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ONE COLD NIGHT I loved the sea. I had spent much of my life at sea. I loved her mood swings and the vastness of it. When I was a teenager, I got a job working on a fishing boat and after two weeks I knew I had found my lifes calling. The day I stepped onto a schooner, however, I never wanted to step foot on a fishing boat again. As a deck hand on schooners, I fell in love with the large size of the boats. Unlike the fishing boats which could get tossed and thrown around by storms, schooners felt like they owned the sea. They were sturdy, majestic and I felt safe on them. But that perception changed for me one early morning on the Caribbean Sea. I never found out how it happened, but the schooner I was on went off course and struck a reef. At first I thought we had run aground but then I heard a sound I never forgot. It was like the sound of a whale singing only much deeper. It was the wood being bent as the reef dug into it and unlogged it from its seams. That sound was followed by the snap and crackle of the wood breaking and splintering. The schooner jerked forward, knocking us off our feet. As it settled to a stop, the wood cried out in like it was in pain and there was a loud snap like a tree falling after its been cut for lumber. The sea roared as it poured into the gaping hole. The schooner began to lean to the side. The deck was chaotic. Men were running to the sides of the boat and jumping off into the sea. Several deck hands managed to get a couple of life boats into the water, but the rest of the cutters were thrown off and landed upside down in the water. Within a matter of minutes, the schooner was going under. We barely got off in time. Luckily we didnt lose anyone, but many of the crew was injured. It was the first maritime sinking I was ever involved in and it shook me up pretty bad. As I watched the masts disappear in the early morning light, I vowed never to set foot on anything made of wood again.

I took a year off and took a job on land, working around the docks in New York City. But the sea kept calling me back. I wanted to get back to working on boats, but the idea of getting on a wooden vessel still haunted me. That all changed when I met Starkey Wilcox. Starkey was an old sea salt and by old I meant he had more years on the sea than me. I first met him in a bar down the street from Pier 62 on the west side of Manhattan. He had a knack of getting a job on any ship that came in. So sometimes he worked locally, other times he would be gone for weeks. But whenever he was in town we traded stories of our lives at sea. One day I told him about the schooner I was on that sank, he started telling me about these huge ships of iron and steel being produced in London. You should see them in the dry docks, I tell ya, he said. The finest passenger ships you will ever see. I would love to work aboard one of them one day, I said. Youd need to get some experience working on one before you can. They look for men with experience on those steam ships, he replied. Yeah, well, there arent any around here looking for a guy with my experience, I said. And I dont know anyone well enough to vouch for me. Starkey smiled. Well it just so happens I am currently stationed on a transatlantic passenger steamer and were a man short. What say I speak with the captain about putting you on for a few months? Things work out, great. If not, you can always start over in Europe. I was elated and thanked him. I continued to work, however, until Starkey told me otherwise. Two days later, Starkey came to me and told me everything was good to go. I was to report to Pier 61 where the transatlantic passenger steamer as docked.

When I arrived I was surprised to see that she was a rather large vessel. I wasnt expecting it to be from the way Starkey talked about the ships he had been on. But then again it was a transatlantic passenger vessel so to carry passengers it had to be of considerable size. She had four masts and a single funnel in the middle. She was about 541 feet long and very sturdy looking. She traveled between New York and the Mediterranean during the summers and winters which I thought was exciting. I had never been to Europe or that side of the world before. I was looking forward to it. Starkey took me around and introduced me to the crew above and below deck. Then he took me to meet the captain, A.H. Rostron. The captain seemed to be a good man; he shook my hand firmly and welcomed me aboard his ship the RMS Carpathia. We werent set to leave port for a couple of days so that gave me time to get acquainted with my duties I loved every minute of it. I got along with everyone, including the captain who loved to trade stories with me when time allowed. I knew deep down inside that I would be with the crew for a long time. There was a lot to learn, some great people and an adventure waiting for me somewhere out there on the sea. On Saturday morning, April 13th, the captain called us all together and told us the route of the ship. We were to travel from New York to Fiume and finally Austria, Hungary. He was expecting a smooth journey and good weather. If anyone on deck had a bad feeling about out trip, no one said a word. For me, I didnt know it at the time, but the Carpathia would be the last ship I would ever set foot on. It was early Sunday morning, April 14th, when the incident that drove me from the sea took place. I was fast asleep in my cabin after a long shift when Stanley, my cabin mate came in and

shook me awake. I was in a deep sleep and not sure how long he had been shaking me. But when I finally opened my eyes I saw him with a canteen of water ready to pour it on me. For the love of St. Peter, Stanley, what is it? Get up! Captain wants us all on deck! What time is it? I asked. My watch was on the desk in the corner, too far for me to get to it. It cant be morning already. Its almost two in the morning. Now get dressed, captain wants all hands on deck! Stanley fled from the room while I slowly sat up and scratched my beard. I really wanted to say damn it to hell and go back to sleep. Let the captain punish me later for disobeying an order. What could possibly need my attention so early in the morning? My sense of duty prevented me from going back to sleep. So I slid out of bed, put my boots on and pulled up my suspenders on my shoulders. Starkey appeared at my door and stared at me. Captain wants to see you, he said. I know. He wants us all on deck. No, he wants to see you privately. Hes in his cabin. And by the way, youll want to bundle up. Its really cold up top, he said. How cold is really cold? Theres ice in the water, he replied. Ice? Where in the blazes are we? North Atlantic, he said. What? Wait, I thought we were supposed to be going east, I said. Whats going on?

Starkey said nothing else to me as the distress bell on deck resounded. I knew then it was serious. I pulled on a turtle neck sweater, a scarf, then my pea coat. I buttoned it up to the neck then put my wool cap on. Then I followed Starkey to the captains quarters. Captain Rostron was sitting at his desk reading a piece of paper that had been given to him by Harold Cottam, our wireless operator. Jake Jameson, another deck hand, was standing against the wall. Jake, Rostron said. Tell them upstairs to keep on maximum speed but to be very careful going through these waters. Get whats left of the coffee and tea to the lookouts. The ships heating and hot water are off am I correct? We need as much steam as possible. Yes sir! Heat and hot water are off. Kitchen staff is using the stoves to heat water for the drinks. I will get right on the other matters, Jake said before he turned and ran to the bridge. Mister Cottam, resend a reply that we are in route at maximum speed. Rostron looked at his watch. With any luck we should be there within the next couple of hours. Yes sir. Right away, sir. Harold ran off for the wireless room. Come in and shut the door behind you. I stepped into the cabin and shut the door. You used to work on fishing boats out of Massachusetts. Said you have worked in these cold waters of the north Atlantic? Rostron asked. Yes sir, I said. For several years, sir. But that was when I was a teenager. My concern isnt for when you did it, but that you know how bad these waters can get temperature wise. Have you ever experienced, first hand, hypothermia? It was a curious question.

Hypothermia, sir? Yes, have you experienced it first hand? Seen what it can do? Ive known a sailor or two who have. That is, they have died from it. Its a horrible thing to see. Never experienced it yourself? Not to the point of near death, sir. But even the air around these waters can make you feel like youre about to freeze. Rostron lean back in his chair and scratched his chin. He looked worried. If someone were to fall into these waters, how long do you think they would be able to last before hypothermia set in? In these waters, captain? It wouldnt take long. Minutes, I said. Sir, you have never experienced hypothermia? Im aware of what it can do but I have never seen it set in on a man. Rostron looked at me. I need you to coordinate a group of men and gather every single blanket you can find and take them up onto the forward deck. Also, gather some coats and hats, as many as you can find. Well need those as well. I want you to also help set up first aid stations. Yes sir, I said. And I need this done ASAP, he said. Right away, sir, I said. Captain, may I ask what this is about, sir? Right now I need you focused on the task at hand. Ill meet you on deck and tell you everything once you have gathered the materials, he said. Now go. We havent a moment to waste. Im making you point man on this. Take no guff from the crew.

I nodded, ran from the cabin and up to the deck where many of the men had gathered. There were standing around looking confused. I walked up to them and raised my hand. By order of captain Rostron, I need as many able bodied hands to assist me. Collect blankets and coats, as many as you can find and bring them back here, I yelled. I need to set up a first aid station over there. I pointed to a spot across from where the blankets would go. Bring bandages and other supplies. Some of the men started moving to my orders. The others stood waiting for something, but I didnt know what. We were told the captain wanted to see us, Warren, a purser said as he pointed to the remaining men. Yes I did, Rostron said as he stepped out onto the deck. I need you to ready some cabins. Im not sure how many, but ready as many empty ones as you have to receive survivors. If you have to pair some passengers together then do so. But I need as many cabins cleared. Go, now! Yes captain! Warren said. The captain looked at me and nodded. I ran after the men that were to aid me and we began gathering up blankets, hats, coats and even sheets, just in case. We still didnt know what we were facing. When the last of the men returned to the deck with me, we placed everything into four neat piles. I had been running around so much I hadnt felt the cold. That changed in a matter of minutes.

There was no wind blowing, but the air was very frigid. It was so cold that it almost hurt to breathe. I started to stomp my feet as I felt the cold reach into my boots and through my pants like hands with sharp fingernails. Suddenly I heard something hard hit the side of the ship. I flinched and looked out over the railing. I could see large floating patches of ice gliding along the top of a black sea. There was no moonlight so anything I could see was thanks to the lights from the ship. The ice knocked into the hull and made a scratching sound as we brushed against it. Were good, mate, Starkey whispered to me. Ice is just bumping off us, thats all. I nodded but kept my eye on the ice as we moved slowly through it.

At around three a signal rocket was launched into the night sky. The tail of the rocket was so bright it illuminated our ship and the sea around us. Lookouts that now had a better look at the ice around us, shouted for the ship to be careful and to make specific allowances so we could get through. The ice was thicker now and instead of bumping, it was scratching. From in my cabin I could hear the hull groan as ice passed under us. I was reminded of the coral reefs that took that schooner I was on to its watery grave and I closed my eyes and prayed. When I was done I looked out the porthole and saw the blanket of ice. I quickly left the room and went back on top. Rostron was stepping out of the bridge just as I started up the stairs to the deck. A second rocket went up. Captain?

Stand by, he said as he raised a pair of binoculars to his eyes and looked out into the pitch black night. Dear God, he whispered. He dropped the binoculars and yelled out, Anything? No captain! a deckhand yelled. Rostron looked at me. I fear the worst has happened, he said. Captain? No one would survive in this cold, he said softly. Only seconds in this water. I saw Rostron look out at the night again, so I looked where he was looking. Where are we going? We got a distress call from a ship out here. Apparently she struck an iceberg and was sinking, he said. What? I turned to him in shock. Hit an iceberg? How? Not sure how, but she did and they wired us for help over an hour and a half ago, the captain said. I dont see any sign of her. He lights should be on. Flares should be going up. But I dont see anything. Well what kind of ship was she? Luxury liner. They have life boats then. They should be able to Have you ever seen a ship sink? he asked me. Yes. I was on one that sank, I replied. Rostron turned his head immediately and looked at me. So you know how fast one can go down?

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But this was a luxury liner, I said in an effort to put the image of people floating in the icy Atlantic out of my head. They build them to keep them from sinking. In fact, Starkey and I were talking about one so grand that she is said to be unsinkable. I have heard of this ship too, Rostron said. RMS Titanic. Yes. I havent seen her myself. But I hear she is gorgeous. In fact she was due into New York in a couple of days, I said. I wish were there to see her when she comes in. I wish I could see her now, Rostron said lowly. Why now? Because, if could see her now, it would mean that the unthinkable didnt happen, he replied. What? I looked at him. Captain, you dont mean that the ship that hit the iceberg is the Titanic? Rostron didnt say anything. He put the binoculars up again and looked out onto the sea again. The world around us was quiet. The sea lapped against the ship while the ice continued to scrape. Then, somewhere in the dark we heard it. It was a whimper coming from the sea followed by a splash from something falling into the water. Suddenly a flare went up out of the darkness and flew over the bow of the ship. LIFEBOAT! Lifeboat off the starboard bow! Rostron turned and pointed his binoculars to the starboard bow. I see her. All hands prepare to receive survivors!

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The men on deck began to scurry. One man went below to get the rest of the crew while I ran as fast as I could to get some blankets. As the other crewmen came from below, they grabbed blankets as well, then we joined the rest of the crew at the side of the ship. From the lifeboat we heard wailing and screaming. The pilot was telling everyone to stay calm, but it wasnt working. Someone in the boat stood up. I have to get off! I must get off! Sit down! the pilot screamed. Where are the other survivors? someone yelled. Thank God, were saved! The wooden boat teetered in the water upon its approach. I was afraid it would tip over, but the pilot kept control of it. Using a single ore, he guided the boat alongside us. It struck the side of the Carpathia with a loud thud and the women screamed. Its okay, the pilot said. I looked down and saw the faces of terrified women and children. They were shaking from the bitter cold and clutching their life preservers. One woman at the far end was crying. The woman next to her was trying to calm her down. A little girl holding a doll stared at me. I smiled and waved to her. She retreated into the arms of the woman closest to her, but she kept her eyes on me. The pilot of the lifeboat threw the mooring line up to Starkey and he quickly tied them to our vessel. Stanley then unrolled a rope ladder and hung it off the side. Okay, lets have the children first. Ladies you follow, the pilot said.

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The children were scattered among the women. At first the women wouldnt let them go. They clutched the children tightly. But after some coaxing by Starkey and the pilot, they slowly let them make their way to the front. Starkey got to one knee and put his hand down. The child, a little boy, didnt hesitate to reach up and take Starkeys hand. Up ya go little man, Starkey said. When the boy was on the deck, he threw his arms around Starkey and hugged him. Its okay. Youre safe now. Starkey tried to undo the boys arms from around his neck, but the boy wouldnt let go. Realizing he wasnt going to get the boy from around him, Starkey stood up and carried him to a first aid station where there was crew members waiting to help. Another deck hand stepped up and helped bring the rest of the children aboard. When the little girl with the doll was brought on, she immediately ran to me and threw her arms around my legs and started to cry. I patted her face. Her cheeks were like ice. There, there, its okay, I said. I was passed a blanket and threw it around her. Lets get you warm. I knelt down and wrapped the blanket around her tight and used the end of it to wipe the tears away. Ladies, youre next, the pilot called out. I could hear the women begin to climb up. As they stepped on the deck, they cried out to God and embraced the men before being led to the first aid station. The last woman, the one being consoled, refused to move. When the pilot tried to help her, she began screaming hysterically. Im going to fall in! Im going to die! Maam, youre safe, the pilot said. Please.

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Im not getting on that ship! Its not safe, she looked around. Look at all the ice. It will rip that ship apart. Rostron leaned over and looked down at the woman. He whispered something to one of the deck hands then he climbed down into the lifeboat. He took a seat next to the woman and whispered something to her. The woman looked at him and began to cry uncontrollably. He placed his hand on hers and instructed the pilot to leave them. The pilot boarded the ship and headed to the first aid station. I lifted the little girl and carried her to the others. The kitchen staff was waiting for everyone with hot beverages. Though the smell from the hot drinks was soothing, emotions were still running high. Rostron soon joined us with the woman from the lifeboat. She was shaking, but she had calm down some. The moment he introduced himself to the survivors, wails and screams filled the night as the women begged him to find their husbands. Children began to cry too and, suddenly Rostron looked overwhelmed. He instructed the crew to help in calming them down as he left to go to the bridge. One of the women walked over to me and took the little girl from me. I felt her hand as she took the girl, her skin was like ice. When I looked at her, her lips were turning blue. She looked at me and tried to muster a smile. God bless you, sir. God bless, she whispered. I wrapped an extra blanket around her and I gently pinched the little girls cheek. Starkey walked over with a smile. Ladies, we have a cabin inside for you. Get the little one warm, fast, I said.

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I felt the Carpathia start to move slowly north east. Rostron came back out on deck and began to usher the people off the deck into the cabin areas. He did his best to reassure everyone things would be fine. The pilot didnt get the chance to address the survivors before they were gone. When the last had disappeared below, he fell to his knees and began to weep. His blanket fell from around his shoulders, so I covered him and tried my best to comfort him. I am sorry sir, I know I should be stronger than this, he said to me. Its okay, I replied. You just survived a wreck and you got those people to safety, I said. Are there more of you? Yes, there are others coming behind us. It was horrible, so horrible. I can still hear the screams. She didnt last two hours before the sea took her. The passengers. Many of them were jumping into the water. I know they didnt survive, he said. You did your best, I said. He nodded at me and I helped him to his feet. He covered himself and headed inside as the call came that another lifeboat was spotted. He stopped and looked back at me. What ship is this? The RMS Carpathia, I said. The Carpathia, he said surprised. By the grace of God, you did make it. You didnt abandon us. I wouldnt think we would. I wasnt sure why he thought we had abandoned them. As soon as we have you all on, we can pick up the other lifeboats and get to the ship and get the rest. I dont think you understood me. The passengers were jumping because she was going down. By the time we were far enough away, the sea claimed her.

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Horror consumed me. You dont mean that the ENTIRE ship is gone into the sea. There were passengers still on her when she went beneath the surface. The only solace one can take is that those who fell into the water died quickly, he said. That they did not suffer long. Dear God, I whispered. How did this happen? She was supposed to be unsinkable. But the iceberg proved to be the stronger of the two, he said. The blood left my face and I went pale. Unsinkable. So it was Yes. The RMS Titanic, he said. The grandest ship in the world is no more. A flare went up into the air, but it wasnt from us. We looked out into the night where it came from and saw another lifeboat coming toward us. Wails and cries filled the air as we saw two more lifeboats behind it. Suddenly, the air felt much colder.

Copyright 2012 Marc L Abbott