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GLORIFYING GOD IN YOUR SINGLENESS!

by Tamela R. Johnson

ARE YOU LIVING OR JUST EXISTING IN YOUR SINGLENESS? S P E C I A
ARE YOU LIVING OR JUST EXISTING IN YOUR SINGLENESS?
S P
E C I A L
"I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." - John 10:10
P
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O F
I N T E R E S T :
Singleness is a journey of growing in your trust of the Lord and believing that He has
Enjoy this season of
singleness. You’re
single, not dead!
a plan for your life. Whether you are single or married, the ultimate goal is to do the
will of the Father, fulfilling the purpose for which He has created you. If your season
The ultimate goal is to
glorify God and do
His will by fulfilling
the purpose for which
He called you.
of singleness is now, don’t just sit around waiting in idleness. Start taking advantage
of it now. This is a wonderful opportunity to travel, explore the world, meet new peo-
ple, develop lasting friendships, and most importantly, build a strong spiritual foun-
Jesus is the only
person who can give
you complete fulfill-
ment. Knowing Him is
what makes you
whole.
dation with God. Don’t put your life on hold waiting to be married. Remember,
you’re single, not dead.
GLORIFYING GOD IN YOUR SINGLENESS MEANS:
We don’t have to live
a defeated Christian
life. God has already
given us the victory.
He has already set us
free. We just need to
walk in it.
Living a Life of Purity (Holiness)
Living a Life of Service unto Others
Living a Life of Contentment
Living a Life of Purpose
Living a Life of Wholeness
Living a Life of Confidence in Christ
Living a Life Surrendered to God
Living a Life of Freedom and Victory
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Keys to
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Contentment
The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit.
1 Corinthians 7:34
The Struggle
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Purity is a TOTAL commitment of your life to God (a commitment to Godliness in
every area of your life). Living a life of purity starts with your choices.
Mistakes Single
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Women Make
You do not belong to yourself; you were bought with a price, therefore honor the
Lord with your body.- 1 Corinthians 6:20
Glorifying God in
your Courtship
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Guarding your heart and mind. We do not have to accept and dwell on every
Life Balance Wheel
Exercise
thought or image that drops into our minds.
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The Waiting Room
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Sanctify yourself. To sanctify means to be set apart unto God. Be mindful of
what you are exposing yourself to.
I AM…
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Come out from among them. God’s people are called to walk in holiness and
come out from among those who walk in the ways of this world.

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“…for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” Phil.4:11

Contentment: An internal satisfaction which does not de- mand changes in external circumstances.

As single women we spend a considerable amount of time focused on what we don’t have. If you are consumed with seeking after what you don’t have, you won’t enjoy what you have already been given.

The hole that we try to fill with other things is always going to be a God-shaped hole. God is the only hope you have for sat- isfaction and contentment. Does your hope for contentment rest on any other desire than the desire for God?

KEYS TO CONTENTMENT

Trust in God’s Sovereign Plan Recognize you are Blessed Stop Complaining Have a Thankful Spirit See things from God’s Perspective Take the focus off of yourself Learn to Enjoy Each Day Saturate yourself with Scriptures Pray Daily

Women long for the security of a relationship and may sacrifice everything, including their self-respect, to get it. True security is found in God alone.

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Only Jesus can fill those deep longing for uncon- ditional love and pur- pose. Only Jesus can heal your pain and make you whole not another person. Jesus is the only person who can give you complete fulfillment.

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Will thou be made whole.John 5:6

Oftentimes, the things we want and think we need are not necessarily things that will bring us happiness, and as any loving father would do, God may say “no” for our sakes. Even when we do not understand why, we must trust His infinite love and wisdom.

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The devil may try to fill you with fear of being alone but you are not alone because Jesus promised that He will never leave you or for- sake you. His love and healing touch will fill any void in your life.

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Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.Proverbs 3:5-6

Submit your will and desires to God and ask for His perfect will to be done. God is in charge and He knows what he is doing in your life.

You can trust that He has not lost control of your circumstances. His plan for your life reflects both His all-surpassing wisdom and His fathomless love for you. His plan is good and right, and you can trust Him with the details of your life.

Isaiah 55:8-9 - For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11

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Single women can make lasting contributions in

the lives of others by getting involved in minis-

tries of giving and service. Use your gifts and tal-

ents for the Lord.

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What is your purpose, calling and/or ministry?

What is your passion? What are your gifts and tal-

ents? Are you using them to serve others?

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Our confidence does not stem from ourselves or anyone else, but rather the redeeming work of Jesus

Christ. Sometime we underestimate who we are in Christ. Know and be confident in who you. Recognize

the jewel that you are and enjoy life with great anticipation of the blessings to come.

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Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage. Galatians 5:1

But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.- 1 Cor 15:57

What makes us different from the world is that we have God’s own Spirit living on the inside of us.

that we have God’s own Spirit living on the inside of us.  God has given

God has given us his grace and enabling strength to do what we could not do on our own.

Though Jesus, we have power and authority over the enemy and anything he tries to send our way.

We don’t have to live a defeated Christian life. God has already given us the vic- tory. He has set us free. We just need to walk in it. Whom the son set free is free indeed. - John 8:36

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One of the most difficult struggles for today's Christian singles is the temptation of premarital sex. A recent survey of unmarried evangelical Christians ages 18-39 have found that:

80% have had pre-marital sex, and two-thirds have been sexu- ally active within the last year.

42% are currently in a sexual relationship.

67% of youth (under 18) are sexually active before marriage.

CHILDREN: In 1966, 6% of white babies where born out of wedlock, now its up to 25%. In 1966, 22% of black babies were born out of wedlock, now it’s up to 66%.

HIV/AIDS EPIDEMIC THE BLACK COMMUNITY

Black Americans represent only 12% of the U.S. population, but account for 44% of new HIV infections in 2009.

Black women account for the largest share of new HIV infections (57% in 2009) and AIDS diagnosis (64% in 2009).

Black teens (ages 13-19) represent only 17% of U.S. teenagers, but account for 68% of new AIDS diagnosis among teens in 2009.

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Making decisions based on emotions and not taking heed to the voice of the Holy Spirit.

Subjecting your heart to foolish choices.

Getting involved in a sexual relationship with a man who is not your husband.

In love with the idea of marriage but not making preparations to be a wife.

Misinterpreting the attention of the opposite sex.

Settling for less or going back to what’s “familiar”

Believing that your time is running out

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THE PROGRESSIVE COURSE OF PHYSICAL INTIMACY

Exercise self-control

 

Establish Boundaries

 

Look

 

Touch

Pay attention to how you dress

   

Lightly holding hands

Have someone hold you accountable

 

Constantly holding hands

   

Light kiss

Saturate yourself in the Word

 

Strong kiss

 

French kiss

PRAY, PRAY, and PRAY!!! Ask God

 

Fondling breasts

for wisdom and guidance in making

Fondling sexual organs

right decisions during this time of

 

Sexual intercourse

courting that brings glory to Him.

 

At which point should boundaries be established?

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Placing marriage on a pedestal next to God, thinking it will give them a sense of purpose.

Believing that marriage will medicate all the pains of singleness and solve those deepest longings.

Using singleness as an excuse to not get on with the business of living.

Missing the significance of the present moment.

Not taking advantage of this time to experience life.

Being short-sighted about life.

Being completely self-involved.

G L O R I F Y C O U R T S H
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Consult God about your relationship.

Is this in God’s will? Is this the suit-

able partner God has for you? If you

pay close enough attention and have

an open ear, He will let you know.

Purpose in your heart to live a life of

holiness and stick to it.

Know your areas of weakness.

Don’t put yourself in compromising

situations that will subject you to fall.

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Have I put God’s agenda for my life above my own desire?

Have I dealt with my deepest insecurities, past hurts and sins with Him alone?

Will I actively wait or incessantly whine until God brings me His best?

Will I settle for Mr. Right Now or wait for Mr. Right?

If I entered into a relationship, what do I have to offer?

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P a g e 5 L I F E B A L A N C E

L I F E

B A L A N C E

W H E E L

It can be difficult to get a handle on your life in terms of what is going well and what could use attention. Do this simple exercise to help you gain a new perspective on the level of balance and integration in your life:

On the Life Balance Wheel, look at the eight categories which make up a balanced life.

Then ask yourself: “In my life now, how satisfied am I in each of these areas?”

With the hub as 0 (very unsatisfied), and the rim of the wheel as 10 (very satisfied), rate your level of sat- isfaction in each area.

Shade in each area with your ranking in order to create a new outer edge on your wheel.

As with a physical wheel, if all of your scores, or spokes on the wheel, extend to a perfect 10 (very satisfied) then the rim of your life wheel is completely circular and will roll smoothly. However, if your scores are less than 10 and uneven, you may be experiencing a bumpy ride!

than 10 and uneven, you may be experiencing a bumpy ride! Things I will START doing

Things I will START doing to gain balance in my life:

Things I will STOP doing, reprioritize or delegate:

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P a g e 6 THE WAITING ROOM The future bridegroom had waited for a long

THE WAITING ROOM

The future bridegroom had waited for a long time. But then again, she was worth waiting for. He had known that she was the one from the first time he caught a glimpse of those eyes, wide with wonder, gazing at a sunset in the distance. She was quiet, saying nothing, unaware that he was watching her.

Months earlier, the buying ceremony conducted by his parents and hers had begun the betrothal period. He had gladly invested the large chunk of his life savings to ensure that she would wait for him. His bride would be as pure and untouched as she was when he had first seen her.

Often he dreamed of the day when he would be privileged to care for her, touch her so tenderly, and give his all to her. But for now, obedient to custom, they were in a time of separation and preparation. He was carefully working on some fine furniture for their little home. She was preparing her wedding dress, the gown that would be as precious and pure as the bride itself.

Soon the night would come when he would go with his attendants to her home. She would hear the sound of the trumpet and come to the window. Her eyes would search for him, for him alone. Then at last he could claim her, could touch her, could escort her to the wedding feast. And when the feast finally ended, she would be his, his alone, for the rest of their lives.

Almighty God, Today I choose to trust you and put your will and plan above my own. Orchestrate every one of my footsteps. May my life bring glory and honor to your name. I pray that you will help me to keep from attaching myself to another man out of desperation. I will not settle for a relationship that's second best, convenient, or one that feeds my insecurities. Help me to guard my purity and give me the pa- tience to wait. And when I meet him, confirm to me that he is the one. Release me from the baggage of past relationships, and prepare me for the man You have chosen to be my husband. Free me from any hindrances to a healthy and godly marriage: insecurities, habitual sins, selfishness, and emotional hurts. Dispel my unrealistic expectations that set me up for disappointment. I place my trust in you rather than my partner. In this period of waiting, I will look to you alone to be my companion and best friend. You are the one who redeems my life from the pit, who crowns me with love and compassion, who satisfies my desires with good things (Psalm 103:4-5). I will not be anxious, but as I present my requests to you, flood me with the peace that surpasses all understanding so my heart and my mind are guarded in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6, 7). In this request, I commit myself to trust you and do good , to dwell in the land and feed on your faithfulness. I commit my way to you and trust that you will bring it to pass (Psalm 37:35). In Jesus' Name, Amen!

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P a g e 7 I AM I AM - A Child of God (Romans 8:16)

I AM

I AM - A Child of God (Romans 8:16)

I AM - Redeemed from the Hand of the Enemy (Psalm 107:2)

I AM - Forgiven (Colossians 1:13,14)

I AM - Saved by Grace through Faith (Ephesians 2:8)

I AM - Justified (Romans 5:1)

I AM - Sanctified (I Corinthians 6:11)

I AM - A New Creature (II Corinthians 5:17)

I AM - Partaker of His Divine Nature (II Peter 1:4)

I AM - Redeemed from the Curse of the Law (Galatians 3:13)

I AM - Delivered from the Powers of Darkness (Colossians 1:13)

I AM - Led by the Spirit of God (Romans 8:14)

I AM - Free From All Bondage (John 8:36)

I AM - Kept in Safety Wherever I Go (Psalm 91:11)

I AM - Getting All My Needs Met by Jesus (Philippians 4:19)

I AM - Casting All My Cares on Jesus (I Peter 5:7)

I AM - Strong in the Lord and in the Power of His Might (Ephesians 6:10)

I AM - Doing All Things through Christ Who Strengthens Me (Philippians 4:13)

I AM - An Heir of God and a Joint Heir with Jesus (Romans 8:17)

I AM - Heir to the Blessings of Abraham (Galatians 3:13, 14)

I AM - Observing and Doing the Lord's Commandments (Deuteronomy 28:I2)

I AM - Blessed Coming in and Blessed Going out (Deuteronomy 28:6)

I AM - An Heir of Eternal Life (I John 5:11, 12)

I AM - Blessed with All Spiritual Blessings (Ephesians 1:3)

I AM - Healed by His Stripes (I Peter 2:24)

I AM - Exercising My Authority over the Enemy (Luke 10:19)

I AM - Above Only and Not Beneath (Deuteronomy 28:13)

I AM - More than a Conqueror (Romans 8:37)

I AM - Establishing God's Word Here on Earth (Matthew 16:19)

I AM - An Overcomer by the Blood of the Lamb and the Word of My Testimony (Rev. 12:11)

I AM - Daily overcoming the Devil (I John 4:4)

I AM - Not Moved by What I See (II Corinthians 4:18)

I AM - Walking by Faith and Not by Sight (II Corinthians 5:7)

TAMELA R. JOHNSON

TAMELA R. JOHNSON Tamela Johnson serves as an Adult Sunday School teacher and leader of the

Tamela Johnson serves as an Adult Sunday School teacher and leader of the

Singles ministry at Family of Prayer and Praise COGIC under the leadership

of Dr. Don Ferguson. She has a Master of Business Administration degree

from California State University Los Angeles, and uses her skills to serve as

the Finance Secretary for the Greater Open Door District Department of

Women under District Missionary Paulette Holt.

In March 2012, Tamela started SINGLES… LET’S TALK, a ministry where singles of all ages can

grow spiritually and gain support through biblical teaching, encouragement, prayer, and the use

of visual presentation (monologues and skits). “Due to the many temptations and external influ-

ences in the world today, a lot of Christian singles are struggling and lack adequate support,” she

said. “As a result, it is affecting their walk and relationship with God, and their ability to be an ef-

fective witness for Christ”. SINGLES… LET’S TALK addresses these root issues by establishing a plat-

form where singles can be open and transparent about their struggles without feeling judged or

condemned. The ministry is one that promotes living a life of holiness, waiting on God, growing

This story can fit 175-225 words.

If

If you have any prices of standard prod-

ucts or services, you can include a listing

in Christ Jesus, and being an example to others. Some of the topics include “Letting go of the Bag-

of those here. You may want to refer your readers to any other forms of com-

this story will appear on the back. So,

gage”, “Run and Don’t look back”, “No more Counterfeits”, and “Lord, when is it gonna be my

it’s a good idea to make it easy to read at

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munication that you’ve created for your

organization.

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readers to mark their calendars for a regular event, such as a breakfast meet-

turn”, just to name a few.

question and answer session is a good

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way to quickly capture the attention of

readers. You can either compile ques-

tions that you’ve received since the last

Tamela also manages a blog entitled FROM THE HEART OF A WOMAN RESTORED, where she

edition or you can summarize some

generic questions that are frequently

ing for vendors every third Tuesday of

the month, or a biannual charity auction.

writes devotionals, words of encouragement, and provides godly insight to women seeking

asked about your organization.

If space is available, this is a good place

to insert a clip art image or some other

wholeness and healing. Her writings stems from her own personal experiences which she kept in a

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listing of names and titles of managers

in your organization is a good way to

graphic.

your newsletter is folded and mailed,

journal over the course of a two-year period. Her future plan is to compile those writings into a

give your newsletter a personal touch. If

your organization is small, you may

devotional book for women. You can find her writings at www.womanrestored.com.

want to list the names of all employees.