Hacker Chapter 16 Wordy Sentences Hacker Chapter 17 Appropriate Language Hacker Chapter 18 Exact Words Ramage Chapters 5&6

Watch the video clip

How are the rules for wordy sentences,

appropriate language, and exact words broken?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V97c_Vx-NFo

The writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads.

 Eliminate redundancies

Daniel is now employed at a private rehabilitation center working as a registered physical therapist. Daniel works at a private rehabilitation center as a registered physical therapist. Sylvia very hurriedly scribbled her name, address, and phone number on a greasy napkin. Sylvia scribbled her name, address, and phone number on a greasy napkin.

 Avoid unnecessary repetition of words

Our fifth patient, in room six, is a mentally ill patient. Our fifth patient, in room six, is mentally ill. The best teachers help each student become a better student both academically and emotionally. The best teachers help each student grow both academically and emotionally.

 Cut empty or inflated phrases

Pg. 157-158

 Simplify the structure especially by avoiding be

verbs and there is, are, was, were Investigators were involved in studying the effect of classical music on unborn babies. Investigators studied the effect of classical music on unborn babies. All too often, athletes with marginal academic skills have been recruited by our coaches. All too often, our coaches have recruited athletes with marginal academic skills.

 Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to single

words We took a side trip to Monticello, which was the home of Thomas Jefferson. We took a side trip to Monticello, the home of Thomas Jefferson.

 Stay away from jargon (list pg 162)

We outsourced the work to an outfit in Ohio because we didnt have the bandwidth to tackle it in-house. We hired a company in Ohio because we had too few employees to do the work. The CEO should dialogue with investors about partnering with clients to purchase land in economically deprived zones. The CEO should talk with investors about working with clients to buy land in poor neighborhoods.

 Avoid pretentious language

Taylors employment of multihued means of expression draws back the curtains and lets slip the nostalgic vantage point from which she observes American society as well as her lack of comprehension of economic realities. Taylors use of colorful language reveals that she has a nostalgic view of American society and does not understand economic realities.

 Avoid most euphemisms

Nice-sounding words or phrases substituted for words

thought to sound harsh or ugly Pg. 163

Avoid doublespeak
Deliberately evasive or deceptive language
Downsizing = firing employees

 Avoid sexist language

Pg. 168 Rather than use too many he/she his/her, use plural

Best to rewrite sentence to avoid problem completely

 Revise language that may offend groups of people

Many Oriental immigrants have recently settled in our town. Many Asian immigrants have recently settled in our town.

 Select words with appropriate connotations

When American soldiers returned home after World War II, many women abandoned their jobs in favor of marriage. When American soldiers returned home after World War II, many women left their jobs in favor of marriage.

 Prefer specific concrete nouns

Thing, area, aspect, factor, individual, etc.

The senator spoke about the challenges of the future: the environment and world peace. The senator spoke about the challenges of the future: pollution, dwindling resources, and terrorism.

 Do not misuse words

These days the training required for a ballet dancer is all-absorbent. These days the training required for a ballet dancer is all-absorbing.

 Use Standard Idioms

Speech forms that follow no easily specified rules Pg 174

 Do not rely heavily on clichs

Pg. 176

Use figures of speech with care

Similes & metaphors

 How are the rules for wordy sentences,

appropriate language, and exact words broken?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V97c_Vx-NFo

Intentionally break all the rules for wordy sentences, appropriate language, and finding exact words by rewriting the lyrics to a song.

Ramage Chapter 5: Using Evidence Effectively

 Sufficiency
Typicality

Accuracy Relevance

Sufficiency The more contested a claim or the more an audience is skeptical, the more evidence is needed Dont make argument overly long and tedious with too much evidence Word your claim so that audience supports it

Typicality Evidence should be typical and representative rather than an extreme instance

Accuracy Evidence cant be used ethically unless it is accurate and up-to-date Evidence cant be persuasive unless the audience believes in the writers credibility (ethos)

Relevance Argument: I deserve an A because I worked exceptionally hard. Provides evidence of how hard he worked, but not why he deserves an A.

Data from Personal experience

Insufficient (hasty generalization), not typical, not

adequately scientific or verifiable

Observation/field research
Flaws in how observations were conducted, showing

how data are insufficient, inaccurate, or nontypical

Interviews, questionnaires, surveys
Raise doubts about research methodology,

questionnaire design, or typicality of interview subjects

Library or internet research
Raise doubts about sufficiency, typicality, or relevance

 Testimony
Question credentials of source, show sources bias, or

quotes a countersource
Statistical data
Question methods, research design, interpretation of

data
Hypothetical examples, cases, & scenarios
Show implausibility of scenario or offer an alternative

scenario
Reasoned sequence of ideas
Point to different values or outline different

consequences

 What personal experiences have you had with this issue?

What details from your life or the lives of your friends, acquaintances, or relatives might serve as examples or other kinds of evidence? What observational studies would be relevant to this issue? What people could you interview to provide insights or expert knowledge on this issue? What questions about your issue could be addressed in a survey or questionnaire? What useful information on this issue might encyclopedias, specialized reference books, or the regular book collection in your university library provide?

 What evidence might you seek on this issue using

licensed database indexing sources for magazines, newspapers, and scholarly journals? How might an Internet search engine help you research this issue? What evidence might you find on this issue from reliable statistical resources such as US Census Bureau data, the Centers for Disease Control, or Statistical Abstract of the US?

Ramage Chapter 6: Moving your Audience

Logos Focuses on the quality of the message Focuses on the internal consistency and clarity of the argument and on the logic of its reasons and support Ethos Focuses attention on the credibility of the writer Conveyed through the writers investment in claim; through fairness when considering alternative views; through tone, style, grammar, mechanics, & citations Pathos Focuses on values and beliefs of intended audience Emotional appeal

 Be knowledgeable about issue Be fair

Build a bridge to the audience

Demonstrate professionalism

 Use concrete language Use specific examples & illustrations

Use narratives
Use words, metaphors, and analogies with

appropriate connotations

Timing, appropriateness, and proportions of a message A letter to the editor of a newspaper only has a one or two day window before a current event becomes old news

 Definition Rough Draft