8 Rules To Help Your Child Get An Athletic Scholarship

Excerpted From Athletes Wanted

The Complete Game Plan for Maximizing Athletic Scholarship and Life Potential

By CHRIS KRAUSE
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The Complete Game Plan for Maximizing Athletic Scholarship and Life Potential

Parents Role

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FOR PARENTS, the recruiting process can be one of the greatest challengesa test of patience, endurance, and discipline all wrapped into one exhilarating yet anxiety-plagued package. In some ways, parents have been preparing for this time since rst enrolling their child in AYSO soccer, Little League baseball, or Pop Warner football. ey have invested time, money, and sweat for a decade. It can feel as if Mom and Dad have almost as much at stake as the athlete does. A parents primary challenge is to walk the ne line between guiding the athlete through the process and becoming overbearing. Parents might be tempted to take full control, especially when they see how overwhelming the experience can be. A parents goal is to nd the middle ground between a hands o parent and one who micromanages every move the student makes. ese parents o er a certain threat to their children. By taking complete control of the process, these parents jeopardize their childrens ability to learn and grow from the experience. As well, they can annoy the living daylights out of college coaches. Bob Chmiel, NCSA Education Speaker and former football coach at Notre Dame, said he stayed a mile away from children of we dads. You always know who the we dads are because they start every sentence with the word we. We are applying to Georgetown. We had a great season.

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Chmiel goes on to explain that college coaches do not want to be distracted by overbearing, meddlesome parents, so a parent who seems too controlling might actually hurt an otherwise-quali ed students ability to be recruited. Perhaps Chris Ducar, North Carolinas assistant womens soccer coach put it best. Ducar once told me that in his twelve years as a coach, he has never once recruited a mom or dad to play for him.

It isnt unusual to drop a prospect from the recruiting board because the parents are a problem, said Randy Taylor, former recruiting coordinator for UCLA .
Some parents, on the other hand, take a completely hands-o approach, even though the athlete is still a teenager and can lose focus. A gentle guiding hand is the perfect touch, though not always easy for a parent to produce. THE PARENTS GOLDEN RULES Rule #1: Dont be a helicopter mom or we dad. is rule applies regardless of how old a child is, and whether dealing with a child, athletic director, high school coach, college coach, or Pee Wee football coach. A helicopter parent hovers over the child, not allowing her to grow or act for herself. A we parent lives vicariously through the childs accomplishments. Remember, in the parent/student-athlete relationship, the student-athlete must become the team captain! e greater load the student-athlete takes and is able to handle, the better. is particularly applies to communicating with the coach.

COACHS TIP

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Parents Role

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When a parent might be well spoken and articulate, a studentathlete might mutter, stumble over sentences, and shake at the thought of approaching a coach. e parents rst inclination might be to jump in and rescue a child from her edgling attempts at communication. But consider the college coachs perspective. Who would the coach rather hear from: the parent, or the student-athlete who will play for the program for the next four or ve years? Coaches are impressed by students who initiate conversations. As di cult as it might be for students to muster the courage to call coaches, student-athletes abilities to represent themselves is critical to the recruiting process. And the earlier parents can loosen the reins, the better. By allowing children to communicate directly with elementary, junior high, and high school coaches, parents will allow their children to grow con dent, which means the athletes will make great rst impressions when they pick up the phone to call their rst college coach. A parent actually detracts from a high school students ability to learn a valuable skill set if she marches into the coachs o ce every time there is a con ict or every time she thinks her son is not getting enough playing time, said Joyce Wellhoefer, who has coached for high school and college basketball, so ball, and volleyball programs. A high school athlete will have only one chance to make a rst impression on a college coach. Con dence will be critical to this interaction, so early opportunities to communicate with adults is critical to an athletes success down the road. From a recruitment perspective, Carmen Bucci, a former San Diego Padre, agreed. If a college coach receives phone call a er phone call from a parent, the coach might start to think that the parent is a nuisance, which could cost the child his athletic scholarship. Does this mean the best approach for parents is to send their child into an unfamiliar, sometimes-scary world completely alone? Of course not!

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Parents Role

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Don Beebe, a former member of six Super Bowl teams, now runs a program called House of Speed in which he teaches athletes to build character through sports. e most important role he sees for parents is to create an environment that fosters positive growth. Beebe had the following advice for parents: e biggest thing is to stop putting pressure on kids. If playing sports is her passion, back her and support her. If a child puts her heart and soul into a game and still loses, a parent should pat her on the back with as much enthusiasm as if she had beat a world record.

The mark of a good parent is an athlete who succeeds even without parents looking over his shoulders, said Chmiel.

COACHS TIP

RULE #2: TEACH HUMILITY. On the ip side, young athletesespecially those who are talentedcan receive too much support, develop attitude problems, and become less motivated in important activities outside of their sport. Quality parenting can make the di erence between a child who thinks he is king of the world and a humble, gracious child who works hard and excels as an athlete and a student, said Michel Balasis, the former kicker for Michigan State University and head of Loyola Universitys department of visual communications. Student-athletes are a mixed bag. Because they are great athletes, the pampered ones think they can skate by, said Balasis, noting they are easy to spot for their lack of work ethic. But Balasis takes notice of the students whose parents expect more of them. ese students are also easy to spot because of their rigorous work ethic and ability to go the extra mile.

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Parents Role

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Parents are primarily responsible for their childrens attitude. Children who strut into class thinking they will sail by because they are student-athletes will learn a lesson later in life. Parents who teach their children early to work hard will save their children from years of su ering while in college and later during their careers. Teach your kids that they need to earn what they have, agreed Beebe,who knows a thing or two about hard work. When they cross the line in sports or academia, step in and tell them they have to change. To compete successfully in sports, a student must maintain an academic standard. Parents should insist on it now, and their child will be better prepared for the demands of college. If parents overlook it now, their student-athlete might not make it past freshman year in college. Like a good coach, a good parent will discipline their children who have stepped over the line. What the student does o the eld is just as important as what takes place on the eld. As the recruiting process begins, maintaining good grades becomes more and more important. Performance in the classroom tells a coach plenty about an athletes likelihood of reaching their potential on the playing eld. Coaches know that good students tend to make the most of their abilities and stay out of trouble. Michael Stonebreaker, two-time All American from Notre Dame, reports that his father made him go to summer school because he received a C on his report card. Stonebreaker was not happy with the requirement, but it was the only C he would ever receive. Later, his high GPA helped him earn a full scholarship to Notre Dame, so while he had to devote his summer to academics, he learned a valuable lesson. We suggest the three-part ACE formula for teaching students to be accountable.

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The Complete Game Plan for Maximizing Athletic Scholarship and Life Potential

Parents Role
Academics:

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Remember that a college coach will not recruit a student-athlete who cannot compete in the classroom. Academic performance tells a coach a lot about a childs ability to manage time, set goals, and prioritize. Character is a big part of a sport. No coach wants to work with a sore loser or an ungracious winner. Remember that you can tell a lot about a childs character by the company he keeps. Parents need to make sure that their children know how to make good decisions and are accountable for the actions they take.

Character:

COACHS TIP
College coaches want character, not characters, said Coach Chmiel.
E ort: E ort and work ethic are a big part of childrens ability to be successful student-athletes. During summers and weekends, my parents had a rule: I either worked or I did housework. If I worked, I made money, so I chose the former. Having a paper route and working as a caddy at the local golf course taught me the value of hard work early, and when I le for college, I stood out from the crowd because I was accustomed to working hard to achieve my goals. Win or lose, a coach wants to know that student-athletes did their best not only athletically, but also academically. So long as a student makes his best e ort with every play and in every classroom on every homework assignment and in every practice, a coach will see that the athlete is a class act.

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The Complete Game Plan for Maximizing Athletic Scholarship and Life Potential

Parents Role
Academics:

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Remember that a college coach will not recruit a student-athlete who cannot compete in the classroom. Academic performance tells a coach a lot about a childs ability to manage time, set goals, and prioritize. Character is a big part of a sport. No coach wants to work with a sore loser or an ungracious winner. Remember that you can tell a lot about a childs character by the company he keeps. Parents need to make sure that their children know how to make good decisions and are accountable for the actions they take.

Character:

COACHS TIP
College coaches want character, not characters, said Coach Chmiel.
E ort: E ort and work ethic are a big part of childrens ability to be successful student-athletes. During summers and weekends, my parents had a rule: I either worked or I did housework. If I worked, I made money, so I chose the former. Having a paper route and working as a caddy at the local golf course taught me the value of hard work early, and when I le for college, I stood out from the crowd because I was accustomed to working hard to achieve my goals. Win or lose, a coach wants to know that student-athletes did their best not only athletically, but also academically. So long as a student makes his best e ort with every play and in every classroom on every homework assignment and in every practice, a coach will see that the athlete is a class act.

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Parents Role

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THE WELL-ROUNDED STUDENT-ATHLETE IS SUPERIOR AT ACADEMICS, ATHLETICS, AND INTANGIBLES

25% Academics 50% Athletics GPA Core GPA Class Rank ACT/SAT Clearinghouse Posted ACT as ACR Character Leadership Work Ethic Quality Tape Follow-up Communication Skills Mentor Competitive 25% Intangibles Exposure

Size Speed Projectibility Skill Level Strength

When considering whether to recruit a student-athlete, coaches weigh intangibles, as well as the students athletic and academic ability. RULE #3: Parents should be their childs assistant and mentor, not just the cheerleader. A parents primary role is to be the childs assistant and mentor. While a cheerleader simply o ers encouragement and approval, the parents job is to help the child. I speci cally remember asking my dad every week how I did in Pee-Wee football. Finally, my dad turned to me and said, Son, you will know you played well when you do not have to ask me how you did.

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Parents Role

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PREPARE THE STUDENT-ATHLETE BY ROLE PLAYING

If a child is calling a coach, he will likely be nervous and stumble over his words. Parents can help by role-playing with their children, having them practice leaving voice mails and talking with coaches. For parents, who are con dent and accustomed to making business transactions via phone, this might seem like a simpleor even sillything to do. Parents need to remember that most student-athletes have little experience initiating relationships with authority gures over the phone. Every impression counts, and parents want children to sound con dent and capable. Parents should start by having the child leave a practice voicemail, pretending as though the athlete is leaving a message for the coach. Parents should listen to the message with the athlete, and help the child eliminate ums from the message. As well, they should help their child sound enthusiastic. Often, a child who is timid leaving a message sounds bored, and a coach might misread this as lack of interest. A parent can help a student prepare for calls with a coach by asking questions the coach might ask the student-athlete. Some sample questions include: How was your season? What other colleges are you looking at? What do you consider to be your strengths and weaknesses? What other colleges have called you? What other colleges have made oers?

Some coaches will ask questions speci cally to get a handle on how highly recruited an athlete is. Parents need to prepare their child to be strategic by reading Chapter 5. A student-athlete can start by practicing with schools he is less interested in so that he can learn from his mistakes. Far better for a child to fumble with a low-ranked school than his top choice, and this builds a students con dence while

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Parents Role

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teaching him how to communicate with coaches so that he is prepared when it really matters. Remember: Coaches like student-athletes who take initiative and are proactive in the recruiting process. A student-athlete who takes charge o the eld will do the same thing on the eld! Helping children with these rudimentary matters while letting them nd their way will ensure that student-athletes will savor the process (and may even guarantee that Mom and Dad will get a call every Sunday once their children are out of the nest for the rst time!). e recruiting process can test a childs psyche. Rejection can deeply a ect a teenager, and rejection will be part of this process. is is where parents can provide that loving, guiding hand. ey should remind their children that they are immensely proud of their accomplishments and that the rejection does not diminish their e orts or alter their worth in any way. Rejection is part of the educational experience, and it will happen again at some point. Parents should try sharing some of their experiences with rejection. Michael Jordan hit the nail on the head when he said, I have missed more than nine thousand shots in my career. I have lost almost three hundred games. On twenty-six occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shotand I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is precisely why I succeed. (Incidentally, Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.) Everyone fails. It is not how many times athletes get knocked down, but how many times student-athletes get back up. A parents role is to help a child deal with rejection and prepare the athlete for a future in the real world. Parents need to remind their child that the person who never quits can never be a loser.

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Parents Role
COACHS TIP

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There comes a point in time when a young person has to stand on her own two feet, said Chmiel. She has to shake hands and socially interact and look people in the eye. RULE #4: Parents need to create a speci c plan and follow it.
is process can be daunting, but the early bird gets the worm. ose who act quickly and prudently have the most choices. ose who wait too long can miss opportunities. Parents should set an example for their child by emphasizing the importance of creating a plan to follow. Use the Recruiting Checklist and set SMART goals: Goals should be Speci c, Measurable, Attainable, and Recorded over Time. is will be the roadmap and blueprint for success. A parents job is to help the child create and stick to a timeline. Parents should: Create a plan to incorporate each element from the Recruiting Checklist into a timeline. Complete the Recruiting Action Plan questionnaire at www.athleteswanted.org for sport-speci c steps that will increase a childs likelihood of being recruited. Parents should remember that the overall plan consists of three components: 1. 2. e academic plan that tracks grade-point average, core courses, tests, and progress. e athletic plan for goal-setting (speci c physical accomplishments to reach recruiting benchmarks) and tracking physical aspects of the childs progress as an athlete, such as height, weight, speed, and strength.

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Parents Role
3.

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e recruiting plan to create the childs rsum, make a highlight or skills video, and build relationships with college coaches.

Research websites and track progress using the Initial Target List and Correspondence Log, both of which can be downloaded at www.athleteswanted.org. Both parents and athlete should be familiar with the NCAA Guide for the College-Bound StudentAthlete and the admissions processes for the athletes top schools. Again, a parent needs to empower the athlete to take control, make decisions, and initiate research, but as the more mature, experienced person, a parent should make sure the child is meeting deadlines and staying abreast of the recruiting process. Narrow the list of potential colleges, reminding the athlete that the rst goal is to get an education. Make sure the athlete is communicating with coaches. Parents need to remember to use a Correspondence Log to track communication with college coaches. Carve time in the athletes schedule to take unocial and game day visits with local colleges and colleges of interest. Find an objective and credible third-party to provide an evaluation of the athletes abilities. Map out the childs core courses and track GPA. Examine the Media Guide of Potential College Programs to realistically examine potential opportunities and set goals. e Media Guide usually appears on a schools athletic website and contains biographies of all the schools current players. e players biographies re ect clues as to what accomplishments and statistics are necessary to be recruited

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Parents Role

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by a particular program. Parents and athletes should pay attention to an athletes size, strength, athletic, and academic honors. Help build a skills, game, or highlight video (see Chapter 8 and www.athleteswanted.org). Make sure that the athlete has a positive relationship with high school coaches. ough a high school coach cannot secure a scholarship for an athlete, a high school coach can make an oer disappear. Before making an oer, a college coach will always call the athletes high school coach. When the time comes, make sure the child completes and submits college applications.

RULE #5: Parents should be realistic and get an honest evaluation of an athlete from a high school coach, club coach, or scouting organization.
Most student-athletes are dreamers. Though it is important to shoot high, it is equally important to have at least some grasp on reality. If an athlete is only five feet tall and plans to win a full-ride scholarship to play center guard for womens basketball, her parents might want to direct her toward some objective standards so she can set more realistic goals. Likewise, parents should also be realistic about their child. Most parents are partial to their children and might not be the best judges of a student-athletes ability. Parents should try to find objective statistics about their child. See www.athleteswanted.org for general statistics about student-athletes at Division I, II, and III levels for each sport so parents can see how their child stacks up. The most successful student-athletes are the ones who aim low but shoot high.

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Parents Role

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In other words, parents should not pressure their children to get into a Division I school, but allow and encourage them to apply to these schools, as long as they are also applying to schools where they realistically stand a chance of admittance. (Remember that the best schools do not always have great athletic teams, and that we recommend starting from the Division III level.) Parents should do their homework and have a good understanding of the NCSA Collegiate Power Rankings, available at www.athleteswanted.org, which compares academic records, athletic records, and graduation rates. Parents need to be realistic about the nancial side of their childs experience as well. ough many, many opportunities await, the majority of athletes will need to supplement their educational costs even if they receive athletic or need-based academic grants-in-aid. Parents should establish these parameters early and start doing research. Sometimes, the more expensive schools will o er the most in scholarship money, so a $40,000 school might cost only $10,000, while a $20,000 school might cost $15,000. Never evaluate a collegiate opportunity based only on a college sticker price.

RULE #6: Parents should know their Expected Family Contribution.

Critical to the nancial side of a childs college opportunities is the Expected Family Contribution (EFC). e EFC determines how much the family can contribute, and understanding how this number is derived allows parents to make adjustments or allocate assets in such a way that best leverages their nancial situation. Not knowing an EFC is like not knowing a credit score, or not knowing how much a person can a ord for a down payment before buying a home. e EFC will allow a family to objectively compare collegiate opportunities. Remember that it can change year to year, and it is based on how many full-time dependents a family has in college.

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Parents Role

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(See Chapter 9 for more information on the nancial side of collegiate opportunities.) Once parents have determined how much they can contribute, they should clearly communicate that the athlete must nd a way to cover the gap through work-study programs, jobs, other grants, and student loans. Remember that being a college athlete is essentially a full-time job, and that maintaining another job, even if part-time, can be overly taxing and harm performance on the playing eld and in the classroom.

RULE #7: The greater the distance, the greater the opportunities.
e process of discovering the right college for a child usually begins in earnest during his or her sophomore or junior year of high school. At this point, parents are basically staring at a blank slate, even if their child has picked out a so-called dream school of choice. Parents should avoid xating on that one school. I have talked to a lot of parents who are blinded by ESPN and the Name Game, said Lisa Strasman. ey do not always take the time to investigate what di erent schools have to o er, and they end up nding out that the original image of a college was all wrong and not at all what they wanted. Another big mistake, said Andrea Emmons, is to consider only colleges close to home. Wanting to keep children close to the nest is a natural instinct, but it eliminates many options. Children are better positioned for success if they can evaluate all options without restrictions on geography. is means that parents might not be able to see all of their childs games in person, a small sacri ce to pay for their childs long-term success. e greater the distances the child will travel, the greater the opportunity for recruitment.

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Parents Role

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A student with an average ability who is willing to travel will have more opportunities than the student-athlete who has very good athletic ability, but who wants to play close to home. Parents and their children should go into this process with open minds, without any preconceived notions about a college or region of the country. e search should be from coast to coast, border to border, refusing to eliminate a part of the country based on a stereotype that might be an unfair broad brush. I once received a call from a coaching sta member from Coastal Carolina University, who reported that the womens tennis team had two full scholarship opportunities. e coach went on to explain that the team was housed in an ocean-front condominium. is sounds like a fantastic opportunity to me, but how many parents and studentathletes would overlook Coastal Carolina University simply because they had never heard of the school? is can be an exciting yet unnerving time for many reasons. Ultimately, all of a parents e orts in the process will end with the child elsewhere, in a new home, out of the nest for the rst time. e athlete is about to become an adult, entering an unfamiliar world where Mom and Dad will not be an immediate safety net, even if the college of choice is close to home. Regardless of whether a child is a two-hour drive or a ve-hour ight away, parents will worry. It will be an emotional time. ey can count on it.

RULE #8: Parents should not risk their childs collegiate future by relying solely on the coach.
A parents job is to assist the child in this process. e childs high school coach is not responsible for getting the athlete a scholarship, nor is the coach responsible for helping the student-athlete gure out how to pay for school.

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A childs high school coach will do everything he can to help a child become recruited, but it will not be enough, said Jack Renkens, the former coach of Massachusettss Division II Assumption College. e entire senior class hopes to be recruited, as do juniors, sophomores, and freshmen getting an early start. e coach has a job, a family, and countless other obligations. And he will not get paid for helping a child win a scholarship or turn the head of a college coach.

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FAST FACT

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The average high school coach has personal contacts with an average of fewer than ve college coaches, 90 percent of whom are local.
In addition, the typical high school coach has few strings to pull. Most college coaches do not know high school coaches, and vice versa. With almost two thousand colleges to consider, parents are unrealistic to think a students high school coach has enough time to build relationships with college coaches. Likewise, how could a college coach possibly build relationships with the twenty-three thousand high schools in the nation? If a family is lucky, the student-athletes high school coach is a veteran with a handful of local contacts in the college sports world. But even in this ideal situation, the high school coachs help will not extend beyond a phone call or email.

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The Complete Game Plan for Maximizing Athletic Scholarship and Life Potential

Parents Role
KEY POINTS
1.

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When communicating with coaches, a parent should not be a helicopter mom or we dad. Parents should loosen the reins and let the child take the lead. College coaches are not interested in dealing with their players parents, so an overly involved parent might hurt a childs chance of being recruited. The earlier the parent can loosen the reins, the better. By allowing a child to communicate directly with elementary, junior high, and high school coaches, parents will allow the child to grow con dent in his communication skills, which means he will make a great rst impression when he picks up the phone to call his rst college coach. Parents need to teach their children humility. To success fully compete in sports, a child must be willing to work harder than other students. If an athlete hopes to skate by on natural athletic ability alone, coaches will not be interested in recruiting him. In addition to athletic ability, a student-athlete will be judged on academia, character, and ethic. Parents should be their childs assistant and mentor, not just a cheerleader. The parents job is to prepare the child and assist with the recruitment process. The athlete should turn to the parent for help, but not for approval. Children who learn to stand on their own two feet will make better decisions and be more con dent, capable people.

2.

3.

4.

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Parents Role
KEY POINTS
5.

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Parents can create SMART plans for athletic, academic, and recruiting goals. These plans should incorporate the Recruiting Checklist from pages 59 through 102. As well, parents should make plans to: Complete the Recruiting Action Plan questionnaire at www.athleteswanted.org. Research college websites, as well as the NCAA Guide for the College-Bound Student-Athlete. Help an athlete narrow the list of potential colleges. Make sure the child is communicating with coaches. Schedule time for ocial and unocial visits. Stay on top of application deadlines. Find an objective third-party to evaluate the student-athlete. Map out the childs core courses and GPA. Examine the Media Guide of Potential College Programs. Help build a highlight or skills video. Encourage the child to build a strong relationship with the high school coach.

6.

Parents should be realistic, and get an honest evaluation of the child from a high school coach, club coach, or scouting organization.

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The Complete Game Plan for Maximizing Athletic Scholarship and Life Potential

Parents Role
KEY POINTS
7.

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Remember that the greater the distance, the greater the opportunities. Parents should make sure the Name Game does not blind the child and encourage the athlete to search high and low, in every nook and cranny, for the right college t. Parents need to be aware that the high school coach is not responsible for getting the child a scholarship. Most high school coaches are also teachers who have families and other obligations. They have anywhere from fteen to eighty other athletes for whom they are responsible. Their time is limited and precious.

8.

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