GLORIFYING GOD IN YOUR SINGLENESS!

by Tamela R. Johnson
S P EC I A L P O IN T S O F IN T E R E S T :
Enjoy this season of singleness. Youre single, not dead! The ultimate goal is to glorify God and do His will by fulfilling the purpose for which He called you. Jesus is the only person who can give you complete fulfillment. Knowing Him is what makes you whole. We dont have to live a defeated Christian life. God has already given us the victory. He has already set us free. We just need to walk in it.

ARE YOU LIVING OR JUST EXISTING IN YOUR SINGLENESS?

"I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." - John 10:10

Singleness is a journey of growing in your trust of the Lord and believing that He has a plan for your life. Whether you are single or married, the ultimate goal is to do the will of the Father, fulfilling the purpose for which He has created you. If your season of singleness is now, dont just sit around waiting in idleness. Start taking advantage of it now. This is a wonderful opportunity to travel, explore the world, meet new people, develop lasting friendships, and most importantly, build a strong spiritual foundation with God. Dont put your life on hold waiting to be married. Remember, youre single, not dead.

GLORIFYING GOD IN YOUR SINGLENESS MEANS:

Living a Life of Purity (Holiness) Living a Life of Contentment Living a Life of Wholeness Living a Life Surrendered to God Living a Life of Service unto Others Living a Life of Purpose Living a Life of Confidence in Christ Living a Life of Freedom and Victory

W H A T S

I N S I D E

Keys to Contentment The Struggle Mistakes Single Women Make Glorifying God in your Courtship Life Balance Wheel Exercise The Waiting Room

A
2

L I F E

O F

P U R I T Y

The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. 1 Corinthians 7:34

Purity is a TOTAL commitment of your life to God (a commitment to Godliness in every area of your life). Living a life of purity starts with your choices.

You do not belong to yourself; you were bought with a price, therefore honor the Lord with your body.- 1 Corinthians 6:20 Guarding your heart and mind. We do not have to accept and dwell on every thought or image that drops into our minds. Sanctify yourself. To sanctify means to be set apart unto God. Be mindful of what you are exposing yourself to. Come out from among them. Gods people are called to walk in holiness and come out from among those who walk in the ways of this world.

I AM

P a g e

L I F E

O F

C O N T E N T M E N T

for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. Phil.4:11

Contentment: An internal satisfaction which does not demand changes in external circumstances. As single women we spend a considerable amount of time focused on what we dont have. If you are consumed with seeking after what you dont have, you wont enjoy what you have already been given. The hole that we try to fill with other things is always going to be a God-shaped hole. God is the only hope you have for satisfaction and contentment. Does your hope for contentment rest on any other desire than the desire for God?

KEYS TO CONTENTMENT Trust in Gods Sovereign Plan Recognize you are Blessed Stop Complaining Have a Thankful Spirit See things from Gods Perspective Take the focus off of yourself Learn to Enjoy Each Day Saturate yourself with Scriptures Pray Daily

L I F E

O F

W H O L E N E S S
The devil may try to fill you with fear of being alone but you are not alone because Jesus promised that He will never leave you or forsake you. His love and healing touch will fill any void in your life.

Will thou be made whole. John 5:6

Women long for the security of a relationship and may sacrifice everything, including their self-respect, to get it. True security is found in God alone.

Only Jesus can fill those deep longing for unconditional love and purpose. Only Jesus can heal your pain and make you whole not another person. Jesus is the only person who can give you complete fulfillment.

Oftentimes, the things we want and think we need are not necessarily things that will bring us happiness, and as any loving father would do, God may say no for our sakes. Even when we do not understand why, we must trust His infinite love and wisdom.

L I F E

S U R R E N D E R E D

T O

G O D

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

Submit your will and desires to God and ask for His perfect will to be done. God is in charge and He knows what he is doing in your life.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, You can trust that He has not lost control of your circumstances. His plan for saith the LORD, your life reflects both His all-surpassing wisdom and His fathomless love for you. His plan is good and right, and you can trust Him with the details of your thoughts of peace, and not of life. evil, to give you Isaiah 55:8-9 - For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways an expected end. my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are Jeremiah 29:11
my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

P a g e

L I F E

O F

S E R V I C E

L I F E

O F

P U R P O S E

Single women can make lasting contributions in the lives of others by getting involved in ministries of giving and service. Use your gifts and talents for the Lord. A L I F E O F

What is your purpose, calling and/or ministry? What is your passion? What are your gifts and talents? Are you using them to serve others?

C O N F I D E N C E

Our confidence does not stem from ourselves or anyone else, but rather the redeeming work of Jesus Christ. Sometime we underestimate who we are in Christ. Know and be confident in who you. Recognize the jewel that you are and enjoy life with great anticipation of the blessings to come. A

Stand fast therefore in the What makes us different from the world is that we have Gods own Spirit living on liberty the inside of us. wherewith Christ hath God has given us his grace and enabling strength to do what we could not do on made us free, our own. and be not Though Jesus, we have power and authority over the enemy and anything he tries entangled again to send our way. with the yoke of We dont have to live a defeated Christian life. God has already given us the vicbondage. tory. He has set us free. We just need to walk in it. Whom the son set free is free Galatians 5:1
But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.- 1 Cor 15:57

L I F E

O F

F R E E D O M

A N D

V I C T O R Y

indeed. - John 8:36

T H E S T R U G G L E ( S t a t i s t i c s )
One of the most difficult struggles for today's Christian singles is the temptation of premarital sex. A recent survey of unmarried evangelical Christians ages 18-39 have found that: 80% have had pre-marital sex, and two-thirds have been sexually active within the last year. 42% are currently in a sexual relationship. 67% of youth (under 18) are sexually active before marriage.

HIV/AIDS EPIDEMIC THE BLACK COMMUNITY

Black Americans represent only 12% of the U.S. population, but account for 44% of new HIV infections in 2009. Black women account for the largest share of new HIV infections (57% in 2009) and AIDS diagnosis (64% in 2009). Black teens (ages 13-19) represent only

CHILDREN: In 1966, 6% of white babies where born out of wedlock, now its up to 25%. In 1966, 22% of black babies were born out of wedlock, now its up to 66%.

17% of U.S. teenagers, but account for 68% of new AIDS diagnosis among teens in 2009.

P a g e

M I S T A K E S

S I N G L E

W O M E N

M A K E

Placing marriage on a pedestal next to God, thinking it will give them a sense of purpose. Believing that marriage will medicate all the pains of singleness and solve those deepest longings. Using singleness as an excuse to not get on with the business of living. Missing the significance of the present moment. Not taking advantage of this time to experience life. Being short-sighted about life. Being completely self-involved.

Making decisions based on emotions and not taking heed to the voice of the Holy Spirit. Subjecting your heart to foolish choices. Getting involved in a sexual relationship with a man who is not your husband. In love with the idea of marriage but not making preparations to be a wife. Misinterpreting the attention of the opposite sex. Settling for less or going back to whats familiar Believing that your time is running out

G L O R I F Y I N G G O D I N Y O U R C O U R T S H I P / R E L A T I O N S H I P
Consult God about your relationship. Exercise self-control

THE PROGRESSIVE COURSE OF PHYSICAL INTIMACY Look Touch Lightly holding hands Constantly holding hands Light kiss Strong kiss French kiss Fondling breasts Fondling sexual organs Sexual intercourse At which point should boundaries be established?

Is this in Gods will? Is this the suit- Establish Boundaries able partner God has for you? If you Pay attention to how you dress pay close enough attention and have an open ear, He will let you know.
Purpose in your heart to live a life of Have someone hold you accountable Saturate yourself in the Word PRAY, PRAY, and PRAY!!! Ask God

holiness and stick to it.

Know your areas of weakness. Dont put yourself in compromising

for wisdom and guidance in making right decisions during this time of courting that brings glory to Him.

situations that will subject you to fall.

Q U E S T I O N S

T O

A S K

Y O U R S E L F

Have I put Gods agenda for my life above my own desire? Have I dealt with my deepest insecurities, past hurts and sins with Him alone? Will I actively wait or incessantly whine until God brings me His best? Will I settle for Mr. Right Now or wait for Mr. Right? If I entered into a relationship, what do I have to offer?

P a g e

LIFE BALANCE WHEEL

It can be difficult to get a handle on your life in terms of what is going well and what could use attention. Do this simple exercise to help you gain a new perspective on the level of balance and integration in your life:

On the Life Balance Wheel, look at the eight categories which make up a balanced life. Then ask yourself: In my life now, how satisfied am I in each of these areas? With the hub as 0 (very unsatisfied), and the rim of the wheel as 10 (very satisfied), rate your level of satisfaction in each area. Shade in each area with your ranking in order to create a new outer edge on your wheel.

As with a physical wheel, if all of your scores, or spokes on the wheel, extend to a perfect 10 (very satisfied) then the rim of your life wheel is completely circular and will roll smoothly. However, if your scores are less than 10 and uneven, you may be experiencing a bumpy ride!

Things I will START doing to gain balance in my life: ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________

Things I will STOP doing, reprioritize or delegate: _____________________________________________ _____________________________________________ _____________________________________________ _____________________________________________

P a g e

THE WAITING ROOM

The future bridegroom had waited for a long time. But then again, she was worth waiting for. He had known that she was the one from the first time he caught a glimpse of those eyes, wide with wonder, gazing at a sunset in the distance. She was quiet, saying nothing, unaware that he was watching her. Months earlier, the buying ceremony conducted by his parents and hers had begun the betrothal period. He had gladly invested the large chunk of his life savings to ensure that she would wait for him. His bride would be as pure and untouched as she was when he had first seen her. Often he dreamed of the day when he would be privileged to care for her, touch her so tenderly, and give his all to her. But for now, obedient to custom, they were in a time of separation and preparation. He was carefully working on some fine furniture for their little home. She was preparing her wedding dress, the gown that would be as precious and pure as the bride itself. Soon the night would come when he would go with his attendants to her home. She would hear the sound of the trumpet and come to the window. Her eyes would search for him, for him alone. Then at last he could claim her, could touch her, could escort her to the wedding feast. And when the feast finally ended, she would be his, his alone, for the rest of their lives.

Almighty God, Today I choose to trust you and put your will and plan above my own. Orchestrate every one of my footsteps. May my life bring glory and honor to your name. I pray that you will help me to keep from attaching myself to another man out of desperation. I will not settle for a relationship that's second best, convenient, or one that feeds my insecurities. Help me to guard my purity and give me the patience to wait. And when I meet him, confirm to me that he is the one. Release me from the baggage of past relationships, and prepare me for the man You have chosen to be my husband. Free me from any hindrances to a healthy and godly marriage: insecurities, habitual sins, selfishness, and emotional hurts. Dispel my unrealistic expectations that set me up for disappointment. I place my trust in you rather than my partner. In this period of waiting, I will look to you alone to be my companion and best friend. You are the one who redeems my life from the pit, who crowns me with love and compassion, who satisfies my desires with good things (Psalm 103:4-5). I will not be anxious, but as I present my requests to you, flood me with the peace that surpasses all understanding so my heart and my mind are guarded in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6, 7). In this request, I commit myself to trust you and do good , to dwell in the land and feed on your faithfulness. I commit my way to you and trust that you will bring it to pass (Psalm 37:35). In Jesus' Name, Amen!

P a g e

I AM...
I AM - A Child of God (Romans 8:16) I AM - Redeemed from the Hand of the Enemy (Psalm 107:2) I AM - Forgiven (Colossians 1:13,14) I AM - Saved by Grace through Faith (Ephesians 2:8) I AM - Justified (Romans 5:1) I AM - Sanctified (I Corinthians 6:11) I AM - A New Creature (II Corinthians 5:17) I AM - Partaker of His Divine Nature (II Peter 1:4) I AM - Redeemed from the Curse of the Law (Galatians 3:13) I AM - Delivered from the Powers of Darkness (Colossians 1:13) I AM - Led by the Spirit of God (Romans 8:14) I AM - Free From All Bondage (John 8:36) I AM - Kept in Safety Wherever I Go (Psalm 91:11) I AM - Getting All My Needs Met by Jesus (Philippians 4:19) I AM - Casting All My Cares on Jesus (I Peter 5:7) I AM - Strong in the Lord and in the Power of His Might (Ephesians 6:10) I AM - Doing All Things through Christ Who Strengthens Me (Philippians 4:13) I AM - An Heir of God and a Joint Heir with Jesus (Romans 8:17) I AM - Heir to the Blessings of Abraham (Galatians 3:13, 14) I AM - Observing and Doing the Lord's Commandments (Deuteronomy 28:I2) I AM - Blessed Coming in and Blessed Going out (Deuteronomy 28:6) I AM - An Heir of Eternal Life (I John 5:11, 12) I AM - Blessed with All Spiritual Blessings (Ephesians 1:3) I AM - Healed by His Stripes (I Peter 2:24) I AM - Exercising My Authority over the Enemy (Luke 10:19) I AM - Above Only and Not Beneath (Deuteronomy 28:13) I AM - More than a Conqueror (Romans 8:37) I AM - Establishing God's Word Here on Earth (Matthew 16:19) I AM - An Overcomer by the Blood of the Lamb and the Word of My Testimony (Rev. 12:11) I AM - Daily overcoming the Devil (I John 4:4) I AM - Not Moved by What I See (II Corinthians 4:18) I AM - Walking by Faith and Not by Sight (II Corinthians 5:7) I AM - Casting Down Vain Imaginations (II Corinthians 10:4, 5)

TAMELA R. JOHNSON
Tamela Johnson serves as an Adult Sunday School teacher and leader of the Singles ministry at Family of Prayer and Praise COGIC under the leadership of Dr. Don Ferguson. She has a Master of Business Administration degree from California State University Los Angeles, and uses her skills to serve as the Finance Secretary for the Greater Open Door District Department of Women under District Missionary Paulette Holt.

In March 2012, Tamela started SINGLES LETS TALK, a ministry where singles of all ages can grow spiritually and gain support through biblical teaching, encouragement, prayer, and the use of visual presentation (monologues and skits). Due to the many temptations and external influences in the world today, a lot of Christian singles are struggling and lack adequate support, she said. As a result, it is affecting their walk and relationship with God, and their ability to be an effective witness for Christ. SINGLES LETS TALK addresses these root issues by establishing a platform where singles can be open and transparent about their struggles without feeling judged or condemned. The ministry is one that promotes any pricesaoflife of holiness, waiting on God, growing This story can fit 175-225 words. If you have living standard prodyour newsletter is folded and mailed, in ChristIfJesus, and being an example to others. Some ofwant totopics include Letting go of the Bagthe refer of those here. You may ucts or services, you can include a listing your readers to any other forms of comorganization. this story will appear on the back. So, its a good idea to make it easy to read at Run and Dont look back, a glance.

gage,

No more that youve created for your Lord, when is it gonna be my Counterfeits, and munication

turn, justquestion and answer session is a good A to name a few.

You can also use this space to remind way to quickly capture the attention of readers to mark their calendars for a readers. You can either compile quesregular event, such as a breakfast meettions that youve received since the last ing for vendors HEART OF A WOMAN RESTORED, where she Tamela edition manages a blogsome also or you can summarize entitled FROM THE every third Tuesday of the month, or a biannual charity auction. generic questions that are frequently writes devotionals, organization. encouragement, and this is a good place words of provides godly insight to women seeking asked about your If space is available, to insert a clip art image or some other A listing names and Her writings wholeness andofhealing. titles of managers stems from her own personal experiences which she kept in a graphic. in your organization is a good way to journal give your newsletter a personaltwo-year period. Her future plan is to compile those writings into a over the course of a touch. If your organization is small, you may want to list the names of all employees. devotional book for women. You can find her writings at www.womanrestored.com.