The Craft of Writing

C1998, rev., Macedon Having been blessed to enjoy the friendship of many fellow writers, published and unpublished, I've been party to many conversations on the art and craft of writing. I've also occasionally been as ed to critique stories. So I colle cted some of the things I've learned over the years into a short essay. Then ( somewhat arrogantly, I admit!) I decided to put it up on my web page in case ot hers might be interested. (Further lin s to writers' resources are at the page bottom.) Those who write purely for their own and others' entertainment, or aren't int erested in critical feedbac or going pro--bail now. Please note: there's not hing wrong with eschewing critical feedbac . Ultimately, to entertain is the goal of ALL writers, even Pulitzer winners. In writing fiction (fanfic or ori ginal) the writer attempts to touch the capacity of the heart. Stories which f ail to do so are meaningless, no matter how stylistically artistic. Myself, I prefer stories which have heart and are well written. The better written th e story, the more effective it is at entertaining readers and conveying any the mes or points the author may wish to convey. So studying the craft of writing is not elitist, but very, very pragmatic. What follows is commentary on various technical aspects of writing: the nuts and bolts of narrative. Only 10% of writing is talent (maybe less), another 3 0% is having something interesting to say. The rest is being able to say it we ll. Talent and content amount to little without s ill, and s ill is what we learn. So yes, Virginia, you can learn to write (more) creatively. To be fran , the best way to learn is to find a mentor who will teach and do that tedious--but very necessary--tas of detailed critique on a hardcopy manusc ript. Writing, li e bread-ba ing, is fundamentally existential: a hands-on experience. But not everyone is luc y enough to find a writing mentor, so general scatter -shot advice does have some value, particularly concerning those things which a re frequent technical offenses among beginning and intermediate writers. So, how can one now if he or she is guilty of ____? I have found that as s oon as a particular problem was pointed out to me, I could recognize it in my w or . I simply hadn't realized it was a problem before that point, and so had failed to 'see' it. If you thin you're guilty of ____, you probably are. ( If however, you thin you're guilty of everything, you're probably just paranoi d!) Finally, these are rules of thumb, not absolutes. Some of of debate even among award-winning authors. Ultimately, the n writing is, "Can you ma e it wor ?" If you can ma e it wor way with it. But some people thin they can get away with what they can't,

or, Yes,

Virginia, It's a Learned S ill

them are matters only real rule i , you can get a too. "That's

just my style" isn't a valid excuse for bad writing. There's a big difference between style and technical proficiency. e. e. cummings didn't capitalize an ything, but when you write poetry li e cummings, you can do whatever the hell you want, too. The people who play fast and loose with the rules are usually those experienced, s illed authors who ept those same rules until they learned their art. Most of us are not Carson McCullers, to pen a classic at the tend er age of twenty one. So, on with the show... WRITING BASICS 1) DIALOGUE TAGS: The Dreaded Said-Boo ism and other Strained Prose, or, G et Rid of those Damned Adverbs! At some point in every wannabe writer's career, he or she had someone--in a n effort to expunge the overuse of certain common descriptors li e 'really good' --say, "Hey! Vary your word choice and go buy a good thesaurus, id!" It's generally sound advice based on the theory of choosing the best word, not just any word. But it becomes problematic when ta en to the extreme found among some beginning writers, particularly regarding substitutions for 'said.' In an effort to avoid 'said,' the aspiring author tries a variety of other di alogue tags: quip, growl, express, utter, expound, cry, declare, observe ... etc. ad nauseam. The dreaded said-boo ism. In short, the aspiring aut hor has opened that newly-bought thesaurus, loo ed up 'say' or 'statement' and then started employing all the choices therein. Don't do this! It's not artistic. onally outright funny. It's annoying, distracting and occasi

Simple fact: with use, 'said' is a transparent word. When a writer emplo ys a substitute, it's loud--i. e. really noticeable. So don't have your cha racters 'growl' their comments unless they really are growling them and you want to call specific attention to that fact. And the word 'quipped' should appear perhaps twice in a 1000-page novel, otherwise the guilty author should be ta e n out and shot. Dialogue tags can be divided into three basic types: nonexistent, soft, a nd hard. The best of these is nonexistent, allowing the dialogue to stand fre e and clear of narrator intervention (which in turn allows the reader to hear th e dialogue more purely). In two-person dialogue, one can sometimes go for half a page or more without the need for any "he said/she said" tag. With multiple-spea er c onversation, that's harder and tags more necessary. Rule of thumb: be unobtr usive. Sometimes action can substitute for he said/she said. As yourself, Do I really need a tag at all?

Soft dialogue tags occasionally) pointed sparent to the reader: notations -- they draw no tags at all.

include: said, out, and remar that is, they no attention to

as ed, told, replied, answered, (and ed. These are soft because they're tran carry no visual or audio sense and no con themselves and are the next best thing to

Hard dialogue tags are basically anything else. That is, words which conv ey a sense of how the spea er is spea ing (cry, growl, snarl, quip, laugh, huff, etc.). They also include uncommon synonyms for said li e declare, expo und, utter. These words are li e pepper--best used sparingly. It isn't neces sary to describe how the spea er is spea ing all the time. One may as well sho ut all the time: it loses its impact. The overuse of strong tags comes out as aw ward--even amusing--not descriptive. Don't be the little writer who cried wolf! Another frequent fault of beginners is not use of the said-boo ism directly, but the overuse of adverbs in conjunction with said, especially -ly adverbs. Don't do this, either. Li e hard dialogue tags, adverbs should be used sparingly. If you notice one quarter or more of your dialogue tags include an adverb... that's too damne d many! First, it's not necessary to describe how the spea er is spea ing eve ry time (as I said just above). Second, adverbs distract from the dialogue it self. Remember, transparent is best except in those cases where one wants to draw attention to the how. So, you fear you may be guilty of the dreaded said-boo ism, what do you do First, go through your manuscript and convert every dialogue tag to 'said.' (I'm serious--every tag.) Then go bac over your manuscript to see where yo u can eliminate a tag entirely, or where another word really is necessary. Some times the only change needed is another soft tag, li e as ed instead of said. Save the hard tags for those places where you need them. ? 2) CHARACTER NAMES AND DESCRIPTORS: Pic One and Stic With It. Li e the word 'said,' characters' names become transparent. And as with s aid-boo isms, there are always beginning writers who thin they need half a doz en synonym-descriptors to substitute for characters' names in order to be artist ic. It's not artistic. It's confusing. I've read scenes of dialogue between two c haracters where it sounded li e six people tal ing! ...all because the writer ept subbing "the tall boy," or "the red-haired pilot" or god- nows-what instea d of the name. Unless one needs to use a name three times in the same sentence, ne ver use a substitute just to use the substitute. As I said, character names b ecome transparent. Li e adverbs and hard dialogue tags, the use of a descript ive synonym in place of the name draws attention to it. So unless you mean to draw att ention to it, don't do it. For instance, in the following case, the use of a descriptive synonym adds punch: "Philippos' affairs never last beyond a season," Leonnatos said. "True--fidelity isn't the ing's strong point." "Maybe it should be," said the ing's son, stepping out from behind a hed ge of boxwood. A writer often does need at least one synonym for a character besides the pr onoun he or she. So pic one and use it consistently: don't invent ten. Or even three. Occasionally, one might need a second, but it should be fairly generic: the

boy, the man, etc. Too many and it gets confusing as to just who is who! (For some reason, poor Paris in Voyager fanfic is particularly subject to too many descriptors. I've seen--in the same story--"the pilot," "the tall man," "the blond young man," "the lieutenant," "the coc y young lieutenant," etc. Um... just how many people are we tal ing about here?) 3) VIVID LANGUAGE: Chose the Best Noun or Verb, or, Get Rid of Those Damne d Adverbs, Ta e II. When we write, we convey a mental picture to the reader. Thus, and to th at end, the more vivid our language, the better. But truly vivid language is not achieved by the use and abuse of adjectives and adverbs. It's achieved by the choice of the precise noun or verb and by the level of detail. For instance, "he raced" is always better than "he ran quic ly." Attachin g adjectives and adverbs wea ens the noun or verb: these are called 'qualifiers ,' and they're best avoided. So for this endeavor, get out that thesaurus an d stretch that vocabulary. A writer's most precious tool is not good characterizatio n, good dialogue, good plot--it's a strong, diverse vocabulary. Without the vocabulary, none of the rest is possible. I once sat down with John Crowley's Aegypt, to study what he was doing. ( Don't now Crowley? He's arguably the best stylist writing fantasy today.) I did a word count on adverbs and adjectives. In a ten-line descriptive paragra ph, he averaged only three adjectives and one adverb. Yeah, really. Yet these are some of the most vivid descriptions I now of in prose. He achieved it all with the right noun or verb. He also achieved it by his attention to detail, and not just any detail but those details which ma e description live. For instance, in one brief scene where he describes a hot evening in summer, he spea s of a fire hydrant left to gush water into the street. Instead of saying it was full of "garbage" or "fl otsam," he pic s out three items from that garbage, and unusual items at that (a condom is one). The reader can, therefore, see it. Or let's ta e an example from A. S. Byatt's recent collection of modern fa irytales (The Djinn in the Nightingale's Eye): "Once upon a time, when men and women hurtled through the air on metal wi ngs, when they wore webbed feet and wal ed on the bottom of the sea, learning the speech of whales and the songs of the dolphins, when pearly-fleshed and jew elled apparitions of Texan herdsmen and houris shimmered in the dus on Nicaragu an hillsides, when fol in Norway and Tasmania in dead of winter could dream of fresh strawberries, dates, guavas and passion fruits and find them spread nex t morning on their tables, there was a woman who was largely irrelevant, and therefor e happy." What a collection of things to characterize the modern world! It's lovely-and very, very vivid. (And if that opener doesn't ma e someone want to read the story, they're dead to language.) Notice that she doesn't say "fresh frui

t," she tells you WHAT fresh fruit. More, she doesn't pic out just any ol' fresh fruit to name, but chooses those which further the point/picture. If she'd put "ap ples, grapes and pears," it would lose a lot, no? A sub point to this cry for linguistic vividness concerns descriptions of ch aracters and sex. I've read stories with great place description but lousy sex scenes or dull characters. Place description is among the easier things about which to be original. Sex is perhaps the hardest because it's too easy to fall into cl iched phrases. If I read one more "He devoured her mouth" I'm going to go bay at the moon. I don't now about y'all, but I have yet to "devour" anybody's m outh--and no, I wouldn't call my sex life dull. When I read about devouring mouths, I always wanna as , "Does he li e etchup or mustard with that?" (O ay, so I'm an iconoclast; what can I say?) Beware not only of cliches, but of unint entionally funny cliches. As for characters, it's too easy for authors to get lazy and fall into what I thin of as "driver's license descriptions": height, eye color, hair color . Some of the best character descriptions I've seen employ none (or only one) of those. Don't tell us a character's height unless they're unusual in some way: very short or very tall. Six feet is a tallish man, it's not a tall man. Now, J a e Sis o is tall; it's worth noting. So is Hercules, so is Xena for a woman, so is Jadzia Dax. But Fox Mulder and Cha otay are not exceptionally so--why ment ion it? Pic something else. Avoid overstatement. And if inventing one's o wn characters, please don't ma e them all tall (or all short). I recall one d elightful fanfic story which described a character as not-quite-tall, not-quite-blond e and not-quite-pretty. What a terrific description! The same is true of hair and eye color. Unless it's unusual, don't bother with it. Descriptions of people should pic out those features which are dist inctive. A cleft in the chin and no earlobes is better for descriptive purpose s than brown hair and eyes. Mention the interesting things. (Also mention of one will sometimes allow the reader to assume the other: if a character has brown eyes, more than li ely the hair will be some shade of brown, too. If the hair is blond, more than li ely, the eyes will be some shade of blue or grey; if the eyes are brown or hazel--li e Callisto from Xena--then it's worth mentioning.) 4) SENTENCE LENGTH: Short Ma es the Breath Race A general rule of thumb: if one is writing action, go for shorter sentence s. Run-on sentences do NOT convey a sense of breathlessness, they convey a se nse of confusion for the poor reader who is trying to eep trac of what the hel l is going on. If one is engaged in introspection, one can get away with longer sent ences. Part of the reason for this is that longer sentences require more thoug ht on the part of the reader. Thus, shorter sentences are both more immediate , and have greater emotional impact. (Curtin's Law)

Now, here we do get into a bit of disagreement about style. Some people w rite short. I do. But some write longer. A. S. Byatt, for instance. T he quote used above is both a single sentence and the whole damn first paragraph . But Byatt is good. She can get away with it. It's not a run-on sentence... and th at's the ey. Some writers write run-on sentences and excuse it with "that's j ust my style." Uh--and just how many "and"s and "but"s have you got in there? Put simply, the longer the sentence, the better the writer had better be o r it becomes confusing and unreadable. Ideally, sentence length and grammar s hould vary. If all your sentences are short and all begin with a subject--"He wal ed to the store and saw a blue car"--it's boring. Try, "Wal ing to the store, he s aw a blue car." Or maybe, "On the way to the local Giant supermar et, he spo tted a screaming-blue corvette careening along at speeds that would earn the dri ver a traffic tic et in triple digits." Variety is the spice of life (and of good prose). 5) POINT OF VIEW: First, Third-Limited and Third-Omniscient, or, The Poin t of View Character Can't See Himself! Understanding the use--and abuse--of point of view is critical to penning re adable narrative. Most writers understand the difference between first and thi rd person. One uses 'I,' the other, 'he' and 'she.' But sorting out the tw o types of third person can be more tric y. First Person is simultaneously the easiest and most difficult point of view to use. It's the easiest because the writer has no trouble staying in the head of the POV (point of view) character. But it's the most difficult to use well --with nuances. John Irving is a master of first person, so is James Kir wood, and Charolette Bront. By nuances, I mean can the author convey to the reader t he biases of the narrator even while stuc in the narrator's head? Third Person comes in two flavors: Third Limited and Third Omniscient. Th e difference is where the reader is "placed" in the story. With third omniscie nt, the reader stands beside an impersonal, third-person narrator who plays Go d and can see into the heads and hearts of all the characters. It's hard to do well. W ith third limited, the narrator is in the head of one of the characters in the story. It's not as close a point of view as first, but it's far more intimate than third omniscient. It's also the most common point of view employed in fiction, particularly in genre fiction (and fanfic). All of these POVs have certain advantages and disadvantages. The writer ha s to ma e a choice as to which one will best accomplish what the writer wishes t o do. Often we ma e that choice unconsciously: we just sit down and start wri ting and automatically fall into one. The problem arises with the two third person POVs, as some writers try to h ave their ca e and eat it, too. That is, they wish the freedom of third omni

scient with the intimacy of third limited... and wind up with a mess. Frequen tly, the writer isn't even aware of what's happening. Even published authors commit this sin. That doesn't ma e it o ay. It's a problem, plain and simple--in my not-so-humble opinion. Pic third limited or third omniscient and stic wit h it. The author must learn to place the camera (if you will) for the reader. So let's ta e a loo at what each placement permits, and what limitations it impo ses: A) First: First person is, obviously, a great choice to allow the reader intimate n owledge of the thoughts and feelings of the main protagonist. It also permits longish internal monologues, as well as retrospective and forespective comments , such as: "I didn't now then..." or "When I was seven, I... but as an adult..." I t does require a strong narrator's voice or it descends into mundanity, li e re ading the average grunt's diary. Boring. But it does not allow similar intimacy with other characters. We only and always see people and events through the narrator, and are subject to all the n arrator's biases. If the author wishes the reader to realize that the narrator doesn't see a particular character fairly or completely, it can be a tric to let the r eader in on this. In other words, a good first person writer can avoid mergin g the 'truth' with what the narrator thin s, allowing the reader enough distanc e from the narrator to see that truth--even while maintaining the intimacy and empathy of first. Quite a feat, no? B) Third Omniscient: I thin of this one as the master's POV because it's so damn hard to do well ... and tiring, too. It's hard because it requires the writer to be able to ma e profound commentary on the human condition without sounding either pompous or obnoxious. Li e first POV, it also requires a strong and distinctive narr ative voice. In first, one is a character in the story itself, in third omni scient, one is an external observer... but both are narrating the story and so are therefore free to comment on characters, events, action, etc. What thir d omniscient permits which none of the others does is free access into the thoug hts and motivations of all the characters, and awareness of all events and acti on. But it doesn't allow the intimacy of either first or third limited. The un seen, omniscient narrator stands between the reader and the characters, mediat ing perceptions. It's got a bit of a patronizing tone which some writers (and readers) disli e. After all, the narrator is playing God, telling the reader what he or she ought to thin about the characters and action. This type of POV is particularly valuable for stories which are heavy on cha racters and theme, those that "say something." One wouldn't ordinarily choose

it for a PWP (plot? what plot?) romp unless engaged in mannerpun . (And I'm not sure I'd consign mannerpun to PWP romps, as it usually has a stylistic goal, if no t a thematic goal. So, you as , What the hell is mannerpun ? Read Emma Bul l and Steven Brust's recent SF collaboration, Teresa Edgerton's Goblin Moon, o r anything by Ellen Kushner.) To ma e third omniscient wor , one has to have something profound to say ab out the human condition. Otherwise, it's trite, pompous or just plain dull. C) Third Limited: This is a happy medium between the other two POVs, allowing a little of bot h--but it does carry certain limitations. In third limited, the reader is put in the heads of characters to see events from their points of view. Thus, it has some of the intimacy of first. But because a little more distance is maintained vi a the use of "s/he" instead of "I," the reader may be permitted into the heads o f a couple of characters instead of only one, thus allowing the greater awarene ss of events that one gets with third omniscient. BUT in order for it to wor and not bleed into (bad) third omniscient, a li ttle more rigidness is required. First, the writer must eep in mind that the POV character (whoever it is) cannot see him or herself. I can't say how many boo s and/or stories I've read where we're supposedly in the head of X character only to have the writer drop out of that character's head in order to give a description of what the character loo s li e: "Her wispy red hair streamed out behind her. .." Ouch. How does she now what her hair is doing? She can only describe herself if she's loo ing in a mirror or other reflective surface. Yes, there are publis hed authors who do this. I still personally consider it bad, lazy writing. Third limited wor s best if there is only one POV character per scene. The author should avoid hopping heads within scenes. If he or she does, the resu lt is "POV ping pong" which ma es the reader dizzy trying to eep trac of whose head one's in now. Certainly the writer should avoid doing it within paragraphs. Ma e it easy on the poor reader--pic a single person's POV and stic with it. "But I really, really wanna show a scene from both character's points of vi ew!" This is where the choice comes in, my friend. The writer must ma e a deci sion: is it third limited he or she wants, or third omniscient? Also conside r, does this scene really need to be seen from two points of view, or do you j ust thin it does? Let it be a challenge to write it from only one point of view. It is possible to change heads within a single scene, if handled well, but the pr ivilege shouldn't be abused. Some tips:

a) Change only once, or at most, twice. ert the reader that a change has been made.

Add a few lines of "brea " to al

b) Or settle on a very distant 3rd limited POV. This is hard to do, but s ome manage. For example, ta e a loo at SF author Kit (Katherine) Kerr's fict ion. Most of Kit's wor hovers somewhere between third limited and third omnis cient. Another example is historical novelist Mary Renault. Renault changes heads a little more often than Kerr does, and for the most part, she manages to pul l it off without confusing the reader as to the "he." But even so, I do still occasionally get thrown when reading her wor and have to stop, go bac and re-read the paragraph to be sure whose head I'm in. You don't want to ma e your reader have to stop to re-read! That's the real reason for pic ing one head and staying in it for the whole scene. I'm not trotting out rules for the sa e of having rules; there's a poin t behind them. It's o ay to as the reader to wor a little, but if your writ ing causes the reader to have to stop and re-read on a regular basis, at some point th e reader will just stop reading, period. 6) INTERRUPTED DIALOGUES: or, I Don't Want to Hear Every Thought a Characte r Has while Tal ing to Someone Else. How much internal thought/description occurs during dialogue is somewhat a m atter of personal preference and style. Some writers do a lot, some do very l ittle. I happen to prefer less... But too much is too much! What is "inter rupted dialogue"? It's dialogue which is interrupted for a few lines or paragraph s of internal observation/thought from a character. But it also includes one-l iners meant to wor as action dialogue tags: He raised his hand. "Yada, yada, yada..." "Yada, yada, yada." She thought he loo ed sad and sighed. "Yada, yada, yada." He wal ed away. Yeow! We don't need these interrupting descriptions of mundane (and not ve ry illuminating) actions on the parts of the spea ers. So, unless a gesture o r action gives meaning to the conversation (showing, say, increasing alarm), or is necessary to facilitate the plot (one needs to get X character over near the window so the sniper in the building across the street can get a bead on her).. . eliminate the one-liner deadwood. It ain't description, it's fluff. Fill er. The reader really doesn't need to now every gesture the characters are ma ing. (Oh, on that topic--try some different gestures. All writers can be guilt y of falling into ruts: nodding heads, ta ing a step up, bac , turning aroun d, etc. How about putting hands behind the head? Scratching the bridge of a nose? Crac ing nuc les? Twitching a foot? Be... well... creative.) My reason for warning against interrupted dialogue--whether with lots of one -liners or extended bouts of internal thought--is that it's easy for the reader to lose trac of the conversation. This is not a good thing. When using inte rnal thought, I find it best to aid the reader:

A) by alternating sections of dialogue with descriptions. Have several lin es of uninterrupted dialogue, then intersperse description or internal thought. Don't do tal -thin -tal -thin -tal . That's hard to follow. B) by repeating part of the previous statement if a long paragraph (or sever al paragraphs) of thought or description has intervened. This is particularly important if the spea er is answering a question. "What do you thin , Jim?" ... [long extended meditation on what Jim thin s]... "I thin we should..." No, we don't do that in real conversation. But a writer doesn't write 'real' conve rsation. If we did, it'd be dull, confusing and full of "um, ah, hmmm," a nd run-on sentences. So cut the reader some slac .

While interrupted dialogue ma es conversations difficult for a reader to fol low, don't be guilty of the other extreme: "tal ing heads." Yes, conversatio n should stand clear and clean, but it's a story, not a screenplay. Sometime s you will need to insert taglines, action, imagery, or commentary into a conversati on in order to give it depth. The ey here is twofold, as noted above: not to confuse the reader by addi ng too much and thereby cutting up dialogue so that it becomes difficult to foll ow; but also not to add unneccessary commentary, images, taglines and actions . How does one now what's unnecessary? As oneself a couple of questions: How does this comment/action further the readers' grasp of the conversation dynamics, or the reader's grasp of characterization itself? If you present a character as habitually pacing when nervous, or have one who scratches the bridge of his nose when he's feeling shy or uncomfortable, that's a subtle clue--and it's not unncessar y, is it? But don't join every exchange in a conversation with some action on the part of the spea er as a substitute tagline, or under the misguided notion that the reader has to "see" everything the characters are doing. The reader doesn't. Keep it balanced. Or, as Apollo would say, "Moderation in all things." 8) SHOW, DON'T TELL This is a cardinal rule of writing, and what ma es creative writing differe nt from most other forms of writing, such as journalism, essays, technical wr iting, et cetera. Some new authors understand it instinctively, others--part icularly those who thin linearly, or have been trained in scientific or other forms of logical thin ing--don't. How does this manifest itself in actual fiction writing? By telling us fac ts about your characters--what we call 'expository lumps'--rather than showing u s these things. Yes, it ta es longer, but the show is what ma es fiction int eresting. There are two basic ways to show: either through dialogue, or by creating a scene in which the information is revealed. If you want to convey that your character is impulsive, ma e a scene in which s/he acts impulsively. Don't ju st tell us

7) TALKING HEADS: The syndrome, not the roc

group.

that fact. Why should we believe you? If you want to pass certain inform ation on to your readers, do it in a conversation if possible, not by just dum ping it straight into narrative. Yes, there are times when telling is to be preferred to showing, particula rly when a story is already in danger of being too long and the information give n is somewhat peripheral to the main plot so that showing it would introduce unn ecessary tangents. But I've seen far too many stories which read more li e plot syn opses than story. The author drops in to tell the reader what the characters l oo li e, what their personality is li e, and any and all bac ground informati on the author thin s the reader should now. That's not a story: it's a profile. One does not need to describe one's characters in detail upon the first meeting. O ne does not need to inform the reader about the character's childhood and what s he had for dinner last night. In short, one does not need to hand out potted charact erizations. Show these things. Give me a scene, not a summary. [Exception: If one happens to be writing third omniscient, such commentary is the name of the game. But what ma es it wor is the vividness (and occasio nally the quir iness) of the narrative voice. Remember not to confuse what one can get away with in third omniscient with what wor s in third limited.] 9) WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW Write what you now or research li e hell because there will be someone read ing your story who's an expert on whatever subject you choose to explore. That pretty much says it all. If you tac le a subject about which you now nothing --or only enough to get you in trouble--you'll just wind up loo ing li e a fool. No, this doesn't mean writers can only write semi-autobiography. What it does mean is that if you've never been to Las Vegas, don't choose it for your s tory's main setting. If you now nothing about fly fishing, don't ma e it you r protag's favorite hobby. Or go tal to someone who does now about fly-fishing. R ead a few boo s. Do your homewor . Or--hitting closer to home--if you're not an Indian, have never met an Indian and now squat about Indians, don't pic Cha otay for your main point of view character or dwell on his Indian-ness. If you're w riting Scully and are not a medical doctor, nurse, or other medical personnel, or don't wor in a hospital, try to avoid medical jargon because you'll almos t certainly get it wrong. Finally, if you're going to ta e on a controversial or emotionally-laden to pic, dear god, now what you're tal ing about. Don't romanticize trauma or u se it as a springboard to get character A together with character B. Don't ass ume people get over rape, incest and other such traumatic situations overnight or as a result of a couple coversations full of potted psychobabble. And please, ple ase don't fall into the plot cliche of "fuc ing her all better." These are not topics to be employed for emotional chain-yan ing. That's not only lazy writing, it's insensitive and irresponsible writing.

In general, now your limits. Don't be the lazy author who decides to win g it on a prayer and a remembered conversation between your father and an uncle when you were seven. A little nowledge is a dangerous thing. 10) LESS IS MORE This is a point on which not all authors agree, but enough do agree that it 's become a maxim. Don't go for over ill; remember that a point or feeling ca n be conveyed more powerfully by understatement than by banging the reader over the head with it. Simplicity is classy. (Give me a woman in simple blac velvet over s par les and spangles any day.) Or, as I heard one author put is once: "'Jesu s wept' carries a hell of a lot more punch than 'Jesus threw himself on the grou nd, ic ing and screaming.'" Related to this is nowing when to enter a scene and when to end it. Frequ ently, authors enter scenes too early, or let them run too long. As author J oy Anderson once said jo ingly, "Write your first boo chapter to get you going , then toss it in the trash." That may be overstating the case a little, but she has a point. When editing your wor , learn how to cut your material, particularl y to excise the unnecessary. Bigger is not necessarily better. Are you overt elling? Do your scenes start too soon, end too late? These are questions to eep in the bac of your mind as you edit. 11) BEGINNINGS SET THE TONE How and where you begin a boo or story will set the tone for the entire thi ng. Give it a lot of thought. You have to catch your readers in that first f ew sentences or paragraphs. This is called the "hoo ." They won't give you m ore than that, not when there're a ton of other boo s (or other pieces of fanfic) to choose from. That doesn't mean you have to start with exploding buildings or murder or hints of deep dar secrets in the main character's past. But do thin some about how to set your hoo s, so you can reel in that reader and eep him or her f ollowing you for the rest of the story. Expository lumps are not the way to op en your narrative. Consider the opening lines of these award winning authors/n ovels: "124 was spiteful. Full of baby venom." Toni Morrison, Beloved (novel/mystery/horror) "I've watched through his eyes, I've listened through his ears, and I te ll you, he's the one. Or at least, as close as we're going to get." Orson Scott Card, Ender's Game (SF) "The child was wa ened by the notting of the sna e's coil about his waist ." Mary Renault, Fire From Heaven (historical) "'I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father I have

sinned against heaven and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.' These were not perhaps the actual words which Edward Baltram uttered to himself on the occasion of his momentous and mysterious summons, yet their echo was not absent even then, and later he repeated them often." Iris Murdoch, The Good Apprentice (novel) "At the beginning of the summer I had lunch with my father, the gangster, who was in town for the wee end to transact some of his vague business." Michael Chabon, The Mysteries of Pittsburg (novel) "The snow in the mountains was melting and Bunny had been dead for several wee s before we came to understand the gravity of our situation." Donna Tartt, The Secret History (murder mystery) 12) FORESHADOW, FORESHADOW!, or, How Do You Get There from Here? When plotting a story, be sure to avoid unexpected, and illogical, plot t wists. This means that one has to give a modicum of thought to one's story arc . If you plan to ma e a revelation in your story, or ta e it in an unexpected direction, foreshadow. Good foreshadowing is an art. (Ever read Asimov's Foundation Trilogy? Brilliant foreshadowing.) Avoid the Big Neon Hint--the sort any fo ol can spot a mile off. Sometimes this type of foreshadowing is fine, but not if one is aiming for surprise. (Much depends on a writer's goal.) Of course, the opposite extreme is no better: the sudden abrupt plot shift which is so unexpec ted that it rudely tosses the reader out of the story world onto his ass. The best foreshadowing is the ind that, when the truth is finally revealed, causes the reader to say, "Ah, of course... but I never saw it coming!" This goes not just for events, but for character traits as well. Don't ha ve your characters respond to situations in unpredictable ways which don't mesh with anything we've seen from them before--or anything we might expect from what we have previously seen. If they're original characters, yes of course they're yo urs to do with as you please... but that doesn't mean anything goes. Keep you r characters consistent. In fact, you must eep characters more consistent th an people are in real life because there is less room for complexity in stories. I'm all for complex characters, but it is possible to ma e them so complex that you lo se your readers. As for borrowed characters, I thin it goes without saying t hat you can't ta e them too far from how they've been shown on the screen or you've simply created your own character and wrapped an actor's loo s around him/her. (See below under "Comments Specific to Fanfic.") Finally, a related point: if you plan to hint at deep dar secrets in the pasts of your characters, be sure they're not cliches. If I read One More Inc est Story, I may hurl. As a former counsellor, I firmly believe that this is a matter which should be spo en about openly and brought to public attention. But a s a writer, I recognize that it's become a plot cliche. Twenty years ago--eve n ten years ago--it was shoc ing. Now, it's blas because it's been done to dea th. (See above under "Write What You Know" for warnings against emotional chain-yan i

ng, too.) To avoid writing a cliche requires both extraordinary realism and e xtraordinary empathy, not to mention a unique angle. But really--there are ot her interesting things to write about. 13) DON'T USE DIALECT, or, O. Henry You Ain't Very, very, very few writers can pull off dialect. It's better to assume you aren't one of them. Don't give Scotty a brogue, or Che ov a Russian acce nt, by deliberate misspellings and unfamiliar contractions. It's not convinci ng, it is difficult to read, and fran ly, it stri es as ridiculous. Instead convey distinctive spea ing styles by grammar. This means developing a really good e ar for language. For an example of an author who does this particularly well, ta e a gander at the writing of Clyde Edgerton (Wal ing Across Egypt, Rainey). H e conveys a perfect western North Carolina accent without misspelling much of an ything--all by the grammar the characters use. And by grammar, I don't necess arily mean bad grammar. For instance, the combination "might should" is something yo u rarely hear in New Yor City, but you're very li ely to hear it in Macon, Ge orgia. Li ewise with "gotten," and "drug" (the 'past tense' of drag, not a p harmaceutical item). These are southernisms. Li ewise, you won't hear many Americans say "we're getting up a party," or "I'm great for you," but you're li ely to h ear an Irish woman say that. So listen for distinctive speech patterns and use these to convey dialect--don't use lots of contractions (goin' instead of going) or b ad grammar to denote rural or linguistically unsophisticated characters, and do n't, please, please don't use misspellings to convey dialect. It's unreadabl e. [A few exceptions which are commonly seen enough to use: ain't, gonna, wa nna, y'all, 'tis, 'cept, ol' and a few more. But use these with care.] 14) AVOID DEUS EX MACHINA, or, Euripides You Ain't, either What is deus ex machina? In Latin, it means "the god from the machine" an d relates to ancient Gree theater, but what it really means in modern usage is to ta e the easy way out at the end. That is, such quic -fixes as "it was al l a dream" (or a holodec adventure) which results in automatic rewind, or inserting a "miracle rescue" or "miracle medicine moment." Yes, TV shows are guilty of d eus ex machina all the time. That's not an excuse; that's bad plotting. Be brave and permit actions to have consequences. Euripides used deus ex machina in ord er to ma e fun of the Gree tendency to anthropomorphize their gods. But lazy writers use it to get themselves out of a plot pic le, to ma e a story end the way they want it to--not the way the course of action demands, or because they're too laz y to thin out a more complex solution. Another ind of deux ex machina, or at least unbelievable manipulation on t he part of the author, is the illogical situation or conversation--especially w hen its sole function is to drive apart (or drive together) the hero and heroine (or hero and hero, as the case may be). Please. Assume that your readers have some c ommon sense--and that your characters do as well. People may say and do stupid

things, but they often recognize they're stupid even while doing them, or rec ognize it shortly thereafter. And there are limits. (Stories aimed at romantic ent anglements are by far the worse offenders in this category.) Don't allow yours elf to be swept up in your own emotional tidalwave. Thin about what your char acters are doing, or saying. Is it improbable enough to ma e a James Bond movie loo li e real life? COMMENTS SPECIFIC TO FANFIC: 1) Please don't open a fanfic story with the full name and title of a serie s regular. This is one way fanfic is not li e original fiction. Ain't li ely to be anybody reading your Voyager story who doesn't already now that Paris is Lieutenant Thomas Eugene Paris, pilot for Voyager. Or, if you're into the X-files, don't start your first (or even second) sentence with "Special Agent Dana Kathe rine Scully..." We now her name and title, than you. For fanfiction to in troduce characters in such a fashion is both unnecessary and annoying. A writer of fanfic can assume a certain level of nowledge on the part of re aders which a writer of original fiction can't; ta e advantage of it. Assume i n your readership the same basic familiarity with facts that the show's script w riters assume for their episodes. They don't introduce every DS9 episode with a Sis o's full name and ran ! Same goes for semi-regulars li e Du at or Nog, or (for th e X-Files) S inner or Margaret Scully. The exception, of course, is if one b rings bac a guest star from one or two episodes. Then one might remind the readers who this person is: _____, Worf's adopted father. (See, I can't even remember his name!) I'm not against incorporating the information somewhere in the story, but p lease: not in the first paragraph. And try to find a creative way to do it. Instead of beginning "James T. Kir , captain of the USS Enterprise was wal ing along the corridor," Try: "Captain!" It was Spoc 's voice. Kir stopped his prog ress down the hall outside sic bay and turned. [Exception: if posting a crossover, you might need to include more informa tion, depending on where you're publishing it. Should you write a Star Tre -A vengers crossover and post it to alt.startre .creative, you should include more information about the Avengers characters since there may be people reading the piece wh o are unfamiliar with the Avengers. If you're writing an X-Files-Homicide cros sover and posting it to alt.tv.x-files.creative, you will need to give more inf ormation about the Homicide characters. If it's a generic list with all sorts of fa nfiction, you should include more information period. Where you're posting, then, governs the amount of information included.] 2) Don't exaggerate aspects of a series regular's appearance. Janeway's h air is not red or strawberry blond. It's dishwater brown with red highlights. Scully's eyes are light grey blue, not baby blue, and Kir 's are hazel, or maybe swampwater green, not gold, gold-flec ed, or honey-colored or any of a ha

lf-dozen other exaggerations. Cha otay is not a big man (nor does he have big hands). Kevin Sorbo is big, Arnold Schwartzenager is big; Robert Beltran is on the bul y side of average. Try for accuracy, not purple prose. I now what these people loo li e; I see them every wee . 3) Just as aspects of a series regular's appearance shouldn't be exaggerate d, neither should aspects of his or her personality. For example, two charac ters who are subjected to the worst offenses... Yes, both Tom Paris and Fox M ulder are troubled individuals, but they are also 30-something adults with a measure of social savvy and some life experience. They are not truly dysfunctional. (I now dysfunctional; I counselled dysfunctional.) Ma ing them act and react li e fifteen-year-olds with a terminal case of angst, or li e men who should be committed, is not engaging; it's silly. 4) If writing original ships or characters, don't put a long list of what neato-cool-techno-gee things the ship can do, or include the cast of character s at the beginning of your story. If a reader can't eep up with the story wit hout all that stuff, the writer is being lazy--and most readers won't bother. It's bori ng, fol s. If you want to include story bac matter li e casts of characters, technical information, pronunciation charts, then put it at the bac . (On a side-note, I never personally read stories in screenplay format. Ot her readers don't mind, perhaps, but I want my fiction in narrative form, tha n you.) If you found the above essay to be of use and wish to set pointers to this pag e, please feel free. Also feel free to distribute the above in the public dom ain but, of course, eep my name attached. I'd li e to than Mary Ellen Curt in, anne in chicago, and Laura Taylor for suggestions and comments which became additions or revisions to this essay. I'd also li e to than the fol s on alt.startre . creative for a lively discussion of this essay which allowed me to further refin e it. OTHER WRITING RESOURCES Garbl's Writing Resources Online: A page of lin s for grammar and other write r's concerns. The English Department, DangerMom's Handy-Dandy Grammar Guide: An alt.startre .creative denizen has composed a page of grammar problems frequently found in f anfiction. Mary Beth Kipler's The Elements of Phyle: An alt.tv.x-files.creative denizen with a page similar to the above with helpful color coding (but a large picture ta es up most of the page top so page down to find the grammar--and if you have a slow modem, turn off your images). Elements of Style, Strun 's original in hypertext; personally, I prefer Str un & White, but both editions are among the more famous boo s on style ever pu

blished (and published, and published, and published...) .

Just... go read it

NovelDoc: A webpage gateway to apply to a listserv devoted to serious critiqu e of completed novels for purposes of revision--what amounts to an online writer 's group. Of particular interest: the site maintainer has a long and annotate d list of resources available to authors. See the "boo store" section. Bac to Macedon's Taberna, Redux.