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issue 001
006 007 who we are A Note from the editor

Real Talk
044 049 056 Off Stage with Robert Delong Breaking Character with Natasha Leggero Artist-to-artist with paintshop studio

Gag Reflex
034 035 036 037 038 Texts of the month Complaints & Grievances Monthly Prank A how-to guide Craigslist Chronicles

Columns
053 068 085 092
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My Life Waiting [Tables] Open Letter Brave Things Political rants with crazy carl

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PHOTOGRAPHY BY FLORIA SIGISMONDI THE BEASTIE BOYS GREATEST LEGACY 50 WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR LOVER #STREETART

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IF I HAD MONEY, A POEM SUMMERTIME STYLES SEX IN VIOLENCE CODI BARBINI

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IPHONEOGRAPHY FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK THE INTRODUCTION

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print. web. tablet.

www.leveledmag.com

EDITOR IN CHIEF DANIEL LEEB EXECUTIVE EDITOR RAY ADORNETTO CREATIVE DIRECTOR DAMIAN ESTRADA INTERACTIVE DIRECTOR DOMINICK VITELLI MANAGING EDITOR MATTHEW LEEB MANAGING EDITOR, FASHION VICTORIA ZENGO CONTRIBUTING EDITOR SHANE IAN GILMORE COVER PHOTO BY Anjelica Jardiel PHOTOGRAPHERS Ali Jardine, Anjelica Jardiel, Ben Miller, Carsten Witte, Codi

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Ali Baker, Anna J, Bruce Pinsler, Carl Withers, Jamie Maleszka,

COPYRIGHT REACH INTERACTIVE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. REPRODUCTION WITHOUT PERMISSION IS PROHIBITED. LEVELED IS A PUBLICATION OF REACH INTERACTIVE. PRINTED IN THE USA.

LEVELEDMAG.COM

crew
Barbini, Floria Sigismondi
DESIGNER Dante Cho

Leonard Charmichael, Nora Gordon, Seymour Pin, William Goodman

COPY EDITORS Tim Puder MASCOTS LOLA, SOPHIE, GRAHAM

Quote of the month

Tell PETA my mink is dragging on the floor. -Kanye

A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR

The key to happiness

hen I woke up face down on my desk about 15 minutes ago, I felt like an idiot. As I molded my face back into shape and began to brew a fresh pot of coffee, my

funny it would be if people shared this ridiculous habit, and in the same moment, how annoying it would be to worry about my brother chewing up my shoes every time he came over. When I looked back at Lola only a few moments later, she had fallen asleep chewing the bone. Her head had fallen to the ground, and the half-maimed rawhide that her head rested on appeared to be more of an inconvenience than a pillow and I glared at her the same way she had glared at me a few minutes before. I suppose when you find something you love, either temporarily or permanently, nothing else matters. You become so captivated by what you are doing that there isnt even time to take the bone out of your mouth before you fall asleep. No one may understand your obsession, how one particular thing can shut out everything else in your life, but it exists, and its the most incredible thing in the world. Whatever it might be: a job, a man or woman, a rawhide or anything else Find your obsession, and overdo it. Overindulgence is the key to happiness. -Daniel Leeb

dog Lola sat there looking at me like I was an idiot. I did my best to prevent her judgmental eyes from affecting me, since shes not the most pleasant looking sleeper either. In fact, she was only half awake herself, she had an inch or so of dry, tired tongue hanging out of her dry, tired mouth so who is she to judge? Nevertheless, she just kept staring at me, with an equal amount of judgment and confusion in her eyes. As I questioned her as to why she was staring at me that way, she just proceeded to glare. Something didnt make sense to her. Perhaps she wondered why she didnt wake up in her bed, or why I decided to use a computer keyboard for a pillow. For all of the debacles that she has been an accomplice to in the past, this seemed like a rather mild occasion for the depth of her apparent concern. As the coffee brewed, she quickly lost interest and made her way over to a rawhide bone, where she began to gnaw at it with the same intensity as her confused yet judgmental stare. When Lola has her bone the rest of the world stops. She is dedicated, determined and completely enthralled in what she is doing. It has always amused me how devoted she becomes when she is chewing on a rawhide. Often, when she gets in what I like to call the chew-rhythm, her jaw begins to fluently rotate on the object, and her eyes roll back in her head as she enters into a complete state of euphoria. While in this euphoric state, nothing can distract her from her target transforming a hard, tasty rawhide bone into a disgusting, slimy carcass of a rawhide bone, and then ingesting that slimy mess into her stomach. I poured a cup of coffee and thought about how bizarre it is that dogs love to chew on things. Then I thought how

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PHOTOGRAPHY BY FLORIA SIGISMONDI

The Beastie Boys Greatest Legacy: Unbreakable Friendship

A reflection on the best thing that late rapper-musician-filmmaker-activist Adam MCA Yauch gave us

By William Goodman
he Beastie Boys died on May 4 in no doubt a staid and sterile hospital room at New York-Presbyterian Hospital, where Adam MCA Yauch, only 47 years old, lost a three-year-long battle with cancer of his salivary gland and lymph nodes. An icon of youthof my youthdied in the most adult way imaginable. When I found out I was at work at my Midtown Manhattan office at Fuse TV, and I had to wrestle for composure as I reported the news on the website I write for and edit. It was the first time I was that moved by a public figures death. I wasnt around for the lives or deaths of Jimi Hendrix, John Lennon, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Elvis, and others of that ilk. I was only 12 years old when Kurt Cobain killed himself. Music has played a large role in my 29 years, and Yauch was the first musician that I watched throughout the many stages of my life, and then I watched him die. When I called my lifelong pal Spencer to discuss the news, he said, Its like one of my best friends ever died. Thats the effect the Boys, and in particular MCA, had on people, especially my group of friends as we grew up in suburban Seattle. The Beasties were the rock stars that made fame seem attainable, cool, and possible on your own termsand that was empowering. But at the heart of it all, beyond the royalty checks, the girls, the booze, the record advances and parties in the Hollywood Hills, was their unbreakable, impenetrable friendship, and thats the legacy Yauch and the Beastie Boys will leave behind for me. I couldnt say when, exactly, my two older sisters introduced me to the Beastie Boys, because it feels like theyve always been there. But it was with my friends, in junior high and high school, that I really experienced their music and lifestyle, which were one in the same. Starting freshman year my crew and I rocked house parties, crushed Budweiser tall boys and generally caused as much trouble as possible. Mailboxes were exploded, golf carts driven at high speeds and totaled, and houses egged. The snickering of a gang of high school kids fleeing the scene seemed like a sentiment central to the Beasties code. The connection between my core circle of friends was like Michael Mike D Diamond, Adam Ad-Rock Horovitz and MCAswe were in tune with each other; we finished each others sentences. We rolled in a pack and always had each others back. We were skaters and rockers who held rap battles at house parties. We were a bunch of jackasses always trying to woo girls by making them laugh with our quick-witted banter. Our power was in numbers. At first we obsessed over the Boys punk songsHeart Attack Man, Sabotage, Root Downand my respect for their music grew with their catalogue. One summer I borrowed Pauls Boutique from my sister and bumped Shake Your Rump while driving my parents 1982 Honda Civic. Wed all rap in unisonMCAs got a beard like a Billy Goatooo-wah-ooo-wah!then wed turn to face each other, freeze, and then mimic the chorus warped keyboard sound with a droning vocal buzz (try it!) and a waving motion of our arms. Full disclosure: We were all bigger fans of bands like Weezer, Nirvana, the Pixies and Pavement, but the Beastie Boys language, perma-cool demeanor and smart aleck mouths became synonymous with my crew. I was known as Screamin Dreamin Goodman on both the basketball court and the microphonewe recorded our own rap songs, with one even making the rounds amongst our schools student body one summer. During my verse the phrase sexual surgeon was used. I remember seeing a photo of MCA, who at this point mustve been around 30 years old, in a magazine and noticed he was tall, lanky just like me. I saw him involved in the world of snowboarding (I even

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began hearing more and more Beasties songs in snowboarding videos) responding joke about Yauchs bedpan, then another and another. Soon and I soon discovered that Yauch, under the Nathaniel Hornblower theres chatter of the old days of Chinatown loft parties, when the band moniker, had directed the music videos for So Whatcha Want, Body was just getting their start. Theyre finishing each others sentences Movin, and Intergalactic. The Beasties grew up and Yauch graduated again. Its a whirlwind of talk and all three get lost in it. Hours slip to Buddhism, supporting Tibetan Freedom and denouncing the by. The duo sits on either side of Yauchs bed, and soon Diamond taps groups earlier disrespect of women in Sure Shot. The band evolved out a just-for-fun beat on the steel rebar of Yauchs hospital bed and and never stopped looking for what was next. they do a half-assed rap. You should sample that, MCA jokes in his In 1996 they released their instrumental album The In Sound From now-raspier-than-ever voice. They all laugh uncontrollably, alarming Way Out, a collection of jazz-funk-fusion jams with the Boys at the the nurses passing in the hall outside the door. top of their game as musicians, after years focusing their efforts on the Soon theres a knock at the door and all the three are silent. A mic. They were experimenting doctor enters and says their beyond the dumb-fun party time together is over; its time The Beasties were the rock rhymes that defined their career for some tests. Diamond comes stars that made fame seem to date, and it made sense to in for a long hug, kissing Yauchs my friends and I. It was an attainable, cool, and possible bony face. Horovitz follows suit, unexpected ace. the tears sticking his cheek to on your own termsand that Yauch helped prove the Yauchs. They both give their Boys were insatiable culture was empowering. old friend daps, bumping omnivores, and during my high fists. Youll be fine, one of school years, when people were defined by punk or preppy or them says. The other adds, We love you then after a beat fires, ya a jock, my friends and I werent closed off to any music, sport, or deeeeeiiiiiccccckkkkk! Mike D and Ad-Rock slowly back out the door lifestyle. We traveled freely between clicks, and thats something the as the nurses wheel in plastic machines around them. Yauch gives a Beastie Boys taught us. MCA wasnt a larger-than-life rock star; he was half smile with the last bit of energy he can muster. The camera pans a 5 foot 10 inch role model. out and the door closes. End scene. After work on May 4, I walked downtown to the Lower East Side, It almost certainly didnt happen like this. As Rolling Stone notes, to the corner of Ludlow and Orchardthe former location of Pauls only Yauchs immediate family were present when he diedhis Boutique, the bodega immortalized on the cover of the album of the parents, wife, and daughter. And only few will know the condition he same name. I was seeking a communal experience. As I headed south was in during his final days. For all I know he was unconscious. But on 7th Ave, I envisioned Ad-Rock or Mike D with a bullhorn, on the this is how I want it to be. This is how I will always envision it. Because steps of what is now a fancy salad wrap jointa wrap business, I thats how I want to diesurrounded by not just the love of your joked under my breath. How ironic. I hoped the surviving Beasties immediately family, but still protected by perhaps the Beastie Boys would be there to say something. I dont know what, but something. greatest legacy: their unbreakable friendship. When I arrived I took a photo, then stood around for a few minutes watching the foot traffic pass. I examined the streets and noticed how much has changed in my eight short years in New York, not to mention since the Boys glory days downtown. I wondered what they thought when they visited the area. Was it even recognizable? In the days following MCAs death, I couldnt shake a certain scene from my head. And every time the subject of MCA arises in conversation, it comes right back. I see MCA in his bed at New YorkPresbyterian, surrounded by his wife Dechen, his 13-year-old daughter Tenzin Losel and his parents Frances and Noel. Theres a triple knock at the door and Michael Diamond and Adam Horovitz enter the room. Its a clear day; you can see the East River in the distance and beyond that Yauchs native Brooklyn. Fully knowing that this might be their last time with their ol pal, Mike D and Ad-Rock are nervous, visually uncomfortable. The rest of the family excuses themselves for a moment, and Dechen puts a hand on Horovitzs shoulder and grips Diamonds wrist as she walks out. Then there were three. Stop it, MCA says to their serious tone. Any tension is quickly broke up a
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50 ways to leave your lover

photographed by carsten witte

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PAINTSHOP STUDIO, London

with Rick Walker Dep

In three sentences, what are you guys all about? We are a London based creative studio that combines graffiti art, graphic design and marketing. Our aim is to keep pushing the boundaries of these disciplines; to always create something new and exciting in a dull and media saturated world But ultimately we want to fund a modest lifestyle doing something we love and believe in. What part of London are you from? We are based in deep dark South London, a place called Crystal Palace. There used to be a huge glass building here in the Victorian days, where they held a famous exhibition of art and culture from all around the world. It must have been amazing, but apparently someone dropped a cigarette after having a sneaky smoke in the basement, and it all burned down. All that is left now are a few misshapen statues of dinosaurs, or at least what they thought dinosaurs looked like in the Victorian days. Do you remember the first time that you saw graffiti? I grew up in hip-hops heyday in the 80s, so there was graffiti around on TV as part of the boom. But the first time it hit me hard was when some older kids bombed my school overnight. This was massive for me. Im not talking a few tags in the toilet It was huge chrome dubs all over the outside of the school. Parts of the school were single story, so they were from top to bottom! I grew up in the outskirts of a small town in quite a rural area on the South Coast, so this was a big deal. What influenced you to start writing graffiti? I was pretty good at drawing from a young age, and was into hip-hop, so it seemed totally natural. All my mates at the time had tags and did a little small-time bombing, I guess I just carried on and took it further. I remember seeing a copy of Spraycan Art when I must have been around 11, and I was blown away. Ever since, I wanted to create full color masterpieces like I saw in the book. Spraycan Art and Subway Art were both huge influences for me when I was starting out, so a few years back when I was painting a piece and looked around to see Martha Cooper photographing me, it was the highlight of everything Ive ever done. It was the pictures she took for Subway Art some 30 years earlier that hooked me and made me do what I do today. Has it always been something that you took seriously, or just a hobby that turned into a vocation? I never really take anything that seriously, haha But yeah, it was a love and a passion that lead into a vocation. I was often asked by DJ mates growing up to do artwork for their mix tapes, then flyers for their club nights, and then a few record sleeves. After doing a design for a big UK hip-hop crew called Son of Noise, I realized this would be a cool job and worked my way into an apprenticeship with a small design studio, which was the start of a pretty long career in graphic design working for a wide mix of clients and brands. What Ive been trying to do over the last few years is mix this design expertise and my passion for graffiti to make a new way of working, to offer something totally unique and to create the perfect job, I guess! Who were the writers that you looked up to growing up? Who were the most influential? It was a pretty small scene where I grew up near Southampton, but some really good writers came out of the surrounding area. Junk (Second2None) and Boer & OddBall (NT) were big in the area, but also writers like Bonzai
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LET ENGLAND SHAKE PART OF A STREET GALLERY SERIES FOR ISLAND RECORDS.

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PUMA CLYDE DEDICATION WALL SHOWING SOME OF THE HISTORY BEHIND THE MUCH LOVED PUMA CLYDE.

(ILW), Maine, Mage and CBR. That was who I hung out with, and they influenced me in a big way. I still paint with Bonzai after some 30 years! Other big influences were from trips into London. We were seeing writers like Elk, Diet and Zomby on the lines, and Mode2, Zaki Dee, Astek and Rough in the halls of fame. We traveled a bit to Paris and Amsterdam on graffiti trips as well, checking out artists like Lokiss, Bando and Delta, etc. Was there a big street art scene when you guys were coming up? Bombing, trains? Ha! No, not at all really where I grew up. Its a pretty shit small town on the outskirts of Southampton, next to the forest. Nearer into Southampton the scene got better, and over towards Bournemouth, but it was pretty small. Most of the people I hung out with were into hip-hop, but they were mostly DJs and MCs or skaters. This was before the internet, so the only influences from outside came from a handful of books, mags, and photos collected on trips. Also, because there wasnt a huge bombing scene, we focused more on pieces and trying to get the best out of the crappy paint available. Its amazing if you compare the scene these days. It has become so much more acceptable, and loved by so many different types of people from all walks of life. For me, these are exciting times. Allowing graffiti to branch out, change, and evolve. Keeping it from stagnation is really important so that it doesnt die out. Obviously the downside is that every kid out of design school is having a go to become the next Banksy without any real understanding of the culture, or without spending the time to develop their skills or style. But the way I see it is that this allows the genuine talent to continue and evolve without the usual hassle and beef. At the end of the day, these are the guys who will be around in another 10 or 20 years.
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Did you ever get arrested for painting? Ive come close a few times, but luckily no. I wasnt too focused on the illegal action unless I was drunk and thats when Im invincible anyway!! Haha! What gave you the idea to bring your talents to the marketing/ advertising arena? It was really to try and combine my work with my passion, but also I felt that marketing and design was becoming overly polished and totally soulless. I think graffiti or aerosol art offers the perfect antidote to this. It is unique, one-off, hand crafted, and can speak to people outside of the usual marketing channels. I was left feeling numb with the bland over-worked design and advertising that was being churned out, and I think a lot of people are craving a more hand made and honest aesthetic. This is where Paintshop is coming from, and we are applying our art to as many mediums and medias as possible. From advertising to events, interiors to animated films, weve even done digital animations for PlayStation using just spray paint artwork that has been photographed, chopped up, and brought to life on a computer. Whats in store for the future, upcoming projects, events and campaigns? We just had a dope new mix done by the amazing DJ Format. You can download this for free at www.paintshopstudio.com, please go check it out. Were also currently talking to a big NYC MC legend about creating a graffiti promo video for his new album launch, so please keep watching this space! Oh yeah, and we want to come out to see whats happing stateside sometime soon, and of course hook up with the Leveled crew Were just waiting for the excuse!

Quick answers: Favorite band and rapper: Thats tricky, but one of the following The genius GZA, Rakim, Chuck D, Big Daddy Kane, MF Doom, Nice & Smooth. Favorite paint: Belton is the best all around paint for me, but 93 and Montana Black are also decent. What sucks about the world right now? Greed, control, and the blatant manipulation by our governments. Its like they dont even care enough to even do a decent job of lying anymore Oh yeah, and insomnia. Best graff artist in the UK now? Vibes RT, Roid HA/MSK, and my HOD crew. Best graff artist in the US now? My US brothers in HOD crew of course! The future of graffiti? Evolution. People need to move on, look to the future, and try new things, but always with the knowledge of what has been before. Banksy? Who? How can people get a hold of you? Check out our website www.paintshopstudio.com, find us on Facebook and Twitter under Paintshop Studio, or pop in and see us if youre ever in South London.
TOM VEK PART OF A STREET GALLERY SERIES FOR ISLAND RECORDS.

Follow rick on instagram @rickydep

PHOTO BY JEFF METAL

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#streetart #getleveled

@brandyslittlebrother

@damianestrada

@brandyslittlebrother

@brandyslittlebrother

@damianestrada

Alyssa Rosenthal

Alyssa Rosenthal

Alyssa Rosenthal

Alyssa Rosenthal

@tadpole_renu

@tadpole_renu

@tadpole_renu

@tadpole_renu

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WWW.THEBRICKOFGOLD.COM

THE BRICK OF GOLD

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PERVERT OF THE MONTH

Wed like to congratulate the lovely Ali Lewin for spotting our June pervert of the month in sunny Coral Springs, Florida. Mozel tov Ali.
Submit your perverts to perverts@leveledmag.com.

the facts of life

According to the Museum of Sex, the vibrator was originally used as a medicinal treatment for female hysteria during the 19th century. The vibrator-induced orgasms helped doctors dissipate hysterias anxietyrelated symptoms. 50% of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri. The average size of an erect penis is 5 inches, and the average flaccid penis measures about 3 inches. Women take meth twice as much as they take cocaine. Although the 2009 rate of 99.1 diagnoses per 100,000 Americans is one of the lowest ever recorded, gonorrhea remains the second most commonly reported STD in the United States. While 1 out of every 142 Americans is now actually in prison, 1 out of every 32 is either in prison or on parole from prison, according to yet another report on Americans behaving badly from the Bureau of Justice Statistics. Semen contains zinc and calcium, both of which are proven to prevent tooth decay. Every 2 minutes someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted. There are over 200 euphemisms for death in the English language. The United States has 5% of the worlds population, but 25% of the worlds incarcerated population. What do Elvis Presley, Lenny Bruce, Orville Redenbacher, Robert Pastorelli and Jim Morrison have in common? They all died in a bathroom. More than 400,000 babies are born addicted to cocaine each year in the U.S A human head stays conscious for 15 - 20 seconds after decapitation. A cockroach can live for up to 9 days without its head. 97% of rapists will never spend a day in jail. There are approximately 12 million crimes committed in the United States every single year. That is by far the worst in the world. No other nation has more than 6 million crimes reported per year. The German drug producing company Merck was the first in the United States to produce and patent MDMA.

Texts of the month

Submit your texts to texts@leveledmag.com.

Submit your texts to texts@leveledmag.com.

GAG REFLEX // GAG REFLEX // GAG REFLEX // GAG REFLEX // GAG REFLEX // GAG REFLEX // GAG REFLEX // GAG REFLEX // GAG REFLE
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Customer Service
Complaints & Grievances

Bruce Pinsler
Bruce Pinsler is a poet and social critic living in his mothers basement.

the waitress made another remark relating to how she was soaking wet and reaffirmed her vaginas vice grip tightness.

Vote for him to win a Pulitzer Prize at pulitzer.org. Follow him on Twitter @coozehound

called the general manager of a really expensive restaurant in Beverly Hills and told him that my wife overheard the waitress tell me that her vagina

discussing a vagina was against restaurant policy. I told him that I enjoyed and respected the waitress confidence in her love cave and that I only needed an email saying that she was reprimanded to shut my vampire wife up.

was extremely tight. He assured me that a staff member

Bruces Email
Dear Joe, Thank you very much for taking my call. I am truly embarrassed and I am sorry for putting you in this position. Like I said on the phone, I was drinking and my physical attraction to this waitress may have prompted her to discuss the attributes and virtues of her vagina. It was a great night. I was making jokes about water boarding those women from The Real Housewives show and everybody was laughing. I paid for the meal because I make more money than my wifes brother and I like to let him know this. The waitress then made a comment about how extremely tight her vagina is. No one else heard her and I was very intrigued. Ive always been a fan of a tight child channel. Lol. As I was leaving I asked if she had ever been to Kenya. Neither of us knew that my wife was close and the waitress made another remark relating to how she was soaking wet and reaffirmed her vaginas vice grip tightness. Please just confirm that she was reprimanded. Like I said, the last thing that I want is my wife coming up there and making a scene tonight. She is a vindictive sucker of souls. Thank you for your time and effort.

Restaurants Response
Dear Mr. Pinsler, Thank you for speaking with me and letting me know of the experience you had at $#^%$$$ last week. I appreciated your candor and informing me of the facts. I would like to reassure you that I have spoken to the server on your group and the managers on duty that evening and reiterated to them our service policies and communication standards; of course, clarifying what is appropriate and inappropriate dialogue with our guests. I humbly apologize on behalf of my team any embarrassment caused to you or your wife. I hope that this one occasion does not impact your thoughts negatively about *&^$^^&. We sincerely hope to welcome you again very soon through our doors. Yours truly, (Changed to protect identity) General Manager ^%&^$#* in Beverly Hills Beverly Hills, CA 90210

The best, B. Pinsler

EX // GAG REFLEX // GAG REFLEX // GAG REFLEX // GAG REFLEX // GAG REFLEX // GAG REFLEX // GAG REFLEX // GAG REFLEX // GAG
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prank of the month to weaken the enemy

HOW TO MAKE A PRANK PHONE CALL
MAKE SURE YOU CALL YOUR VICTIM ANONYMOUSLY. If you think that your

victim will recognize your voice, choose another victim. In the United States of America, dialing *67 before dialing your victims number will make it virtually impossible for him or her to confirm your identity in a court of law.
ASK YOURSELF NUMEROUS TIMES IF PRANKING HIM OR HER IS REALLY A WISE IDEA. If you think this person can take a joke,

then be my guest, but keep in mind that some people startle easily and what started as a prank phone call can end up in serious injury or even death. Remember that when someone feels theyve been placed in a threatening or harmful telephone call, they will go to any length necessary to find the culprit. Police and Internal Investigative Reporters have been dealing with jokers on phones since the conception of the internet, so be sure you know what youre doing.
DEVELOP A PERSONA. Come up with a

black, pretend youre Mexican. For 1-2 weeks before making the call, practice your persona. This will further confuse the victim and help protect your identity. Remember that people make phone calls every day. Everybody knows that there needs to be a reason why youre calling. So, develop a reason. Are you a salesman? A doctor with news of a disease or death in the family? A Jehovahs Witness asking for money? An ex-girlfriend? Whatever you choose to be, choose wisely and remember dont take your persona too seriously. Identity theft is a serious crime punishable by prison time and or probation.
REHEARSE WHAT YOULL SAY BEFORE THE CALL. I suggest buying a pack of

SAY YOUR OPENING LINE. Sometimes

people know its a prank and hang up, so own your persona beforehand. This is where practice makes perfect. I said it before and Ill say it again, if you want something done right, do it yourself. I never make a prank call unless I have been practicing my accent and lines for at least two weeks prior to the call. The opening line is the most crucial moment of the call. Say something like Yes, Id like to speak to the head of household or Is this Mr. [last name] speaking? Icebreakers are key here. You want the victim to feel at ease and open to speak.
HANG UP BEFORE THE OTHER PERSON CATCHES ON. As soon as the other person

standardized note cards and writing down what you will say line for line on each card. On the reverse side of the card write three of your victims possible responses.
DIAL THE NUMBER ON YOUR PHONE. Im

says something, HANG UP! Then start rolling on the floor laughing because you just fucking nailed em!
DONT LAUGH OR BREAK CHARACTER.

funny name. I like to use something like Bill Dick. Also consider practicing an accent. If youre white, pretend youre black, if youre

sure you all know the vast variety of phones on the market nowadays. I will tell you this, any phone will work. The phone that I recommend however is a Sony, portable household phone. You probably cant find this as it is outdated but I use it and its the best.

Even after youve hung up the phone stay in character; they may call you back or show up at your house. If this happens, youre going to want them to think this fake persona is really who you are, or have become.

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to advance your position

Americas got talent, chefs, bachelors, fat fuck biggest losers, dancers and a contest show for everything except blowjobs.
Im convinced that The Real World started it. I blame MTV for all of it. I blame them for the violent mouth rape of culture in this country, and for the devaluation of fame. The rise of the talentless and average, the celebration of the sex-tape celebrity, and the syndication of money hungry housewives, are just a fragment of this televised AIDS that has spread uncontrollably since the early 2000s. Americas Got Talent, chefs, bachelors, fat fuck biggest losers, dancers and a contest show for everything except blowjobs. Which is the only job Ive ever liked Im tired of it. Im pissed off that

a how-to guide
HOW TO become a reality tv star
young people will never understand that Al Pacino is good at something, and The Situation is just some jack off that got lucky. There is no longer a clear understanding of why someone is famous. Even someone sucking a career out of YouTube is more commendable than these reality television swine. But there is a bright side to all of this. MONEY! There is so much money in this life-celebration porn that the networks are cumming in their pants to develop the next strand of broadcast gonorrhea. So Im going tell you how to become a reality television star. Its simple!

PROVEN PATHS TO SUCCESS THAT THE AMERICAN VIEWERS LOVE

HAVE A DAD WHO IS A LAWYER THAT GOT A FOOTBALL PLAYER THAT MURDERED HIS WIFE ACQUITTED. THEN VIDEO TAPE BRANDYS LITTLE BROTHER DICKING YOU DOWN. BE WHITE TRASH. HAVE EIGHT BABIES CRAWL OUT OF YOUR VAGINA. EMBRACE THE STEREOTYPES OF YOUR ETHNICITY AND EXAGGERATE THEM ON CAMERA. BE A FLAMBOYANT GAY MAN. BE THE HYPE-MAN OF AN AFROCENTRIC RAP GROUP, START SMOKING CRACK AND BECOME INTIMATE WITH A HUGE WHITE BITCH THAT USED TO BE MARRIED TO RAMBO. BE A TROUBLE MAKING, DRAMATIC, LOUDMOUTHED ASSHOLE. BE A SOULLESS, BLOOD SUCKING, MONEY HUNGRY HOUSEWIFE. PREFERABLY IN A WEALTHY CITY OR TRASHY STATE. BE FROM NEW JERSEY. BE AN EGOMANIAC THAT COOKS FOOD FOR A LIVING. BE A TEENAGE GIRL, AND GET EJACULATED IN UNTIL YOURE PREGNANT. WORK A REALLY SHITTY BLUE-COLLAR JOB AND MAKE IT SEEM PATRIOTIC. BE A DRUG ADDICT THAT REFUSES SOBRIETY. THIS IS PROBABLY THE MOST FUN AND FULFILLING.

UNPENETRATED PATHS THAT THE AMERICAN VIEWERS WOULD LOVE

BE IN THE KU KLUX CLAN. BE A BOY-BANGING PRIEST. BE A FEMALE SEX ADDICT THAT GOES ON PENIS BINGES TWO TO THREE TIMES A WEEK. BE A SERIAL KILLER THAT WILL LET A CAMERA CREW DOCUMENT YOUR WORK FOR A FEW SEASONS. HAVE A LIFESTYLE FILLED WITH BIZARRE SEXUAL FETISHES, LIKE FISH FUCKING, OR PP & BALLS TORTURE. HAVE INCEST PLAY A MAJOR ROLE IN YOUR LOVE LIFE. BE THE HAPPILY MARRIED, ALL AMERICAN FATHER... THAT IS SECRETLY GAY. GOOD LUCK!

this is a rea lr

a se to n spo e

fake ad we

pos te

aigslist. n cr do

H.E.

Krystine

Krystine

Krystine

Hi :-) i am very interested and would love to meet.i have done this once before and very much enjoyed it.i have a healthy diet and hike regularly.i would love to do this again so i hope to hear from you soon...

good morning :-) outcall only and i have the flu at the moment so as soon as i get better i would like to meet...

hmm, i either misunderstood your ad or misunderstood your question. you asked, youll be paying cash?...are you paying or do you want to be paid??

lEvEled lEvEled

Hi! I would love to accommodate you. When can you meet up? In call or outcall? Did you know that they made a movie about the Titanic? That retard from the Gilbert grape movie is in it!

Cool. How do you want me to dress? Do you have any particular fetishes? Youll be paying cash?

Did you hear of this new thing, Ape Slammed Brown Eye Dance?the
lEvEled

Krystine

No dude, Im a male prostitute! The first male hipster prostitute, actually.

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no other strong fetishes like this one but i can be dominant at times (only if the other is into that) and i like ordering to give me a massage. thats about it though. is there a particular outfit you like to wear?

LOL. No dude, Im a male prostitute! The first male hipster prostitute, actually. Once, I was at this womans house and she paid me $500 to finger my ass and call my mom at the same time. People are so weird. I can give you a discount. Are you into just a missionary/doggy dick down? I can munch clam really well, and its 20 more for the long tongue butt bath.

I was helping my friends Mom look for her G spot and she said, Youre so cute, you look like a hipster. BOOM! Heres a niche.

lEvEled

Krystine

Hey, wake up! Why didnt you return my email? I wanna stab the folded bologna!

Krystine

im sorry hun, i totally misunderstood your ad, lol :-) sweetie, i dont pay for anything, im on a hustle just like you ;-) i was hoping to find a client, lol

i had a slave back in feb that was very generous, but now i havent been able to find any easy business thats gonna pay me well enough. no, i dont have a resume, the thought of making one has never even popped into my head. it has now, thanks to you, lol :-) i dont watch much tv at all, if i do its documentaries on netflix. i think we should meet and see what we could do together. if we mesh well, i think there is a great opportunity to make cash. no, i havent heard of ape slammed brown eye dance but im assuming it has to do with shit in the face, lol. what is it??

lEvEled

lEvEled

Oh, do you have a resume? I am putting my together and Im having trouble with it. This fuck face client said she would give me a reference and then changed her mind. Stupid shit mouth. So what about you? Hows business? Have you been watching Americas Got Talent? What a bukkake mess! LOL We should start a he and she service together, there is a lot of money in that. We could get hired out for birthday parties, swinger parties, first communions, etc. Did you hear of this new thing, the Ape Slammed Brown Eye Dance?

Yes. I agree, its definitely a buyers market. I think this is a time where adult service providers really need to take advantage of the social networks to build our client list. I identified an opening in the market about three months ago. I was helping my friends Mom look for her G spot and she said, Youre so cute, you look like a hipster. BOOM! Heres a niche. You NEED a resume! You cant run your business half assed. Johns need to know that you are fluent in Spanish, or that you know your way around Microsoft Office. Its not just about taking these micro-soft dicks and making them hard! (LOLZ at my own joke) Think outside the box. Youre selling more than your box... OMG you need to start watching TV. That new show Girls is so funny. I love watching the trials and tribulations of white trust fund kids! Butthole bathing! We should definitely meet up and start a small business. I think we would make a great team. We really have to build a unique brand. Then we can start franchising. This is some gangster rap shit. Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis When we were dead broke, man we couldnt picture this. I will show you the ape slammed brown eye dance. Its some next level shit. #thatisall

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PHOTOGRAPHED BY . MAKE-UP GARRET GERVAIS. HAIR CHRISTINE SLOPKO. STYLISTS GARA GAMBUCCI & DOUGLAS VANLANINGHAM FOR AKAI ITO BOUTIQUE.

ANJELICA JARDIEL

Dear Leveled, Christina Aguilera says, Youre beautiful no matter what they say. This is a dangerous thing to tell teens, especially since most of the teens Ive met have never read a book, eat chips all day and dream about getting rich and famous by doing nothing. They are not beautiful yet, its going to take some work! I dont care if Katy Perry says youre a firework! Fireworks have to work. Its ultimately a pandering lie and it tricks teens into thinking that they can just lay on their sofas eating Oreos like pale, pock-covered whales and everyones just supposed to love them or even worse, that just because they have some physical beauty the entire world should treat them like Cleopatra. My point is beauty isnt something youre born with, its something you achieve. Ive mowed lawns, delivered newspapers, worked in a grocery store, answered phones in a brothel in Australia (its legal there), got abducted by a con artist, dated two gay men (one 30 years older than me and the other one on food stamps). Ive also been in therapy for two years and I meditate every day. I can tell you the four noble truths of Buddhism. Ive raised two beautiful Chihuahuas and bought diamonds at Costco. I think Ive earned the right to grace your pages. And if you dont agree with me, fuck off. Natasha Leggero Ageless beauty
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RED VALENTINO SWEATER, AMERICAN APPAREL UNDERWEAR, ASHLEY ROBISON DEATH OF THE PARTY SHOES, WOLFORD STOCKINGS, VINTAGE GLOVES, VINTAGE EARRINGS.

ROSA CHA BATHING SUIT, WOLFORD STOCKINGS, ANDREW KAYLA SHOES, VINTAGE CAPE.

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FALGUNI & PEACOCK DRESS, WOLFORD STOCKINGS, ASHLEY ROBISON HERO HEELS, VINTAGE GLOVES.

DID YOU HAVE A GOOD CHILDHOOD? MOST IMPORTANT THING A COMEDIAN NEEDS IS A BAD CHILDHOOD. WHAT WOULD YOUR TED TALK BE ABOUT? EYELINER. DID YOU SEE MEL GIBSONS TED TALK? NO. DESCRIBE WHAT WINNIE AND KEVINS LIVES ARE LIKE NOW? I SEE WINNIE AT AUDITIONS. WHATS LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT? $$$

WHAT WILL YOUR FRAGRANCE BE CALLED? EYEROLL. WHO WOULD YOU RATHER DRINK WITH, LENNY BRUCE OR GEORGE CARLIN? GEORGE. THE SADDEST THING YOUVE EVER SEEN? KE$HA PERFORMING ON GOOD MORNING AMERICA. WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT, JESUS OR ALLAH? DEF ALLAH. THE WORST THING YOUVE EVER DONE? ONE TIME I WROTE TO MY PEN PAL IN IRELAND THAT SHE WAS A LOSER BECAUSE SHE DIDNT HAVE ELECTRICITY.

THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE? MAYOR CUTIE. HOMETOWN & STATE? ROCKFORD, IL (MOST MCDONALDS PER CAPITA) THE LAST TIME THAT YOU CRIED? RECENTLY ITS BEEN EVERY 45 MINUTES. YOUR FAVORITE DRUG? POT. WHAT DONT YOU WHAT PEOPLE TO KNOW ABOUT YOU? I MEDITATE AND IM 411.
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ELKIN DRESS, RACHEL PALLY NECKLACES, H&M BELT.

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www.denmbar.com

IF I HAD MONEY
a poem by Seymour Pin
If I had money Id buy parmesan cheese And a frozen dinner Id go to the art supply store and buy a bunch of 49 cent scrap board and some ink Id get a twenty dollar train pass Id go to a bar and buy a beer for everyone Id mail a statue to someone If I had money I dont know what Id do Id buy extra batteries and a book Id pay my sister back and go record shopping Id buy groceries for friends and cook a dinner With Tempranillo wine for Verne If I had money I would go to a restaurant with a woman And talk about how broke I used to be Id eat chocolate and pay admission fees Id buy some weed and cocaine If I had money I wouldnt have to sneak into batting cages Id buy a clothing rack and bunches of plain t-shirts Shoes, definitely new shoes If I had money Id take cabs around from place to place late at night How is it that some people have money? If I had money Id give you some After I got a blanket Id make digital pictures into real things Id get 500 copies of the greatest mash-ups of all time Id buy a press pass A CD duplicator And Id get my old mitt bronzed If I had money Id pay November rent The bills And get a surplus of household items Id get notebooks and go to the library Id have money in my pocket Id buy a pack of cigarettes Gregg has money and he always has two packs of cigarettes One on the table and one he had probably forgotten about in a box next to the couch If I had money Id go to Chicago April 19th Id dress in old suits and maintain an impeccable appearance

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MY LIFE WAITING [TABLES]

by ali baker

his bitter waitress had a bittersweet brush with nostalgia over the weekend while spending some time with two great friends from home. I enjoyed a beautiful Saturday off with my friends which made returning to work Sunday a monumental letdown. To add insult to injury, Sunday night was met with a consistent mix of rain and annoyed customers. Needless to say, I had a foul mood brewing and endured one of those shifts where you look at the clock every five minutes only to find that time is standing still. As the night wore on, my mix of sour mood and nostalgia for home left me thinking about the early days of my waitressing career. Once upon a time, I was less of a bitter waitress and more of a naive one thinking that waiting tables was nothing more than a fun summer job to put a little cash in my pocket. In those first months of slinging beers and cheesesteaks for a living, an old friend and seasoned veteran of the restaurant world gave me some biting advice that would ring true for years to come: Waiting tables is like selling your soul to the Devil. While this advice may seem dramatic considering that all I do for a living is take orders and deliver accordingly, I have found that waiting tables is indeed the equivalent of selling your soul to the Devil only at a measly rate of 0-20%.

its like being banged in the ass without getting kissed on the mouth.

Now I must take a moment to acknowledge that most people probably also feel as if a small part of them dies in the daily grind of their professions. Whether its missing out on important moments of your life while putting in a 90-hour workweek, enduring the daily rants of your douchebag boss, or dealing with customers that treat you as a barely capable half-wit, you have undoubtedly found yourself questioning your current career choice. A classic example for the bitter waitress is when a Manhattanite snob has the nerve to ask, in her most degrading tone of voice, Do you think you can handle that? while placing an order. While I am human and certainly make mistakes at my job, I can assure you that 95% of the time I can handle telling the kitchen to put your dressing on the side. I shared these thoughts last night with my fellow bitter servers as we endured an interminably long evening at work and found that they too felt that waiting tables was like selling your soul to the Devil. As Ray so aptly stated, Its like being banged in the ass without getting kissed on the mouth. So maybe we all sold our souls to the Devil, and maybe we all want to ring the necks of a handful of customers on any given day, but at least we are all in it together. And if we are all going to get banged in the ass without getting a goodnight kiss, then we have at least earned the right to bitch about it. Tip of the Day: If youve sold youre soul to the Devil to make a living, I suggest the following... 1. Pick up a healthy drug or alcohol addiction. 2. Get a dog. No matter what you do, mans best friends mission in life is to make it better. 3. Find a creative way to vent about how much you hate your job or find time to commiserate with your equally aggravated friends and coworkers. Take that Devil.

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PHOTOGRAPHER ANJELICA JARDIEL.

STYLIST VICTORIA ZENGO. HAIR CHRISTINE SLOPKO. MAKEUP CHERYL NACARIO. MODELS BRIANA SKYE, OLESIA KRASHCHENKO, ERIK DONLEY, ALEXANDRA RABE, LIZ LEYDA.

GIRLS SUNGLASSES LEFT TO RIGHT: RETRO SUPER FUTURE PEOPLE CARAMEL, SABRE VISION RUNAWAY TORTOISE, MOSCOT ADRIENNE BLACK HORN, MOSCOT ADRIENNE CRYSTAL

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CHOP SIOUXY TANK, SENECA RISING SKIRT, DOLCE VITA SANDALS, WILDFOX COUTURE NECKLACE, CHAN LUU 56 LEVELEDMAG.COM BRACELETS

CHOP SIOUXY TEE, UNIF DREW SHORTS, 80%20 WEDGE SANDALS, CHAN LUU BRACELETS

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CHOP SIOUXY TOP, DOLCE VITA ESPADRILLE WEDGE SANDALS, OBEY NECKLACE, CHAN LUU BRACELETS

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CHOP SIOUXY TANK, CHOP SIOUXY DENIM SHORTS, REPORT PLATFORM WEDGE SANDALS, LOW LUV RING LEVELEDMAG.COM 59

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HIM: MOSCOT EMERSON SUNGLASSES, SLVDR BROOKS TANK, INSIGHT RETRO STUD BUNKER SHORTS, CREATIVE RECREATION LACAVA SHOES

GIRLS SWIMSUITS LEFT TO RIGHT: WILDFOX COUTURE DAISY DENIM SINATRA BIKINI, STUSSY PROM CUT OUT ONE PIECE, INSIGHT CRYSTAL ONE PIECE, 62 LEVELEDMAG.COM INSIGHT WILD ONE PIECE

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www.80spurple.com

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CHOP SIOUXY SHORTS LEFT TO RIGHT: WILDFLOWER PEARL, WILDFLOWER DESERT ROSE, FORGET-ME-NOT NIGHT SHADE, WILDFLOWER LIGHT FLORAL DITZY.

CHOP SIOUXY TOPS LEFT TO RIGHT: CHLOE BLACKOUT HILO TANK, JOAN PEARL TANK, CHLOE RAZOR BLU HI-LO TANK, RUN WILD CUSTOM TEE. BRACELETS: CHAN LUU

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LEVELEDMAG.COM 67 HIM: TRANT CHILLA T-RANT-JUMBOTRON TEE.

An Open Letter
Advocating Peeing during Homeroom
Dear Reader, I am pretty sure that I was absent on key days while in school. Crucial. Days. During elementary school. High school. Wherein they passed out all of the vital information imperative to a successful adulthood. Indiana Jones style skeleton keys. Heres the missing portion of the ancient map that leads you through the ruins to the Island of the Well Acclimated. Maybe I was in the bathroom when it happened. I do have a very delicate bladder. As a kid, my dad never let us pee while on long distance car trips. Bathroom breaks would sabotage his master plan of always beating the apparently ever looming traffic along the I95. 14 hours of holding it in, in the back of a Crown Victoria your bladder is shot by age 8. Seriously. Destroyed. Were talking comparable to the urinary tract of a 73-year-old Italian woman, who as a girl was paid by the piece to work on the line of a Lower East Side button factory with no fire escape. Shot. So maybe, yes, I was in the bathroom and missed the doling out of lifes essential tidbits. This, boys and girls, is how you graciously exit an awkward conversation. Right here in this jar is something called follow-through. And with this here, love will be a 1-2-3 cinch. I only got long division and a scorched earth policy. Somehow, theyre just not as helpful.

Sincerely, Jamie Maleszka

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There is a salacious desire of using force, humiliation, and submission in sex. It may start with spanking, then turn into lightly slapping, and finally into jamming a panty down ones throat while being tied up. by anna j

s I was getting fingered in the back of the car, by this guy I had met only once before, he began to lightly choke me. A few things came to mind: 1) How did he know that I would be into this? 2) Ok, this feels good! 3) Hmm What if he really starts choking me? Is this how I die? Theres a fine, imaginary line in which on one side you have consensual, sexy playfulness, and on the other side, abusive and unwelcomed violence. Sexual encounters are becoming more aggressive and more violent, which inevitably further blurs that line during sex play. There is a salacious desire of using force, humiliation, and submission in sex. It may start with spanking, then turn into lightly slapping, and finally into jamming a panty down ones throat while being tied up, unable to do anything but moan and lightly dry heave from the lace/mesh of the panty. (Thanks, Jerk! You were supposed to moisten the panties so that wouldnt happen again.) It can be completely sexually satisfying, and send those endorphins into overdrive. Which, depending how hard you play can be a godsend, as long as both partners are into it and have discussed it! But then theres insane jealousy that stems from not trusting your partner (rightfully or unrightfully so), where all of a sudden youre throwing frying pans at them, and really anything else that you can get your hands on. Nevertheless, light BDSM makes things more interesting in the bedroom really any room, or car, or fill in the blank. For novices in kink, BDSM can mean several things; Bondage, my favorite and most iconic reference Bettie Page; Discipline, and let me tell you, I had to have lots of discipline as an undergrad constantly hearing party everyday of the week, or while saving up for Coachella; Dominance and submission, and sadomasochism. My new friend and I were talking about what roles we each prefer to play. I immediately said both, because I hate being typecast. Its L.A. nobody likes to be typecast! Just think of Elijah Wood and the rest of

his Hobbit friends, who might be forever seen as, well living in the Shire. Not to mention, in my previous long, boring ass relationship, I always had to make the decisions... for everything! I mean, it was ridiculous, Id ask things like, Hey, what should we order in today? Mmm I dunno, hed reply. Ok Thai, burgers, Italian? You choose. Wanna give me a hint? Preference? Anything so I can just order the goddamn food? Whatever, you choose. Some might call it easy-going, others lazy, or a bad relationship. But for me it was more. I just wanted to throw a frying pan at him, or the computer that he was glued in front of. It was a clear indication that a fine line had been crossed. Anyhow, I continued to explain to my friend that I just want someone to take the lead. He agreed with me, and mentioned he preferred to be dominant, but could go the other way too. But he had a twist to the general view of being dominant, whereas you can be submissive while being the dominant partner, because whatever your partners desires are, you are giving in to them. In his thought, by being dominant (which is what your partner wants) then you are submitting to their desires. Sure this made sense! I didnt need further explanation, so we went at it like bunnies. Like bunnies with masks, and collars, and silk rope and lots of lube; youll never see bunnies in the same light again. BDSM, which I can honestly separate into categories, and possibly talk about all day, should never be construed as abusive. Any act of violence involved has limitations that must be discussed and agreed on by both, or all, partners. And when I feel sad or angry when certain guys dont text back, and feel as though Im at their mercy, but then suddenly get pleasure when they do text or call, I think I prefer to say Im a masochist and want to be kinky instead.
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ROBERT DELONG

OFF STAGE WITH

PHOTOGRAPHED BY BEN MILLER

obert DeLong was a musical futurist, effortlessly fusing electronic dance music with traditional songwriter sensibilities. He was born into the Seattle suburb of Bothell, WA amidst the aural cacophony of the mid-1980s. Here he discovered his penchant for rhythm through the drum set.

Upon graduating high school, Robert packed up and moved down the coast to Los Angeles, where he immediately began drumming for multiple indie rock and folk bands. All the while he secretly developed his audio engineering and digital production chops, while continually writing songs.

In 2010, Robert began performing the tunes with MIDI interfaces, drum pads, keyboards and a laptop, eventually integrating game controllers, wii-motes, and a full acoustic drum set. Audiences immediately responded, and his show morphed into an audio-visual dance party experience, complete with live VJ, face painting, and a cult following known as the Tribe of Orphans.

After residencies in the OC and LA, opening for the likes of Dillon Francis, Starfucker and Porter Robinson, and successful performances throughout LA and at SXSW that garnered unanimously positive press, Robert was set up to lead the world into the next genre-integrating era, being hailed as The Future of Music. Unfortunately his success was his undoing: on May 15, 2012, Robert was struck down by a cyborg sent from the future to keep him from proliferating positive messages through his music. He is survived by his two laptops and the extended Tribe of Orphans.
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Why do you make music? Its easier than physics. Also, its like voluntary mind control. Did you think your life would be like this 10 years ago? I thought I would be an astronaut by now. Family Matters or Full House? Family Matters. Who will play you in your Bio Pic? Will Smith. Hometown and State? Bothell, Washington. Touring or Recording? Both, at the same time. What kind of kid were you? The kind that knew Q-Basic. Your Biggest Regret? Not learning how to skate. The home of the brave? More like home of the bro(step). 2Pac or Biggie? Mase. The biggest influence on your music? Popular Science & Partying. The Future? Ill tell you later. What do you hate? Nothing, but even that is pretty cool.

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Codi Barbini
there, and she has also stepped behind the camera as both a Producer/Director and Director of Photography. Most recently, she shot a sizzle reel in Alaska for Discovery Studios, and a music video for an up and coming rapper. Her work has been shown at the Annenberg Space for Photography, Space 360 (a Los Angeles gallery), The Venice Art Crawl, and pop-up galleries around LA. Ultimately, Codi is constantly striving for artistic expression; one that blurs the lines between the art and the commercial.

rt has been a life long passion, but Codis love for photography began when she was hired for an independent horror film at the age of 15. The photographs she took became the films one-

sheet, and she was hooked. At 17, Codis fashion photographs were featured in published magazine spreads. Since then, her work has ranged from fine art photography to photojournalism and fashion photography. Codis passion for art doesnt stop

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all photos shot and edited on an iPhone 4s by ali jardine

all photos shot and edited on an iPhone 4s by ali jardine

all photos shot and edited on an iPhone 4s by ali jardine

all photos shot and edited on an iPhone 4s by ali jardine

all photos shot and edited on an iPhone 4s by ali jardine

orn and raised in Northern Mississippi, Ali Jardine always knew that she wanted to be an artist. Her first art teacher was surrealist painter Annabelle Meacham, who guided her to create from dreams and fancies.

eventually led to Yosemite National Park. It was there she worked, hiked the Sierras, and fell in love with California and her husband. From the moment Ali got her first iPhone in 2009, she knew that iPhoneography was her passion. Today she shoots and edits entirely on her iPhone 4S. It is a challenge that constantly pushes her to think in new ways, and keeps her eyes open to the world around her.

iPhoneographer

Ali Jardine

These after-school classes would be pivotal in creating the way Ali looked at making art. After college, wanderlust took hold and sent her on a series of road trips across the United States that

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BRAVE THINGS Liberia

by NORA GORDON

W
This was messed up for two reasons: 1) He thought I had magical, American, white lady powers that could heal his eyes. 2) I dont.

ere leading workshops for youth and teachers in job training programs in Liberia. Yesterday one of my Liberian colleagues asked me, How often do you want to have babies? I said, Do you mean how many babies do I want to have, or how soon do I want to have babies? We stared at each other for a moment, and then both started laughing. He meant EXACTLY. What. He. Said. How often do you want to have babies? Every year? Every two years?

t one of our trainings, a 14-year-old boy named Morris pulled me aside. He said, Nora, can you help me with something? Then he took my hand. I said, Okay, of course. He said, I think you might be able to help me something happened to me. So I held onto his hand and walked him a few steps away from the school. Then he said, Its my eyes. I think something happened to them. He was cross-eyed. Oh Morris, Im so sorry. I said. I wish I could help you with your eyes. And then I asked him if he could get to a doctor. He didnt know. My mom is in a nearby town, he said. I asked his supervisors and they said his grandma might be able to take him, but it didnt sound very hopeful. This was messed up for two reasons: 1) He thought I had magical, American, white lady powers that could heal his eyes. 2) I dont.

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bryan sharp, writer wearing the Moscot Lemtosh sunglasses

genevieve dellinger, art producer wearing the Moscot Winston sunglasses

laura leon, photographer wearing the Moscot Cameron sunglasses

TORY BURCH ROUNDED CATEYE SUNGLASSES, AMERICAN APPAREL MICRO-MESH GLORIA-V BODYSUIT, LEVIS JEAN CUTOFFS FROM URBAN OUTFITTERS, HOUSE OF HOLLAND BANDANA TIGHTS, JEFFREY CAMPBELL ALL-OVER SPIKED LITA BOOTS

PHOTOGRAPHER DANIEL LEEB MODEL MIRANDA JAYNE GARRETT STYLIST JESUS VARELA

FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. E EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. E DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK. DREAM. EAT. FUCK.

POEM BY MATTHEW LEEB.

tax this
by Carl Withers

A lot of great ideas originated from Egypt - beer and wine, papyrus, geometry, the alphabet, and many others. But the contribution we all undoubtedly love the most is taxes.

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POLITICAL RANTS WITH CRAZY CARL

irst off, lets all thank the ancient Egyptians for introducing taxation to the world. A lot of great ideas originated from Egypt - beer and wine, papyrus (aka paper), geometry, the alphabet, and many others. But the contribution we all undoubtedly love the most is taxes. The implementation of taxes has enabled so many amazing achievements throughout time. Thousands of years ago it led to the building of the first irrigation canals, roads, and bridges. To this day, taxes still serve to better our communities and countries. There is one little catch though. Like the past, sometimes tax collections are used for things that some people dont agree with, such as war, high wages and benefits for politicians, education, health services, canals, roads, bridges and pretty much anything else that is funded by taxes. We never have a problem justifying an expense that serves our own particular interests, but God forbid any of us is forced to pay for something that isnt on our list. Lets face it, when it comes to money, we are all selfish and greedy to some extent. Its because in this day and age, money essentially equals security, and we all have an innate desire to feel secure. Those who have more are able to secure benefits for themselves that are beyond the grasp of those with less. When it comes to whether or not someone is able to afford a yacht, this isnt a big deal. However, necessities like food, shelter, and medical care are a different story. Taxation remedies this to a degree, by funding a broad safety net for those who have very little. There are some who strictly believe in the doctrine, every man for himself, and thus do not support the idea of having a safety net. However, there are a multitude of reasons why money and success eludes some people, and in most cases there are no easy explanations or solutions for this. Most successful people come from a dramatically different background than those who are at the bottom. While there are instances of people rising from poverty to wealth, they are rare. The

people born into poverty, abuse, neglect, etc., remain in this type of environment because these kinds of situations are very damaging, and create very few paths of opportunity. All the same, this logic is beyond those who choose not to accept it. Its very easy to reject something youve never experienced and dont understand. Moving on, lets direct our attention to where our tax dollars go. The most recent year we have conclusive data from is 2010. That year, the U.S. spent $3.5 trillion dollars on all of the Safety Net, Infrastructure, and Education programs. (By the way, these arent even the expensive programs.) Only $2.2 trillion was collected in taxes in 2010, which means there was a $1.3 trillion deficit that was covered through borrowing from other countries. When you add that to the other trillions of dollars we already owe, this is clearly a monumental problem. Its obvious that we are spending way beyond our means. The majority of our spending is on Defense and Security (20% - $705 billion), Social Security (20% - $707 billion), and Medicare, Medicaid and the Childrens Health Care Program or CHIP (21% - $732 billion). These programs all contain elements that can be made leaner and more efficient. However, members of Congress are scared to do anything because many Americans are hyper sensitive about any changes to these programs, and every member of Congress is afraid theyll lose their cushy jobs by actually doing their job. The fact is, we are wasting billions upon billions of dollars by maintaining status quo, and until we correct this, we will continue in a downward spiral. The question is how much longer can we continue this spiral until we reach the point of no return? We had best not find out. Major cuts and adjustments can, and need, to be made to all three of these programs, not just one or two. The sooner we demand and allow our Congressmen and women to do this, the better. Aside from needing to get a handle on our nations spending, we have another massive problem of wealthy people and corporations

skirting their duties as American taxpayers. For the most part, what theyre doing is technically legal. There are countless exemptions, deductions, subsidies, and tax shelters that have been written into our tax code over time. Most Americans dont know what they are, who they benefit, or why they even exist, other than the obvious reason of allowing certain people to pay less taxes. Just to give you an idea of how massively complicated the current U.S. tax code is, according to the US Government Printing Office, its 13,458 pages long. And rest assured, its massive and complicated on purpose because this allows it to be a gigantic mess that is basically too large to clean up. Despite pleas by many Americans and financial experts to streamline our tax code and remove most of what are basically kickbacks to the wealthy, the odds of that actually happening any time soon are slim. The majority of us are fully aware of the exorbitant amount of money thats thrown around in politics, both transparently and behind closed doors. However, theres no way to truly estimate how much money has been spent over the years buying political favors to create and maintain the majority of tax breaks that exist for the wealthy. According to the nonpartisan Joint Committee on Taxation, just the tax cuts alone that were passed in the early 2000s have cost our nation $1.7 trillion dollars of tax revenue. Thats almost $2 trillion dollars that the vast majority of us received no benefit from. And for the Conservatives out there, that huge loss is even after factoring in the feedback effect of revenue that was generated by actually having the tax cuts in place. In other words, the supposed benefits to our economy that arose from the most recent tax cuts were far more damaging than helpful. Thats not to say that some tax cuts dont actually stimulate economic growth as claimed, but not all tax cuts are created equal, and its high time we took a cold, hard look at where all this lost revenue is going. As mentioned earlier, in 2010 our country collected $2.2 trillion in tax revenue and spent roughly $3.5 trillion, resulting in a deficit of $1.3 trillion dollars that we had to cover by borrowing from other nations. These numbers have been fairly consistent for several years, and the current outlook for the future isnt much different unless we make some changes. These changes need to happen soon, because you can only rack up so many trillions of dollars in debt before it starts to look bad. So what is the solution for all of this? Well, its really very simple, for as complicated as the problems are. We need to cut spending and raise revenue. While this undoubtedly makes sense to most, there are some very loud, belligerent voices on both sides that reject this logic. Some say we simply dont collect enough money from taxes to fund our programs. Others say we have programs that are inefficient and wasteful, and thats why we cant afford them. This intense debate has raged for years, and the truly ironic thing about it all is that both sides are right. This isnt an either or decision, its a do both decision. Ultimately, both sides will have to give up something and thats why its been so hard to come to a consensus. No one ever wants to give up anything when it comes to money and benefits. Simply put, were all greedy and the sooner we admit it, the sooner we can put our emotions aside and start using our brains for a change.

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Leveled presents

The Introduction
May 3, 2012 Leveled hosted an evening of celebration, relief and debauchery as a salute to our premier issue of Leveled Magazine. All in all, The Introduction was a success. Gallery 360 Melrose in Los Angeles was packed with beautiful women and chivalrous men. Leveleds wall of questions was covered from the floor to as high as an arm can reach with the deepest darkest secrets of our attendees. Our friends at S.O.Terik locked down the back patio with live painting and as the booze ran out, we made our way to Hemmingways in Hollywood, CA for an after party hosted by our friends at Black Banditz. For more photos and the official The Introduction mugshots, visit www.leveledmag.com.

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