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First Edition

iBar Mitzvah TSTI


A Parent Handbook and Interactive Tutorial for Students in the Temple Sharey Telo-Israel Bar/Bat Mitzvah Program

Welcome
Welcome to this interactive iBook-based Bar/Bat Mitzvah Tutorial. In it you will nd details about the Bar/Bat Mitzvah experience at TSTI, the Parent Manual, Prayer Tutorials for our students, Mitzvah Project details and guidelines and a growing glossary of important terms. You will also nd a guide to reciting the aliyot, something you may want to share with family members being so honored.

Welcome to iBarMitzvah Vol. 1

TSTI is an innovative and dynamic Reform congregation serving the Jewish community of Essex County and beyond. We offer a wide range of educational, religious and social programs for our congregation and neighbors. In our inclusive community we strive to connect our members to Judaism on many levels - emotional, spiritual, intellectual and ethical enriching our lives through worship, Torah and relationships that are formed with one another and with God and acts of love and kindness. We are a member congregation of the Union for Reform Judaism.

Have an iPhone or iPad? Check out the TSTI App Available HERE in the iTunes App Store

Temple Sharey Telo: Temple Sharey Telos history goes back to 1874 when ten Orange, New Jersey merchants, including the ve Harris brothers, met in a small room above a storefront on Cleveland Street to establish Congregation Sharey Telo of Orange. Twenty-one years later, the congregation moved into a Moorish-style wooden building, reminiscent of the architecture of eastern European synagogues. This served as the congregations home until 1927 when Rabbi Stephen Wise dedicated the congregations imposing, Grecian-pillared Temple on Prospect Street in East Orange. Founded as an Orthodox synagogue, in 1921 the congregation afliated with the Reform movement. Eight rabbis and three cantors, including Rabbi Avraham Soltes, Rabbi Charles Annes and Cantor Theodore Aronson served the congregation whose membership dramatically increased as the Jewish community migrated to the suburbs following World War II.

Temple Sharey Telo-Israel: The blending of our Temple families into a single congregation once again, occurred in 1982, when the 500 members of Sharey Telo carried their Torahs into the Temple Israel sanctuary. The lessons learned while apart made us stronger and more viable than ever before. Today our sacred congregation, Temple Sharey Telo-Israel, continues a proud tradition, thriving rich in spirit and strong in number. During the years we have been joined together we have watched our Temple grow, attract many young, new members, deepen our roots in the community, and develop excellent programming for members from pre-school to senior citizens. As a congregation we have made signicant contributions to the well being of American Reform Judaism and a spiritual, ethical, social, and community impact in the lives of our Temple family members. Temple Sharey Telo-Israel creates a bridge between the warmth of Jewish tradition and the challenges of life in the modern world. Throughout the history of our congregation, the ethics and rituals of our people have guided us in creating a vibrant and meaningful Judaism imbued with innovation and relevance.

Temple Israel: In April of 1948, 229 families from Sharey Telo, citing the need for a new type of religious experience, established Temple Israel in South Orange. Within a year, the congregation had purchased the beautiful Kip-Riker mansion on two and one half acres of land, the current site of our congregation. Temple Israel, led by Rabbi Herbert Weiner and Cantor Abe Levitt, grew in both size and innovation. Expansions of the facility took place in 1953 and in 1963.

Prayers
In this section you will nd the key prayers our Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidates learn. On the rst two pages you will nd the entire prayer in Hebrew and a recording of it. In the second section you will nd the same prayer read line by line.

Section 1

Shabbat Kiddush

About... Kiddush (Hebrew: ,)literally, "sanctication," is a blessing recited over wine or grape juice to sanctify the Shabbat and Jewish holidays. Tradition it begins with: The sixth day. And the heavens and the earth and all that lled them were complete. And on the seventh day God completed the labor that has been had performed, and God refrained on the seventh day from all labor. And Gd blessed the seventh day and sanctied it, for on the seventh day God refrained from all labor - from the act of creation that God had performed. The Kiddush we recite begins with a blessing for the wine and continues with an expression of gratitude for our redemption from Egypt and our subsequent acceptance of the covenant.

Blessed are You, the Adonaiour God, Ruler of the Universe, Creator of the fruit of the vine. (Amen) Blessed are You, Adonai our God, King of the Universe, Who sanctied us with commandments, and hoped for us, and with love and intent invested us with the sacred Sabbath, as a memorial to the deed of Creation. It is the rst amongst the holy festivals, commemorating the exodus from Egypt. For You chose us, and sanctied us, out of all nations, and with love and intent You invested us with Your Holy Sabbath. Blessed are You, Sanctier of the Sabbath. (Amen)

Section 2

Mah Tovu

About.. Ma Tovu (Hebrew for "O How Good" or "How Goodly") expresses reverence and awe for synagogues and other places of worship. It begins with Numbers 24:5, where Balaam, sent to curse the Israelites, is instead overcome with awe at God and the Israelites' houses of worship. Its rst line of praise is a quote of Balaam's blessing and is thus the only prayer commonly used in Jewish services that was written by a non-Jew. The remainder of the text is derived from passages in Psalms relating to entering the house of worship and preparation for further prayer (Psalms 5:8; 26:8; 95:6; and 69:14). In this vein is the prayer recited by Jews upon entering the synagogue.

How lovely are your tents, O Jacob, your dwelling places, O Israel! As for me, O God abounding in grace, I enter your house to worship with awe in Your sacred place. I love your house, Eternal One, the dwelling-place of Your glory; humbly I worship You, humbly I seek blessing from God my Maker. To You, Eternal One, goes my prayer: may this be a time of your favor. In Your great love, O God, answer me with Your saving truth.

Section 3

Morning Blessings

About... Birchot hashachar (Hebrew: "( ) morning blessings' or "blessings [of] the dawn") are a series of blessings that are recited at the beginning of Jewish morning services. The blessings represent thanks to God for a renewal of the day. The order of the blessings is not dened by halakha and may vary in each siddur, but is generally based on the order of activities customary upon arising. Judaism teaches that we should each recite 100 Blessings a day. This series of morning blessings gives us a jumpstart and also allows us to being the day with gratitude for all we have. The blessings express appreciation for life, the new day, freedom and more.

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Section 4

Eilu Dvarim

About... This Talmudic passage speaks of our responsibilities to one another. It addresses such commitments as offering a respectful burial and celebrating a new marriage. It ends with the importance of bringing peace between divided parties and the importance of Jewish tradition as a path to learning and living each of these values.

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Section 5

The Readers Kaddish


About... The Kaddish, which is in Aramaic not Hebrew, is a doxology- a short praise of God- rather than a prayer. Some version of the Kaddish serves to mark the ending of each section of the service. In this case it is a slightly shorter version of the Kaddish that marks the end of the introductory blessings and Psalms and the beginning for the formal portion of the service liturgy.

Listen

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Shma and Her Blessings

Yotzer

About... The rst blessing is known as Birkat Yotzer Or (Blessing of creation). The rst verse comes from the Book of Isaiah 45:7.[3] It is said to correspond with the rst paragraph of the Shema. The blessing of yotzer ohr gives thanks for the cosmic order; the cycles that exist in nature. The main theme of the blessing pertains to light. Light was the rst thing that God created according to the Book of Genesis, and it is light that provides life to all. Praised are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the universe, Creator of light and darkness, who makes peace and fashions all things. In mercy, You illumine the world and those who live upon it. In Your goodness You daily for new creation. How numerous are Your works, Adonai! In wisdom, You formed them all, lling the earth with Your creatures. Be praised, Adonai, our God, for the excellent work of Your hands, and for the lights You created, may they glorify You. Shine new light upon Zion, that we all may swiftly merit its radiance. Praises are You, Adonai creator of heavenly lights. 13

Section 7

Ahava Rabba
About... The second prayer after the Barchu and before the Shema is Ahavah Rabbah. It is focused on the idea that, in God's love for the people Israel, we were given guidelines for living sacred lives in the form of of the Torah and its mitzvot. It follows then that immediately after this we recite the Shma.

How deeply you have loved us Adonai, our God, gracing us with surpassing compassion! On account of our forbearers whose trust led You to teach them the laws of life, be gracious to us, teaching us as well. O Merciful One, have mercy on us by making us able to understand and discern, to heed, learn, and teach, and lovingly, to observe, perform, and fulll all that is in your Torah. Enlighten our eyes with Your Torah, focus our minds on Your mitzvot, unite our heart in love and reverence for Your Name. Then we will never feel shame, never deserve rebuke, and never stumble. Having trusted in Your great and awesome holiness, we shall celebrate Your salvation with joy. Gather us in peace from the four corners of the earth and lead us upright to our land. For You, O God, work wonders. You chose us. Truly, You drew us near to Your Great Name, that we might acknowledge You, declaring You One in love. Praise be you, Adonai, who chooses Your people Israel in love. 15

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Shma and Her Blessings

Shma
About... Shema (Hebrew: " ; Hear, [O] Israel") are the rst two words of a section of the Torah (Hebrew Bible) that is a centerpiece of the morning and evening Jewish prayer services. The rst verse encapsulates the monotheistic essence of Judaism: "Hear, O Israel: the Lord is our God, the Lord is one," found in Deuteronomy 6:4 . It is traditional for Jews to say the Shema as their last words, and for parents to teach their children to say it before they go to sleep at night. The term "Shema" is used by extension to refer to the whole part of the daily prayers that commence with Shema Yisrael and comprise Deuteronomy 6:49, 11:13-21, and Numbers 15:3741.

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Section 9

Vahavta

About... ...commonly referred to by the rst word of the verse immediately following the Shema as the V'ahavta, meaning "And you shall love...", contain the commands to love God (the Talmud emphasizes that you will, at some point, whether you choose to or not therefore "shall" future tense, love God), with all one's heart, soul, and might; then the verse goes on to remind you to remember all commandments and "teach them diligently to your children and speak of them when you sit down and when you walk, when you lie down and when you rise" (Deut 6:7); to recite the words of God when retiring or rising; to bind those words "on thy arm and thy head" (classically Jewish oral tradition interprets as tellin), and to inscribe them on the door-posts of your house and on your gates (referring to mezuzah).

Listen

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Section 10

Emet VYatziv

About... This blessing afrms the validity of God's word as found in the Torah as well as the support God gave to our ancestors at the time of their challenge in Egypt. It also gives thanks for the redemption of Israel through the Exodus from Egypt and leads to the verses from the Song of the Sea (Exodus 15:11, 18), known as the Mi Chamocha.

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Section 11

Mi Chamocha

About... Having crossed the Reed Sea (often mistranslated as Red Sea) and witnessing the destruction of the Egyptian forces following them the relieved Israelites broke into song. These words, known as the Song of the Sea are sung in the form of Mi Chamocha. A midrash teaches that as they and the angels in the heavens sang God hushed them and said, My creatures (the Egyptians) are dying and you sing songs? This is the basis for Judaism teaching to not revel in the demise of ones enemy.

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Section 12

Amidah


Eternal God, open my lips that my mouth may declare Your glory.

"

About... The Amidah or Tellah is the central series of prayers in the worship service. Also known as the Shmonah Esrey, the 18 Benedictions, during the week it consists of 19 different prayers. There are three introductory blessings thanks God. These are followed by 13 blessings of request. (In Hebrew Bakashot). The series ends with three more blessings of praise. On Shabbat, when we give thanks but do not seek to aquire, the intermediate blessings are replaced by a single blessing of thanks for the Day of Rest.

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Section 13

Avot vImahot

The Avot ("Ancestors") offers praise of God as the God of the Biblical patriarchs, "God of Abraham, God of Isaac and God of Jacob.". In the early 1990s our Reform movement added the matriarchs (God of Sarah, God of Rebecca, God of Rachel, and God of Leah) in order to move this prayer toward gender equality..

Listen

Blessed are you, Adonai our God, God of our fathers and mothers, God of Abraham, God of Isaac, and God of Jacob, God of Sarah, God of Rebecca, God of Rachel, and God of Leah, the great, mighty and awesome God, transcendent God who bestows lovingkindness, creates everything out of love, remembers the love of our fathers and mothers, and brings redemption to their children's children to the sake of the Divine Name. Sovereign, Deliver, Helper and Shield, Blessed are You, Adonai, Sarah's Helper Abraham's Shield.

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Section 14

Gvurot

About...

Listen This offers praise of God for His power and might. This prayer includes a mention of God's healing of the sick and resurrection of the dead. It is called also Tehiyyat ha-Metim = "the resurrection of the dead."
Rain is considered as great a manifestation of power as the resurrection of the dead; hence in winter a line recognizing God's bestowal of rain is inserted in this benediction. Except for many Ashkenazim, most communities also insert a line recognizing dew in the summer.

You are forever mighty Adonai, you give life to all. You sustain life through love, giving life to all through great compassion supporting the fallen healing the sick, freeing the captive, keeping faith with those who sleep in the dust. Who is like You, Source of mighty acts? Who resembles You, a Sovereign who takes and gives life, causing deliverance to spring up and faithfully giving life to all. Blessed are you, Adonai, who gives life to all.

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Section 15

Hodaah

About... This prayer of thanksgiving follows the intermediate blessings of request (bakashot) during the week and the prayer of praise for the day (Kedushat HaYom) on Shabbat and other holidays.

Listen

We acknowledge with thanks that You are Adonai, our God and the God of our ancestors, forever. You are the Rock of our lives, and the Shield of our every salvation in every generation. Let us thank You and praise Youfor our lives which are in Your hand, for the souls which are in Your care, for Your miracles that we experience every day and for Your wondrous deeds and favors at every time of day: evening, morning and noon. O Good One, whose mercies never end, O Compassionate One, whose kindness never fails, we forever put our hope in You.

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Section 16

Birkat Shalom

About... As the series of prayers known as the Telah or Amidah comes to a close this prayer expresses the universal longing for hope and peace in a world that desperately needs it. In many worship services it ends with, or after a brief period of silence is joined by, the words of Oseh Shalom. This is both a statement that God helps create peace on high and a longing that God help us do the same. As the same time we have long celebrated the notion that while we might pray as if everything depends upon God we must always act as if everything depends upon us. Grant peace, goodness and blessing, grace, kindness and mercy, to us and all Your people Israel. Bless us, our Creator, all of us together, through the light of Your Presence. Truly through the light of Your Presence, Adonai, our God, You gave us a Torah of lifethe love of kindness, justice and blessing, mercy, life and peace. May You see t to bless Your people Israel at all times, at every hour, with Your peace. Praised are You, Adonai, who blesses Your people Israel with peace.

Listen

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Section 17

Before Torah

About... The reading of the Torah is broken into various sections- aliyot- with each section framed by traditional blessings before and after the sacred text is read. Various family groupings will be called up (in Hebrew this is the word aliyah) to the Torah to recite the blessing and the Bar/Bat Mitzvah or member of the clergy will read or chant from the Torah scroll. (Note: When family members who are not Jewish are called forward for the aliyah they will often recite an English blessings after the second and nal Torah blessing is recited.)

Listen

Bless Adonai who is blessed. Blessed is Adonai who is blessed now and forever. Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the universe, who has chosen us from among the peoples, and given us the Torah. Blessed are You, Adaonai, who gives the Torah

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Section 18

After Torah

About... As noted, this is the second blessing and it closes that aliyah. This may be followed by an English blessing as well.

Listen

The individual or individuals who were part of the aliyah that is not ending will remain on the bimah for the next aliyah as witnesses. After this next aliyah they will be asked to return to their seats.

Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the universe, who has given us a Torah of truth, implanting within us eternal life. Blessed are You, Adonai, who gives the Torah.

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Section 19

Before Haftarah

About... The Haftarah, a reading from Prophets or Writings (in Hebrew Nevi'im or Ketuvim) follow the last Torah reading. It is worth noting that the word "Haftarah" is not related to the word "Torah" but references its position at the end of the servic The blessings surrounding this reading afrms the unique covenant of the Jewish people and the commitments that come with it. At TSTI whomever is becoming bar/bat mitzvah on that Shabbat will recite the blessings together and each, if more than one young person is present) will read a few lines from the portion in Hebrew and English. (It is worth noting that our tradition at TSTI is to do a small section of the Haftarah not the full portion which can be quite long.)

Listen

Praise to You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the universe, who has chosen faithful prophets to speak words of truth. Praise to You, Adonai, for the revelation of Torah, for Your servant Moses, for Your people Israel and for prophets of truth and righteousness

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Section 20

After Haftarah

Listen

Praise to You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the universe, Rock of all creation, Righteous One of all generations, the faithful God whose word is deed, whose every command is just and true. For the Torah, for the privilege of worship, for the prophets, and for this Shabbat that You, Adonai our God, have given us for holiness and rest, for honor and glory: we thank and bless You. May Your name be blessed for ever by every living being. Praise to You, Adonai, for the Sabbath and its holiness.

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Section 21

Aleinu

About...
The services moves towards its conclusion with the Aleinu, a prayer that combines the themes of particularism and unlversalism and the need for balance between them. Reform Judiasm initially focused only on the universal aspect of the blessing although that has changed in many parts of the movement. Among the Biblical text used in this prayer areDeuteronomy 4:39- afrming that our God is the only God in heaven and earth. Exodus 15:18- afrming God's eternal rule Zechariah 14:9- looking forward to the universal recognition of God's sovereignty.

Let us now praise the Sovereign of the universe, and proclaim the greatness of the Creator who has set us apart from the other families of the earth, giving us a destiny unique among the nations. We bend the knee and bow, acknowledging the supreme Sovereign, the Holy One of Blessing. Thus it has been said, Adonai will be Sovereign over all the earth. On that day, Adonai will be one and God's name will be one.

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Section 22

Kaddish
Kaddish ( ,Qaddish Listen Aramaic: "holy"; alternate spellings, qaddish, addish) is a prayer found in the Jewish prayer service. The central theme of the Kaddish is the magnication and sanctication of God's name. In the liturgy different versions of the Kaddish are used functionally as separators between sections of the service. The term "Kaddish" is often used to refer specically to "The Mourners' Kaddish", said as part of the mourning rituals in Judaism in all prayer services as well as at funerals and memorials. When mention is made of "saying Kaddish", this unambiguously denotes the rituals of mourning. The opening words of this prayer are inspired by Ezekiel 38:23, a vision of God becoming great in the eyes of all the nations. The central line of the Kaddish in Jewish tradition is the congregation's response: ( Yehei shmh rabba mevarakh lealam ulalmey almaya, "May His great name be blessed for ever, and to all eternity"), a public declaration of God's greatness and eternality. Along with the Shema and Amidah, the Kaddish is one of the most important and central prayers in the Jewish liturgy.

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Parent Manual
In this section you will nd all the information you need with regard to TSTIs approach to Bar/Bat Mitzvah as well as our congregational policies. Please note that, since Bar/ Bat Mitzvah at TSTI is not static changes will be introduces. New items from one edition to the next will be highlighted in red. As always, please do not hesitate to contact us with

Section 1

INTRODUCTION
Your child is about to prepare for a very special occasion unique to the Jewish people. As parents, you play an important role in this process. In the course of our Temples history, hundreds of boys and girls have made their way to our pulpit on the occasion of becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Each child is unique, bringing to the worship service strengths he or she never knew existed, until discovered upon recitation of the rst tremulous brachah, or the last paragraph of their speech. Also, each Bar or Bat Mitzvah has been an opportunity for personal growth, family enrichment, and communal joy. As a congregation, we have certainly learned something from the sum total of all these occasions. We have learned especially that, just as a child discovers the same nervous anticipation and receives from the experience the same sense of accomplishment, so too, each family discovers the

same questions concerning preparation and receptionwhat to do, how to go about it and when. With this in mind, this pamphlet was compiled to serve as a helpful guide and checklist. It may not completely mitigate the moments of panic that befall us all, but if it should calm a single jangled nerve, it has been worth the effort. Additionally, your suggestions and additions for the next edition are most welcome. Should you have any questions at all, feel free to call upon any member of the Temple staff for assistance.

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Section 2

WHAT IS BAR/BAT MITZVAH?


As far back as the 6th century, the age of maturity was established as 13 for a male and 12- for a female. Until the late Middle Ages, it was permissible, even desirable, for boys and girls to be married at these early ages. (Fortunately, time and values do change.) Thirteen was also the accepted age at which a boy was fully ready and knowledgeable enough to conduct a worship service to be counted in a minyan. As a Jewish tradition, Bar Mitzvah is some 800 years old. It came into being about the time that religious upheaval and persecution forced Jews to move from community to community. As a ceremony, its function was to establish (in each community) those youngsters who were sufciently trained to participate in worship. Over the course of the centuries, Bar Mitzvah has come to be viewed as the occasion of spiritual awakening andmoral responsibility. Until that age, it was the parent (specically the father) who assumed all ac-

countability for a childs actions. It is interesting to note that in a traditional Bar Mitzvah ceremony, the father (with a sense of relief), intones this most unusual blessing: Baruch Sheptarani May Onsho Shel Zeh Blessed be the ONE who has relieved me from the (spiritual/moral) burden of this child. While Bar Mitzvah has a centuries-long history, Bat Mitzvah is a very recent Jewish observance. The rst Bat Mitzvah is said to have taken place in the early years of the 20th century and is credited to have been Judith Kaplan, the daughter of Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan, and founder of the Reconstructionist Movement. Today in progressive, egalitarian synagogues, Bat Mitzvah and Bar Mitzvah are equivalent in meaning and observance. Spiritual adulthood means that from Bar/Bat Mitzvah on, a Jew is responsible for keeping his/her promises, fasting on Yom Kippur, being counted for Jewish worship, and living by the values and principles of Judaism. At Temple Sharey Telo-Israel, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is not a requirement of the religious school. It is hoped that parents will be ready to put their ceremony in a proper and positive
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perspective for the child, and that the child in undertaking the preparation for this ceremony will be intrinsically motivated and will look forward to the experience. Once the decision to prepare for becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is made by child and parents, the clergy, the Temple and the staff can be counted on to do everything possible to help make this a positive and meaningful process. Bar/Bat Mitzvah is available to every Jewish child who has attended at least four years of religious school or its equivalent. However, this ceremony is only one stage of a childs ongoing Jewish education at Temple Sharey Telo-Israel; it is by no means a conclusion. With this in mind, it is expected that prospective Bar/Bat Mitzvah intend to continue attending religious school through Conrmation, which occurs with the completion of the tenth grade and graduation in the twelfth grade.

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Section 3

ASSIGNMENT OF DATES
A parents meeting for prospective Bar/Bat Mitzvah is held in the fall of the fourth grade year. At this meeting, the Rabbis, Cantors, and several staff members will discuss with you the various aspects of Bar/Bat Mitzvah. A Bar/Bat Mitzvah Information Form will be distributed to help us assign a date that best meets your familys needs. Final date assignments for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah are sent out in the spring of the fourth grade school year. Once you receive your date you will have 2 weeks to make changes before the dates are locked in. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah worship service in the Bass Sanctuary Building of Temple Sharey Telo-Israel is currently shared by up to three students. The Gellis-Green Chapel will be made available selected Saturdays of every month. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah service in this space is for a single child or for twins.

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Section 4

RELIGIOUS SCHOOL
In order to celebrate a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at TSTI, students must attend and fulll the requirements for grades 3-7 of the Religious School. For students with special needs, or for students who have enrolled in the Religious School after coming to TSTI from another school or from out of the area, the Religious School Director, in consultation with the clergy, will determine the appropriate educational requirements for celebrating a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at TSTI.

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Section 5

TIME AND TIMES OF THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH SERVICE


Friday Evening Service The Bar/Bat Mitzvah involvement for Friday night includes the kiddish for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child and the lighting of the Shabbat candles for a Bar/Bat Mitzvah parent. We like everyone to have an opportunity to practice so that the Bnai Mitzvah children and their candle lighting parent will feel comfortable with their participation in the service. On the rst and third and fth Friday evening of every month, services begin at 7:30 pm at which all Bar/Bat Mitzvah families are involved. Please plan to arrive no later than 7:00 pm. On the second and fourth Friday night of every month, our Shabbat service will begin at 6:00 pm and will end at ap-

proximately 7:00 pm. Families need to arrive at Temple by 5:30 pm. Since the arrival time is early and the service will be about one hour long, it is our hope that you will plan a relaxing Shabbat dinner after the service. 2." Saturday Morning Service

Bass Sanctuary Building On Saturday morning, the service begins promptly at 10:15 am. The service is about 1 hours in duration. " B. Gellis-Green Chapel

Bar/Bat Mitzvah services will also be held in the GellisGreen Chapel on select Saturday mornings. The service begins promptly at 10:30 am and is about 1 hours in duration. Ofciation Typically a rabbi and a cantor will be ofciating in each of the worship spaces. " D. Signage

Signs will be posted directing families to the appropriate place of worship.


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Section 6

PREPARATION FOR Bat/ BatMITZVAH


Our philosophy is to ensure that your child has all the necessary tools to learn and master all of the material. While we cannot learn material for them, our goal is to be your childs (and your) partner in this process. Your childs Bar/Bat Mitzvah training will consist of the following components: Religious School and Mid Week Hebrew: In our religious school, students study Hebrew from the 3rd through the 7th grades. They also learn about Bar/Bat Mitzvah and its place in the Jewish life cycle. While they do learn the Hebrew alphabet and prayers associated with the Shabbat worship service, they are not ready to read from the Torah without additional tutoring for this specic task. Bar/Bat Mitzvah Classes in Mid Week Hebrew School

6th Grade Class Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation begins in the 6th grade. This class is designed to motivate the children toward their Bar/ Bat Mitzvah studies and to facilitate the students development of uency in the specic prayers and blessings needed for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. Each student will receive a booklet and containing the complete Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. In addition, students will be assigned their individual Torah and Haftarah portions. Additional information and material will be available for download from the Temple website. Special attention will be given to those students who will celebrate their Bar/Bat Mitzvah the following fall season. B. 7th Grade Class

Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation continues in the 7th grade. This course will reinforce the materials introduced in the 6th grade year: prayers and blessings Torah and Haftarah portions
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melodies (Kiddush, Kaddish, Torah/Haftarah blessings, etc.) study materials on meaning of Torah portion 2." Torah and Haftarah Preparation With Bar/Bat Mitzvah Instructors: In addition to the above-mentioned classes, each Bar/Bat Mitzvah student will meet with a special Bar/Bat Mitzvah instructor who will serve as a mentor, guiding each Bar/Bat Mitzvah student through the learning process. Each child will have approximately ten hour sessions with his/her instructor. (Since the tutoring schedule is extremely tight, it is important that scheduled lessons be attended consistently and promptly. Except in the case of illness, make-up lessons are not available).Torah Chanting For those students who wish to chant their Torah portion, the students must be completely uent in the Hebrew reading of the Torah portion. Individual chanting lessons are available. Please contact the cantors ofce directly to set up appointment times, with the approval from your assigned tutor. Note:" If your childs Bar/Bat Mitzvah is in September or October, please be sure that their summer plans include Bar/Bat Mitzvah tutoring either at camp or at home. Students are expected to have mastered all the prayers and blessings studied in their 6th and 7th grade religious school classes PRIOR to their rst meeting with the B/ Mitzvah instructor. In order to successfully master this material, it is expected that a Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidate will study this material for one hour every day at the commencement of these classes. Students are expected to keep a log of when they study and what material they covered each time period. In order to ensure each childs success, we reserve the right to limit the amount of a childs participation in the service, if he/she is not spending sufcient time preparing. 3." Additional Support

We are committed to the success of each of our students. If extra support is needed, high school students will be available in a supervised study hall on Tuesday and Wednesday afternoons, whenever religious school is in session. Bar/Bat Mitzvah students must make appointments for this extra help. There is no additional charge for this program. (It should be noted, however, that if the Bar/Bat Mitzvah needs exceeded the scope of this program, parents might elect to
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have private tutoring at their own expense.) In the event that private tutoring is necessary, please use only our recommended tutors. Please note that students may not miss regular religious school classes for any of these meetings.

A cantor will see all Bar/Bat Mitzvah students twice to review prayers and blessings. A rabbi will see all Bar/Bat Mitzvah students twice to practice prayers and review Torah and Haftarah portions. A rabbi will meet with each child to review the speech about the section of Torah they will read. For Services in the Gellis-Green Chapel In most cases, a cantor will conduct the rst full family rehearsal. In most cases, a rabbi will conduct the second full family rehearsal. Of course, in the event of illness or a pastoral emergency, the clergy member participating may change at the last minute. 5." Family Rehearsals

4. Clergy Role Bass Sanctuary Building Bar/Bat Mitzvah A cantor will see all Bar/Bat Mitzvah students twice to review prayers and blessings. A rabbi will see all Bar/Bat Mitzvah students twice to practice prayers and review Torah and Haftarah portions. A rabbi will meet with each child to review the speech about the section of Torah they will read.

"

For Services in the Bass Sanctuary Building

A. In most cases, a cantor will conduct the rst full family rehearsal. In most cases, a rabbi will conduct the second full family rehearsal. Clergy Role Gellis-Green Chapel Bar/Bat Mitzvah

Approximately 2 weeks before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is the rst family rehearsal

STUDENTS ARE EXPECTED TO HAVE ALL MATERIAL COMPLETED, MASTERED AND READY. Please be sure
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to complete your Aliyah sheet, including Hebrew names, prior to this meeting. If you have any questions or concerns, please set up a meeting with a member of the clergy prior to this time. The nal rehearsal will take place the week of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. During these rehearsals, we will review: Tallit ceremony Bar/Bat Mitzvah participation in service, including reading from the Torah and presentation of the speech. Passing the Torah through the generations Aliyot Family Shehechianu These family rehearsals are the time to bring any nal questions you have concerning the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. We will do our very best to make you and your family comfortable. It is not necessary for siblings to attend these rehearsals. Note: Please be sure to bring your completed Bar/Bat Mitzvah Information Sheet (see Appendix C) to your rst family rehearsal.
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Section 7

THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH'S PARTICIPATION


By denition, any Jew who reaches the age of 13 is automatically considered a Bar or Bat Mitzvah. It is customary, however, to participate in a Worship Service and to read from the Torah to exhibit that one is a responsible and knowledgeable Jew. At Temple Sharey Telo-Israel, a Bar/ Bat Mitzvah does the following: Friday Night Kiddush: On the Friday night prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah will chant the Friday night kiddush during the service. Saturday Morning A. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah reads or chants: the blessings before and after the Torah the Torah portion from the Torah

the blessings before and after the Haftarah the Haftarah portion in Hebrew the translation of the Haftarah portion in English B. Writes and reads: A speech containing an introduction to the Torah portion. Speech materials and instructions can be found in your childs material packet. C. In addition, a Bar/Bat Mitzvah conducts a large part of the Worship Service. D. Anything additional to the above may be discussed with the rabbi or the cantor.

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Section 8

FAMILY PARTICIPATION
1." Shabbat Candles: On Friday evening, a parent of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is invited to recite the blessing over the Shabbat candles. If you are sharing the service, you will want to discuss the candle lighting with the other family(s). 2." Ascending the bimah:" Shabbat morning, 30 minutes before the start of the service, parents, younger siblings and, of course, the Bar or Bat Mitzvah, will meet in the family room (next to the Sanctuary) at 9:45 am for Bass Sanctuary Building Bar/Bat Mitzvah or in the rabbis study at 10:00 am for Gellis-Green Chapel Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Before we ascend the bimah, we will review the tallit ceremony and the aliyot. 3." Placing the Tallit: ents place a tallit on At the beginning of the service, par-

Bar/Bat Mitzvah, parents recite the following blessings:

Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheynu melech ha-o-lam, Asher kidshanu bmitzvotav, vtzivanu lhit-a-tef ba-tzi-tzit. Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheynu melech ha-o-lam, She-hechy-anu, vkeymanu, vhigianu laz-man ha-zeh.

Blessed are You, Adonai our God, ruling spirit of the universe, who has kept us in life and sustained us, and enabled us to reach this joyous moment in life.

their child for the rst time. As the tallit is placed on the shoulders of the
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4." Passing the Torah: During the Torah Service a Jewish parent and a Jewish grandparent, as representatives of each generation, will hand the Torah to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, symbolically handing down our Jewish heritage to the next generation. For families who do not have grandparents present, appropriate substitutes can be made. The Bat/Bar Mitzvah then leads the Hakafah (Torah procession) through the congregation. The entire family is then invited to participate in the Hakafah. At the conclusion of the Hakafah, everyone returns to his or her seat. 5." Aliyot: At the service, parents, grandparents, older siblings, aunts, uncles, et al, may be honored with an aliyah to the Torah at which time those who are being honored recite the Torah blessings. In our experience we have found that having up to but no more than four individuals participating in each aliyah is optimal. However, if the need to honor additional family members arises this can be increased to a total of six family members per aliyah. We are unable to extend beyond the six person limit. Parents and possibly older siblings of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah should plan to take the last aliyah so that they may be standing with their child as he/she reads the nal section from the Torah.

Please complete the ALIYAH FORM (copy found in Appendix C) with the Hebrew name of each person to be so honored. Please make certain that the person to be called to recite the Torah blessings has rehearsed and knows the blessing very well so that they may be as comfortable as possible during this honor.

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Section 9

FAMILY MEMBERS WHO ARE NOT JEWISH:


The reciting of the Torah blessings is only performed by a Jewish person (copy found in Appendix C). However, a non-Jewish family member may be honored during any aliyah with one of the four alternate prayers also found in Appendix C. At the family rehearsal with the Rabbi or the Cantor two weeks prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, please indicate the prayer that you/they are reading.

7. " Kiddush and Motzi: At the conclusion of the service, following the nal song, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah and their siblings will lead the congregation in the recitation of the kiddush and the motzi. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah families will then follow the Rabbis and Cantors out of the Sanctuary where they can greet their guests. 8." Bimah Guest:"Please note that we no longer will have adult bimah guests.

6." Shehechianu:"At the conclusion of the Torah service, the entire family will be invited to the bimah to recite the Shehechianu prayer. At this time, close friends can be invited, as well. Please offer this invitation to your guests prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony. Jewish and non-Jewish guests can join on the bimah.

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Section 10

COORDINATING THE DAY WITH THE OTHER FAMILIES:


When you coordinate the Bar/Bat Mitzvah with another family, please keep the following in mind: If you intend to provide kipot, please confer with the other Bar/Bat Mitzvah families in order to provide enough for the entire congregation. Our Womens Connection gift shop can assist in the ordering of kipot for your special occasion There is no assigned seating in the Bass Sanctuary Building or the Gellis-Green Chapel. Guests may be seated on either side.

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Section 11

DINNER AND RECEPTION


Shabbat Dinner: If you have family and friends traveling from out of town for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, you might want to consider having a family Shabbat meal before services on Friday evening, or after services on the second and forth Friday of the month, either at your home or at the Temple. If you decide to have your meal at the Temple, please contact Karen Patton, ext. 224, to arrange for the rental of an appropriate room for the dinner. Bar/Bat Mitzvah Reception: According to Jewish custom, we are enjoined to celebrate life its stages and passages with enthusiasm and joy. Therefore, it is a part of our tradition to have a reception following the observance of a life cycle event. However, it is important to note that receptions can take many shapes and forms. They can be as simple as a kiddush or brunch at Temple or at ones home or as elaborate as a formal dinner-dance held at Temple or at one of the major hotelsor anything in between.

Yet, there is a perspective to maintain. The worship service is the focus of this life cycle event; a reception is secondary. Therefore, it is not the service that must meet the needs of the reception, but the opposite. There are also proprieties to consider. The reception should be in keeping with the sanctity of the occasion being celebrated, and the cost of a Bar/ Bat Mitzvah reception should never be such as to place an undue nancial strain on the family. (Costs of the event may include food, beverage, room rental, dance oor rental, music, dishes, servers, service charge, gratuity, table decorations, Mazon contribution, etc.) Place of Reception: Information concerning reserving Temple facilities for your reception may be obtained from Karen Patton in the Administrative Ofce, ext. 224. While we say kiddish and motzi together at the conclusion of our service, we do not have a congregational oneg. Please note: TSTI does not allow shellsh or pork in our facility.

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Section 12

HOME BOUND FAMILY MEMBER?


We are pleased to be able to provide LIVE Bar/Bat Mitzvah worship though home telephone lines to members of the congregation who are unable to attend services. Through prearrangement, you will be able to call Temple and be connected to the Sanctuary or chapel sound system by telephone. You will hear the service LIVE as it is conducted by our clergy. It would be preferable if you had a speakerphone option on your home telephone. We are also able to stream live. We are grateful for the generosity of the Josh Littman Fund that has enabled Temple to offer this service to our congregation at no charge. Please call the Temple at 973-763-4116 and ask for Karen Patton, ext. 224, for further information.

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Section 13

ADMINISTRATION JULY 2011


Bar/Bat Mitzvah Fee: We wish to remind you that the Bar/ Bat Mitzvah at fee has been billed over three years. The fee includes Bar/Bat Mitzvah training, a taping of the service, musical accompaniment and a contribution to the Oneg Shabbat and Bima owers fund. Temple requires that all membership dues, fees for religious school, capital improvements and all other related fees for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, including catering and security, to be paid in full sixty (60) days prior to your familys celebration. Religious School Participation: In order to celebrate a Bar/ Bat Mitzvah at TSTI, students must attend and fulll the requirements for grades 3-7 of the Religious School. For students with special needs, or for students who have enrolled in the Religious School after coming to TSTI from another school or from out of the area, the Religious School Director, in consultation with the clergy, will determine the appro-

priate education requirements for celebrating a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at TSTI. Respect for our Temple: We expect our children and their guests to treat our entire building and grounds appropriately. Parents will be held responsible for any damage incurred. Parents are responsible for the supervision of their guests during their reception. Caterers: Caterers should be decided upon well in advance. Karen Patton, ext. 224, will be glad to speak with you regarding the obligation of caterers. Not permitted: At Temple, shellsh and pork are always prohibited. There is no smoking anywhere in the Temple facility. Mazon: Mazon is a major national Jewish project to feed the hungry in this country and elsewhere. Temple Sharey Telo-Israel is proud to be a part of this unusual mitzvah project. Regardless of where your reception is held, it is requested that you donate 3% of the monies spent on food at your reception to Mazon. We exemplify the highest human values of our faith by remembering at our time of joy that others are not so fortunate. A check made out to Temple and des60

ignated for that purpose will be forwarded to Mazon in your name and in the name of Temple Sharey Telo-Israel. It is always appropriate to contribute to a Temple fund in honor of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Parents and/or grandparents might also wish to have one or more leaves inscribed on the beautiful Tree of Life sculpture that graces the corridor leading into the Sanctuary. (Details are provided on the Tree of Life form.) If you wish any further information, call the ofce.)

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Section 14

APPENDIX: CHECKLIST
Suggestions: Consider reserving one of the Temples party rooms as soon as possible, especially if you are part of a triple Bar/ Bat Mitzvah. Start thinking about a photographer and musicians a year in advance, especially if you are thinking of having an evening party (which means you will be competing with weddings and other social events). Make friends and especially out-of-town family members aware of your date as soon as possible. Consider setting aside a block of hotel rooms for your guests as soon as possible. Call to introduce yourselves to the other families having their Bar/Bat Mitzvah on the same day.

Start to think about your mitzvah project.

3 to 6 Months Before: Order invitations indicating a 10:00 am starting time for a Sanctuary service. (A 10:15 am starting time for the GellisGreen Chapel service.) Encourage your guests to arrive on time. You may want to include a statement in the invitation that lets your guests know that our synagogues custom is to have the Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidates leading prayers from the beginning of the service. The following statement may be helpful: On the morning of______our daughter/son_____will lead the congregation in worship and be called to read from the Torah as a Bat/Bar Mitzvah. Remember to number your response cards for people who leave out their names. Select calligrapher if desired leaving 6-8 weeks for RSVP. Helpful Hint: Take to post ofce and have hand cancelled, in order to preserve the beautiful presence of the envelope.

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Obtain a copy of the map and directions to the synagogue to be included in your invitation. If there are family members who require special arrangements for meals and proximity to the synagogue, please check with one of the Rabbis Start working on your childs mitzvah project. When planning for your daughters/sons Bar/Bat Mitzvah outts, please consider the appropriateness of any outt for the Sanctuary. We honor our congregation by choosing the proper attire. Boys wear suits and ties and girls wear dresses or suits with their shoulders covered. 6 Weeks Before: If using a calligrapher for place cards, give them list of RSVP (as updated as possible). Start making seating chart for tables. Choose someone to recite the kiddush and the motzi at the reception. (Your child will be reciting these two prayers during Friday evening and Saturday morning services).

1 Month Before: If using Womens Connection dishes, make your selections or have your caterer speak to the Womens Connection gift shop with a list of requirements. Order kipot if you will be purchasing them. Order your childs tallit. The Womens Connection gift shop has available for purchase a supply of kipot and tallit. Of course you can always use a family tallis. Practice aliyah with those family members who will be honored by an aliyah. Final Week: If the reception is at Temple, the caterers set-up can begin as early as 6:30 am to 7:00 am. Check with the Karen Patton, ext. 224, for exact time. Please let the caterer know that they may not park in re lanes or reserved clergy parking. Musician sound checks to be completed hour before worship (9:45 am). No sound check during services. Prepare party introductions and speeches, if desired.
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Photographs may be taken on the bimah Saturday morning prior to services. All pictures must be completed and equipment removed from the Bass Sanctuary Building by 9:45 am and from the Gellis-Green Chapel by 10:00 am. Clergy will be available in the Bass Sanctuary Building for pictures at 9:40 am ONLY. (Gellis-Green Chapel at 10:00 am.) GENERAL REMINDERS: First and third and fth Friday night Shabbat services begin at 7:30 pm. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah must be at Temple by 7:00 pm, in order to practice the kiddush. On the second and forth Friday of the month, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah will begin at 6:00 pm so the family must be at Temple by 5:30 pm. Each family may purchase kipot without concern for color, understanding that guests of the other Bar/Bat Mitzvah families may wear the kipot. What is the Bar/Bat Mitzvah obligated to learn for his/ her ceremony?

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidate is obligated to master all of the prayers assigned from the Saturday morning Shabbat service. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidate is obligated to master 4 aliyot. Each aliyah is usually 3-5 verses. 3. Chanting of the Torah is an additional option and only permissible once all materials are completely learned and uent. 4. At TSTI the Haftorah portion is read and translated.

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Section 15

GENERAL REMINDERS:
First and third Friday night Shabbat services begin at 7:30 pm. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah must be at Temple by 7:00 pm, in order to practice the kiddush. On the second and forth Friday of the month, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah will begin at 6:00 pm so the family must be at Temple by 5:30 pm. Each family may purchase kipot without concern for color, understanding that guests of the other Bar/Bat Mitzvah families may wear the kipot. What is the Bar/Bat Mitzvah obligated to learn for his/her ceremony? The Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidate is obligated to master all of the prayers assigned from the Saturday morning Shabbat service. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidate will learn 4 aliyot. Each aliyah is usually 3-5 verses, Chanting of the Torah is an additional option and only permissible once all materials are completely learned and uent.

At TSTI the Haftorah portion is read and translated. Ushers should be stationed at the entrance to the Bass Sanctuary Building At 10:00 a.m., please request all persons to be seated. Seat the congregants as far forward in the Sanctuary as possible. At 10:14 a.m., one minute before the announced time of the service, the Sanctuary doors should be closed. Remain at the doors to usher in late comers quietly. Please be aware that there may be another service in progress in the Green Chapel and children should not be permitted to wander. Ushering responsibilities conclude when the service concludes. Please plan to remain until the service has ended. INSTRUCTIONS TO USHERS FOR BAT/BAR MITZVAH SERVICES In order that our services be conducted in a dignied manner and the Bat/Bar Mitzvah be as beautiful as possible, it is important that the persons chosen as ushers understand their task. Only in this manner can we enjoy and appreciate our beautiful and moving religious service.

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SATURDAY MORNING As you prepare for your special day, please be aware of the Temple policy concerning ushering at Saturday morning services. Parents of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah will be required to usher at Sabbath services on a Saturday morning prior to your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Your service to Temple is greatly appreciated and it is our hope that you will nd it helpful, as well, in guiding you through the nal week's preparations. At the assignment of clergy lesson dates, your ushering date will be provided. A reminder letter will be sent to you a few weeks prior to your ushering date, along with an updated ushering list. If you are unable to keep your ushering commitment, please notify Carol Berkin at ext. 223 in the Temple ofce. BASS SANCTUARY BUILDING GELLIS/GREEN CHAPEL (formerly known as the 'new chapel')

At 10:29 a.m., one minute before the announced time of the service, the Green Chapel doors should be closed. Remain at the doors to usher in late comers quietly. Please be aware that services in the Sanctuary begin at 10:15 a.m. No one may wander beyond the area outside of the Green Chapel as another service is in progress. Ushering responsibilities conclude when the service concludes. Please plan to remain until the service has ended. BEFORE THE SERVICES: DURING THE SERVICES: No one may be seated: -When the ark is open -When the Rabbi is delivering the sermon -When the congregation is standing

Ushers should be stationed at the entrance to the Green Chapel. At 10:15 a.m please request all persons to be seated. Seat the congregants as far forward in the Green Chapel as possible,

-When the Cantor is singing -When the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is leading the service Use discretion in seating worshippers after the service has begun.

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Do not allow people to walk down the center aisle to be seated during services. They should use the side aisles. Small children should be seated with their parents. Please ask parents of disruptive children to quiet them or take them out of the Sanctuary or the Green Chapel. If teens seated separately from their parents are disrupting the service, ask them to quiet down or separate them. If they do not quiet down, ushers should remove them from worship. Do not let children loiter outside the Sanctuary or the Green Chapel. Allow only two (2) children at a time to leave to go to the bathroom. Inform people with cameras that no picture taking is permitted during the service. Please be sure to dress as though you were an invited guest. It is appropriate to thank clergy and others who have helped you either with a personal note or perhaps through voluntary donations to their discretionary funds. Click here for details.

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Section 16

PARENT/FAMILY BLESSINGS
On the pages that follow you will nd the various blessings that parents and other family members will recite during the service.

SOURCE OF ALL KNOWLEDGE, TEACHER OF ALL HUMANITY, YOU REVEAL YOURSELF TO US IN THE ORDER AND BEAUTY OF NATURE, IN THE CALL OF CONSCIENCE. AND IN THE GREATNESS OF MOMENTS SUCH AS THIS, THE HEARTS AND MINDS OF CHILDREN SENSE YOUR PRESENCE, AS IT IS WRITTEN: "OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF THE YOUNG YOU HAVE ESTABLISHED YOUR STRENGTH." WE THANK YOU FOR THE BLESSING OF LIFE AND GROWTH, OF LEARNING AND KNOWLEDGE. MAY THEY BRING US TO GREATER DEEDS OF GOODNESS IN THE YEARS TO COME.

HUMBLY DO WE GIVE THANKS FOR THIS DAY, AND FOR YEARS OF GROWTH AND LEARNING THAT HAVE PRECEDED IT. NOW AS STEPS FORWARD TO AFFIRM HIS/HER COMMITMENT TO THE IDEALS AND GOODNESS HE/SHE HAS BEEN TAUGHT, OUR SOULS ARE JOYFUL AND OUR MINDS AT PEACE.

WE PRAY THAT THIS DAY'S SERVICE MAY LONG ECHO IN ________'S MEMORY. MAY IT ENGRAVE ON THE TABLET OF HIS/HER HEART THE UNDERSTANDING THAT THIS DAY INITIATES A LIFE MORE FIRMLY DEDICATED TO HIS/HER HERITAGE, TO DEEDS OF JUSTICE AND KINDNESS. TO FAITHFUL MEMBERSHIP 3N THE COMMUNITY OF ALL HUMANITY. O GOD, MAKE EACH OF US A WORTHY EXAMPLE TO THE NEXT GENERATION. LET NOTHING ESTRANGE US FROM THEM AND FROM YOU, THE SOURCE OF ALL GOODNESS AND COMPASSION. HELP US, AGAIN AND AGAIN TO RENEW OUR ATTACHMENT TO ALL PEOPLE, TO WALK HAND IN HAND WITH ________ TOWARD A LIFE OF MEANING AND RIGHTEOUSNESS.

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Section 17

BAR/BAT MITZVAH INFORMATION

CANDEL LIGHTER NAME(S) AND AGE(S) OF OLDER SIBLING(S) NAME(S) AND AGE(S) OF YOUNGER SD3LING(S) PARENT PASSING TORAH GRANDPARENT PASSING TORAH Number of adults invited to service:_

download it

Number of children invited to service: Where will your celebration take place?

BAR/BAT MITZVAH INFORMATION SHEET ENGLISH NAME OF BAR/BAT MITZVAH HEBREW NAME OF BAR/BAT MITZVAH DATE OF BAR/BAT MITZVAH TORAH PORTION NAME(S) OFPARENT(S) NAME(S) OF STEPPARENT(S) (if applicable)

"Will you need to use our barrier free, wheelchair accessible ramp in our Sanctuary? NOTES: If yon have more than 30 young people attending, please ask one Temple member to be an additional usher.

ENGLISH NAME FIRST ALIYAH


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RELATIONSHIP TO BAR/BAT MITZVAH HEBREW NAME ben/bat ben/bat ben/bat ben/bat ben/bat benAjat ben/bat ben/bat ben/bat ben/bat ben/bat ben/bat bcn/bat PARENTS HEBREW NAMES SECOND ALIYAH

WITH SPECIAL PERMISSION THIS MAY BE EXTENDED TO A MAXIMUM OF FOUR

PLEASE NOTE: A Hebrew name consists of both the individual's Hebrew name and his/her parent's Hebrew names. Please make every effort to gather this information PRIOR to the. rst bimah rehearsal.

Third ALIYAH

BAR/BAT-M1TZVH ALIYAH English Name: Hebrew Name: TWO ADULTS ARE PERMITTED FOR EACH OF THE THREE ALYOT

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Section 18

Ushers
In order that our services be conducted in a dignied manner and the Bat/Bar Mitzvah be as beautiful as possible, it is important that the persons chosen as ushers understand their task. Only in this manner can we enjoy and appreciate our beautiful and moving religious service. SATURDAY MORNING As you prepare for your special day, please be aware of the Temple policy concerning ushering at Saturday morning services. Parents of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah will be required to usher at Sabbath services on a Saturday morning prior to your childs Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Your service to Temple is greatly appreciated and it is our hope that you will nd it helpful, as well, in guiding you through the nal weeks preparations. At the assignment of clergy lesson dates, your ushering date will be provided. A reminder letter will be sent to you a few weeks prior to your ushering date, along with an updated ushering list. If you are unable to keep your ush-

ering commitment, please notify Carol Berkin at ext. 223 in the Temple ofce. BEFORE THE SERVICES: BASS SANCTUARY BUILDING Ushers should be stationed at the entrance to the Bass Sanctuary Building. At 10:00 a.m., please request all persons to be seated. Seat the congregants as far forward in the Sanctuary as possible. At 10:14 a.m., one minute before the announced time of the service, the Sanctuary doors should be closed. Remain at the doors to usher in late comers quietly. Please be aware that there may be another service in progress in the Gellis-Green Chapel and children should not be permitted to wander. Ushering responsibilities conclude when the service concludes. Please plan to remain until the service has ended.

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GELLIS-GREEN CHAPEL Ushers should be stationed at the entrance to the GellisGreen Chapel. At 10:15 a.m., please request all persons to be seated. Seat the congregants as far forward in the Gellis-Green Chapel as possible. At 10:29 a.m., one minute before the announced time of the service, the Gelllis-Green Chapel doors should be closed. Remain at the doors to usher in late comers quietly. Please be aware that services in the Sanctuary begin at 10:15 a.m. No one may wander beyond the area outside of the Gellis-Green Chapel as another service is in progress. Ushering responsibilities conclude when the service concludes. Please plan to remain until the service has ended.

DURING THE SERVICES: No one may be seated:" -When the ark is open -When the Rabbi is delivering the sermon -When the congregation is standing -When the Cantor is singing -When the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is leading the service Use discretion in seating worshippers after the service has begun. Do not allow people to walk down the center aisle to be seated during services. They should use the side aisles. Small children should be seated with their parents. Please ask parents of disruptive children to quiet them or take them out of the Sanctuary or the Gellis-Green Chapel. If teens seated separately from their parents are disrupting the service, ask them to quiet down or separate them. If they do not quiet down, ushers should remove them from worship.

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Do not let children loiter outside the Sanctuary or the GellisGreen Chapel. Allow only two (2) children at a time to leave to go to the bathroom. Inform people with cameras that no picture taking is permitted during the service. Please be sure to dress as though you were an invited guest.

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Music
Heres some of our worship music. We invite you to listen, learn and sing along during services.

Section 1

Untitled

Need some text and to insert music here over time.

Rebecca- ideally something written or you on video speaking about the power of music would be great

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Family Prayers
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Tallit Blessing

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Section 1

Before Torah

About... The reading of the Torah is broken into various sections- aliyot- with each section framed by traditional blessings before and after the sacred text is read. Various family groupings will be called up (in Hebrew this is the word aliyah) to the Torah to recite the blessing and the Bar/Bat Mitzvah or member of the clergy will read or chant from the Torah scroll. (Note: When family members who are not Jewish are called forward for the aliyah they will often recite an English blessings after the second and nal Torah blessing is recited.)

Listen

Bless Adonai who is blessed. Blessed is Adonai who is blessed now and forever. Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the universe, who has chosen us from among the peoples, and given us the Torah. Blessed are You, Adaonai, who gives the Torah

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Section 2

After Torah

About... As noted, this is the second blessing and it closes that aliyah. This may be followed by an English blessing as well. The individual or individuals who were part of the aliyah that is not ending will remain on the bimah for the next aliyah as witnesses. After this next aliyah they will be asked to return to their seats.

Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the universe, who has given us a Torah of truth, implanting within us eternal life. Blessed are You, Adonai, who gives the Torah.

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Section 3

Prayer for Family Members Who Are Not Jewish


1. SOURCE OF ALL KNOWLEDGE, TEACHER OF ALL HUMANITY, YOU REVEAL YOURSELF TO US IN THE ORDER AND BEAUTY OF NATURE, IN THE CALL OF CONSCIENCE. AND IN THE GREATNESS OF MOMENTS SUCH AS THIS, THE HEARTS AND MINDS OF CHILDREN SENSE YOUR PRESENCE, AS IT IS WRITTEN: "OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF THE YOUNG YOU HAVE ESTABLISHED YOUR STRENGTH." WE THANK YOU FOR THE BLESSING OF LIFE AND GROWTH, OF LEARNING AND KNOWLEDGE. MAY THEY BRING US TO GREATER DEEDS OF GOODNESS IN THE YEARS TO COME. 2. HUMBLY DO WE GIVE THANKS FOR THIS DAY, AND FOR YEARS OF GROWTH AND LEARNING THAT HAVE PRECEDED IT. NOW AS STEPS FORWARD TO AFFIRM HIS/HER COMMITMENT TO THE IDEALS AND GOODNESS HE/SHE HAS BEEN TAUGHT, OUR SOULS ARE JOYFUL AND OUR MINDS AT PEACE.

3. WE PRAY THAT THIS DAY'S SERVICE MAY LONG ECHO IN ________'S MEMORY. MAY IT ENGRAVE ON THE TABLET OF HIS/HER HEART THE UNDERSTANDING THAT THIS DAY INITIATES A LIFE MORE FIRMLY DEDICATED TO HIS/HER HERITAGE, TO DEEDS OF JUSTICE AND KINDNESS. TO FAITHFUL MEMBERSHIP 3N THE COMMUNITY OF ALL HUMANITY.

4. O GOD, MAKE EACH OF US A WORTHY EXAMPLE TO THE NEXT GENERATION. LET NOTHING ESTRANGE US FROM THEM AND FROM YOU, THE SOURCE OF ALL GOODNESS AND COMPASSION. HELP US, AGAIN AND AGAIN TO RENEW OUR ATTACHMENT TO ALL PEOPLE, TO WALK HAND IN HAND WITH ________ TOWARD A LIFE OF MEANING AND RIGHTEOUSNESS.

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Mitzvah Project
As part of the journey toward becoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah our young people are asked to perform at least one mitzvah project. Heres a bit about our philosophy and some key resources.

Section 1

Why a Mitzvah Project

So its time to pick a Mitzvah Project. Where do I begin? Since there are so many great projects, the hardest part will be choosing. We are requesting that our Bar and Bat Mitzvah students participate in Mitzvah projects that are handson. This will alleviate many of the pressures of collecting stuff and distributing it later. Why do Mitzvot? Its simple---God commands us to. And, as Reform Jews, we are committed to Tikkun Olam helping to repair the world and making it a better place in which to live. So why the emphasis on hands-on projects? We believe that it is very important for our kids to get involved. The experience is so much greater when we interact with people, or make a connection with organizations we are helping. Hands-on projects are also exible. They can take up as little time as a few hours or they can be ongoing for a year or more. Examples of projects that have been done: Students participated in Walk-a-Thons or Bike-a-Thons. Students went to St. Annes after-school program to do art projects, sports or games, or read to the children.
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Students have participated in any of the Tikkun Committees projects. During the 6th and 7th grade years, the students will have many opportunities to discuss their projects and project ideas in class. Check the monthly Temple Bulletin for upcoming Mitzvah Projects at Temple. Most importantly, dont be afraid or embarrassed to ask for ideas. My door is always open and I would be happy to spend some time with parents and children together, working to come up with great Mitzvah ideas.

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Section 2

Some Examples

Here Are a Few Examples


Interfaith Hospitality Network: Come help work with kids. You can help with homework or just play games. Call Temple for Dates Bridges: Travel to Newark to distribute food and clothing to those in need. This is a fabulous organization they arrange our midnight run for us. Locks of Love: If you have long hair this project is great. You need to have between 10 and 12 inches of hair to be cut off. Once the hair is cut it is sent to Locks of Love to make wigs for kids with cancer or other kids who have lost their hair. No dyed hair please. You can find Locks of Love on the Web at www.locksoflove.com for more information. Other past mitzvah projects include: Visit Seniors and distribute flowers Visit Seniors to play bingo and chat with residents Therapeutic Horseback Ridding Charity basketball, soccer, baseball games Walk/Run organize your own or participate with a group of interest Pairing with a Holocaust Survivor through Metrowest In thinking about your Mitzvah Project, perhaps consider something that directly benets our own TSTI community. ...and if you are planning to donate a portion of received gifts to a worthy cause, we happen to have one right here for you to consider. There is a fund set up to help support families who struggle to pay for their child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

Share your Bar/Bat Mitzvah Project by sending a description, some personal thoughts and, if appropriate, some pictures. Click here to send your information

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Our Staff
We have a group of dedicated staff people who work together to help ensure that our students are successful in this allimportant journey toward becoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah.

Rabbi Daniel Cohen is a native of New Jersey. He was ordained by the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in 1993. For the last twenty-one years he has served Temple Sharey Telo-Israel, South Orange, where he has been the Senior Rabbi for the past thirteen years.

Cantor Finn has been a member of TSTI since 1984. Over the years she has been head of the Volunteer Choir and Outreach Committee. She received her Masters of Music degree in Performance from the Manhattan School of Music and was invested as Cantor in spring of 2010.

Rabbi Miller is proud to be a part of the Temple Sharey Telo-Israel family. A native of New Jersey, Rabbi Miller was ordained by the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion Rabbi Miller holds a Masters of Arts in Religious Education at the Hebrew Union College. Rabbi Miller joined TSTI in 1999 as the Assistant Rabbi and became the Associate Rabbi in 2001. Cantor Rebecca Moses, a native of San Antonio, Texas, earned her Bachelors Degree in Vocal Performance from the University of Missouri Kansas City Conservatory of Music and her Masters Degree in Sacred Music from the Hebrew Union College Jewish Institute of Religion in New York. She was ordained as a Cantor in 2009. Mindy Schreff, Director, Rudy and Linda Slucker Religious School. Mindy She has been a classroom educator in several grades, Family Educator, Assistant Director as well as an Adult Educator. Mindy is skilled at guiding learners of all ages through their Jewish journeys, so that they nd their own connections. Mindy was the 2009 recipient of the Hoffman/Grinspoon-Steinhard Award for Excellence in Jewish Education.

Cantor Aronson was invested as Cantor in 1967. TSTI is Cantor's rst and only pulpit. In 1970 he received his Religious School Principal certication from Hebrew Union College. Cantor Aronson received a Master of Social Work in 1986. In 2001 he was awarded an Honorary Doctorate from Hebrew Union College.

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Beyond Bar/Bat Mizvah


Becoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah is an important milestone in Jewish life. It is, however, a beginning not an end.

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Glossary
Here are the terms youll need to know to be part of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah journey.

Terms
Aliyah (ah-lee-yah) means "going up" and refers to the honor of being called to the Bimah (pulpit) to bless the Torah. Aron HaKodesh (ah-rone'ha-koe'-desh) is the Hebrew term for the Holy Ark. We have more than one Torah in our Aron HaKodesh, therefore, it is good to know that the plural for Torah is Sifrei Torah (seef-ray). Bar is an Aramaic word meaning "son" while Bat is the Hebrew word for "daughter". The plural of Bar is Bar/Bat while the plural of Bat is B'not. When a Bar and Bat are referred to, the masculine plural is used. Mitzvah is Hebrew for "commandment". (Bar/ Bat or B'not Mitzvah is the plural). Bimah means stage or podium Bracha means blessing. The plural is berachot. Erev (eh'-rev) means "evening" - usually the evening before a holiday, e.g., Erev Shabbat is Friday evening. Haftarah (haf-ta-rah') is a Teading from the non-Torah books of the bible. There is a specic reading associated with each section of the Torah. Kiddush is the blessing over wine recited on Friday evening. A short version is also recited over wine on Shabbat afternoon.

Kiddush as in a light meal/repast following a B/Mitzvah ceremony. Kipah (Hebrew) or Yarmulke (Yiddish) is the skullcap wom during the worship service. Many liberal Jews wear a Kipah during times of Jewish study. Orthodox males wear the kipah during all waking hours. Most of the boys at Temple Sharey TeloIsrael wear a kipah at their Bar Mitzvah ceremony. Some girls wear a kipah. Minyan is the Hebrew word for "counting". Traditionally, ten males must be counted before a public worship service can be held. Reform practice does not require any specic number of people to be present in order to worship, and women, men, and children are equal in prayer. Motzi is the blessing over bread recited before eating. Sidra (plural Sidrot) is a section of the Torah reading during a particular week. The particular passages of a sidra being read are referred to as the Parashah (pah-rah-sah). Simcha is the Hebrew and Yiddish word for joy. A joyous occasion is, therefore, a Simcha which brings nachas (palpable pride) to a qvelling (deliciously delighted) family. Tallit is a fringed prayer shawl worn during morning worship services. The fringes are reminders of the 613 Mitzvot in the Torah. It is customary at Temple Sharey Telo- Israel, though not
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required, for both boys and girls to wear a Tallit at the B/ Mitzvah. Teflin are leather boxes attached to leather thongs and worn on the forehead and arm by Jewish males during weekday morning worship. The forehead teflin contains four biblical passages including the Shema. Teflin are traditionally worn for the rst time around the time of B/Mitzvah. Girls do not wear teflin traditionally, yet there is no Jewish statute that prohibits them from doing so. Torah is the scroll contained in the rst ve books of the Bible. It is divided into 54 Sidrot (see below) and read in the synagogue in the course of one Jewish year.

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Aliyah
Aliyah (ah-lee-yah) means "going up" and refers to the honor of being called to the Bimah (pulpit) to bless the Torah.

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Aramaic
The street language of our ancestors. Related to Hebrew, Aramaic was the language of commerce in ancient Israel. The Kaddish and Kol Nidre on Yom Kippur are written in Aramaic, the language more commonly understood by our ancestors.

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Chapter 2 - The Readers Kaddish

Aron HaKodesh
Aron HaKodesh (ah-rone'ha-koe'-desh) is the Hebrew term for the Holy Ark. We have more than one Torah in our Aron HaKodesh, therefore, it is good to know that the plural for Torah is Sifrei Torah (seef-ray).

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Ashkenazim
Jews from eastern Europe.

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Chapter 2 - Gvurot

Bar
Bar is an Aramaic word meaning "son" while Bat is the Hebrew word for "daughter". The plural of Bar is Bar/Bat while the plural of Bat is B'not. When a Bar and Bat are referred to, the masculine plural is used. Mitzvah is Hebrew for "commandment". (Bar/ Bat or B'not Mitzvah is the plural).

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Bimah
Bimah means stage or podium

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Bracha
Bracha means blessing. The plural is berachot.

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Deuteronomy
The fth and nal book of the Torah.

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Chapter 2 - Shma

Erev
Erev (eh'-rev) means "evening" - usually the evening before a holiday, e.g., Erev Shabbat is Friday evening.

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Exodus
The second book of the Torah.

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Chapter 2 - Emet VYatziv

Genesis
The rst book of the Torah.

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Chapter 2 - Yotzer

Haftarah
Haftarah (haf-ta-rah') is a Teading from the non-Torah books of the bible. There is a specic reading associated with each section of the Torah.

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Halakha
Jewish law.

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Chapter 2 - Morning Blessings

Kiddush
Kiddush is the blessing over wine recited on Friday evening. A short version is also recited over wine on Shabbat afternoon.

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Kiddush 2
Kiddush as in a light meal/repast following a B/Mitzvah ceremony.

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Kipah
Kipah (Hebrew) or Yarmulke (Yiddish) is the skullcap wom during the worship service. Many liberal Jews wear a Kipah during times of Jewish study. Orthodox males wear the kipah during all waking hours. Most of the boys at Temple Sharey Telo-Israel wear a kipah at their Bar Mitzvah ceremony. Some girls wear a kipah.

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Mezuzah
The Torah states and you shall bind them on the doorposts of your house. The mezuzah is the expression of fullling this command. Inside is a parchment (klaf) that, among other things, contains the Shma and the Vahavtah. The mezuzah is traditionally placed on every door except those leading to the kitchen or bathroom with its top angled toward the inside of the room. The reason for this is, according to tradition, because two rabbis could not agree whether the mezuzah should be vertical or horizontal. As a result of compromise they angled it in to the interior of the space.

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Chapter 2 - Vahavta

Minyan
Minyan is the Hebrew word for "counting". Traditionally, ten males must be counted before a public worship service can be held. Reform practice does not require any specic number of people to be present in order to worship, and women, men, and children are equal in prayer.

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Motzi
Motzi is the blessing over bread recited before eating.

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Numbers
The third book of the Torah.

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Chapter 2 - Shma

Oseh Shalom
The one who makes peace... This line, often sung, expresses our hope for peace and our belief that God is the inspiration for us to work toward and achieve peace.

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Chapter 2 - Birkat Shalom

Reform movement
A progressive religious movement that began in Germany in the 1800s and came to America a short time later. Originally rooted in the concept of informed choice, in rerecent years Reform has become more open to many of the ritual traditions initially rejected when the movement rst took root in America. TSTI is a Reform congregation and, as such, is a member of the URJ- the Union for Reform Judaism. We still stress informed choice as a core value.

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Chapter 2 - Avot vImahot

Shabbat
The seventh day of the week and a day of rest. This day mimics God who, according to the Torah, completed the creation process on the sixth day and rested on the seventh. More ritually strict approaches to Judaism focus largely on what may not be done on Shabbat. Reform Judaism stresses Shabbat as a dat of rest, study and family togetherness.

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Chapter 2 - Amidah

Sidra
Sidra (plural Sidrot) is a section of the Torah reading during a particular week. The particular passages of a sidra being read are referred to as the Parashah (pah-rah-sah).

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Simcha
Simcha is the Hebrew and Yiddish word for joy. A joyous occasion is, therefore, a Simcha which brings nachas (palpable pride) to a qvelling (deliciously delighted) family.

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Tallit
Tallit is a fringed prayer shawl worn during morning worship services. The fringes are reminders of the 613 Mitzvot in the Torah. It is customary at Temple Sharey Telo- Israel, though not required, for both boys and girls to wear a Tallit at the B/Mitzvah.

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Tellin
Teflin are leather boxes attached to leather thongs and worn on the forehead and arm by Jewish males during weekday morning worship. The forehead teflin contains four biblical passages including the Shema. Teflin are traditionally worn for the rst time around the time of B/Mitzvah. Girls do not wear teflin traditionally, yet there is no Jewish statute that prohibits them from doing so.

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Torah
Torah is the scroll contained in the rst ve books of the Bible. It is divided into 54 Sidrot (see below) and read in the synagogue in the course of one Jewish year.

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