort was knowing that the reverse was also true. "Sungwoong will take his cue from Al, and if your son is half as astute as Sungwoong says he is, Al will know this. Sungwoong knows how much you mean to me and you're obviously important to Al, but even if my son likes you, don't expect him to show it; he is a Kim, after all. He won't wear his heart on his sleeve like you do." "I just ... I want him to like me." "He will. Everyone likes you, Harry." "You didn't." Jaejoong turned slightly and was surprised to see the regret in Harry's eyes. "Sungwoong isn't me and he hasn't been taught the same lessons I learned as a child. Everything's different now. You know that. Besides," Jaejoong paused, grinning in an attempt to lighten the conversations, "you're no longer an annoying speccy git. I happen to find you rather irresistible." "You're completely biased though, now aren't you?" "Mm," Jaejoong answered as he let his right hand drift along Harry's thigh. "Completely and totally biased. Yes."
Harry's arms tightened slightly around his waist, pressing what Jaejoong knew would be Harry's hardening cock against the small of his back. It still amazed Jaejoong that even the slightest touch could make Harry want him. The smallest hint in his voice could make Harry forget his worries, if only for a little while. They both had such incredible power over each other in that way the power of touch and need and desire. Of love. Jaejoong understood, now more than ever, the power of love and the varied ways it manifested itself. The completely unconditional love a parent feels for their child, the innocent, trusting love a small child has for their parent, the genuine love one has for a friend. But this this all encompassing love that he and Harry shared was something he'd never expected. That he could
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love another person so much that he'd give up almost anything for them. It still surprised him, even after all these years, that he was capable of such deep feelings, such raw and unbridled emotions. He'd learned long ago not to question it, but at times like this, when the entire universe seemed to be bending and twisting to give him what he wanted, he couldn't help but wonder how he'd ever been so lucky. "You know, this will be the last night we're alone for a whole week." That was all that needed to be said, and judging by Harry's reaction, the only words that would be needed for the rest of the night. Everything else would be communicated with warm kisses and gentle touches, starting with Harry's lips on the side of Jaejoong's neck, Harry's hand lifting to his jaw line to twist his face ever so slightly so those lips could find his mouth and make Jaejoong forget about everything else. It was an awkward angle, but when Harry's arm loosened around his waist, Jaejoong was able to readjust his body to fit against Harry's as perfectly as it always had. The touches were slow and gentle, exploring yet never demanding that would come later. But for now they revelled in the closeness, in the slow burn that would build to the point where they would both lose all control and turn into nothing more than desperate, hormonal animals. Jaejoong loved it when that happened. When he could watch Harry let go fall apart and then let Jaejoong put him back together again. But he loved this too. The way Harry held him as if he were the whole world. The way Harry's lips moved against his skin, setting his body on fire, willing it to mould into whatever Harry wanted it to be. He'd never been big on foreplay before Harry not that he'd had much experience anyway but the few times he'd had sex had been all physical; get right to the point and then walk away. With Harry, it was different. Coming wasn't as much a goal as it was a culmination of an amazing journey. By the time they had shed their shirts and Harry had finally managed to unbutton his trousers to wrap a confident hand around Jaejoong's cock, he was staggered by how much he wanted from the man. By how much he wanted to give Harry in return. The last thing he expected was for Harry to start laughing against his shoulder. "Is there a reason you're laughing while holding my cock in your hand?" he asked, not sure whether to be annoyed or insulted. It seemed to only make Harry laugh harder though, making Jaejoong huff and decide annoyed was definitely the route to take. "I'm sorry." Harry barely managed the words between deep, radiant laughs. "It's just that old Mrs Harper just peeked out of her upstairs window. The sight of us snogging, half naked in the middle of winter, made her mouth fall open so fast I think she may have lost her false teeth." Jaejoong glanced up just in time to see the curtains close. He wondered if the old spinster had gone to call the Muggle authorities or to retrieve her binoculars. "Perhaps we should move the party indoors before we give the poor woman a myocardial infarction." Harry's snicker turned into a bit of a snort. "Most people would call that a heart attack, you know."
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"Yes, well, I'm not most people, now am I?" Jaejoong found Harry's reluctance to release his now softening cock to be somewhat endearing. "Don't worry, Harry. It's not going anywhere." Harry chuckled softly again against his neck. "It had better not I'm not even close to being finished with it yet." ~~~~ Jaejoong wondered how much longer it would take him to adjust to having sex in a familiar bedroom instead of a magically decorated storage room or a stuffy hotel. Actually, he couldn't think of a single time in familiar surroundings previous to these last few months. Well, that wasn't entirely true. There was Marsalis' bedroom at the Manor, of course, but that had been so far from this that it wasn't even funny. It could have been one of the most embarrassing moments of his life, had Marsalis not been so completely amazing. Not sexually, of course. Any straight man would have certainly thought so, but Jaejoong was about as bent as you could get. No, the night Sungwoong was conceived had been wonderful, but not because of the sex. It had been that night when he'd realised Marsalis had been truly honest about what she wanted from him, and what she would give him in return. Friendship ... and freedom. She gave him the freedom to love whomever he wanted, and he ended up loving her for that. "Hey, you look a million miles away," Harry commented as he returned from the loo and climbed under the covers next to him. "Has the mood been irrevocably damaged by our nosy neighbour?" "No, I was just thinking ... never mind, you probably don't want to know." "Sure I do. I always want to know what you're thinking." Jaejoong turned his head to look into Harry's earnest eyes. "I was thinking about the night Sungwoong was conceived." Harry grinned mischievously. "Hmm ... I can't help but wonder if I should be insulted by that. Should I be worried about my technique?" "You, my dear man, have absolutely nothing to worry about," Jaejoong answered with a laugh as he pulled Harry on top of him. "Unless you keep talking, that is. Then I might just have to take care of this myself." He emphasised the point by arching up just enough to rub his cock against Harry's hip, setting those bright green eyes on fire again. Jaejoong recognised that particular shade of green and instantly knew that they were done with soft and gentle. The thought had barely crossed his mind when Harry's mouth crashed into his, and whatever thoughts he might have had thereafter were wiped away by Harry's searching tongue. Jaejoong gladly gave in to his demands, handing himself over completely.
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By the time Harry had tired of his mouth, Jaejoong was quite sure his lips were swollen and likely bruised. And by the way Harry was sucking his neck he knew he'd be resigned to wearing high neck collars for the remainder of the week. But it was all a small price to pay for this - this wanton, needy, demanding man that reminded him of how desirable he still was. That made him keen and beg in a way he never, ever thought he would. He whimpered when Harry's lips left his neck, only to whine and arch up when those same talented lips found his left nipple and teased it mercilessly before moving on to the other. All Jaejoong could do was thread his fingers into Harry's thick hair and hang on for the ride, mumbling words that he was sure made no sense to either of them. "You like this don't you, Jaejoong? When I take what I want without waiting to see if it's okay." "It's yours to take, you know" Jaejoong groaned, unable to complete his thought much less the sentence. Harry's hand wrapped tightly around his cock again, almost unbearably so, and Jaejoong bucked into it, wanting more, wanting Harry's mouth on him more than he'd ever wanted anything. "Please, Harry." "Please what, Jaejoong?" Harry asked, his voice forceful and confident. Jaejoong was amazed that his cock could ache more than it already did, but that voice he would do anything that voice demanded. "Suck me, Harry. Please. I need" Oh, fuck, Harry's mouth felt so good. Those glorious lips wrapped around his cock, sucking, teasing just the way Jaejoong wanted. Only Harry had ever been able to tear down all his defences and turn him into a complete babbling fool, but he always made it worthwhile, and this was no exception. He was so wrapped up in the sensations of Harry's mouth he almost yelped when a slick finger pressed into his arse. Then Jaejoong was buried beneath an avalanche of sensations, all the stress and anxiety he'd been holding in check for weeks splintering inside him and flowing out through his cock. Jaejoong couldn't have opened his eyes if he tried. He winced as Harry gave one last lick to his overly sensitised cock. He heard Harry chuckle as he climbed up onto the bed beside him, and Jaejoong tried to swipe at him to shut him up, but his bones seemed to have liquefied and seeped out of him as well. "I think you needed that more than either of us realised," Harry whispered as he draped both and an arm and leg over Jaejoong's slightly trembling body. "Nghn." Jaejoong tried to speak but his tongue seemed to have gone on holiday. He reached for Harry's cock, intent on at least attempting ... something, but was met with a cock just as wet and spent as his own. He managed to crack one eye and arch a brow in question. Harry smiled, complete and total devotion written on his face as if in neon lights. "You think I could possibly see you come completely unravelled like that and not come all over these expensive satin sheets?" Jaejoong managed a small laugh, knowing that if their roles were reversed there'd be no way in
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hell he'd be able to stop himself. He lifted a hand to trace a sweaty path from Harry's temple down to his jaw line, already rough with stubble. "I love you, Harry." It came out so softly that the only way Jaejoong knew Harry had heard it was by the smile that lit up his entire face. TBC Back to Index Chapter 19: Twelve Years Later Disclaimer: I am not JKR. I receive no monetary gain from this story. I make no claim to any of the characters and mean no offence by any actions they take. All characters depicted in sexual situations are above the age of consent. As always, thanks to Sesheta_66 for beta and accioscar for britpicking! *smooches* Twelve Years Later Chapter 19 The White Knight
"You've nothing to be concerned about, you know." Sungwoong glanced up at his mother. He could swear both of his parents had used Legilimency on him since the day he was born, because they always seemed to know precisely what he was thinking. "I know. It's just ... odd." "You'll adjust easily, I'm sure. Your friend Al will be here this evening, and you'll adore Lily. You've always wanted a little sister, haven't you?" "Yes, but that was just so I'd have someone to torment. Al's already made me promise to behave myself with his sister. Apparently the honour of subjecting one's siblings to pain and suffering is reserved for family." His mother chuckled as she reached out to ring the doorbell. Sungwoong tried not to fidget. The house seemed nice enough on the outside, but it certainly wasn't the Manor. He couldn't picture his father being happy in a home with less than fifty rooms, but when the door opened and Sungwoong saw his father, he realised immediately how wrong he was. He squelched the urge to throw himself into the man's arms as if he were five. "Hello, Father. This is a lovely home." Both of his parents grinned as his father reached out to lay a hand on his shoulder. "Son, I do believe you've grown. Too big to give your father a hug?" He didn't think he'd ever be too big for his father's hugs, but he rolled his eyes anyway, knowing he'd get a hug whether he agreed or not. "Oh, come here, you brat, and pay your respects." His father laughed as he pulled Sungwoong
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forward and wrapped strong arms tightly around his shoulders. "Now come in. I'm sure you're anxious to see your room." He really wasn't that anxious, but at least it would be something to get his mind off spending a week with ... the saviour of the world, his best friend's father, his father's boyfriend ... bloody hell, when had things become so complicated? The thought had no more than entered his mind when said saviour rounded the corner with a hesitant grin that Sungwoong recognised well enough from Al. Well, at least they appeared to be on equal ground, as Mr Potter seemed just as nervous about spending a week with him. Equal ground he could handle. "Hello, Mr Potter. It's nice to see you under more positive circumstances." The man laughed, holding out his right hand. "Yes, Sungwoong, it is. You should probably drop the Mr Potter bit though, and just call me Harry. My daughter will insist on it when she arrives anyway." Sungwoong shook Harry's hand, not missing the way his father's smile widened. "Well, now that the formalities are over, I'll be on my way." His mother leaned down to kiss him on the forehead before looking up at his father with a teasing grin. "You'll manage to keep him out of trouble, yes?" "I'll make no such guarantee, Marsalis, but I will certainly do my best." All three adults chuckled as she moved forward to kiss both his father and Mr Potter on the cheek. It shouldn't have surprised Sungwoong his mother was nothing if not impeccably mannered but for some reason it did. He knew his mother harboured no ill will toward Mr Potter, that his parents' marriage had been one of convenience rather than marital love, but it still seemed odd to see her treat them both with equal affection. As the door closed behind him, his father ruffled his hair before levitating his trunk and guiding it out of the front hall. "Why don't you get settled and then we'll have time to sit and catch up before Al and Lily arrive?" Sungwoong nodded, following his father up the curved stairs and down a wide hallway, to a room that looked much bigger than he would have imagined. He was thankful that Mr Potter hadn't followed so he'd have time to get his bearings. "The house is nice, Father. Not quite as small as it looked from the outside." "Well, it's certainly not a mansion, but I like it. You and Al could have had your own rooms, but we thought you'd be more comfortable sharing. We can always make adjustments for the summer if you'd like." "No, I ... you were right. I think we'd both prefer to share. We're used to it already at school." His father situated his trunk in a corner and plopped onto one of the beds something he'd never
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seen his father do before. "I know this is a bit strange for you, Sungwoong. If you feel uncomfortable about any of it, I hope you know you can talk to me." Sungwoong sat on the other bed, facing his father and for the first time since arriving, he could see the concern in the man's eyes. He wasn't sure why that helped. He knew no one could ever displace him in his father's heart, and he was thrilled with the idea of him and Al being "family," but he couldn't help but feel a bit jealous knowing that his father spent so much time with Mr Potter and Lily while he was away. He was sure it was just the strange surroundings, and once Al arrived, everything would be fine. It was just that ... he wasn't at all sure what it was. "I'll be fine," he said, trying to appear confident. "It'll just take a bit of getting used to, that's all." His father nodded as he stood, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Why don't I have Kreacher bring up some hot chocolate and jam tarts while you get unpacked? That wouldn't ruin your appetite for dinner would it?" Sungwoong looked up at his father and smiled. He knew it was an odd combination, but when he was very small, for some reason hot chocolate and jam tarts had always made him feel better when he'd been upset about something. It had been several years since he'd asked for it, but he was immensely pleased that his father still remembered. Apparently, he wasn't hiding his discomfort as much as he thought. Either that or his father just knew him too well. "I think that would be brilliant," he answered with a smile of his own. ~~~ Sungwoong grunted and swore when something large bounced on his bed. He didn't remember falling asleep after drinking his hot chocolate. He snorted, thinking his father had probably put a Calming Potion in it before the odd little elf brought it in. He glanced up to see his friend smiling down at him. "Al, what the hell? I was sleeping, or hadn't you noticed?" "Of course I noticed, idiot. I wouldn't have been bouncing on your head had you been awake. It's almost time for dinner and Lily's been driving me mental wanting to meet you." Sungwoong shoved Al off his bed as he sat up. His friend simply laughed and bounced on the bed opposite him. He was obviously in a good mood. "What do you think of our room? It's bigger than the one I have at Mum's house and look" Al jumped off his bed and ran to a door across the room swinging it open, "we have our own bathroom! No sharing with Lily or James." Sungwoong snorted again, thinking perhaps being an only child was better than he'd thought. "You actually had to share a bathroom with your siblings?" Al laughed as he launched himself back onto Sungwoong' bed. "Well, our house didn't have enough room for the entire population of Hogsmeade. Not everyone grows up in a manor, you know."
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Sungwoong glanced up at his friend to see if he was irritated, but the friendly smile told him otherwise. "Is your uncle still here?" "Yeah. He and my aunt can't stay for dinner, but they're stopping for a cup of tea before they leave. You should come meet them. They're reminiscing about old school days and by the looks of it, I think your dad could use the distraction." "Oh, shit," Sungwoong swore as he dragged himself out of bed, irritated at himself for falling asleep in his clothes. "Father hates talking about his school days. He gets all tense and looks like he wants to hex something. Are your cousins here too?" "No, they stayed at my mum's to hang out with James for a while." "Is James still being a prat?" Al narrowed his eyes in warning. "You know he's been better lately. He's trying, and for James that takes a lot of effort." Sungwoong didn't respond to that. James wasn't as bad as he'd originally thought, but the boy was hiding something, and he had yet to sort out what it was. Grabbing his wand, he directed a Straightening Charm at his messed attire. "Sungwoong! What are you doing?" Al yelled as he made a dive for Sungwoong' wand. "We aren't supposed to use magic outside of school." "Al, there's a witch and three wizards in the house. How is the Ministry going to know it's me? Stop acting like a bloody Hufflepuff, would you?" "Does your dad let you" "No. Well, yes, sometimes. When I'm 'properly supervised,' but he's not going to know unless you tell him, now is he?" Al's face took on that expression that meant he was about to be up to no good and Sungwoong couldn't help but smile. It was then that he realised everything was going to be fine. Al was there. The Dynamic Duo - the Slytherin Snakes. Together they could do anything. "Come on, Robin," he said as he wrapped an arm around his friend's head. "Let's go rescue my father from his schoolboy woes." "Robin? You're Robin, remember?" "I'm taller. Robin was the short one." "Aren't Slytherins supposed to be villains?"
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Sungwoong whacked Al across the side of the head, making him laugh harder. "That's so Gryffindorish, Al. Sometimes I wonder if the Sorting Hat wasn't just confused." "Well, it did give me a choice." "Yeah? Me too. Wanted to put me in bloody Ravenclaw. How boring would that have been?" "Rose would have eaten you for dinner." Sungwoong grinned and waggled his eyebrows. "Eww, not like that. Gross!" ~~~~~~ Meeting Al's aunt and uncle was much less painful than Sungwoong had expected. His father's opinion of them had obviously changed over the last few months. A lot of things seemed to have changed while he was away. He'd never seen his father laugh so much. From the curious expression on Al's face throughout most of dinner he'd never seen his father laugh so much either. The two acted more like teenagers than adults bickering and teasing and apparently unable to keep their hands to themselves. Mr Potter was probably the most unassuming war hero in the history of mankind. He had that same charisma that Al had the kind that made you want to like him. Made you want to listen to what he had to say and believe every word of it. He could see how his father had fallen for him. Al had been right about Lily too. The girl was as tenacious as a lion and more curious than anyone Sungwoong had ever known. She wanted to know everything there was to know about Hogwarts the professors, the students, the classes and she soaked up information like a sponge. Sungwoong found himself wondering if she'd be in Ravenclaw, but then she'd smile that devious little smile just before slipping her broccoli onto Mr Potter's plate, and Sungwoong was forced to reconsider. He supposed it wouldn't be so bad having another Potter in Slytherin. ~~~~~~~~~~ "So, son, what do you think?" his father asked, sitting next to him after dinner while all three Potters played some ridiculous Muggle board game. "I think perhaps they're all several ingredients shy of a proper potion; that's what I think!" His father laughed, pulling him closer to deposit a kiss on the top of his head. "Don't worry. It's not contagious. At least I hope not." Al let out a whoop of joy over apparently winning the game, and both Sungwoong and his father rolled their eyes, neither able to resist laughing.
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"You seem to be feeling more at ease now. I'm pleased by that." Truth be told, Sungwoong didn't think he'd ever felt more welcomed anywhere in his entire life. Not even Hogwarts. "Well, the Calming Draught in my hot chocolate helped." "Yes, I thought it might." His father just chuckled before changing the subject. "Al seems to be a good kid. I'm glad you two have become such good friends." Sungwoong snorted. "You haven't always thought that though, have you?" "I'll admit I was a bit worried when the two of you were getting into so much trouble, but that had nothing to do with your friendship with Al. You're the only one responsible for your actions no one else," his father said firmly. "I know, Father, but" "Yes, there were extenuating circumstances, and between you and me, I'm glad you did what you felt needed to be done. But next time I trust you'll speak to me before taking matters into your own hands." "There won't be a next time." His father looked at him appraisingly and simply nodded, indicating the topic was closed and wouldn't be mentioned again. It was one of the things he loved about his father. Any mistakes Sungwoong had ever made in his life were discussed and then left to lie. His father never held them over his head or threw them back in his face to make a point. Not even when he was stupid enough to make the same mistake twice, which, granted, didn't happen very often. "Sungwoong," Al yelled over the laughter of his father and sister, "are you sure you don't want to join us in a game? I'll teach you how." "I'm quite sure, but thanks for asking." "Jaejoong?" Mr Potter added, looking expectantly in their direction. "Perhaps a nice game of wizard chess," his father answered, which led to a chorus of Potter groans. Sungwoong chuckled when his father turned and winked at him. He couldn't help but wonder how James would ever willingly give something like this up. "Well, son, I suppose that means it's just you and I. Fancy a game before bed?" Sungwoong grinned. He loved playing chess with his father, even if he rarely won. The few times he had, the amount of pride in his father's eyes had been immeasurable. "Sure," he answered. "I've been practicing."
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"Harry, do you still have that chess set I gave you?" "Yeah, of course I do. It's on the top shelf of our wardrobe." His father left the room, returning almost immediately with one of the most spectacular chess sets Sungwoong had ever seen. The white pieces were trimmed in gold and the black pieces in silver. The lines on the board were a combination of the two, gold and silver braided together to form beautiful, dancing lines. Both pairs of kings and queens were dressed exquisitely with crowns that appeared to be made up of real jewels. Sungwoong had played on some beautiful chessboards before the Kims had several family sets in their home, each one more exquisite than the next but this one ... Sungwoong was almost afraid to touch it. "This is a stunning set," he commented. His father smiled, a mixture of emotions flickering briefly across his face. "It was a birthday gift. The last one I gave Harry before he married Al's mother," his father said quietly, as if talking more to himself than to Sungwoong. "But that's ancient history, isn't it?" he said more firmly as he began to place the pieces in their place. "Shall we play?" Sungwoong didn't pry, and they ended up playing well into the evening. While Sungwoong came close to winning a few times, he suspected that was only because his father seemed to drift off occasionally as if lost in some memory. Sungwoong had taken advantage of his lack of concentration, but it hadn't been enough. It wasn't until he was packing up the set to put it away that he noticed the inscription on the bottom of one of the chess pieces. To my brave white knight. Yours always, Jaejoong. July, 2003. TBC Back to Index Chapter 20: Twelve Years Later Disclaimer: I am not JKR. I receive no monetary gain from this story. I make no claim to any of the characters and mean no offence by any actions they take. All characters depicted in sexual situations are above the age of consent. As always, thanks to sesheta_66 for the beta and accioscar for the britpick! *hugs* Twelve Years Later Chapter 20 The Bonds of Friendship and Family
"So," Harry asked as he joined his son on the sofa, "Sungwoong seemed to have a good time last night." "Yeah, I knew he would. Were you worried?"
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Harry shrugged, which was as good as admitting he had been, even if now it all seemed very silly. The boy had fit right in, although he seemed more standoffish than any of Harry's kids. At least he'd warmed up to Lily rather quickly. He'd remained distant with Harry, but Jaejoong had warned him to expect that, and he'd tried not to take it personally. Harry had been glad when Jaejoong had suggested last night that he take his son shopping this morning before Diagon Alley got too crowded. He must have sensed that Harry wanted to spend some time alone with Al and Lily. Al had matured so much since the 1st of September. He'd come into his own, it seemed. He now carried himself a bit differently and had a confidence that he'd lacked before. Harry supposed he should have expected it, but it still amazed him what could happen in just a few short months. How much things could change. "You seem to have adjusted well to ... our new situation." Al rolled his eyes and Harry couldn't help but smile. It was a gesture he'd obviously picked up from Sungwoong - one Sungwoong had inherited from his father. It was amusing to see Jaejoong's expression on his own son's face. In his younger days, Harry had often fantasised about what it would be like to have children with Jaejoong. Would they be dark-haired or blond? Would they have Jaejoong's crystal grey eyes? But unfortunately, even the miracle of magic had its limitations. "Of course I have. It's not that big of a deal. I'm not" Al stopped mid-sentence and bit his lip, drawing Harry's thoughts back to the present. "Not what, Al?" "Never mind." "Not James," Harry answered for himself, a bit sadly. "Sorry, Dad. I didn't mean" "It's okay. You can talk about him, you know. He's still your brother." "He's a prat," Al mumbled under his breath, but not so quietly that Harry didn't hear it. "I don't want the situation between me and James to affect your relationship with your brother. He needs his family now more than ever, even if he probably will never admit to it." "I know. He hasn't been so bad lately. He's been" Al looked up from the magazine he was pretending to read. His eyes looked older than they should. "He's been asking Sungwoong about Jaejoong. Not really coming out and asking, but trying to get information without us knowing it. He's not very good at being sneaky, though."
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Harry chuckled. No, James had never been one to beat around the bush. He was far too direct for that. Harry couldn't help but find that bit of information encouraging though. Perhaps James was having second thoughts after all. Maybe Jaejoong's memories had planted a seed that just needed time to grow. "I know he's been writing to Lily too. He uses my owl because he doesn't want you to know they're from him. Lily says he's been asking what you and Jaejoong are like together." "And what do you think we're like together?" Al laughed and Harry thought he saw a tiny bit of a blush. "You're like two love-struck teenagers. Scorp and I were laughing about it last night before we went to sleep. He said he'd never seen his father behave so 'childishly' in all his life." Harry loved the sound of his son's laughter. He and Jaejoong had been a bit sillier than usual the night before, but he didn't realise the children had picked up on it. He wasn't sure if they were both overcompensating for their nervousness or if they'd just been that giddy over having their children home. It had been an amazing feeling having his kids and Jaejoong at the same table, laughing and talking and being ... a family. The thought hit Harry harder than he'd expected, but that's what they were now. A family. The family Harry had always wanted but had never thought he'd really have. And James ... he'd come around. Harry had to keep telling himself that. That eventually he'd have all his kids and the man he loved in the same place at the same time. He just hoped it wouldn't take too long. "Morning," Lily murmured as she stumbled into the sitting room and fell onto the sofa, still yawning. Harry had allowed her to stay up well past her bedtime last night and was thankful she'd slept in. Otherwise, she would have been grumpier than a horn-tailed dragon. "Morning, sunshine," Harry answered as he wrapped an arm around her and kissed her on the forehead. "Are you hungry?" "Starved! What's for breakfast?" "Breakfast?" Al snorted. "You missed breakfast by a mile, you lazy lump. It's almost lunchtime!" Lily glared at her brother and laid her head on Harry's shoulder, snuggling into his side like she used to do when she was just a baby. Harry had almost forgotten how much Al and Lily bickered, and was surprised to find that he'd missed it. "Kreacher will make you breakfast if you want it, but Al's right. It's almost midday." "Is Jaejoong working today?" "No, love, it's Sunday. Besides, we both took the week off for Christmas, remember?" That seemed to be enough to pull her out of her sleepy fog. "Ooh, you're going to get me a new
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broom, right Dad? Please, please, please!" "Lily, the broom you have is perfectly fine." "Yes, but Jaejoong says" "I know what Jaejoong says, but I say your broom is just fine and as much as Jaejoong acts like he's your dad sometimes" "I'm not. And what your father says goes." Harry looked up to find Jaejoong leaning against the doorjamb, smirking. Lily burst into a fit of giggles. Al glanced around at the three of them, looking confused. "Am I missing something here?" Harry laughed and shook his head. The way Lily treated Jaejoong as if he were a second dad had become a source of amusement to all three of them and Jaejoong had fallen completely under her spell. Harry knew, at times, he should be annoyed by her attempts at manipulation, but he was too happy that they got on so well to let it bother him. Before he could explain, Sungwoong interjected. "I think it's an inside joke, Al. One you and I probably don't want to know about. Come on." Sungwoong tugged Al up by his arm and headed for their bedroom. "If you'll excuse us," he said politely, "I need Al's opinion on a purchase I made this morning." Al glanced back at Harry and shrugged before being pulled from the room. Harry looked at Jaejoong inquisitively, but all he got as explanation was an innocent, "I have no idea" look which Harry knew meant, "I know exactly but I'm not about to tell you." "So," Jaejoong said casually as he sat in the spot next to Harry that Al had just vacated, "you were discussing the new broom that Lily is most definitely not getting for Christmas, yes?" Harry didn't miss the wink that Jaejoong sent Lily, but he couldn't be bothered to care. He supposed it would be nice for Lily to have a broom that she could keep at their place so she didn't have to cart it back and forth all the time. "How did the shopping trip go?" Harry asked, deciding a change of subject was a good idea. Jaejoong shrugged and Harry wondered how the action looked so sophisticated on Jaejoong, yet so slouchy when he did the same thing. "Sungwoong seemed a bit preoccupied, but we managed to get everything on his list. His rather extensive list, I might add." Jaejoong scowled, but Harry could tell it was all for show. ~~~~
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After dragging Al into their room, Sungwoong locked it with a spell and added a Silencing Charm. "Sungwoong, what's going on?" "We need to talk and I don't want anyone overhearing." "Why don't you want" "When is your father's birthday?" Sungwoong interrupted, his voice full of an urgency that seemed to confuse Al even more. "July 31st, why?" "When is James' birthday?" "March 20th. Why do you " "Do you know if James was early?"
Al just stared, looking as though he had no idea what Sungwoong meant. "Was he delivered on his due date, or was he late? Mothers always talk about those things don't they? I was delivered early and my mother has always said I've been impatient since the day I was conceived." Al laughed then, finally understanding at least a bit of what Sungwoong was asking. "Yeah ... er, I mean, I think he was late. Mum has always said he was too stubborn to be on time even when he was a baby. But why does that matter?" "I think I know why James is more upset about our father's relationship than we are." "Scorp, now you've completely lost me. Can you please start from the beginning and tell me what it is you're on about?" "Al, have you no clue about human reproduction? The gestational period for a baby is nine months." Again, nothing from Al but a blank stare, as if his friend hadn't the vaguest idea of where he was going with this. "A witch is pregnant for nine months, Al. Remember last night I told you about the inscription on the chess set?" "Yeah, but"
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"The date was July, 2003. James was born in March of 2004." Sungwoong paused to see if the lights would come on, but nothing. "Al, for Merlin's sake, you're smarter than this. That's only eight months. Unless James was born a month premature, your mother got pregnant with James while our fathers were still dating. Al, I think your parents got married because your mother was pregnant." "Oh." Al plopped onto the bed like a deflated balloon. Sungwoong could only imagine what was going through his mind. In his excitement over what he thought was an important discovery, he hadn't stopped to think of how this new information might make Al feel. He sat on the bed next to his friend, suddenly unsure of what to say. "Look, Al, I ... my parents got married for a lot of reasons, but mainly because my father wanted a son to carry on the Kim name. I've always known that and it's never bothered me before. It always ... I don't know, it always made me feel special that he wanted me enough to marry even though he preferred men. But if I'd found out that they'd got married because my mother was pregnant if I'd been an accident that would have bothered me. James ... well, he's older isn't he? He would have figured this out already, and he must have come to terms with it. But now, to find out that your father his father was involved with someone else at the time and that it was a man, nonetheless. That your father's entire life has been changed just because he was conceived ... well, I can see why he's so upset by it. Not only does he feel like he wasn't really wanted, but now he feels like it was his fault that your father left someone he loved someone he loved enough to wait fourteen years for to marry someone he obviously hadn't loved at the time. That's what James has been hiding. Why he keeps saying we don't know everything." "Did your dad tell you all this?" "No. Not in so many words, but he has a way of saying things without saying them and then letting me figure it out for myself. He's done it for as long as I can remember. Critical thinking, he calls it." "Bloody hell, I never would have survived with your parents." Sungwoong laughed. It was likely the truth. "The point is, we need to talk to your brother." "But how?" "Did you bring your cloak?" "Yeah, but" "We can Floo over tonight after everyone's in bed." "The wards at my Mum's won't let you in." "Then you'll have to go through alone and drag your stubborn brother back here."
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"I don't know, Sungwoong. You might be right but" "When have I ever been wrong, Al?" Al shoved him playfully and grinned. Sungwoong was relieved to see his friend wasn't upset by his breakthrough. "Shut it, prat. I'm sure I could think of a few times, but we don't have time for that. What I still don't understand is why now? I mean, if he knew already, which he must have judging by his initial reaction to Dad's announcement, then why wasn't he upset about it before?" "Well, that's relatively simple if you think about it. He'd thought your parents were happily married. That they'd probably been seeing each other and in love before she got pregnant. That they would have ended up married anyway, eventually, in which case James wouldn't feel like the cause of it. He would have just thought his coming along had sped things up a bit. But now he knows that your father was with someone else. That he wasn't conceived out of love. That if your mother hadn't got pregnant, your parents would have never married. He probably has some ridiculous sense of guilt mixed up in that empty head of his." "But Dad didn't ... I mean, he wouldn't have had to marry my mum. Not unless they wanted to, right?" "Al, I've only known your father for a day and even I know he would have married the mother of his child even if she'd been a total stranger. It was the honourable thing to do." "They'd gone out together in school," Al said quietly. "I knew they'd broken up and then ... I just assumed they'd got back together again before they got married. Neither of them ever talked about it, but I didn't ... do you think they had an affair?" Al's head shot up, looking rather alarmed. Of all the answers Sungwoong had sorted out, that was one that still eluded him. He shook his head, thinking about the conversation he'd had with his father earlier. "I think maybe it was just a one-time thing. Father said something about how one night can change your life. Actually, come to think of it, he's always said that. That one wrong decision, one poor choice, could change your life forever. I'd always thought he was talking about things that had happened in the war because he said it with such sadness. I guess maybe there was more to it than that." Al turned and looked at him with curiosity. "Why are you helping James? He's been a complete arse to you since the day you met." Sungwoong shrugged, feeling uncomfortable under Al's scrutiny. "He's your brother. If I had a brother, it's what I'd want you to do." Al stared for a moment longer and then simply nodded, a wave of understanding passing between them. Sungwoong found himself, once again, grateful that they had become friends. TBC
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Back to Index Chapter 21: Twelve Years Later Disclaimer: I am not JKR. I receive no monetary gain from this story. I make no claim to any of the characters and mean no offence by any actions they take. All characters depicted in sexual situations are above the age of consent. Feedback: Rocks my world! Thanks to Sesheta_66 for being such an awesome beta! Twelve Years Later Chapter 21 Brotherly Love
"You don't know anything, Al!" James was pacing the bedroom, arms flailing in agitation. Al knew his brother didn't like being forced into a corner and made to talk about things, and he wasn't at all sure how to get through to him. He just knew that he had to. The longer things went on like this, the harder they'd be to face in the end. "Yes we do. We know that Mum and Dad got married because she was pregnant with you. We know that's the reason you're so upset about Dad and Mr Jaejoong. That you feel ... I don't know, responsible or something. Why didn't you say anything?" "What was I supposed to say?" James turned on the spot, directing his irritation at Sungwoong. "How can you not hate my dad for sleeping with my mum behind his back? How can you not hate me for being the cause of it all?" If Al hadn't known better, he would have thought he saw a flash of pity in his friend's eyes. "It's not my place to judge your dad for what he did. My father has forgiven him and I'll respect that decision. It was your father's mistake, not yours, anyway. Why would anyone hate you for that? Besides, if it hadn't happened, I'd never have been born." "But" "Has Dad ever made you feel like he didn't want you?" Al broke in. "Has he ever made you feel like he'd be happier had you not been born?" "No, of course not, but" "Then why are you so angry with him? You've said you were over the whole shock of finding out he was gay" "I am," James said adamantly. "Okay. Then why are you still refusing to see him?" "I don't know, Al! It's complicated all right?" James suddenly stopped his pacing and sat on the
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bed, looking as though all the fight had just whooshed out of him. "How am I supposed to ... I mean, every time I look at him see them together I'll just think about how things could have been different if I ... if I'd never been born." Al had never seen his brother look as much like a little kid as he did at that very moment. He sat on the bed next to him, his heart aching for the pain so evident in James' every action. He reminded Al of an injured bird, flailing at anything that came close and just injuring himself more for it. "James, Dad's happy. If you would just talk to him, you'd know that. And Mum seems happier now too. Did it ever occur to you that if you hadn't been born, if none of us had been born, Dad might not be happy? He's always said he'd wanted kids for as long as he could remember. Maybe if he and Mr Jaejoong had stayed together, Dad would have missed having kids. Maybe this was just the way things were meant to be." "Do you honestly think that?" James asked, his voice a perfect mix of disbelief and hope. Sungwoong sat on the other side of James, sighing. "I know Father would have wanted a son. A Kim heir. He probably would have sacrificed that for your dad, but he would have resented it. Your father probably would have too, eventually." James glanced from one boy to the other as though he were trying to sort out if they were being honest or just manipulative. Al couldn't say he blamed him for that. They were Slytherins, after all. "You really think they're happier because of ... what happened?" "If you'd stay, you'd see for yourself," Al answered. Sungwoong snorted. "Yes, if you'd seen them last night though, you might have lost your dinner. They're like lovesick teenagers. Holding hands under the table, accidently brushing against each other in the hallway" "Snogging in the kitchen when they think no one knows," Al added, laughing. "It's really rather embarrassing." Sungwoong laughed at that too. "James, it's so obvious that they're happy that it's almost unsettling. Al's right; you should stay and see for yourself." "But it's been months. How do I ... what would I even say to him? And after what I did with the photos ... your dad must hate me." "You didn't do that," Sungwoong stated matter-of-factly. "It was Johnson and his merry band of Gryffindorks" "But I knew about it. I encouraged it, even. In the beginning I ... bloody hell, if you two hadn't "
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"Yes, you have a point there," Sungwoong interrupted, his voice a bit harsher than before. "You could have handled that better, but if my father was going to hold it against you, you would have known it by now. Trust me on that. Plus he knows well enough about mistakes. He obviously made some colossal ones when he was younger." "Mr Jaejoong's not half bad James. Dad could have done a lot worse." "He could have stayed with Mum," James countered. "He could have walked away from her before you were born," Al spat, his voice louder and harder than he'd intended it to be, but he couldn't help it. His brother was so thick-headed at times he wanted to scream. "Would that have been better?" "I ... hell, I don't know." "Exactly. You don't know, so stop being so bloody stubborn and think about someone else's happiness for a change." ~~~~ Sungwoong grunted as he pushed Al's arm off his chest. These beds were larger than the ones at Hogwarts, but still too small for two people. Whatever had possessed him to give James his bed last night was beyond him. He had a bloody room of his own but had refused to admit he was staying right up to the moment he started snoring. Sungwoong flopped out of bed and grabbed his trousers. It was still early, but he thought it wise to warn his father before James just showed up for breakfast. He stumbled into the kitchen. As expected, his father was sitting at the table with a cup of tea and the morning's Daily Prophet. "Good morning. You're up early. I had thought you and Al would sleep in, what with the late night excursions and all." Sungwoong probably should have expected that too, but he'd forgotten about his father's ability to know things even when he shouldn't. "Er ... yeah, about that. I sort of thought you should know that James is here." His father's brow arched; whether in question or irritation, Sungwoong wasn't entirely sure. "Is it too much to expect that his mother is aware of this?" "Ah ... no, probably not," Sungwoong answered, shuffling his feet nervously. "He hadn't planned to stay." His father sat his cup down, folding the paper neatly before standing to retrieve a piece of
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parchment from a nearby drawer. He scribbled a short note and handed it to Sungwoong. "Will you find Heldrad and send this off to Al's mother? I'll let Kreacher know there will be one more for breakfast." Sungwoong took the note, hesitating before leaving the room. "Um, don't you want to know why he's here?" "I suspect from the questions you were asking yesterday that I already know. What I am curious about is why your speech seems to have suddenly become so ineloquent." Sungwoong laughed. "You spend most of the night talking to two overly distraught Potters about their parents' sex lives and you'd be stuttering too." His father smiled, pulling him into a tight embrace. "If this means what I think it means, Harry and I both owe you and Al our utmost appreciation." "I think we'd settle for not being grounded for breaking house rules." "Yes, well, there is that. I suppose sometimes rules are meant to be broken, aren't they?" Sungwoong grinned and hugged his father tightly before rushing off to find the owl. ~~~ Jaejoong looked down at Harry lying so peacefully in the bed. He wondered if he should wake him, at least to warn him that James was there. But then again if he did, Harry would go into one of his fits of nerves and would be more wound up than necessary. No, better to let things unfold naturally and hope for the best. He'd wanted to ask his son for details, wanted to know everything that had been said, but he knew that wouldn't be fair to James or Harry. This was a family matter, after all, and as much as Jaejoong knew Harry considered him family, he wasn't sure how far that privilege extended. Besides, Harry would function better on a few more hours of sleep. They had been up rather late the night before. He dressed quickly, leaving Harry a note on the bedside table next to his wand and glasses. It would be more comfortable for James if he wasn't around when the boy awoke. Jaejoong didn't want to risk scaring him off before he'd had a chance to at least talk to Harry. It was probably too much to ask that things be resolved immediately, but this was the first step. The simple fact that James was here was enough to make Jaejoong hope that they were finally on the right track. When he finally made it downstairs, Al and Sungwoong were huddled together on the sofa, heads practically touching as they whispered. Lily sat in the chair opposite them, glaring. Jaejoong wondered if they thought they were protecting her by leaving her out. Al should know his sister well enough by now to know that wouldn't last long. Lily saw him first and her glare immediately disappeared. "Jaejoong," she said cheerfully, her eyes lighting up like the sun. She looked at the cloak draped over his arm and frowned. "Are you
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going out before breakfast?" "Yes, I'm afraid I've a bit more shopping to do. My mother has hinted that I've been neglecting her of late. Perhaps you could join me? I'd appreciate a female perspective." "Oh, yes!" Lily bounced from her chair faster than a Snitch, heading to her room to get dressed. "Don't be too long," he called after her. "I'd like to get an early start." He smiled as she waved him away without even turning around and he found himself wishing, not for the first time, that she was really his. Sungwoong stared at him suspiciously. "Didn't you buy Grandmother a new string of pearls just yesterday?" "Well, your grandmother can never have too much jewellery, and I thought it wise if I weren't here when James wakes up." "You don't have to go," Al said cautiously. Jaejoong smiled. The boy would never know how much those words meant to him. He hoped it was Al's way of saying he was accepted as a part of the family. "Thank you, Al, but I think it will be easier on him this way. And perhaps it'll protect Lily from a conversation she's not yet ready for, don't you think?" "Oh. Yeah, I guess you're right about that," Al answered, a blush creeping up his neck. Sungwoong snorted. "Don't I keep telling you Kims are always right?" "Yeah, and I keep ignoring you, don't I?" Al pushed at Sungwoong playfully, both unable to conceal their smiles. ~~~ They had only just Apparated to Diagon Alley when Lily grabbed Jaejoongs hand and tugged in the direction of Quality Quidditch Supplies. "I honestly don't think my mother will appreciate a broom," Jaejoong said with a grin. "Oh, we both know you were only getting me out of the house because of whatever Al and Sungwoong were whispering about. I may be young, but I'm not stupid you know." Jaejoong simply chuckled and allowed himself to be dragged down the street. There were very few shoppers about this early, but the ones that were out gave them odd looks. As if they recognized them both, but couldn't quite reconcile the fact that they were together. Or perhaps they were just wondering why Harry wasn't with them. Jaejoong ignored them as he always did. "I've never thought you stupid, Lily. You're anything but."
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"Then tell me what they were trying to hide. It's about James and Dad. I know that much." They approached the shop and Jaejoong reached out to pull the handle, holding the door open for Lily to enter. "You're not going to, are you?" Lily continued, staring at the open door. "It's not my place to tell you. Sometimes there's no harm in not knowing." Lily huffed, releasing his hand to stomp through the door in the same way Jaejoong would have when he was her age. Lily wasn't nearly as spoilt as he had been, but he knew she hated being left out more than anything. If she were his child, he would have explained it to her long ago, but she wasn't his child and it wasn't his place to make that decision for either James or Harry. "Lily," he said softly, once he'd reached the wall where she was staring up at the very broom he'd bought her for Christmas. She refused to look at him and Jaejoong trailed his fingers through her long hair. It was more strawberry blond than Weasley orange and Jaejoong wondered if she'd inherited it from Harry's mother instead of her own. "Lily, look at me." When she finally turned her head, he could see uncertainty in her blue eyes. "I would tell you if I could." "So is Al going to hate Dad now too?" she asked quietly. Jaejoong kneeled next to her, holding a tiny arm in each hand. "No, Lily, Al doesn't hate your father and neither does James. Hopefully, after today, hell realise that. Just let it go for now, please. When the time is right your father will explain everything, but he can only deal with James right now. Can you understand that?" It took her a few moments, but when she finally nodded, Jaejoong pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her tiny frame. "Your father loves you." "I know," she answered, hugging tightly. "I just" "Don't like to be left out. I know. But you need to trust us on this, all right?" Lily nodded once more before looking back up at the brooms hanging from the wall. "So, which one did you get me?" "You are a cheeky little brat, you know that?" Lily beamed as if he'd just given her a great compliment, and Jaejoong couldn't resist tickling her until she giggled. TBC
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Back to Index Chapter 22: Twelve Years Later Disclaimer: I am not JKR. I receive no monetary gain from this story. I make no claim to any of the characters and mean no offence by any actions they take. All characters depicted in sexual situations are above the age of consent. Thank you to Sesheta 66 and Accioscar for beta and britpick brilliance! Twelve Years Later Chapter 22 Home
Harry awoke to the sound of laughter drifting up from downstairs. It felt good to have a houseful of kids again, even if there was still one missing. It was a sobering thought and Harry pushed it away, determined to enjoy this week for what it was, refusing to let thoughts of James ruin it for any of them. He would come round eventually; Harry was sure of it. Their bed was warm and Harry really didn't want to leave it, but Jaejoong had likely been up since early morning and was probably tired of all the chatter by now. Dragging himself out of bed, he grabbed his trousers and a favourite T-shirt one of the few Jaejoong wouldn't wrinkle his nose at and headed down to join his family. No sooner had he opened the bedroom door than he was assaulted by the scent of breakfast. Not just buttered toast as he was accustomed to, but also bacon, sausages, eggs, beans and even black pudding, if he wasn't mistaken. Kreacher must be going all out for the kids this morning. His stomach growled in appreciation as he descended the stairs and strode across the sitting room. He paused as he approached the kitchen door, listening to the giggling that mingled with the clinking of cutlery and the teasing typical of siblings and friends. Harry stood, soaking up the sounds of happiness, of family, of everything he'd ever wanted. He was sure he was smiling like an idiot when he finally pushed the door open. The laughter stopped almost instantly, and he stared at the three pairs of eyes looking up from the table. "Good morning, Dad," Al offered cheerfully, ignoring the fact that Harry was standing, frozen, in the kitchen doorway. The scrape of his son's chair against the floor seemed to echo through the suddenly silent room. Al stood to place his plate in the sink, tugging on Sungwoong' sleeve to encourage him to do the same. "Er ... we'll just be in our room if you need us," Al continued, smiling up at Harry before he scooted past, Sungwoong in tow. The commotion cleared some of the cobwebs from Harry's confused brain. "James," he said finally. "It's good to see you." "Yeah," James answered, sounding almost as uncomfortable with the situation as Harry was. "I'm sorry to just barge in unannounced but ... well, I guess ... you know; we should probably talk."
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~~~ It felt as though they'd visited half the shops in Diagon Alley before Jaejoong finally decided it was safe to return home. Safe. He wondered at his choice of words. Safe for whom, he wondered. A bubble of apprehension began to form in the pit of his stomach. It only got worse when they exited Flourish and Blotts to see Ron Weasley heading in their direction. Lily dashed towards him immediately, throwing herself into his arms. "Uncle Ron! What are you doing here?" Ron bent down to give his niece a hug before looking over her shoulder, his expressionless eyes peering at Jaejoong. "I came to take you home with me. Aunt Hermione has a surprise for you. But first I need to talk to Jaejoong, all right?" "Why? What's the matter?" "Nothing, Lily. I just have a message to deliver." Ron passed Jaejoong a folded note, avoiding his eyes. Jaejoong's stomach twisted when he read it. Jaejoong, James would like to talk to you alone, if that's OK. He's waiting at home. I've taken Al and Sungwoong out for a bit. Whatever he says, Jaejoong, just remember that I love you. Harry
~~~ The house was jarringly silent when Jaejoong stepped from the Floo, feeling as though he was about to be ambushed. From the look on James' face, he wasn't far off. "Hello, James. You wanted to speak to me?" "Yeah. I ... you should probably sit." Jaejoong removed his heavy wool coat and hung it neatly across the back of the sofa. James wouldn't look at him, which only made Jaejoong's anxiety rise. He wished Harry had at least hinted at what this was all about. "Where's Harry?" "He's at Mum's. I need to ask you something." "All right." Jaejoong sat in the high-backed chair next to the fireplace, trying to appear completely unaffected by the fact that Harry was at his ex-wife's home. He wasn't going to jump to conclusions ... at least he was going to try not to.
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"I talked to Dad this morning and well ... I need to know what you would do if I asked him to choose. You know, between me and you." Jaejoong inhaled deeply, leaning his head back against the chair as he closed his eyes. He didn't want to think about what he would do, but he couldn't avoid the question forever. "Did you?" "If I did, what would you do?" James asked defiantly. The boy was obviously used to dealing with Slytherins. Jaejoong lifted his head and opened his eyes. James was watching him closely, not a hint of what he was thinking in those wide brown eyes. "It would kill him, you know," he said softly. James looked away, twisting his fingers together nervously. "Would you leave him?" James asked, almost as softly. Jaejoong almost laughed, not from humour, but from near hysteria. "Before I can answer that question, I should probably tell you something about my past." "Please, just" "Give me this much, James. Please." The boy nodded, once again avoiding Jaejoong's eyes. "You probably already know that when I was sixteen, I found a way to let Death Eaters into Hogwarts." James looked up, eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Yeah. I do." "What you probably don't know, what was never exactly common knowledge because I was underage, was that I came very close to killing Dumbledore myself." James' eyes widened and he opened his mouth to comment, but Jaejoong held up a hand to stop him. "Your father insists that I wouldn't have done it. I'll never be sure of that. What I do know is that I couldn't do it. Do you understand the difference?" James shook his head, his face a shade paler than it had been moments before. "Voldemort had threatened the people I love. You don't know much about me, but if there's one thing you should know, it's that I will do anything absolutely anything, to protect those that I love. I couldn't do it, because sometimes, I'm not as strong as I would like to be. I love Harry. There's nothing I wouldn't do to make him happy." James continued to stare studiously at the floor. Jaejoong wasn't sure if it was a good sign that the boy couldn't look him in the eye, or if it was a very bad sign. It could be either. "You're asking me if I would leave him. If I would bow out gracefully and let him be happy with
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his son and his family. But, James, he would never be happy if you asked him to choose. Do you understand that? He needs us both." "But would you? Would you leave him if you thought he could be happy?" Jaejoong leant forward, letting his head fall into his hands and against every instinct he had, he knew he had to be honest. "I couldn't, James. I made him a promise. That I would never walk away from him. I can't break that promise, not even if it means he might lose you. Even knowing how much that would hurt him, I couldn't. Not even if I wanted to." James stood without another word. As he passed Jaejoong on his way to the Floo he stopped and turned, looking as though he wanted to say something, but unsure of precisely what. Jaejoong looked up, searching for something anything that would give him a clue of what James had told Harry earlier but there was nothing. Just a confused teenage boy who seemed to have the weight of the world on his shoulders. Jaejoong didn't know what to say, and from the looks of it, James didn't expect him to say anything . He turned back, and in a whoosh of green he was gone. Jaejoong didn't move. He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there before the Floo flared to life again and Harry stepped through. "Hey." For the second time that day, Jaejoong wanted to laugh. What was he supposed to say? Hey, Harry, sorry I've ruined your life. At least you have one son that doesn't hate me. He'd never wanted to disappear so much in his entire life. Harry would resent him for the loss of his son; there was no doubt about that. Oh, he wouldn't mean to, but this was Harry. He wouldn't be able to stop it. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, refusing to look up to see the pain in his lover's eyes. Harry knelt down next to him, his fingers threading through Jaejoong's hair, and Jaejoong wanted to pull away. He wanted to run and forget and never come back. "Hey. Look at me." Jaejoong lifted his face, his eyes still closed. "I'm sorry, Harry. I couldn't" His words were cut short by a soft kiss. "James has agreed to stay with us over Christmas. Whatever you said, there's no need to apologise." It took a few seconds before the words made sense and Jaejoong opened his eyes. Harry was smiling. "What?"
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Harry laid one hand on Jaejoong's thigh, his other hand resting gently at the nape of Jaejoong's neck. "James ... well, he still doesn't understand us, but he loves me. Whatever you said convinced him that I wasn't ever going back to Ginny, and that no matter what, you'd always be a part of my life. It's going to take him some time to get used to it all, but he's willing to try." "But I thought he'd" "Issued an ultimatum?" Jaejoong nodded, still not sure of what exactly had just happened. "I think he was considering it, but ... well, he may be my son, but he's got a lot of his Uncle Ron in him. He's smart enough to change tactics if the odds of him losing are high enough." Harry smiled, and for the first time in fourteen years, there wasn't a hint of worry or regret in his eyes. Jaejoong had almost forgotten how they looked, how clear and bright the green was when it wasn't clouded by guilt. "I love you," Harry whispered against his lips before kissing him with a warmth that could only come from Harry. "He's coming round. Al and Sungwoong told me about their talk last night, and I understand a lot more now than I did. We can work through it. I know we can. He just needed to know that he didn't have a choice." "What did he" Jaejoong swallowed, his words lodging in his throat. "What did he tell you? About what I said?" Harry smiled again, but this time it was teasing and mischievous. "It wasn't so much what he said as what he didn't say." Jaejoong's forehead crinkled in confusion. "He didn't say anything about your conversation, Jaejoong. He just came out of the Floo and nodded to Al, like he'd confirmed everything Al and Sungwoong had told him. Like he had to see for himself if what they'd said had any merit." Jaejoong thought about that for a minute and he began to understand. It had been a test. Not just to judge whether James had a chance of winning, but also to see if Jaejoong was willing to stay and fight. He suddenly had a new sense of respect for Harry's eldest son. Perhaps he wasn't all Gryffindor after all. "You really think...?" "That he's forgiven me? I like to think he has. That's not to say everything will be perfect, but ... it's the first step, and the first step is always the hardest, right?"
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Jaejoong nodded, a sense of relief seeping into his soul, but he was still not prepared to say it aloud, just in case. "I have something to show you." Harry stood, holding his hand out and guiding Jaejoong gently towards the stairs. "It's something I bought right after you shared your memories with James, sort of a leap of faith. I think you might like it." Jaejoong's relief suddenly turned into a very un-Jaejoong-like giddiness and he couldn't seem to stop smiling. He let Harry tug him up the stairs and sat on the bed in silence whilst Harry rummaged through his wardrobe, finally pulling out a large, oddly shaped box. Harry sat it on the bed between them, grinning. "Don't laugh, okay? There's a story behind it." Harry opened the box to reveal the oddest-looking clock Jaejoong had ever seen. The face was oval, but there were no numbers round the edges and there were six golden hands with delicate script written across each one. Jaejoong cocked his head so he could read the words they were names. Harry, Jaejoong, James, Sungwoong, Albus, Lily. "What is it?" Jaejoong asked, confused. "It's a clock" Jaejoong started to interrupt, but Harry stopped him. "Not that kind of clock. Here" Harry waved his wand and the face of the clock shimmered, more words dancing round the outside where numbers should have been. Jaejoong still didn't understand, until suddenly the hands started to move. The hands labelled James, Albus and Lily moved to point to the spot that said "Mum's", the hand labelled Sungwoong moved to "Friend's" and the two hands labelled Harry and Jaejoong moved to point to the top of the clock, to the spot labelled "Home". Jaejoong looked up, eyes wide when they met Harry's. "The Weasleys had one and I always thought it was brilliant. I asked Arthur where he got it and ... it took a while to find the wizard who makes them, but ... I wanted one for our family. Do you think it's silly?" Jaejoong looked back at the clock, at the two golden hands that pointed to "Home". Home. His home and Harry's home. Their home. And their family. Jaejoong wasn't at all prepared for the wave of emotions that came with those words. For the sense of relief that came with the knowledge that it was true. That even though there were still things they needed to work on, all the real barriers to their happiness had finally been broken, the bridges all crossed, and they were both still standing. Together as they always would be. All the emotions that he'd held so tightly in check seemed to stir together and surge forth from somewhere that Jaejoong had never known existed. "Jaejoong?" Harry pushed the clock aside and scooted closer to Jaejoong's side. "It's not silly," Jaejoong managed before the tide of emotions broke in what probably appeared to be a spectacular mental breakdown. Harry didn't look at him like he was crazy though. His eyes
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softened as he pulled Jaejoong's limp body against his chest and held him whilst his tears fell. Jaejoong wasn't sure exactly what was happening. He just knew it felt good and right and that he was, for the first time in his life, exactly where he was meant to be. When Harry finally pulled away to gently wipe the tears from Jaejoong's cheeks, he was smiling. "Only you could hold yourself together for fourteen years and then fall apart when everything's finally okay." Jaejoong didn't fully understand it until Harry had said the words, but after they were spoken it all made perfect sense. "Sometimes you have to let things fall apart so you can put them back together the way they're supposed to be." And now they were. He had Harry. They had their children and their friends. They had everything that would ever matter to either of them. "You're okay, then?" "Yes, I'm ... I'm better than okay." Jaejoong smiled, feeling the truth of those words right down to his bones. He glanced to the side of the bed where the clock still lay in the box, cradled by soft white paper. "How accurate is that clock?" he asked. Harry looked confused. "It's ... accurate to the second. At least it's supposed to be. Why?" "Can we set it so an alarm goes off when the kids' hands move to "Leaving" so we have a bit of warning before they get here?" Harry chuckled, lifting the clock off the bed to set it on the bedside table. "The kids are having dinner at Ginny's," he said as he climbed back onto the bed, gently nudging Jaejoong down onto his back. "Ron said he'd bring all four of them back afterward, so we have all afternoon, if that's what you're getting at." Harry didn't wait for a response, and if he had, Jaejoong's hum of approval when their lips met probably would have been answer enough. "I love you, my dragon," Harry whispered as his lips moved from Jaejoong's mouth to skim down the sensitive skin along the side of his throat. It was comfortingly familiar. Something Harry had done so often that Jaejoong should have expected it, but it suddenly felt better than it ever had. Better than that fateful day in September when Harry's touch had reawakened things Jaejoong thought he would never again allow himself to feel. Even better than it had years ago, when they had both been sure they'd spend their entire lives together. It hadn't worked out that way, but Jaejoong couldn't possibly regret that now. The weight of Harry's body was heavy on top of him, his lips and breath warm against Jaejoong's skin, his hands gentle as they travelled the well known paths of Jaejoong's body. It was better than he'd ever imagined it would be, and he had no doubts it would only get better in the years to come. All was well. ***** The End!!
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A/N: There will be an Epilogue sometime in the near future, but I need to take a break from this universe before I finish it. Hopefully it won't be too terribly long! :-D Back to Index Chapter 23: Twelve Years Later Disclaimer: I am not JKR. I receive no monetary gain from this story. I make no claim to any of the characters and mean no offence by any actions they take. All characters depicted in sexual situations are above the age of consent. Many thanks to sesheta_66 & dysonrules for beta! Nineteen Years Later
Harry awoke to the feel of warm lips on the nape of his neck. He would have thought he'd be used to it by now, but Jaejoong's kisses still solicited the same spine tingling response they'd caused decades ago. It was true, love didn't fade with the years; it multiplied exponentially. "Morning," Harry murmured, sounding as though his mouth was filled with cotton. "Morning. I didn't think you'd ever wake up." A deep moan escaped Harry's lips as Jaejoong's hand skirted around his waist and dipped into his pyjama bottoms. He could feel Jaejoong's cock stabbing into the cleft of his arse and wondered just how long he'd been awake. "Mmm, this will have to be a quick one. We have to be at King's Cross at ten." Jaejoong made that high-pitched noise that was usually followed by a complaint. "I don't know why we have to go. Isn't that what parents are for?" "It's his first son, Jaejoong. The whole family will be there. It's tradition." "It's tradition that you bugger me senseless on Saturday mornings too." Harry grinned. Jaejoong did have a point and the firm hand stroking his cock was awfully convincing. There was no reason they couldn't do both. "If you keep that up you'll be doing the buggering because I'll be spent. I'm not twenty anymore, remember?" "That little streak of white hair won't let me forget." "You love it." "I never said I didn't." Harry could hear the smile in Jaejoong's voice. It was still among the most wonderful sounds he'd ever heard. A wave of nostalgia swept over Harry and he turned in Jaejoong's arms, looking
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into the face of the man he'd loved for a lifetime. "It's been nineteen years." "Yes, I know. Why do you think I'm up at the crack of dawn?" There were things Harry wanted to say, but he knew he didn't need to voice them. Jaejoong knew. Jaejoong always knew. "I love you, my dragon." "Mm..." Jaejoong mumbled as his lips traced a familiar path down the side of Harry's neck. "So you say." Harry grinned at the unspoken "prove it." It was something he was more than willing to do. ~~~~~ Harry looked around platform nine and three-quarters, amazed that it had hardly changed since the first time he'd seen it. "You all right?" Jaejoong asked, giving his hand a squeeze. Jaejoong was still just as handsome as always. His hair, longer than it had ever been and tied back with a velvet ribbon, still reminded Harry of spun silk, unlike his own that was now peppered white. Jaejoong teased him that one day soon he really would look like the white knight on the chess set that still sat proudly in their living room. Harry nodded as he looked round. This place held so many memories for him. If he closed his eyes he could hear Hedwig hooting from her cage, hear Ron's childish laugh as it sounded decades ago, and smell the roses and vanilla from his and Jaejoong's secret room. He could still see the light in Jaejoong's eyes as he'd winked at him across the station nineteen years ago. Could still hear the excitement of his children as they waved and said their goodbyes year after year. Could still hear Jaejoong's chuckle as he dragged him away from the station afterward. King's Cross would always be a symbol of new beginnings for him. Of happiness and hope. Harry spotted James looking at the Hogwarts Express with a mixture of dread and anticipation. He remembered those feelings all too well. It was hard to believe it had been over twenty years since he'd stood in the same spot, dropping James off for his first train ride to Hogwarts. Something in his chest squeezed tightly, and Harry wasn't sure if it was pride or regret. As he and Jaejoong approached, James smiled at them both. "Well, Dad, do you think Hogwarts can handle another generation of Potters?"
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Harry laughed, wondering where the time had gone. "I think Hogwarts can handle anything we can give it, James. Headmistress McGonagall, on the other hand, may see fit to retire soon, if she knows what's good for her. Where is the soon-to-be Gryffindor, anyway?" Jaejoong snorted. "Ravenclaw," he mumbled. James laughed and shook his head. "I'm telling you, Jaejoong, that boy is Gryffindor if I ever saw one. I hope you're prepared to lose the bet on this one." "I never lose," Jaejoong said matter-of-factly. James laughed again and extended his right hand. "If he sorts Gryffindor, you buy the drinks next Saturday night." Jaejoong grasped James' hand. "You have yourself a deal, young man," Jaejoong said, smiling. "And if he sorts Ravenclaw, I'll expect a chess rematch Sunday after dinner, agreed?" Harry chuckled. Jaejoong still couldn't get over the fact that James could best him at chess, something that made Ron inexplicably happy. Harry finally spotted Oliver at the tail end of the train, giving Ginny a reluctant hug. The boy was so much like his father at that age, insisting he was far too old for hugs in public. Harry's eyes met Ginny's just as she turned to go. She waved at him across the sea of heads and, as she took her husband's hand, Harry realised she looked happier than he could ever remember. He was glad she'd found someone who could love her the way she deserved to be loved. "I'd better go round him up," James said as he followed Harry's gaze. "Olivia will never forgive me if he misses the train." "She'll be at dinner on Sunday, won't she?" Harry asked. "Yeah, we'll Floo in from Hogsmeade around eight, unless the new students are more trouble than usual. Oh, I've been meaning to ask you, can the twins spend the night at your place next weekend? It's our anniversary, and I thought we might" "I don't think we need any details, James," Jaejoong interjected. "You know they're always welcome." James chuckled. "Thanks," he said, shaking his head as he headed down the platform toward his son. Jaejoong turned to Harry and grinned. "He didn't turn out half-bad, you know?"
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Harry was about to agree when a tiny silver bullet streaked from the platform entrance and launched itself into Jaejoong's arms. "Grandpa, you made it! Daddy said you'd be late." "Oh, did he?" Jaejoong shifted Lyra to one hip and arched a blond eyebrow at Sungwoong, who was tagging along behind her. "It was the only way to convince her we didn't need to be here at eight in the morning and we really wanted Cygnus to get a few more hours of sleep." He turned to Harry and shrugged, looking a bit sheepish. Harry reached out to take the sleeping boy from Sungwoong' arms. "Does he still have that cold? He looks pale." "He does, but he's probably pale because Al frightened the life out of us all with that metal death trap we rode here in. I do wish you'd talk some sense into him." Harry laughed at that. He may have defeated Voldemort, but talking sense into his children was often a much bigger challenge. "It is not a death trap," Al said as he strode through the entrance of platform nine and threequarters sporting a childlike grin. "It has safety features any Muggle would kill for." Sungwoong rolled his eyes. Harry could tell by the way his lips quirked upward at the edges that they'd had this conversation before. "Have you seen James, Dad? Shouldn't he be here already?" Al asked, tactfully changing the subject. "James is at the end of the train with your Mum. We've got the little ones; you two go say hello." Harry looked down at the baby in his arms, who seemed oblivious to the hustle and bustle around them. Lyra's grey eyes were wide and excited as she rattled on to Jaejoong about the latest gift her Aunt Lily had sent her from Brazil no doubt something Quidditch related. Brazil's national team was favoured to win the Cup this year, and with Lily as their Seeker, Harry had no doubt they'd do it. When Lyra spotted her Uncle James, she scurried free from Jaejoong's grasp and ran toward him, launching herself into his arms as she was so apt to do. "Thank Merlin I had Marsalis around to deal with Sungwoong when he was that age," Jaejoong said with a sigh. "I don't know how the boys keep up with her." "Jaejoong, do you think" Harry bit his lip. His past seemed to be settling in all around him. "I think quite often," Jaejoong teased. "Anything in particular you're curious about?"
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"If we hadn't... got back together. Do you think," Harry nodded in the direction where the two boys stood talking to James and Oliver. "Do you think they would have still ended up together?" "It is still a bit strange, isn't it? I mean, they've been best friends since they were eleven and the odds of them both... well, it's astronomical. One would think" "It sort of ruins my theory about what would have happened to us if we'd been friends at Hogwarts, doesn't it?" "I think some things are inevitable, Harry. Some people just take a more direct route than others." Jaejoong wrapped his arms around Harry, cocooning their sleeping grandson between them. "I also think we were lucky enough to get a second chance. Let's hope none of our children ever need that." "Or grandchildren," Harry added. "You're making me feel old." Jaejoong pouted. Harry grinned. They might be older, and perhaps a bit wiser than they were the last time they'd been here, but they were far from old. "What do you say we return this one to his parents and go visit the old storage room one more time?" "I say you're the most brilliant man on the face of the Earth."
The clock that he'd given Jaejoong years ago chimed midnight from the mantelpiece. There were so many hands on it now that it was hard to distinguish one name from the next. There were four distinct spots labelled home and each had its own little family of hands pointed to it. Harry wondered if there was a way to make a spot labelled happy. "What are you thinking?" Jaejoong asked as he curled against Harry's side. Harry simply shook his head and waved his wand to turn off the lights. He didn't need a clock to remind him of his happiness. Jaejoong did that perfectly well all by himself.
THE END!!! Finally. *G*
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Romans The Kings Gloss On Twelve Years

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RUDINI MULYA _ TEKNIK INDUSTRI UNIVERSITAS MERCU BUANA

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Twelve Years Later by Alaana Fair

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