WeCreate International Coaching Certification Manual

COACHING l a u n a m
International Certification
by
WE CREATE
THE FUTURE. TODAY.
INDEX
I YOU ARE ALREADY A COACH II THE 4 Rs OF COACHING 10 12 14
III WHAT IS COACHING?
COPYRIGHT INFORMATION
Intellectual property
IV INTERNATIONAL COACHING PRESUPPOSITIONS 20 V ROSA 1.0 VI ROSA 2.0 26 29 55 81 96 101 105 107 109
WE CREATE
THE FUTURE. TODAY.
VII RAPPORT VIII ROOTS IX RESULTS X TOOLS AND TECHINIQUES XI THE COACHING ETHICS XII THE FIRST SESSION IN PRATICE XIII THE LAST SESSION
Daniel S Nogueira and Marta Ferreira

danielsanogueira.com
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Authors Daniel S Nogueira,Marta Ferreira and Joo Capela Graphic design and illustration Sofia Pedroso
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ALL content of this manual is copyrighted. All rights reserved. Any part of this manual cant be used, reproduced or transmitted without permission of Daniel S Nogueira or We Create, Lda. The videos available on Youtube are property of their respective authors.
Therefore, Congratulations. On your marks. Get set. And practice, practice, practice. The International Coaching Certification of WeCreate was created explicitly for you! Its main objective is to transform potential coaches into excellent ones. It aims to help reveal and accelerate your evolution towards excellence as well as to enable you to guide your team or your clients to attain it. From focused people to coaches of excellence... The purpose of this manual is to complement the days of classroom training that you received with WeCreate. We recommend that you often revisit this online manual, as it will be updated regularly with more text, exercises and practical tips for your day-to-day coaching. To stay interactive and aligned with the pedagogy of the subconscious, we suggest that you always take notes, lots of notes as you read the manual, so you can indeed use the information that youve gone through over time. One reason for making this a consultative online document is to enable you to always keep your own manual up-to-date, with our help. This manual is not scientific work. Neither is coaching. Above all, your research should be focused on developing your own personal coaching style and on understanding what coaching is for you. Since you are a Certified Coach of WeCreate we know that you have already integrated a big part of the contents of this manual as it was presented to you. From now on, both the course and this manual should be used more for support than as policy and should slowly start accompanying your practice. Here youll find the essence of what we find most important to convey in the area of coaching. Since were unable to go through all this material during our training days, youre welcome to contact us as you start working with it on your own and questions come up or you want to know more about any of the contents presented here. We want to take this opportunity to wish you an excellent continued training! What you give will determine what you receive and take with you! Our only advice is that you practice a lot, as it is the only way to grow and move on to getting other results than you have had in the past.
WELCOME TO THE FIRST EDITION OF THE WECREATE INTERNATIONAL COACHING CERTIFICATION!

Congratulations. If you are reading this manual it means that you participated in the International Coaching Certification by WeCreate. It means that you have participated in our intensive 60-hour training with one of our Master Coach Trainers, that you had at least 80% success on the exam(s) and completed other study requirements. And above all, that you have carried out (or are about to) at least 12 hours of coaching evaluated by us. Congratulations! You are either now a Certified Coach or soon to be one. But get ready, because it is only now that your journey really begins. You are only a Coach to the extent that your clients reach their desired results. And in a sustainable manner. I repeat: your level of competence as a Coach is directly proportional to your ability in helping your clients get to the destinations that they aim for. Being certified is only the first step, a critical first step, but still a very basic one. Practice. This is without any doubt the most important word for your next phase of evolution as a Coach. Practice. Practice. Practice. And the purpose of this manual is to be of help and support, to serve as a reminder, to provide hints and clarifications while you practice. It is above all a support tool, but also a study tool. When you decide to take your next step by doing the Master Coach Course, your preparation will include studying all the material in this manual as a mandatory prerequisite.
We hope that this training course will be meaningful to you! We know with certainty that it will be for us and therefore we would like to conclude this brief introduction by thanking you! Yes, thank you for sharing your most precious asset with us: your time! Have fun, this will make it much easier to finally start taking those steps towards the results you seek, or becoming even better at helping your clients to do the same! Wishing you many excellent training days!
TIPS FOR USING 100% OF OUR MANUAL:

(P) Participate. A lot. This is a very small number of pages compared to the amount of experience that is needed in the area. We actually only have about 60 hours of training and these pages, to help you change some of the paradigms that you have about coaching, about yourself and your clients. Forever. So, take a deep breath, switch your phone to silent mode, straighten your back, find your focus, get present and ready to participate. Take this opportunity and read the manual as if you had to repeat the course. (E) Engage. You have a lot to learn from WeCreate, just like so many other people who did the certification with you. Get in touch with others who are studying the manual and interact, share, take initiative, get excited and involve others. Enjoy the international community of WeCreate Coaches. Share through coach@danielsanogueira.com. (M) Memorize. On the following pages, well be sharing the best tools for coaching and results! Theres a lot of information. Brain overdose alert. Thus weve reduced it to a minimum, the essence. Focus on knowing at least the contents of this manual by heart. Concentrate as much as possible. Take lots of notes. Many of the same. The more you type things over and over again, the better your brain will understand the importance of the material. Question, write, reflect, analyze, adapt, go deeper, and so on. Enjoy the material. (S) Surprise us. Go further. Exit the box. Direct your energy outwards. Be your most sublime image of yourself, more determined, more intense. Be the change you want to see in your work and business, today, here and now, with us. Strive for excellence. In yourself. In us. In everyone. Enjoy the coincidence of being here to create your future, today, now... And above all, have fun. We very much hope that this manual will exceed your expectations, but more than anything, we hope it can help you to significantly duplicate your results. Were going to create a new world together, and everything starts today. Thank you once more and Congratulations for being here with us and for being a WeCreate Coach...
Daniel Sa Nogueira
Daniel S Nogueira WeCreate MasterCoachTrainer Trainer hello@danielsanogueira.com +351.93.777.4.123
INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING
YOU ARE ALREADY A COACH
In other words, all of us have already helped someone take a step further and be happier. Thats coaching. A coach helps another human being with the most fundamental questions of life...
YOU ARE ALREADY A COACH

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By using questions! The quality of a coach is measured by the quality of his or her questions. What are your dreams? What is your potential? What have you already done thats spectacular? What makes you feel happy? What have you learned from your successes? What do you believe in? Who are you and who can you become? ...
Every human being is born a coach, whether she knows it or not. All of us have already helped someone, during our life, to solve a problem. All of us have already shared a word of encouragement. All of us have already made someones life easier. All of us have already sat down with someone to listen to her reality. All of us have already challenged someone to go further. All of us have already said something that changed someones life, without even knowing it. All of us have already left someone thinking about what we said or did.
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click the video to see it
THE 4 RS OF COACHING
how to measure the results, whether they are objective or subjective. This is the big difference between coaching and other practices, as we will discuss further in this manual. Mastering these four elements will make you a great coach! Someone who is well ROOTED, who can create RAPPORT within a few minutes, who dominates ROSA and the structure of a session, is someone who will be able to deliver RESULTS. And this is the reason why your clients choose coaching.
II THE 4 Rs OF COACHING
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The triangle of the 4 Rs represents the essence of coaching. To WeCreate, if you become an expert in these four Rs, you are a Coach! This is your base! The rest is stars that youll learn to master in the long run. Your first focus: becoming extraordinarily good at each of these Rs! A brief description of each element: ROSA -This is the method of the Coach. It is the basic tool that you will use during your sessions. It is an eternal guide that in time will become part of your DNA. A coach is someone who speaks in ROSA, thinks in ROSA, trains and helps in ROSA. ROOTS As a coach, you can only go as deep with your client as you can go with yourself. Therefore you must learn to deepen and strengthen your roots. What is really important to you? How is your self-confidence and relationship with yourself? A coach has self-knowledge about her values, beliefs, level of confidence and limits. Nothing anyone says about you should surprise you! RAPPORT The ability to make anyone trust you within a few minutes. As a Coach, you should be able to adapt to different types of people and quickly and easily generate empathy and trust with any of them. RESULTS - If there are no results, there is no coaching. Coaching is geared towards action and obtaining results. You also need to know
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WHAT IS COACHING?
challenge... Throughout the sessions, the Coach has to challenge the client to go further and to think of many more and diverse solutions, in order to step outside her comfort zone. Coaching works as a form of encouragement and monitoring, tailored to the personal development needs of each client.
III WHAT IS COACHING?

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4-word definition: Freeing Potential Through Action Technical definition: Coaching is a process that aims to develop, challenge, support and empower people to reach their full potential, personally and professionally, in a sustainable manner, through the use of questions! Coaching is a process It has a beginning, middle and end. The Coach does not solve anything by just pushing a button. The length of the process is generally 2-3 months depending on the situation and response of the client. This is the time-span that we advise for achieving meaningful results through ten one-hour sessions, in person or not, depending on the availability of the client and the expertise of the Coach. ... that aims to... The Coach supports the client in setting goals and creating a strategy to achieve desired results through the very process of coaching. The goal is to help the client achieve results in her focus area, for example health or relationships, spirituality, finances, career, family, etc. develop Coaching is about working with the potential that the client already has within. The Coach does not create anything, just works on what already exists in order to enhance it. While focusing on the development of technical and emotional skills, the coach acts as an external eye to the client, so that she can see objectively where she is (present state) and where she needs to go (future state) with minimum effort and maximum fun. ...support At the same time, support: do not judge, really listen, be there for the client, give positive feedback. The Coach is someone who is always there even when the results are not yet the desired ones. The Coach has the patience to unconditionally support the process of the client. empower The Coach helps the client work on new skills, with the aim to thereby empower her to achieve self-realization, reach her goals and align her life with her values, mission and life purpose. Note that if the Coach uses a lot of teaching, it becomes training, not coaching.
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WHAT IS COACHING?
...sustainable... - In coaching, we work to deliver sustainable results. We do not want the client to become dependent on the Coach or on the process itself. As soon as possible, we begin to use strategies to ensure the autonomy of our clients and to make them become their own coaches after a while. ...reach their full potential... Coaching is about ACHIEVING results. During the coaching process, the Coach will work to keep the client in action, so that what is aimed for actually happens. All of us possess a HUGE potential that we can use to achieve everything we want. ...questions... - This is the basic methodology of coaching. We develop, empower, support and challenge through questions. Questions are powerful enablers that will help raise the consciousness level of our clients.
ting skills. We recommend using the term client instead of coachee, as it helps to distinguish it better from the word Coach and implies a more professional relationship between the two. A Coach: a professional qualified to lead the process of coaching. An opportunity, challenge or problem: Opportunity, because it is not necessary to work on a problem. A client can be satisfied with their job, but seeking a Coach to work on being promoted, for example. On the other hand, there may be more than one opportunity, challenge or problem and also all three at once, since there are always opportunities behind every problem. When there are several problems or opportunities, the Coach assumes that the client is able to solve them all. However, the coaching process needs to focus on one at a time and solving it before moving on to others.
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Coaching is the process that aims to develop, challenge, support and empower people to reach their full potential professionally and personally, through questions.
COACHING IS ABOUT THE FUTURE
During the coaching process, the Coach will focus on making the client think about the present and the future. This is the main difference between coaching and therapy, apart from the extent of formal education (minimum 5 years) that psychologists have in comparison to coaches. The Coach can listen to what has happened in the recent past of the client, but does not focus on going deeper into this aspect of the situation. Instead, she guides the client to focus on the present and most of all on the future: So, what do you want to achieve today, regarding this problem in your family?; What are your future dreams in this area of your life?. The Coach is not focused on knowing what caused the trauma or problem, but concentrates on moving beyond it and making sure that by the end of the ten sessions, the client has also acquired the tools to solve other problems and challenges in her life. Coaching requires three key elements: A Client (Coachee): the person who undergoes the process of coaching in order to acquire new skills and strengthen exis-
THE CROSSROADS OF LIFE
The key moments for a client are at the crossroads of life, i.e. when two roads diverge and the client does not know which way to go. This is where a Coach can really make a difference. In these situations, as stated earlier, we will not decide for the client nor give any advice, since the task of the Coach is simply to facilitate reflection on the two paths, to ask about the crossroads, and even to take a few steps back if the client wishes to do so. Even if the choice seems wrong to the Coach, the client is the one who should decide which road and action to take. Coaching is also: 33 33 33 33 33 Very future-oriented Making the client move into action through weekly tasks Having a clear vision of what goals to reach Helping the client develop an action plan A process that provides development, direction, innovation and constant support
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WHAT IS COACHING?
Benefits of Coaching: 33 Opportunity for individual reflection that increases our level of consciousness about ourselves 33 Increase in our capacity to influence various situations in our lives 33 Gain of greater structure and focus 33 Constant feedback and support throughout the process There are mainly two types of Coaching: Life Coaching (where the process is most suitable for our personal lives) and Executive / Business Coaching (where more work is done in the professional area).
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mentor is someone who gives advice based on her vast experience in the area that you want to explore. Therapy. The greatest distinction of all between coaches and therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists etc., is the number of years of academic preparation and how governmental institutions regulate the activity of the latter. Therapists etc. are trained to help their clients with complex issues from their past and present. A Coach does not have this preparation and should not, nor has the technical ability to stir up the past of her client. Therefore, the Coach focuses solely on the present and the future of the client and has no therapeutic ambition.
Over the past few years, coaching has become specialized in various areas. We now also find terms such as Relationship Coaching, Health Coaching, Management C oaching, Emotional Coaching for Teams, Leadership Coaching etc. Another major advantage is that this tool can be used formally (in individual sessions or with groups) where we help our clients get closer to their goals in many areas of life as well as informally where we use it as a point of view when relating to our friends, family, children and ourselves. Imagine the power of not only helping others but also being able to increase their capacity to take responsibility. No doubt, coaching is a transversal tool that applies to many different areas in our professional and personal lives.
present
future COACHING
past
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THERAPHY
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COACHING AND OTHER PRACTICESS

Despite being a relatively new discipline, the distinction between coaching and other practices is clear. The term itself arose from a means of transport (taking someone from one place to another) and this remains its basic meaning: to bring someone (the client) from A to B. The difference between coaching and other approaches: Mentoring. A process whereby a professional with expertise in a particular area helps you to increase your level of knowledge about it. A
Consulting. Offers experience and expertise in certain business areas. A consultant can work with an entire organization or part of it and is usually a person from outside the organization that brings in her know-how to help increase productivity. Training. A process by which we gain knowledge and skills. The trainer is usually an expert in a particular area, with the objective to help people learn and acquire skills specific to that area.
INTERNATIONAL COACHING PRESUPPOSITIONS
I, AS A COACH, NEVER KNOW THE SOLUTION!
That is, as the Coach does not know the psyche of the client, she must remain detached and calm, allowing the client to pursue at her own pace, without interfering. The process belongs to the client!
IV INTERNATIONAL COACHING PRESUPPOSITIONS

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2 - RESPECT
The map is not a territory
The international presuppositions of coaching are general principles that guide the practice of coaching around the world. They are a kind of ethical rules that are vital to use in coaching sessions. But even more importantly, these ten presuppositions need to be rooted in the DNA of the coach and lived fully by her.
Each person has her way of being, her World Map (the perception that each of us has of the same reality). The way one person sees a situation is never identical to someone elses way. Everyone interprets the same events differently and react accordingly. Thus, the map of the client has true value and merit and the Coach respects this principle by holding the point of view that her own map of the world is not the only correct one. For example, a Coach who is married must respect the client who has three girlfriends and is looking for a fourth. A spiritual coach must understand the world of a client whos in the military. If you cannot respect the world map of your client, then youre not the best Coach for her. The best option then is to not continue your sessions and instead suggest that a colleague takes over. Suggestion: Do everything in your power to keep your client, even if you dont agree with her world map. This is because by your fifth session you will have the necessary rapport to take on the challenge of asking something like: Is that really what you want for your life? Dont you need something bigger in your life? In conclusion, it is only natural that a Coach develops an opinion about what is happening with the client, but she must still respect the clients world map and use open questions that are genuinely tolerant.
1 - QUESTIONS
The Coach has the questions and the client the answers
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The coaching process is for the client. The coach only facilitates the process.
The Coach always starts from the principle that the client has the answers. Even if the Coach knows the answer she should not say it, and this is often complicated. A challenge. The client has to discover the answer for herself; even though she may then realize that this was not the best answer and that there are more suitable ones. But this makes the client feel in charge of her process. A major benefit of coaching is the power that it gives to the client! For this to happen the Coach needs to find and ask questions, because there are no answers, only questions. If the client asks, What can I do to solve this situation?, the Coach asks Have you already done something to solve it? or Is there anything you can do right now? Try to avoid responding with solutions as much as possible. This way, the Coach will lead the client to finding the best answer... for herself.
3 - FEEDBACK
There is no failure, only feedback
5 - BEST OPTION AT THE TIME

People always choose the best option that is currently available, especially given their context.
Everything that happens to the client during sessions and/or outside of them, is an opportunity for the Coach to get feedback. For example, if a client hasnt done her homework, this is not failure but feedback to the Coach. Perhaps the homework was too complicated, maybe the Coach did not convey its importance, or the client is still very focused on another area. Failure is short-term psychology; its what you see in the moment. Feedback on the other hand, is long-term psychology. We believe that the client will understand, if she hasnt already, that its not about not being capable. Instead, its about taking in feedback about the situation, learning from it, polishing the rough edges, and continuing until you can do it. A good example of this kind of psychology is when babies start to learn how to walk. They will fall many times and try over and over again to remain standing, but never will a parent think that their daughter has failed and will never walk, only because she fell. In other words, she did not fail, she simply got feedback.
For example, if a client yelled at a co-worker, the Coach should assume that this was the best option that she had available at the time. Whether the Coach finds it good or bad does not really matter, because for that person it was the only option available, given the context. Thus the process of coaching is very humble. The Coach puts herself into the shoes of her client, staying present and concerned. It is very important that the Coach does not impose her own limitations on the client. Furthermore, she can choose to accept the limits of her client, or to go around them. Never forget that your client always comes from a context that is different from yours and that her family history, religion and education among other things, is what guides her to make choices which are always the best option at the time.
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4 - RESOURCES
All people have the resources within them or can acquire them.
6 - CAUSE AND EFFECT

Each person creates her own reality.
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The coach treats the client as someone who is always rich in resources. The potential that lies in all human beings is very big, giant really. It enables all of us to achieve any goal that we set ourselves in life... and the Coach knows this reality. Therefore we will never criticize the goal of a client that may seem impossible in the eyes of the Coach, because the client has all the resources she needs within her, or can acquire them! Many clients will try to convince you that they are not capable of something and do not have these resources within them. As a Coach, you have fully embrace this assumption and know deep inside that they are perfectly capable!
The client is the energetic centre of everything that happens to her. In other words, it is she who creates or attracts her own reality. Thus, the Coach should always assume that what is happening to the client was in some way created by her, whether it is an accident, an argument, or even the case of being fired. The same applies to positive events. As a coach, and this is why you should always respect others world maps, you do not to say that the client is guilty. Instead, you keep asking questions. Your session will then be focused on trying to understand what motive led her to create this reality. If you do not believe that your client created it, you will also not believe that she has within her all the personal
power needed to change or modify it! Therefore, as a Coach, you need to take this presupposition into your own life, and aim to deepen it to the fullest, until you reach the point where you believe that you can influence everything that happens in your life.
it is all good behaviour, just the intention that created them. Let us imagine a dramatic situation: someone who screams violently at another person may be wanting to feel safer, calmer, have more justice ... The intention is good but not the behaviour! As a Coach, you know that what your client does or doesnt do is based on a positive intention.
7 - ACTION
If you want to understand, act.
10 - NON-IMPOSITION
None of these presuppositions are important to your client
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A Coach believes that action is needed to understand a problem, challenge or opportunity. Its not enough to say that something has been understood on the mental level. Coaching is about action! It does not matter how much your client understands or knows about a subject. What matters is how much she acts! Hence, all sessions have a compulsory homework ending. What will you do in this direction?, When?, With whom?.
All these presuppositions are for you as Coach to internalize and use in your sessions. The idea is not that you should now impose on your client to use questions, stick to a positive language and refrain from judging other peoples World Maps... The pre-suppositions are made for you and aim to orient the coaching process.
8 - FLEXIBILITY
If youre not getting results, do it differently.
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Between the two of them, the Coach needs to be the most flexible, because if the client is not getting results, new approaches are needed. In other words, since the Coach believes that the client has all the resources within her, if there are no results it is because the Coach has to be more flexible. What works with one client does not work with others. Einstein said, Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. If youre not getting the results you want, do it differently!
9 - POSITIVE INTENTION
All behaviour is based on a positive intention.
All human behaviour is driven by positive intention. This does not mean
ROSA 1.0
33 33 33 33
On a 0-10 scale, how satisfied are you in this area? What is your biggest challenge? How are other areas of your life? What else? Tell me more.
V ROSA 1.0
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The fundamental Reality question is: WHATS UP?
EXAMPLES OF QUESTIONS: LETTER O

33 33 33 33 33 33 33 Where will you be in a year? What is your biggest dream? Where would you like to go? What is your most amazing vision of this situation? From 0 to 10, how important is this goal to you? Can you see your goal? Describe in detail what it looks like. If you had a magic wand that could solve this problem, what would your new situation look like, what would you like to see happen...?
ROSA 1.0 is about going through each letter of the ROSA during a session or an informal conversation, without expanding on any of them. The starting point is helping the other person to identify the Reality (Whats up?) of their situation and understand what the problem or challenge is. Then, to speak about the Objectives (What do you want?) and note what the person wants and aspires to. After thinking about the goals, its all about encouraging the other to find solutions (How can you get there?). And finally, because the Coach believes that results come from action, its about agreeing on a piece of homework that is in line with the best solution found (Out of all these ideas, what you can do next week?). ROSA 1.0 is used in more informal coaching with friends and acquaintances and in more situational coaching that is fast and focused on action, where the client already knows what you want. Moreover in situations where there is no need to go deeper into understanding the emotions, beliefs and values of the client.
The fundamental Objectives question is: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

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EXAMPLES OF QUESTIONS: LETTER S

33 33 33 33 33 33 33 33 33 33 What can you do? What are you doing right now to solve this situation? What do you think is the best way to reach the objectives? Do you know someone who can help? What are some things youve never imagined doing? Let us list a series of possible steps. Can you give me 10 solutions? And 10 more? If I were in your situation, what advice would you give me? If you had all the money in the world, what would you do? Who could help you solve this situation?
EXAMPLES OF QUESTIONS: LETTER R

33 33 33 33 33 33 What made you want to come and see me? How can I help you? How happy / satisfied are you? How do you feel about that? What is the path youve followed so far? What works best in your life at the moment? What can and should be improved?
The fundamental Solutions question is: GREAT! AND WHAT ELSE?
ROSA 2.0
EXAMPLES OF QUESTIONS: LETTER A

33 33 33 33 What will you do this week? What is one thing you could do without much difficulty? Which of these solutions can you start with today? What is your next small step?
The fundamental Action question is: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? WITH WHOM? WHEN? During a coaching session, the letters R and S have a divergent function, allowing you to fully open the flow of ideas. The Action phase then has a fully convergent function, specifying what will be done, as seen in the following diagram.
VI ROSA 2.0
The purpose of this manual and the International Coaching Certification is to learn to use ROSA 2.0. The MasterCoach Certification goes more in depth with 3.0 coaching and the MasterCoachTrainer Certification is about 4.0 coaching.
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The Reality phase is usually the longest one in ROSA (especially in the first session). It is a very important phase because it is where we find out about our clients current life situation and start building rapport with her.
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R(EALITY)
If this phase is well done, the rest comes quite easily and naturally. 99% of your clients will be focused on the problem, i.e. living the Problem Psychology. They will have the tendency to always see the negative, even to amplify it as they go along, by finding more and more reasons that feed the negative aspect of their situation. Everything around them, whether it is their home situation or even the state of the country or the world, strengthens their ability to see how bad their problem is, which contributes to killing all hope for improvement, and opportunities ultimately go unnoticed. Their situation is always the worst it can ever get. In fact, they tend to see that their life has always been that way. Your goal at this stage is to collect as much information as possible about your client and different aspects (both good and less good) of her life. The Coach has two tools for helping her client get out of the
ROSA 2.0
hole that she is focused on and have a conversation about the broader reality of her life.
In this case, let the client speak for five to ten minutes about this, but then it is essential to make her say something positive about it with questions like: * Whats good about it? * What do you like about your life? (Maybe on the same subject or another - see Guide to the First Coaching Session) By doing this we motivate the client for the rest of the ROSA. Its really a question of energy. If we dont address the positive aspect (of the particular situation or of another area of life) we will not have any energy for the Objectives phase. The conversation gets very depressing and not very motivating when the client manages to convince herself (and often the coach as well)
FLUFFY PUFFY VS COMPLICATOR
At the stage of Reality, we find two main types of people:
COMPLICATOR
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This is the type of person who will claim that they are not able to solve their problem and who also believes that the situation is so big and so bad that there actually is no solution.
baby
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aby
What?
Who? when?
ROSA 2.0
ROSA 2.0
ROSA 1.0
ROSA 1.0
ROSA 3.0
ROSA 3.0
ROSA 2.0
that there is no solution. By adding together both positive and negative aspects, we create tension and a spark of energy to move on. At the same time we get to find out what truly motivates the client, whether it is family, a passion that she has or others things.
PIZZA OF LIFE
FLUFFY PUFFY This is the opposite of the type above. This is a person who has re-educated herself and grown convinced that its good to have problems and that they are there for a reason. She has a super positive perspective on life, but possibly a bit exaggerated. Problems are always positive and she does not understand that they may have negative implications.
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The clients reality is like a big wall. Something she needs to overcome to reach the other side, the side that she wants to be on. Although the wall is large, the client will tend to concentrate on a small part of the wall: a hole, a brick to paint etc. About 98% of people are focused on the small holes of life, which only increases their size and importance. Implementing a real change in your life means looking at it as a whole, from various angles, analyzing all its weaknesses but also all the possibilities. In doing so the client becomes more aware of who she is. The pizza is divided into four distinct areas (linked to the four elements and the four personality types) and twelve slices:
To the question So is this problem hurting you? she will promptly reply, Oh, it isnt. Its good to have problems, they bring along many positive things and are just what they should be. In this case, the Coach has to make the client talk about the problem and the aspects that are negative or less good. In other words, we must find out what hurts enough for the client to realize she needs help with something and that not everything is going well after all. As in the previous case, we need to create an inner shock in order to generate energy for the Objectives phase. In this case it is necessary to do so by making the client suffer a bit, or to get her out of her comfort zone in order to become aware that there is something she wants to change or do differently. If we do not have a challenge, an opportunity or a problem we cannot do coaching. Both the Complicator and the Fluffy Puffy should identify both good and bad aspects of the subject matter. Moreover you should not move to the Objectives phase be fore this is done. At this stage, the more the client is aware of her own reality, the better the Coachs picture will be of that same reality. Both types of clients need to enter the area of challenge, leaving the reality that they live in and gaining a broader awareness of the reality that is. Only with this awareness will there be fuel to create goals and progress to the next stages.
EARTH AREA (PRACTICAL WORLD) Money. How is your bank account? Do you have any debts? Do you think you have enough money or do you need more to have the life you want? And what about material goods such as a home, a car, travel? Health. Are you healthy? Do you have any chronic illness? How do you nourish yourself? Any sports? Do you feel alive? Job/career. Are you doing something you like? Feel satisfied with your career? How many hours do you work per day? What is your level of productivity?
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WATER AREA (EMOTIONAL WORLD) Romance. Do you have a love relationship that satisfies you? Do you love and are you loved? Are you feeling happy and complete without being in a relationship? Family and Friends (with a big F). How do you relate to your children, parents and friends? Contribution. Are you helping create a better world? Any voluntary work? Donations? Satisfied with the help you provide?
ROSA 2.0
S fire
se po r u
p
onal pers ership lead
peer g roup
M air
so hob cia l
s bie life
what you see? How is your confidence and self-esteem? Life Purpose. How much of your day-to-day do you dedicate to doing what you love most? Meaning of Life. Do you have a faith? What do you believe in? What is the energy that encompasses all? Why are we here on this planet? The Pizza of Life is a very deep tool, to be used both by the client and the Coach to develop their roots. It is a practical way of examining all areas of our lives. It is essential to distinguish between the importance that a client attributes to a slice, and her degree of satisfaction with it. Its not about how much you have of this or that slice, but rather how satisfied you are with this area. For example, a person who is not religious does not have to have a zero in the area of the meaning of life, if she is comfortable with that area. But if she does feel that she needs to work on her faith, then the value will inevitably be less than 10. Another example, someone who lives in a rented house, travels by bus and goes camping on holidays, may have a 10 in the money slice, if its a person who does not value material goods. Someone else, who lives the same kind of life but aspires to have a beach house, a great car and travel to exotic places, will assign a lower value to this slice.
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lif e
l sonae per m nt elop dev
meanin of lif g e
contribu ition
y mone
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f Fr am ie
h lt
AIR AREA (MENTAL WORLD) Personal Development. Do you read books, participate in training courses, invest in yourself and in your learning/development? Hobbies and Social Life. Do you have a social life that satisfies you? Do you have free time to do what you like? Peer Group. Groups of people (friends, family etc.) that challenge us and pull us forward. Do you have people that encourage you? How often do you meet with them?
FIRE AREA (SPIRITUAL WORLD) Personal Leadership. How do you relate with yourself? When you look at yourself (on the inside and the outside), do you like
ance rom
work/ca reer
P earth
ily ds n
he a
E water
The client may want to add or remove a slice, and split others. However the most important thing is to recognize the four main areas (PEMS) and the importance of all the slices for your happiness and for gaining a more balanced life. When the pizza is filled out, once again, you will address the positive and less positive aspects of it. At this stage, you should ask your client: 33 Which 2 or 3 areas/slices feel good/strong at the moment? 33 Which 2 or 3 areas/ slices need a little more attention and some im-
REALITY
1. What is the current situation? 2. Concrete examples 3. Objectivity through facts 4. Ask: what, when, where, who?
RESUME
ROSA 2.0
provement? This way you gain even more information about the current situation of your client, which may be very helpful during the rest of the coaching process.
LEVERAGE SLICE
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After evaluating the pizza of life we dedicate ourselves to helping the client choose a leverage slice. We can explain that coaching is about gaining focus, by having only one target to hit at each moment in time. This does not mean that we wont work on any other area; it just means that we first need to solve one slice, one priority slice.
or under control by the client (it only being a matter of time), we DO NOT change the slice along the way. We only do so once we have delivered the wanted results. If we change the slice in each session it becomes difficult (if not impossible) to deliver results, which also become much less sustainable. Coaching is not a process with a magic wand that can transform a slice in an hour! 33 No area is more important than another and the numbers that the client uses to evaluate only mean something to her. Remember that YOU SHOULD NOT JUDGE anything about the pizza of your client. It only needs to make sense to her.
The BabyObjectives has the unique purpose to increase client confidence.
The question to use is: Which slice, if you increase your satisfaction with it by one or two points, would improve the biggest number of your other pizza slices? You can ask your client to select any 5 slices, then 3, then 2 and ask: Imagine that I am the genie in the lamp and I can help you bring one of these slices to a 10, which one would you choose? If your client clearly has a slice that she wants to work, you can proceed with this one right away. The leverage slice is not always the slice that got the lowest rating. Therefore, we should not influence the decision of the client. A few tips:
The slice of leverage is the one in which if there is any improvements will positively affect other slices of pizza.
O(BJECTIVES)
Now that we know the current reality of our client, it is time to move on. At this point, we no longer speak of problems or challenges. That was back in the previous phase. Now we just want to know about Objectives! In Coaching we work with two types of objectives:
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GURU OBJECTIVES AND BABY OBJECTIVES
33 If the client chooses a slice that she gave a high rating, its good news for the Coach, because it will be relatively easy for the client to improve it further; 33 If the client wants to choose a new slice in the next session, no problem. Remember that we are just chauffeurs. Early on in the coaching process, the client may do some reflection and then want to choose another slice. 33 Until the leverage slice is resolved (rated much more positively)
All of us, more or less consciously, orient our action through goals. But we do not always take the right steps. There are people who consciously do, but there are many others who, without being conscious of it, hurt their feet, run without knowing where theyre going, or stop halfway. We can identify two types of goals, which we should use to our advantage: 33 Guru objective a goal that is so big, so big, that theres a voice in our head that thinks its impossible to accomplish. 33 Baby objective a goal that is so small, so small, that we are absolutely certain of achieving it.
ROSA 2.0
Guru and baby objectives psychology is natural to us, not something we learn, nor something we can unlearn. For example, it activates immediately if were in a car accident, if anything threatens our survival or the survival of our loved ones. We then forget whether we are confident or not, successful or not, rich or poor and we only care about finding a solution. This is natural; we always have an ultimate goal in mind while at the same time staying present to the immediate objective since that is what makes us define the next small step towards reaching our guru objective. And we get so engaged that nothing will distract us from our guru objective. Now, this psychology should not get triggered only unconsciously in moments of survival, but also be applied consciously in our lives in general, in our everyday. And yes, it can be activated!
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META+
Our objectives should be: Measurable - Objectives should be very concrete, so that when we reach them, we can check off mission accomplished. For example: I will spend 3 hours a day with my family instead of I will spend more time with my family. Emotional: Objectives should contain grand adjectives that provoke a lot of emotion, so that the brain gives them more importance. For example: I will wake up shining and full of vitality, ready for a new day of fun and productivity. Timed - Objectives must have either a date or a frequency, or both. For example: Starting tomorrow, I will be home by 8 pm every day to have dinner with my children or I will train every day, starting on Sunday. Achievable - We need to believe in the objectives that we set and know that they are possible to reach. For example: I will write a book next month. If you think your goal is too ambitious, you had better adapt it: Ill write one chapter in the next month. Positive (+) - Goals should be stimulating the positive. Neurolinguistics say that everything that we define as positive encourages us and everything that we define as negative defeats us. For example: I 1. will not smoke anymore is wrong, while I will 2. breathe 100% oxygen and make air 3. cleaner for myself and for others is 4. more correct. Or, on day x, I will 5. weigh y pounds, instead of I will lose weight.(Trate a Vida por Tu, pg. 155). 6.
The meta+ model is used to specify the target-guru.
Always remember that an objective is only at the guru level if there is a voice inside you that laughs, finding it impossible to achieve; and a baby objective is only one if you are sure that you will achieve. It is therefore essential to dream, to look farther and reach beyond what our minds can visualize. But beware; if we focus solely on our highest goals, we will never leave the realm of dreams and, over time, we will lose self-confidence. Achieving goals involves taking small steps every day, defining reasonable steps that slowly but surely bring us closer to our guru objective. Success depends on a combination of both. We must therefore learn to live life with very big guru objectives and very small baby objectives! Most people that feel unhappy have developed a guru psychology but not a baby psychology, or vice versa. The former always want more and are never satisfied with their daily achievements. The latter live through small steps but cannot think big, so the little steps wear them out and monotony or apathy reigns. Having a great guru objective without setting baby objectives leads to frustration, anxiety and impatience. Setting baby objectives without having a big guru objective, leads to disinterest, discouragement and lack of direction.(Trate a Vida por Tu, pg. 111).
OBJECTIVES
What do you want? What do you really want? What is the Guru-Objective? What is the Baby-Objective?
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RESUME
What is the dream? (the most importan is to make the client talk about his dreams) In a perfect world? (For those who have difficulty in define Guru-Objectives)
7. Meta+
ROSA 2.0
Why do we need to have these two opposing energies? Exactly for the same reason as the positive and negative energies in the Reality phase. We really need a guru objective, since the effort that the client will have to make and the person she has to become to get there, will make her reach much further than if she had set an intermediate goal. Coaching is about dreams, about the best of the best for each area of our lives! The important thing is not whether or not the client gets there, but that the road she travels takes her much further. Moreover, every journey starts with a small step! We need to create an objective so small, so small that the client is absolutely sure she can do it! Why? To get her motivated quickly, to achieve success and above all to convey the baby objective psychology. We need to make our clients realize that coaching is about big and small steps! The baby objective in itself is not important, but we need to introduce this step here so that your client begins to celebrate every little step that she takes, every piece of homework that gets done. Coaching is about forming a person with both guru and baby objectives psychology! Someone who wants to go really far and at the same time is super happy with everything that she has already achieved!
Encouraging creativity is equally important to teaching children mathematics, Portuguese and science! This is what later on will separate intelligent adults from true geniuses who are able to create something new, revolutionary and innovative in whatever area. It is those who mark others, society, science and the world who ultimately make a difference.
clique no vdeo para o activar
S(OLUTIONS)
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Notas: If a client has a very big guru objective to reach in a short time, and the Coach thinks it is not possible, we can ask the client to convince us that it is possible. On the other hand, if the baby objective is very big, we do the same.
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40 IDEAS
In fact, we are all creative. We have all been children, we have all been creative, and so what happened? What is it that makes our creativity die? The fact is that our society limits our creativity, while forgetting that in a grey professional world, creativity makes the difference!
ROSA 2.0
Anyone who is creative grows through challenges, simply because they put their creativity at the service of what is not working. They go off immediately to search for a solution. And this is available to everyone. This is the basis of the S in ROSA: instead of complaining, go look for a solution! Remember youre always one idea away from solving your biggest challenge. You just havent found that idea yet! Pull out
can start by being creative in one area, or going back to being creative in all aspects of life and our being. To go back to being creative, we must explore our physical body: do sports, dance, act etc. and use your senses to hear, smell, taste, touch and see. The healthier we are the more our body will be available to be physically creative. To go back to being more creative emotionally we have to stop being afraid to feel. We have to venture into relationships, connections, sharing without the fear of being hurt, frustrated, cheated and even happy. To go back to being mentally creative, we must learn new subjects, think about new things, analyze from new angles and perspectives, challenge our minds, have conversations with all kinds of people, read all kinds of magazines, stimulate all parts of our brain.
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obvious
interesting
creative innovative
your creativity and try finding ideas, ideas, ideas... Even the most creative people start with obvious ideas, and it is good to go through them in order to get to the other ones. Little by little we will get to the interesting ideas, and when we stop being afraid of saying nonsense, we become creative. Now the challenge is to get an innovative idea. And that can only be achieved by investing time and energy. When we are at 10 or 20 ideas, to not give up until you have at least 40. Losing our creativity is, in other words, restraining our physical (earth), emotional (water), mental (air) and spiritual (fire) abilities. Children do not have these restraints, in a physical sense they love exploring the world through their body showing you they dont care about posture, for instance, and they seem unbreakable when defying the laws of gravity, with an energy that seems limitless. Emotionally, they are much more open to all kinds of feelings because they have not accumulated many negative experiences. Mentally, they are hungry for knowledge and the concept of right and wrong is not yet set, so everything seems possible to them. Spiritually, they are completely free, they may have some enrooted values, but everything else is an open book. In order to be creative again and go back to having blank pages in the book of life, being able to write and rewrite, improvise and create, we
Finally, if we want to go back to being spiritually creative, we must question all our certainties and dogmas, meditate and open ourselves to the world of possibilities and the inexplicable. We need to know ourselves in order to experience life intensely. If we manage to be creative in all four areas, we will be soon become a new person, with a palette of new experiences and openness to whatever happens, giving us new shape and a different glow. If we can be more creative regarding the first letter of our PEMS, we should really be congratulated for it. The important thing is to enter the challenge zone, to seek solutions in areas that have not yet been explored, in fields that are uncomfortable for others, but that we call our comfort zone. Then everything, and really everything, becomes possible and there are no longer problems without solutions.(Trate a Vida por Tu, pg. 165).
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The very first ideas are obvious. Only then comes the interesting, and then comes the very creative and innovative ideas.
PARADIGM SHIFT
This is the time to get the client to think upside down, i.e. to think out of the box! It is undoubtedly the most difficult phase of the coaching sessions! Your clients will not even want to think and to change their paradigms! The vast majority of people, when trying to solve a problem or challenge, use the first ideas that come to mind - the Obvious ideas the ones that we all have. However there are three more levels of ideas. The Interesting ideas are those that some have sometimes,
ROSA 2.0
and then come the Creative Ideas that are those which generate conflict, because they go out of the box ... shifting paradigms. Finally we have the Innovative ideas that are the ones that nobody sees, but once they are revealed they become obvious.
GREAT. AND WHAT ELSE?
Brainstorming is the most powerful tool for creativity, and the best way of stimulating creativity in all areas of your life. It is essential to do individual and group brainstorming, as it is the best way to find solutions to challenges. What is a brainstorming? As the name implies it is a kind of brain storm. And what do storms do? They stir things up, make ideas collide (thunder) and launch one solution after the other (lightning), waiting for the one that will solve the problem... and put the storm at rest. Brainstorming is not only useful at the workplace. Every person and family should brainstorm from time to time to seek solutions to their problems, from the most basic day-to-day questions (how to deal with expenses, manage domestic tasks, prepare meals...) to deeper and more complex ones (helping a child become more confident, helping a father that is unemployed...). And individually, each one of us should do brainstorming to solve and improve all areas that we feel the need to change.
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Solutions are always related to the Guru-Objectives.
It is very easy to do brainstorming! Here are the six rules to start practicing today: 1. N o judgement! ! All ideas are valuable, even the most stupid ones. In a brainstorming there are no arguments or criticism. All ideas are good initially. If there is criticism, besides generating conflict, it can also inhibit the people involved. 2. Quantity, quantity, quantity. The more ideas generated, the better the brainstorming. Quality does not matter here, only quantity. Why? The first ideas will be obvious, then interesting, then creative, and only then innovative. 3. Hitchhike. You can build on others ideas. No participant should be silent for a long time. If you dont have any idea, you can simply hitchhike on someone elses. The only thing you cannot do is not to participate. 4. Go crazy. From time to time, throw in some ideas that are outside the box. Regardless of how absurd they may seem, this will help you and your colleagues to leave the obvious ideas and make your brains think. At the very least you will enliven the session. If the group laughs at your idea, youre being crazy.
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We may use this ability in all areas of our life, using this unique creativity to make everything unique and different. The goal of a Coach is getting the client to change her paradigm. This is what happens in an AHA moment, when she finds an idea and is sure that this is the one she was missing.
In the picture on the left, do you see a young girl or an old lady? Try to see both. Put your brain to work both ways.
ROSA 2.0
5. T ake notes. The most dangerous thing in a brainstorming session is having no one to write down the ideas. Preferably, the one who writes should not be giving any ideas; she should focus on writing down others ideas. There should also be a kind of a moderator/facilitator of the brainstorming session, not for taking decisions or criticizing, but precisely for making sure that no one tries to take decisions on behalf of the group or to criticize other peoples ideas, and to help keep the focus on what matters. In an individual brainstorming session, you of course need to be your own moderator. 6. A clear goal. You must clearly define what the purpose of your objective is, what the challenge is and if possible write formulate it in META+.(Trate a Vida por Tu, pg. 213).
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And the Coach must be persistent, since this is when you realize that humans are lazy when it comes to thinking. It is very likely that when giving her fifth idea, the client will say that she has no more. Everyone will want to convince you that they have already found the magic solution! But they havent! And how do we know that? Because if they had found it they would already have solved their challenge! During a brainstorming, ideally it is the Coach who writes down the ideas. But she should not alter any of them. And if the client gets stuck, we must ask open and creative questions such as: 33 33 33 33 If you had all the money in the world what would you do? If you were your idol, what would you do? If it were 10 years ago what would you do? If it were 10 years from now what would you do?
Cultivating a sense of humour as a Coach is always a good for relaxing and making people creative. This is in fact important in any area. At this stage, it is very likely that the client will have long moments without coming up with any ideas. Therefore, it is important to create our own personal way of pulling out the clients ideas, such as a small exercise, changing seats or using humour.
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If the client gets to 40 ideas very easily and none is interesting, even for her, it means that she is still in the obvious ideas and then 40 more ideas are always welcome! Creativity is an expansive energy. The more it is cultivated the more it grows and the easier it becomes to use it in other areas of life.
Notas: The Coach may suggest ideas, but only as an encouragement to the client;;
SOLUTIONS
1. Allow the obvious 2. I want more ideas 3. Help to avoid judgment 4. Overcoming objections with questions What if...? 5. Okay, what else?
RESUME
Brainstorming is the most powerful creativity tool. In a brainstorming, the client is requested to come up with a great amount of ideas on how to reach her Guru Objective.
A brainstorming can take up a large part of a session, so it is important to make sure there is enough time for it,
ROSA 2.0
since it is not right to leave it midway. The goal is that the client forces her brain to find new ideas in a short time and in such a way that it is almost like a shock to her; It is important to keep focused on one topic in a brainstorming. Some may change their focus during the process, for example a client whos Guru objective is to open a business may start to suggest ideas on how to make more money. In this case the Coach should remind the client of the main topic. At the same time, the Coach should stay flexible and if the client really feels that their focus was not on the first topic but on the second, its time to go back and set a new Guru objective.
The secret is not to give up on creating ideas, ideas and more ideas until the innovative idea comes! Sometimes it never comes, but getting to the creative ones is already something. Those who have dared being creative many times, and more and more, are those who manage to reach the innovation. Its not enough to have talent; you have to work hard to translate this talent into amazing results. Look at these examples: 33 Bach wrote one cantata a week, even when he was sick. 33 Mozart produced more than 600 pieces of music. 33 Darwin wrote 109 publications, one of which was about the Theory of Evolution. 33 Einstein published 248 theses, one of which was about the Theory of Relativity. 33 Freud published 350 theses.. 33 Rembrandt produced 650 paintings. 33 It took Thomas Edison 2,000 experiments to invent the light bulb and 9,000 to perfect it. 33 Picasso created more than 20,000 pieces of art. This is why it is so important to act! Do a lot, create a lot, invest a lot! (Trate a Vida por Tu, pg. 234).
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ROSA exists only for one reason: to get us to act. We find our Reality, establish our Objectives and think up Solutions that make us act the A is the purpose of ROSA. Now, more than people of action, we must be people of innovation! Innovation is creativity applied to getting the desired results. Being creative is not enough, but creativity is the tool for getting to innovation. So, how do we do this?
A(CTION)
THE FUNNEL
This is the part where coaching really becomes challenging, where the client realizes that she will have to do something and not just think and talk about it. It is the phase where we start to converge and funnel things in order to find an action that is as specific as possible. This is with no doubt the most important phase of ROSA! In a coaching session, anything can happen in any of the other phases, but we cannot end it without an action (without homework!)
What? 33 What are you going to do now? 33 What are you thinking about doing now? (...)
ROSA 2.0
With whom? It is very important to involve someone in the action process, 99% of the homework should have a third person involved. Thereby we are creating conditions for the client to become autonomous after the coaching process. The questions might be: 33 will you ask to ask you whether you have done it?. 33 Apart from me (the Coach), who else will be involved in this? When? Marcar data ou frequncia. Quanto mais especfica for melhor. Isto leva o cliente a pensar exatamente quando vai fazer, automaticamente isto cria um compromisso maior dentro dele. doing this the client should end each session with a specific homework, knowing both the day and the time she will do it, and with whom she will share it.
THE CONVERGENCE TECHNIQUE If the client does not find an action to do, you can use the convergence technique by asking the following questions: 33 Look at your ideas (the brainstorming) and mark those that you find reasonable 33 Now choose 10 33 Choose 5 33 Choose 3 .... 2 33 If I had a magic wand that would immediately fulfil one of these ideas, which one would you choose?
A task should not be so simple that it doesnt make any difference to the client to fulfill it, nor should it be so difficult that it becomes infeasible.
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At what time of the week: beginning or end? At the end of the week! What is for you, the end of the week? Friday, Saturday, Sunday? Friday. Ok. and what time? Anytime. Anytime. Ok. But in the morning, in the afternoon or evening? Morning. And what time? Early. What is early for you? Upon waking. And what time do you wake up? At 7am.
In the early sessions you can also ask the client to send you an SMS after doing the action, in order to confirm it. Of course you dont force her if she refuses, but then if she doesnt do her homework you will have more power to ask for an SMS in the next homework. If she accepts, you may also ask if you can send her an SMS in case she forgets to do so. What will happen is that as soon as she receives our SMS asking whether the action has been done, she will do it immediately so that she can reply that she has. By SMS we also mean any other means, like a telephone call or e-mail. The Coach must be flexible enough to perceive which method suits her client the best. THE HANDSHAKE Shaking hands after defining the homework is very important because it is the archetype of commitment. But remember, if the client does not do her homework there is no failure, only feedback. Maybe the problem really is the kind of homework given or poor explanation about the importance of the homework in the coaching process.
COMMITMENT
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ONE SMALL STEP FORWARD
What is the Next Small Step you can take? This ques-
ROSA 2.0
tion tool is ideal for those who have difficulty in defining Baby Objectives, or those who have difficulty in defining an action to do this week.
Notas: As a general rule, the client will not hear the word small in the question. Therefore we must repeat the question until the action is so small that the client would have no difficulty doing it.
free to put everything she has (skills, tools, knowledge) at the service of her client. Indeed, every three sessions, more or less, you should challenge your client with a piece of homework. However the challenge will vary depending on whom we have in front of us and on the level of the process.
Of course, the Next Small Step may not be the right action to choose for this week. Example: The client wants to buy a Porsche (Guru Objective).
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4 SUCCESS TIPS FOR THIS PHASE FASE Action Plans: it is at this stage that we start working on an action plan that will follow the session. Remember, coaching without action is not coaching! Thats why you should do a ROSA in every session, go through the four phases and always end with a very concrete action plan on what the client will do during the week and until the next session. Here is an example of an action plan:: * What will I do? Run 3 times per week * When? Monday, Wednesday and Friday
Deposit 1000 euros is the Baby Objective. The same process can be used for defining the homework.
What is the first next small step?

Earn 20.000
* With whom? Alone * Possible obstacles? Laziness and lack of time * Benefits? Feeling healthier * What will help me remember? Setting an alarm on my phone * How will I celebrate? By going to the cinema. Save 100 / month. Homework: the tasks between the sessions are a priority for the coaching. Most of the learning comes from the homework that is done between sessions. So remember to always end your session by asking your client to suggest tasks that she would like to accomplish that coming week, the next small steps she can take right now. Then rephrase each one into a concrete action (when, how, where, ...). Still, some clients will have gre-
What is the first next small step?
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What is the first next small step? Open an account. Great, what is the next small step, that you believe you can accomplish?
Deposit 1000
ACTION
RESUME
1. What is the option that has magic? 2. What is the option that makes sense? 3. What are you gonna do exactly? 4. How will you know you make it? 5. Funnel: When? What day? What time? 6. Commitment: handshake
At the end, when an action has been defined, the Coach may also suggest a piece of homework. In other words, then the Coach is finally
RAPPORT
at difficulty in taking action. If this is the case, always look for the smallest step that the person can take. If we do not act its because the step is not small enough. Remember, Every journey begins with one small step. Commitment & Penalties: some clients will sometimes have real difficulty in stepping into action. Sometimes you may have to resort to agreeing on a fine if your client does not accomplish her task. All human beings run away from pain and sometimes in coaching we need to use a little more masculine energy (well talk about that more below) to help. You can even ask the question: What will happen if you do not accomplish it?
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VII RAPPORT
Mastering the ROSA technique and mastering Rapport will alone make you a Mega Coach. Of course you can gain more Roots, but people who attend our courses usually already have quite some. 1ST DEFINITION OF RAPPORT Relationship of trust and influence: rapport is the ability to create trust within a few minutes with various kinds of people and to influence them to act, think and do better. You can only influence after being trusted. Think about people you trust and do not trust: what influence do these people have on you?
Monitoring & Accountability: : the role of a Coach is to provide monitoring to her client. However, the responsibility must always be on the clients side. As a Coach, you are responsible for guiding the process. Your client should define the strategies needed to enable her to take the steps she wants. You should follow and always try to understand what may have prevented her from completing her tasks. Above all, you should be focused on finding better strategies to lead her into action. However, do remind your client that it is her responsibility. Ultimately, acting or not acting is her choice.
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2ND DEFINITION OF RAPPORT Relationship of empathy and sympathy. We only like 2 kinds of people: people who are the way we are or who are the way we would like to be. Empathy: I feel empathy based on the things I have in common with someone. Sympathy: Based on the qualities and characteristics that someone has that I would like to have. Conclusion: rapport is empathy (who is like me) and sympathy (who is the way I would like to be).
RAPPORT
WARNING: Empathy comes before sympathy and trust comes before influence. This is the most important aspect of rapport. I cannot influence anyone who does not trust me.
Part 2: Now lets try to understand what happens in our psyche, why this is the way it is. I invite you to imagine that youre a rabbit in a forest and you meet another rabbit. What happens? Now, imagine you meet another animal thats different from you. What does the rabbit do? FLIGHT (runs away) Now imagine that you are not a rabbit, youre a wolf. You meet an animal thats different from you. What does the wolf do? FIGHT
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Ericson created rapport before proceeding with anything else. This is TRUST and EMPATHY. Ericson was humble and flexible enough to adapt to the client. Only once you have done this you can go back to being yourself. Ways of creating rapport with someone: Verbal: 33 33 33 33 33 33 Language, words; Subject matter; Quotes, way of speaking; Repeating what the other says; Using the others metaphors; Using the same expressions;
Rapport is the ability to create empathy and sympathy.
Now imagine youre a porcupine. What happens? FREEZE Animals have these three types of reactions. Now imagine youre a human being 20,000 years ago and you come across something different from you. What happens? ONE OF THESE THINGS. AND YOU FEEL FEAR. You react the way you do because your psyche does not know what it is. And if it is another human being? I KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT. She is like me. Our fear grows when something is different because we dont know what to expect. Imagine that you do meet a human being, but wearing clothes or other things that are very different. What happens when it is the same kind of animal? What exists there? EMPATHY AND TRUST - 1st LEVEL of RAPPORT. This is a metaphor, of course! Rapport is very unconscious. I could tell you to trust someone but your unconscious may not feel the trust. What regulates that instinct in your psyche is: KNOWING WHAT I CAN EXPECT! WHAT HAPPENS IN COACHING: Clients also have these three types of reactions: flight, freeze or fight. They may not show up for the follow session; they may answer yes, no, maybe, dont know or they may be in constant disagreement with you. Key: the more the Coach is the way I am, the more rapport there is MILTON ERICSON: (Ericsonian Psychology, NLP, Hypnotherapy) found the client within himself and used this as his tool in the therapy sessions.
Non-verbal: 33 33 33 33 33 33 33 33 Gestures; Voice; Mime; Distance; Posture; Breathing; Touch; Speed;

Rapport is trust and influence.
Sometimes its enought just a little attention to help someone, but attention is not coaching.
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Note: Every human being has a natural and unconscious tendency to create rapport with others. To confirm this all you need is to look at two people talking to each other and see how easily you will notice similarities in their postures and way of speaking.
You have only one chance to create a good first impression, but you have plenty of opportunities to create rapport. Rapport is an honest attempt to enter someones map-of-the-world. There is no agreeing or disagreeing, only flexibility. Rapport does not mean friendship. The first session and often the second is a lot about creating rapport!
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RAPPORT MODEL 2 PS
Establishing rapport is a process of many levels and layers of depth.
LEVEL 1 - PRESENCE AND PARTNERSHIP

PRESENCE
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This is the first step towards creating rapport, thus the most superficial one. Presence means that the Coach is fully committed to her client, aware of everything she says and does. Nothing from outside the session should be on the Coachs mind. She must be fully present. Before a session its important ach calm down, forget about gain a notion of where you are
PRESENCE & PAR TN ER SH I POSTURE & PH R AS IN PROBING & PA TIE CEPTUAL P OS PER I
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Dedicate a few minutes to this process. Presence and Attention are among the healthiest actions that lead to real results. You can create a good relationship with your client (child, parent, etc.) just by being fully present and attentive. Even gardens become more beautiful if they are cared for. Presence is about getting yourself into a certain state. Its about being Yin and Yang at the same time. Yin relaxing, breathing, being aware of all five senses, being fully present where you are. Yang mobilizing all your energy by running, jumping, listening to inspiring music...
Empathy is being, doing, talk and think like the other. Sympathy is being, doing, talk and think how the other would like to be.
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that you as a Coeverything else and and what you are going to do.
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PARTNERSHIP Creating an equal relationship with your client. Not top down or vice-versa. The Coach should never be at a lower or higher level than her client. The chairs should be the same, for example. For presence and partnership it is also important to switch off the phone to prevent anything from interrupting the session. Tidying up the table is equally important to having a clean and hygienic space. From 0 to 10, the importance of Presence during a session is a 10. It is the first step! If it isnt there, nothing else will. Psycho-geography is also very important in this area.
PSYCHO-GEOGRAPHY: the way your psyche relates to geography. Example: On which side you like to sleep. Each person has a different psycho-geography. Some prefer to be by the sea while others prefer to be in the mountains.
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Some tips for using the psycho-geography of the client to your advantage: 33 Having a room with a minimum amount of symbols. It is not recommended to have crucifixes or other artefacts related to religion. A bookshelf filled with books can also intimidate the client. 33 Pay attention to details cables on the floor, which CDs are on the shelf etc... 33 Having sessions at the clients home can become dangerous because there are lots of distractions and anchors. Difficult situations might have taken place there, which will make it more challenging for the client to create a distance to them.
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voice and gestures, these are all factors to consider.
POSTURE Regarding posture, one can use two techniques that are very similar and very powerful: Mirroring: When a Coach takes on a physical position that is the exact mirror image of the clients. If the client leans to her right, then the Coach who is facing her, leans to her left. Matching: In this case the Coach adopts the exact same physical position, instead of a symmetric one. Both ways are good and powerful. The goal is to be equal or symmetrical. Of course it is not indispensable to be like the client 100% of the time, as this will take a lot of the attention that the Coach needs to give the client. The more you practice these behaviours the more automatically and unconsciously you will do it. When rapport already is high, you can go back to your own posture and your regular vocabulary. However, should you feel the need, you can always take up these techniques again. In fact, at a high level of rapport it is possible, and entirely positive, that it is the client herself who starts to imitate our posture and words (unconsciously). This is the perfect moment to lead the client and suggest something more challenging to her.
The mirroring copies the exact posture of the client, the matching mirrors.
It is the Coachs job to notice the psycho-geography of her client, and what makes her more comfortable. Despite all the rapport, a Coaching session should always stay professional. Being relaxed is necessary for both parties, but the focus should not be on friendship. You as a Coach need to be professional. You must choose to be a Coach instead of a friend.. When it comes to clothing you should be as neutral as possible in the beginning, but always aligned with your personality. Then you can try to adapt to the style of your client. The mantra here is having the client leave the session thinking that her Coach is just like her! NOTHING IS WRONG. Let your client choose what she prefers.
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LEVEL 2 - POSTURE AND PHRASING When establishing rapport, mere presence and partnership are not enough. Moreover, they are only the first step. The posture and the phrasing that the Coach uses are very important for creating rapport in the relationship. What we refer to here is mainly keeping a posture and using similar words and expressions to those of the client. This way the client will see herself in us and instead of flight, fight or freeze, she will feel relaxed and be much more comfortable about talking. Sitting in the same position as the client, using her posture, tone of
PHRASING You must pay great attention to the words that your client uses and the energy she puts into them. The names of people that she talks about are also very important facts to remember. If you can use the same expressions as your client, you will earn points in rapport. Among these expressions, metaphors are the most powerful ones. Try to explore as much possible the metaphors that are being used. An excellent technique is to use a metaphor of the client to ex-
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plain something. This will reach very deeply into the psyche of the client and have great impact. You can also use themes that the client likes, such as her passions, and keep using them in future sessions to explain something or to give examples. This creates an incredible sense of empathy between you and the client. She will be glad that you are paying attention to what she says and at the same time she will understand much better what you say. The clients ideas are important keys to use when you speak in order to create and maintain rapport. For example, if the client talks a lot about travelling, Ill use the idea (anchor) that is already there because I know it works in his mind. BACKTRACKING: backtracking is a Coaching technique that consists of summarizing the main points of a conversation by using the exact same words that the other person uses. This tool helps the client follow the session and make her own short summary while listening to the Coach returning to what she just said and using the same words. It is important to use at least the words we consider to be the most significant among the ones that the client expresses, those that might be conveying more about her value patterns. Backtracking can help us understand, for example, if we can move to the next phase of ROSA. It helps us understand if the client has finished what she had to say about that phase and that way we can figure out whether we can move forward or not. You can use simple questions to do so:: 33 Let me see if I got what you said - backtracking the conversation using the exact words of the client - and then ending: Is this is it or would you like to add something? 33 So what youre saying is... 33 Can I make a summary of your reality in relation to that slice?
Mastery in Backtracking is being able to quote the last 20 minutes of a session. This will leave your client fascinated and feeling that her Coach is really paying attention to everything she says. Therefore, it is motivating to Backtrack at the end of each session and at the end of each phase of the ROSA. The Coach shows confidence and agrees with the client, shows that she is on her side and really believes that the client will succeed. We must allow the person to be what she truly is, talkative or silent... Silent people also have things to say, it is a matter of asking the right questions.
NOTES When a session is not going well (the relationship is under stress) then the focus should be fully on level 2 Rapport - Posture and Phrasing. The secret is to forget about the rest and build rapport again. Once it is re-established, you can address the problem.
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LEVEL 3 - PROBING AND PATIENCE
Every new level in Rapport brings you techniques that are deeper and more complex. But the good news is that you dont do level 3 Rapport until Level 1 and 2 are done. So you will increase your skills by going from the easiest to the most difficult.
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PROBING Asking questions is more complicated than imitating the posture and words of the client. Indeed, one of the more complicated aspects of being a Coach is to not give opinions and to ask the right questions at the right time. We know that we keep showing you that you already are a Coach and that its easy, but here we must tell you: ITS HARD BEING A COACH! Think very carefully about whether you want to get into it! Listening, asking questions, being patient with the pace of your clients... Even if you have the miracle answer to the clients situation, you need to keep it to yourself! Being patient is a challenge and usually typical
This is one of the simplest and most important techniques when building rapport. When building rapport, avoid paraphrasing (saying the same thing in other words), but do quote. A coach quotes.
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of the great masters. You can only be a master if you want to learn to listen and if you develop a great patience for listening. Questions have the power to illuminate the darkness of your client: by asking a powerful question you really get to see another human brighten up right in front of you! Coaching has the power to open a new world to the client: questions help people discover new resources. Clients tend to find familiar answers, but you as a Coach will lead them to unfamiliar answers. Classic examples of some ways to make your client talk:
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A large part of all our creative potential stops at the door, fearing to ring the doorbell. When learning, the one who doesnt know is far less ignorant than the knowledgeable one. Take risks. Ring the bell. Ask questions. Become obsessively curious: ask questions. How? 33 Using the Coachs ability of asking powerful questions 33 Following the rule of thumb: The Coach has the questions, the Client has the answers 33 Using positive language 33 Respecting the clients map-of-the-world 33 Always guiding towards solutions Examples of powerful questions: 33 33 33 33 33 33 33 33 33 33 33 33 33 33 33 33 33 33 33 33 Compared to what? What does that mean to you? What could be a solution to you? I know you dont know. But if you knew, what would that be? What would be ideal to you? What do you want instead? How does that make you feel? What else could that mean? What do you want exactly? What will you achieve with this goal? What will you do differently next time? What are you doing well? What has to happen for you to be happy and successful? What motivates you the most? Whats the worst possible scenario? And what could be the best scenario? What are you willing to do to achieve your goal? What new things could you could try? What prevents you from taking action? Who could help you with this situation? What resources do you need to achieve your goal?
1. -Repeating what the client just said, but in question form: Client Yesterday I went boating.. Coach Boating?. 2. -What does that mean to you? What does fear mean to you? What does a goal mean to you? Example: Client says, It is not rapport its complicity.Coach replies, What does complicity mean to you?. Client says, Its a click.. Coach: What does a click mean to you? 3. -What else? Serves, above all, to go to the heart of the matter. Others like this one are: Tell me more! and Can you go a bit deeper on that? POWERFUL QUESTIONS: Questions are probably the most beautiful flowers in the garden of learning. Questions are one of the biggest secrets of learning. Creative solutions are practically impossible without questions. If you learn to ask 100 questions a day, get ready for a revolution in your work at all levels. In life, at work, in business, we are all afraid of asking questions. We were educated from an early age to believe that there are right and wrong questions, and we were also taught to not fail, we avoid asking questions because of fearing that they are wrong. The only way to reach the right questions is by not being afraid of the wrong ones... The one who wants to explore learning has to dance with this fear.
To paraphrase can break rapport.
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What else do you want to get out of your life? What do you really want achieve in that area of your life? What is your biggest dream in that area of your life? And what is the next small step that you would have to take? What do you find positive in this situation? How could you attract better persons into your life? What would have to happen to make you feel more fulfilled? If you were your own Coach, what coaching would you give yourself? 33 If I was your best friend, what advice would you give me to solve this situation? 33 If you had all the time and money in the world, how would you fix it? 33 33 33 33 33 33 33 33 In fact, the art of asking questions is the foundations of a coaching process with powerful results! The list of questions to ask seems endless. So, become really obsessed with questions and start NOW! How about adding 10 more ideas to our list? And some more? And many more? Typical coaching questions:
YOUR QUESTIONS
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33 Questions that lead to action: (What will you do? What can you do differently? What do you need to do to...?) 33 Goal-oriented instead of problem-oriented: How would you like it to be?, And if you could, what would you do? 33 Future-oriented:How do you see that situation in the future? How would you like to feel? Beware of questions with negative assumptions: What happens if you dont do it?. They should be followed immediately by a question with positive assumptions: How will you celebrate when you do it?
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PATIENCE Count to 10, relax, work on your roots and realize that coaching is a process and that each person has her own time and rhythm. How can you train your patience? Think of 20 ideas!
STEP 1 The client explains what is going on (she can speak freely without any restrictions. You ask questions to understand the reality of the situation). STEP 2 The Coach suggests this perceptual positions exercise (it is just an invitation! If the client does not want to, do not continue!). STEP 3 The Coach asks the client to choose two spots, representing the two standpoints (you can put a sheet of paper at each spot) and to imagine that the other person is at one of them. STEP 4 The client speaks facing the other spot, as if the person was there, and acts as herself. (The Coach guides with questions: How did that make you feel? What would you like to tell her? etc). STEP 5 Pause and shake out the client and share the question of the game of imagination. STEP 6 The client recalls a childhood game she used to play and describes it a little. We then use this as a metaphor to explain that we will now do the same. Just a game where we use our imagination. The Coach repeats that the person with whom the client has a challenge is there, at the other spot. STEP 7 The client goes over to the other spot and the Coach helps her go deeper into that role through guiding questions. STEP 8 The client chooses whether she wants to return to her starting position and add something, say something more. She may go back and forth as many times as she wishes. STEP 9 When done, the Coach suggests to the client to stand on a chair and states: You are now in a neutral position, a higher position. What would you call this position? (Allow the client to choose a name). Seen from above, what do you have to say about this situation? What would you say to ... (clients name) and to... (the other persons name)? How would you solve this situation? How can... (clients name) solve this situation?
LEVEL 4 PERCEPTUAL POSITIONS
We could also call this the level where we create rapport with our clients psychology. In fact, understanding and perceiving human psychology is a huge advantage for you as a Coach. You are not there to be a friend of your client, as we have mentioned, so then a good way to create a relation with her is through her psychology!
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Do you know the psychology of a teenager, or a parent, a boss, an unemployed? If you grasp your clients psychology, the Rapport will be extraordinary. If you demonstrate that you know how a mother thinks, youll make the client believe that you understand her completely. Most people do not understand their own psyche. If you can understand them at that level, it will make the client to feel something extraordinary about you and the Coaching process. PERCEPTUAL POSITIONS: At this level, the Coach must master Perceptual Positions, that is, being able to put herself in another persons position, whether its the clients or the clients parent, or any other person that is part of the situation. You should be able to see the same situation from different perspectives and, in the long term, help your client do the same. THE EXERCISE: This is an exercise to be used mainly if the client has trouble in a relationship with someone (friend, family member etc) and is having some difficulty understanding that persons Map-of-the-World. And when this is of great importance. You do not need to go very deep in this exercise. Because it is NLP, even done in a soft way it can be very powerful to your client, helping her to see an aspect of the situation that she hadnt seen or reflected on before.
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STEP 10 After the client is done with the third (neutral) position, the Coach takes the client off the papers. STEP 11 The Coach can then use the following questions to debrief the exercise: 33How was the exercise for you? 33What did you learn? 33Is there anything you could do differently? STEP 12 Lead the client to an action (a first small step towards solving the situation) and then funnel it.
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When we grasp the logic of the mind of another person, we can better interact with it and even influence it. Psychology is power! And if we apply on ourselves, it becomes even more powerful and interesting. The better we know ourselves and the logic of our mind, the better we will be able to help ourselves and achieve our goals. Carl Gustav Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist and founder of analytical psychology, focused on studying social and collective archetypes. He identified eight psychological types, taking into account peoples behaviour, abilities, skills, attitudes and motivations. He began by distinguishing between extraverted (social and expansive) and introverted (reserved and reflective) people. Each of them could then be connected to two out of the four functions of the psyche: sensing or intuition, thinking or feeling. In the 40s decade, Isabel Myers and Katharine Briggs continued Jungs work and added two auxiliary functions to the Jungian types: perception and judgement. Thereby arriving at 16 psychological types or 16 personality types. Later a personality test was created The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator or MBTI - which is still the most commonly used tool for identifying different personality types. Based on Jungs work, we have created a model called PEMS, which will help us better understand the logic of our own mind and of the people around us. In this model, we distinguish four dominant preferences (P-E-M-S), which correspond to the four elements of life: PRACTICAL (the body: DOING, Activity, Action, related to the element of EARTH) - corresponds to someone that is earthly, active, dynamic, practical, that does a lot. In excess, these are people who never stop to consider their actions.. EMOTIONAL (the heart: FEELING, Feelings, Love, related to the element of WATER) - corresponds to someone who needs people, relations, who gives a lot to others and seeks affection. In excess, these are people who might be overly sensitive.
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REMEMBER: always undock the client from the different roles; the client can do the exercise eyes opened or closed. TO ACKNOWLEDGE: Acknowledge the client very, very, very much for having volunteered and shown vulnerability! This exercise serves mainly as a metaphor for the Coach, striving to master Perceptual Positions (understanding and being able to go into different psyches). CONCLUSION: The Coach is a master of perceptual positions! She knows how to see the different angles of the same situation. She sees everything from different angles!
PEMS
Life is all about relationships, the relationships we have with ourselves and with others. Some people instinctively relate better to themselves and others relate really well to others. There are those who relate well to almost everything and everyone and others who are unable to relate with anyone. This affects their personal and professional life. Is there any way to consciously improve the relationships that instinctively do not work? Of course!
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MENTAL (the mind: THINKING, Analysis, Intellect, Logic, related to the element of AIR) - corresponds to someone who values analysis, rationalization and uses logic, and who always focuses on making the right decision. In excess, these are people who might become impersonal and cold. SPIRITUAL (the soul: BEING, Values, Existence, related to the element of FIRE) - corresponds to someone who thinks that everything has meaning and a higher purpose. These are people who care very much about values. In excess, they can fluctuate too much and concretize too little. The four logics of the mind that we have identified are also based on the four elements: Practical EARTH (firm, solid, stable, secure, strong, dense) Emotional WATER (flexible, always coming back to herself) Mental AIR (transparent, lightweight, fast, facilitates communication) Spiritual FIRE (burning, fleeting, transforming, powerful) Thus, in a very simplified manner, we can divide people into four categories:
They will talk mostly about people and what they are feeling. Their greatest fear is loosing empathy. They like to feel reliable and they want to relate. HELP THEM FEEL EMPATHY TOWARDS YOU
MENTAL PEOPLE (M) THEY LIKE TO THINK AND TO ANALYSE! These are people who like to analyze and who try to put everything into a box, into a certain perspective. They are precise and meticulous. They like detail, to study and analyze all possibilities. They dont fear debating (quite the contrary) and discussing, they love the exchanging ideas and arguments, but they need to end up being right or get a very good explanation to why the other is right. A mental person is always striving to make the best decision. Their greatest fear is to be wrong; they like to feel that they are correct and that they are making decisions based on logic and rational thinking. HELP THEM FEEL THAT THEY ARE RIGHT!
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SPIRITUAL PEOPLE (S) THEY LIKE TO BE AND TO GLOW! PRACTICAL PEOPLE (P) THEY LIKE TO ACT AND DO! These are the people who like action, movement. They are the ones who make the world move. As friends or clients they may want to go straight to the point, try things and learn about practical matters. The greatest fear of these practical persons is losing control! They like to feel that they are in control of the situation, of the pace of the conversation and of the surroundings. HELP THEM ALWAYS FEEL IN CONTROL. They are looking for the greater purpose of things. They believe that everything has a reason for being the way it is, that there are no coincidences and its that quest that moves them. They give great meaning to every situation, always looking for the situation. The greater the meaning the greater their motivation. Their biggest fear is to have no meaning! That it is to not be significant or shine in any way. They need to feel conscious and whole. HELP THEM FEEL THAT THEY ARE MEANINGFUL Although we all have and use a portion of these four categories in the different contexts or times of our life, one of them is predominant in us. Identifying it is important for managing and interacting with life and with others, since it is the best and the fastest way of accessing the Map-of-the-world of someone and speaking a language that that person recognizes and accepts as her own!
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EMOTIONAL PEOPLE (E) THEY LIKE FEELING AND RELATING! These are people who love people and sharing feelings. Everything is an emotion for them. And they feel things about everything and everyone. Let them talk about their family, friends, dogs, neighbours, etc
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In fact, we are all one, but we are all different and we must understand these differences to be able to deal with others. People who are more emotional behave and interact in a totally opposite manner from mental people, the same way that most practical people interact in a way that is opposite to spiritual people. The EMOTIONAL person is micro-MACRO: Transforms everything that is small into something big. Everything is important, everything is emotional. From the simple good morning to hearing I love you every day. For an emotional person, a discussion is always a tsunami. Therefore, its the emotional persons who, with their micro-Macro sense, make birthdays a special day and receive small things with great love.
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The MENTAL person is MACRO-micro: transforms everything that is big into something small. She makes it more complex by simplifying it. For example this very PEMS model is MACRO-micro, as it strives to make the hugeness of the personality types into something much smaller, creating only four categories for all human beings. The mental person also feels less and give less importance to her feelings. The SPIRITUAL person is MACRO-MACRO: she takes everything that is already big and turns it even bigger, more meaningful, more important, more relevant. Almost everything is a question of values, of making the world a better place and interpretations that go far beyond reality. A simple leaf falling off a tree can represent a new phase in life for a spiritual person. The PRACTICAL person is micro-micro: turns everything into small and simple right here and right now matters. They act. Right now, with what they have. They dont feel the need to enlarge what is small and they dont care much about great concepts. If the five senses can help them grasp a situation, everything is fine.
Practical people act, react, move around, organize themselves, put their hands to work and do not rest until they manage to move things forward. The emotional people feel and feel a lot. If a situation is stressful, difficult and negative, they will have difficult and negative emotions, they will feel what others feel and they will want to manage these emotions in the moment. People that are predominantly mental will under stress begin to rationalize, need logical answers, be fast and analytical. They dont want to solve anything through feelings, they dont want to act, they are only concerned with finding the right and correct decision and struggle until they get it. Finally, the predominantly spiritual people will want to give a greater meaning to that particular event. What has to be done, what people feel or what the right solution is doesnt matter, what matters is why things happened the way they did and what the greater significance of that may be.
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THE PREDOMINANT LOGIC OF OUR PSYCHE The most practical way of finding out is to notice how we behave in a stressful situation. Each of us, when under stress, often react in a way that is very close to our basic personality type.
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MAIN / SUPERIOR FUNCTION AND AUXILIARY / INFERIOR FUNCTION According to Carl Jung, while we all have one function that is better developed than the others a superior function we also have another fairly well developed function called the first auxiliary. All of us have a bit of each one of the psychologies, but there are always two that are predominant: a main one, which Jung calls the superior function and an auxiliary one that lies at the bottom of the cross shown on the previous page, which is always to the right or left of our superior one. The inferior function is one that is less developed and that remains, mainly, in our unconscious. Thus, a person who is predominantly Practical may have as her auxiliary function the emotional or mental logic, thus being PE or PM. A person who is predominantly Mental may have as her auxiliary function the spiritual or practical logic, thus being MS or MP. A person who is predominantly Spiritual may have as her auxiliary function the emotional or mental logic, thus being SE or SM. And a person who is predominantly Emotional may have as her auxiliary function the spiritual or practical logic, thus being ES or EP. This all means that we are situated in one of the following categories: 33 33 33 33 Practical Emotional or Emotional Practical Practical Mental or Mental Practical Spiritual Emotional or Emotional Spiritual Spiritual Mental or Mental Spiritual
Carl Jung said that we should look closely at our inferior function, which usually remains in our unconscious, because it contains an enormous potential for a change, and each one of us can benefit a lot from integrating our inferior function with our superior one. Taking risks, experimenting, enjoying everything that life has to offer is the best way of getting to know ourselves and realizing where our happiness lies. (Trate a Vida por Tu, pg. 74).
INTROVERSION AND EXTROVERSION Introversion and extroversion have to do with the direction in which we focus our attention and energy. People who prefer Extroversion: focus their energy and attention away from themselves and are interested in the world of people and things. 33 Attracted to the world of events and people outside of themselves 33 They are aware of who and what is around them 33 They like to meet and talk to new people 33 They are friendly, often good talkers and easy to get to know 33 They tend to talk easily and often in meetings 33 May not be as aware of what goes on inside them 33 They think while talking 33 They may act or speak first and only think later 33 Speaking about themselves, they speak fast 33 They bring energy into life! 33 They can get bored and restless if they are alone for too long People who prefer Introversion (focus their energy and attention inward and are interested in the inner world of thoughts and reflections). 33 33 33 33 Attracted to the inner world of thoughts, feelings and reflections They are usually very aware of their inner reactions They prefer to interact with people they know They are usually quiet in meetings and sometimes seem disengaged
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Identify the psychological type of the client, can help the coach to anticipate and understand expectations.
As you may have noticed, according to Jung there are no EM/ME or PS/SP. That is, one cant have as her first auxiliary function the function that is opposite to the superior one.
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33 33 33 33 33
They are generally reserved and hard to get to know They may not be as aware of the world outside of them They need time to gather their thoughts before they speak They reflect and think before acting They want to know you before allowing you to get to know them deeply 33 They feel exhausted and tired after interacting with peoples
FINAL NOTE: you must be what your client is!! You have to find that person inside you!
could simplify the learning process. What these persons will demand of you is a greater capacity to analyse and a logical and rational way of communicating. SPIRITUAL: this is, for most people, the most difficult learning style to adopt. Remember that these persons are seeking the greater meaning of things. They really want to feel inspired by the coaching process (and even by their Coach). They will want to see that you are an example of what you talk about, so called congruence. Spiritual persons will enjoy topics that are more related to values, to their identity, that make them feel that they are taking steps towards becoming better human beings. With these clients, you can use powerful metaphors (even through movies, music, creative exercises, etc.) and above all strive to make sure that the person leaves the session very inspired. PRACTICAL: They like action! Which is great because coaching is primarily about action! These persons like to have very practical sessions in which they get the opportunity to do many exercises and experiment with different situations. They may be the clients that like getting more tasks and having things to do (which then sometimes gets lost due to their time management). These clients will require more simplicity and a well-paced session from you. They may also like to do exercises that involve moving their body. Above all, they will want you to help them get into action!
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LEARNING STYLES As we saw with the previous PEMS model, our clients will have different psychological preferences. It is therefore important and essential that you are able to adapt your sessions to the learning style that your client likes best and that better meets her psychological preference. EMOTIONAL: Emotional clients will like to talk and share on their topics. They are very much looking for a relationship and empathy with the Coach and they need to feel heard, more than any of the other personality types. For these persons, learning has a lot to do with the relationship that is created, with the feeling of support that they get and even with the positive feedback. They like to learn through stories. As a Coach, it is important to learn to empathize with the emotional range of these persons. They will appreciate the sharing, to tell stories and to listen to them. With emotional clients, we may sometimes feel that we are not taking huge steps forward. But the fact is that many times these persons need to first be listened to. MENTAL: Mental clients will be more logical and may have a more academic style of learning. They will want to understand the reasons why things are what they are; they will want to get tasks involving research on certain subjects. The sessions with these people must be well defined and prepared. They will want to explore their intellectual side and feel challenged. It is important for them to have access to information and tools that explain the work they are doing in the sessions in a concrete and logical manner. Of course they also need to empathize, but the intellectual challenge, feeling that their intellect is develops appears to be greater. They may like schemes, graphics, and any models that
As we deal with these four kinds of preferences, we need to adapt our Coaching style to the learning style that each person has. Thus, we should prepare a lot their sessions and realize that some will require from you: 33 Greater sharing and ability to listen and relate (e) 33 Researching, mastering the subject very well and knowing how to mentally stimulate your client with challenges (m) 33 Powerful metaphors, very inspirational sessions and congruence that assign meaning to the Coaching process (s) 33 Practical exercises, diversified, well rhythmed sessions that help your client to quickly get into action (p)
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LEVEL 5 - PERSON TO PERSON
This is the fifth level of rapport, the deepest and more intense one. It happens when the level of rapport is a total vibration. Its when the client feels such a confidence by her Coach, empathy and sympathy. Its the hardest level to evaluate. Its when your client feels so much connected to you that, depending on her, your relationship would go beyond Coaching. She no longer wants the Coach, she wants you! You no longer understand only the person, she feels that you know about her! You dont understand psychology, you understand who she is! It is very similar to the rapport level you have with 2/3 of very close persons in your life. Everything is natural, unconscious and spontaneous.
VIII ROOTS
Every human being seeks to get results. Money, Family, Romance, Peace, Happiness, Career, Health ... All we want in life is to have results in those areas! The Map-of-the-World Model is used to work on roots - your roots as a Coach. It shows us how does the psyche of all of us works. As a Coach, no one should surprise you about yourself. You should know you well, know everything about yourself. This is what its called a rooted person!
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ROSA 3.0 UNSUSTAINABLE SUSTAINABLE STRETCH ZONE STRETCH ZONE SECURITY SELF LOVE CONSCIOUSNESS PERSONAL DEVEL P E M S FREEDOM LOVE/BELOVED BLISS CONTRIBUTION EGOTISTICAL ECOLOGICAL S - FIRE - BE
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So the first question is: why some are getting results while others are not?
emotions that create other results. People who are achieving results in areas that you arent have a beliefs system different from yours. And then it seems logical to ask: so what is defining and creating your set of beliefs?
ACTIONS / BEHAVIORS
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This means that anyone who is having results is because she is doing, i.e., behaving differently from other people who are having no results in those areas. For example, a millionaire DOES things that people who are not millionaires dont. For example, saving, investing, etc.... Someone with a great health is DOING things that people that dont have a good health are not. What we are doing is making the difference. Two people in the same circumstances that do exactly the same actions have the same kind of results. People who have the results you wanna have ARE DOING THINGS TO GET THEM! So the next question is: what leads some people to DO and others to not do?
VALUES
What is a value? Its something that is important to you, something you really value. The only thing that determines a value is if it is valuable to you. Not all of us share the same values (Example: the values of Mother Teresa and Donald Trump: Contribution vs. Professional Accomplishment). What you really value and not what you say that you value. You value it so much that it generates your set of beliefs. In fact, when you live your values in practice (on a daily basis) you are defining your life results. Not what you would like to value, but what you are really valorizing. In fact, we all have the same values. What differs is the order and the importance we give to each one of them. For example, if someone has the value of the family above the value of work, she will have the belief that it is more important to spend time with her family, causing her to develop a positive feeling when she is with her family, which leads her to really try to spend more time with it. On the other hand, someone who has the value of work above the family one will be someone who believes she should spend more time with her work and career, as she believes it is that that will bring her more financial stability, for example. So she will associate more pleasure to the time spent at work than at home, causing her to act accordingly to that emotion. For example, Donald Trump and Mother Teresa of Calcutta: havent they got different values? One probably values more professional fulfillment, the other values more contribution. Different results? Sure! One has one of the largest business empires in the world; the other left the largest volunteer organization in the world! So, in reality, the values you are living in practice (what you are valuing in practice) are defining your results. This alone already explains a good part of the psyche of human beings... But lets go deeper.
EMOTIONS
Everything you do in your life is a relationship between pain and pleasure. What happens is that someone who goes running at 6 a.m. associates more pain with not going than with going. Who is going to the gym associates more pleasure than pain with going to the gym in the morning. That relationship between pain and pleasure is what is defining your results... If we dramatically increase the pain or the pleasure associated we will get to change your results. As so, what is then defining that pain/pleasure relationship?
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Having roots is to control the cycle of trust.
BELIEFS
The reason is because of our beliefs, of what we believe in. Our beliefs are our set of rules for the world and for our lives. Your set of beliefs, in fact, is defining your pain/pleasure relationship with something, and then your actions. A millionaire believes that saving is essential, that investing and taking risks is necessary. This set of beliefs leads him/her to associate more pleasure than pain with having these behaviors, and therefore he/ she implements them. Other people have other beliefs that create other
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CYCLE OF CONFIDENCE AND CYCLE OF FEAR
Everyone has Cycles of Fear in some areas and Cycles of Confidence in other areas. How do you know it? If you are having or not results in that area. In the areas of your life where you are getting results, you are living in a Cycle of Confidence. In the areas where youre not, you are living in a Cycle of Fear. What does this means is that you have behavioral addictions, or that you are doing things in a vicious way, you are in a sort of a mice wheel. Those addictions start by creating emotional patterns on you (feelings that you are having whether you want it or not, for instance jealousy; when it becomes a pattern, no matter what the other does, that emotion will keep being there; it is an emotion that happens to you), and those emotional patterns generate limiting rules. We use the words rules because in reality, limiting beliefs are created because they have a very large set of rules. And this generates demotivation. An addiction creates an emotional pattern that creates rules limiting, which create demotivation and discourage us to move and change. This Cycle of Fear is being lived FROM RESULTS TO VALUES and not in the other and right way. The bad news are that we all have Cycles of Fear. The areas in which we are not having results is because we are afraid, but we paint it in other colors. Im afraid, Im demotivated, I have emotional patterns and I have limiting rules. For you to gain roots, you need to recognize these cycles. You need to break it if you want results, but if you want roots you need to recognize them. Good news: you can break Cycles of Fear. Second good news: you have Cycles of Confidence! You also understand the other psychology. So what is a Cycle of Confidence. You start by having the capacity of creating Discipline and Habits; you get the ability to get into a certain and desired state (e.g., being happy to go training; I want to create that emotion, I visualize it; it is the opposite of an emotional pattern; the pattern happens to you. Think of a boxer who puts herself into her wanted state before entering in a ring. You have empowering beliefs (when you believe in something that creates more of it). This creates: energy / passion / being in the moment. Being with energy and passion and in the moment brings me empowering beliefs, which put me in the emotional state I want and provide me
habits and discipline. The good news: you have these cycles in areas that you are getting results. Think in one area. You have these four things, right? Having these cycles its called being human. First part on roots is about knowing your Cycles of Fear and Confidence and admit them to yourself, to those you love, to the others... And having the courage to say that it doesnt work because of FEAR! And there is a way to break this cycle. When you have roots you stop projecting it in your clients. There is a way of finding your values in a very logical way: knowing which human motivators drive your behavior.
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To have roots the coach has to identify her motivators and values, create beliefs and habits, and learn to place herself in a state.
8 HUMAN MOTIVATORS
Maslov pyramid: he was the first to talk about human needs. He is outdated because it defines a hierarchy. He places self-fulfillment at the top. This model is very much focused on Maslovs map-of-the-world, who was an MS. If it is a PE he may have family in the top and that is not wrong. Still, there are things that all humans need. So with all these models, we created the 8 human motivators: they are divided in four paradoxes, one for each of the PEMS. The first paradox is security / freedom. Each one of us was born with a set of motivators. You are addicted on one side of the paradox. You have to fulfill that need even if you have to abdicate of the other one
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SECURITY SELF LOVE CONSCIOUSNESS PERSONAL DEVEL.
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FREEDOM LOVE/BELOVED BLISS CONTRIBUTION
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The main lesson is: the more you live the other side of the paradox, the more you will live your addiction as well. What happens is that you can only get more of your addiction when you learn to validate the other side of the paradox. This is what Jung calls paradoxes integration: be the millionaire and the altruistic. Be the mother of family and career, etc ... Only when you integrate the other energy is when it boosts the one that is more natural to you. For other persons it happens the same with security and all other paradoxes. The suggestion is: Im addicted on this, but I can pause and I can go exploring the other side. What you have to figure out is your map (draw in the infinite signs which side of the paradoxes is bigger). Your map is about how much you need to fill each side of the paradox.
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have to feed them. Imagine a homeless person: he meets his/her security needs (eating and having where to sleep), but he has to do it every day. Now compare with Donald Trump. If you see the freedom part it probably happens the opposite. 33 SUSTAINABLE: it feeds itself. It is something that can continue without the need for external resources. It is ecological, based on challenge and paradoxes integration. 33 UNSUSTAINABLE: you need to do it every day, it is selfish, based on comfort and extremist. You do it like it was a daily shot. Example: father and daughter about going out at night (to satisfy safety and to love and be loved). Father says no: hes being selfish and within his comfort zone. The same father after coming to this course: Youre going to the party until 22.30. You send me an sms saying that everything is ok and at 22.30 Ill pick you. This continues for some time. Father goes on diminishing the rules. Now hes being ecological, entering his challenge zone and integrating paradoxes. To feel safe as a father he has to give some freedom. To feel loved, he has to give them some self love. Now, his motivators are sustainable and has a sustainable system that feeds itself. To arrive to a deeper level of security he needs to take the risk that comes from giving more freedom.
So, YOUR HUMAN MOTIVATORS ARE DEFINING YOUR VALUES AND YOUR VALUES ARE DEFINING YOUR RESULTS. You can have everything on one of the sides of the paradox, if youre willing to face the fear of losing it. All people fill their motivators. The difference between us is how sustainable is that satisfaction. Unsustainable means that every day you EXERCISE Do your map. How do you discover? Based on major decisions you made in your life. Example: work, home, relationships, etc..
DIAGONAL CONTINUOUS LINE
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This line shows us that working above the line, ie, the clients behaviors and/or emotions, is short-term and unsustainable. In this case only the techniques are worked. There are immediate results but with no major impact and duration. Like when we are called to do motivational speaking or teambuildings. People feel better and do things, but the results have a short duration. This does not imply that it is wrong to do Coaching based on these two areas. For example, in a quick conversation with a friend we can do Situational Coaching (based on behaviours) in order to get her to do something that has been postponing. If the action has been made and it was what was intended to be, then you did your role as Coach. The Remedy Coaching is also important sometimes, which consists on making the other person to leave the session feeling good, thinking more positive at the time, having had an opportunity to digest an emotion.
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Below the continuous line is where lies the deepest work. The one that will actually be sustainable and with long-term results. This is where we work values and beliefs, it is where we go deep to the point where in fact we shift paradigms. The client, in this type of Coaching, change her beliefs and values, turning to be a really different person, in opposition to what happens above the line, where only the emotions or behaviors are changed, but the client continues to be what she was.
Friend They want someone who listens to them, who is patient with them, who is always there, with whom they can always count and talk. Most of your clients will want to have you here: that you turn into a sort of confidant that supports them but does not challenge them too much. But you are not there to be a friend! Boss Many will seek in the Coach someone to tell them what to do, who provides them specific guidance, who pressures them, who punish them when they dont have their homework done. Someone who is even more committed with their results than themselves. But youre also not there to be a Boss! Priest Others will want a kind of a weekly confession session. That you absolve the mistakes theyve made during the week; that you tell them everything is fine and that it doesnt matter, we are all human and we all make mistakes. You are not there to be a kind of spiritual leader of your client and to absolve him! You are there to be... Coach - The Coach has an Air relationship with the client, i.e., mental, of communication, because it is a conversation where you listen and ask, where there is intellectual stimulation. In the map-of-the-world scheme the Coachs sketch is in the quadrant of beliefs. It is a mind with mind work. It is important to know this, because with the sessions going, clients tend to try their Coach to become a friend (water/emotions), a boss (earth/behaviors) or even a priest (fire/values). However the Coach should avoid the mistake of behaving like one of these three types. You are there to be a Coach!
Notes: In Informal Coaching, with friends, colleagues, family, remember that first thats what you are and only then you are a Coach. Therefore you should not give prevalence to the Coach but to the relationship you have with that person, otherwise you would violate the pact that exists between the two.
ICEBERG
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With the iceberg image, it is understood that the behavior is the conscious part of the human being, the only thing that the client can see and analyze. Everything else, emotions, beliefs and values are at the clients unconscious. But as a Coach, I must and I want to work also the unconscious because, as we saw above, this is where it lies the sustainable and long-term work. When we help our clients shifting their paradigms, beliefs, emotions or values, we are working with their unconscious. Your client will not like this at some point in the process. The unconscious will realize that she will have to change and this will cause the first resistance. Knowing how to overcome this is essential to the Coachs work so she can deliver sustainable results. Conscious Mind: keeps all the information which you now can access
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Unconscious Mind: keeps all the information that has ever passed through your brain. It is also a kind of a warning system for you. The information passes from the unconscious to the conscious mind through the subconscious. It goes dropping into deeper levels of our mind. Very quickly your clients will want to turn you into one of three things:
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4 TYPES OF COACHING
Based on these four quadrants, there are four types of Coaching: Situational Coaching The one that is done immediately, during the situation, with the sole purpose of leading it to an action. It usually consists of a brief conversation where a ROSA 1.0 is done. Your client has a situation that week that really needs to be addressed: Ex: a proposal that she needs to present; a college exam for which she has to study. Its not bad Coaching, and it is often necessary. Only it is more superficial.
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KEY POINTS
We said earlier that we all have Cycles of Fear and that we can change them to Cycles of Confidence. How? Imagine that you have a turnscrew and a bicycle wheel is malfunctioning. You will then put the turnscrew into one of the four key points and then youll pull and force the wheel to move in the right direction towards the Cycle of Confidence. And very important: you dont take out the turnscrew until the Cycle (the wheel) rotates in the right direction! What are then the Four Key Points? You can really choose only one! VALUE FOCUS. At this point, you will choose a key value for you which you cant leave to live in practice! Whatever happens, you cant take the turnscrew from there! For instance, imagine that you are experiencing serious financial difficulties and you decide that Value Focus is your point. Imagine that you choose saving as the value that has to be experienced in practice. Then, whenever you have to make a decision that involves spending money, you know what to do. You cant, in any way, stop living this value until the cycle begins to rotate in the opposite direction and gets sustainable. POSITIVITY. If you want to work at the level of beliefs, youll start to develop this empowering belief base: BEING POSITIVE! You must be a positive person, with faith, who believes that everything will go well, who says only positive things about herself and the others, who sees and is focused on everything positive that is going around her! And when the bad days or the bad news are coming and you feel the need to say something negative... you shut up! And you say something positive... EMOTION FOCUS. Imagine that there is an emotion that makes your Cycle of Fear to happen (an emotional pattern). In this key point, you will choose an emotion that you would like to learn to cause in yourself, learning how to get yourself into that state. Imagine that you have been feeling too much anger in your Cycle of Fear and want to feel harmony instead. You want to learn how to get into that emotional state. You start feeling the opposite emotion and you do something to manage to be in an harmony state (you listen to a song that gets yourself into that state, you put your boxing gloves, you jump, you meditate, you close
Remediative Coaching As the name says it suits when we have to put a bandage/ointment on the emotions. The goal is the client to feel good at the end of the session, without having to go deeply on the problem. Its the typical conversation where the client unburdens and your only goal is to make her feel a little better. Sometimes it may be, and it often is, necessary. Ex: the past week your client has discussed with someone important to her or something happened that greatly dealt with her emotions. Your first focus should be to help her to unburden and to feel better. We used ROSA 1.0 + Unburden Transformative Coaching Here the goal is not just making the client to feel better, but that she can change the way she sees her life and herself. Here we mainly work on beliefs, i.e., the client stops believing in some things to start believing in another ones. She shifts paradigm. Coaching is now much more sustainable and with long-term results. It undergoes through more complete sessions where ROSA 2.0 is done. Holistic Coaching This is the kind of Coaching that involves the whole being of the client, all her areas and valences, i.e. her values. The entire psyche is worked. We are working the whole Human Being and not only a part of it. Even the motivators are worked. We use ROSA 3.0 and we work a lot on paradoxes integration!
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your eyes, you read a poem as Mandela did ...)
HOMEWORK FOCUS. Here you will define a homework that until its done you wont do anything else! Imagine that you have a Cycle of Fear in relation to health, that you define Homework Focus as the key point and your homework is running every day. Until you manage to do it, nothing else matters! All of your strategies are directioned so that your homework is being done as soon as possible. In the end, all of the four key points have to do with absolute focus:
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another method. For instance, if a client has as her main challenge to be promoted, then theres no logical on working on Cycles of Fear, but to make a ROSA and move forward. On the other hand if you see that there is a Cycle of Fear, then you should find the key point so you can work on it. I cant help the others if I cant help myself first.
Value Focus on the most important value. Until that value is being lived we wont move on; Positivity (Faith / Optimism) Focus on the positive emotions. Until she gets optimistic we wont move on; Emotion (Meditation) Focus on pleasure. Until she feels more pleasure than pain we wont move on; Homework Focus on action. Until the homework gets done, we wont move on.
VERY IMPORTANT You as a coach do not have to guess your clients map-of-the-world, or even her PEMS, but you have to explore it, aside of her. You will only master her Map-of-the-World when you understand your own (creating roots), because you will never learn anything about yourself with your client, you will never discover anything about you, because shes the one who discovers it, being real or not. You, Coach, you must be humble enough to know that you know nothing about your client and you shouldnt try to guess anything. It is the customer who gets there alone. Therefore, the more knowledge you have about your own map-of-the-world, together with Rapport and ROSA, the more intense will be your Coaching, because the more you will be able to help your client. The goal is that you have the tools in yourself so you can help her. In other words, this tool is for you to deepen your roots and thus know when you need to do only ROSA, or go searching for the Key Points or to use
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RESULTS
RESULTS MODEL
It is possible to define results through the four metrics.
IX RESULTS
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am) values (I think) Beliefs (I emotions (I feel) (I do)
Results are super important in the Coaching process. There is simply no Coaching if there are no results, and thats why they are at the center of the triangle of the four Rs. Everything we do, whether is ROSA, creating Roots or building Rapport, it is done with the purpose of getting results at the end of the sessions. This is what distinguishes the most Coaching from other practices! As a Coach, you must become obsessed with your clients results. Not only that they do their homeworks, but also how close did Coaching took them closer to their Guru Objective, how much it has improved their leverage slice of the Pizza and other slices as well. We also try to assess the sustainability of those results. We dont want them just to get there, but also that they keep there! Coaching is about results and you must take this premise very seriously! You have been hired to make them reach some goals! Become obsessed with it! It is not so easy to evaluate results in a metric way in the world of Coaching, but it proves to be very important. Not only with Life Coaching but also with Business Coaching. We must find a way to demonstrate that our work has had results in practice. That was the reason why we have created the Results Model.
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S AXIS (SPIRITUAL) WE EVALUATE THE PROCESS IMPACT ON THE CLIENT Behavior (I DO) : When the client, throughout the process, changes one or more behaviors. She does now, due to the sessions, different things that she didnt before. Emotions (I FEEL): When the client feels happier, more self-confident, fulfilled, etc. She has now different and more positive emotions due to the Coaching process.
Our level of competence is equal to our worst level of performance.
RESULTS
Beliefs (I THINK): When there is a change of belief (I used to believe I was not a good person and now I believe I am). When the client used to believe in something and she started to believe in something different. There was a paradigm shift. She used to see something in a certain way and now she sees it in a more empowering way. Values (I AM): When the Coach manages to help the client to change her values, i.e., the person she is. This happens, for example, when the client starts to put more emphasis on family than on work, or when she accepts and believes that she is a healthy and different person and that nothing will change that now. She values different things todat due to the Coaching process.
meone else. She is totally independent. It is every Coachs dream. M AXIS (MENTAL) WE EVALUATE THE CLIENTS CONTENTS ASSIMILATION Uses Rosa 1.0 language: o cliente usa palavras como Realidade, objetivos, solues, aes fazem hoje parte do seu lxico Uses Rosa 2.0 language the client uses terms such as guru objectives, baby objectives, measurable, beliefs, paradigm shifting, brainstorming, etc... Uses Rosa 3.0 language: she refers terms like emotional patterns, cycles of fear and confidence, values dilemma, etc... Uses unconscious Rosa language: when many of these terms are so ingrained in the clients language that she thinks she will use them for the rest of her life.
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E AXIS (EMOTIONAL) WE EVALUATE THE CLIENTS AUTONOMY Level 1 Coach (Coach/Client Relationship): Its the Coach who controls the situation. There is a formal relationship between Coach and Client and the session is controlled and oriented by the Coach. Level 2 Coach (Co-Coach): The Client already acts as a Coach during the sessions. This happens for example when the client already knows that she is supposed to also say positive things on the Reality part, that is, she already knows what to do in each step. She already takes the initiative. The relationship is more about cooperation now and the Client start becoming autonomous. Level 3 Coach (Self-Coaching): When the Client already does Self-Coaching at home, not being asked to. This is a fantastic moment, because she already has the tools and the Coach is there to help and support. Level 4 Coach (Coach to others): When the Client comes to a session and tells us she has done Coaching with someone else (with her child for instance). This person came to us to be helped, however she is already using our tools to help so-
P AXIS (PRACTICE) WE EVALUATE RESULTS IN PRACTICE During the Session: I can manage the client to get results only during the session. It is a Coaching session that has no power to influence the client outside it. Between Sessions: It mostly happens when the client is doing her homeworks. It means that what happened during the session touched her with enough strength to get her to realize she has to do something and that she is doing something outside the sessions. Leverage Slice: It happens when the client fulfills her Leverage Slice and achieves the goal that brought her to Coaching or when her satisfaction in that slice has dramatically improved. Holistic: When the client improves satisfaction in multiple slices as a result of the sessions, including the leverage slice. It was a process that had an impact on the whole being and not just in one area of her life.
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TOOLS & TECHNIQUES
You can make this model with your client on the last session you have together. You can also make a self-assessment to compare with it. When you measure these four levels of results, you will have access to check what level of Coaching you had on that specific process.
COACHING LEVEL
The Coaching Level that you have delivered is always proportional to your lowest result. Even if you have three axes at level 3 and have only one at a level 2, Coaching has been 2.0. This is valuable information to you as a Coach because it gives you an idea of axes that are easier for you to work and others that you may have to further strengthen.
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X TOOLS AND TECHNIQUES

If you master well the model of the four Rs, for us you already are a fantastic Coach! If you can master some stars too, its even better! But if you master the model, you know how to do Coaching. But now lets go to the small stars! The idea is not that you try to use all the stars at the same time! Choose the two or three that you like best and train those first!
Level 4 Coaching is something that is not achieved with all clients. There must be a great empathy and rapport, as well as a mastery on the Coaching technique that has been taught in the training course and presented in this manual. Gulica ego catia caperum dem inem cus? Fortes et L. Nos et grae avehem Romnit acto egeris cis sultod pratum, voltum iam hos, ublius hactam atemus essede con vas optilis, factor aus, nem ad cae estil hos, me patus re, verisse inatuus. Udam deperfecrem, nermis etraed me int, ela remulibut rem loctusquo cum mus auciem, vivehem uresull emquissent, eti primperescit ina, que ia consiss entium pulerit. con vendam morei sentes inatil vit ia quam mus licaudemus factem dum, eo, ura ex muro, nenit, quo vilnestium, Catimportus pati postalarit vis coena, fui sa consu consceribus. Satquid ertienatus contere essimis, ut vis aus iliciam, quo in dissimis. Ra num deatiqua vere con sentius et; in spio pes? Tiaetin videlisquam mus viliam que conum is larbit, etora notimolto nos et duc omnimus, opublicae convo, C. Nos, vivica; Catus hos, vivas aurnihil hui terfint imorter labus hostam res inequod nerem tabute telieni hilicaessil ventem nonsulis. Berteropubit diisquium iteriti emprit, teludam hilicid erfentiur, tem huis. Hum pro vidiusquem paterevid sedis factatu rnihilla rem publicave, Caterev irissoltis re aurei pere anum teluder ficepse essercem octuusque mis tum inam pra vivid rei condamdiis hacies! Ipio verei sendamdis
POSITIVE FEEDBACK
Provide as much positive feedback as you can to your client! Take every opportunity you have to do it. A Coach is the type of mirror that only says good things about her client! Please turn yourself into someone who is always valorizing every small steps that your client takes.
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FEEDBACK HAMBURGER
You say something positive, then you say something negative, then you say something positive again. The two positive feedbacks have to be VERY, VERY good! For instance: I have been feeling that you are very committed to your Coaching process. We just need to start paying more attention to our homework even because I feel that you are a person who likes to challenge yourself and that really wants to go further!
RESSIGNIFICATION
Ressignificating is finding another meaning still more empowering, but that changes everything. E.g.:I didnt do my homework. I failed. Coach: Wow! That means that you are a demanding and committed person. Im lazy!...
TOOLS & TECHNIQUES
Does that means you like to enjoy the pleasures of life?.
find a third way.
REFRAMING
It is much like ressignification. Its the name that is used in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). You take the information that was been given to you in a frame and you put it in a new one.
VULNERABILIZATION
Find out things about you that are not working and put them at the clients service. That makes you human and you are validating your client in the case she feels the same. She does some things better than you and has some of the same challenges.
PREFRAMING
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If ressignification has to do with changing the meaning after it has been given, preframing has to do with giving a meaning to something before we have explained what it is. It is a widely used technique to anticipate objections that might distract us from our ultimate goal. Then we do preframing: we previously give the meaning that we want the person to give afterwards. Example: Can I show you my point of view? Its something different, but Ive seen that it works with many people and it has been helping a lot to change our behavior to healthier habits. Its something innovative and different, but highly successful. Can I tell you my idea? You create a frame before placing the information in there.
ASSOCIATION AND DISSOCIATION
These two terms are often used in NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) and are used in various ways. Association means that an individual describes a situation as if it was happening and he was participating on it. As the name indicates, he is associated with it. He is still seeing himself going through the situation and feels the emotions that he would feel if he was really living it. Dissociation means that an individual can already tell that experience as if he was watching a movie in which he took part, but already dissociated from it. He is more in an observer role. That allows him a bigger emotional objectivity. Even if he feels the emotions, they are more about the experience itself and not so much about him as a participant. When we want to help our customers to overcome some emotionally more challenging situations, it can make a huge difference to have them to dissociate from those situations. Thats how they can gain greater objectivity and clarity, and at the same time they get more motivated to take their first steps.
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POSTFRAMING
First you give the information and then you put it in a frame. E.g.: Folks, today we have an exam (the low energy level) but thats what this course is about: to be the best Coach, to go further.
FROM 0 TO 10 ...
To give examples: I think Ill read a book. Coach, From 0-10, how much do you think you will accomplish that goal?
METAPHORS
TRANSFORMING OR IN AND
Help the client to find an alternative solution, to integrate paradoxes, to
The most important here is that you use the metaphors of your client. Use her world whenever it is possible. It will help a lot more to internalize and memorize the information. Help your client to create her metaphors. E.g.: Sometimes we fall into holes that are so big that you cant get out of them alone; Learning to forgive someone is like driving: one step at a time
THE COACHING ETHICS
LANGUAGE OF A COACH
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33 HOW TO INTERRUPT: at the first session it must be defined if the Coach can interrupt the client when she deviates from the focus. If youre going to interrupt your client, you must always do it with a question. You can also take note of something that has nothing to do with the subject you are talking about, but it seems important. So we can talk about it in the next session. You can ask the client if she liked to talk about it. 33 DOES IT MAKES SENSE FOR YOU?: If she says NO: So tell me...?; if she says YES, can you tell me how?. 33 MY HALLUCINATION is ...: Being very unconditional. Any opinion is a good opinion. The Coach realyy doesnt know. The word hallucination implies that what youre saying may be absolutely wrong. 33 WHAT WOULD LOVE DO NOW?: Be careful with the rapport level you have with your client. It is a very good question when it concerns relational issues. 33 HOW WOULD IT BE IF...: Very good to overcome objections: how would it be if you had time?; how would it be if you had money?; how would it be if you had self-confidence? 33 WHAT IF ...: Fantastic to destroy any obstacle that your client brings. Some examples: And what if you could?; Why not?; What if nobody would know?; What if you had money?; I know you dont, but what if you knew... what would you say?. 33 GENERAL TIP: BE COOL! You really must have a cool and relaxed attitude! You really dont know what would be best for your client so be really unconditional
XI THE COACHING ETHICS

There are six ethic rules in Coaching, but with no doubt the first is the most important. CONFIDENTIALITY: Coaching sessions must be given the utmost confidentiality. There are no legal rules as in Therapy (like not having family as clients), but you always have to respect confidentiality. When you do Coaching in a company and you must give feedback to their manager, your clients must know it. If necessary, you can discuss the case with a mentor, but always without mentioning the name of your client. You can discuss the cases, but without any names. CLIENTS AUTONOMY: Coaching is all about autonomy and sustainability. You need your client to get results, not that she needs you. You should think: if I change country, how would my clients be? CAREFUL WITH PROJECTIONS: We all project aspects that we repress in ourselves. All currents in psychology agree that there is projection. When I look to someone else what I see is whats inside of me (strengths and weaknesses). Thats why some see one thing and others see another. As a Coach you must be very attentive to projections. You should not do it with your client and for that you must work on your roots. If something bothers you, that says more about you than about your client. Its not just a technical issue of respecting others map-of-the-world. It is an ethical issue. CREDIBILITY: Of course you can use other different tools in your sessions, but you should be able to do so. Using things on which youre not certified is breaking ethics. Try to be congruent and integrate. Being a corporate or a sales Coach without being an expert about those matters is not ethical.
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THE FIRST SESSION IN PRATICE
CONTRACT IS CONTRACT: The financial commitment you assume with your client is always the same as long as she is your client. The same in what respects sessions frequency. You should always ask permission to your client when you want to change the frequency of the sessions. For WeCreate, the value you charge to your client must be the same forever. It is part of our gratitude towards our client. SELF-COACHING: The Coach must be an example of Self-Coaching or she should have a Coach. You really have to do ROSA once a year, at least, and use all these tools in a weekly basis. Make sure that you are also an example of achieving your own dreams!
XII THE FIRST SESSION IN PRACTICE

It is normal that the first session is a bit longer (90min). Your focus is to build RAPPORT! Here is an example of a few steps for your first session. You can have a few more or less of these steps, but this is the general idea... STEP 1: Memorize these steps so that you will not have to use this manual STEP 2 (Partnership): Organize the working space, have everything prepared, adequated clothes, etc. STEP 3 (Presence): Prepare to be fully present, by meditating or by being a few minutes in silence STEP 4 (Posture and words): Build rapport, have a few minutes of casual, positive and neutral conversation to break the ice. For example: the weather, the clients favourite team football match, etc... STEP 5: At this stage you will also try to collect information about the client. Several aspects of her life and trying to determine clients expectations regarding the Coaching process. You will be attentive about the metaphors and about what is really important to her. Youll need it to explain what Coaching is in her words. STEP 6: Explain what Coaching is, using the clients words and the references she gave us. Example: lets imagine that boxing was something that the client liked and we want to explain
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THE LAST SESSION
Coaching through boxing: Coaching is like boxing! It involves a lot of training to succeed in getting results, but instead of having an external enemy, we are fighting against ourselves!. STEP 7: Inviting the client to do an exercise: we pick six pens (three of each color). We ask her to tell us three things that are going well in her life and we explore each area a bit. Then we ask: among those areas, which one is running really well?. Then we ask for three things that are not going so well and explore a bit. STEP 8: Asking the client which 3 goals she would like to accomplish by the end of the Coaching process, that would make it worth the investment (as measurable as possible) STEP 9: Establishing verbal contract and selling the idea of coaching (even if the sessions pack is already closed). Now we talk about the practical issues: sessions frequency, sessions length, interrupting the client, first session a bit longer, confidentiality guarantee. If you feel comfortable you can talk about costs and forms of payment. STEP 10: Can we start our session talking about what brought you here? How can I help?. STEP 11: Talking a bit about the Clients reality and introducing the Pizza of Life. The client draws hers. We will go on explaining the pizza and its different slices (very briefly not to influence). Some clients like to do it alone, others like to go on talking as they fill the slices. STEP 12: From then on you make ROSA 1.0. STEP 13: You end up the session. You can share ROSA methodology with your client (if you think shed like it) and ending with positive feedback. You can also ask the client how did she feel. You can also ask her to choose an object and summarize the session. You will also be doing some preframing by stating that Coaching is about action and homeworks.
XIII THE LAST SESSION

A coaching process has a follow-up. We can work with individual sessions or with a pack. It is important to inform your clients that Coaching is a continuous process and not a process with miraculous results in the first session. Hence it is like doing workout where it is difficult to get results if we go to the gym only once. You can work with packs of sessions (5 or 10) and we would like to give you some tips on what you should ensure it gets done in your last coaching session with someone you have been working with. FUTURE: It is important to ensure that the client will continue taking steps in the future, even not having sessions anymore or your presence. In this session, you should spend some time helping her in creating an action plan about the next steps she wants to go on taking in that area. You can also take the opportunity to do a small summary of everything that you both worked in so that there is a notion of the progress made and the results achieved. Ensures that your client completed that process and be sure about the next steps for her future. Help her in creating a good action plan. HABITS: You can also ask your client which would be the daily or weekly habits that she would like more to integrate into her routine. POSITIVE FEEDBACK: This is also the perfect time to give positive feedback to your client (despite being a constant throughout the sessions). Show her the progress she has made throughout the sessions and help her to realize all the positive things she has achieved.
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PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT: We must ensure that our client continues its personal development process and knows or tries new approaches. Coaching is just one part of a wide range of options that are now ahead of her. Encourage her to continue that journey, to read new books, to try other trainings and workshops, other different and complementary ways of approaching personal development. KEEPING CONTACT: You can develop some form of contact with your old clients. Email, telephone, facebook, etc. Remember to continue sending her information about coaching or other matters you find important. It is a way to ensure that your client will continue awaked for this subject.
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Thank you for being part of this project!
Daniel S Nogueira and Marta Ferreira
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COACHING l a u n a m

III WHAT IS COACHING?

Daniel S Nogueira and Marta Ferreira

WELCOME TO THE FIRST EDITION OF THE WECREATE INTERNATIONAL COACHING CERTIFICATION!

TIPS FOR USING 100% OF OUR MANUAL:

INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING

YOU ARE ALREADY A COACH

YOU ARE ALREADY A COACH

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INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING

INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING

III WHAT IS COACHING?

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INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING

COACHING IS ABOUT THE FUTURE

THE CROSSROADS OF LIFE

INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COACHING AND OTHER PRACTICESS

INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING

INTERNATIONAL COACHING PRESUPPOSITIONS

I, AS A COACH, NEVER KNOW THE SOLUTION!

IV INTERNATIONAL COACHING PRESUPPOSITIONS

INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING

INTERNATIONAL COACHING PRESUPPOSITIONS

5 - BEST OPTION AT THE TIME

6 - CAUSE AND EFFECT

INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING

INTERNATIONAL COACHING PRESUPPOSITIONS

INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING

The fundamental Reality question is: WHATS UP?

EXAMPLES OF QUESTIONS: LETTER O

The fundamental Objectives question is: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

EXAMPLES OF QUESTIONS: LETTER S

EXAMPLES OF QUESTIONS: LETTER R

The fundamental Solutions question is: GREAT! AND WHAT ELSE?

INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING

EXAMPLES OF QUESTIONS: LETTER A

INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING

FLUFFY PUFFY VS COMPLICATOR

At the stage of Reality, we find two main types of people:

INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING

INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING

onal pers ership lead

l sonae per m nt elop dev

INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING

The BabyObjectives has the unique purpose to increase client confidence.

GURU OBJECTIVES AND BABY OBJECTIVES

INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING

INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING

INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING

INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING

GREAT. AND WHAT ELSE?

Solutions are always related to the Guru-Objectives.

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INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING

click the video to see it

INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING

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INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING

ONE SMALL STEP FORWARD

INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING

What is the first next small step?

What is the first next small step?

INTERNATIONAL CERTIFICATION COACHING