winter 2010

area Teen Takes on Hunger

nicole Muller creates neighbors-4-neighbors to help stock food banks

PLus: Job search etiquette

awards pg. 4

Making a Difference
Young Woman Fights Hunger from Coast to Coast
By M. Grace Maselli
Mullers hard work and remarkable willingness to bring attention to the difficulties caused by the countrys economic crisis have created their own gravitational pull. This young, dedicated advocate is called out precisely because of her age. And her work throws a spotlight on youth in general and societys perceptions of their capabilities. We often only hear about kids getting into trouble, says Larry Zippin, CEO of the Blue Ridge Area Food Bank headquartered in Verona. But there are unique individuals out there like Nicole who leave a legacy, even though shes still a very young woman. Nicoles exceptional efforts stand on their own, with her ranking now as one the most prolific individual donors of food in the history of the 0-year-old food bank, Zippin offers, adding, It speaks to what someone can doparticularly a young personwhen they have their mind set on it. Zippins view is shared by others. Nicole is not only helping the people who need food, but shes showing us a pathway by which we can help our teens grow up, says Joseph Allen, Ph.D. an author and professor of Psychology at the University of Virginia. Shes being encouraged to do this and getting support along the way.

If you dont know anyone in Alaska, but you want to connect with the people there to call attention to a vigorous campaign to get food donated for families and households that in record numbers are slipping into poverty; who would you contact?
The states governor, Sean Parnell, of course. Thats exactly what 17-year-old Nicole Muller did as part of her compassionate and ongoing quest to get all 0 U.S. states to contribute food for a growing and vulnerable populationnot only in our local community, but around the country. To date this young womans sympathetic response to hunger in her own back yard has yielded in excess of 7,00 pounds of food to feed tens of thousands of people. Muller was compelled to take action when she heard the stark news in 00 that the Blue Ridge Area Food Bank was grappling with a precipitous drop in donations to feed an increasingly needy number of families. She founded Neighbors--Neighbors, the food drive that is still going strong, shortly thereafter.
 | Charlottesville Woman

The support comes at a time when the face of poverty in the United States is shifting, with average and formerly employed Americans forced to turn for help. As a result of the economy and the unemployment situation, Zippin says, not only have we seen a significant increase in the demand for food, weve also noticed a striking increase in the number of people who indicated that they were donors to the food bank in past years but who are now clients. According to Zippin, the area food bank feeds ,000 people a month in nine cities and  counties in Central and Western Virginia. Nationwide there are  million hungry people. Help for the hungry is coming by way of Mullers Neighbors--Neighbors from  states and the District of Columbia so far, including Alaska and Hawaii, which have committed to making donations to their local food banks, a byproduct of the young womans clarion call to improve the status quo. In response, not only did Muller receive an email from the office of Alaskas governor, but actual letters of commitment to the cause from the governors of Utah, Georgia and two from Virginia, the current Gov. Bob McDonnell and former Gov. Tim Kaine. She has also received letters from Sen. Jim Webb, Congressmen Tom Perriello,

Photo by Megan Lovett

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Nicole with her first Neighbors-4-Neighbors delivery of 220 lbs. from her 12 sub-division neighbors in September 2009.

D-Ivy, Charlottesville Mayor Dave Norris and Del. Rob Bell. Word of this young champion for the people even reached as far as the White House, with Muller winning the Presidents Volunteer Service Gold Award for more than 0 hours of service. My favorite part of all this is just knowing Im helping so many people, Muller says. I was looking for some way to give back when I heard about the big depletion of food at the food bank; so many people had to start going there because of the economy, remarks the senior at Western Albemarle High School. The spark that set the entire project moving forward began in August 00 with the 1 houses in the Muller familys own Charlottesville subdivision. People were into it. They were very generous, Muller says of their food donations. She collected all the food contributions and her parents Terry and Rob Muller drove her to the Blue Ridge Area Food Bank with her initial haul of 0 pounds of nonperishable food. The effort was catapulted further with print coverage soon after in The Daily Progress, followed by local radio, where Muller was invited into the recording studio to talk directly about her food drives, as well as TV coverage. The teen has also won many awards for her efforts, including a Certificate of Excellence issued by the Prudential Spirit of Community Awards committee for exemplary community service in her state, and the Capital District Kiwanis International 010 Teenager of the Year Award, which had entries from its nearly 00 clubs in Delaware, Maryland, the District of Columbia and Virginia. Her food drives in October and November of this year have added to the growing and impressive donations Muller is single handedly responsible for spearheading. Shes even streamlined the donation process with an online form available at www.brafb.org that lets you type in Neighbors--Neighbors on the form to add to the Muller food drive tally.
 | Charlottesville Woman

According to Muller, her parents, both psychologists in private practice, have always been big on giving back, though previously Nicoles volunteerism manifested on a smaller scale: I helped my elementary school with the Fun Fair and I read to kids in the Boys and Girls Club. I had never done anything like the food bank before last summer. The outpouring of support and encouragement from other peopleand the respect that Nicoles efforts have inspired, says her mother Terry Muller, is proportionate to her daughters impetus and youth. Shes really made a mark and I think its her age. If at  I were doing it, it wouldnt be such a marvel! I think what this illustrates is that our young people have far more capacity than we realize or get to see day to day, Allen points out. In general, people dont get out of school or off the educational track and into the real worlduntil theyre 0 or  years old. Up to that point, they spend most of their time in school and school-related activities. And we forget, and they forget, that they are capable of handling adult-like tasks with just a little bit of support.

In his book Escaping the Endless Adolescence: How We Can Help Our Teenagers Grow Up Before They Grow Old, that Allen coauthored with his wife, Claudia Worrell Allen, the research shows that even young people who arent in school are being supported financially by families much longer than they were in previous generations. Weve got this idea, Allen points out, that the more we nurture our youth, the better theyll do. And thats true when children are young, but it backfires when they get older. They mature and do better when they can take responsibility for themselves. Taking part in community service can have a positive effect for teens, even when theyre not having as big an impact as Nicole Muller. Foreboding influenced by media about what society holds in store for our kids can play a role when it comes to parents giving their children freedom to grow. We live in a culture of fear, Allen says. Parents are worried that kids will screw up, or fall victim to crime. So we hold them back more than we need to. This can easily be traced to images and reporting in the media. In the past, if a teen

My favorite part of all this is just knowing Im helping so many people. I was looking for some way to give back when I heard about the big depletion of food at the food bank; so many people had to start going there because of the economy.

Nicole with Ryleigh Kastra at the food bank with Ryleighs first collection of food as Nicoles youngest Neighbors-4-Neighbors volunteer in October 2009.
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Nicoles Accolades and Influences

Larry Zippin, CEO of the Blue Ridge Area Food Bank, presented Nicole with the Predidents Volunteer Servce Gold Award for more than 250 hours of service.

was shot or victimized in some way in a small town in a remote place, it remained in the local news. Now you can see images of that shooting /7 in the national news, and it will repeat until the next shooting. And this has an overall negative effect not only on teens, but on our perception of them and how we should all move through the world. Now our brains think, This cant be all that rare, Allen says. This phenomenon plays tricks with our understanding of the facts. Crime rates are lower now than theyve been since the 10s, Allen reports, citing yearly national crime statistics published by the FBI. But most people think this is a more dangerous time than ever before to raise teens. Its great to actually see a counter message out there about Nicole Muller.

How to Raise Kids Who Care

Our relationship to honoring commitments and truth telling gets mapped early, says Peter L. Sheras, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist in independent practice since 17 and chairman at the University of Virginias Curry School of Education. Sheras is also the author of eight books, the latest, I Cant Believe You Went through My Stuff! How to Give Your Teens the Privacy They Crave and the Guidance They Need. We learn early on about peoples relationship to the truth. What a family provides or doesnt provide about the reliability of the universe has everything to do with our sense of possibility, Sheras offers. Development of a sense of commitment to others is also tied to a familys connection to its own larger community, forcing the question, what is in fact accessible to a given young person in her community? Its all about their own particular context, Sheras believes. Context and reinforcement. People need to have the opportunity not only to have their positive behavior reinforced, but to observe others being honest and true to their word. People need the scaffolding, or coaching to discern good from bad, and to augment positive behaviors, Sheras offers.

Nicole was presented with a check for being selected Capital District Kiwanis 2010 Teenager of the Year at the Governors Ball in Lynchburg on August 21. From left: Jim Hart ( President Charlottesville Kiwanis), Roger Diehl (Capital District Teenager of the Year Committee Chair), Nicole and Cathy Johnson, (Lt. Governor of Division 5 of the Capital District).

Nicole with her parents, Terry and Rob Muller and her sister, Lauren.  | Charlottesville Woman

When youre a young person, your sense of your place in the world is unfolding. Or more basically, young people tend to be simplistic in their view of the world around them, and they dont know yet what the future might be like. So they look to the people around them to model actions, feelings and acknowledgement, Sheras says. Its important to remember that for some youth, or many it could be argued, there is no one around to model positive behavior, and for others there are only negative models for how to get attention, he notes. Positive role modeling is especially important for girls, Sheras says, who are often compelled to avoid being embarrassed, but who also want to be visible. So the big question for teen girls is how do I do it? Here we have a young womanNicole Mullerwho has chosen this high-value path, most likely by emulating the positive models around her, he says. Winx Lawrence, Ph.D., has her important work rooted in a successful mentoring model. A faculty member in clinical and school psychology in U.Va.s Curry School of Education, among other things, Lawrence codeveloped the now 1-year-old Young Women Leaders Program (YWLP) that pairs college women with middle school girls for a year of mentoring. The experience is designed to foster leadership and self-esteem. YWLP has served more than 1,100 girls in the immediate Charlottesville area, operating out of multiple middle schools in conjunction with the University of Virginias Womens Center. I think that young women have a lot of pressures on them, Lawrence says. For adolescent girls in particular, relationships matter a great deal, which means theyre vulnerable to relationship difficulties. Adolescence is a time of decision-making that begins to affect girls trajectory in high school and in later life. The research suggests its a time that girls benefit from mentoring and gentle guidance, says Lawrence, co-author of Competence, Courage, and Change: An Approach to Family Therapy.

Young Women Leaders Program (YWLP)

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The program combines a group and oneto-one format for mentoring girls in seventh and eighth grade by college-age women. In pairs and in small-group meetings conversations focus on critical issues, such as peer pressure, risky decision-making, academic choices, all wrapped around helping girls to be selfdirected as a first step and leaders of others as a second step. Early adolescence is the time when theres the highest frequency of fights with family, Lawrence says. Girls are trying to figure out who they are and push boundaries in that process, which is why we work to teach mentors how to deal with this tendency, and to stay a support rather than become judgmental, she adds. Stories of success emanate from YWLPs work, with research outcomes demonstrating
0 | Charlottesville Woman

shifts in girls behaviors. According to Lawrence, Results show that a majority of the girls report a positive adjustment in 1 of 1 items on self reports of change. Examples of some of these items include: I deal directly with a sticky situation; I change the way I do my homework; and I get involved with school as a leader. Reporting also shows an increase in interceding when girls witness bullying, and a decrease in feeling like a victim. Through her food bank volunteerism, Muller at age 1 mentored then-secondgrader Ryleigh Katstra, who remains a devoted volunteer herself. Katstra first heard about Muller in a newspaper article. I wanted to volunteer because it sounded like fun and I wanted to help other people, the now -yearold Ryleigh says.

After putting flyers complete with all relevant donation facts in neighborhood mailboxes, the enthusiastic acolyte went doorto-door with her mother Michelle Katstra to retrieve offerings for the food bank. Last year Ryleigh collected 00 pounds of nonperishable food. Nicoles been a big inspiration in Ryleighs life, says Michelle Katstra, who adds that Ryleighs infectious enthusiasm for food bank volunteering has had an effect on her grandmother and friends who are now also collecting for the cause. Nicole is the cream of the crop when it comes to teenagers, Michelle Katstra says. She sent Ryleigh thank you cards in the mail recognizing her contributions, and a gift certificate to a book store as a Christmas present. Nicoles gone above and beyond.