Photo by Bo Shell

The Georgia Voice

OUTSPOKEN IN THEIR OWN WORDS

I dont think its very controversial to suggest that a candidate who favors gay marriage and free contraception might have more appeal to a younger demographic. Does anyone want to argue that there are more gay rights organizations on college campuses than in VFW halls?
Stuart Stevens, Mitt Romneys lead presidential campaign strategist, in an op-ed about what caused Romney to lose to President Obama. (Washington Post, Feb. 24)

03.01.13
NEWS
March could be key for gay marriage across the nation. Page 4 Ga. bill would protect LGBT state employees. Page 6 LGBT protests help stall Atlanta prostitute banishment. Page 7

PO Box 77401 Atlanta, GA 30357 404-815-6941 | www.thegavoice.com

EDITORIAL

Editor: Laura Douglas-Brown lbrown@thegavoice.com Deputy Editor: Dyana Bagby dbagby@thegavoice.com Web Manager: Ryan Watkins rwatkins@thegavoice.com Art Director: Bo Shell bshell@thegavoice.com Contributors: Melissa Carter, Brent Corcoran, Jim Farmer, Shannon Hames, Topher Payne, Matt Schafer, Steve Warren, Ryan Lee

HOME & REAL ESTATE

No place like home: Where LGBT Georgians live. Page 9 Angels house: Crowd-sourcing a dream. Page 10 Memorial Drive make-over: Commercial site turned hip home. Page 11 How to avoid first-time buyer mistakes. Page 12 Tips for buying with your partner. Page 13 Similar price, different style: What you can buy where. Page 14
Ofcial photo

BUSINESS

Publisher: Christina Cash ccash@thegavoice.com Associate Publisher: Tim Boyd tboyd@thegavoice.com Sales Executive: Marshall Graham mgraham@thegavoice.com National Advertising: Rivendell Media, 908-232-2021 sales@rivendellmedia.com

Obama vacations with Reggie Love, Not Michelle: More gay grist for the rumor mill.
Headline on the website of anti-gay Pastor Scott Lively, DefendtheFamily.com, linking to a report that President Obama went on a trip with his aide, Reggie Love. (RightWingWatch.org, Feb. 21)

BOARD OF ADVISERS

Photo by Gage Skidmore /CC 3.0

Photo by Asterio Tecson/CC 2.0

All material in the Georgia Voice is protected by federal copyright law and may not be reproduced without the written consent of the Georgia Voice. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers and cartoonists published herein is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or pictorial representation does not necessarily indicate the sexual orientation of that person or persons. We also do not accept responsibility for claims made by advertisers. Unsolicited editorial material is accepted by the Georgia Voice, but we do not take responsibility for its return. The editors reserve the right to accept, reject or edit any submission. Guidelines for freelance contributors are available upon request. A single copy of the Georgia Voice is available from authorized distribution points. Multiple copies are available from the Georgia Voice office only. Call for rates. If you are unable to reach a convenient free distribution point, you may receive a 26-issue mailed subscription for $60 per year. Checks or credit card orders can be sent to Tim Boyd, tboyd@thegavoice.com Postmaster: Send address changes to the Georgia Voice, PO Box 77401, Atlanta, GA 30357. The Georgia Voice is published every other Friday by The Georgia Voice, LLC. Individual subscriptions are $60 per year for 26 issues. Postage paid at Atlanta, GA, and additional mailing offices. The editorial positions of the Georgia Voice are expressed in editorials and in editors notes. Other opinions are those of the writers and do not necessarily represent the opinion of the Georgia Voice and its staff. To submit a letter or commentary: Letters should be fewer than 400 words and commentary, for web or print, should be fewer than 750 words. Submissions may be edited for content and length, and must include a name, address and phone number for verification. Email submissions to editor@thegavoice.com or mail to the address above.

Ofcial photo

Richard Eldredge, Sandy Malcolm, Lynn Pasqualetti, Robert Pullen

A&E
Laugh and sing with Suzanne Westenhoefer, Steff Mahan. Page 17 Music: Tom Goss is awesomesauce. Page 18 Art: Frida Kahlos pain and passion. Page 19 Food Porn: Lee fights for freakiness. Page 20 Theater: Not so Drowsy Chaperone. Page 21

The social and civil discrimination that persists as long as our federal government does not recognize same-sex marriage is inexcusable. Add in the financial discrimination gay and lesbian couples face and the current policy becomes all the more indefensible.
CNBC financial expert Suze Orman, who is a lesbian, in a column for CNN about how samesex couples are hurt by inheritance tax, lack of Social Security spousal benefits, and more. (CNN. com, Feb. 25)

CALENDAR
Pages 22-25

Photo by David Shankbone/CC 3.0

I only knew of Robyn as her assistant, someone she grew up with, since she was a teenager. I just knew the heterosexual side of Whitney.
Music industry mogul Clive Davis, writing about Whitney Houston in his new memoir, The Soundtrack of My Life. Davis said he saw Houston in brief relationships with men, despite rumors that she had a lesbian relationship with Robyn Crawford, who had worked as her assistant. (TheGrio.com, Feb. 25)

COLUMNISTS
Thats What She Said: Melissa Carters first baby shower. Page 26 Domestically Disturbed: Topher Payne throws a Scary Meat Party. Page 27
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Supreme Court hears gay marriage cases this month

More states come out in support of marriage equality
By Ryan Watkins rwatkins@thegavoice.com The United States Supreme Court will hear oral arguments in two separate same-sex marriage cases in late March. Arguments on Proposition 8, Californias constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriages, are scheduled to be heard March 26, while arguments on the Defense of Marriage Act, the 1996 law that forbids the federal government from recognizing same-sex unions, will be heard the following day. Im very hopeful that the court will move us forward in our work to end marriage discrimination, but thats something we cant control, Evan Wolfson, founder of Freedom to Marry, told GA Voice. At issue in the DOMA case is the laws Section 3, which has been found unconstitutional eight times by federal courts on issues including bankruptcy, public health benefits, estate taxes and immigration. Californias Proposition 8 has previously been found unconstitutional by the 9th U.S. Circuit of Appeals, which stated the amendment served no purpose other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gays and lesbians. The courts decisions on both cases could have far reaching implications for same-sex couples.. The Justice Department filed a brief with the Supreme Court on Feb. 22, calling on the nations highest court to strike down the Defense of Marriage Act, stating that DOMA violates the equal protection clause of the Fifth Amendment. It is abundantly clear that this discrimination does not substantially advance an interest in protecting marriage, or any other important interest. The statute simply cannot be reconciled with the Fifth Amendments guarantee of equal protection. The Constitution therefore requires that Section 3 [of DOMA] be invalidated, wrote Solicitor General Donald Verrilli. President Barack Obamas urging of the Supreme Court to strike down DOMA has some LGBT activists hopeful. Itll mean that couples are legally married will be treated as what they are, married, said Wolfson. That will have a real tangible benefit. Second, striking down DOMA, though it will not end marriage discrimination, will be put the moral place on the side of fairness and give a huge boost of momentum on our campaign. The Obama administration announced in 2011 that it would no longer defend Section 3 of DOMA in federal court challenges, because it believed the law unconstitutional.

States fight for marriage rights

At least five states are currently facing efforts to either allow gay couples to marry or expand domestic partnership rights.

COLORADO

The Colorado State Senate recently approved a bill that would grant same-sex couples many of the same legal protections that heterosexual couples enjoy but stops short of calling such unions marriages. The civil unions bill passed the Senate with a bipartisan vote of 21-14. The bill will move on to the Colorado House of Representatives.

DELAWARE

Delaware enacted civil union protections in 2011 and as of Jan. 1, 2012, began granting some rights to same-sex couples. Gov. Jack Markell has promised to sign a marriage equality measure into law should it reach his desk. No bills have been introduced, but Equality Delaware, the states largest LGBT advocacy organization, says it expects a bill during the current legislative session.
The United States Supreme Court will hear oral arguments on Californias Proposition 8 and the Defense of Marriage Act March 26-27. (Official photo/Architect of the Capitol)

MORE INFO www.theGAVoice.com

Town Hall Meeting on Marriage Equality and the US Supreme Court Hosted by Georgia Equality and Lambda Legal March 27, 6:30-8:30 p.m. at the Rush Center 1530 Dekalb Ave., Atlanta, Georgia 30307 Were going to have to keep moving this issue forward across the country. At some point, well exhaust the number of states where there isnt an amendment. Well have to take them to the ballot and get rid of them by popular vote. Going back to the state and continuing the great work weve seen in the last several years is where well have to focus, he said.

ILLINOIS

Republicans come out against Prop 8

A similar brief was filed regarding Prop 8 by 75 prominent Republicans, including former presidential candidate Jon Huntsman; Mary Cheney, the openly gay daughter of former Vice President Dick Cheney; Hewlett-Packard CEO Meg Whitman; and Christine Todd Whitman, former governor of New Jersey. The brief, filed Feb. 26, urges the Supreme Court to strike down Prop 8, the amendment that revoked marriage equality in California. Were proud to have these prominent Republicans ... in supporting a freedom-based constitutional argument for equality. None of us Democrat, Republican or Independent would want to be told that we cant marry the person we love, and these signatories are blazing the trail for the next generation of fair-minded Republicans still to come, said HRC President Chad Griffin in a statement. Brian Moulton, legal director for the Human Rights Campaign, said this week a favorable decision by the court in the Proposition 8 case would answer a fundamental question of the marriage equality movement. A broad success in the Prop 8 case really answers this question for us, if there is a constitutional right for couples to marry, it answers the marriage equality question, Moulton said. A victory for opponents of Prop 8 would be a catalyst for change, Moulton said, not a cure for marriage woes in states like Georgia where constitutional amendments prohibit gay and lesbian couples from marriage.

Illinois state Senate approved a measure earlier this month that would legalize same-sex marriages. The bill, currently in the House of Representatives, is expected to pass and advance. Gov. Pat Quinn has promised to sign marriage equality into law.

MINNESOTA

In 2012, voters from Minnesota rejected a constitutional amendment that would have banned samesex unions. The state does prohibit same-sex marriages through statutes, but a renewed effort for legal recognition this year and a Democratically-controlled legislature and governorship could see the state advance marriage equality efforts.

What if we lose?

Should the court uphold DOMA, marriage advocates would face a much tougher road to nationwide equality. The battleground would become Congress through the Respect for Marriage Act, a proposed bill that would repeal DOMA, and the individual states. States like Georgia and others where marriage equality is not a popular issue among many voters still have a reason to fight. A state like Georgia, where we might not be able to win in the short term, can still contribute to the national momentum, Wolfson said. There is plenty of work in Georgia, even if were not going to pass [marriage] in the Georgia Capitol in the immediate future. Building a coalition of states that have passed marriage equality efforts is the goal, however, despite whatever the court may decide. The key way we can do that is to continue winning more states and continue winning over

RHODE ISLAND

The pressure is on Rhode Island to pass marriage for same-sex couples in 2013. Gov. Lincoln Chafee has urged the states legislators to move forward on gay unions. A measure passed the states House of Representatives and is currently awaiting similar treatment in the state Senate. Chafee has promised to sign a marriage equality measure into law should it reach his desk. more hearts and minds, Wolfson added. While a defeat before the court would sting, Wolfson said Freedom to Marry and other LGBT rights advocates would continue the march. No social justice movement ever goes without losses. Winning does not mean that youre going to win everything. There will be losses. The movement will move forward and we have the victory in our reach if we keep up the work. Wed rather win sooner, Wolfson said.

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Ga. bill would protect LGBT state employees from bias

Supporters urged to contact lawmakers
By Laura Douglas-Brown and Ryan Watkins lbrownwatkins@thegavoice.com LGBT advocates are still waiting to see if a bill to protect LGBT state employees from job discrimination will get a hearing in this years legislative session, but they dont want supporters to wait to contact lawmakers about the issue. If we do get a hearing, it is likely that we will have less than 24 hours notice, Jeff Graham, executive director for Georgia Equality, said Feb. 26. State Rep. Karla Drenner (D-Avondale Estates) reintroduced the Georgia Fair Employment Practices Act, HB 427, on Feb. 20. The bill, rst introduced in 2011, would add sexual orientation to protected statuses for public employment in Georgia. The measure, which received a second reading on Feb. 22, denes sexual orientation as a persons actual or perceived heterosexuality, bisexuality, homosexuality, or gender related identity or expression. Advocates hope for a hearing on the bill during this years legislative session, but said supporters shouldnt wait for a date to lobby for the measure. The most effective way that folks can support this bill is to call their own state representative and either thank him or her for co-sponsoring the bill or ask their representative to support the bill if it comes up for a vote in the House, Graham said. A survey of 450 Georgians taken Jan. 28 Feb. 2, 2013, by the Schapiro Group shows 79 percent of Georgians support the legislation, according to Georgia Equality. Drenner, who is Georgias rst openly gay state legislator, introduced the bill with 67 cosponsors, including 55 Democrats, 11 Republicans and one independent. A lot of thanks goes to the bi-partisan rst six signers: Reps. Wendell Willard, Mike Jacobs, Stacey Abrams, Rusty Kidd and Simone Bell, Drenner said in a press release. I want to particularly recognize and thank one of our newest legislators, Rep. Keisha Waites, for working so hard to secure many of the original 67 sponsors of the bill. Drenner, Bell and Waites are the only openly gay members of the General Assembly. Treating LGBT employees fairly is simply better for business, Drenner said. The Georgia Fair Employment Practices Act would also ensure that Georgia State colleges and universities are competitive with major research institutions

State Rep. Karla Drenner introduced the Georgia Fair Employment Practices Act to protect 174,000 state employees from discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. (Photo by Bo Shell)

in attracting and retaining the best and brightest researchers, students and administrators to study, work and develop new products, industries and jobs in Georgia. The Human Rights Campaign, the nations largest LGBT advocacy organization, is partnering with Georgia Equality and local lawmakers to help ensure the bill moves forward. Graham said several national organizations have joined the ght for Georgias LGBT state workers. HRC is only one of numerous organizations who are actively helping us with this legislation, Graham told GA Voice. Weve also worked closely with other national organizations such as Equality Federation, National Center for Lesbian Rights and Lambda Legal. These groups have helped us to develop legislative language and conduct research on policies in other states, he said. Anthony Kreis, political co-chair of HRCs Atlanta Steering Committee, said he is working side-by-side with Georgia Equality at the Capitol to promote the bill. Fundamentally, HRC believes it is important for the law to protect all LGBT citizens from discrimination, Kreis told GA Voice. Some 24 states plus Washington, D.C., bar job discrimination against state employees based on sexual orientation, while 12 also ban job bias against state employees based on gender identity, according to Georgia Equality.

United against bias

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March 1, 2013

GA Voice

LGBT advocates help put Atlantas banishment ordinance on hold

Task force to make recommendations after controversial proposal
By Dyana Bagby dbagby@thegavoice.com Up to 15 people representing a cross section of Atlanta will be named to Atlantas Working Group on Prostitution to make recommendations to the city to find ways to curb illegal sex work. At the Feb. 25 Atlanta City Council Public Safety Committee work session, the citys Chief Operating Officer Duriya Farooqui made a request to put a hold on the proposed banishment ordinance so that she and Michael Julian Bond, chair of the Public Safety Committee, could appoint members to the working group. The citys backing off of the banishment ordinance, proposed by Atlanta Police Chief George Turner, came after stiff backlash from social justice activists, including many LGBTQ activists. Turner said he made the banishment recommendation after the APD received numerous complaints from residents about prostitution, johns and drugs in their neighborhoods. Banishment is not illegal or unconstitutional in Atlanta. It is unconstitutional however to banish someone from the state. The proposed ordinance would bar convicted prostitutes from areas of prostitution, or even from the entire city after a second prostitution conviction. Reese McCranie, spokesperson for Mayor Kasim Reed, said while the banishment ordinance also known as Stay Out of Areas of Prostitution, or SOAP is on hold, it still could one day be considered by the City Council. We want a diverse group of people on the work group and expect within a week the people will be named, McCranie said in an interview Tuesday, Feb. 26. He was not yet sure if an LGBT representative would be on the work group. We want the members of the group to steer where the discussion goes. Councilman Bond and others want to be as comprehensive as possible and take other points of view into consideration, he said. Alex Wan, the sole openly gay member of the Atlanta City Council, said he has not yet decided how he feels about the idea of banishing prostitutes from the city limits and is continuing to listen.

The ordinance is rooted in homophobia, transphobia and racism. ... It is a result of lifelong discrimination that we are forced into underground economies and are subject to the most egregious forms of violence, bullying and marginalization. By and large, engaging in sex work is an act of survival, not of choice.
Letter from LGBT organizations opposing banishment

Stiff backlash to Atlanta Police Chief George Turners proposal to banish those convicted of prostitution caused the measure to be put on hold while a task force recommends ways to deal with illegal sex work. (File photo)

MPSA strongly favors banishment

The Midtown Ponce Security Alliance, which has taken a harsh stance particularly against transgender prostitutes, continues to lobby hard for the banishment of prostitutes from Midtown.

Peggy Denby, president of the MPSA, was the only person who spoke in favor of the ordinance at the Feb. 25 work session, saying she was particularly wanting men and male prostitutes out of her neighborhood. On Feb. 26, Denby said she didnt know how to react to the citys decision to hold the banishment ordinance. She also didnt know yet if she would be selected to be on the working group. I dont know yet and wont know until we see what the mayor has in mind. It may give us a more comprehensive piece of legislation I hope that it retains the banishment part, she said. Steve Gower, who is gay and vice president of MPSA, has spent a great deal of time chronicling prostitution in Midtown. He and the MPSA believe the most prevalent problem is among what they call transvestite prostitutes. He said the formation of a work group may actually benefit those, like him, seeking to have banishment enforced. I dont think it would hurt to have a well thought-out ordinance and to explore the various approaches. If there is that much controversy then it would be good to educate people about our experience with this problem, and taking this approach would give more time to draw these issues out, he said. But something like a banishment provision or similar would be instrumental in addressing the problem. I would certainly hope that this task force would have representatives from neighborhoods afflicted with street prostitution, including us, Gower said.

Homophobia, transphobia, racism

Speakers against the proposed ordinance included Dee Dee Chamblee, a longtime transgender activist and founder of La Gender, and

Paulina Helm-Hernandez, co-director of Southerners on New Ground, an LGBT organization serving those in the rural South. Cheryl Courtney-Evans, another transgender activist and founder of Transgender Individuals Living Their Truth, submitted a letter to the committee urging members to not support the ordinance. The transgender community is already a marginalized one in the City of Atlanta. We have faced discrimination and been shut out of housing and employment opportunities, as well as fallen victim to profiling, revolving door justice and jailing around a prostitution problem, Evans said. Now Atlanta Chief of Police Turner has allowed the vociferous complaints of a relatively few (and perhaps well-connected) Midtown residents convince him to develop this ordinance that will not solve this problem, but exacerbate it, she said. A letter opposing banishment was also submitted and signed by LGBT organizations Georgia Equality, JustUs ATL and La Gender. The ordinance is rooted in homophobia, transphobia and racism. We fall prey to a myriad of allegations that are baseless simply because we are viewed as different. It is a result of lifelong discrimination that we are forced into underground economies and are subject to the most egregious forms of violence, bullying and marginalization. By and large, engaging in sex work is an act of survival, not of choice, states the letter. But Gower and the MPSA argue that streetlevel prostitution is a public health hazard, that drugs are brought into the neighborhoods and lead to violence, and that used condoms and used needles discarded on lawns and in the streets can be picked up by children causing injury.

The police are very responsive, but the problem continues to occur and utilizes valuable resources of the city. We have used condoms littered on the sidewalks and belligerent prostitutes walking the streets at night. There is no question in my mind that drug-use by these prostitutes is occurring as well. The SOAP ordinance may very well be the answer to solving the prostitution problem in my neighborhood.
Letter from Midtown Ponce Security Alliance member supporting banishment
A letter in support of SOAP posted on the MPSA website states, We continue to experience a terrible, terrible prostitution problem in this neighborhood. Many times I have walked outside my front door and have witnessed sexual activities taking place, and involving these prostitutes (and, of course, have called 911). The police are very responsive, but the problem continues to occur and utilizes valuable resources of the City. We have used condoms littered on the sidewalks and belligerent prostitutes walking the streets at night. There is no question in my mind that drug-use by these prostitutes is occurring as well. The SOAP ordinance may very well be the answer to solving the prostitution problem in my neighborhood. Carlos Campos, spokesperson for the APD, said Chief Turner is pleased that APD will have representation on the task force and looks forward to finding a solution to this critical issue that has a positive outcome for all involved.

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BY THE NUMBERS
WHERE SAME-SEX COUPLES LIVE IN GA.
More same-sex couples live in Atlanta than anywhere else in the state, but three Atlanta suburbs also ranked in the top 25 small cities (population below 100,000) for same-sex

No place like home

Angels house
Crowd-sourcing a dream.

10

LARGE CITIES WITH THE MOST SAME-SEX COUPLES PER 1,000 HOUSEHOLDS
1. SAN FRANCISCO 2. SEATTLE 3. OAKLAND, CALIF. 4. MINNEAPOLIS 5. ATLANTA, GA.

Make-over on Memorial 11
Commercial site turned hip home.

Rookie mistakes
Avoid first-time buyers remorse.

12 13 14

Partners in property
Tips for joint real estate purchases.

Location is everything
What you can buy and where

SMALL CITIES WITH THE MOST SAME-SEX COUPLES PER 1,000 HOUSEHOLDS
1. PROVINCETOWN, MASS. 2. WILTON MANORS, FLA. 13. AVONDALE ESTATES, GA. 21. DECATUR, GA. 24. NORTH DRUID HILLS, GA.
Source: Williams Institute, 2010 US Census

10

LGBT PEOPLE IN GA. AND AROUND THE COUNTRY

3.5 PERCENT

OF GEORGIANS IDENTIFY AS LGBT, MATCHING THE NATIONAL AVERAGE

GA. IS #22
The District of Columbia is highest, with 10 percent. North Dakota is the lowest, 1.7 percent.
Source: Gallup, 2013

IN THE COUNTRY FOR MOST LGBTs

BY PERCENTAGE OF POPULATION

reaming of becoming king or queen of your own castle? Now may be a great time to buy, whether you are a first-time home buyer or looking to sell your existing home to upgrade to better suit your needs. Atlantas real estate market is rebounding from the worst of the recession, but average prices are still less than they were in January 2000, making this a great time to buy. And with not enough homes on the market, especially in sought-after areas, it can also be a great time to sell your home in order to move. Inventory is so low, in fact, that local LGBT agents recommend acting fast if you find a house you like. In my office, we all have lots of buyers who are ready and able to buy, but keep losing out because almost every good house goes in the first 48 hours and people are likely bidding against a slew of other people for the house, says agent Kathy Kelly of Coldwell Banker. It is a very different market today than it was six months ago. Buyers have to be working with a good agent and ready to put their best offer in immediately to get a home in most price ranges, she says. Ready to learn more? Inside, we introduce you to two LGBT home owners who took unique approaches to creating their dream houses, offer tips for first-time home buyers and those buying with a partner, and give you a glimpse at the very different homes you can get for the same amount of money in different areas around Atlanta. Laura Douglas-Brown

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Crowd-sourcing a dream
Angel Poventud hopes to revitalize Adair Park with his home as a community hub
By Ryan Watkins rwatkins@thegavoice.com For Angel Poventud, what began as a home renovation project in October 2011 has become a vision for a full-blown community revitalization effort in southwest Atlanta. I really believed that I would be living in the house within six, at most nine, months, Poventud says after providing a tour of his ongoing project. There are no walls or xtures. The oor is uncovered and there are pieces of the houses exterior siding stacked throughout the house. Theres still a lot of work to be done. But a new roof, a new interior frame, new windows and doors, new front porch, new primary support beam, new electrical wiring, new central heat and air ducts, and many other completed jobs show real progress on a house that once could have been condemned. Mine was the worst house in the neighborhood, Poventud says. After purchasing the house for around $14,000, he envisioned the rebirth of an area hard hit by the mortgage crisis, perhaps turning Adair Park into the next hip neighborhood with plenty to improve. Poventud wants his home to become a hub for the Radical Faeries and he plans to invite Living Walls, a collection of Atlanta street artists, to temporarily set up basecamp in the house once the second bedroom is nished. Still, the reality of renovating a home in a historic neighborhood presented him with challenges he hadnt expected. Red tape and nancial restrictions have seen the project delayed to almost two full years. Yet somehow, throughout all of the trouble, Poventud has remained positive and never strayed from his ultimate vision of restoring a 90-year old Atlanta home. Now hope of a completed project is nally on the horizon. Poventud says hes about two months away from moving into his new home, a far cry from his situation last June, when a Creative Loang feature on his project highlighted issues with code enforcement and delays with contractors that put the project off schedule and over-budget. What a difference a year can make. Were really far along in the process,

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Home & Real Estate

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Angel Poventud says he is entering the nal leg of an epic restoration project of a 1923 Adair Park home and hopes to move in to the home before summer. (Photos by Bo Shell)

Poventud says. The siding is going on this week. Next week is insulation and drywall. Weve passed all of our rough inspections. The nishing of the electrical, plumbing, gas, HVAC, then the trim work is next. The next big job, Poventud says, will be a painting party B.Y.O.P. (bring your own paint), of course. He hopes to have the entire house painted in a weekend. After that, Poventud says, itll be time to move in and party. Early in the process, mortgage providers werent interested in lending out the full amount needed to restore Poventuds house. Mortgage lenders believed that once the house was renovated, it would be worth $90,000, well short of the $140,000 estimate to complete the restoration. This left him short more than $50,000. He borrowed from his 401k. He used lines of credit. And in late 2012, he turned to indiegogo. com, a crowd sourcing fundraising platform, to

Help from a few hundred friends

help ll the gap between the loans and personal nances and the end cost of the renovation. Long ago, my public and private lives merged, Poventud says. I wasnt planning on being as public as Ive been, but once trouble started that was the most effective way to get help. There has been so much involvement and outreach. More than 250 people donated to his campaign but Poventud claimed just over half of his $20,000 goal. Others have donated cash or have helped with hands-on work at the house. In total, Poventud says that perhaps as many as 500 people have helped him during the process through donations of time or money. A lot of people had assumed all was doomed, Poventud says. This wouldnt have happened without the entire city stepping in to help out. When Poventud isnt working at his railroad job at CSX or on his house, he is active with Atlantas Radical Faeries and regularly appears at LGBT events in his trademark lime green dress and rollerblades. Hes also a regular volunteer with Trees Atlanta and an outspoken advocate for the Atlanta Beltline, a redevelopment project thats turning an abandoned railway corridor into a multi-

This guy is legit

purpose trail that when completed will connect many of the citys neighborhoods, including Poventud s new home in Adair Park. Because of his visibility in the community, word on Poventuds story gets around. When Sarah Balter walked into Poventuds house Monday, Feb. 18, she was meeting him for the very rst time but she already considered him a friend. I felt like I had one of those one-way friendships, she says. Ive been wanting to come for a long time. So I nally had a day when I had nothing to do. I just got up and I went. Balter rst became aware of Poventuds story through a friends post on Facebook about ve or six months ago, she says. His invitations for help have been answered by people just like Balter during the project. When I found out about it, I researched everything I could about him, Balter says. Angels house, who is this? Is this a person or a cause? Sarah says she was drawn to his story and appreciates his vision for a revitalized Adair Park. He wants to benet the area and benet the people. He has an overwhelmingly positive way to be like that, she says. Ive already volunteered to help paint. Ill be trying to stay involved as much as I can. I feel like I made a friend with Angel.

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Home & Real Estate

March 1, 2013

GA Voice

11

Vacant commercial property becomes quirky, cozy home

By Dyana Bagby dbagby@thegavoice.com

A make-over on Memorial Drive

BEFORE

Located near the corner of Boulevard and Memorial Drive, a small blue building with a beveled glass front window and The Livery painted over the front door is a splash of gentrification in a stretch of road most have given up on. Right at the cusp of Cabbagetown, a stones throw from Oakland Cemetery and just a hop, skip and jump from the local Mexican food favorite Mi Barrio, The Livery now the home of Libby Quattrocchi was once a broken, vacant building covered in ugly graffiti. The front door wouldnt open. The back yard was waist-high in weeds that hid many strange objects that Quattrochi, who is gay, discovered when excavating. She bought the vacant building and overgrown lot in July 2011 from a friend, Martin Wiser, who had lived there years ago. The buildn to ing itself was constructed in 1940 and its history includes a long stint as a store. But what else went on there is up to anyones imagination. nnect I found the craziest stuff in my back yard. udingMy yard was like a big sifter after heavy rains. I found a few horseshoes, a yoke. I thought this unity,could be a place you could come and get your things repaired, like a saddle maker. And I like ntudshorse themes, she says. g him Coupled with the painting of The Livery onsid-is a Living Walls Mural painted on the side of her home once covered in ugly spray-painted iend-tags. Quattrochi says she knew she wanted to do comesomething with the side of the building to deter hen Ilate-night taggers so she contacted Living Walls. . The Feminist Womens Health Center then ntudscalled Quattrocchi and asked if a mural for its aboutorganization could be painted there. The Torch ationsof Freedom: Its Toasted mural is a commentary st likeon how cigarette companies market to women. Its also a topic for school students. ed ev- I woke up one morning because my dog ngelswas barking outside and looked out and there e? was a class of students with sketchbooks doing nd ap-a Living Walls tour, Quattrocchi says. Park. enefitNeighbors who speak in tongues posi- Living on this busy stretch of Memorial readydoesnt allow for a lot of peace and quiet. Cars o staywhiz within a few feet of her front door at all ade ahours. Big rigs rumbling by shake the building. Her neighbors at Omega Holiness Church hold

AFTER

Libby Quattrocchi renovated a gutted out building built in 1940 on Memorial Drive to make it into a simple and comfortable home. (Photos by Bo Shell)

service at all hours of the night, singing sometimes into the early morning hours and also speaking in tongues. That freaked me out the first time I heard that, she says. But I get to hear a lot of great music. And theyre great. They were very encouraging through the whole process. For Quattrocchi, the quirks, including the occasional knock on the door from a stranger who thinks her place is a club, are just part of living in her favorite neighborhood in Atlanta. You definitely get used to the traffic. Its like I live by the ocean. The ocean on Memorial that has a lot of hip hop, she says.

A girl and a dog

Quattrocchi is still recuperating from a major motorcycle accident she had in November. She spends much of her time in the home that has taken approximately two years to convert from a hollowed-out shell to comfortable living quarters with a full kitchen and a tidy blackand-white tiled bathroom where once only a drain hole was located. In her bedroom space she keeps perhaps her most valuable possession, a custom-built 1967

Triumph chopper with a competition dirt bike motor, a parcel rack, a tank from England and club handlebars. I have a drain hole in my bedroom for my bikes, she says with a laugh. The warehouse effect of the building when she first bought it is still evident with exposed brick walls throughout, although gallons of polyurethane have been painted over them. The floors in the building were originally brick but over time had been covered in uneven and ugly tiles that had to be ripped up. Quattrochi says it took more than one concrete truck to completely cover her new floor and make it even. Shelves made from Georgia pine are installed high on the wall, next to the ceiling, and hold albums, books and motorcycle helmets. The high shelves make more room in the tight space. Quattrocchi also passed on a drop ceiling and instead left tresses exposed, also to keep as much height to the rooms as possible. Her kitchen set was purchased at Ikea while most of the rest of her furniture she inherited

from her grandmother, including a green futon in the living room that needs to be restuffed. While the big projects are done, such as the new floor, a working bathroom, a kitchen and a clean space to live in, there are still items that bother Quattrocchi the wrong knob on the cabinet, the cabinet space not big enough for some items, some youngsters who tagged the other side of her home that she still has to paint over, a desire for a back splash. Overall, though, shes pleased with her first small project and said she would consider working on another renovation. Right now, shes just enjoying being in a home shes comfortable in and reaping the rewards of her hard work as well as the hard work of many friends who are carpenters, electricians, roofers, painters, artists and even chefs she consulted on how to design a small but efficient kitchen. And the future? She plans on keeping the place for 10 years but is not sure what exactly she wants to do with The Livery. All I know is I want to grow up and have a girl and a dog, she says.

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March 1, 2013

Home & Real Estate

www.theGAVoice.com

Avoiding rst-time mistakes

Tips to keep buying your home from becoming a nightmare
By Jeff Hammerberg There are several mistakes that rst-time home buyers make that are easily avoided. The idea is to not be impulsive or succumb to wishful thinking. Even though a home may seem like a dream house it could, in reality, be a nightmare if you do not carefully consider everything such a major purchase entails. Follow these tips to steer clear of some of the biggest pitfalls: Check out the neighborhood thoroughly. Remember that there are real estate agents in the business of selling you a home however they can, and if that means telling you that you are about to live in a gay-friendly neighborhood that actually is not that friendly at all, then they may intentionally or not do their job and get you into a home. Working with an LGBT real estate agent, or an agent with experience working with LGBT clients, can help prevent this. Check your credit before you start to buy. Yet another mistake that many rst home buyers make is assuming their credit is good before they make an offer on a home. They discover way too late that they cannot go through with buying the house because their credit is not good enough and the entire deal falls through.

In addition to the standard home inspection, consider a sewer scope, asking for a roof inspection and certicate, a furnace inspection and certicate, and depending on the results of your home inspection, specialists to review items of concern. Always demand licensed/ insured contractors for all repairs and replacements necessary, with receipts and warranties at closing. Shop around for the best mortgage broker and loan. When shopping for a mortgage broker, many rst-time buyers just go with the broker who throws them the lowest gure. But beware: low gures can change once the company feels they have hooked you. Go with a referral from a trusted source, your realtor who closes dozens of deals every year, or your own bank. It is also a mistake to take out what is called a sub-prime loan. This is a very expensive mortgage with a super-high interest rate. It might be offered to you if your credit rating is not so hot. Keep in mind that as desirable as it may be to have a bit of equity, making an expensive deal may not be worth it in the end because you will end up paying thousands more than you would have if you had simply cleaned up your credit rating and bought a home at a later date. Overall, dont panic about missing the market or missing the low rates. Do your homework and be assured of the single best investment you may every make. Author Jeff Hammerberg is the founding CEO of www.GayRealEstate.com.

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Get pre-qualied or pre-approved. Your best bet is to get pre-qualied or pre-approved for a mortgage before you even start shopping for a house. This prevents you from wasting your own and everybody elses time later in the game. Home sellers will not even consider entertaining an offer unless you are at a minimum pre-qualied, and your realtor should require it before he or she even takes you to look at homes. Consider a homes aws as well as strengths. The desire to live in a particular neighborhood or in an adored housing style can also cause you to be blind to some of the aws of the home. Are you really prepared to deal with low water pressure for years, very old major appliances that might break down at any minute, or replacing that clay tile roof? Make sure that you have funds in order that will help you pay for things if these break down. This is especially true if you want to buy a historic home. Dont skip on inspections. Before buying, make sure that you get all of the inspections that you can afford as that can save you a lot of money in repairs down the line.

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March 1, 2013

GA Voice

13

Buying as an LGBT couple

Take steps to protect your rights to your home
By Laura Douglas-Brown lbrown@thegavoice.com Buying a home with a partner can be a thrilling time in your relationship. But it is also an important time to talk frankly about how much each of you will contribute financially to down payments, moving costs, mortgage, home upkeep and more. And while it isnt as romantic as picking out paint colors for your new shared bedroom, its also critical to discuss clearly what you would do with the property you are about to buy if you break up or when one of you dies. Its important for all couples, but especially important for same-sex couples, who cant get married in Georgia. That means you cant rely on a divorce court to divide your property if your relationship ends, and unless you have wills, you will be considered legal strangers for inheritance purposes. In the event of a breakup or death, one partner may find himself or herself out of a home unless the couple had the proper legal documents drawn up, warns the Human Rights Campaign, the nations largest LGBT group. Here are three common ways to title a home and what they can mean for same-sex couples. Keep in mind that this is only an overview, and it is crucial to discuss your personal financial situation with an attorney before deciding which option is best for you. It is also vital to have a will, powers of attorney and other estateplanning documents. Sole ownership: If the house is in one partners name only and that partner dies without a will, the other partner may be left with no legal right to the property at all. If the house is titled in one partners name and left to the other partner in a will, the will still has to go through probate. It is possible another survivor for example, a family member who isnt supportive of your relationship could contest the will. Joint Tenancy with Right of Survivorship: If right of survivorship is specified, when one partner dies, the other becomes the only owner. While HRC notes that this is an option many couples choose and many financial advisers recommend, Lambda Legal a national LGBT legal advocacy group cautions that there are potentially negative tax issues to consider. First, the entire houses value will be considered in the federal estate tax calculation. The burden will be on the surviving partner to prove contribution to the asset up to 50 percent of the fair market value of the house, Lambda states.

istock.com/ DOUGBERRY

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Lambda Legal: Tax Considerations for Same-Sex Couples www.lambdalegal.org/publications/ tax-considerations HRC: Housing for LGBT People: What You Need to Know about Property Ownership and Discrimination http://bit.ly/ZFdYtu

If the survivor cannot prove having made such a contribution, the entire value will be included in the estate tax calculation, which could trigger estate taxes. There could also be tax implications if the title is originally in one partners name, then changed to joint tenant with right of survivorship. The other partner may have to provide proof of contribution to the asset or the IRS might look upon the re-titling as a gift of half the value of the house, which could trigger gift tax liability, Lambda states. Tenants in common: With this choice, partners specify in their wills who they want to inherit their shares of the property. It could be the other partner or anyone else. For example, some couples who have children from a prior relationship choose to title their property this way so it can automatically pass to their children upon their death, HRC notes. Others who place their home in a living trust may choose this option as well. While joint tenancy assumes that each person owns an equal share, you could use tenants in common to specify that one partner made a larger financial contribution and thus owns a larger percentage of the property.

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March 1, 2013

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LAUGH
AND SING
Comedian Suzanne Westenhoefer and musician Steff Mahan join forces for Atlanta show
By Shannon Hames The pairing is far from typical, but then typical isnt what you would expect from either Suzanne Westenhoefer or Steff Mahan. Westenhoefer was the rst openly gay comedian ever to appear on television and is a staple on the comedy circuit. Mahan has rmly established herself as a popular singer/songwriter with a loyal Atlanta following. Together, they plan to be the rst music/ comedy pairing ever to perform at the new Red Clay Theatre in Duluth. The March 8 show is put on by Eddie Owen Presents, the new venture from the founder and former owner of Eddies Attic, which put many acoustic musicians on the map. Atlanta is becoming quite a music scene. Its amazing whats coming out of there, says Mahan, who hails from Nashville but is an Atlanta mainstay. I am so excited to play at Eddies new place (The Red Clay Theatre). Hes excited. Hes never had a comedian in his club. Mahan says her gig opening for Westenhoefer started as a lark. My manager thought she would try something weird and said she would pitch the idea to her. I laughed and said, Have fun with that. Then, she came to me and said, Guess who youre opening for? and I was just shocked. We must have caught [Westenhoefer] in a drunk moment. Although both women are lesbians, Westenhoefer notes that the show isnt a lesbian-only performance. It is for straight people, couples, gay guys and anyone else who wants to laugh. Adds Mahan, Im funny between my songs but when I sing, the songs will make you want to cut your wrists. The whole night will be an emotional roller coaster. Westenhoefer went through a highly publicized divorce last year and is using that experience for her show. Break-ups happen to everyone, she says, and my divorce made for extraordinary comedy. When it happens, you should cry and grieve and then you should mock it. Thats my philosophy of life. No longer single, she has decided to start dating again. Im involved with a gal. Were rolling the dice and going slowly. Im 51 years old and Ive never been single. Ive been in committed relationships since I was 14 years old, Westenhoefer says. Ive never lived alone, never been on a date I needed to make sure that I dont fuck up again. Mahan, also in a relationship, is an out musician in Nashville. It couldnt have been a shock when I came out. Youll have to see me walk. Im a hundred-footer. People can tell Im gay from a hundred feet away. Westenhoefer has done very well in her career as an entertainer in the gay tourism industry. She expresses her love for sharing her comedy on gay cruises, festivals and at the resorts: Were all there for a reason, she says. Were all gay and were there still

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Suzanne Westenhoefer & Steff Mahan Friday, March 8, 8 p.m. at Red Clay Theatre 3116 Main St., Duluth, GA 30096 www.eddieowenpresents.com snorkeling and doing all of the other stuff and the camaraderie is great. There is something amazing about being on a trip with all women that just lls you with this special energy. Asked why lesbians sometimes have the perception that they dont treat each other well, she thoughtfully responds, I think one of the biggest problems in the gay community is that our major meeting places are bars with the alcohol and that drama gets exacerbated. Lesbians need other places to meet, she continues. I regularly meet with eight other lesbians for a book club and we have the best time ever. We read everything from

Suzanne Westenhoefer (above) and Steff Mahan (inset) combine their passions for joint March 8 show for Eddie Owen Presents at the Red Clay Theatre. (Publicity photos)

Pick your passion

Russian literature to Stephen King. Mahan has also felt the love from the gay community when fans helped to raise $4,000 to fund the recording of her fourth CD. It was $10 here, $20 there. It was overwhelming the love that I felt from them. Im so happy to get this music out of my head and onto a record. Music is my passion, she says. As music is to Mahan, comedy is to Westenhoefer. Comedy is my passion, she says. I want to tour like Phyllis Diller until Im in my 90s and then just die quietly after a show. My show is fresh and funny and I cant wait to see everyone in Atlanta. Tickets are $25 in advance and $30 at the door.

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GA Voice

March 1, 2013

A&E

www.theGAVoice.com

MUSIC

by Laura Douglas-Brown

Tom Goss is awesomesauce

DC singer-songwriter heads to Atlanta to help the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
Years ago, Tom Goss planned to be a Catholic seminarian. Now hes headed to Atlanta to help raise funds for a bunch of fake nuns. An acoustic singer-songwriter known for both his music and his messages, Goss performs at Atlantas First Existentialist Congregation on Saturday, March 9, to benefit the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, the group of drag nuns dedicated to community service for LGBT people and beyond. Ive met Sisters all over the country; I love their energy and their works, Goss tells GA Voice. And while Goss will join the Atlanta Sisters as performer rather than priest, he still packs powerful meanings into his music. The video for his song Lover, which garnered more than 81,000 YouTube views, told the story of the partner of a gay servicemember killed in action and featured three actual members of the military who were discharged under Dont Ask, Dont Tell. GA Voice caught up with Goss the day before his newest video, a multi-layered acoustic cover of Cant Hold Us by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, debuted on Feb. 26. GA Voice: You dropped out of Catholic seminary. Did coming out play a role? Tom Goss: Not really. I didnt leave because I felt alienated by my sexual identity. When I came to the self-realization that I was gay that didnt change my ideas about my belief that God was all knowing, all powerful and all good. For me, if God is in fact those three things then my sexuality was something that God created in me and was also something that was good. As someone who had spent my life feeling asexual it was a positive revelation for me. Being attracted to another person opened my own understanding of my ability to love on a deeper level. I see nothing but good in that. In many ways, that realization brought me closer to God. Do you still consider yourself Catholic? What do you think about the Popes resignation? No. I dont think much about it. I think its a very corrupt institution and theyll put another person in his place to continue their tradition and agenda. When I entered seminary I believed the institution had huge flaws; I believed it was hurting people and alienating people. However, I also love it. As a result, I believed the only way to help create positive

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Tom Goss Saturday, March 9, 6 p.m. First Existential Congregation 470 Candler Park Drive Atlanta, GA 30307 www.tomgossmusic.net change was from within. At this point in my life, I believe everyone should stop going to Catholic Church and giving them their money. It seems to me that the Catholic Church will only change when it is forced to. Is being a singer-songwriter in some ways similar to being a priest? You are still spreading a message. I entered seminary because I wanted to work in ecumenism, reconciliation and interreligious dialogue. Folks always say to me, Man, I wish I would have met you when you were training to become a priest. I bet you were so different. The truth is, as you have alluded to, Im still doing much of the same things. However, now I have a different platform. My goal is still to reconcile people with themselves and one another, to speak about hope and love, and to help make the world a better place. What inspired your latest CD, Turn it Around? Well lots of things. I dont really set out to write concept albums, mostly I write songs. Eventually a collection starts to take shape. Some songs get dropped because they dont fit; some seem to fit nicely. As the album was taking shape it became obvious to me that Turn It Around was primarily a song about seeing things in a positive light. Its a record about growth, overcoming obstacles and of course, finding and nourishing love. What is your favorite part of the musical process writing, recording, or performing? I prefer writing and performing to being in the studio. I do love it all though. I suppose if pressed I would have to say performing. Thats when I really get to tell stories and connect with people on a deeper level. Recording and writing are very personal, solitary even. Performing is intimate as well; however, its a practice in being intimate, honest and open to a room full of people. That inevitably sparks conversation, you begin to hear peoples stories, their hopes and fears, connecting with them on a whole new level. Thats what I love. I do this because I love telling stories and

Tom Goss dropped out of Catholic seminary, but uses his music to spread a message of hope, love and social justice plus just plain good songs. (Photo by Michael Patrick Key)

hearing others stories. To me, thats the real power in music. You have said that some of your songs are inspired by your husband. Do you think that music can help aid in the fight for marriage equality? Without a doubt. Music is always a catalyst for change. Id like to think that the videos for Till The End, Lover, and You Dont Question Love made their own impact. Now you see marriage equality videos being produced by mainstream artists, just look at Macklemores Same Love. The more we see and hear images of the normalcy of gay marriage, the more normal it will seem in the mainstream. You headlined Augusta Pride here in Georgia last summer. How did the festival compare to others you have played? I love Augusta. I always have a lot of fun there. Ive been playing there for years. I am always inspired by Prides in smaller cities there is a real sense of community, politics and common good that is admirable. Sometimes we take for granted that, in a big metropolitan city, we can go on a date, hold our partners hands and be openly affectionate. That is usually not the case in these smaller cities. As a result, there is a real courage thats involved in

hosting and running a Gay Pride festival. What can fans expect from your Atlanta show? It benefits the Atlanta Sisters for Perpetual Indulgence how did you get involved with them? I met Gary Sisney [owner of Atlanta gay sports bar Woofs] when I was playing at The Rivers Edge in 2010. He was very gracious and has helped introduce me to several people in the Atlanta area. Eventually he passed my name along to BYonda Cloud as someone who would be a good person to help entertain folks at a fundraiser. Ive met Sisters all over the country; I love their energy and their works. Still, I never performed at one of their official functions. Im very excited to be doing so. Hopefully we can raise a lot of money. Bring your wallets... If people leave a Tom Goss concert saying only one word, what would you hope for it to be? I hate this question. I never know how to answer it without sounding completely egocentric. OK, let me think The words that I hope people come out thinking are inspirational, moving, touching, vibrant, powerful, energetic, or even awesomesauce. I think usually people are thinking awesomesauce.

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ART

by Jim Farmer

Portraits of pain and passion

Bisexual painter Frida Kahlos self-portraits highlight of High Museum exhibit
The works of noted Mexican painter Frida Kahlo, who was openly bisexual, and her painter husband Diego Rivera make for a fascinating exhibit currently at the High Museum of Art. Atlanta is the only U.S. city hosting Frida and Diego: Passion, Politics and Painting, which opened a few weeks ago and runs through May 12. Its a joint collaboration with the Art Gallery of Ontario in Toronto and the Museo Dolores Olmedo in Mexico City, featuring more than 130 works. Its the largest-ever collection of the two painters art. Atlanta was chosen not just for its reputation as a vibrant, growing city, but also for its large Latino-American community, according to Virginia Shearer, director of education at the High Museum of Art. Known for surrealism and self-portraits, Kahlos appeal is based on what Shearer calls the directness of images of herself. She was elegant; you cant look away, says Shearer. As a child, Kahlo suffered from polio which left her right leg thinner than her left. In 1925 she was in a bus that collided with a trolley car, which left her with a broken collarbone, spinal column and pelvis. The accident also left her unable to have children. During Kahlos recovery, her hospital was an hour away from other people leaving her isolated and bored, Shearer says. Highly intelligent, she gave up her aspirations of going into medicine and began expressing herself through art, teaching herself to paint, using herself as her subject. Kahlo met Rivera two years later, wandering if he thought she could make it as a painter. Instead they fell in love, got married and Kahlo became part of what Shearer calls Riveras bohemian circle. Rivera was a member of the Mexican Communist party when they met. When they wed, Kahlo was 22 and Rivera was 43. Its well known that Frida was bisexual and had many lovers in her life, male and female. Rivera was never threatened by her affairs with other women Diego laughed at her bisexuality, says Shearer but did not like her relationships with other men. She was very loving, says Shearer. From what I read she was an early bloomer sexually. She was also in love with love.

Above: Frida Kahlo (Mexican, 19071954), La Columna Rota (The Broken Column), 1944, oil on canvas, Collection of Museo Dolores Olmedo, Xochimilco, Mexico. 2012 Banco de Mxico Diego Rivera Frida Kahlo Museums Trust, Mexico, D. F. / Artists Rights Society (ARS), New York. Right, top to bottom: Imogen Cunningham (American, 18831976), Frida Kahlo Rivera, 1937, gelatin silver print, 12 1/2 x 9 1/2 inches. High Museum of Art, Atlanta, purchase with funds from a Friend of the Museum, 74.73. The Imogen Cunningham Trust, 2012. Frida Kahlo (Mexican, 19071954), Retrato de Diego Rivera (Portrait of Diego Rivera), 1937, oil on masonite, The Jacques and Natasha Gelman Collection of Mexican Art. 2012 Banco de Mxico Diego Rivera Frida Kahlo Museums Trust, Mexico, D. F. / Artists Rights Society (ARS), New York. Diego Rivera (Mexican, 1886 1957), La Canoa Enflorada (The Flowered Canoe), 1931, oil on canvas, Collection of Museo Dolores Olmedo, Xochimilco, Mexico. 2012 Banco de Mxico Diego Rivera Frida Kahlo Museums Trust, Mexico, D. F. / Artists Rights Society (ARS), New York.

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Frida and Diego: Passion, Politics and Painting Through May 12 at the High Museum of Art 1280 Peachtree St., Atlanta, GA 30309 www.high.org Of her 143 paintings, more than 50 are selfportraits. One of the highlights of the exhibit is an entire wall of those self portraits. Many of her pieces also reflect the pain in her life. After a miscarriage in 1932, Kahlo painted Henry Ford Hospital which finds her naked on a bed, a tear in one eye with bloody sheets underneath, the image of a baby attached to her via an umbilical cord above her body.

Neither could live without painting

The exhibit works as a chronology of the two painters lives, separately and together. Frida had several signature pieces, says Shearer.

She was also influenced by Mexican culture and often used monkeys in her work. Androgyny also played a part in Kahlos style. In 1940 Kahlo painted Self-Portrait With Cropped Hair. It was painted shortly after she found that Rivera had been having an affair with her sister and the couple divorced. In the painting she is dressed in an oversized mans suit, and her normally long hair is cut off, strands of it on the floor around her. Ironically, during the time they were together, Rivera was the more prominent. He was getting U.S. commissions, Shearer says. Ten years in, she gets a solo exhibition the Louvre takes her work but she wasnt that interested. Now, her star has eclipsed his. Now she is the person most people are

aware of, says Shearer. Kids dont really know Diego in Mexico. Shearer says that some people have visited the exhibit dressed as Frida, whether its flowers in their hair or in their attire. Despite the volatile nature of their relationship, Kahlo and Rivera later remarried. They could not put the problems of their past behind them, but they influenced each other as people and artists. They challenged one another, Shearer says. There was a give and take. Diego writes so eloquently about her. He says that she was the first person to put so much pain in her painting. Neither could have lived without painting.

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GA Voice

March 1, 2013

A&E

www.theGAVoice.com

#19: Sex and the sublime

Robert learns how Lee plans to preserve freakiness
Robert and Lee settled into their chairs at Gios Chicken Amalfitano, a remarkable new restaurant serving huge bowls of Italian-style roasted chicken. The two men had seen one another just three days earlier at the Food Porn Supper Club. Lee had brought along companions in what he called the House of Gay Human Oddities. So, Robert said before the water arrived at the table, that was quite a talk you gave at the supper club. It keeps going through my mind. Any feedback from the other diners? Lee asked. Negative? Positive? Confused? Repulsed? All of the above, Robert said, as he fished a copy of the talk out of his pocket. Lee had emailed it to him the day before. I have some questions, if you dont mind. Go right ahead, Lee said. Just then, the restaurants complimentary salad arrived, crisp green with big slices of shaved parmesan and a simple vinaigrette. Would you read it? Robert asked, taking a breath and looking around. The restaurants seating is all community tables but nobody else had taken seats nearby. Oh, with no problem, Lee said, startling Robert by standing up to recite the talk. Just stop me, when you want to comment. Good evening, my name is Lee Mariposa, and I operate the House of Gay Human Oddities. Seated with me are several such men and women with physical anomalies who are also gay. Once upon a time, shows like mine, though not explicitly gay, crisscrossed America with carnivals. Usually called freak shows, these exhibitions produced gasps as so-called normal Americans beheld the sometimes cruelty of God and nature. But something was gained in the exhibitions. The average person saw himself in the freak. We all have bodies and we all have eyes. When our gaze meets something that arrests our attention completely, we are being confronted by the beautiful. We gasp. We breathe it in. The Greeks described this well. Beauty is not prettiness. The server, approaching cautiously, brought

Recommended
Gios Chicken Amalfitano
1099 Hemphill Ave. , Atlanta, GA 30318 www.gioschicken.com Good choices: Atlanta is joining the latest national trend: restaurants whose entire menus are built around chicken. Gios, next door to the owners pizzeria, Antico, features seven dishes cooked in Italian style. My fave so far: Sorrento Lemon roasted with famous Amalfi lemons, wild oregano and olive oil. Second fave: The Scarpiello adds sausage, sweet red peppers, cipolline and red-wine vinegar to the chicken. All the chicken (huge portions priced $15-$17) is served in big individual bowls to which roasted potato wedges and bread are added. The gigantic pasta bowls are overwhelming for one person, so my advice is to avoid them except for take-out. If you have room for dessert you wont a few Italian classics like cannolis are available. man, Alex Wan, wants to take action that will close most of the so-called sleazy businesses along that raucous street. It is, so to speak, about shutting down the freak show. Im not saying the neighborhood doesnt support the closings or that so-called gentrification isnt inevitable. But it is a prime example of the way gay people themselves often lead the way toward disappearing the odd, especially the sexually odd. Robert nodded. Oh yeah, I learned 10 years ago that the city in America that makes the most arrests for public sex is West Hollywood the only city in America almost entirely run by gay people. Sex is the theater of all human experience, Lee said. Theres not a person on the planet who is not driven by it and who doesnt engage in something strange and freaky when he lets himself go. But gay people, long oppressed for the very nature of their love and sex, now easily still turn that on themselves.and others. So youre here in this world to preserve the freak. Youre like Hedwig, right? Exactly, Lee said, digging into his bowl of chicken. I will be setting up the House of Gay Human Oddities on Cheshire Bridge.

Food Porn is a fictional series by longtime Atlanta food critic Cliff Bostock. Set in real Atlanta restaurants, it chronicles the adventures of Robert, a gay man in search of a husband or at least a good meal. Read the whole series online at www.theGAVoice.com.
two bowls to the table. Each was filled with roasted chicken cooked in a different Italian way. The aroma of the glossy chicken and its colorful condiments drifted around the bowl, so that when Robert closed his eyes, he felt his senses grow keen. Opening them, he caught sight of something dark streaking by. But he turned his attention back to Lee. So, Robert said, youre talking about something like Beauty and the Beast. The totally arresting fills us with awe and, strangely to me anyway actual desire. The sublime. Yes, said Lee. And so it has always been with gay people. For centuries, many gay men and women locked themselves in the closet, believing they were not seen as different. Some, specifically, those who also exhibited traits of the other sex, were noted as different but gifted. They were often revered. Magicians and spiritual people, like the berdache and even cross-dressing Catholic priests, are examples. They sublimated their love in other forms, although it frequently sprang into view like a penis popping out of their pants. Robert stopped him. So, give an example of where this kind of thing still operates. Thats your point, right? Lee sat down. Okay, Ill leave the script. Your citys debate about Cheshire Bridge brings all this together. Your gay city council-

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March 1, 2013

GA Voice

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THEATER by Jim Farmer

Steve Hudson plays Man in Chair in Aurora Theatres Drowsy Chaperone. (Photo by R. Todd Fleeman)

Not so Drowsy Chaperone

Known only as Man in Chair, compelling lead character may be gay
MORE INFO www.theGAVoice.com
The Drowsy Chaperone March 14 April 14 at Aurora Theatre 128 East Pike St., Lawrenceville, GA 30046 www.auroratheatre.com but by the end he forgets he is sad, she says. He creates a community for himself in this here with these people. The Drowsy Chaperone doesnt shy away from implying that Man in Chair might be gay. The character talks about one of the actors in the play and says, I like to think of him panting and sweating, says Towns. That line gets a laugh. It may be that he is gay, and maybe there is a struggle over that, she says. Maybe other people make him uncomfortable sexually. Man in Chair does mention at the end of the show that he has been married but is now divorced, and interacts with the audience, asking if they are surprised he had been married before. However, Towns has left that element of the character up to Hudson. I think it is for the actor to decide and interpret, she says. John Markowski and Austin Tijerina, both gay, play brothers in the play-within-a-play who are gangsters disguised as pastry chefs, trying to stop the Broadway stars marriage. Markowski says the brothers arent really that intimidating, though, and are somewhat reminiscent of the Marx brothers in their stylized moments. Tijerina had seen the original production on Broadway and said the show spoke to him. Man in Chair is who I am going to be, he quips. The performer moved to New York a few years back but is back in town. He and Markowski worked together on a version of Urinetown several seasons ago. A lead character whose sexual orientation is up for question is at the heart of the musical The Drowsy Chaperone, opening March 14 at Aurora Theatre. Directed by Anne Towns, The Drowsy Chaperone is a parody of musical theater, paying tribute to the jazz-age shows of the 1920s. Its central figure is Man in Chair (played here by Steve Hudson), a musical theater junkie who puts on the cast album of his favorite musical and sees it pops to life around him, as a Broadway stars (Courtney Patterson) wedding day becomes increasingly complicated. Man in Chair whose name we never learn is content to be an observer of the action until the end, when he is able to enter the picture. Chaperone won five Tony Awards in 2006, more than any other musical on Broadway that year. A touring version of the musical came to Atlanta in early 2008. Towns, a huge fan of musicals from the 20s, had talked to Aurora about producing the show a few years back. When the company found a spot for it, they contacted Towns, who has helmed several musicals for the Aurora, including A Chorus Line and Singing in the Rain, to direct. For Towns, The Drowsy Chaperone is first and foremost a fun night at the theater. It has a lot of comedy, singing and dancing, she says. Its a really good time. Its a bit different from her recent A Chorus Line, which she says was more based in reality. In her mind, the character of Man in Chair is extremely sad and lonely. But by the end of the show, he has found company in what he has brought to life. He uses the album to escape into a fantasy

BEST BETS 03.01 - 03.14

SPOTLIGHT
Friday, March 1
Three gifted performers Michelle Malone, Jim Bianco and Emily Lynch join forces at Red Clay Theatre. 7 p.m., 3116 Main St., Duluth, GA 30096, www.eddieownspresents.com Film Love presents Zoom, a night of two avantgarde classic films Wavelength and Serene Velocity curated by Andy Ditzler. 8 p.m., Atlanta Contemporary Art Center, 535 Means St., Atlanta, GA 30318, www.thecontemporary.org P!nk performs with special guest The Hives at 8 p.m. at Philips Arena, 1 Philips Drive Atlanta, GA 30303, www.ticketmaster.com Out There is the theme for Mr. Gay Cobb County 2013, with contestants encouraged to appear not from the Earth, from another world. 9 p.m. at LeBuzz, 585 Franklin Road, Marietta, GA 30367, www.thenewlebuzz.com Edie Cheezburger presents The Other Show on Fridays. Doors open at 8:30 p.m., show at 9:30 p.m. Jungle, 2115 Faulkner Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.jungleclubatlanta.com Get to know Mara Collins as she opens her new counseling practice, Birds Eye View, in the office portion of Charis Books. Angie Winfrey reads from and signs her new book, Livin out of Boxes, Lettin Go of Bags, afterwards. 57 p.m, Charis Books & More, 1189 Euclid Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307, www.charisbooksandmore.com First Metropolitan Community Church and ASCORG, Inc. present an Old Time Gospel Concert. 7 p.m. at First MCC, 1379 Tullie Road, Atlanta, GA 30329, www.firstmcc.com Area poets and musicians come together for Lift Up Atlantas Poetically Correct open mic and poetry slam, hosted by Ms. meeK. A silent auction follows. Hosted by Lesbians Party with a Purpose. 7-10 p.m. at the Rush Center, 1530 DeKalb Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307, www.liftupatlanta.org Gay singer/songwriter Juan Cezar and bandmate John Miklaucic, otherwise known at Frisky Monkey, celebrate with a CD release party at Smiths Olde Bar. Show begins with special guests starting at 8 p.m. in the Atlanta Room at Smiths Olde Bar, 1578 Piedmont Ave., Atlanta, GA 30324, www.friskymonkeymusic.com Lesbians fans will rock the joint for Women of Rock with Caroline Aiken, Donna Hopkins and Diane Durrett. 8 p.m. at Red Clay Theatre, 3116 Main St., Duluth, GA 30096, www.eddieowenspresents.com
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22

GA Voice

March 1, 2013

Calendar

www.theGAVoice.com

ADD YOUR EVENT

There are two ways to add your events to our online and print calendars. Submit your info to www.theGAVoice.com or e-mail details to editor@theGAVoice.com.

Saturday, March 2
The iconic Coco Peru returns to Atlanta to emcee Dragavanza, featuring Amber Divine and the East Point Possums, benefitting Jerusalem House. 6 9:30 p.m., Jungle Club Atlanta, 2115 Faulkner Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.jungleclubatlanta.com

Publicity photo via Facebook

Saturday, March 2

Lesbian comedian Suzanne Westenhoefer and musician Steff Mahan take the stage at 8 p.m. at the Red Clay Theatre, 3116 Main St., Duluth, GA 30096, www.eddieowenpresents.com

Saturday, March 2
Hairy men run rampant at Bear Invasion, with San Francisco DJ John LePage spinning. 9 p.m. 3 a.m., Heretic, 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.hereticatlanta.com

Get ready for a Mister USAofA Benet Show for DJ/entertainer Shaun Daniels, hosted by Chase Daniels, with performances by Jasmine Antoinette, Tifnay, Romeo Lee, Evah Destruction, Monica Van Pelt, Kai Lee, Ashton Cooter and more. 10 p.m., My Sisters Room, 1271 Glenwood Ave., Atlanta, GA 30316, www.mysistersroom.com The amazing, statuesque Shavonna Brooks is the hostess of Extravaganza, with drag guests such as former Miss GA USofA and reigning Miss Georgia All American Goddess Necole Luv Dupree. 11 p.m., Burkharts, 1492 Piedmont Ave., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.burkharts.com

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
MORE LGBT EVENTS: Visit our website for our extensive daily calendar, including nightlife schedules, sports, worship services and community organization meetings. www.thegavoice.com/calendar

Is it okay to date someone 10 years younger or older than you? Deeper Love hosts a forum for black and bi gay men to discuss the subject. 47 p.m., The Evolution Project, 583 Juniper St., #1, Atlanta, GA 30308 May/December romances, www.evolutionatl.org

Photo via Facebook

Topher Paynes Angry Fags continues with fellow GA Voice columnist Melissa Carter (making her stage debut) in the cast. 7 Stages, 1105 Euclid Ave., Atlanta GA 30307, www.7stages.org Friends on Ponce and host Regina Sims present a fundraiser to send drag king Devin Liquor to the Mister US of A MI Classic in Oklahoma later this year. 9 p.m., 736 Ponce De Leon Avenue, Atlanta, GA 30308, www.friendsonponce-atl.com

Wednesday, March 6
Kitty Le Claw hosts as Dragamaki returns across the street from its old home. 8:30 p.m. on Wednesdays at Ten Atlanta, 990 Piedmont Ave., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.tenatlanta.com

Sunday, March 3

The High Museum of Art is the only U.S. museum to present Frida & Diego: Passion, Politics and Painting, highlighting 75 works of the surrealist, bisexual artist and her husband. Running through May 12, High Museum of Art, 1280 Peachtree St., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.high.org

Monday, March 4

Social justice minded feminists Buttonz and SJ host T&F Transitionz: A Project of the Feminist Outlawz, a forum exploring gender themes for teens and adults under 30. 7 p.m., Charis Books & More, 1189 Euclid Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307, www.charisbooksandmore.com

Publicity photo via Facebook

Friday, March 8

www.theGAVoice.com
PFLAG Atlanta hosts its First Monday support group for families and friends of LGBT people. 7:30 9 p.m., Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Atlanta, 1605 Northeast Expressway, Atlanta, GA, 30329, www.pflagatl.org
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Calendar

March 1, 2013

GA Voice

23 28

SPOTLIGHT

Tuesday, March 5

Tuesdays, Thursdays and early Saturdays, get your country on with 3-Legged Cowboy nights at the Heretic, 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.hereticatlanta.com Every Tuesday, sing out at Mary-oke starting at 9 p.m. at Marys, 1287 Glenwood Ave., Atlanta, GA 30316, www.marysatlanta.com

Publicity photo

Join Stop Overdose Georgia a coalition concerned about the high number of drug overdose deaths each year for a rally and day of action. 11:30 a.m. 1 p.m. at the Georgia Capitol, Atlanta, GA 30334.

Friday, March 8
After a joint appearance days before at Red Clay, Michelle Malone performs solo at Steves Live Music, her debut at the Sandy Springs club. 8 p.m., Steves Live Music, 234 Hilderbrand Drive, Sandy Springs, GA 30328, www.steveslivemusic.com

Wednesday, March 6

Sunday, March 10

Thursday, March 7

Publicity photo

Come help the Atlanta Police Departments LGBT liaisons as they attempt to make their rst oat for the 2013 Pride Parade, as part of Sisters Night at Woofs. 710 p.m., Woofs, 2425 Piedmont Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.woofsatlanta.com Sing For Your Life, the live singing competition with judges and mentors Barry Brandon, JL Rodriguez and Michael Robinson, continues Thursdays through March 28. Doors open 8 p.m., show at 9 p.m. at Jungle Club Atlanta, 2115 Faulkner Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.singforyourlifeatl.com You never know what youll see as drag performer and comedian Brent Star host the No Live Animals Variety Show. Performers get five minutes for the unrestricted act of their choice every Thursday at 10:30 p.m. at Laughing Skull Lounge, 878 Peachtree St., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.laughingskulllounge.com

Indigo Girls play a benefit for the Friends School of Atlanta. Buy tickets quick as they will be sold out. 4 p.m. at the school, 862 Columbia Drive, Decatur, GA 30030. www.friendsschoolatlanta.org

Angelica DPaige hosts the Fab Five at 11:30 p.m. Fridays at Burkharts, 1492 Piedmont Ave., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.burkharts.com

Saturday, March 9
Gay musician Tom Goss described as a a former Catholic seminarian turned guitartoting troubadour comes to town to help the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence raise money. 6 p.m., First Existential Congregation, 470 Candler Park Drive, Atlanta, GA 30307. www.firstexistential.org

Friday, March 8 Sunday, March 10

Grab your rackets: the Atlanta Team Tennis Association presents its annual ChATTAhoochee Doubles Classic today through Sunday, for veteran players and newer ones. Sharon Lester Tennis Center, Piedmont Park, 1320 Monroe Drive, Atlanta, GA 30306, www.atta.org Heated competition for the titles of Mr., Ms. and boy Southern Coastal States Leather begins today through Sunday at Roys Hideaway, with events all weekend, sponsored by Coastal Empire Sentinels. Roys Hideaway, 268 Catfish Lane, Collins, GA, 30421, www.royshideaway.com

Friday, March 8

Friday, March 8

Do you believe that gender justice is for all people and feminism is for everybody? If so, Charis invites you and your organization to join in an International Womens Day Atlanta Resource Celebration. 7:309:30 p.m. at Charis Books & More, 1189 Euclid Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307, www.charisbooksandmore.com Cowboy Junkies perform songs from The Trinity Session and more. 8:30 p.m. at the Variety Playhouse, 1099 Euclid Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307, www.ticketmaster.com

Saturday nights are Dance Party early, then Maryoke late at Marys, 1287 Glenwood Ave., Atlanta, GA 30316, www.marysatlanta.com

Monday, March 11

Sunday, March 10

The Armorettes, Atlantas legendary fundraising drag troupe, takes over at 8 p.m. at at Burkharts, 1492 Piedmont Ave., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.burkharts.com

Wanna be the next big drag thing? Diva Drag University continues with a diva mentoring a new queen every week and preparing her for the upcoming Atlanta Rising Diva 2013 Pageant. 10:30 p.m. at The New LeBuzz, 585 Franklin Road, Marietta, GA 30067, www.thenewlebuzz.com

Sunday, March 10
Up and coming musician Linsey Hinkle appears at Eddies Attic, with special guest Arrie Bozeman. 8 p.m., Eddies Attic, 515-B N. McDonough St., Decatur, GA 30030, www.eddiesattic.com

CONTINUED ON PAGE 25

Publicity photo via Facebook

Lesbian social networking group Fourth Tuesday hosts its monthly Happy Hour. 6 9 p.m., Mixx Atlanta, 1492 Piedmont Ave. Atlanta, GA 30324, www.thehealthinitiative.org

Saturday, March 9

The Hotlanta Softball League hosts a Jersey Party/beer bust to raise funds for upcoming tournament play. 4 8 p.m., Heretic, 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.hereticatlanta.com

Oz The Great and Powerful, the prequel to the immortal Wizard of Oz, opens in metro Atlanta theaters, with a cast including James Franco and Michelle Williams. www.disney. go.com/thewizard/

Dented Lens Photography

On Wednesdays, catch the Lust & Bust Show with host Lena Lust and featuring Shawnna Brooks. 11 p.m. at Blakes on the Park, 227 10th St., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com

24 1

GA Voice

March 1, 2013

www.theGAVoice.com

THE MIKADO
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March 1, 2013

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UPCOMING
Friday, March 15
Atlanta Poly Weekend starts its third annual event with a full slate of activities and guests. Holiday Inn Perimeter, 386 Chamblee Dunwoody Road, Atlanta, GA 30341, www.atlantapolyweekend.com The Decatur Womens League launches its spring softball season, with games at various times on Friday nights at Kelley C. Cofer Park, 4259 N. Park Drive, Tucker, GA 30084. www.decaturwomensports.com

Get ready for great alterna-grass as the women of Roxie Watson return to Eddies Attic. 7 p.m., Eddies Attic, 515-B N. McDonough St., Decatur, GA 30030, www.eddiesattic.com

Saturday, March 16

The Hotlanta Softball spring season, which launches March 17, gets partying early with the fourth annual Patty 0 Party Atlanta Talons beer bust. Expect beer, jello shots and a raffle. Amanda Topp and Millicent Pete headline with DJ Joey S on the turntable. 2 p.m., F.R.O.G.S., 931 Monroe Drive, #A107, Atlanta, GA 30308, www.frogscantina.com Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories perform with special guests Electra and Saul Kaye. 8:30 p.m. at the Variety Playhouse, 1099 Euclid Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307, www.ticketmaster.com

Saturday, March 16

EVENTS
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 23

Team Friendly Atlanta presents Drop the Soap! Wash Away the Stigma! with Sister Ursula Polari hosting an evening about reducing the stigma of HIV. Features a live aucition to wash down onstage local personalities including activist Chandler Bearden, DJ Diablo Rojo, porn star Charlie Harding and more. 6 p.m., Jungle Atlanta Jungle Club Atlanta, 2115 Faulkner Road, Atlanta, GA 30324, www.jungleclubatlanta.com

Sunday, March 17

Wanna help raise money for civil rights and the Human Rights Campaign? HRC Athletes for Equality join in the Publix Georgia Marathon, Centennial Olympic Park, 265 Park Avenue West N.W., Atlanta, GA 30313, http://www.hrc.org/ athletes-for-equality/ Every Wednesday, Jack and Missy host Twisted Sister Karaoke at 8 p.m. at My Sisters Room, 1271 Glenwood Ave., Atlanta, GA 30316, www.mysistersroom.com

Thursday, March 14

Tuesday, March 12

SAGE Atlanta, a support and social group for LGBT elders, meets starting at 10 a.m. on Thursdays at the Philip Rush Center, 1530 Dekalb Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307, www.sageatl.org Sort of an anti-Emily Post, Tara Laskowski talks Modern Manners for Your Inner Demons. 7:30 9 p.m., Charis Books & More, 1189 Euclid Ave., Atlanta, GA 30307, www.charisbooksandmore.com The gay-themed musical The Drowsy Chaperone opens. 8 p.m. at Aurora Theatre, 128 East Pike Street, Lawrenceville, Georgia, 30046, www.auroratheatre.com On Thursdays, check out Dancefloor Divas with Phoenix ATL. 11:30 p.m. at Burkharts, 1492 Piedmont Ave., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.burkharts.com

Tuesdays, unwind with a sing-along with pianist David Reeb at 8 p.m. at Mixx, 1492-B Piedmont Ave., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.mixxatlanta.com VJ Marco Polo serves up not your typical showtunes at 9 p.m. on Tuesdays at Amsterdam Atlanta, 502-A Amsterdam Ave., Atlanta, GA 30306, www.amsterdamatlanta.com

Wednesday, March 13

Catch the Lust & Bust Show with Lena Lust and Shawnna Brooks. 11 p.m. at Blakes on the Park, 227 10th St., Atlanta, GA 30309, www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com

26

GA Voice

March 1, 2013

Columnists

www.theGAVoice.com

THATS WHAT

SHE SAID
Rites of passage
Unexpected insight from my rst baby shower
This past weekend, I attended my very rst baby shower. Katie informed me that not having attended a baby shower until my 40s could be considered the equivalent of never having seen the ocean or been to a circus. This was a timehonored female rite of passage and I had been missing out. I was shocked to see her rushing to make sure we left the house on time. When I questioned her uncharacteristic attention to punctuality, she explained that baby shower etiquette ranks right up there with the same requirements for weddings and funerals. She correctly noted that I was dragging my feet and I confessed that despite how much I love the mom-to-be, the thought of sitting around a living room with a group of women cooing over baby clothes and tiny diapers was just not my ideal afternoon. Too bad, she said. Would you miss her wedding or funeral? Then you cant miss her baby shower! And you have to change your shoes. It was lost on me how a few hours spent critiquing baby gifts and drinking punch was that big of a deal. I had thought of the event as a silly tradition that ultimately would just end in my friends poor husband having to unload an entire car of gifts when UPS would have been so much simpler. Katie simply shook her head at my explanation and said, You will love it. Youll see. Once we arrived, it was evident that my stereotype was outdated and shallow. The old school baby showers that I had seen on television have evolved. Yes, all the women were dressed beautifully and the house was decorated perfectly. But the level of organization and thought that had gone into this day would have made NASA envious. The hosts had literally thought of everything. There was a cake that someone had spent hours decorating. On one table there were cards numbered 1 through 18, representing the birthdays of the little one. We each picked a year and

Melissa Carter is also a writer for Hufngton Post. She broke ground as the rst out lesbian radio personality on a major station in Atlanta and was one of the few out morning show personalities in the country. Follow her on Twitter @MelissaCarter

wrote a message that wouldnt be opened until that particular birthday. On another table were envelopes so that we could go ahead and write our address for the thank-you notes so as to save the future mom the hassle. The host had asked all the guests ahead of time to send in a photo along with a favorite story from childhood or words of advice and she compiled them all into an iBook for the mom to keep as a souvenir. Brilliant! By the time came to open gifts, I was so intoxicated with food, punch and hilarious stories of new moms and near baby disasters that I was cooing along with everyone else. The baby clothes really are freaking cute. And who knew they made a special baby air temperature monitor so that the babys room stays just right? The house was lled with women of all ages. Some I had known for years and some I met for the rst time. In that room, nearly every kind of woman was represented. But the one thing we all had in common was that we all adore this new mom and this baby who is on the way. There is something truly magical about women of all types and from all backgrounds and life experiences coming together in once place to celebrate and honor the passage into motherhood. At one point, when I started to tear up, I noticed that Katie had seen it and a look of righteous smugness swept across her face. I chose the card for the babys 13th birthday and wrote her a message. One day, I am going to tell her about her baby shower and how it reminded me of one of lifes most important lessons: Never assume you understand the beauty of something until you have seen it for yourself.

www.theGAVoice.com

Columnists

March 1, 2013

GA Voice

27

DOMESTICALLY
Scary bachelor meat party
How not to spend nights when your husbands away
My husband Preppy was sick all last week. Our schedules do not allow for illness, so at the rst sign of a snife the offending party is required to quarantine in the guest room until the threat of contagion has passed. This is really hard on the dog. Shell spend the entire night trotting back and forth between his bed and mine, a bone hanging out of her mouth like a cigar, whining in confusion regarding where her loyalties should lie. The sick person obviously needs her more. The well person wont wake her up with the coughing and the sneezing, which is important considering her agenda requires her to sleep for 16 hours daily. Maintaining separate bedrooms really throws our competing schedules into sharp relief. We can go four or ve days at a time without seeing each other awake. If were on opposite sides of the house, I lose the comfort of at least seeing him sleeping. But one does what one can with what one has, and I know hes close by, which is something. This week, Preppys in Washington, D.C., for a little work/play combo that will include seeing Obamas house, Lincoln, and the pointy thing. Its his rst trip to our nations capital. Im there next month. Hes off to New York after that, where I was in early February. Its as though we booked fun things to do together, but neglected to conrm any of the dates. Each time Preppy goes out of town, I quickly amass damning evidence of the hoarder I would become if he went away forever. For some reason, being married is the only thing that seems to remind me that we own a trash can,. If hes gone for three days, I clean up on day three. If hes gone for 10 days, I clean up on day 10. Funny discovery: If I leave an empty celery bag and a depleted hummus container on the kitchen counter, they multiply independently of my inuence. Theres an expectation that, with the husband

DISTURBED

Topher Payne is an Atlanta-based playwright, and the author of the book Necessary Luxuries: Notes on a Semi-Fabulous Life. Find out more at topherpayne.com

away, one might be tempted to be naughty. And oh boy, I am. I have what I call the Scary Bachelor Meat Party. Preppy is a vegetarian, so when hes gone, our kitchen turns into a butcher shop. Steak, bags of pepperoni, bacon once, I sat and picked apart an entire Publix rotisserie chicken on the sofa with my bare hands, like a Walking Dead zombie or Jodie Foster in Nell. So I take my meat, and then I queue up some scary movies. Preppy hates em. So when Ive got the house to myself, were talking wall-towall screaming teenagers being chased by men with chainsaws. I stay up way too late and have a right ne time, eating bacon and watching people in peril. Thats how I spent tonight, and then I went to bed. And then I heard a noise. It was just a little noise. It could have been the wind, or maybe a mouse. Or a person, standing in my kitchen, moving carefully so that they could sneak up on me and murder me because they want my TV or they heard I wrote Angry Fags and they want to hate crime me in my bed, or maybe they ride a bicycle and they found out Im friends with Melissa Carter. Daisy. Go see what that is! Go! I whispered, urgently, to the dog at the foot of my bed. She raised her head slightly, then let out a disapproving grunt and went back to sleep. I hated her so hard in that moment. I laid there, for either two minutes or six hours, unmoving, waiting for the sound again. Nothing. Then I leapt out of bed, locked the bedroom door, grabbed my phone, and put on underpants and a t-shirt in case there were news cameras or police ofcers in my future. Still, no sound other than the snoring dog. Its easy to take moments for granted, like the comfort of another human next to you. Someone who can reassure you it was just the wind. And that maybe you shouldnt stay up til three in the morning eating a side of beef while watching horror movies.

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