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Tame your self-criticCoreSinging

Singing makes a difference

The Evolution and Taming of the Self-Critic

Posted on June 15, 2012 by CoreSinging

Thoughts on the Evolution and Taming of the Self-Critic 2012 Meribeth Dayme, PhD with cartoons by Jay Obrecht Extracted and revised from: Believe in Me by M Dayme At all times, with no conscious effort on our part, the body and mind are full of activity. Constant input bombards us from nerves, the sensory organs and our own thoughts. Fortunately most of this happens on multiple levels outside of our consciousness. Studies on consciousness (See: The User illusion by Norretranders) tell us that when we try to do things consciously, the process is very slow, because we are interfering with our innate and natural capacity to accomplish the task. Yet interfere we do. We want control with a capital C. Trust gets lost in this process.

How did we lose the ability to honour both instinct and learned ability at the same time? In our system of education, analytical/critical ability is encouraged as a way of proving what we know. Part of the brain loves that; another part loves seeing the whole instead of the building blocks. We need both. However, the critical part has reached a state of bully-hood. Along with that has come a vocabulary of right vs. wrong, lots of shoulds and oughts and the necessity to self-criticise so that others know that we know we arent perfect. Thus begin the first seeds of doubt, lack of trust and self-criticism. 1/5


Tame your self-criticCoreSinging

As we continue along this journey and the inner conversation increases, the critical element grows too.

It doesnt take long before we are enveloped in a cloud of our own making.

Next our self-critic consumes us. Arggg!

In extreme cases there is a block that makes it difficult to communicate because we need to protect our interests. We cant get out, and no one else can get in. Open to new information? New learning? New experience? Hmmmm. Difficult.

That is quite a heavy burden!



Tame your self-criticCoreSinging

OK, OK, Enough! How can we change this dilemma? First start with just being still30 seconds will do for a start. Place a hand on each thigh, feel flat on the floor, completely stillnothing moving or twitching. This may be a strange feeling for you, but your body and mind will love it. You can do this as many times a day as you want. It works wonders when you do it before you begin a challenging task, practicing, a sport, or a performance.

Its OK to just let thoughts come and go as they please. There is no need for a conversation with any of the thoughts. When you stay neutral to those thoughts, they will not affect your state.

Start with three times a day for 30 seconds. Its easy to do without attracting attention to yourself. It can be your secret tranquilizer no matter where you are. To repeatits great to do in meetings, before important phone calls, presentations or performances of any kind. Once you have yourself in a better state it follows that your communication with others can change too. The more helpful and positive you are, the better the response from those around you. You can change them and the atmosphere in any space just by being in a better state yourself. Even thinking positive thoughts toward someone else builds bridges of good communication. Any thought you send to someone is perceived either on a conscious or unconscious level. So be careful what you send toward others. All thoughts count. The kinder, the better.



Tame your self-criticCoreSinging

Bridge of Positive Thought

Note: This is worth doing even when you do not feel like it.

The dilemmas we face today are such that we need each other more than ever. The idea of the survival of the fittest is giving way to cooperation and sharing at group levels. To help our generation live in this time of change and uncertainty, we all need to help our neighbours in every wayeven if it is only a thought that is sent. Every thought and every action counts. Now enjoy your inner and outer space. When the self-critic wants to speak, just play it some music.

You may also enjoy: Presence, Confidence and Personal Power by Meribeth Dayme. available on Amazon and other major ebook sellers.
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Tame your self-criticCoreSinging

About CoreSinging Meribeth Dayme, PhD, creator of CoreSinging is a recognized authority on singing and the human voice, a performance coach, master class leader, speaker, and author. Her fascinating master classes and books on singing are the result of many years teaching and performing, studying Alexander technique, anatomy, dance and movement, and variety of ancient and modern healing systems. A former university professor of singing and anatomy (University of Southern California and University of Delaware), her books, Dynamics of the Singing Voice (5th Edition 2009), The Singing Book (with C Vaughn), Creating Confidence and The Performers Voice embody her mission to help performers sing easily, healthily and joyfully. View all posts by CoreSinging

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