LosingtheI

[Video4:LosingtheI]

I was giving some idea of how renunciation happens, but now emptiness. When you meditate on dependent arising, there is an immediate change in how you perceive the I. Your way of thinking, the view of your I, or your way of holding the I, suddenly changes. Before you meditatethereisarealI. I will give you one example, one technique, of how to mediate on emptiness, an easy way to recognizetheobjecttoberefuted.Youask:WhatamIdoing?Iamsitting,orIamlistening, or I am talking. Why do you say I am sitting?Why do you say that? There is no other reason at all except that the aggregates, the body, is doing the action of sitting. That is it, there is no other reason at all. The aggregates, the body, is doing the action of sitting. That is it. So your mind labeled I am sitting, that is it. Now, when you put the reason for Why I believe I am sitting?,thereisnootherreasonatallthanjusttheaggregateofthebodyisdoingtheaction of sitting. When you think that, the minute you think that, the real I believed before, now here, it doesnt exist at all. There is a great effect. Such a strong I is believed, there is a real I, now here when you think of the reason for why I am believing this, there is no other reason thantheaggregates,thebody,issitting.ThenthatrealIyoubelievedinbeforebecomeseither totally nonexistent; you see that, or it becomes so much weaker. It becomes so much weaker, so there is a big change. Toward that real I, there is a big change in your way of holding the I, apprehending,theI. When you do that, there is a different view, opposite to the previous one. Totally opposite. Suddenly, there is a change in your view, in the appearance of the I. Suddenly, that is not true what you believed before the real I. An example is that it becomes much, more than half, it becomes weaker, even though you dont see that it as totally nonexistent. So you can see the change to your life, you can see the change in your view, the mind holding the I, great change. Of course, the more you meditate, then the more you realize it is totally empty. That is what comes.SoyouhavebeenholdingtheI,Oh,thisreallyexists,thisisreallytrue,thisrealI.You have been holding this not only from this morning or from birth, but from beginningless rebirths. From beginningless rebirths, you have been holding this, Oh, there is a real I there, as it appeared, which is a hallucination projected by ignorance, you have been holding that to bereallytrue,onehundredpercentholdingthatthereissuchanI. Theinnerscienceofstronggurudevotion Then, the day when you have strong guru devotion developed, definitely there is a connection to that, one hundred percent there is a connection. When you get some experience, definitely, there is a connection to this, when there is strong devotion to the guru. That is the science of the meditation. That is the inner scientist meditators experience, the scientific experience, the inner scientist. Definitely, one hundred percent, whenever some strong experience happens, it

is definitely related to when your guru devotion is stronger. At those times, it is one hundred percent based on that, one hundred percent. Due to intensive strong purification and at the same time collecting extensive merits, so your way of thinking is good. So, definitely, when there is some positive experience in meditation, according to the teachings, even not an actual realizationbutsomeexperiencehappens,itisdefinitelyconnectedtogurudevotion. It is not just making it up. It is not like many other religions:somebody made it up,wrote it up, made a philosophy, or something for your own benefit, because you want to achieve some power or something, then you write it down like that, it is not like that. It is a really, true experience. Something that happens to you, or something that has happened to many of you, also,whohavebeenmeditatingformanyyears.Soitissimilar.Always,whateverspecialstrong experience it is, it is always during the time when you have strong guru devotion. It is always likethat:whenyourmindismorepositive. When your mind is kind of, very superstitious, with lots of doubts, thick skulled thinking, I know this teaching. I know that teaching. I heard this, I heard that. I know everything, kind of like pride, thick skulled, bold mind when your mind becomes like a desert, when your heart becomes like a desert no water, hot and dry, nothing grows in it, a desert then nothing happens. Then, even a very effective, the most effective teaching you listen to, you think you knowandnothinghappenstoyourmind. Suddenly, you discover there is nothing there. You have been holding this from beginningless rebirths to really exist, to be real, true, you have been believing in a real I from beginningless rebirths, but suddenly now, at such a time, when you are doing all these practices, intensive purification and collection of merits, then you see more guru devotion rising, positive to the gurus likethis, thecauses and conditions gather and suddenly, you discover, It is not there, that there is nothing to hold on to. Nothing is there, you suddenly see there is nothing to hold onto.Suddenly,youseethereisnothingtoholdonto. Thefearofrealizingemptiness Of course, for some people I heard that one of the Sangha, one student, he got unbelievable happiness,tearscomeoutbyjoy,unbelievablejoy.ItismentionedintheMadhyamakasubject that for the intelligent bodhisattvas, when they realize emptiness, they experience incredible joy, tears come out, the hairs of their pores stand up. For the lower intelligent bodhisattvas, unbelievable fear arises. When this happens, suddenly you see there is nothing to hold on to, there is nothing there to hold on to, at that time unbelievable fear arises. My guess is that the fear might be different from the fear when you meet a tiger, or other fears. Maybe it is different. This fear is deeper, this fear is deeper, because here, can you imagine? Can you imagine when what you have been entrusted to from beginningless rebirths, you have lived your life from beginningless rebirths believing, This is true. Can you imagine suddenly now it isnotthere?Canyouimagine?Canyouimagine?Itisanunbelievableshock,unbelievablefear. This is for lower intelligent beings. This fear happens for lower intelligent beings, a very, very strongfear,fromtheheart.Ithinkthatmaybeitisdifferentfromotherfears.

 Whenthereisfear,youmustcompletetheexperience

So, the mind definitely gets experiences, definitely changes. When this happens, you must not, should not stop immediately, as that becomes a huge obstacle. You are just about to realize emptiness, just about to see total emptiness, that the I is totally empty, just about to see that, eliminate the ignorance that is the root of samsara. It is unbelievably fortunate what is happeningtoyourlifenow.Fromthisexperience,thenitispossibletoachieveliberation.From this experience, you get full confidence that, definitely, you can achieve liberation, and be free fromtheoceansofsamsaricsufferingsanditscausekarmaanddelusion.Itleadstothat. Soyoumustgothrough,likecrossingabridgeuntilyougettotheotherside.Ifyou gothrough and continue, then you reach the other side. Otherwise, if you dont do that, you dont reach theotherside.Soyoumustcompletethatexperience.Youshouldnotstopatallbecauseofthe fear, that is a huuuge mistake. Then that experience doesnt happen again for a long time. At thattime,whenyouhaveallthecausesandconditionshavecometogether,(snap)ifyoudont take the opportunity, if you stop due to thinking that, This may not be right, because, Oh, thereissomuchfeararisingSomuchfeararising,becauseyouareafraidtofallintonihilism, becauseyourexperienceisthatoflosingtheI.Thisissomethingthatyouhavebeenholdingas the most important, so precious, as THE most important. You have been holding it as more precious than the numberless sentient beings, numberless buddhas, numberless bodhisattvas. Youhavebeenholdingitasthemostprecious,butnowyouareseeing,youarelosingthat.Can youimagine? AsImentionedbefore,youhavebeenlivingyourlifecompletelyallforthat:forthisI,aaalways, constantly, to achieve happiness for this I, aaalways, all the time, you work very hard. When it is difficult, if you need to steal, you steal; if you need to kill, you kill other living beings. For the happinessofthisI,youdoallthesethings,thetennonvirtues.ForthehappinessofthisI,butit is not there. So here, can you imagine when you suddenly lose it? So, unbelievable fear. Because you are not familiar with the experience Either you have not been introduced, you have not been give an introduction about what happens when you actually experience this, what happens to you, from experience. You didnt get this introduction, from experience. You didnt know, completely, about the experience before of what is going to happen. You have a little knowledge of emptiness, but not a complete idea of the experience, then that is how the fearcomes.Somuchfear,youthinkyouarefallingintonihilism. Because you are losing the I, you think you are falling into nihilism. It is very positive, it is the most important success in life, the one most important success in life is happening, but then you dont have full knowledge about the experience and so you stop. Then it doesnt happen for a long time. What I am saying is that one must go through it, you must complete the experience. You have to let the I completely get lost. You must complete that experience. Then you see emptiness. You see emptiness. Then as a result You see the ultimate truth, and as a result you realize the conventional truth, kundzob denpa, the truth for an allobscuring mind. [Endvideo.]