Sex with a disability

Overcoming stigmas and

dispelling myths
by Andrea Harris
Fulcrum Contributor

IN HIS 1987 autobiography Wheels in the Fast

Lane … a blessing in disguise, former Albertan
legislative assembly member Percy Wickman
explores a question posited by many, if not all,
disabled people: “Would anyone be interested in
what I could do physically?”
There is a common stigma associated with
people with disabilities and sexual activity. Ac-
cording to a 2001 Statistics Canada study, 13.5
per cent of Ontarians believe that disabled peo-
ple are asexual beings.
This stigma may contribute to people with
disabilities finding it difficult to form relation-
ships or sexual partnerships with others. Many
experts on disability agree that one of the most
difficult aspects of forming a relationship, or
even a sex life, is finding a person to develop
one with. Notably, a 2003 study entitled Re-
lationships, Sexuality and Adjustment Among
People with Physical Disability highlighted that
illustration by Martha Pearce
hindrances for people with disabilities include
“social attitudes towards physical disability, variety of people—slim and heavy, able-bodied it is for able-bodied individuals. For Wickman, mosexuality and all those unique characteristics
over-protective parents, a lack of privacy, a de- and disabled—around the globe, he contends who was left paralyzed as a result of a serious spi- that make each one of us who we are as a man
pendence on others for care, and inaccessible that this isn’t always how sex goes down. nal cord injury from a car accident, it has been a or woman.”
homes and meeting places”. “The problem with sex these days is assump- mind-expanding experience. He contended that
While considering these important aspects, tions,” said Silverberg. “People assume that sex becoming disabled allowed him to get in touch The Centre for Students with Disabili-
a close relationship—sexual or not—is still should be conducted in a certain spontaneous with certain aspects of both his body and mind ties, located in room 211F of the Unicen-
very much possible for a person with a dis- way between people who fulfill certain qualities, which had been ignored before. Prior to his pa- tre, is a friendly, safe space that offers infor-
ability. and that is just not how it is in real life.” ralysis, Wickman said that he “used to equate mation on disabilities, including sexually
“Most [disabled] people think it must be Although it may be difficult for sex to happen sexuality with sexual intercourse; now I believe related materials. No appointments needed. Visit
them, that there is a problem with who they spontaneously, many disabled people still en- sexuality is a blending of sexual behaviours, comeasyouare.com to find sex toys
are as a person,” said Cory Silverberg, co-au- gage in sexual activities. Whether one is suffer- lifestyle, self-esteem, body image, knowledge, that can be adapted to a particular
thor of The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disabil- ing from cerebral palsy, muscular dystrophy, or feelings, male/female roles, heterosexuality, ho- disability.
ity: For All of Us Who Live With Disabilities, must use a catheter, sex is possible. As a result of
Chronic Pain and Illness and co-owner of To- chronic pain or mobility restrictions, the major-
ronto adult fun store Come As You Are. “But ity of sexual encounters may have to be planned
the truth is that there is nothing wrong with out in advance. Experimenting with and using
you as a person; it is how society views you sex toys is one way of asserting one’s own sexual
[as an asexual being] that makes it difficult to nature, as vibrators and dildos are also excellent
find someone.” ways to overcome limited mobility issues. Most
One myth that Silverberg addresses in his sex toys (for men and women) can be adapted to
book is the way disabled people interact sexu- include extendable remote controls or stretch-
ally, tackling the misconception that disabled ing arms or rods, suction cups or straps and
people don’t have ‘real sex’. He challenges the harnesses so mobility, stretching, and reaching
definition and predominant depiction of ‘real is made easy.
sex’, noting that the most prevalent representa- To some, living with a disability can prove
tion in society is sex between two slim, attrac- exceedingly difficult and discouraging, but sex
tive young people. However, with the diverse is just as important for a healthy relationship as

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 Restricting sex in Canadian media
Q&A with Marcus McCann
by Jaclyn Lytle
Fulcrum Staff
MARCUS MCCANN IS the associate publisher and man-
aging editor of Ottawa’s Capital Xtra!. Published every
three weeks, the gay and lesbian newspaper is the largest
and most widely read alternative publication in the na-
tion’s capital. The Fulcrum alumnus spoke about strict
representations of sex and sexuality issues in Canadian
media.
Fulcrum: What is the importance of having an alterna-
tive news resource like your publication in the city?
Marcus McCann: Our primary mandate is gay and lesbi-
an issues, but we do approach that from a sexual freedom
perspective. That incorporates all kinds of things. There’s
a broad basket of sex and sexuality issues that we deal
with. I think it’s fair to say that most media approach it
from the same angle and that their perspective tends to be
a pretty conservative one. As far as I know, we’re the only
publication—or our chain is at any rate—the only news-
paper chain that writes from a sexual freedom perspective
... There are other gay and lesbian publications, but they
photo courtesy Alex Eady tend to approach reporting from an equality-based rubric
rather than a sexual freedom rubric.
Marcus McCann, associate publisher and managing editor of Ottawa’s
Capital Xtra!, speaks to the Fulcrum about sex.
How do you feel that issues of sex and sexuality are gen-
erally treated by more conventional news media?
FROM THE PRODUCERS OF
“THE RING” AND “DISTURBIA” I think [these issues are
handled] in two ways: I
think that, from time to
THE MOST SHOCKING ENDING time, there are explicit con-
YOU’LL EVER EXPERIENCE! demnations of certain types “I think once you come to
of sex and sexual practices,
and they’re overt. They’re re-
terms with the fact that
ported on usually as things sex isn’t something people
that are criminal, [or] if not
criminal then as things that should be ashamed of, then
are immoral or untoward in
some way. [Or], there’s often
it changes the way you read
some implicit anxiety on the about sex and sexuality.”
part of the [writer] or edi-
tor when dealing with issues
of unconventional sex and
sexuality. I think [the latter
is] probably harder to root
out, and, because they’re invisible, they can have a huge
effect on the way readers think about the topics that are
being discussed.
Do you feel that this apprehensive, traditional attitude
is reflective of the way our society thinks about sex?
I really do wonder about this. I think in some ways that
news organizations are behind the times, that they’re
more prudish than people at large. I think that most Ca-
nadians are with it. It may not be their cup of tea but they
understand that, if it doesn’t affect them, there’s really no
reason to get upset about it. I don’t know where this [atti-
tude] comes from but mainstream newspapers take pains
to imply that a lot of different types of sexual arrange-
ments are somehow unconventional. Almost everybody
fits into this paradigm [of sexual practices] somewhere.
We’re talking about anyone that masturbates, uses a sex
toy, has premarital sex, or isn’t marriage-minded at all,
people that have casual sex, or sex where it’s not just two
people. Obviously it extends to same-sex activity. If you
add up the people that have somehow broken some sex-
ual more or norm, we’re the great bulk of people, I think
across most age brackets.
How do you feel readers should approach material that
deals with the issue of sex and sexuality in the media?
I think once you come to terms with the fact that sex isn’t
something people should be ashamed of, then it changes
the way you read about sex and sexuality.
What do you think is the impact on readers when they
absorb material that presents limiting views so fre-
quently and subtly?
I don’t think it seriously affects how people behave, [but]
I think it sometimes affects how they feel about how they
behave. I’m not trying to preach that people have more
threesomes, or casual sex, or whatever. It’s just that people
ought to feel less ashamed or embarrassed about the kind
of sex that they’re already having. I think that’s one of the
possible outcomes of a more sex-positive attitude in me-
dia, if we could get that to happen.
Writing from a sex-positive perspective and keeping
sexual freedom in mind throughout the paper must
lead, on occasion, to issues of criticism and censorship.
How do you approach negative reactions to your pub-
lication?
Attacking ideas, I think, is
great. Criticize, yes. Write
letters to the editor, write
blog posts, try to get on the
radio talking about it. There’s
the famous American quote
that “Sunshine is the best
disinfectant”. You [give] the
people who you disagree
with a chance to respond
and to some extent [keep
the discussion about] it in
the public eye. If you really
do believe that your opinion
is the right one, and you can
forcefully argue your point,
then I don’t see what you
have to be worried about. People are pretty clever; they
can figure it out, and if you really are on the right side of
it I think that people will come around.
I just get upset about people who want to end the dis-
cussion and clamp down on speech when it’s something
they disagree with. There is some [negativity towards the
publication] and it doesn’t surprise me. You can’t legis-
late social tolerance. People are entitled to their opin-
ions, and I don’t feel compelled to make everybody like
me.
I don’t even need them to respect me, especially. The
idea of monitoring somebody’s privately held beliefs is
[insignificant] in my mind. Things that are high on the pri-
ority list are getting bad anti-sex laws off the books, [and]
ending discrimination in the workplace and schools. In
terms of strategies of resistance, I think the best defence
against oppression is living a full and honest life.

Staff meetings.
SUBJECT TO CLASSIFICATION

IN THEATRES EVERYWHERE JANUARY 30

Copyright © 2009 DW Studios L.L.C.
and Cold Spring Pictures. All Rights Reserved.

FULCRUM
Thursdays at 2:30 p.m.
631 King Edward Ave.
muse
www.thefulcrum.ca // 01.29.09 // Sex// S3
gazette
fulcrum
 Dear Di Ad
penetrat
If you have a question for Di, email deardi@thefulcrum.ca.

Six years of student sex

DEAR ALL,
My first column appeared in the Fulcrum on Sept. 26, 2002,
so it’s been a little over six years since I first started giving sex
advice. Even though my inbox is stuffed, I’ve decided to cel-
ebrate and take the week off. Instead of the usual new Q&As,
below you’ll find my handpicked favourites from my time at the
Fulcrum. If you’d like to come out for drinks with me and
celebrate, I’m going dancing with the rest of the Fulcrumites
this Saturday night at Pub 101. Come find me on the dance
floor. I’ll be wearing my red fuck-me pumps. And, yes, I’ll be
looking to pick up.
Love,
Di
Dear Di,
I found a pocket pussy in my boyfriend’s room! Is our sex
life that awful? Could he be cheating on me? Help!
—Real Pussy
Dear RP,
While I can’t answer your first question, your second is pretty
easy: No. Plastic chick burgers are not a threat. They don’t have
your breasts, ass, personality, or intelligence. Just thank your
lucky stars he’s not rubbing his dick between his mattress and
boxspring into a moisturized sandwich bag. The fact of the mat-
ter is, no matter how often you two fuck, he’s still going to mas-
turbate, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with him spelunk-
ing a silicone snatch—so long as you two are still humping like
bunnies, he’s meeting all your needs, and blah blah blah. Until
you find a $7000 Real Doll in his closet, I think things will be
just fine.
Love,
Dear FFF,
Asexuality—that is, indifference to sexual be-
haviour and lack of sexual attraction—might
be seemingly abnormal, but it is quickly gain-
ing credibility in the medical world and social
scene. Scientists have examined asexuality in rams
(2–3 per cent go without the nookie) and rats and gerbils
(an impressive 12 per cent won’t touch rodent rod). Asexuals
defend their behaviour as a true sexuality, like hetero or homo.
It’s best to straight-up ask the guy what his sexual preference is.
If he is asexual, it’s probably not something your potential boy
toy can change, so you should probably give the flirting a rest
until you find out if he’s a Morrissey or a Johnny Marr. Or you
could always give it a shot and try a meaningful, non-physical
relationship. Good luck.
Love,
Di (02/01/07)
Dear Di,
My boyfriend and I have tried all the role-playing sugges-
tions you doled out in one of your columns last year. We are
stuck in a farmer/farmer’s wife rut (there are only so many
ways you can milk a cow). The bedroom scene is getting a bit
stale again, and we aren’t nearly as creative as you. We need
new material. What’s new in your role-playing repertoire?
—Bored in the Bedroom
Dear BITB,
The farmer/farmer’s wife rut is notoriously hard to escape
(once you shear the sheep, you never want to go back). Here are

at the Ka
Di (10/11/07) a few that I’ve been fine-tuning:
• Lawyer and defendant
Dear Di, • Baker and baker’s assistant
I just started doing anal sex with my gf last week. While the • Woody Allen and his adopted daughter, or alternatively,
first few times were very successful (it was painful for her at Angelina Jolie and her brother
first, but she’s taking it better now, and I climaxed quickly), • Dendrophiliac and balsam fir
the last time it happened was awful. I guess she had just gone • Lonely parking lot attendant and your exhaust pipe by Hisham Kelati information about a w
to the bathroom…and at some point when I pulled out my • Oedipus and Jocasta Fulcrum Contributor conduct of the first w
Johnson there was actual fecal matter surfacing to her rectum. • 9/11 survivor and firefighter other wives (becoming
I nearly gagged. I want to continue the ass-pounding, though • Bumblebee and flower THE KAMA SUTRA is the comprehensive text new wives), courtesans
… Is there anything I can do to decrease the damage? on human sexual behavior. It’s an ancient In- or old lover), and attrac
—Full of Shit Give some of these a shot and let me know how they turn dian text written sometime between the fourth improve yourself physic
out. Have fun. and sixth century AD by Indian scholar and The book’s most h
Dear FOS, Love, philosopher Vatsyayana. There is limited his- about section is the seco
Your letter neglects any mention of having worn a condom, Di (10/05/06) torical data on Vatsyayana, but it was surmised al Union”, and its 10th c
which is an important primary precaution for any anal sex. by writer and psychoanalyst Sudhir Karkar in and depicts how to part
Without the condom, you can contract some nasty bacteria Dear Di, his book, The Ascetic of Desire, that Vatsyayana sex and foreplay, sugge
on your tool. For your girlfriend’s sake, use plenty of lube to My boyfriend keeps suggesting we try wheelbarrow style. spent the majority of his childhood in a brothel tions—all 64 of them—
soften up the entry and withdrawal process, because without I’m too embarrassed to admit that I don’t know what it is, so where he lived with his aunt. Seeing as how the best sexual experience
it, it’s much too painful. Her sphincter is like a bouncer who I keep avoiding his requests. How do I do it like a wheelbar- entire manuscript displays an encyclopaedic partners.
doesn’t let anyone come in through the back of the club un- row? Fill me in, Di! knowledge of all things sex-related, this makes The Kama Sutra is ve
less you dress nicely and tip him a little. The use of a condom —Wide Load sense. explicit pictures provid
and lubrication with, of course, sensibility, will considerably One of the four main goals of life in Indian tion give Hustler and P
facilitate the sex. Unfortunately, with ass comes feces, and Dear WL, philosophy is Kama, the esthetic and erotic money. But, it’s actuall
if she’s willing to let you go that way, reciprocate the open- Filling you in is your boyfriend’s job, but I can still give you pleasure of life. Its complete and total prac- alongside the pictures t
mindedness. some helpful advice. Remember when you were a kid in sum- tice is required in order to reach the highest heavy. With chapter hea
Love, mer camp and you had wheelbarrow races? Your partner would of the four goals, Moksha—the end of the In- the way of Love to be
Di (03/10/05) hold your legs while you supported yourself on your hands, face dian death and rebirth cycle, more commonly to women of different c
down. It’s exactly like that, except you are naked, you aren’t run- known as reincarnation. The Kama Sutra offers various ways of striking
Dear Di, ning, and it’s your boyfriend’s dick instead of your camp coun- the sexual tips needed to successfully complete propriate to them”, this b
Recently I’ve encountered a problem that I’ve never had be- sellor’s. It allows for easier G-spot stimulation. The downside is Kama while incorporating the strict rules of In- of heart or the prudish.
fore. I’m almost positive the guy I’m into is asexual. It’s not that it’s totally uncomfortable and you can potentially break your dian philosophy. With ample detail o
only that he’s not into me, but he’s not into anyone—man, face during orgasm. But hey, love knows no bounds, right? The Kama Sutra has a total of 36 chapters your woman (“When, in
woman, or animal. What should I do? Is there any hope of Good luck! grouped into seven sections: the introduction the half of it into his mo
breaking him? Love, (aims and purpose of the book), sexual union and sucks it, this is ca
—Fiending for the Forbidden Fruit Di (11/30/06) (teaching foreplay, oral sex, sexual positions), fruit’”) and comprehens
the acquisition of a wife (forms of marriage), best ass can be found (“Th

S4\\ Sex \\ 01.29.09 \\ www.thefulcrum.ca

deep, The science of smell
Pheromone research still controversial

ing look

ama Sutra
wife (specifics about the
ife), the acquisition of
are fond of foul pleasures, and have not good
manners”), the sexual union section is the un-
by Alana Sucee
Fulcrum Contributor
photo by Muse Mohammed

existed long before humans even evolved. Francke recognized

that chemical communication no longer plays an important
role in new human interaction, but that it still affects people
g acquainted with your deniable gem between the two covers. SOME MAY CRINGE at the idea that the smell of some- who know each other well. Furthermore, Gabriel and Rolf
s (trying to find a new Notably, some of the more experimental po- one’s sweat could possibly be sexy. In fact, most people are Frobose state in their book, Love and Lust: Is it More Than
cting others (learning to sitions provide different ways for partners to si- opposed to natural body odours, fighting to cover them up Chemistry?, their belief that beneath our verbal and visual
cally). multaneously gain from the sexual experience. with processed scents and falsified fragrances. Aromas have communication, we are also equipped to give off and receive
ighlighted and talked These are known as “The Penetrating Eye”, become big business. One simply has to turn on the TV, “molecular fragrance messages” that still influence our spe-
ond section, “On Sexu- “Climbing the Tree”, and “The Butterfly”. While open a magazine, or walk down the cosmetics aisle of any cies today. The debate has not subsided.
chapter, which explains accompanied by visuals—pictures are worth store to realize how widespread and marketable smelling On the other side of the argument is Dr. Stuart Firestein, a
take in stimulating oral a thousand words—the guides themselves are good has become. There are scents to fit every mood, every biologist who studies the science of smell at Columbia Uni-
esting the sexual posi- explanatory enough. season, every occasion. But as we dose our bodies in an ar- versity. In a 2005 interview with 20/20, Firestein contended
—that will provide the For example, take “suspended congress”: ray of scents, are we really just covering up our natural ani- that pheromones might not have as much influence as some
possible between both “When a man supports himself against a wall, mal scent, overriding nature’s primal cologne and dimin- people believe.
and the woman, sitting on his hands joined ishing our true sex appeal? The concept of sex pheromones “We use all sorts of cues. A pheromone alone is unlikely to
ery descriptive, and the together and held underneath her, throws her suggests that we are. do it. It’s part of a whole package,” he said.
ded in the original edi- arms round his neck, and putting her thighs According to Drs. Kohl and Francoeur’s book, The Scent of Charles Wysocki, a behavioural neuroscientist at Monell
Playboy a run for their alongside his waist, moves herself by her feet, Eros, “subliminal odours, known to scientists as pheromones, Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia, agreed with Firest-
ly the thorough guides which are touching the wall against which the are major influences on genes in nerve cells that secrete a ein.
that get you all hot and man is leaning.” hormone which regulates the sexual development and the “We can demonstrate the effects of what are putatively
adings like “Biting, and As a whole, the Kama Sutra is a revealing sexual behaviour of animals from insects to mammals, in- pheromones, but we haven’t been able to pin down the chem-
employed with regard and detailed read on the Indian belief system cluding humans.” ical identity and show this particular compound or small set
countries” and “On the of reaching erotic fulfillment, starting with Sex pheromones, specifically, are thought to be chemicals of compounds are responsible for outcome A, B and C,” he
g and of the sounds ap- the most primal needs. And for those who are emitted by an individual through sweat that are detected by said in a January interview with Live Science.
book is not for the faint looking for a deeper level of intimacy both another person. This detection is said to help in causing a How much easier it would be if we could simply let our pri-
spiritually and physically, the Kama Sutra can certain sexual response—positive or negative—from that mal scents do the talking. We wouldn’t have to stumble over
on how to go down on help you get there. Then there are those who person. But the importance of sex pheromones themselves in our words, drink to break the ice, and suffer through awk-
n the same way, he puts are just looking for tips for a good lay, which effecting initial sexual attraction is controversial. ward silences. Instead, we would simply skip a few showers
outh, and forcibly kisses the book also provides. If you follow the steps Dr. W. Francke is a researcher and professor at the Univer- and let our sweat do the rest. Sadly, until the mystery of sex
alled ‘sucking a mango and reach your maximal erotic capabilities, sity of Hamburg. According to his research on pheromones, pheromones is more clearly defined and supported by fur-
sive guide to where the you may end up finding yourself partaking in there are chemical sensors beyond our five senses that have ther research, no such primal answer can be assured.
The women of Avantika a deeply spiritual ride.

www.thefulcrum.ca // 01.29.09 // Sex // S5

 Planning ahead before bed
A quick look at
the Pill, condoms,
and menstrual cycles
by Ania Bula
Fulcrum Contributor
SCREAMING BABIES, HERPES, and that nas-
ty butt rash—sex can have consequences if you
don’t plan ahead. Understanding how the birth
control pill works, knowing that condoms are
the best way to prevent sexually transmitted in-
fections, and being familiar with the menstrual
cycle is essential before getting down and dirty.
The birth control pill is an oral contraceptive
that contains hormones that mimic pregnancy
and suppress ovulation. It has to be taken every
day at the same time to prevent pregnancy prop-
erly, and is 99.1 per cent effective. Other similar
contraceptives include the Patch (placed on the
upper torso, abdomen, or butt), which has to be
replaced once a week, and the Shot (given by a
health care provider), which is given once every
three months. One thing to keep in mind is that,
according to a 2005 Health Canada study, all
three of these contraceptives have been linked
to an increase in osteoporosis and blood clots,
and have been known to cause liver problems.
Further, consuming medications such as antibi-
otics, and alcohol can decrease the effectiveness
of all three. While highly effective at preventing
pregnancy, none of these contraceptives protect
against STIs.
Dirty word dictionary
by Tom Cruizin’
Fulcrum Contributor
ONE NIGHT YOUR lover may sweetly whisper
one of the terms below into your ear and you
won’t have a clue what it means. To save you
from awkward silence and embarrassment, the
Fulcrum has compiled a list of obscure, raunchy
sexual terms that you should get familiar with
ASAP. Please note: The Fulcrum does not con-
done dangerous acts or behaviour that involves
forgoing consent.
“Blood hound”:
A man or woman who is a fan of sex or carpet
munching when women are menstruating. This
is also known as the “Moses”, after the Biblical
figure who parted the Red Sea.
“Danza slap”:
Before Tony Danza became famous on prime-
time in Taxi, it was rumoured that he starred in
porn and was known for slapping his co-stars
in the face with his penis. He may be a D-lister
now, but the Danza Slap isn’t.
“Dirty sanchez”:
After a satisfying romp up the ass, the man pulls
out and with his dick or his hand, wipes the
discharge on his partner’s upper lip, creating a
‘moustache.’
S6\\ Sex \\ 01.22.09 \\ www.thefulcrum.ca
The best way to avoid picking up something
nasty is to use a condom. It works as a bar-
rier contraceptive, blocking the exchange of
bodily fluids. As most condoms are made of
latex, it is important that they not be used with
oil-based lubricants such as Vaseline or baby
oil because the latex will rip easily. Instead, a
condom-safe, water-based lubricant should be
used. For those allergic to latex, polyurethane
condoms are also available. Male condoms
are more commonly used and less expensive
than their female counterparts, so they are
usually the most common condom found in
students’ drawers. Remember that in addition
to the standard condom, a variety of novelty
condoms (flavoured, ribbed, and numbing, to
name a few) are also available.
Among the less commonly known contra-
ceptives is the intrauterine device, or IUD. In-
serted by a medical practitioner directly into the
uterus, it can prevent pregnancy for five to ten
years. This contraceptive, however, can make
for heavier and more painful menstruation. An-
other form of birth control is spermicide, a gel
that is inserted into the vagina before sex. Less
effective than other methods, it’s a good option
to use in conjunction with others. illustration by Maria Rondon
Finally, sexual health experts recommend
that every young woman learn about her body well as learning to detect signs of fertility such as conjunction with using condoms is the best way
and know her menstrual cycle before hopping cervical fluid consistency. Before ovulation, the to prevent against pregnancy and STIs.
into bed with a man. Using the calendar-based fluid becomes similar to egg white—clear and
rhythm method, it’s possible to predict the ex- easily spread between fingers. But remember: For more information about contraceptives and
act time at which a woman is most and least engaging in sex when you’re not ovulating isn’t STIs visit the Health Services Resource Centre in
fertile (go to epigee.org/guide/rhythm.html for a reliable method of contraception. Cycles can room 203 in the Unicentre. It is open Monday to
a comprehensive guide). The rhythm method be deregulated by stress, alcohol, certain medi- Friday, 8:30 a.m.–4:30 p.m. Free condoms are
involves keeping track of body temperature, as cations, and lack of sleep, so taking the Pill in available for students.
“Felching”:
The process of licking somebody’s ass after ejac-
ulating in it.
“Lucky Pierre”:
A man who is doing his partner up the ass while
he, himself, is getting it up the ass.
“Punching possums”:
A woman or man who has a series of one-night
stands and gets the reputation of being a dead
weight in bed.
“Puerto Rican fog bank”:
While performing 69, one of the duo lets one
rip straight into the mouth and nose of their
partner.
“Ram”:
While doing his woman doggy style, the man
proceeds to ram her head into the wall to allow
for deeper penetration. Caution: can cause in-
jury.
“Screwnicorn”:
A lesbian who puts her strap-on on her forehead
and screws her partner.
“Woody Woodpecker”:
While getting his balls sucked, the man taps his photo by Martha Pearce
cock on his partner’s head. Down to the basement, lock the cellar door, and baby, talk dirty to me.
 State-of-the-art sex toys
by Sarah Leavitt
Fulcrum Staff
SEX TOYS WERE all the rage at the 2009
Sexapalooza in Ottawa with sex stores from
across Canada displaying the best of the best
in sex. The following sex toys were some of the
fastest-selling gadgets at the trade show.
need to begin exploring the exciting world of
BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, and mas-
ochism). For a relatively low price, the kit con-
tains a blindfold, a leather paddle, a set of wrist
restraints, as well as eight feet of nylon rope. A
booklet instructs you on all the safety tips that
are necessary in BDSM, as well as how to use
each object in the kit.

Jolly Jack Smart Balls

Butt plug, $30
Butt plugs are great sex toys for both men and
women interested in anal play. Made of hypoal-
lergenic, latex-free silicone, the Jolly Jack is a
ribbed butt plug which has the added feature of
combining an anal plug with anal beads. Its long
shaft with three balls on top of each other makes
for a smooth but exciting entry, and its flared
base allows for easy control and mobility. Ideal
for butt plug virgins.
Roper
Cock ring, $9.95
Vaginal balls, $29.95
Smart Balls are marble-sized hollow balls with
weights inside that are put in the vagina for
stimulation. The balls have two great functions:
when sat on, their contours and the movement
of the weights inside the balls provide a sensa-
tional vibration for women, and because the
pelvic muscles are needed to keep them in place,
it provides a great workout. Smart Balls come
with two balls and a string to retrieve them in
case they go in too deep. These balls are great for
solo masturbation or oral sex because they won’t
get in the way of the clitoris.

This cock ring sits at the base of the penis around
the scrotum and temporarily restricts the blood
flow out of the penis. This keeps things flying
at full mast and maximizes sensation. The great
thing about this ring is that it works like a lasso,
adjusting to different sizes. No more embarrass-
ing measurements in the store. So next time you
want to be the cowboy, use the Roper. Just re-
member not to use it too long; you don’t want
something to fall off.
Get Into Bondage
BDSM starter kit, $69.95
This sex-toy starter kit includes everything you
We-Vibe
Vibrator, $129
While on the expensive side for a vibrator, the
We-Vibe is all the rage in sex-toy land. Sex stores
all across Canada were unanimous in voting this
toy as their top pick and it won “Most Innova- photo by Martha Pearce
tive Product of the Year” at the 2008 Interna- A veritable smorgasbord of apparati to augment your orgasms.
tional Venus Awards. This U-shaped silicone
toy belongs in its own category of sex toys as it the vagina, while providing that tight squeeze All these toys and more are available at various
is neither a dildo nor a vibrator. Worn by the that everybody loves. Because of its shape, the sex stores around Ottawa. They include: Venus
woman during sex, this toy fits nicely into the We-Vibe requires no hands and its sleek look Envy (320 Lisgar St.), Classixxx Adult Store
vagina while its two prongs vibrate to stimulate
the clitoris and the G-spot simultaneously. It is
won’t upset your grandma when she finds it in
your room. Fun fact: the We-Vibe was created
(1724 Bank St.), and The Adult Fun Superstore
(1565 St. Laurent Blvd.).
small enough that a penis can still fit nicely into by an engineer from Ottawa!

Whore-o-scopes
Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)
You might utter the words, “You’ve been a bad bus driver”
over the course of the next week. Oh, the strike will still
be on, but you might as well get dressed up and let some
of that frustration out on your significant other. Bring bus
tickets, if you know what I mean.
Gemini (May 21–June 20)
You start a competitive sex league. As league commission-
er and team captain, tryout weekend is fuckin’ fantastic.
You die a happy man or woman at the end of the season,
when you are assassinated by the NFL for blatant and hi-
larious copyright infringement.
Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)
Ninety per cent of the postings for sex on craigslist are
fake. Five per cent are just gross. Three per cent are too
far away, and 1.5 per cent involve robots. But that magi-
cal 0.5 per cent left over comes from some of the most
incredible shuffle boarders you’ve ever seen. Fuck them.

Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)
There are three components to a happy relationship:
trust, communication, and my wonderful invention, the
UpUrBum. It does exactly what you think, no matter what
you’re thinking. Pick one up at the Fulcrum office for
$39.95.
Aries (March 21–April 19)
No one ever told you the difference between the white
pages and the yellow pages. Luckily, Gary T. Sexstore
knows exactly what you like.
Cancer (June 21–July 22)
Did you know that despite its name, the Corsican Hare is
not native to Corsica and is rarely found on this Mediter-
ranean island today? One day, this fact will get you laid.
Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)
You spend the whole day searching for Trudeau’s gold,
hidden under the centre block of Parliament. Little did
you know this ‘gold’ was the location of Ottawa’s best
strip club, in the bowels of the Peace Tower, operating ev-
ery Wednesday night from 10–11 p.m.
Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)
Monkey knife fights are not an appropriate way to decide
who has to be the wingman at the bar later in the evening.
Those monkeys have feelings, just like you. You won’t like
it when they make you fight.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)
In anticipation of a hot date later in the week, you shave
your whole body. You never realized the world was so
itchy and judgmental. But luckily, your date did the same
thing. Find some oil and have a slippery blast.

Taurus (April 20–May 20) Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22) Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)
You start a blog chronicling your sex life. It’s like Sex and Your friends told you not to eat anything out of your girl- You invented a new sexual position: the pencil sharpener.
the City, except the ‘city’ is Ottawa. And what people friend’s ass. Now you’ve got superpowers. Way to go, I’ll let you visualize that for a moment. Yup, it’s just fuckin’.
told you was ‘sex’ was actually chronic masturbation. It jerk. You put your book on hold.
doesn’t get as many hits as you thought it would.
illustrations by Samnang Touch

www.thefulcrum.ca // 01.29.09 // Sex// S7

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