The Maternity Maze

A One Act Play

Written by Patricia Hackett

November, 2000

This play is dedicated to my daughter Robin, who was conceived after two operations, four IUIs and two IVFs; and also to Heather Bruce Thiermann, my cyber-friend and cycle-buddy, who lost her life giving birth to her miracle daughter Tara, in January 1996. Heather, I know that you are in heaven, serving as a guardian angel and watching over all of our lost babies.

The Maternity Maze

A One Act Play, in Eight Scenes Scene Scene Scene Scene Scene Scene Scene Scene 1: 2: 3: 4: 5: 6: 7: 8: In In In In In In In In Cyber-Space Cyber-Space Cyber-Space Cyber-Space Cyber-Space Cyber-Space Cyber-Space a Park in DC Present Day Week 1 One Week Later Week 2 One Week Later Week 3 One Week Later Week 4 Thirteen Weeks Later Week 17 One Week Later Week 18 One Week Later Week 19 Fifty-three Weeks Later Week 72

Authors Note to the Director: This play has little direction in it. In addition, there is no set design dictated. Therefore it is up to the director to develop the individual actions of each character and to determine how the stage should be set. Because the characters are not actually talking to each other throughout most of the play, their action should reflect that. I.e., they would not look each other in the eye and no physical contact should take place (until the last scene). Even though the characters are typing their words, I did not envision that the women would be physically typing throughout the play. They should do so at the beginning of the play, so that the audience understands the mode of communication, but beyond that, it is not relevant except when a character is making a point that can be expressed better with typing included as an action. Cast: Norrie-Mid 40's, has been undergoing treatments for 8 years. Norrie is the mother of the group, figuratively and literally. She is the only one who has a child. Because of this and because she is the oldest, she tends to be more nurturing and maternal that the others. 11/20/12
2

Anne- Late 30's, has been undergoing treatments for 5 years. Anne is a very easy-going person, accepting almost anything life hands her, except her lack of fertility. Chris- Mid to Late 30's, has been undergoing treatments for 1 year. She tends to be quick acting, emotional and temperamental. Eileen- Early to Mid 30's, has been undergoing treatments for 3 years. Her way of coping is to crack a joke, and to make fun of herself. She is a strong person who has learned to live with the problem by using humor and always looking on the bright side. Miriam - Early to Mid 30's, has been undergoing treatments for 5 years. Miriam tends to have extreme mood swings, depending on how her treatments and her life are progressing. Kathy - Mid to Late 20's, has just started treatments. Kathy is the youngest and very naive. She is sweet and somewhat shy in nature.

11/20/12

Scene 1 Week One Stage is black. Lights come up to blues with background music. The 6 women come out on stage, one at a time and take their places. The women all sit or stand near their own chair/space. A narrators voice (female) states the following (The director has the option of not using a narrator and including this as printed notes in the program): Infertility is the inability to conceive a child after one year of unprotected sexual intercourse. Couples unable to sustain a pregnancy through to a live birth are also considered infertile. Infertility strikes 1 in every 6 couples in America, and its causes are countless. Although infertility is a couples diagnosis, it is often the women who feel most of the pain and burden of this condition. These women find support in many forms. In the last decade, many women are using the internet in order to find the support they need. (The first few sentences of this monologue will be prerecorded using Eileens voice and played through the sound system. Without interruption, Eileen will continue with the rest of the monologue giving a transition from thoughts to words. In addition, she will pretend to type through the first couple of sentences, to show that she is sitting at a computer). Eileen Hey gals, whats everyone up to? I've got a good one to share with you tonight. Bill will kill me if he knew I was telling you this, but what the hell it is too funny not to share. So get this - two days ago, Bill went to the clinic to deposit a sperm sample. It's been six months since his operation and this was the test to see if it was successful. We just got back the results and his sperm count went down instead of up! My first thought was to sue the urologist, but then Bill tells me what happened. When he got to the clinic he took his sample jar and proceeded to do his thing. When he was done, he looked at his sample and decided that there wasnt enough in there. So he whips it out again, and proceeds to leave an extra wallop on top! Can you believe it? Where is this mans brain? I asked him, did you ever stop 11/20/12
4

to think that your second sample was nothing but semen with no sperm? All you did was dilute the first sample in half!" So he has to go back in again tomorrow and leave a new sample. What do you guys think? Should I go and supervise? Anne Eileen, youre a riot, or I should say, Bill is! Well, Im starting my FINAL IVF cycle tomorrow. OK, OK, I know I said that the last cycle, but Kevin and I are serious this time. I twisted my doctors arm and now he is increasing my meds since I only got three eggs last time. I'm hoping for six or more this time. Wish me luck. Miriam (depressed and angry) Here goes another cycle down the drain for me...The nurse called today and I am definitely NOT pregnant. After I finished crying, I had to call Tom, then my mother, then Toms mother and then my sister. Next time, I'm not telling anyone but you guys when I am doing a treatment. Now I have to wait for my period to start. Do you ever notice this is the only time we wish for our periods? This sucks. I dont want to leave the house, get dressed, or see anyone. Norrie Oh, Miriam, hugs to you girl. Weve all been there before, and most likely well be there again. Enjoy some wine, it is one of the vices that you will have to give up WHEN you DO get pregnant. As the elder of the group, believe me when I say it doesnt get easier, it only gets harder. Actually, the hardest part is after you get pregnant and six weeks later, the bleeding starts and doesnt stop. That, my dear, is worth a whole bottle of wine! After going through four miscarriages, I have learned the hard way. When I was pregnant with Sara, I waited 4 months before I told anyone. I didn't believe it myself until she was born and declared healthy. Chris Help guys!!! Im scared. Im supposed to go in tomorrow morning for my artificial insemination and I think I just ovulated. Im so mad! Barry and I went to the clinic this morning, and our doctor said it was too soon. But at dinner tonight I felt that ache in my side, so I know I just ovulated! Have we just wasted this cycle? Norrie Chris, your timing is perfect. Inseminations need to be done within 24 11/20/12
5

hours of when you ovulate. Kathy Wow . . . Ive been reading a bunch of past messages you all wrote, and Im so glad I found you. Im new to infertility and I didnt know where to turn. My name is Kathy. My husband and I have been trying to have kids for 3 years. Our doctor kept telling me I am young, so keep trying. Last month, I found out that I have blocked tubes. At least I know what the problem is, but I dont know what to do. Can anyone help? Anne Kathy, welcome to the Maze! Its a club nobody wants to join, and everyone wants desperately to leave. I'm Anne, and Ive been in treatment for 5 years. I have been through those same tests, and the doctors cant find anything wrong with my husband or me. The hardest part of unexplained infertility is that I have hope every month. Even if I'm not doing a treatment, I think that maybe regular old-fashioned sex will do it. But, so far no luck for me. So we keep trying. Miriam Hi Kathy, Im Miriam. I have a complicated diagnosis. My doctor suspects an incompatibility between my husbands sperm and my eggs, though we don't know why. Ive been married for 8 years and except for the first couple of months, I've been trying to get pregnant the entire time! Welcome to the Maze! Kathy Why is this forum called the Maze? Eileen Hi Kathy, Im Eileen. Im married to Bill who is, or hopefully was, practically sterile. We call it the Maze because every treatment path we take looks sort of like the last one. You turn a corner, and you think you are at the end, but instead you run into a wall youve never hit before. Sometimes, you take the same path over and over again, thinking youll have a new result, but you always seem to get that wall. Some say, if you keep at it, you will eventually find your way out. Norrie Kathy, let me give you a quick overview of a couple of common 11/20/12
6

procedures you have probably heard about. Artificial insemination is where a washed and concentrated sperm sample gets inserted into your uterus using a catheter around the time of ovulation. Hopefully, the sperm swim into your tubes, find and fertilize a waiting egg. IVF, or "In Vitro Fertilization", is the official name for test tube babies, although I dont know why they call it that, since conception takes place in a petri dish. Using a special syringe, the doctor removes eggs from your ovaries after you take hormone injections for a couple of weeks. They put your eggs with your husbands sperm sample in the petri dish. If the sperm fertilize any of the eggs, they insert them into your uterus, where hopefully they will stick and grow. By the way, my name is Norrie. I have a daughter, 5 years old, who was conceived by IVF. Kathy Thanks for all the lessons. This seems so confusing. How do you all manage to learn everything and stay sane in the process? Eileen Who said anything about being sane? Trust me, you need to be a little crazy in order to survive. Sometimes you scream, but most of the time you just cry. And you end up playing the same game. Try, then wait, then cryTry then wait, then cry. I have found that if you laugh instead of cry, it helps keep you sane. Chris This maze also keeps you broke! Hi Kathy, my name is Chris. My husband and I had to take out a second mortgage on our home because of all the money we are spending. Kathy So what do you all tell people when they ask, When are you going to start a family? Im so sick of hearing that, because I think it will never happen. Norrie I know what you mean. I hate it when everyone I know tells me to "just relax". Most people who say this are well meaning but they are not informed about infertility. Sometimes the just relax comments sound like blame - in other words, if you werent so neurotic and uptight, you would be pregnant already! 11/20/12
7

Anne Ive always thought of myself as a rational person, but now I am so superstitious. For instance, I think that the reason I havent conceived is because I already picked out baby names. And my sister-in-law told me she is saving all her baby furniture and equipment for when I get pregnant. Miriam I have watched two friends go through 5 pregnancies in the last 8 years. I went to all their baby showers and put on a happy face. But what really hurts is when you see kids in public being abused by their parents. You read about teenagers that put their newborns in trash cans and abandon them. Why someone like that can conceive and I can't, is beyond me. It makes me so angry that I just want to scream! Chris Parenting is the most important job in the world, but all you need to qualify is a working uterus and youve got the job! No one checks on your qualifications or gives you a performance rating once a year. If God ever blesses me with a child, my thank you will be in the way that I raise him. Eileen Ive got a girl friend that just looks at her husband and she gets pregnant. Shes got 6 kids, and is on two types of birth control! But, here is some good news, girls! Ive got all the answers for when you get those stupid questions. Here goes: Question #1: Answer: When are you two going to start a family? But my husband and I are a family!

Question #2: How long have you been trying? Answer: Well, weve been practicing ever since we first saw each other naked! Question #3: Answer: Are you pregnant? I was going to ask you the same question! At least they wont make the mistake of asking

Try those answers. you that again! 11/20/12

Chris: I hate it when friends say are you sure you are doing it right? I mean how stupid do they think we are? Norrie Or, I get the comment Oh you are so lucky to have only one child. My two kids are driving me crazy"! Miriam Heres a good one: Have you tried adoption? Lots of people get pregnant right after they adopt babies. As if adoption is no more complicated or expensive than going to the pound and picking up a stray kitten. Chris Kathy, this will be a very emotional time in your life. You will find the most special thing about this group is how brave each of us are, and despite what we are going through, we can still find a sense of humor and be there for each other. What has been so scary for me is that I have discovered parts of myself that I dont like. Its made me bitter; more cynical, more pessimistic. My beliefs about fairness, and my ability to control and shape my life have been challenged. It has made everything seem so precarious, and it is hard for me to believe that things will turn out ok. I am so angry that infertility has taken something away from me, a part of me that can never be restored. It is so nice to know this is a place were I can be vulnerable. Here I can laugh about things that make me cry and cry about things that make me scream. This place has made me aware that nothing should be taken for granted and that I now have a bigger family because of it. I treasure this place. (End of Scene 1)

11/20/12

Scene 2 Week Two Eileen: Yippieeeeee! The results are in. Bill is my macho man again! Weve got swimmers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I have to keep him out of the hot tub, keep lying when I tell him how cute he looks in those boxer shorts, get him to give up bike riding, and I think we might be able to get pregnant! Why is this so complicated? Eileen, great news! Now what are you going to do? We will start artificial inseminations. Damn, now that Bill is a pro at giving specimens, we might as well. It kills me, 3 years ago, when we started timing sex, Bill couldnt handle performing on demand. I would have to lie about when I was ovulating, and sort of trick him into it at just the right time. Now, after all this testing, he can drop his pants anywhere, whip it out and deliver! I worry about getting my husband involved. He has already told me that he doesnt want to deal with the medical stuff. If you are going to do IVFs, he will have to get tested, and he will have to produce samples. And, he will have to learn how to give you shots. Not necessarily. During all of my IVF attempts, I gave myself all of my meds. Norrie, how did you give yourself a shot in the butt? You cant give Fertinex in the leg, the needle is too long. I managed. Since, I could only shoot with my right hand; it meant that all of my shots went into that hip. After two weeks of injecting Fertinex, followed by 2 weeks of Progesterone, I had a very black and blue hip. Why couldnt Gary give them to you? Hell, he is such a baby when it comes to needles. I tell you, if men had to give birth and go through all of this, the planet
10

Norrie: Eileen:

Kathy: Miriam:

Norrie: Anne: Norrie:

Chris: Norrie: 11/20/12

would surely die out. Eileen: Im afraid that Bill is going to like it a bit too much. (Imitating her husband) Come here Eileen, daddy's waiting for you with your medicine! I have an appointment with the specialist in 10 days. Should I take Steve along? I would definitely take him. Oh, Kathy, one more thing, before your appointment, make sure you go out and buy a pair of boxer shorts with big red hearts on them. Why, will they be doing an exam on Steve as well? No, the boxers are for you to wear. Oh no, here she goes again. Eileen, you are a crazy superstitious fool. What are you guys talking about? Eileen has this theory that the reason we are not getting pregnant is Whoa, dont blow it, let me see if my batting average is still 100%. Kathy, think about the last time you had a pelvic exam. Describe what you did after the nurse put you in the exam room, but before the doctor came in. I got undressed, put the gown on and sat on the table. What did you do with your underwear? (not wanting to admit it) Um, I typically fold them up and stick them in the pocket of my pants. And why do you hide them? Well, I dont want the doctor to see my underwear!
11

Kathy: Chris: Eileen:

Kathy: Eileen: Anne: Norrie: Kathy: Miriam: Eileen:

Kathy: Eileen: Kathy: Eileen: Kathy: 11/20/12

Eileen:

Bingo! See, I told you guys! I am still 100%.

Everyone: What luckshe did it againonly Eileen. Kathy: Eileen: But wait, I still dont understand where the heart covered boxer shorts come in. Think about it Kathy, you are about to spread you legs and allow a stranger to look at a part of your body only a few people have ever seen. Yet you dont want the doctor to see your underwear??? Doesnt this sound foolish? (laughing) Yeah, I guess it does seem a little silly. But, so far, my scientific survey has shown that 100% of all infertile women hide their underwear while only 50% of mothers do. But simply leaving your underwear out in the open may not be enough to counterbalance all the physical problems we have. So my theory is that we get boxer shorts with red hearts on them and leave them out, ON TOP of our clothes, and be proud. If you can get your doctor to notice them and make a comment, more power to you. Norrie, I have to ask you something. When you got pregnant with Sara, did you know, or suspect you were pregnant before you took a pregnancy test? Sure, I had signs. Plus, each time I miscarried, I knew I was pregnant before a test confirmed it. How did you know? This sounds funny, but I always know Im pregnant about one week after conception. My fingernails grow faster really get strong. My sister always said that she would get sick at the smell of coffee. My friend said her husband always knew first because he thought her breasts seemed bigger.
12

Kathy: Eileen:

Chris:

Norrie: Chris: Norrie:

Anne: Kathy:

11/20/12

Chris: Norrie: Chris:

Did you feel anything, you know, in the uterus area? No, I cant say I did, or if I did I dont remember. Why? Well, I definitely feel something this time. Its only been 8 days since the insemination, but I feel different. This morning, I couldnt stand the thought of breakfast. Well, even if you are pregnant, it is much too early for morning sickness. I want to keep from getting too excited. With all the other inseminations, I never felt different at all. When is your pregnancy test, Chris? Wednesday - 6 days and counting. The wait is going to kill me! Right now, I want to go out and buy 6 home pregnancy tests and take one for every day until the doctor's test. Don't waste your money Chris, because every time you get a negative result, it will rip your heart out. And don't bother spending hours dreaming about holding your baby in your arms. Because after having that dream for so many years, I can't feel it any more and now I'm scared I can't dream anymore. Each month, a part of my hope has faded away. After 8 years of this struggle, I don't have much left. Don't let that happen to you Chris. I hope with all my heart you have a baby growing inside you, but if you don't, you will need to hold onto your hopes and dreams in order to stay in this fight. So take it a day at a time, deal with the other things in your life, your husband, your house, your pets, whatever and next Wednesday will be here before you know it.

Norrie: Chris: Kathy: Chris:

Miriam:

(End of Scene)

Scene 3 11/20/12
13

Week Three All but Chris: Chris: (Singing) HAPPY FUTURE BIRTHDAY TO CHRISS AND BARRYS BABY, HAPPY FUTURE BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!! Thanks guys! I have never been serenaded over the computer before. This is so great. I am so excited I can hardly type! Im so jealous I cant stand it, but I am also incredibly happy for you, Chris. So, mom-to-be, how did you find out, and who have you told? Well, I got the news at 3:00 PM yesterday. Barry and I took the day off. We went to the clinic at 8:00 am and they took my blood. They said they would call, good news or bad between 2:00 and 4:00 PM. I assumed that since I hadnt heard anything by 2:45 it was bad news. I was crying, telling Barry I was going to call them, then the phone rang. I made Barry answer it. When I saw him start to cry, I knew it was good news. Barry never cries at bad news, even when his mom died. We sat there and hugged each other for about an hour, then started calling people. He called his sister and his dad, and I called my four sisters and my parents. Then I sent you all emails. About 150 people know! Eileen: Miriam: Well kiddo, it couldnt happen to a nicer person. Wait a minute, yes it could, it couldve happened to me! Quite frankly, I think it will never happen for me. I hate doctors and needles and waiting rooms. I don't know why I just don't give up. Miriam, if you honestly believe it will never happen, why do you go on trying? Because I will hate myself if I give up. Then I will think the reason I am not a mother is because I didnt try hard
14

Miriam: Norrie: Chris:

Kathy: Miriam: 11/20/12

enough. Anne: Chris: Anne: Well, I am doing this last cycle, and then I am giving up. If it doesnt work this time, I will change my life goals. What do you mean? Well, if I cant be a parent, which, I think is the most important job in the world, then I will have to do something else that is important. And let me tell you, working for an insurance company doesnt qualify. I told Bill if we quit treatments, I was going to raise homeless dogs and cats. And since he hates animals, Bill is more than willing to continue until Im 50 years old! How come none of you talk about adopting? Been there, tried that. You want to talk about pain? Try shelling out $17,000 to a 20-year old pregnant college kid, so she can get good medical care and stay in school. Then, after the baby is born, and you have held him in your arms, smelled him, kissed him, and even given him a name, the college kid changes her mind, drops out of school and takes the baby with her. Ouch! Kathy, dont let that sway you. Not all adoption attempts turn out bad. In fact, Barry and I are registered with an agency that does all the emotional work for you. It takes a lot longer but it doesnt have as many horror stories. Wow, now that you are pregnant, will you turn the agency down, if they find you a baby? No way! I plan on having as many kids as I can, so I know some will be adopted. I think its terrible what we have to go through to prove how good we would be as parents, and other people who dont want children end up having them and mistreating them.
15

Eileen:

Kathy: Miriam:

Eileen: Chris:

Kathy: Chris: Miriam:

11/20/12

Norrie: Miriam:

Miriam, Miriam, boy are we in a foul mood tonight. What gives? Tom wants me to give up all treatments, and even my support groups for one year. He says it has changed me. Hes right. But you know what pisses me off? That it hasnt changed him. I sometimes dont think he really wants any children. How can he not be changed? Face it, men see things differently than women. It took me a couple of years to realize that Bills reaction to infertility was different, not because he didnt care, but it was HIS reaction, based on how he was raised, and taught to behave. Think about it, do you think you would ever see Clint Eastwood talking to his poker buddies and confiding in them that he couldnt make his wife pregnant? What kills me about Tom is that he has an uncanny ability to NOT think about things he doesnt want to. He can just turn it off, like a switch. Kevin and I had this great talk about 2 years ago. He felt I was letting my life revolve around infertility and the treatments, and he was right. But I can never get away from infertility. My body is refusing to do something it was meant to do. I accused him of only going through all this to make me happy. And I was right. Sure, he wants kids, but he can be happy without them as well. We really learned something about each other that night. Kevin sees the glass as half full. I see it as the only water left on the face of the earth. Miriam, try being married to Barry. He used to try and make me feel better after each failure and I would shut him out. I didn't mean to but I did. He would tell me month after month " it's ok" but he knew it wasn't. Infertility consumes our lives, but our husbands dont feel that way, and cant feel that way. Gary definitely says I think about this too much. What is too much? I know sometimes he wishes he had a wife who was less obsessed, but he also knows that if it wasnt infertility, I would be driven about something else. Despite his hard talk, I know he desperately wants more kids. I remember my first
16

Eileen:

Miriam:

Anne:

Chris:

Norrie:

11/20/12

miscarriage, he cried harder and longer than I did. Chris: Hey guys, at the risk of hurting feelings, I need to bring something up. Now that I am pregnant, I probably wont be joining you every week for our chat sessions. Its that, well, it is time to move on. I love you all, and you have been the best therapy anyone could ask for. I hope you understand. Totally. Chris we love you too, and we are very happy for you. Please email us to keep us informed of how things are going. You bet. Take care everyone, and I hope to visit with all of you in the mother's chat sessions next time!

Norrie:

Chris:

Everyone: Bye Chris, take care, good luck.... (Chris light goes off, and she leaves the stage) Miriam: Eileen: Anne: Ok, is anyone else surprised at how fast she dumped us? Not me, who would ever want to be part of this group if you didnt have to? I agree Miriam, I thought she would hang out for a few more weeks, then miss a session or two and sort of gradually fade away. We all handle things in different ways. Im sure Chris needed a clean break. And I dont think we should judge her, since we havent been in her shoes. Good point as always, Norrie. Well, good luck to the rest of us. See you all next week.

Norrie:

Anne:

(End of Scene)

11/20/12

17

Scene 4 Week Four Kathy: (laughing) And Steve is squirming in his chair, getting real uncomfortable with the doctor talking about how he has to give a sperm sample. Well, I know him well enough that there is no way he will do it in a doctors office, so I asked if he could do it at home and deliver it to the office. The doctor says sure, many of her patients do it that way. Then Steve asks what to put it in, and she says, Use a cleaned out baby food jar. I burst out laughing....A baby food jar??? But the doctor and Steve just stared at me. I guess they didnt see the irony of that. Kathy, remember, if you have any questions about what she is telling you, just ask us - weve probably experienced it already. Thanks. Actually I do have a personal question for you Norrie. I know I want a lot of kids, but at this point, I keep thinking, let me have just one. Is your desire for having another child the same as before you had Sara? Well, first let me preface this by saying this is MY opinion. I have met many mothers who have one child who are perfectly happy. Some people may wonder why I consider myself infertile since I have given birth. My perspective is that infertility is an experience that stays with you forever, like alcoholism. In that regard, like an alcoholic who hasnt had a drink in 5 years can still attend AA meetings, I think infertile parents can still participate in support groups. One thing I know is that the pain of infertility never leaves you, no matter how successful you are. Because you didnt get to choose when to have children or how many, or will never get the chance to decide to stop having children because you want to. Its as if someone else is making all the decisions for you. What makes secondary infertility so hard is I am constantly being told to be thankful that I have a child. Well guess what? I am thankful, but dont tell me I am not allowed to hurt because I cant have any more.
18

Norrie:

Kathy:

Norrie:

11/20/12

Anne:

Not me, one will definitely be enough. If I manage to pull off a miracle and actually have a kid, I will be going to his high school graduation as a senior citizen. So God - give me one, and one child only please! Anne does this mean if you have twins, you will give me one of your babies? Just name your price. So Kathy, when do you get Steves test results back? We should have them by early next week. I told him one shot in the jar, and no more! Did you get the boxers? I did, but Steve didnt want me to wear them, he thought I was crazy. Well, after a few cycles, I bet he will be willing to wear your thong bikini underwear! Anne! What a great idea, why didnt I think of this? Yeah right! That will be the day, you getting macho Bill to wear womans underwear. Well, hes done it before. Eileen! What havent you told us? Youve been holding back! (Hesitant) Lets just say he likes tight silky things, and thats all Im going to say on the subject. (whistles, and catcall noises) Go for it Bill! Sexy man! Ouch! Girls, girlslets have a bit of respect for free spirits! Bill only wears them to play basketball with the guys. It was some sort of good luck thing, and now it is a habit. He comes home to shower and change, so no one knows. Like you all dont have weird habits? Come on Miriam, what about yours and Toms sex journal? Thats pretty weird.
19

Eileen: Norrie: Kathy: Eileen: Kathy: Anne: Eileen: Miriam: Eileen: Anne: Eileen: Others: Eileen:

11/20/12

Miriam: Eileen:

Its not unusual to log your sexual activity when you are going though fertility treatments. True, true, but I dont think the location of where you jumped each other, the position, and how long the episode lasted is relevant to fertility. Well, my hat is off to you guys. Ive had so much timed sex in the last few years that I think I could go a whole year with no sexual contact at all. Its all so mechanical to me. I wonder if I will ever get the urge back again? Is there a Viagra for women? Maybe that would help. Viagra! Can you believe men are taking that drug? Even though there are associated health risks, a guy is going to risk his heart just to have a hard on. Is that crazy or what? Who would take a drug that has serious health considerations for sex? Men, thats who. Women are too smart; they would never do that. Listen to us! You think women are smart? Well take a look around and count this group out then. Look at what risks we are taking, all in the name of motherhood. We have voluntarily put ourselves into a false menopause, quadrupled the amount of hormones raging through our bodies, hyperstimulated our ovaries, risked infection from giving multiple injections into our hips and thighs, and subjected ourselves to possible side effects like cancer, just for the chance to get pregnant. No guaranties mind you. Just a chance, with odds low enough no bookie would touch in a million years. No, I don't think we are smart. Sometimes optimistic, obsessive, desperate and unfortunately, often just plain crazy. But, I don't know what other choice we have. But, with each shuffle of the deck, it is a brand new game, with the possibility of a new result. And that possibility, as slim as it is, makes the risks seem unimportant.

Anne:

Kathy: Eileen:

Anne:

(End of Scene)

11/20/12

20

Scene 5 Week 17 (All six women are back at their stools, including Chris who is not pregnant. Norrie is obviously pregnant.) Eileen: So did you guys see the Miracle of Birth on the learning channel? Was that cool or what? Did you notice the sperm heads glowed? If they glow in the dark why don't we see them when they exit our bodies? If you have sex in the dark that is. They dont glow in the dark Eileen, I think that was strictly for filming purposes. Well thats good, one less problem with Bills sperm. Although Im not sure the operation was the cure all it was supposed to be. I go for my pregnancy test on Saturday but I already know it is going to be negative. Why are you so sure? Well, no period yet, but I have all the signsI have a pimple the size of a pea on my left nostril, and I can play connect the zits on my back. My boobs would fall off if I didnt wear a bra. (stands up and acts this out) I can see it now, I stand up too quickly, off falls my left breast and I dont see it and accidentally kick it under the couch. Then, because Bill is out of town, I have to go ask a neighbor to help me move the furniture to get it back. He picks it up my boob, and its covered in dust bunnies when he hands it back to me - what a mess! (laughing) Eileen, you always could make me laugh. (Unaware that she was back: there is a big pause from everyone) Miriam: 11/20/12 Chris, you are back! (tentatively) How are you doing?
21

Norrie: Eileen:

Anne: Eileen:

Chris:

Chris: Anne: Chris:

Not very good. (pause, starting to cry) I miscarried three weeks ago, and I cant seem to get over it. Oh Chris! I am so sorry for your loss. (losing it) I dont know what to do with myself. People stay away from me and no one wants to talk to me, even Barry has been avoiding me. Oh Chris, I am so sorry. Do they know why? No, and everyone kept saying that it was Gods will, and that I was obviously never meant to have him in the first place. (angry) How does anyone know which babies are meant to be born? Was Ted Bundy supposed to be born? Everyone tells me not to worry and that I will have other babies. Well I dont want other babies, I want him! If I could just erase the last 4 months of my life. Chris, you will never forget him. I know it is hard to believe, but the sorrow of losing your baby will make you stronger, and hopefully wiser. Im glad you are back because the worste thing you can do is to try and bear this alone. You guys are great. I was in the hospital for a couple of days before I lost him, because I went into premature labor. They tried to stop it because there was no chance he would survive at only 15 weeks. I was prepared to spend the next three months in bed. We named him Timothy Edward. Since he was under 20 weeks, the doctors didn't consider him still born, (sarcastically) he is only a miscarriage. Barry and I buried him in my familys plot. Its been 3 weeks and I still do nothing but cry all day long. I had to share my thoughts with someone. Its so funny, I have never met any of you in person but I feel as if you are my best friends sometimes. We are best friends. It doesn't matter that we dont actually see each other. Well, as glad as I am to have you in my life again, I am sorry to see everyone is still around. Tell me what you
22

Kathy: Chris:

Norrie:

Chris:

Miriam: Chris: 11/20/12

have been up too. Eileen: Anne: Miriam: Chris: Norrie: Kathy: I had an insemination two weeks ago, but as I already eloquently stated, I dont think it worked. I had my 3rd IVF procedure last week, so I have 8 days till my pregnancy test, but this is definitely my last cycle! Well, Tom and I are still going at each other's throats so I decided to try other unique options. What about you Norrie, and Kathy? Oh you know me, same ole, same ole, but Kathy has some good news. Yes! I am 9 weeks pregnant. Steves and my first IVF did the trick. I feel so bad because it was so easy for me to get pregnant. Easy? You call getting stuck by needles over 200 times in a three-month period easy? Lucky maybe, but not easy! (Curious) Miriam, what is this other option you are doing? Well, Im not sure I should say anythingOk, Im dying to tell someone. Can you guys keep a secret? (all overlapping) Of course! Have we ever broken one, etc? OK, I will tell you guys because I know it cant get back to Tom. You know that what Tom and I have is an incompatibility between my body and his sperm. Do you guys know much about this diagnosis? Yes, and it is quite complicated. It has to do with antibodies and immune disorders. Your doctor should be running specific test you for (cutting her off) No, as Tom said, no more tests. So, if we cant effectively treat this disorder, then I thought I would simply take one of us out of the picture.
23

Anne:

Miriam: Others: Miriam:

Norrie:

Miriam:

11/20/12

Eileen: Miriam:

Are you guys doing donor sperm or eggs? Neither. I thought of something a lot easier and it has an extra benefit, its fun! (Typing extremely fast to get this out) Im having an affair with this guy from work. You are kidding. Miriam! Are you crazy?? Come on guys, you said it yourself lots of times, that you would do anything to have a child. Well, this guy doesnt know about this part of my life, and he is doing it for the fun. To be honest, it is so exciting, even if I dont get pregnant. So where do you guys do it? We have done it in my office and his! But most of the time we go to his place. Once we did it in the file room! God, it was great! I take it Tom has no idea about this. How about AIDS? Arent you worried about that? We both got tested before we did anything. (Condescendingly) What will you say if it actually works? Will Tom ever know the truth? Oh come on now, dont get all moral on me. He wont have to know. Peter looks a lot like Tom, only 10 years younger and a lot more muscle. Miriam, I hate to sound judgmental, but dont you see this is not the way to fight infertility? Do you really think this will work? Come on guys, lay off ok? Its been so long since I have had a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Miriam is right, we dont have to agree with her methods, and if it makes you happy, then I can live with it.
24

Others: Miriam:

Eileen: Miriam:

Norrie: Miriam: Norrie: Miriam:

Anne:

Miriam: Kathy:

11/20/12

Miriam: Eileen: Miriam: Kathy: Miriam:

Thank you. Ok, so now that you know we dont endorse it, tell us all! Are you scared of getting caught? Well, not by Tom, but we sure have had some close calls at work. But that adds to the excitement. How do you make sure you are having sex with him during ovulation? No problems in that department! We have been having sex once a day for almost a month! I have even managed to see him on weekends. This guy is like a rabbit. Youth it truly is wasted on the young! Are you doing it with Tom at all? Yes, I just schedule a session with Tom around ovulation, as a safety precaution. I guess you should find out soon if it works? My period is due this weekend. But, I got to tell you girls, even if it doesnt work this cycle, Im up for trying a lot more! Boy, Id sure like to read your sex journal now! Tell me about it! Miriam, are you actually journaling these escapades? Yes, they are much too good not to. But dont worry, my journal is password protected. You are taking a big chance, girl! Yeah, but since you already have it in print, can I download one or two days worth? Eileen, nobody but me is ever going to read my journal. Unless I make it a book someday.
25

Anne: Miriam: Kathy: Miriam:

Eileen: Miriam: Norrie: Miriam: Anne: Eileen: Miriam: 11/20/12

Anne:

Well Miriam, I may not be politically correct, but good luck to you and enjoy it while you can. Im at the point where I dont care if I ever have sex again. Well Anne, all you need to get a new lease on life is a young lover. Now hold on a minutelets not corrupt everyone! I dont need a new lover, I just need some new moves, and fantasies! So, come on Miriam, just one episode? Ok, I tell you what; next week, for anyone who shows up in the chat room 15 minutes early, Ill provide some details on our most daring escapade. Hot Damn! Sounds good to me! Who else is game? I'll be here. It sounds interesting, I think Me too. No offence Miriam, but I think I will take a rain check, but I will join everyone at our normal time. Chris? Come on, you are going to come back next week aren't you? Yes, I'll be here. (pause) I need to keep busy. I need to forget him, but I just can't seem to, no matter what I do. (starts to cry) I'm sorry, I just want to get over it. Chris, listen to me, it is ok not to get over it. That was your child you lost, and you will never get over the death of your own child. I know the shock, the fear and the pain you are experiencing. I know what it is like to not be able to look past the next hour, much less the next day. I want to tell you this Chris, so that you will believe me when I say I wish I could hold you and tell you the pain will go away. Unfortunately it wont. Yes, you will learn to get on with your own life, but you will never forget this experience. And the good news is that he will always be
26

Miriam: Norrie: Eileen: Miriam:

Eileen: Kathy: Anne: Norrie: Eileen: Chris:

Norrie:

11/20/12

with you, in your heart. Right now, the one gift I can give you is my understanding. I wish it could be more, something I could put in a fancy box covered in wrapping paper with a pretty ribbon or bow. But unlike that kind of gift, my understanding will never break, get lost or get stolen. So, I am offering a piece of myself to you Chris. Please know that it is strong and straight from my heart. Use it as much as you can and know that it will always be here for you. (End of Scene)

11/20/12

27

Scene 6 Week 18 (Five of the six women are at their chairs. Norrie is absent) Miriam: So then he leaves me, blindfolded and handcuffed to the supply shelf, with my blouse unbuttoned. About 2 minutes later, I hear the door to the warehouse open. I say, Peter, is that you? and there is no answer. Well Im about ready to shit some bricks, I figured someone has come in to get some supplies, or files. So, I shut up, figuring maybe they wont come down this row. Mother of God, sweet Jesus, I would have died! Well I was dying! I was also trying to figure out how I was going to explain my circumstances. Next thing I know, I feel a hand on me. I freaked out and started to scream. Then, another hand is put over my mouth so that I can't scream. Next thing I know, I am being fondled. So, I am thinking that it is Peter, so I relax and begin to get into it. Ok, this is where it gets freaky. Im standing there, with a hand over my mouth and another playing with my breast, and the next thing I know, a third hand is going down my underwear! (reacting) What? How can that be? (Etc.) Let me tell you, if you have never been blindfolded, I highly recommend it. Not knowing who is doing what to where freaks you out, but it is such a turn on! So was it Peter? What happened next? Well let me fast forward to the end. There was no sex, at least as defined by Bill Clinton, but I can tell you that I thoroughly enjoyed myself. And there I was, still handcuffed, trying to keep my legs from totally collapsing from under me, and I realize Im alone again. Im there another minute and Peter comes rushing back in, apologizing, saying he was so sorry he took so long but
28

Eileen: Miriam:

Others: Miriam:

Anne: Miriam:

11/20/12

that his boss caught him in the hall and asked him to do something. Kathy: Miriam: Chris: Miriam: (Horrified) You mean that wasnt him with you? Well, he claims it wasnt but I think it really was. But the fact that I dont really know makes it so exciting. But what about the extra hand? Was there more than one person there? I dont know, but it certainly felt like more than one person, and since Peter swears he wasnt even there at all, he isnt telling me. God, Miriam, you should write X-rated movies. That is too unreal! (Norrie walks to her chair, very pregnant) Miriam: Norrie: Others: Miriam: Norrie: Miriam: Tell me about it. This is the first month I havent cried when I found out I wasnt pregnant. Miriam, why dont you divorce Tom if you are unhappy with him? Hello Norrie, welcome. Listen Norrie, I know you dont approve, but my reproductive and sex life is my business, not yours. Well, you seem to have made it our business. Now wait one minute. As I recall, you guys asked me what options I was pursuing, and I also recall being asked to provide the juicy details. Are you jealous Norrie or what? No Miriam, there is no jealousy here at all. I wouldnt trade one fragment of my life for yours. I don't want to see our forum to start sounding like Cosmo article, How to dump your man and still get a baby. Whoa, you two. Lets calm down, ok? Gee Norrie, Ive
29

Eileen:

Norrie:

Eileen: 11/20/12

never seen you so hormonal. You sound like a pregnant woman. (Pause) Oh sorry, that was very insensitive. Norrie: Well, leave it to Eileen to figure me out. As a matter of fact, I am pregnant.

Everyone: (cries of Norrie, congrats, I cant believe it. I knew there was something different about you lately, etc) Miriam: Norrie: Anne: Norrie: Eileen: Norrie, that is great. Im truly sorry if I offended you in any way. Im sorry too, Miriam. I am so blessed, having the luck to produce two healthy babies. Norrie, just how far along are you? 6 months 6 months! Youve been keeping this a secret for 6 months? (As if she is angry) How could you? (Change of tone) No seriously, how did you manage to keep it to yourself? Im not sure. I know with my history of miscarriage, I wanted to get the amnio done before anyone knew. When the results said she is perfect, I couldnt find the time to tell you guys. There was always someone in the group suffering too much or celebrating their good fortune. It just didnt feel like the right time. Im sorry. Norrie, our babies will be close in age! This is so exciting. I cant believe we are going to have 2 graduates. Is this group going to be able to stay together? I think we can get lots of new members, especially men, if we get Miriam to give us weekly updates on her activities! Very funny Eileen, but I think I will pass on that! So Eileen, you seem to be in a good mood. Whats your
30

Norrie:

Kathy: Chris: Eileen: Miriam: Norrie: 11/20/12

verdict? Eileen: Yeah, I am happy, arent I? Go figure, it isnt because Im pregos, cause Im not. But, last Saturday was the start of a new cycle! How do you stay so positive, Eileen? My pregnancy test is set for tomorrow. Im not even optimistic now! Anne, look at this group! Three pregnancies and two of the three are still with us. Those are pretty good odds. Depends on which person you are. Oh Chris, I'm sorry, but think about how hard it was to get pregnant. Dont you see that as a milestone, or do you wish it had never happened? Ask me next week, after I get some testing done. (pause) There is a chance my uterus was damaged during the miscarriage. I may never be pregnant again. Chris, thats awful. Im so sorry. What will you do then? Well, Barry and I are still in the adoption race, so we will put all our efforts in that camp and hope for the best. Thats what I like! Another optimist! (Dancing and chanting) Go girl, you go girl, Whew! Someone shoot Eileen for me, ok? God, shes getting on my nerves. Excuuuuuuse me! Sounds like Miriam needs a little more nooky! Shes already getting it more than the rest of us put together! Yeah, but shes an addict now. (Performing pretending to be hooked on drugs). Come on Peter,
31

Anne: Kathy: Chris: Kathy:

Chris:

Norrie: Anne: Chris: Eileen: Miriam: Eileen: Norrie: Eileen: 11/20/12

just one more time. Please, you know Im good for it. Miriam: Anne: Miriam: Anne: Eileen: Anne: (Smiling) OK Eileen, very funny. Ill take the contract off your life if you give my sex life a break! OK, since everyone is baring their souls, or in Miriams case, her breasts, Everyones a comedian! Ill tell you all a secret. Four years ago, Kevin had an affair, but he doesnt know that I know. No shit! How did you find out? He started talking a lot about this woman he works with. He was working with her on a few projects, so it wasnt unusual, but it seemed weird the way her name kept coming up in conversation. One night, I had to go out of town for business and I called home. By the way Kevin was talking to me, I could tell someone was there with him. When I asked him, he said it was Roy, his buddy down the street. But I had my doubts. So what made you suspect he was seeing someone? I give credit to my nosey neighbor. She called me a few days after my trip. She didnt know I had been out of town. She asked who was visiting us the other night. When I asked her what she meant, she mentioned she was admiring the red BMW in the driveway the night I was gone, and noticed it was still there the next morning. Wait a minute. This chick owns a BMW, which would stand out like a sore thumb, and they didnt park it in the garage? I guess they didnt think about that. Anyway, I still didnt know whose car it was, but I knew it wasnt Roys. Then, two months later, we went to Kevins company picnic, and we got there the same time this woman did, and I saw her get out of a red BMW.
32

Norrie: Anne:

Eileen:

Anne:

11/20/12

Chris: Anne:

What a snake! Did you smack her? Actually, it was quite apparent she was avoiding him at the picnic. He wasnt trying to catch her eye or anything either, so I think it was only a one night stand. Maybe nothing happened. Since the car was still there in the morning, I think they actually went through with it. So why did you never say anything? Since it was obvious to me that his crush was over, I didnt know what it would accomplish. I think they did it, but it didnt live up to his or her expectations. Or maybe the guilt was so bad, it wasnt worth continuing. If I felt it was, I would have definitely put a stop to it. But besides that one event, Kevin has been a perfect husband, so I forgave him. Good for you Anne, you are a better person than I am. Hey, listen. About the affair thing with Peter, thanks for not being too judgmental about me. I know having an affair is not an acceptable action in most minds. Yes, I had options and I didnt have to go this route, but I did. So, thank you for being my friends, and not condemning me. I find you all so remarkable. I am amazed with all you have endured during your lives. I guess I am so lucky, in some respects I feel guilty. I haven't lived through one tenth of the experiences each of you have been through. Sometimes I wonder if I am worthy enough to be your friend. But I do know that I am thankful to each of you. For sharing your experiences and exposing your souls. Each of you has impacted my life in ways you can't imagine and thus you will always be a part of me because each of you has helped shape the mom I will become. So, please know that I offer each of you my thanks from the bottom of my heart.

Norrie: Anne: Kathy: Anne:

Chris: Miriam:

Kathy:

(End of Scene) 11/20/12

33

Scene 7 Week 19 Anne: This hurts so much. I want a baby and find myself fantasizing about our life with this baby. On the other hand, am I fooling myself? Perhaps I am missing out on moments that can never be replaced because of this allconsuming passion and obsession to be pregnant and give birth to a baby. After getting my results, I couldn't face anyone. Even when I went to get the mail, I was terrified of getting one more card announcing an addition to someone else's family that would only reminded me of my own bodys limitations. Anne and Chris, hugs to both of you. What a bad week! It rarely happens that two of us are given bad news in the same week. You know, I never thought of myself as selfish, jealous or downright crabby until I started going through all of this. I swear to all of you I am not going to go through this emotional roller coaster any more. I guess I have to face the fact that I will never be a mom. Well, I firmly believe something will happen for all of us; one way or another. I WILL be a mother. And YOU all will too. I believe things happen for a reason. But I don't believe I have ever done anything bad enough to deserve this punishment. Why has my body betrayed me? I cant believe I'm incapable of having a child. Barry doesn't know how screwy I am right now. You guys have kept me from going off the deep end. I dont think things happen for a reason. Do you think God controls us all to that extent? I certainly don't think he is picking and choosing who does and does not get pregnant. If that were the case, then drug addicts and teenagers wouldn't get pregnant. I think it is all very random, and

Chris:

Norrie:

Anne:

Eileen:

Chris:

Kathy:

he watches us deal with each new hurdle life hands us. How we handle the hurdles is what is important. Chris: Well, I do not choose to feel this way so why do I? If I had any choice I would choose happiness, even if I end up childless. So how can I stop these feelings? I've tried counselors and even a hypnotist. God, I sound so damn selfish. I'm ashamed for feeling this way. Ok, let's try to keep things in perspective. I know that today, because of what I have been through, I am more compassionate to others with disabilities. When I see someone with an obvious problem, I can now imagine their pain and suffering. We all see stories of people with amazing fortitude make the best of their situation, and that is what I intend to do, pregnant or not! Chris, you are still working the adoption angle, right? Yes, but it seems so far away. If I can never be pregnant, then I want a baby now. We all develop a selfish part of us at times. It is fueled by hormones that want us to be successful and cannot bear anyone else's good news. Hey guys, dont take this the wrong way, but Im not into wallowing in self-pity or even lending a lot of support tonight. Im really sorry. I know you wont understand and that you will chat about me after Im gone. I wanted you to know where I am coming from, rather than just not show up. Will you join us next week? Im not sure. Let me take it a week at a time. Miriam signing off. (She gets up and leaves the stage). Shes probably searching for an adult-sex chat instead. Eileen! She is in a different stage of life than we are. I feel bad, did I really wallow in self-pity?
35

Eileen:

Chris: Norrie:

Miriam:

Norrie: Miriam: Eileen: Kathy: Anne: 11/20/12

Chris: Norrie: Anne: Eileen: Norrie: Kathy: Chris: Eileen: Norrie:

How about me? I was worse than you were! Kathy is right. The focus of Miriams life is no longer trying to get pregnant. Well, she certainly isnt depressed and angry anymore. I wonder if she has come to terms with not being a mother. Well, I hate to be the predictor of bad news, but if Peter dumps her I bet she will be back in a flash. And if she comes back, we will welcome her with open arms, because she is one of us. You guys, I dont even know what you all look like. Can we email photos of each other or something? Sure, but what we ought to do is get together somewhere and meet for a weekend. Great idea, Chris! I'd love a road trip. Well, I think it is a great idea, but do you mind if we set it up for way in the future, I really dont want to travel while Im pregnant. Thats a good point, and Im not due for another 5 months. Lets pick a date in the future and start planning now. We should pick a central place. How about if we do it in the DC area? With Miriam being from Northern Virginia and me from Maryland, there are two of us taken care of right there. Do you think Miriam would come? We will definitely invite her, whether she comes or not is up to her. How about a year from now in September? That should give us plenty of time to plan.
36

Kathy: Anne: Norrie:

Eileen: Norrie: Chris: 11/20/12

Anne: Eileen:

Labor Day weekend. Ha, I love it! Maybe we will be lucky and one of us will be pregnant then, and in labor! Ok, it is official. Labor Day in DC next year, the 6 of us, our spouses, if they want to tag along, and all the kids. And by this time next year, there will be a bunch of them born and others on their way!

(End of Scene)

11/20/12

37

Scene 8 Week 72 (Labor Day Weekend, the following year. Location is at a park in Washington D.C. There is a park bench and a flower box. Eileen is sitting on the bench. Norrie walks in) Norrie: Eileen: Norrie: Eileen: Norrie: Eileen, is that you? You are here early, just like me. You ever notice we are always the first two online each week? (gets up and walks over to Norrie and hugs her). Norrie, you look exactly like your pictures. Well, I'm glad I finally got around to emailing you all my picture after Riley was born. So, where are the girls and Gary? Left them at home. So, I have a baby sitter for the weekend and am ready to relax with my friends. (pause) How are you? (putting on her best smile) You know me, Ms. Positive. Bill finally agreed to do IVF. I mean, how many inseminations do we have to fail? You sure you are ok with this. Of the five of us Im the only one who doesnt have a child or isnt expecting one. I know. Of course I am ok with this. I wouldnt miss meeting my best friends for the world. (Chris comes running in, grabs them both in a big bear hug, nearly knocking the two of them over in the process) Chris: Eileen: Chris: 11/20/12 Hello you guys! God it is great to see you. Whoa! Ever thought about playing pro football? (talking a mile a minute) Ha, you must be Eileen! I knew I would recognize you. And Norrie, you look just like
38

Eileen:

Norrie: Eileen:

your picture! Hey, do you guys want to see a picture of Michelle? We got them in the mail last week. She is so adorable! (Pulls photos out of her purse). Norrie: Chris: Chris! Yes, lets see her. (looks at photos) Isn't she adorable! When do you leave for China to get her? In two weeks, as soon as the paperwork is done. I cant wait, I am so excited! (Kathy comes walking in and stands back a ways, watching the three women talk) Eileen: Chris: Oh really? I couldnt tell. (Looking at the photos). Oh, she is cute! How old is she now? She is 6 months old, but still only 12 pounds. Unfortunately, they dont get much food. That is why I want to get over there and bring her home as soon as possible. Norrie, let me see pictures of your girls! (Norrie pulls some out of her purse and gives them to Chris and Eileen) Here are the most recent ones. ( Norrie looks up and sees Kathy watching them) Kathy, is that you? Yes, I didnt want to interrupt (she walks over to them, they all exchange hugs). No problem, just tackle us, we are used to it! Kathy, you are pregnant again, right? And your little one is only 7 months old? Boy, are you a fertility machine. Yeah, pretty ironic, isnt it. We got right back into treatment and it worked again. (Looking at Eileen) I feel so bad. Would you cut the guilt routine? Dont feel bad. It's great you are expecting again. So, who is missing? We havent seen Anne yet.
39

Norrie:

Kathy: Eileen: Chris: Kathy:

Eileen: Norrie: 11/20/12

Chris: Kathy: Chris: Norrie: Eileen: Norrie:

She was dragging her husband and the twins here from New York, so she has an excuse for being late. I cant wait to see her twins, they should be almost 2 months old by now. How about Miriam? Did you ever hear from her, Norrie? Yes, and she got the information about this weekend, but did not commit to anything. I too tried to convince her to come but I'm not sure she will make it. Well, she knows exactly where we are meeting. (Anne comes in, looking like a wreck)

Anne:

Im so sorry Im late. How are you all? (Every one hugs Anne, and she identifies each person correctly as she hugs them)

Eileen: Anne: Kathy: Anne:

God, I cant believe you got us all right! Me either, I cant tell my two kids apart. It drives me crazy! But dont you have one boy and one girl? Yes, thank god, otherwise I would have definitely switched them before now! But I am not the only one; I catch Kevin opening up their diapers to figure out who is who! Well, our reservations are in 10 minutes, we probably should head over to the restaurant. I don't think we should wait around for Miriam, she knows where dinner is, if she shows. Well, Im famished. I cant wait for a sit down meal, someone to serve me and no kids hollering in my ear! Not me. I cant wait to hear my daughter crying in my ear.
40

Norrie:

Anne: Chris: 11/20/12

Kathy:

It's funny how things change over time. Our desires from a year ago are all memories. (she pauses, glances at Eileen, realizing her comment was not appropriate for Eileen) (trying to break the mood) Hey, why dont you all get going. Ill join you in a few minutes. Im going to run back to my hotel room for a minute and call Bill first. (sensing that Eileen wants to be alone) Ok women, lets go. Ill show you the way. (Arm in arm, the four women leave the stage, saying see you in a little bit Eileen, etc.) (Eileen is sitting on the bench staring out. A tear forms in her eye and she starts to cry. Behind her, Miriam comes into the park. She notices that Eileen is crying, and decides to come forward).

Eileen:

Norrie:

Miriam: Eileen:

(upbeat, trying to get Eileen in a better mood) Hey woman, I finally made it! Where is everyone? (Wiping the tears away, trying to hide the fact that she was crying). They went on to dinner. I thought I would wait for you, in case you were late. See, good thing I did! (they hug). Im sorry I havent kept better in touch with everyone this past year. (pause) Tom and I are getting a divorce, and Peter is history. He has been for a while now. Wow, I am sorry to hear that. But how are you doing? I mean, really doing, inside? Actually, pretty good, considering. A couple of years ago, I was in love with my husband and looking forward to being a mom. Now I am on my own, dating again for the first time in years. And do you know what? I now sometimes wonder who I am. During my marriage, I was Tom's wife, and it seemed everything I did revolved around him. Now, my future is up in the air and that terrifies me. I'm
41

Miriam:

Eileen: Miriam:

11/20/12

scared of the unknown. But it is also very exciting. And I must say that chatting with you Eileen has rubbed off on me. I'm staying positive and I am looking at this period in my life as something I need to deal with in order to grow as a person. Do you know what I mean? Eileen: Miriam: (amazed) I have no idea what you mean, but I can tell you are happy. (pauses and thinks about it) Yeah, I guess I am. Except I know I still want to be a mother, one of these days. (looks at Eileen, hugs her again). So, are we the only true originating members left in our club? Yeah, it looks that way. (Wipes another tear from her eye) Damn, I thought I could handle this. Why cant I be around my best friends and enjoy their company this weekend? Because you deserve what they all have. Hell, you all deserve it more than me, but no one more than you Eileen. I dont know. I thought I could accept it with them. And now, I dont think I can. You dont have to, you can go out with me tonight and get drunk. What, you don't want to go to the dinner? No, It's been too long since I've been part of the group. You are different, and so is Norrie. I can deal with you two one on one, but the whole group . . . I cant. Miriam, we all love you and no one is judging you. I know that, but they are all feeling pity for me, and that I cant handle. Yeah, I know the feeling. That is why I have to keep the jokes flowing, so the pity doesnt come out.
42

Eileen:

Miriam:

Eileen: Miriam: Eileen: Miriam:

Eileen: Miriam: Eileen:

11/20/12

Miriam:

You know, changes happen. Those women were your best friends, but that friendship has changed because of the differences in your lives. You're right. And I guess I have to be ok with that, dont I? You know, I think I would like to spend this evening not making any more jokes. I just want to cry, scream, vent, and express some of the emotions I have been feeling, but never shared. Maybe I should go back to my room and be alone tonight. No way woman, tonight is my night to be Ms. Positive. We are going out, this is my city and we are going to hit the town. You can cry and scream all you want, but you are doing it with me.

Eileen:

Miriam:

(Eileen turns to Miriam, starts crying and laughing at the same time and hugs her) Eileen: Thanks. You are just what the doctor ordered. Lets forget about our uteruses and our ovaries for tonight and have fun.

(They stand up, and start walking out, arm in arm) Miriam: Eileen: Sounds great. Do you want to go by the restaurant and tell them you are not going to join them? Nah, they are already talking babies. They wont even miss me.

(Miriam and Eileen walk off stage. Blackout)

11/20/12

43