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The Sexual Side of Marriage

The Sexual Side of Marriage I. The Christian view of sex a. We must recognize that sex was Gods idea b. God intended benefits of sex can only be experienced as we use it in harmony with his purpose. c. Marriage is the only context that God sanctions for sexual expression. In fact, it is the sexual aspect of marriage that separates it from all other types of human relationship d. The sexual relationship in marriage should be seen as something sacred The sexual side of marriage is sacred for several reasons. It is sacred because: 1. It is to be reflection of the ultimate union of Christ and the church (Eph. 5:31,32) 2. It represents the total intimacy of the marriage relationship (gen. 2: 23-25) 3. It is the means by which new lives are brought into existence (gen. 4;1) e. The sexual relationship in marriage should be a method of sharing with, communing with and selfless giving of oneself to the other (1 cor. 7: 1-5) f. The sexual relationship in marriage should be seen as a private matter g. Gods view of sexual relationship is summarized in Hebrew 13:4 (Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.) This verse teaches four things: 1. Marriage is honourable 2. The married bed is not to be defiled 3. Sex outside of marriage constitutes a sinful use of sex (prov. 6:32) 4. God does not treat adultery lightly The purpose of sex in marriage? Sex in the marriage relationship has three main purpose: 1. Communication 2. Recreation 3. Procreation

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Principles that should govern the sexual life of a married couple 1. Love Love is the greatest single factor contributing to a fulfilling sexual union. Love is having a greater desire to give than to receive. Both the husband and wife should desire to give and be willing to receive.

2. Meekness Meekness is yielding our personal rights and expectations to God. Much frustration in marriage is caused by expecting too much from our partner and reacting when they do not give us what we believed to be rightfully ours. Viewing God as the source of all fulfilment in life will free us to love each other unreservedly and to stand together through and difficulty. 3. Communication Based on love and meekness, any couple that is faithful to communicate will be able to find their way along the pathway of fulfilment. Failure to communicate clearly will only lead to frustration, hurt, resentment, and fear. 4. Purity The sexual life of a couple must be kept free from contaminating influences. Our hearts must be kept free from selfish desires, our minds from impure thoughts and our lives from the worlds sensual barrage. Asking your spouse to do what is done in porno movies is corrupting the marriage bed. 5. Self-control Controlling our desires brings freedom and greater fulfilment. Control is not only essential during necessary times of abstinence in marriage; it is always a factor in releasing fulfilment. 6. Sensitivity There is a constant need for both the husband and wife to be sensitive to each others needs and desires. A servants heart and plenty of personal consideration shown in all areas of marriage will contribute much to its success. 7. Preparation Just as all important events in life receive special preparation, so should the sexual relationship of a couple. This should include thoughtfulness, cleanliness, a clear conscience and positive attitudes. It may also require a change in wardrobe; improve personal habits, rests, and a lock on the bedroom door.

How does a Husband view sex? A man has emotional needs too, a mans view of romance is much more focused on a single experience: Sexual affirmation. A mans sexuality, his manhood, is primarily expressed through sexual intercourse. Of course this isnt the only way he demonstrates his sexuality, but his sexual performance with his wife is an inseparable part of who he is. This area of his masculinity is subjected by the design of the Creator to a brief performance with a woman his wife. How does a wife view sex? A womans picture of romance tends to revolve around her emotional needs and thirst for a relationship with her husband.

Its all the seemingly peripheral dimensions of the relationship that create a proper context and foundation of sex. Its the romancing, feeling loved, non-sexual affection, being talked to, being listened to, enjoying each others company, having fun together, laughing, and son on.