Saluting the Salubrious Burp

By Pieter Uys

Champion Burper 1999 in his Blue Period

THE BURP THAT HEALED

The Champion of all Burps in my experience occurred in 1999 in a building on Grayston Drive, Sandton. The Burper had definitely not imbibed any illegal substances like beer although he might have had a McDonalds cheeseburger and some Coca-Cola earlier that morning. He loved those burgers. I think theyre called Big Macs.
At exactly seven minutes and 22 seconds past 11 that fateful morning, the relatively tranquil ambiance of the ad agency was rudely ruptured by an explosion. Robust and resonant, the resulting drone roared and reverberated in space and time, reaching even the kitchen on the far side of the huge openplan office. How fondly I recall the awe-inspiring sequence: the crack, the boom and the drone*. Like lightning, the crack initiated the sound sequence, followed by the resonant boom that acted as bridge and prelude to the magnificent drone, the volume of which resembled that of a tremor. In musical terms, the structure followed the pattern of a sudden, momentary trumpet blast followed by downtempo bass drums gradually blending with the lilting cadences of a viola or didgeridoo. Alternatively, with medieval devotional music in mind, one may refer to the crack and the boom as an antiphon** introducing the hymn. The drones duration cannot be faulted. Any longer and it would have sacrificed its startling impact. Any shorter and the soundwaves would not have reached that far. The frequency oscillated between bass & baritone with rich overtones in the keynotes of C @ 256 hz and D @ 288 hz. Introducing and seamlessly merging with the baritonal drone, the boom was the source of the bass. A series of aesthetically pleasing modal and chromatic shifts characterized the drones progression.

Most pleasing was the timbre,*** which along with the pitch, radiated a consonant and beneficial effect. In this regard, it is important to be aware that in the sonic healing modality, 256 hz is associated with the earth, grounding and thunder, and 288 hz with water, the ocean and life energy.**** Those happened to be the particular healing frequencies most needed by the persons around the burper.

However, not all of the immediate effects could be considered wholesome. The china in the boardroom cracked and a poster of Madonna on the wall started bleeding from all orifici. Later, it would emerge that sensitive equipment at CERN recorded a momentary rupture in the space-time continuum at that exact instant. For fear of alarming the public, the authorities have kept a tight lid on the details to this day. The clamour of censure and condemnation in the agency was immediate. Although there were admirers, they were not prepared to challenge the outraged consensus. In defence of those in the immediate vicinity of the source: they appeared stunned, transformed and unable to articulate anything in the immediate aftermath. Somehow I was able to openly express approval. Of that, I am proud today.

For, unbeknownst to even those that benefited, the burp effected an immediate improvement in the lives of those closest to the epicenter. In my case, Angst und Weltschmerz were summarily exorcised, leading to a long era of joy, peace and prosperity. For reasons of privacy, the author cannot elaborate at present but suffice to say that the neuroses and there were legion of all five individuals close to the epicenter abated for a considerable period. The polluted psychic air in the group was cleared instantly by the burp.

NOTES
*Drone

In music, a drone is a harmonic or monophonic effect or accompaniment where a note or chord is continuously sounded throughout most or all of a piece. A drone effect can be achieved through a sustained sound or through repetition of a note. It most often establishes a tonality upon which the rest of the piece is built. A drone can be instrumental, vocal or both
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drone_%28music%29 Listen to an example of a drone in rock music here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUoDnQM1a-s Surrogate Drone by Swans on Soundtracks for the Blind. Disc 2 Track 14.

**Antiphon

A verse or a series of verses sung as a prelude or conclusion

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/antiphon

Jocelyn Montgomery sings the sublime antiphons of Hildegard of Bingen on Lux Vivens.
http://www.lynchnet.com/luxvivens/

Listen to one of St Hildegards most famous antiphons here: Rosa Lamoreaux and HESPERUS:
Hildegard von Bingen's Hodie Aperuit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COK8c_IMCU4 http://www.healingchants.com/hct.hodieaperuit.html Hodie aperuit Hodie aperuit nobis clausa porta quod serpens in muliere suffocavit, unde lucet in aurora flos de Virgine Maria. Today a closed portal has been opened Today a closed portal has been opened that which the serpent suffocated in the wise-woman is revealed to us. Now the flower of the Virgin is alight in the dawn. 7

***Timbre

The quality, the distinctive characteristics, and the influence of sound is called timbre or tone color. This is the distinguishing source of all sound. It helps us to identify one sound from another, one voice from another, one instrument from another. It is timbre, along with pitch, which effects us most. Andrews, Ted. Sacred Sounds: Transformation through Music &
Word. Llewellyn Publications, St Paul Minnesota, 1992.

****256 hz and 288 hz

CD booklet / Sleeve Notes of Goldman, Jonathan. Chakra Chants. Music CD. Etherean Music. Andrews, Ted. Sacred Sounds. Llewellyn Publications, St Paul Minnesota, 1992.

The Tone of C resonates with the Root / Base / Muladhara chakra associated with lifepromoting energy. Dysfunction promotes belligerent, manipulative, impulsive, reckless and possessive attitudes and mindless behaviour. The Tone of D resonates with the Sacral / Spleen / Svadisthana chakra responsible for emotion, sensation and creativity. Dysfunction promotes attitudes of arrogance, pride, distrust and vanity. It may subordinate the individual soul to power-lust or mindlessly embracing the consensus.

SOURCES
Uys, Pieter. Chakra Chants deur Jonathan Goldman. http://www.scribd.com/doc/63651291/Chakra-Chants-Deur-Jonathan-Goldman

Uys, Pieter. Sacred Sounds and Musical Healing. http://www.scribd.com/doc/28327232/SACRED-SOUNDS-MUSICAL-HEALING