The Belief Behind the Behavior A key for mistaken beliefs.

Based on the Psychology of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs. Adapted by Jody McVittie from similar schema by Steven Maybell and Jane Nelsen. 3/06

1. Students Behavior
Nuisance Show off Clown Disruptive Pesters Blurting out Teachers pet

2. Adults feeling
Annoyed Irritated

3. Adults mistaken reactions

Reminding Coaxing

4. Students response
Stops temporarily, but later resumes same or another disturbing behavior

5. The students belief

6. Effective prevention (Encouragement)

Spend special time Provide opportunities to contribute. Teach connection skills Set up routines Class meetings.

7. Effective responses (More encouragement)

Hear: Notice me, involve me. I care about you and _____ (Example: I care about you and will spend time with you later.) Redirect by assigning a task so student can gain useful attention Use problem-solving Touch without words Set up nonverbal signals. Set up routines Use problem solving. Take time for training Allow disappointment and frustration as new skills are learned. Promote autonomy Practice self respect Hear: Let me help, give me choices Let routines be the boss Dont fight and dont give in. Withdraw from conflict (leave and calm down) Redirect to positive power by asking for help Be firm and kind Act, dont talk Decide what you will do (vs. what students should do) Use positive time outs Hear: Im hurting Connect: acknowledge feelings Emotional honesty Make amends Teach to make amends Avoid acting on hurt feelings Avoid punishment and retaliation Clear and appropriate follow through Hear: Dont give up on me Show small steps Remind of past successes and strengths Show faith and confidence Take care of yourself and get support.

8. Goal

Guilt Sorry for Responsible for

Provoked -Indignation - (Angry)

Disbelieving Spiteful - (Angry)

Futility - Helpless (low energy)

Inadequacy or Avoidance of humiliation

Withdrawal Indifferent to work Pessimism Hopelessness

Discouraged

Compare student to others Criticize Doing for the student Giving up

Retreats further Passive No response No improvement

I cant count or belong because Im inferior to others. Its no use trying because if I did others would find out how inferior I am. Im not perfect, so Ill convince others not to expect anything of me.

Revenge

Hurtful Vindictive Rude Abusive Self destructive

Hurt

Retaliating Getting even Punishing Play victim - thinking How could you do this to me?

Retaliates Intensifies Escalates the same behavior or chooses another weapon

I dont think I belong (or count) so Ill hurt others as I feel hurt. I cant be liked or loved.

Teach/ use self soothing and calming tools Show you care Build relationship Teach/ use I statements Avoid blame or shame Encourage strengths Avoid taking sides Class meetings Give responsibilities Show confidence Show faith Teach routines Teach how to break tasks into smaller pieces Model mistakes: it is okay to be imperfect Class meetings

Misguided power

Defiant Argumentative Passive aggressive Apathetic Takes over leadership of any group

Challenged Defeated

Intensifies behavior Defiant compliance Feels he/shes won when adult is upset. Passive power

I count or belong only when Im boss, in control, or proving no one can boss me. You cant make me. You cant stop me.

Special Service

Acts pitiful Acts helpless Acts scared Acts whiny Demanding

Worried

Reminding Taking Responsibility Making excuses for the student Doing things for the student he/she could do for him/herself Fighting Forcing Giving in Thinking You cant get away with it or Ill make you Wanting to be right Wanting to be in charge/control Punishing

Acts incapable or even more demanding often with engaging drama

I count or belong only when Im keeping others busy with me. I am special. Im not sure I can do it for myself, Do it for me.

Make room for learning from mistakes. Become incompetent Avoid special service or pampering. Provide opportunities to contribute Class meetings. Provide opportunities to contribute in useful ways Set a few reasonable limits (kind and firm) Give choices Develop mutual respect Mutual problem solving. Practice follow through Class meetings.

Undue Attention

I count or belong only when I am getting attention, when others notice me.