Choice and Consequence

Ever since I watched a movie in London United Kingdom in the 1980s titled Choices I have come to appreciate the relationship between the choices we make in life and the consequences that follow thereof. Working with individuals with developmental disabilities in the past three years have reinforced this realization. Every person is (made) perfect, whole and complete. Whether by a twist of fate, fortune or foible some persons have or come to have limitations in managing basic daily life activities. They face challenges in making everyday life choices or as defined by society lead a normal life. Who says that a blind person or a physically handicapped person cannot live a normal life? I think its relative. For example in a world of blind men and women evolution will perhaps through mutation enable them to adapt and live that life that is considered normal in their environment. This brings me to the issue of support. Its taken for granted that people need support. I grappled with this profound statement or assumption as part of my dialectic behavior therapy skills education training. Indeed the concept underscores the earlier assumption that everyone is perfect, whole and complete because we all need support. Whether we are conscious of it or not does not invalidate the truism of this assumption.
I would say that no individual can live a complete normal life without at least one support. Another maxim which says no man can be an island unto itself also underscores the assumption. The pen I used in drafting this paper is a support. So is the laptop I used in processing the document. I can go on and on and eventually come to realize that we all need support to be able to live a normal life. This perspective

helps me to appreciate the role I play in assisting the individuals I have come to know and work with closely. To this extent therefore their life is as normal as can be. Being able to meet their needs and coach them to make life changing choices is paramount. It ensures that they live that normal life that they can achieve within the perimeters of their circumstances. Effecting daily living activities is a challenge for them but can be overcome with much coaching and continuous skills training. The work I do supports me to meet my need for financial capability; to procure goods and services. The car or other transportation that will enable me to get to destinations where I will access services is a support. It also meets my socio-economic needs in accordance with Abraham Maslows hierarchy of basic needs. It buttresses the assumption that everyone is perfect, whole and complete. Every person is capable and has the desire to move up the ladder of Maslows pyramid of needs toward a level of self-actualization. Unfortunately, progress is often disrupted by failure to meet lower level (basic) needs. According to
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Maslow only one in a hundred people become fully self-actualized because our society rewards motivation primarily based on esteem, love and other social needs. That to me is the key to assisting the individuals with challenges to graduate even up to the advanced version of Maslows hierarchical needs with additional three needs thus; cognitive (knowledge, meaning, understanding etc.), aesthetic (appreciation and search for beauty, balance, form) and transcendently (helping others to achieve self-actualization). Of course we are all, theoretically, capable of self-actualizing, however most of us will not do so, or only to a limited degree. Only two percent of people are able to make it to this level anyway according to a study. Striving to attain that level is beneficial because it builds mastery which in turn facilitates the road to self-esteem. The fulfillment I derive from working with persons with developmental disabilities is a consequence of the choice I made to work in the care industry, to give my very best in assisting persons with developmental disabilities to live a life worth living based on the choices they make within their treatment plan targets. Its true the maxim that says things are not what they seem to appear to be all the time. While it may seem that individuals with developmental disabilities face challenges to take care of themselves, committing them to accept to be coached and taught skills that will help them with activities of daily living and of managing their behavior is sine qua non to their IPP goals. The impact on both their well-being and those around them is a reward to both the individual and his/her coach. They need continuous support in counseling, teaching, partnering, advocating and friendship that effectively works for them and not against them. Conversely the caregivers need to be supported also in acquiring the skills and education to be able to carry out the services that will help the individuals they work with attain these goals. Life in itself is a challenge ab initio. The trick is to be aware of ones limitations and accept circumstance of birth, growth and development, evaluate situation and radically accept to change it through learning new skills of engagement. Making choices is about taking decisions based on available options and implementing actions that ultimately result in consequences that we have to live with. Its almost like we live in a vicious circle of life, making decisions based on choices we make and living by their consequence and then going through the whole motion as life presents us with the same or different/new choices all over again. Its a cause and effect syndrome that we can never avoid as long as we chose to engage life. The end of it all is a consequence we do not live to see and so the choice we make is a consequence we live with and die with.

Larry N. Arafiena Los Angeles February 21, 2013