The Art of War For Dating

The Art Of War For Dating
How To Conquer Any Woman, Anytime, Anywhere
By Spencer Michaels
2006, All Rights Reserved
Table of Contents Part 1: How Women Work

Chapter 1: How Women Think .......................................... 07 Chapter 2: Its In Her Genes! ........................................... 11
Part 2: How To Be The Guy You Need To Be To Attract Women

Chapter 3: Confidence ...................................................... 17 Chapter 4: Be Intriguing .................................................... 32 Chapter 5: No More Mr. Nice Guy! ..................... 38 Chapter 6: Cockiness Done Right ..................................... 58
Part 3: The Approach and The Art Of Conversation

Chapter 7: Mentally Preparing For The Approach ............ 63 Chapter 8: The Actual Approach ....................................... 68 Chapter 9: The Art Of Conversation .................................. 76
Part 4: Unstoppable Techniques For Attracting Women

Chapter 10: Specific Techniques To Be Used In Battle ........ 92 Chapter 11: Mistakes Guys Make With Women ................ 110
Part 5: Body Language and Voice

Chapter 12: Secrets Of Body Language .................. 122 Chapter 13: Voice ................ 132
Part 6: Romance and Style

Chapter 14: Romance Done Right ................ 138 Chapter 15: Style .................................................................... 140
The Art Of War For Dating by Spencer Michaels 2006, All Rights Reserved
Introduction
In his famous book, The Art of War, Sun Tzu spoke about using resourcefulness, momentum, cunning, flexibility, integrity, secrecy, speed, positioning, surprise, deception and manipulation to defeat an opponent. He used phrases like, Lure them in with the prospect of gain, take them by confusion" and "Invincibility is in oneself, vulnerability is in the opponent." In this book I will teach you to take on a totally new, almost war-like mindset in order to show you how to meet and attract any woman, anywhere, at any time. By the time you finish reading this book you will immediately be able to utilize an arsenal of proven methods and techniques for conquering beautiful women.
The past does not equal the future. Take this statement and embed it in your mind. The record of what has been has nothing to do with what you can accomplish in the future. At this very moment you can decide to be the person you want to be and design and entirely new life for yourself. While we need to leave the past in the past, we need to learn from it so that we dont keep making the same mistakes.
Meeting and attracting beautiful women is an art. Its not random at all. There are rules and proven methods which Ill teach you in this book. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Thats right If you are trying to meet women the same way youve always been and expect that sooner or later they will start responding to these same methods YOU ARE INSANE!
Why Listen To Me? Heres a little background on me and some reasons why you should take my advice. I wasnt the dorky guy who never got girls and then all of a sudden read a bunch of stuff and started getting tons of women. I was always pretty good with women but still made tons of mistakes that most guys make with them. I got my degree in Psychology from a major university which taught me a lot about human desires, but that was nothing compared to the education I got while promoting and managing nightclubs in New York City for 8 years. For years, I spent at least 5 nights a week at the hottest nightclubs in New York City surrounded by the hottest and most attitude infused women in the world. In my early twenties I developed
an extreme desire to really understand the dynamics between men and women and became infatuated with learning about what makes women tick. So for years, Ive researched and read every book and studied every program there is about relationships and attracting women. Ive read literally thousands of books on the topic. Since then Ive spent my years coaching guys around the country on how to attract and meet women. Ive taken what Ive learned from the books and research and combined it with my first hand experience in the nightclubs of New York City to bring you the best, no-nonsense information on the topic.
Part 1: How Women Work
Chapter 1: How Women Think

Women Dont Know What They Want Do you find yourself listening to the advice of female friends about how to attract women and often find that it doesnt work? I did for years. I even made the ultimate mistake of asking girls I was dating how I should act. Many guys have the mentality that if they want to learn about what women want, they should ask women. It seems logical enough but it doesnt work for one major reason Women dont know what they want! Its a sad reality that very few women will actually admit to you. A womans emotions are all over the place because of hormones and thousands of years of genetic coding. She is constantly battling whether to follow primal urges or to listen to advice from womens magazines or friends, or her conscience. One day she might be in the mood for a sensitive guy, the next a funny guy, then a week later shes in the mood for a musician type. One day she wants a guy whos domineering and the next a sweet sensitive guy who gives her all the space in the world.
To prove this, all we need to do is look at the book "Blink" written by
Malcolm Gladwell. In the book he examines what he calls "The power of thinking without thinking". The concept is that the reasons that we SAY we do things are often very different than the reasons we actually do them. Gladwell talks about a study done by two Columbia University professors who set up speed dating events in New York City. The men at the events were given 6 minutes to talk to eight different women to see if there was an attraction there. After meeting everyone in the room, the men and women were given a secret ballot to check off which people they were interested in. If both people checked off each other, they were given each others' email addresses. The professors asked all of the women to fill out a questionnaire before each speed dating event, after the event, one month later and six months later. The questionnaire asked the women to rate what they were looking for in a mate on a scale of 1 to 10. The categories are: Attractiveness, shared Interests, sense of humor, sincerity, intelligence and ambition. After each 6 minute date, they were also asked to rate the person they just dated on the same scale. After repeating this "experiment" an innumerous amount of times what the professors found was astounding. The questionnaire that the women filled out about what they were looking for in a mate
and the guys that they actually selected had absolutely no correlation. In fact, what they said they wanted in a man and the men they choose were often completely opposite. Another amazing observation made by the professors was that the women's ranking order of what they were looking for often changed the day after the event. They found that if a woman met a few guys that she liked who were more "attractive and funny" than "sincere and intelligent", the next day when she filled out the same questionnaire, her preference order would completely change. She'd all of a sudden rank attractive and funny higher than sincere and intelligent. After doing this experiment with thousands of women, this pattern held true in almost all cases! Another thing that happened in almost all of these cases was that when filling out the same questionnaire one month later they'd go back to the original answers they had chosen the first day they filled the questionnaire out.
This doesn't necessarily mean that women have no idea what they want, it's just incomplete. This is where you step in with your confidence and technique to "complete" it. The description that she starts with of her ideal mate is her conscious ideal. But much of this
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goes out the window when subconscious thought, feelings and genetic programming kick in. This is why you need to take what a woman says about what she wants in a man with a grain of salt. Never assume that you're not her type, even if she says it. YOU can easily become the type of man she wants.
Throw Logic Out the Window I'm about to tell about a mistake that 99% of guys (who haven't read this book) make when trying to get a woman to like them. They try to use logic to appeal to women. They try to reason their way into to her pants. This will NEVER work. Why? Because women work very differently then men. The sooner you understand and accept that the better off youll be. Women are not creatures of logic - they are creatures of FEELING. They don't use their brains to feel attraction and most men spend the majority of their time trying to appeal to her brain instead of making her feel. You can never convince a woman to have feelings for you if she doesn't. Watching a guy try to convince a girl to like him can be fun to watch. Itll never work because women are genetically programmed to use feeling, not logic, as their primary gauge of attraction.
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Chapter 2: Its In Her Genes!

Genetic Programming Whether we want to admit it or not, human beings are to a large degree victims of our genetic programming. No matter what a woman says or how civilized, cultured or progressive she tries to be, she has very specific evolutionary characteristics that shes attracted to. This is great news for us because all we have to do is embrace those characteristics and well have women falling all over us. A major character trait that females of all species are programmed to be attracted to is status. In the animal kingdom females are told by Mother Nature to mate with the dominant males of her species. It is no different for human beings. When female animals go into heat, they search out the strongest males to mate with in order to preserve the race and create strong offspring. When a woman feels excited and wild over a guy shes feeling the same genetically programmed response that an animal feels when it goes into heat. She cant help these feelings. The female animal in nature goes for the seemingly unattainable, powerful, untamable male. No matter what she says or
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how much she tries to fight these instincts its simply factual that they exist inside her. All of this information is encoded in her genetic structure.
Women need to feel this wild, uncontrollable attraction. They dont logically choose it they feel it or not. You can buy her flowers for the next ten years and it wont matter unless you make her FEEL this attraction to you. Women dont care how things work; they care how things make them feel. In all of the romance novels and soap operas women have been devouring since they were kids, the leading males are always untamable, strong men who sweep women off their feet. This is the quality that many jerks have. Women dont like the fact that the guy is actually a jerk its just that jerks have a tendency to have more of this primal, uncontrollable dominance that the weaker, nice guys dont have. They cant help it fellas. They are simply responding to Mother Nature. Estrogen is a drug that induces feeling. It makes women want and need to feel everything. Testosterone is a hormone of aggression/achievement and dominance. The sooner we realize and accept these facts, the easier time well have understanding the dating world.
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So what exactly are some of these traits that shes genetically programmed to desire?
Physical Strength Women are genetically programmed to desire a physically strong man. Now dont go running off to buy steroids because this doesnt necessarily mean that she wants a guy like the incredible Hulk. In fact when a guy gets too huge muscularly many women see that as a compensation for other weaknesses. What they do desire is a fit man, who walks with his head up high, with his shoulders back, showing complete confidence. I will teach you many techniques in the book that will make women see you as a physically strong creature.
Ambition Ambition is a great attribute to have because it helps women rationalize why theyd be with a weaker man. Major ambition is usually enough to tell a woman that at some point soon, youll be the dominant male shes looking for and as long as she has the patience to wait, shell give you a chance. I remember watching Jerry Maguire
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listening to Renee Zellweger say, I love him for the man he almost is and thinking What a bitch. Whats wrong with the man he is right now. Then I realized that she couldnt help it. It was her genetic programming that wanted him to be the strongest man he could be. Yes I know its just a movie but its a perfect example of how women think. His ambition to be the strong male was enough to keep her interested. Another reason that ambition is so attractive is because women are programmed to look for the instinct in you that wants to be dominant. Most men assume that they need to have lots of money and power to get women when in fact; you dont need to be rich or powerful right now to attract women. Women are equally as attracted to the trait in you that desires to get rich, powerful and successful.
Modesty Never be blatantly boastful. Once you develop a real self-confidence it will shine through in your actions. Any man that feels the need to talk about how great he is in bed or what a great athlete he is will seem weak. Women have a built in radar that lets them spot the difference between real and fake confidence. Instead show with your
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actions what an amazing person you are and always be humble about it. I will teach you in this book how to always appear humble while secretly sneaking in brags in a way that women cant detect them.
These are just a few of the characteristics that women are genetically programmed to desire. Let me stop the list here and move on the next chapter where Ill begin to tell you how to start making these qualities a part of your very being.
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Part 2: How To Be The Guy You Need To Be To Attract Women!
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Chapter 3: Confidence
People feel good about themselves when they are around confident people. When you exude confidence and feel great about yourself, people (and most importantly females) will want to be around you. You create a glow around you that women want to be a part of. They can tell that you feel good about yourself and they want to feel that way about themselves. They will draw close to you, hoping it will rub off on them.
When I was younger, I wasnt always confident around women. I sometimes felt inadequate and unsure of myself. Instead of letting this lack of confidence eat me alive, I went out and learned all I could about how to increase my confidence. I went to the library and bought every book imaginable about confidence. I started applying everything I learned in my real life and eventually I became the strong, confident guy I always dreamed of being. Im about to share with you the most important things I learned and the confidence building techniques that made me who I am today.
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Why you are actually just as good looking as Brad Pitt Before I get into specific techniques about how to become confident let me break down the myth that you must be the quintessential good looking guy to get women.
What if I was to tell you that you are equally as good looking as Brad Pitt? I bet youd think Im crazy. Well actually its true. The expression, Beauty is in the eye of the beholder is 100% accurate. What is it about slight variations in facial and body structure that make one person better than the next? Its the way the viewer perceives them. In fact, modern science is beginning to show us that we dont actually see anything with our eyes. What actually happens is that we gather information from our eyes and create an image in our brain based on millions of variables stemming from social conditioning and pre-conceived notions. I want you to picture someone who youve known for several years. How do you look at them? Would you say they are attractive overall? Now think about the first day you met them. Really try to picture how you viewed them the first day you saw them. I bet its at least somewhat different than how you view them now.
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More proof that you are really no different than Brad Pitt comes when we examine the historical perception of beauty. In Ancient Egypt, fat men were considered extremely attractive, as it indicated that the person was rich enough to afford a lot of food and avoid physical labor. While we spend time on the beach working on our tan, in the early Mediterranean societies women were seeking out pale men. This was an indication that a man was wealthy and didnt have to work outside. In fact, people used to cover their entire bodies when going outside to avoid getting tan.
If a woman of today sees you having yellow teeth shell assume you have bad breath and you dont take care of yourself. In Japan and Europe there was a time when men would dye their teeth black because women found it attractive. Sugar at the time was very expensive. Once they became aware of sugar's ability to rot teeth, many rich, fashion-conscious people blackened their teeth to prove how much sugar they could afford.
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For centuries men used to purposely scar their face because it showed that they were brave and didnt back down from battle. Women found grotesque and numerous scars on a man attractive.
Fast forwarding to modern times - I remember seeing a special on TV about the supermodel Giselle and Leonardo DiCaprio recently. They were doing some kind of missionary work on an island in the middle of nowhere. Based on our American standards, the people on the island were hideously ugly. An interviewer asked one of the natives if theyd like Leonardo and Giselle to stay on the island with them. Not knowing that Giselle and Leo were dating, the guy answered that hed love them to stay but theyd probably never find mates because they are so ugly. This guy actually thought that these two American icons of beauty were the ugly ones! So back to my original point and the really good news; YES - you are as good looking as Brad Pitt. Thats the good news. The bad news is that women of our time and culture are socially conditioned by everything around them to find him more attractive than us mere mortals. While its certainly an uphill battle to try to convince a woman that you are better looking than Brad Pitt off the bat, with proper technique you can shift her perception of
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beauty. Think about it this way. For every feature on him, there is some specific socially or genetically programmed reason why she finds it attractive. Lets examine a couple of Brads features and show how eventually she can find your features equally as attractive. Lets look at his prominent cheek bones and strong jaw line and chin. In Western societies, men and women of all races often agree that a face with pronounced cheekbones and often a heavily-set jaw is physically attractive. These are currently viewed as indicative of a masculine, confident personality. Now, lets say you have no cheekbone structure and an extremely tiny chin but you are incredible confident and masculine. In fact, you are the most confident man shes ever met. You have just set a new precedent for what confident means to her. I agree that for the first meeting or two shell probably still say that Brad is more attractive than you, but after a while those old cultural views that she had associated with a strong chin can be replaced by even more powerful associations about having hardly any chin at all. A chinless guy will actually become her new symbol of confidence and masculinity. If you were to break up with her, shed actually go out and search for a guy with a tiny chin because she now assumes that its somehow associated with confidence.
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So whats the lesson to be learned about all this? If you dont look like Brad Pitt, dont worry about it. With extreme confidence and the right techniques you will actually become her new standard for beauty and masculinity. Keep this in mind when you are out meeting women. You need to know that her view of beauty is so paper-thin and penetrable that you have no reason to ever feel insecure. Be confident that with the right attitude you can actually become the vision for what beauty is in her eyes. The Soprano Factor Heres an example that proves that a strong, confident personality can blind a woman to the fact that you arent classically handsome. I was hanging out with a group of girls I know watching Sopranos a few of years ago. To my complete shock one of the girls bursted out almost as if she couldnt help but say it ,Mmmmmmmm he is sooooo hot!. On the screen all I see are Tony and Carmela Soprano. I immediately think she couldnt be talking about anyone on the screen because obviously Tony Soprano is a fat, balding guy. So I start looking around the room and see some photos on a table next to the TV. In one of the photos I see a picture of one of the girls with her arm around some guy. I assumed that must have been who she was
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saying mmmmmmm about. I didnt really give it much thought and kept watching the show. A little while later, one of the other girls says, Yeah, he really is hot. I finally realize that they are talking about Tony Soprano. How could this possibly be? I was so confused. These girls were drooling over Tony Soprano like he was a piece of steak. I asked the other three girls in the room if they thought he was attractive as well. To my astonishment, all but one of them thought he was hot. They said, Theres just something about him. I dont know what it is. I couldnt believe my ears. This was the ultimate proof to me that with the right attitude, ANY man can be considered attractive to women. Now after years of studying the psychology of attraction, I understand what it is they were talking about. Tony Soprano displays a huge amount of confidence and strength. He speaks in a commanding, authoritative tone. Hes the kind of guy that will put a woman in her place if she gets out of line with him. He will call her out on any silly games she plays. He is always in control of the situation. So no matter how ugly you are, if you can get women to think that you are strong, in control and confident they will find you attractive! This is great news for all of us that look more like Tony Soprano than Brad Pitt.
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Become The Cool, Confident Guy Okay, so know that we realize the importance of confidence, lets look at some ways we can begin to develop it. I often have guys ask me how to how to become a cool, confident guy. The first step to becoming the guy youve always wanted to be is to close your eyes and imagine every aspect of his character. Dont rush through this. Without a very vivid picture of who you want to become, youll never become him. I want you to take a moment to ponder each one of these questions: How does he walk? How does he move? What does his voice sound like? Does he hold his head high? How does he dress? I want you to go through every aspect of his character. Get an extremely clear vision in your head of this fictional character. Now I want you to say to yourself, If I can see him, I can be him. Now take your face and put it on this character. I want you to brand this image into your subconscious. In your mind, get used to walking around like this guy. Get used to talking like him. Just as you wouldnt expect to be the best piano player in the world without practicing, you shouldnt expect to be a cool, confident guy without practicing. Become comfortable with the new guy youve created. I want you to really embrace the concept that you can be anyone you want. No guy was
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born a ladies man. Practice this visualization for at least 5 minutes a day and youll become more and more comfortable being this character.
Another similar drill I want you to try is called Acting as if. Right now I want you to stand up and try something. Come on, get up and really do this! I want you to stand how youd stand if you had 100 times more confidence. Imagine that you were unstoppable. Stand how you would if you were the most powerful, confident guy on the planet. How does it feel? Get your chin up and your shoulders back. Now step away from this book for a minute and walk how youd walk if you were 100 times more confident. Walk like youre a lion marking his territory. Walk with long deliberate strides. Take each step with total self assuredness. Now I have to ask you Why dont you walk around like this all the time? What are you afraid of? Im sure youre thinking things like, People might think Im arrogant or Its just not me. Its these thoughts of fear that women can smell on you. You need to erase these concepts immediately. Women respect a man whos not afraid to let the world know hes confident. You have nothing to be afraid of. Let everyone around you know that youre
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someone important. What youll find is that theyll start to treat you differently. By Acting as if youre someone confident and important; youll start to actually become that way! For the next few weeks I want you to take 5 minutes a day to practice standing and walking as if you had 100 times more confident. After a while youll notice that it will begin to reflect in your own natural stance and walk. Shes Already Bought You Companies across the country teach sales teams a very key rule that helps them sell. They are taught to assume that the buyer already wants what they are selling. In the same way, in order to be successful with women you need to assume that she wants you. Assume that she is interested in you and your body language will follow along. In the documentary Pumping Iron Arnold Swarzenneger says that he called his mother before the Mr. Olympia bodybuilding contest took place to tell her that he already won. Its no coincidence that he was the 7 time champion. By the way, go out and buy Pumping Iron as soon as you can even if youre not into bodybuilding. The confidence that Arnold exhibits in that documentary is incredible and
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inspirational. You can see that Arnold would have been irresistible to women because he not only displays an amazing amount of confidence but hes really enjoying life. People just flock to him. Everyone wants to be around him. Watch Pumping Iron once and youll see why he has become so successful today. Become The Ultimate Movie Character Pick 3 movie characters that you feel exude confidence. Go rent or buy the movies they are in and carefully observe every move the characters make. Take notes on the characters. Listen to the lines they say and the way they say them. Skip to scenes where they are speaking to a woman and pause the movie after they say lines that you find well delivered. Rewind and listen to the line several times. Then practice saying the line out loud in the exact way they said it and model their posture and stance. Get out a pen and write down all of the details you possibly can. Where are his eyes looking? How much distance is there between him and her? Is he using touch at all? Do this drill with a least 3 movie characters and try to find similarities between them. What is it that makes them seem confident? If you can pin point EXACTLY what it is they are doing, you can do these exact same things and seem confident as well.
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Be A Master Of Your Domain When youre out with a woman, use deliberate, powerful movements any chance you get. When reaching for a beer at the bar, grab it tightly and pull it in to you. When you put seasonings on your food use a couple of good hard shakes and then put the shaker down 20% harder than you normally would. This shows you are in control of the situation and that youre decisive. You may not realize it, but she processes all of this information. 99% of guys dont realize that something that seems as trivial as slow, wimpy, indecisive seasoning shaking can turn a woman off. On a date you are being judged on the hundreds of little, seemingly insignificant things you do.
Strong animals in nature make every move with power and authority. You also need to learn mark your territory. An easy way to start doing this is to take up more space. When youre on a date, spread out and enjoy being a man. Be the master of your domain. Literally tell yourself, I am the master of my domain and I enjoy it. This thought process will reflect in all of your actions from the way you open a door to the way you sit in your chair and shell notice.
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Another way to establish and maintain dominance is to walk 2 steps ahead of her (on the side closest to the street is you are walking near one). This creates the illusion of leadership and protection. She probably wont realize what youre doing consciously but she will feel safe following your lead.
Thank you for reading this free preview of The Art Of War For Dating System by Spencer Michaels. What you just read is just the beginning of The Art Of War For Dating ebook course. The rest of the ebook course offers specific techniques and the exact dialogue you need to know to attract women. To order the complete course which includes the full ebook, the Confidence Builder audio program and free bonuses, go to:
http://www.datingwar.com

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The Art Of War For Dating

How To Conquer Any Woman, Anytime, Anywhere

Table of Contents Part 1: How Women Work

Part 2: How To Be The Guy You Need To Be To Attract Women

Part 3: The Approach and The Art Of Conversation

Part 4: Unstoppable Techniques For Attracting Women

Part 5: Body Language and Voice

Part 6: Romance and Style

Part 1: How Women Work

Chapter 1: How Women Think

To prove this, all we need to do is look at the book "Blink" written by

Chapter 2: Its In Her Genes!

Part 2: How To Be The Guy You Need To Be To Attract Women!

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