CAF ASSIGNMENTNON VERBAL COMMUNICATION IN EVERY DAY LIFE Ill Move When I am Ready and Not Before

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Ashil John Panicker A0101911032 Section D-37 12th August 2012

Good communication is the foundation for a great professional and personal life. It is the basis for a good relationship, both professional and personal. Flawless handling of the language with exquisite and charming disposition of words to ones aid would not make a person a great communicator. Non verbal communication too should move hand in hand with the communicator to make him a better communicator. The entire thought of dividing the entire process of communication into Verbal and Non Verbal communication dates back to ancient history when man started to realise that he is a social being and he need to communicate to his fellow beings around him. His initial way of communication was by making sounds. He realised that he could express almost all his feelings to the person next to him and he felt a lot better. But as time went by he realised that he is not able to fully make his counterpart understand the essence of the message that he is trying to convey. He started using rocks and burned pieces of wood to draw and represent what all he felt like expressing to his partner. This form of pictorial and nocturnal way of representing ones feelings was one happy way of communication which took place in the initial part of human kinds journey towards what he is now. As days went by man started to realise that he is finding common pattern in sounds which he use for a certain day to day aspects of his life. For instance he started representing a particular bird with the chirping sound that the particular bird made and this went a long way in developing itself into a communication style. Hence people started communicating in a way that was accepted to one and all around him and this by and large developed into a language pattern or communication style. But it is quiet noticeable that even before the advent of similar sound patterns which later gave way to the communication, man communicated almost 90% of his feelings to his social circle with the actions that he made and this proves beyond doubt the importance of non-verbal communication. In the early part of human civilization, when man went on with the development of languages, regional languages, somewhere, man started to be obsessed with the advent of language and mastered the act of expressing himself in the best language and non verbal communication although inherent in our entire communication almost lost its charm because none started to realise the fact that it too aided a lot to the entire concept of communication(ithu split cheytha clarity koodummu thonnunnu). Then the world saw the rise of the Keats, the Shelleys and the Shakespeares(apostrophe veno?) who used to be and still holds the golden seats in the minds of all language lovers and their worldwide reputation to be the best in the entire prose, poems and drama writing industry. History remains a lot silent in this aspect whether the language or communication style gave importance to the non-verbal communication style. But after the era of these renowned writers who happened to live at various centuries across mankinds progress towards domination of the verbal communication style, the world never fell short of writers who expressed their thoughts in the their own style of writing. This era saw the rise of the greatest rulers like Napoleon Bonaparte, Cesar and many others who with their words won battles and even got rid of major bloodshed. This era actually saw the rise of renowned orators who with just a simple gesture of theirs motivated thousands to go on battle and even more to invade and lead battles. It is by then that people realised the power of non-verbal communication. People still remember these historic leaders for their valour and speeches. As time progressed world leaders like Ghandi, Fidel Castro, Gorbachev, Martin Luther King and many more rose to the recognition that they deserved with their charismatic speeches which

where a rare and rich blend of both verbal and non verbal communication. It is by then that the world had its wake up call ringing out loud stating that non verbal communication is one major aspect in communication which makes the thin line of difference between what is called as a good communicator and the best communicator. Earlier 1960s saw researchers stating that non verbal communication actually diverted the entire attention from the speaker and what he speaks to the gestures and body language that he shows. Similar stream of researches did follow but there were a lot of researchers who actually understood the vitality of non-verbal communication and formulated it to be comprising of almost 93% of the entire communication where in the verbal communication contribute just 7 percent of the entire process. Related studies always give way for more interesting researches and it even correlated the thought process, the mental structure, the confidence level in a person with the body language and gestures or in totality the non-verbal cues that he uses in communicating with one another. Studies prove that even when one is not talking, he constantly communicates to the outer world and this makes a man aware of the fact that even when he is not literally talking, he is speaking. A firm handshake from a gentleman measures the confidence level, the strong mental state of the person and this is even still considered to be as one among the few methods by which an interviewer gets a lasting impression about the interviewee. There are various other small and adequate tests of body language which many interviewers use to analyse. For instance, when standing in front a superior officer, a subordinate with his hands inside his pocket is considered to be hiding something from the superior. It is a common belief that the first 10-15 seconds of entry of a candidate for an interview inside a room of interviewers determines almost 85 percent of the selection or the rejection process. In these 15 seconds, he would hardly be asking permission as to whether or not he could enter and he would have greeted the interview panel with a shake hand or his smile. It is also a common belief that for certain job interviews there would be a member of the interview panel who is a psychoanalyst who analyses the body language of the person to be interviewed. This person might not even take part in the interview which happens there but his decision remains firm and crucial whether or not a person needs to be selected or not. Hence non-verbal communication is considered to be the most important factor or aspect of ones communication style which never stops communicating even if one is not uttering a single word. Authentic studies in this field gestures many things to us but the questions that they pose to us are even more challenging to deal with. For instance, does crossing your arms indicate that you're feeling defensive? Are shifty eyes the mark of a liar? There has been a significant amount of research on nonverbal communication and behaviour that has revealed a wide variety of ways to communicate meaning without words. From the way we dress to the way we move, our nonverbal signals can reveal a great deal about our emotions, perceptions and intentions, although many of these behaviours are so subtle that we rarely notice them consciously. According to experts, a substantial portion of our communication is nonverbal. Every day, we respond to thousands on nonverbal cues and behaviours including postures, facial expression, eye gaze, gestures, and tone of voice. From our handshakes to our hairstyles, nonverbal details reveal who we are and impact how we relate to other people.

Scientific research on nonverbal communication and behaviour began with the 1872 publication of Charles Darwin's The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals. Since that time, there has been an abundance of research on the types, effects and expressions of unspoken communication and behaviour. While these signals are often so subtle that we are not consciously aware of them, research has identified several different types of nonverbal communication. In many cases, we communicate information in nonverbal ways using groups of behaviours. For example, we might combine a frown with crossed arms and unblinking eye gaze to indicate disapproval. Even the example stated in the question which is the basis for the quotes is an exact replica of what a mans everyday thought sounds like. I will move it when I am ready and not before that is a very selfish statement which points a number of questions like, whom does he think he is?, doesnt he have any respect to the person who is waiting for him who is exiting from a parking spot?, and many more which infact is a direct question on the cultural life of the person whos life thought is detailed. Researches in these aspects prove the basic living style of many who exhibit similar patters when they are put into a strikingly similar situation. The study detailed in the topic of discussion is one such instance where in they realised and observed that people tend to pull out of the parking lot almost 10 seconds late if incase they find that the person who is going to occupy their spot after they leave is impatient and doesnt give then the exact space and time to move out of the space they were using to park their vehicle. As it is a research, it is a proof beyond doubt or proved and quantified with many observation techniques of even surveys or interviews and these studies would surely have substantial data too to prove them good. The implications of this study throw light on the various types of non verbal communication like: Facial Expression, Gestures, Paralinguistics, Body Language and Posture, Proxemics, Eye Gaze, Haptics, Appearance, Cultural aspects of an individual etc. Every of the above said factors have its immense influence on a larger scale at an organization and in the societal setup in which we put up with. A sharp shift of ones voice accompanied by an aggressive body language or a gesture or even a raised eye brow gives clue to the person to whom he is communicating that the person resents the sheer thought of what you did or said or implied. The verbal communication part of the language would sound so monotonous and without feel and life if incase it is not mixed with the correct pitch and tone of speech. From a feel less and a monotonous statement made by a manager, none would get to the feel the urgency of the situation of the vitality of the situation and it is less communicated to the people around you. Kinesics is basically the art of reading ones body language such as facial expression or gestures. It is considered to be an art and the scope of learning reached it summit but still trained experts in this discipline and their expressions are still leaving the crowd around totally clueless implications as to what the person thinks about. For instance, a poker face is one such example which is one such wherein the person sharing the common table as you are in cant recognise as to when you have a good hand with you. The face of a seasoned poker player would be one clueless face as to what is in hand with your opponent and this leaves the person playing with you to either bet low or even withdrawn from the entire poker game even if the person who could control his emotions and facial expressions with a typical poker face has very low stake cards with him. This simple example would prove to the reader beyond doubt the fetch of kinesics in ones life be in professional or to the fact of playing a game of sheer

chance. From place of work to ones personal life with his life partner and even beyond the words, a simple expression can mean almost close to anything under the sun. A battling eyelash or even a simple raise of the eye brow would send infinite meanings to a member of the opposite sex and all mankind uses these unsaid clues to even start dating a person and to end up marrying or eternally in being love with a person. A firm twist of ones own wrist to a person or rolling up of sleeves or taking off ones watch during a heated argument or searching for something which is an aid to a person would all imply that the person who does it is getting ready for a brawl or a physical assault on the other. To a person standing far off from you a smile is always a way to convey your comfort zone with the person but in case of a wry smile it means discomfort, ridiculing, belittling and all has its own meanings when it is put to use in the exact situations. Even Mahabharata, the renowned and celebrated epic of the Hindu mythology, depicts a laugh by Panchali directed to Dhuryodhana when the latter lifts his kingly attire feeling that there is water in the floor where he walks through once when he was in the magical palace built by Mayan wherein there was no water on floor. The very same laugh enraged Dhuriyodhana and this too is cited as one among the reasons for the epic battle at Kurushetra. Even in The Holy Bible it is stated that Judas betrayed Jesus Christ with a simple kiss which ultimately resulted in the crucifixion of Jesus and all these do prove to us the vitality of a simple gesture that one makes. The entire concept and the reach of non-verbal communication is so embodied in our day to day life and to our communication that we are accustomed to live with it and without which our life is almost meaningless with just 7 percent of the total verbal communication which takes us nowhere close to fully making our feelings, emotions, ideas heard to the world around us.