where she was, if we could get some feeling. I think we found the spot.

The water is very turbulent there. WHEN I FOUND OUT, SAYS BERKUN, it was as bad as it gets. I laid on the floor, screamed and pounded on it. She was more like my sister than a friend. This loss has been so consuming. In some ways its hard to remember what it was like before she died. Other friends have expressed similar sentiments. I would have chained her here on Earth rather than to have had her ripped away, says Lemay. I feel as if I have lost a limb or a part of my heart, and I am forever changed. The Capital Region was shocked. Nadia Trinkalas Facebook page was flooded with posts. Every major local media outlet covered her death. Memorials were set up in her name. Friends, reeling from the news, organized a celebration of life ceremony at the end of that month. It was held at the Cohoes Music Hall, and by many accounts, the venue, which seats about 350 people, was filled. People spilled into the street, which the mayor of Cohoes had closed down to vehicular traffic. The whole celebration was magical, says Dianne Trinkala. My friend said there wasnt a dry eye in the place, and I thought, Thank God I didnt turn around. I wouldnt have been able to make it through. Those close to Nadia continue to hold events in her honor. In May, a silent auction was held at the Fulton Street Gallery in Troy, the proceeds of which benefited the MindUP Program. The people Nadia Trinkala had brought together over the years were still doing her work, even though she was no longer with them. Its been more than a year since some hikers stumbled upon the lifeless body of a woman that many now call Our eternal butterfly. The grieving process has not been easy, but slowly the pain is growing more bearable. We have accepted thats what she wanted to do, her mother says. We say, Darn you, Nadia! We dont care if you were struggling, you should be here! But we understand that the struggle had gotten so hard that she probably couldnt stay. She didnt have the strength to pull it together. The amount of work she did before she leftit was a lifetime of work, says Berkun. She was brilliant in her own way. She was an idea machine. A few weeks before she died, I called her and told her, You are going to fly like a birdsoar when this is all over. I was overcome with this feeling like she was going to finally be done with all of the struggles she had. I told her, You are going to break free, you are going to be free. I had no idea what it meant at the time.

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her the medication. When he got there, she, and her car, were gone. Because of the way that she was that morning, says Dianne, I called around and asked everyone, Have you heard from Nadia? No one had. We never heard from her again. At 5 PM the family was able to put out an all-points police bulletin on their daughter. Her father drove to Peebles Island, as did some of her other friends, but they went to the Cohoes side of the park, where she usually parked. The police eventually found her vehicle on the streets of Waterford, leading her loved ones to believe that she didnt want to be found. Her phone was left in the car, which also seemed to confirm their suspicions. It was Friday when Dianne Trinkala heard someone at her door. As she climbed the stairs toward the entrance she could see through the window that someone was standing there. As soon as I saw the gray uniform I knew right away, she says. I said, Its Nadia, right? I thought it was the state police, but it was the park authorities. They had her keys and her pocketbook and they said, Were not positive its her. I said, You have her keys, you have her pocketbook, you found her car, and youre not positive? I really expected it at that point. It is clearly painful for Dianne Trinkala to recount these moments. She is quick to flash her smile, similar to her daughters, but her eyes hold a sorrow that belie her positive and warm demeanor. She and her husband joined a support group specifically for parents who were grieving the loss of a child. They went to it for a while, but it didnt seem to help. They walked the trails of Peebles Island in an attempt to get some closure. The man who did her autopsy said she went by the water, Dianne says. We walked it to see if we could figure it out

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METROLAND JUNE 21-27 2012