Mr.

Mom
By Sean Smith
It was both the best possible time and the worst
possible time for my wife to go out of town.
Reilly was six months old, had five teeth already
and had an appetite that breastfeeding could no
longer satiate. Similac and the occasional solid
morsel were now on the menu. However, my job
had me perpetually on the road in Guilford and
Randolph ounties. rises abounded and my
days were long.
!ody and I are an effective tag team when it
comes to managing Reilly"s needs, and at that
point neither one of us had ever had to go it
alone with her for so much as a day.
#evertheless !ody was off to a wor$%related
training in Roc$y &ount for a wee$, and so
preparations began for 'ad to fly solo. Scenes
from the ()*+ &ichael ,eaton film Mr. Mom
flooded bac$ to me.
Caroline: Do you want to go over the list one
more time?
Jack: No I dont want to go over the list! "kay
lets go over the list.
In the movie, ,eaton -!ac$. is a recently laid%off
engineer who has to run the household while his
wife aroline goes to wor$.
/mong the differences between !ac$ and I are
that I am a first%time dad and that I still had to
wor$. 0or a few hours a day Reilly would be in
the capable hands of a babysitter. 1he tric$
would be getting her to2and bac$ from2her
trusted caregiver while managing my job. 1hen
there was everything else.
Pictured above are the author and his daughter, Reilly Smith
Sunday night I scrubbed, filled and pac$ed most
of the bottles in the cooler. 1he car seat was
installed in my bac$seat along with the portable
'3' player that $ept my car%hating child from
screaming.
Reilly had begun sleeping through the night to
about 4 am. I resolved to get up long before her
and get ready for wor$. 5hen she roused I"d
already be caffeinated and waiting to feed her.
She awo$e at 6 am and she wanted to be held.
Into the shower with 'addy she went.
1here"s nothing li$e shampooing your hair one%
handed while an infant playfully smac$s you in
the face. /lso, I would have given anything for a
wall%mounted dryer that morning.
I dressed myself while $eeping a hand on my
towel%bundled daughter lest she roll off the bed.
I was carrying her to the nursery to get her
dressed when she peed all over me.
0inally we got out the door. 1he minute she was
in the bac$ seat she gave me the pouty face that
precedes a supernova of angry. I pushed play on
the '3'. 7ighting &c8ueen appeared. /ll was
well.
5e got to the babysitter a little late and then I
was off to Greensboro. 9y : pm I was flying
bac$ down Highway ;;< to ma$e it in time for
the afternoon pic$%up.
Reilly and I jog%strollered around the la$e and
then we ate. In the last hours of daylight she
babbled beside me from the portable playpen as
I weeded the flower bed and used the blower on
the porch. Reilly then went in the high chair
from which she throws stuff that I pic$ up for
her to throw again. I introduced her to Honey
#ut heerios. 1hose she did not throw. 7ife was
good.
'one with sitting, she soon demanded to rest on
my shoulder while we did chores2one%handed
bottle washing, one%handed laundry, one%handed
vacuuming=and then purple%faced screaming.
5ait, when did she start despising the vacuum> I
shut it off and Reilly continued to holler
Jack: #our Mom calls the vacuum $Jaws%?
I didn"t understand. She watched the much%
louder lawn e?uipment with fascination and yet
she hated the vacuum.
Jack%s kid: #ou%re doing it wrong.
1he blower. 1he gas%powered blower was still
on the front porch. 9ac$ into the high chair
Reilly went.
She was still hollering as I opened all the doors
and ?uic$ly wal$ed out the front.
I came bac$ in with the blower strapped to me
and running at half%speed. Reilly was transfixed
and ?uiet.
I blew the dirt off the hardwood floors and rugs
right out the open sliding glass2it"s good to
have a small house and an open floor plan.
9ath time went off without a hitch. Reilly
enjoyed another bottle in her swing while we
watched episodes of the &uppet Show on '3'.
1omorrow will be easier I thought.
1he next morning Reilly was up at 6 am.
'amn it.
Jack: It%s real easy to &orget what%s im'ortant(
so don%t.
It was a long wee$, but honestly I"ve never had
more fun in my life.
)ean )mith is a 'ro&essional writer and actor.